 As-salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. I want to first and foremost thank sister Hudah and Ayat and all of the other wonderful organizers for putting this together of course MCC. Initially I think the dates were changed a little bit so two weeks ago on the World Hijab Day or that week anyhow on that Saturday I thought I'm supposed to be here, I kind of was in a panic and I was like checking in with brother Menir and then I went back and I looked at the flyer I was like oh because the initial flyer I had was February 5th I think so alhamdulillah it's been you know that was a funny day it was just it's very great to be here with all of you and this you know this day you know what it means what it symbolizes for all of us here is so important that's why putting something like this together especially for our younger generations is really commendable so you want to really please make dua for again the organizers. I wanted to kind of keep this casual normally when I present I always have a presentation of some type but because this is such a deeply intimate and personal topic Hijab right even though we're celebrating you know the recognition of Hijab through this holiday I think the topic of Hijab as all of us know whether we wear it we've been wearing it for a long time whether we're inspired to wear it one day inshallah maybe we wore it and we had a difficult time and we took it off and now we're in this transition you know the experiences of women are of course they differ because we are not a monolith no one not all women are the same right we're all so different and our lives are different our temperaments are different our personalities are different and so I really wanted to just have a conversation an intimate conversation and I love the fact that we're finally in person to have this it's not behind a screen that makes it even more special so I thought it was fitting to start this off by sharing my Hijab story because I didn't always wear Hijab and and then you know speaking on a few different points from from the you know from our sacred texts and then inshallah really having a conversation I would love to hear from you all so I want this to be in a more of a dialogue as opposed to a presentation so please feel free to interject with any questions or stories of your own if you've had any experiences that have been inspiring for you and maybe that's something that you can think about now like what what would you want to share if someone asked you what was your what is your most favorite memory of Hijab or what inspired you to wear the Hijab think about that as I'm speaking and then please participate and I'll open it up to all of you inshallah so I'm going to take you back to just a little bit to my childhood and then kind of bring you up to to where I was you know inspired to wear the Hijab so I was born and raised in Afghanistan sorry I was born in Afghanistan and I was raised here in the US so I was born there but like many Afghan families who are here now we came as refugees from the war with Russia so although I was born into a Muslim Afghan family the topic of Hijab was definitely not something that I ever was familiar with and no one in my family immediate family wore the Hijab you may be familiar with the Afghan dress and although in Afghanistan you know the Chaudhuri that the blue you know long you know covering is common there here many of the things that I had witnessed as a young child in my own family they did not dress like that ever I never saw a single person wear that in my life the only thing that I was exposed to was a very thin it's like a I think it's I forgot the actual material the fabric but it's a very thin covering head covering that yes my mom and other elders in our family would wear but usually their hair was still showing invisible it was more cultural so Hijab from what I later came to know of it was very foreign to me and just Islam in general we had I think like a typical experience that many people have here where Islam was something that was infused in our day-to-day but not something taught you know it wasn't like we were being instructed daily with Quran and Hadith or anything like that it was more just the general you know lessons that we learn of Tarbiyah a little bit of serving your parents of being you know truthful all of those things infused in our cultures and dress modesty was definitely part of our culture as Afghan women so we were taught to always dress modestly and we had codes of dress for sure even as young children for example we weren't we couldn't swim like me and my sisters we were not allowed to learn how to swim because you know those usually required very revealing clothing and my father was super conservative so we just never learned how to swim as children my brothers of course learned so there were those elements that I just I don't think I ever question because they were common all my cousins had similar experiences so anyhow Dean was something that I really only recognized as being something really prominent around Islam, Eid and that was really it other than that it was kind of in the background you know of my life and then fast forward to high school where I had the very the first experience ever of listening to a born or an American convert Muslim speaker teacher who I felt related like a relatability to because every other person who I saw as a religious authority was from an immigrant background usually had a very thick accent and I just did not relate to and so in high school we actually had this was many many years ago but we were privileged to hear from Amir Abdulmanik who was here in our community Mashallah he's in the Oakland community but he came to speak to us about the topic of Malcolm X because the film was going to be released soon and I think it was just a really relevant topic like in the news so we invited him to speak and this was the first time I'm ever hearing someone speak about Islam without a thick accent and he was of course so he's a dynamic amazing speaker he had me so engaged I was like so inspired by everything he was saying and I felt so much pride I feel like that was this first seed really that was planted in my heart to feel pride as a Muslim prior to that I had a strong Afghan identity but Muslim it was there not really so when I heard him speak I was like oh my god I'm so moved and I immediately went to the library and I got the autobiography of Malcolm X and I read it I read it within the next maybe a few days or so and that was definitely a really big part of my journey coming into Islam is reading his story because it was transformative and then it was also American and I did feel very American in my identity even though I had a bi-cultural life I had to have two dual realities at home we spoke our language we ate our food we had to live according to our culture but outside of course as many people know in public life in public school you're totally different so anyhow when I had that experience of feeling moved to be more strong in my Islamic identity it took time and it took a few more years or a couple of more years for that really to solidify and experiences and that's the thing about Islam Islam is a journey it's not something that overnight necessarily I mean some people may have realizations that are very powerful but really when you look at the message that we're constantly told in our Dean that this is you know we're in this for the long haul or the long it's a long game I mean not game but you know what I mean it's not something that you want to rush through you have to really feel or understand have knowledge of course and really understand the weight of what you're doing when you take on your practice and you have a strong identity and so over several years of going through high school finishing high school and then my first year of college was part of that right part of that evolution understanding of what it meant to be a Muslim as opposed to a young Afghan American girl and the next seed came in my first year of college and this is actually probably I mean it is the biggest seed it was really when the garden I guess you could say flourished but what happened first was I lost someone right anybody experienced loss like a real big loss okay how many of you have experienced loss in your youth like either young age right child or high school college yeah so this was my very first big loss first year of college it was my grandfather who I was very close to and experiencing death on that level where you don't know what it means right someone is with you and then they're not and and then you see adults that have never showed weakness or emotion before breaking down and it's very destabilizing for youth to see your grown father for example crying right because he was my father was always the epitome of strength and so here I'm seeing him like that and I don't have any point of reference to understand what is happening because I don't know about what's the next phase of death we never really studied that like what happens after a person dies and am I ever going to see this person again so that was actually a very traumatic experience for another reason too I was misinformed someone told me and for some reason and this is why it's so important to learn your Dean yourself and really take initiative of that I'm just you know that's a little footnote but at that time I was told that my grandfather because he was sick in the hospital that he would not die because in order for a person for a lot to take their person's soul all of his children have to be with him and we had one uncle who was still in Pakistan so here I am this very naive you know girl thinking oh everything will be fine why are people so worried because I had the secret information I don't know why I thought it was true but I just did so I believe that my grandfather was going to come out of the hospital and everything would be fine it would be just another you know routine visit and then so when he was actually gone I felt as though it was like a crisis of faith like what this isn't what was to happen and that something you know really definitely affected me so that was very traumatic and then in that period of time some other events happen and I'll get to the hijab story but prior to me even being in that you know position of mourning my grandfather I have to rewind a little bit because I forgot a big part of the story but I was because I always had I guess social personality I don't know just I had friends and I made friends easily so when I went to the campus this was a junior college here in Pleasant Hill called Diable Valley College some of you may know it but that campus there were Muslims on campus and there was one sister in particular who was hijabi she was one of two girls that I knew that were hijab I didn't know anyone else and I always you know I just thought they were really extreme like I thought whoa like that family is super super extreme Muslim because I never saw that before but she was really sweet and she came to me one day and I remember she just said to me you know Hussai you should wear the hijab and I looked at her like so puzzled because I thought like there's no way that I could do that in my mind of course I wasn't rude to her I was just like sure you know like smiling along as though it was a possibility but in my mind I recollect thinking that she was completely out of her mind because hijab was such a foreign concept to me at that time but the reason why she said I should wear hijab is because I was encouraged by some of the Muslim students to be to take on the leadership role of the MSA to be the president of the MSA so she just felt like I'm in a leadership position on the front face of this club and I should represent Islam well and she just was giving me general nasiha right but I just didn't have that knowledge and I'm just thinking okay she's trying to push me you know into something I don't want to do but I was still polite so I remember thinking that and I remember looking at her like yeah right and then subhan Allah a few you know months go by and I experience this loss and I'm really starting to question life and death and everything is just really strange for me there's just because when you experience death it shakes your reality right you just everything just felt fuzzy I don't know how else to say it but it didn't feel real but I was requested as the president of the MSA to accommodate a speaker and they said there was gonna be a speaker and she was from an African nation I think it was either Somalia or Sudan and she was gonna come and she needed to she was gonna address the college on the topic of FGM which hopefully you guys know what that is and the the school administration really wanted the support of the Muslim students because they felt like she needed to be supported this was a very traumatic experience for her and so I said okay sure so I gathered the MSA and we said let's go there and let us hear this speaker and when she went up on stage unfortunately I found out on the spot because she started insulting the provost I said I'm making horrible remarks that she was not Muslim she had left Islam because of whatever and she was disparaging our dean and so there I'm sitting in the audience with my other fellow club members looking at this person that I'm supposed to be supporting and she's disparaging our dean and I'm shocked and I'm angry and I'm just like I need to do something because this is this is getting out of control I requested the mic you know they were passing out the mic for questions and so I went up and I just said to her you you are insulting us you're lying about our faith and about our you know profit and you need to stop you're not here to talk about Islam you're here to talk about what happened to you you know that's a very political or cultural experience why are you doing this and so I was very visibly mad and they cut off my mic so when they cut off my mic I was like whoa because just keep in mind the audience was huge for so I was a big packed auditorium fully I mean there were many everybody was seated but there were a lot of people there and then most of the people there were like in women's studies they were you know kind of liberal west you know I mean feminist leaning because this was you know such a serious topic for them anyway so they wanted to be there and they had an agenda so when they hear me going after their guest who's flown over here from all the way across the world I'm the enemy now right so they all turned on me and that was really shocking because I wasn't wearing hijab obviously at that point I just look like everyone else and so they all turned on me and I felt like whoa this is it got really serious you know at that point but I wasn't done so you know I need I felt like there's more to say because she kept going she kind of you know got the mic back and she started going on and saying stuff about me so I was like oh no no no this is this isn't you know we're gonna we're gonna end this so then Alhamdulillah my friend Heba may Allah bless her she passed away Allah but at that time she she's she had these big beautiful blonde curls you know she's egyptian all the egyptians here we're the egyptians now masha Allah I love the curls she had these big beautiful curls and so she didn't look Muslim at all she actually looked very you know I mean she could pass for anything so I said Heba raise your hand for the mic she was seated a few seats down for me so they gave her the mic and then she threw it to me so this is part two of Hussain unleashing on this woman Alhamdulillah Allah gave me the words I don't know what I said I wish I had a record of it but I don't know but I know that it got to the point where the hall went crazy and they had to shut down the entire event which was for me fine Allahu Akbar right because that's what I wanted I thought she was she just didn't deserve to be up there so when that happened this was the second major seed for me because again now it was a matter of this question that we all have to ask ourselves every one of us at every point of our life who am I right and what am I doing where am I going these are questions that even the Qur'an Allah asks us right where are you going but the question of who am I was a question that really stayed with me and I felt very puzzled because I had such conflicting identities right I am African American I already mentioned that so what does that mean I have this culture at home and then I have this identity outside where I look like any other western woman you know I wore like scoop neck t-shirts which were revealing I had my hair done I would wear makeup sometimes short sleeves I didn't wear more revealing clothing we were not allowed to but I still looked so western that people would never looking at me presumed that I was Muslim because actually everybody thought I was Latina and when they would speak Spanish to me and I was like I don't know I'm not this is manual they thought I was like a liar you know I'm like no no and then you know I went to different trends where I would pass for like even Native American I was like no no you know so the point being I don't know who I am what am I what am I where am I going and then death was looming around me so I'm just like starting to really really have you know this internal existential crisis of like you need to think about things seriously you know this life is temporal you just witness someone that you you know loved and had such a strong relationship buried in the ground these people that you look like you act like you listen to their music you dress like them they're so different from you they were about to turn on you you know so who are you and then even my friends on campus I had a dream subhanAllah it's just the reason why I share this is because you see when Allah says he's the only one who guides and misguides this is the experience of people who've experienced you know who've come through a path of guidance from Jahlea right you come you'll see the the all of the dots connecting so all of these things are happening at the same time and then I had this dream and the dream was really the final point for me the dream was my friends Hiba I mentioned her may Allah bless her Allah and some other friends were non-muslim those were my core people so even in my friends I had like a mixture and this is like who are you right but in my dream I come out and I am looking I'm in standing in the front of my house and I'm looking at the moon and the moon is so beautiful and I still remember subhanAllah these details of that dream but in the middle of it is flashing Allah Muhammad like in these beautiful calligraphy you know letters and I'm just in awe so I call my friend Hiba and my other friend her name is Yoka and I said Hiba Yoka come here and I was like oh and they came to me they were really far when I called them they came and they stood right next to me and I said look and they both were like what are you talking about they you know they didn't see what I saw and I was like look again and then every time I would look over at them they would be further and further and further and further away and so anyway there was a lot of symbolism in that dream but you know I had it interpreted and someone said well you're kind of on your own path and that's the thing that I also understood early and you know we have to realize as women because we're so tied to other people right in our households growing up obviously our siblings our parents then we immediately usually just you know for some of us anyway maybe not all we move into the next phase of life right after school and living with our families we suddenly jump into a relationship and now we're tied to our partners and then our children come along and we're tied to them so this idea of you have your own path you no matter how many friends you have in your life no matter how many shared common interests you have this is your own journey and I really took that to heart because I wanted to have support it's very natural when you are making changes in your spiritual practice to wish to have people doing it with you how many of us have felt inspired and we want to share it with our loved ones because we want them to feel the inspiration but they don't have the same reaction I mean that's happened how many times right you read an ayah hadid you hear a story or a talk and you're like oh my god you have to hear this and then the response from that person is like yeah mashallah and you're like come on you know I felt like this you know big awakening how could you not have well that's a proof that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala you know is speaking to us through these you know mediums in different ways and if we're not on the we're not it's not meant for us at that time there's a veil right there's a veil and you know tied to this theme of hijab right that's that's what the word hijab is is a veil but when I got that when I had that dream that's when I understood what all these you know experiences meant for me that hosai you need to start taking your life seriously what is your identity outwardly is not matching your reality inwardly and until you bring those two together you are going to feel this tug and pull and this fragmented identity right because you're not solid in who you are and so I needed to take some time and Alhamdulillah with Allah's guidance and good people around me I decided to I need to wear hijab so that was my intention I was like this is the only way that I'm going to solidify my identity because if you if I am a Muslim woman I believe in this faith which I did I had a belief and I I wanted that nearness to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala right I wanted to know him I really wanted to know him if you think about how much we when we love someone or we love something how much we dive into that right you when you get fixed on something that you love whether it's a hobby or even people get infatuated with people right there's a particular I mean I remember I used to have when I was a teenager posters I honestly don't know how my parents allowed me to have huge closet size life size posters of like new kids on the block in my room and I'm like how did that happen you know like we weren't allowed to talk to boys at school but I could stare at them every single day in my room so just really bizarre experiences like that but when we love something we dive so into it right that we it absorbs us that it consumes us right when you love a song I mean I'm I don't know how many of you are like this I'm notorious if I like a song it's on repeat forever until I absolutely get sick of it and then I hate it or like even I remember a group of friends we used to get together for halakas and there was there were these snacks they were gold something pretzels anyway someone brought these pretzels and every time we got together we'd have those same pretzels and pretzels until the point where we were all so disgusted by that pretzel like okay we need to stop going to the extreme but this is human nature right when we some of us are like that some may have a little bit more self control but usually when we claim love of someone or something there is action to follow so when it comes to these claims that we have about our Lord right we have to call ourselves into account like you you love Allah subhanAllah you love Allah you claim you love Allah where is where is the evidence right where's the evidence of your love if someone came to you right now and said I love you right I'm in love with you but then their actions proved otherwise would you believe them no so this is the same standard we have to have for ourselves when we make claims and I think that you should hit me that I say I love Allah and I want to be close to him and I want to know him therefore how can I do that unless I fully embrace his call and his call for us as women is to adopt a very noticeable strong identity as Muslim women and it's not for him he doesn't need this right none of what we do whether it's our hijab our prayers nothing not a single thing that we do is for Allah it's for his sake because he commands us to but out of his love and Rahmah he commands for us what we would otherwise not do for ourselves even though it is the best for us because we don't always have our best interests in mind so that's why he makes it a command right if he left it optional if he left all of the good that would benefit us optional most of us are too weak we wouldn't fall you know follow think of Ramadan it's about to start soon how many of us if fasting was optional in Ramadan would not fast let's just be honest right that's how you get to the heart of your you know to the truth of your own self right to really call yourself out and to know who you are this is what self-awareness really means it's like yeah you know fasting is tough for me for those who it's tough for right I probably wouldn't do it if it was optional but because Allah makes it mandatory for we do it right so there's certain things in our Sharia Allah knows that if we had the option we wouldn't even though it's better for us so hijab like all of the prayers they all are fall under that our prayers are the same if our prayers are all optional we would likely squeeze them all in maybe or not do it at all right like we do them all like let's just say Allah said just do five prayers a day we probably do them all in the morning and go now and free for the rest of the day right because we're being efficient but that's the illusion of the nefs because in your efficiency you're actually opening the doors of fitna for yourself because the purpose of the prayer is to spread them out so that at every interval of your day you check yourself like you're not going to go and do Haram if you know you got four or five prayers ahead of your day but if you squeeze them all out of the way and you got them out of the way then where's the reminder where's that signpost that says hey watch out you know don't do this it's not good for you danger danger right those are that's what the prayer is and similarly hijab hijab is the same right hijab is Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protecting us from the dangers right that are around us because the world is a dangerous place I mean that's not to you know bring us all into a state of panic but we have to be realistic that there are things in this world that take us away from the remembrance of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and that is dangerous for our souls right when we are heedless when we are in a state of ghafla and we forget Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala we are in a very dangerous state and if that continues and we habituate to those things we're doomed it's very serious right unless of course Allah calls us back and he guides us but this is why we have to see the hijab for what it was so at that time in my life when I started to contemplate deeply about my own sincerity and claim of love of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala I was left with no choice but to say Hussai despite your family who's telling you what are you crazy and I did what are you crazy why are you wearing a hijab you're not 50 you're not 60 you haven't done Hajj that's what they thought the hijab was why would you wear that how are you going to get married nobody's going to even like you you're going to look so weird people are going to attack you and they had all these negative things to say maybe one or two people at that time in my life were actually telling me encouraging me like you know mashallah Allah is calling you to the hijab do it but this is where you have to go back to the point I made this is your journey you can't sit here and listen to everyone else because everyone's always got an opinion and they're going to come from their frame so my parents are coming from their frame my friends are also coming up for I had friends very close friends who discouraged me from wearing the hijab at that time because they don't they think like I'm going to be too weird now right when you're have like a group identity right with your friends and everybody kind of dresses the same and you look the same and you like the same things when there's an outlier it affects the group so people will tell you advice based on them and their interests unless you get good nasiha who are looking for you and when someone tells you nasiha that's for you it's they're factoring in your akhira they're factoring in all of the things that really matter so at that time I didn't have a lot of those voices which again put me in that situation like I need to make this decision on my own and I just prayed a lot I asked Allah like yalla please I want to do this but I'm scared I have no support nowadays look at this mashallah we didn't have anything like this 20 however many years ago it's been maybe 30 something years now or close to 30 years since I wore hijab there was nothing like this I could not go out to any place and just expect to see a hijabi now mashallah I almost always see a hijabi somewhere in the car at the store wherever I am I've gone to really remote places like you know I will lie it's happening to me I've gone to like you know half moon bay and somewhere where it's like oh look my own private beach and then you turn around there's a hijabi I'm like oh okay I guess we both have the same idea mashallah but like it's so common now to see hijabies even in those experiences I didn't have this then so I had to really sit with myself and this is the beauty of our dean is that we come into this world alone every single one of us and unless you're a twin you know okay or a triplet or but we come into it spiritually you know different independent of anyone else that even we join or share a room with and we leave this world alone as well our spiritual journey is completely solitary that's why it's important to study you know like the book for example imam had had dads the lives of man that goes into the different journeys of the soul because what that does is it puts all of us in a position of really understanding the uniqueness of our existence right when you really appreciate who you are that Allah made you independent of all of these other 8 billion people that share the planet with you that you are an idea in in his you know and I mean God created you and that he put you brought you into existence for a reason then it puts the weight of your existence on you suddenly like wow I am a significant creature right I'm significant because if I wasn't significant first of all I wouldn't be here second of all I wouldn't be a human I wouldn't be in the ummah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam all of these things are reasons enough for us to know our worth and our value but we forget we're forgetful right because we get caught up with the dunya and the dunya's messages are very are low are much are much lower right a lot what Allah calls us to doesn't compare to what we call sometimes ourselves to what people call us to right because for as women I mean right like society cultures what are we usually where we're boxed in right where we're told that we only umm you know are fitting for this role or that role right I know I mean even nowadays upon Allah I know people currently in 2022 whose family cultures are are it's tragic that this exists but that they you know their their culture teaches the young girls that there's no real point