 When the narcissist is obsessed with you, you try to leave and move on with your life Or the narcissist left you and then came back regretting the discard. In either situation You want nothing to do with them and this is what creates the obsession They cannot deal with rejection. They cannot deal with the thoughts feelings and ideas That come along with them being rejected by you They don't want to believe or recognize that you are not interested in them because it produces these unpleasant and undesired thoughts feelings and ideas within them. It makes them feel worthless and insignificant As though they are not worthy or deserving of your time Narcissists have a need to be noticed They have a need to be treated as though they are worthy of recognition or attention Their false self and their illusions need to be validated If you refuse or decline their invitation to validate their false self and their illusions It will cause a narcissistic injury It will trigger them to self-reflect on their inner feelings of inadequacy But because narcissists are weak and they don't want to deal with or resolve their true inner pain and trauma They will project their feelings and insecurities onto you They will act as though you are not good enough for them and they will treat you with contempt They will even make false allegations against you Or bring up something that you confided in them about your past And then use it to start a smear campaign and enforce fly monkeys When you try to disconnect or separate yourself from them They don't reflect on how you don't want anything to do with them. They don't care about you or what you want They don't even view you as a separate person In their minds you're just an object that is meant to serve them and fulfill their needs They're not pursuing you because they love or care about you Narcissists are self-absorbed and lack empathy They only care about their own needs When they are pursuing you It's because they are persistently seeking to extract or obtain something from you Whether it's your physical attractiveness characteristic traits time attention resources They are pursuing you because you have something that they want They make assumptions and imagine you sharing your looks traits time attention and resources with someone else This is what produces the envy and jealousy They know and understand that they could never be fulfilled by you They could never be satisfied But they also know that someone else will They know that someone else could be very happy with you Sometimes they can end up pursuing you It's like they want you but they also know that they can never be satisfied They will continue to pursue you because of the thought-wide idea of you being intimately involved with someone else Or even just your thoughts or attention being on someone else it makes them feel very envious and jealous They want you to want them because it regulates their emotions and boosts their self-esteem But they already know that they cannot be satisfied. They accept that They know that you will never be enough for them You will never be enough to fill the dark empty void within them, but they still want you Because they recognize the value and the desirability of everything that you have to offer They know and understand How satisfying it could be for someone else to partake and share that with you It's the thought-wide idea of your value and desirability And of someone else being intimately involved with you that keeps them coming back Even though they know that they cannot be satisfied They just don't want to see anyone else with you They don't want to see someone else partaking and enjoying all of the things that could never satisfy them It makes them hateful angry envious and jealous Because they could never be satisfied They could never be fulfilled by you So if they have to sit back and watch someone else partake and experience the satisfaction and fulfillment from everything that you have to offer That they could never derive any benefit from It makes them feel as though something is wrong with them It becomes a reminder to them that they were the problem They have to act as though you did all of these things wrong or you were never good enough for them Which is really just a projection of how they feel about themselves They don't want to accept responsibility for anything that they've done they will start playing the victim as though you've done something to them But it's only because you want nothing to do with them It's only to keep you around, to keep you in their life You might have left them and made it very clear that you want to move on But in their minds you're still together You're still with them They cannot abandon the thoughts and feelings that they have of you Because of the mental images that they are creating in their minds You may not be partaking in anything that they are suggesting or offering to you But in their minds you are still something significant to them In their minds you are involved with them if you go completely no contact it really affects them Because they have these thoughts and ideas These mental images of who they think you are and what they think you are going to be to them But it has nothing to do with reality If you go no contact with them they will create disruptions or problems Even though you want nothing to do with them They are still coming after you They will act as though they know you so well They might even tell you that they know you better than you know yourself Even if you've only engaged with them on a few occasions In their minds they believe that they know everything that they need to know Because of their thoughts and feelings of you And the mental images that they are creating Are preoccupying or filling their minds continually And to a troubling extent they cannot control their own thoughts and emotions This is what creates the obsession and causes them to start stalking you It creates this person holding these idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions That are contradicted by reality or rational argument Who cannot escape their own ideas or mental images of you Their thoughts and emotions are so impaired That contact is lost with external reality When you try to leave and move on from them They are still following you They are still harassing you And the real reason why they are doing this Is because they are miserable and dissatisfied They don't want to see you moving on and being happy without them Because they know that they are predestined to never be happy They act as though they don't like you or they don't agree with you Yet they keep returning to you A normal person would not continue to return to something that they don't like People who continue to return to things that they say is not good Or that they say they don't like cannot be normal Because normal people don't want to be involved or engaged With a person that they don't like, don't agree or don't support This is a symptom of a mental disorder And it is one of the first symptoms to look for They can't stop They can't leave you alone Because they have these thoughts, ideas and mental images That preoccupy and fill their minds continually And to a troubling extent They have to constantly try to occupy or attract your interest or attention Because they can't move on They can't let you go They are becoming progressively worse in their minds Because of their inability and lack of power to influence or direct your behaviour And the course of events They become obsessed Because they are beginning to realise That they can no longer be an influence in your life If you want nothing to do with them You cannot be friendly with them Because they have these thoughts, ideas and mental images of you Which they are expecting to play out in reality You cannot be friends You have to completely detach from them Because they don't want to operate in reality They want the fantasy You cannot be friendly with them Because you've already caused a narcissistic injury by rejecting them Being friendly is not going to be enough for them They will want to hurt you They will want revenge They might not make contact with you for some time But they are still watching you They remain hidden But they are still checking in on what you are doing They are stalking you Spying on you They are constantly reading, seeing or hearing something That is causing them emotional distress They are constantly worrying About what they might be missing by not watching you It compels them to act It compels them to keep track of you Some event or circumstance is constantly triggering in their minds Which is causing a particular action, process or situation to happen They entertain these thoughts, ideas and mental images Which causes them to act It causes them to be very dangerous and unpredictable These types of people who develop obsessions And go around stalking and harassing people Are not friendly with them And go around stalking and harassing people Are not fit to be on the streets They are not fit to be in society They should not be in the company of other people Because they are putting people at risk of danger or harm They are out of control People who cannot control their thoughts, ideas and mental images in their minds Will act on them They will follow you They will stalk and harass you They haven't got anything more significant or meaningful going on in their lives They have too much time on their hands Which they spend focusing on you and watching what you are doing They are miserable and dissatisfied And these thoughts and emotions are consuming them and causing them distress They cannot relieve the pain Their way of dealing with these thoughts and emotions is to stalk and harass you Please be aware of this and stay safe out there Thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching Inquiries you can email me at narksevecoaching.com Check out the new merchandise in the Narkseve store Where you can purchase your own Narkseve t-shirt, tank top or mug The link is in the video description Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon