 The Suicide Squad was an incredibly honest film. By the end of it, I truly wanted to kill myself. Did the birds of prey make me want to fly around and shit on cars? Well, I'll answer that question on this episode of Movie Feuds. The best part of the 2016 I'm almost hesitant to call it a movie was the impressively large list of wasted talent on display. Leading that charge is, will or we some kind of Suicide Squad Smith, an assassin with a heart of gold who's just trying to be a good dad and kill people at the same time. Pro tip, having to resist murdering Batman in front of your daughter isn't a good look. Affleck shows up reprising his role as the Dark Knight briefly, which is probably why he turned to alcohol shortly after. Then there's Jared Lido. Sure, Joaquin Phoenix is getting all the praise these days, but I didn't really believe in that performance because his emotions weren't scribbled all over his face. I need literal tattoos to understand my complex villains. Jai Courtney's here once more mesmerizing audiences and his ability to somehow convince people to put him in films. Then there is our second rate cast, including Killer Croc, Katana Lady, Cliffhanger Guy, and of course everyone's favorite, Rick Flag. He stands for freedom. It's in the name. Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn was pretty much the only reason why I initially saw Suicide Squad. I'm a simple man. I'm a sad man. I see Margot Robbie wearing very little and inspiring women all over the world to dress in cosplay as her. I get on board that ship. The villain of the picture is the corruption of power, aka Amanda Waller. It's also a voodoo witch that can twerk like no other and her dumb brother. The enchantress can warp wherever she wants to as long as it's not at the detriment of the script. And once again, Shakira, those hips don't lie. Birds of Prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one Harley Quinn is an awful title with an okay cast. Margot was of course back as the clown princess and she's far stronger this time. In the first film, she never really seemed comfortable in the role. Could have something to do with her short shorts, riding up her ass. So she put on a pair of pants and really went all in on that performance. And my eyes were sad for that, but my emotions moved on quickly because I found out, hey, Margot was actually really good at this character. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for the rest of the cast. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is wasted here as the Huntress. She deserves far better. As does Ali Wong, who just randomly shows up for a few minutes of nothing. Rosie Perez as Renee Montoya is perfectly bland and Jumi Smola Bell as Black Canary was probably fine, but I just couldn't get over that fuggly bullring that was in her nose. Why? Also, she has a banshee-like superpower that she uses only one time and never again. Useless. Just utterly useless. Ewan McGregor plays the villain Roman, an eccentric mobster who is a bit of a mixed bag. Sometimes he's a rough, intimidating dude and at other times he's a bit of a doofus. Still, he doesn't do an interpretive dance to stop the hero, so automatic win. There is no story in Suicide Squad, not one that makes a lick of sense, and anybody that tells you otherwise is lying to themselves. What writer-director David Ayers serves up is a smattering of nonsensical shenanigans. There are seven or eight to character intros, each containing 35 songs a piece, ending with Amanda Waller narrating the film like she has been doing it the whole time. There is no central character in this. At some points, it's Waller. At others, it's Deadshot. Rick Flagg has more screen time than he has any right to. We have a motley crew of bad guys who've been assembled by Waller to stop a super human from destroying Earth with a giant light beam. Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Aquaman, Cyborg, pretty much all the other hundreds of superheroes were all on VK that day, so the next best option was rounding up prisoners to get the job done. Not just any randoms though, we're talking about the best of the best, or as Amanda Waller would say, the worst of the worst. One guy throws a boomerang and one is a hot chick who swings a bat. Look out, doomsday, the Suicide Squad's coming for you. What are they gonna do? Seriously, it's a stupid premise. Eventually the team works together to stop the witchy woman and goes back to Arkham, dare I say, a little bit wiser, a little bit more humbled. Joker shows up here and there to remind me of how much worse this film could have been had his screen time not been drastically cut down. Birds of Quinn just went ahead and cut him out completely. Sure, there are terrible reminders and sadly some are used footage, but for the most part it's a Joker-free picture. It's told in more of a piecemeal fashion with a lot of flashbacks and notes sprinkled throughout, but the good news is Amanda Waller doesn't show up halfway through to take over the film and narrate. Instead we have the Birds of Prey flocking to and fro in what was clearly meant to be a Harley picture. In fact, I think this would have worked a lot better if they just went all in on Quinn, and I know how that sounds. It's intentional. The picture has a very Deadpool-light vibe. It's rated R, but rarely does it seem to be pushing that rating. As far as the plot goes it's basically Snatch, which is a way better movie that you should watch over this. A young pickpocket named Cass swallows a priceless stone that Roman was after, so he along with his countless henchmen are after her to get it back. Harley meanwhile is stewing over her ex and decides to channel some of her emptiness into saving this girl. Eventually these paths and more all come together, they culminate in a very mediocre final act. Stock production. Two Side Squawks feels like one of those movies that was hampered by the production. It started out one way and then was drastically altered either by the studio or by David, the director himself. I don't know, nobody ever will. The visuals are pretty dark and dirty looking with aggressively poppy bright overlays in music thrown on top. There's plenty of action, but none of it's really that enjoyable. Director Kathy Yan has a very clear vision for Birds of Prey. The movie is all around visually consistent and honestly has some great looking production values with fun narration, overlay graphics, and pretty much everything else Deadpool did better. The final act however is just miserable. I hated everything at the amusement park, it looked like a deleted scene from Batman and Robin. Overly colorful with bad fight choreography and even worse music. Thankfully someone knew what was happening here with the action pieces and they hired some of the John Wick crew to come in and clean things up. The Harley Quinn action set pieces are fantastic. Some glorious slow motion mixed with creative takedowns help elevate this film out of the mediocre category into the slightly above mediocre category. Let's see who won this, whatever this is. For all of Suicide Squad's bad humor, awkward pacing, poor production, and really everything in the film, at least it gave us Margot Robbie and I will be forever in its debt. I mean the Wolf of Wall Street gave us Margot Robbie first, as far as I know, but Harley Quinn Margot Robbie. When I pulled my YouTube community, they appeared to agree. Suicide Squad only musters 24% of the votes and the other 76 was for the birds. And if you're one of those 24% that genuinely enjoy Suicide Squad or just think it's better than Birds of Prey, you're not alone. My seven-year-old son eats it up. Thank you for watching and voting if you did and remember this is more than just reviews, this is Movie Feuds. Oh and if you're gonna call me a bad parent for letting my kid watch Suicide Squad, no one's gonna believe you because I don't have that tattooed on my head. So how would anybody ever know? I mean if you're mad at me for letting him watch because it's a terrible movie, well that's fair.