even in striving for education because you know what's the point you're just going to get married and that's their plan that ultimately that they just need to have you know be married and have children which is of course a great station a great honor and nobody's taking away from that but to set those limits right away from such an early age to tell a girl that she doesn't need to focus on developing her intellect finding her calling find her passion and to just put her in a box that says you're just going to be a homemaker just leave it at that this is what what human beings do right this is unfortunately where when you study the history of women and the and what we've had to overcome right as a as a gender trying to overcome all of these different systems of power that work against us a lot of it is because they've suppressed us they've told us that we are only this where Islam is constantly elevating us and telling us that you're significant right that you are the other half of the greatest of all creations because humanity or human beings when we know Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and when we strive for his pleasure we rise above even the angels right and this is known and so we're the other half there's of course men and women we're a pair but we also intellectually spiritually all of our efforts and endeavors are the same in value there is absolutely no difference between the prayer of a man and the prayer of a woman the reading of the Quran of a man and the reading of the Quran of a woman the fast the zakah it's all in the sight of God ayyabada and it's all the same we are elevated and Allah calls us to have these lofty aspirations lofty goals but human beings call us to what focus on you know making sure that your hair looks this way that your nails look this way that your body looks this way your eyebrows are like this your you know constant emphasis on the external stripping us away of all of the other beautiful facets of our existence reducing us to nothing but again trophies right like dolls you know how can we you know trim this and cut this and fix this like molding us into just these little that's what women have become in the society and in the world no longer are we inspired to learn you know someone was telling me yesterday about a story of some of a sister who at 60 years old became a half of the Quran and I just said I love our Dean because women are never told to stop like it's oh you're too old now your kids are older forget about it you know why why even bother no up until your last breath you want to go into this field you want to go into that field do it if it's halal and it's you you're able to manage all the other responsibilities do it there are no glass ceilings in our Dean for women it's just you know prioritize know what what Allah expects of you but you don't have these limitations that humans impose so Allah's always calling us to elevate ourselves it's just that we we of course fall we fall into these other narratives where we're told to focus on these things that are gonna they're not gonna matter right and that's one of the beautiful things about hijab is that what you do when I when I really understood the reason why hijab was imposed on women of course this takes time I didn't have all these realizations when I was 19 it was over many years of looking around seeing women in different situations seeing exploitation seeing women confused about who they are and constantly you know focusing again on all the wrong things that I began to learn that what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala was doing by giving us the hijab and telling us to wear it was to say take the reins right take hold of your path because the hijab is so it's yours it's personal and it's your what you know you what you your effort with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has nothing to do with anyone else and that's why it's not a uniform right how many how many times is the word hijab mentioned in the Quran who knows five times and those references do not have to do with what I'm wearing or what we're wearing here because hijab literally means veil right so the word hijab has been used and made to to hype to emphasize this one aspect of the bad of a woman in a way that historically and socially is really meant about you know kind of keeping her away from public life that's why the actual verse that has to do with what the covering is him on the word right but we see this word hijab over and over again because part of that is it's a term that is used to basically keep women out right to keep them away from public life but we have over or misunderstood really the essence of why we cover because we get fixated on labels we get fixated on terms we get fixated on meanings and definitions like oh that hijab like I saw a post recently on you know the proper hijab and then there's like different women some are wearing the full you know Chador the full veiling others are wearing the cobs some are wearing like a wrap and you know the whole post was so negatively framed because it's basically saying that there's only one right way and if you're not doing it that way you're you're wrong and this is also we have to be careful of using that type of language because the it's it's something that is there's rules to it of course you know we know that when you look at our Sharia and our descriptions of what a hijab entail it is very simple right very simple basically cover your your outright cover your private parts and don't show your adornments don't be too that's why we don't wear tight clothing that's why we don't wear see-through clothing we wear clothing that is covering our beauty our adornments and as long as we are you know we can show our face we can show our hands and of course you know there's different thick opinions about feet from the middle head but other than that you have the the right it's actually in the Quran to beautify yourself as long as your intention is not to be seductive and to be you know using your body or your hijab in an inappropriate way but you have the right to wear colorful scarves you have the right to wear patterns and prints and that's why subhan Allah when you see hijab represented in different cultures look around where do you see a uniform concept of hijab right historically you find I mean in every culture you go to China you go to parts of Africa you go to parts of Afghanistan you see cultural iterations of what the hijab means right because that's Islam Islam doesn't come to say you there's this again one way of interpreting these things we are allowed as human beings to be human some people have very artistic you know inclinations they love I mean I have friends who are very much into fashion and they love it and so to tell them that oh you know you're right you're too sister your dress is too beautiful and this is not appropriate because you're showing wearing too many colors it's just tragic that you know we we're sending those messages especially in this day and age when we want to give our girls a really strong identity of what it means to be Muslim so this is why again we have to go back and say well what does our deans say about these things right and I wanted to share a verse that I think really kind of hits hits the nail on the head as in terms of how we need to understand hijab because you're going to get different interpretations and different meanings and different messages but I think if you get these verses inshallah you'll have a really solid grounded understanding of what hijab is this is in surah I think an aam chapter 7 verse 26 Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says what does this mean oh children of Adam we have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your private parts and as an adornment but the clothing of righteousness that is best that is from the signs of Allah that perhaps they will remember so this is look at the way the verses you know is explained here right that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given us clothing he's given us the ability to manufacture fabrics I mean just look at the text jobs look at the colors look at the patterns the the way that he's these are all from him right we understand I mean if anyone is anyone colorblind here I have I know people who are colorblind and I'm always like subhanallah that they can't see certain colors but for those of us who have you know average or regular sight we can perceive an array of different colors that a lot of people can't or people who can you know who have sensitivities maybe to certain fabrics just think of like the range right the the variety that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given us as human beings to be able to appreciate you know these things but he's he's the one who's given us that reason why to conceal our private parts so this is at the crux of it this is it he's given us these means so that we can dress modestly because in the absence of modesty what do you have you have a lot of problems look around you it's evident when you don't behave and dress modestly you get a lot of you know social societal problems that come out of that so of course he knows us better than we know ourselves so he's told us tells us that he's bestowed upon to conceal and as an adornment so this is where the permission comes from that we are allowed to and you know the tafsid many of them of us sitting agree that this explains the permissibility for us to beautify ourselves in our clothing as long as we are abiding by the rules we're not dressed again in too tight revealing clothing we're not showing our nakedness because nakedness isn't just skin shape you know when you see these women you know male guide them they're just under the spell of the beauty or whatever fashion industry of this society but when they're wearing yoga pants you have to realize that that is a very toxic message to send to women to go out and in the name of comfort and ease and convenience walk around naked because they are that is a naked woman who's dressed like that so please I mean if you wear dress like that so you should not to dress like that because it is nakedness in our Sharia that is a version of nakedness it's not just about showing skin because you're showing your shape and if someone can look at you and see the outline of every single curvature that is nakedness right and so this is the message that young girls now not even women young girls you have young elementary school girls they make brands for these girls that are encouraging them conditioning them to start to dress in this way so that by the time they develop and they have you know that they look like women that they have already acclimated to wearing either very short shorts right how many stores do you remember the phase of the short shorts right I'm sure they're still there but how many stores catering to young children did we see with those types of clothing it's horrible to start to exploit young children especially girls and you'll see there's many people have written blogs about this but finding modest clothing for girls is almost impossible because there's always they target them so early so we have to question these things why why do we live in a society that reduces women to just focusing on basically giving and giving our bodies to for the pleasure or for the exploitation of other people or for whatever why and why why does Allah tell us to do the opposite because who has our interests in mind do you think the society has your interests in mind do you think they care about you as an individual you're just a consumer all they care about is your money they don't care about your safety they don't care that someone could attack you and you know that's not victim shaming or blaming that's reality people target women who dress a certain way so they don't care that you know that they want you to just you know make their walk around like walking billboards for their brand so that other people buy their brand and make them rich whereas Allah tells us dress modestly cover yourself because if you don't you give up agency you give up right your protection that this will help you and not to say that Muslim women are never attacked yes I mean we see this horrible crisis that's happening in places like India and others where women are fighting for their right to wear hijab they're being pulled the hijab is being pulled off of them so there are Muslim women who are attacked as well but what this does for us is it gives us control right of what we want to share with other people and that's why Allah calls us to it but we are of course allowed to beautify it right and then Allah says so he gives us this instruction and then he finalizes the the message by saying the clothing of righteousness that is best so what is that telling us that as much as hijab is always the central focus of almost every talk around women right which I mean today is obviously fitting because we're celebrating world hijab day but usually whenever you hear a talk on women Muslim women it's always like hijab hijab hijab right of course hijab is essential it's a thought nobody's going to dispute that but it is not it is not the defining quality of a Muslim woman character is and that's what we have to understand that Allah is reminding us here in this verse right clothing of righteousness so what does it mean to have clothing of righteousness this is where your character matters are you a good person right do you understand that as a as a create as just a human not just a woman because of course modesty and good character and all these virtues apply to both men and women but do you understand that aside from your outward external display that what matters most to Allah is your core who you are as a human how you treat people you know whether or not you are kind and generous and you're you know adaptable you're flexible are you harsh are you cruel are you judgmental so if we are outwardly looking the right way because we wear a hijab but internally we have all these diseases in our heart does that mean anything are we you know what does that mean it means we've completely missed the message the message is not hyper focus on the outward and then judge every woman according to how she looks externally that's what these people do let them do that Allah tells us simply these are the rules but the more important thing is develop your character get rid of the diseases of your heart be a good person follow the prophetic example and constantly right if I like question yourself put more focus on yourself and this is really the essence of what hijab is but the beauty of why again the external matching the internal is essential is that I had this realization when I started wearing hijab that because I wear hijab it's actually facilitating my journey and what I mean by that is when I wasn't wearing hijab I got away with a lot because no one knew that I was Muslim right so I could you know I'm not proud of it but I used to curse like I used to say bad words when I was in high school especially because everybody did it I didn't know so when I did that nobody was making me accountable because hey aren't you Muslim like should not be cursing right because I didn't openly tell people I was Muslim they may have known they may have not but it didn't even matter but when you were hijab can you get away with that right someone's going to look at you sideways like wow you know and think of that in terms of your goals if your goal is to start checking yourself to be better and told yourself accountable isn't that a huge favor that God is actually making other people a witness to you so that you stop yourself from being bad like what a great favor right I realized like Subhanallah that's a huge blessing of the hijab that I think is lost on a lot of people who wear hijab that by wearing hijab we police ourselves better because I'm like you know I used to do this again I'm not proud when I drove as a you know young teenager with my license I couldn't care less about cutting people off I would zoom past them I'd flip them off if they bothered me I didn't care because I didn't have anything to hold myself accountable to or they couldn't sit there and make me feel bad I was just a stranger but guess what the responsibility right of like this is going to reflect really poorly on Islam and Muslims and it's shameful and how confusing am I I'm supposed to be this pious person because you know why else would I be wearing this and then I go and I cut people off and I curse them and I you know do things that are reprehensible it doesn't match so this is where aligning the two makes perfect sense and that's one of the natural just gifts that come from wearing hijab is that you become more aware of yourself and it's not you know it's it's to facilitate your path to Allah because why and this comes from again studying the human being studying the nature of the human being it is essential that we know that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala created us as triune okay what does that mean we have three different aspects of our creation all of them we have to understand them we have the intellect right the reasoning the ability to perceive the ability to know to all of the faculties that we have that fall under that right then we have emotions right the emotions that are forces they compel us right so when you're angry how are you when you're happy how are you when you're sad how are you we we likely look very different in all of those three states right because emotions are forces and they're very powerful and then we have appetites appetites that can control us right so this is where the three you know different distinct aspects and so Imam al-Qazali and others they have analogies so for the intellect it's like a man you know or a human you think of like a person a little person guiding you right they're driving the ship hopefully then you for emotions they have the analogy of a dog right a guard dog because if you have control of a dog or a guard dog anybody a dog owner here maybe not one oh my shala good nice I I love animals so I'm like what dogs are amazing right especially I mean their man's best friend but when you train a dog they're so loyal to you and they're very useful to you so like a hunting dog or a guard dog when you dispatch them you give them a signal you give them a command boom they do it and they come back you're in control right so that's what emotions do they serve you the way that a dog a guard dog does then appetites the analogy is a pig think about that so all of us have the intellect have this dog that needs to be trained and dispatched when useful because emotions are useful when they're trained and then you have appetites that have to be governed that have to be under the command of who who should the emotions and the appetites be under the command of the intellect right so this is where you know understanding these aspects of our creation will help us to see that we are weak right that we are weak to our appetites that we are weak to our emotions but if we think of our if we use our reasoning skills we can navigate this complex world and that's why hijab isn't something that we should be politicized it isn't something that should be an emotional thing it isn't something that you know it should be something that you really think through and start to reason and understand things like this is there's a reason why Allah made this a requirement for us to the world and you see the way that women are treated and I'll tell you the very first day I wore hijab was again life changing and I know I'm probably going over so I'll can I get a time check just so I know so I don't go over like two minutes okay alhamdulillah the very first day I wore hijab one of the most like eye-opening things for me and this was really when it was like whoa was the way I was treated by men and what I mean by that is prior to that like I said you know I used to wear like you know just open necklines and so at that time I just always had you know this negative energy around just men and I felt like very I just I never was comfortable around them because they had nothing to stop them you know that was very normal in the society to look at women in a weird way or treat them differently or whatever so I always was uncomfortable by that but subhanallah I wore hijab and that very first day I'm like what is this men are opening doors for me ma'am excuse me and I'm like never in all my years have I experienced that level of instant respect and I said subhanallah Allah knows what we need and I felt so much more comfortable so much more comfortable to be around in those spaces shared spaces I could talk to you know men at that point not feel weird because they had a signal a very clear sign for me that you need to take me seriously you know I'm not letting you have access to anything anymore except for this right you just this and that was the signal that I was giving and they alhamdulillah understood and that's been the case I mean I've been wearing it like I said close to 30 years alhamdulillah wa shukr Allah I love the hijab I pray to Allah subhanallah that all of us come to love the hijab and if you're struggling with it know that that's common but there's likely emotional things that are going on internally with you you know maybe you just you just need to really pace yourself maybe you were rushed into it humanize yourself but call on Allah call on him turn to him ask him for strength and know that if you really understand the wisdom of why we wear it then you realize why there's so much cause to celebrate it inshallah may Allah increase us all protect us all Jazakum Allah Khirin for your time I apologize if I went over but alhamdulillah thank you alhamdulillah wa barakatuh alhamdulillah mashallah we're so blessed to have speakers like Ustaz al-Husayi like she mentioned you know when we were younger we didn't have this kind of support so we're so blessed and we're so thankful alhamdulillah to have our female scholars helping us here and inspiring us mashallah powerful reminders so important to self reflect like she said inshallah we'll go into the question answer session we have some questions here we can also if you want to raise hands we can call on you inshallah we have many of the questions asked were kind of covered in the talk but I do have a question here what is a good age to start wearing hijab mashallah first of all I'm sorry I totally turned everything off I don't know why I forgot about the Q&A session a good time to start the hijab it's such a subjective thing as I said from the very beginning this is a personal journey so we can give you the thick answer and say as soon as a girl becomes Balegh and she's you know reached age of puberty this would be certainly the time to begin but I think it's much better I mean I don't have daughters but I have many nieces and I have friends who have daughters and I feel that you have to plant those seeds early before you just expect it because I actually have seen that backfire when it's like oh no you're you know you're getting your period you're wearing hijab right now I think that message is a little too strong for our young girls they need to be prepared well in advance so if you wear the hijab and you wear it with pride then naturally what should happen is your daughter should want to wear it because she wants to be like mommy and she sees the pride you have it's a crown you wear it with real strength and she's just you know modeling after you and so for many people that's the natural course but if you feel like you're struggling and your daughter just doesn't want to wear it please do not force your daughter please please please remember she has her own journey to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala and what your job is to do is to guide her through her whatever issues that are going on for her so maybe there's pressure in her friends group maybe at school she goes to a public school or a place where there aren't many other Muslims and she doesn't want to be singled out because it has happened that you don't know about but I would spend much more time building her up and reminding her that her relationship with Allah even if she doesn't wear hijab is something she should develop that it's not just oh you wear hijab and that's the only way that you could find Allah no let's work on your prayer let's give you good company in Sahaba let's bring you around spaces like this where you see other strong Muslim women when you do them then gradually inshallah when she's ready in her time Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala will open the door for her to embrace the hijab but if you make it an either or situation it's going to backfire please do not do that JazakAllah Our next question is when you receive hate because of your hijab or someone from your family is pushing you to not wear hijab inshallah this is also a very just unfortunate tragic reality of our time that people are whether it's external outside of our community or within their own family systems experiencing those things but I think it depends because obviously Islamophobia is real and if you're living in an area or region where you feel like there's hostility towards you you have fully the right to safeguard yourself so you can if it's a working environment for example there's negative energy there or in a schooling environment I would absolutely speak up to anybody who's in a place of authority and tell them what you feel if you have neighbors who you feel hostility towards I would absolutely try to have dialogue but if they're shutting dialogue down and you feel like they really have a lot of hatred and animus towards you then certainly file a police report because there are unfortunate situations that have happened in the past where people because of their goodwill and just thinking oh maybe this person will get over it they've unfortunately been harmed so we want to always safeguard ourselves with whatever means we can dialogue is important but if it's not possible then go to the people of authority now in family systems you need allies so if you feel that there is a person who's targeting you don't put yourself in harm's way because if it's a parental figure or someone adult that you feel like okay they're really being harsh you need to find other people in the community maybe an extended family you might have grandparents or aunts and uncles or people that you can turn to as allies for you to say hey can you please speak to mama or baba or uncle or grandma or whoever the person is and tell them that they need to back off because that's not acceptable and you should never feel like well there's no point that's your mom or dad no there's always some way recourse inshallah Allah will open that for you it could be in your family it might be outside of your family maybe you need to contact the local imam or sheikh or some other person who has a position in the community that can also talk to your family member and give them nasiha to say listen you need to stop this is unacceptable and sometimes the threat of people knowing about these things is enough to shut it down I will expose this behavior to someone else if you don't stop that could do it because oppressive people and people who have used their positions of authority get away sometimes because they think no one's ever going to find out so silence is not the answer but ultimately safeguarding yourself making sure that you're really choosing the right course for your particular situation is important so turn to someone that you can ask nasiha from first before you go you act always seek nasiha to say listen this person or that person is being harmful or hateful towards me about my hijab what do you recommend and see if there's someone that you that you can turn to who can give you good counsel about your specific situation because giving general answers like this is hard unless you know more then we can get more into the specifics but always seek good nasiha and may Allah make it easy for you but safeguard yourself our final question and then we'll turn it over to the floor if anyone has a question is how do you respond when someone asks why do you wear that very good well my years you get different answers all the time but I think the best thing to do and this is something that I've actually really appreciate about this generation the Gen Z's and the Gen Millenials that you're unapologetic about a lot of things and I actually admire that because as a Gen Xer we were forced to in a way unapologetic Muslims because 9-11 happened and everybody kept turning to us and expecting answers to everything so I was like sorry sorry sorry but I actually don't think you need to explain to anybody anything and just say because I want to because God tells me to and keep it at that you don't need to go into long winded explanations because when people ask you questions like that they're trying to put you in a position of weakness like it's a power play don't give in to people who do power plays because people of respect would never come to you and put you in that position usually it's a rhetorical question and rhetorical questions frame that way are coming from a place I mean again you have to pick up the tone if someone's like why do you wear that obviously it's obvious right if someone's really curious and says why do you wear that even saying because it's a command of God should be sufficient that's it I'm a believer and this is a command of God there you go why not I'm to answer the alternative excellent I love it this is where learning what is the motive behind the question is important and yes we shouldn't be suspicious but if you feel that that person is genuine sometimes we think we have to over explain and we have to go into well you know because hey job does this and that and this and that and that's not you know it's kind of like fasting like why do you fast well it's really good for you and you know there's poor people and we want to have all those additional reasons but the ultimate reason why we do anything is because Allah commanded us to and we are believers and to be honest that actually gets a lot of respect from people because they're like wow you are really sincere you don't like faith isn't lip service for you right you're just you're a person of real seriousness with your faith you take it seriously so it's actually enough to end it there right now did you now yes yes Allah and that's absolutely and that's a very good way to also explain that this is not a foreign act only exclusive to Muslim women because again modern society when they don't see other examples of hijab they think oh these oppressed women of Iran and Saudi Afghanistan who have no choice there's a gun to their head they have to wear these things this is what they think but when you actually explain to them that did you know that in other traditions head covering is actually in the sacred text messages I mean sacred text of you know of you know the Bible and Judaism and other religious traditions that women even nowadays there's Orthodox Jews there's even look at what are they I think it's called Mennonites right or Amish people in other Christian you know sex they also wear the head covering then it becomes oh you're right oh I didn't even think about that okay and you start to realize that this is just something that is you know it's a devotional act any questions from the floor inshallah then after our we wrap this up we'll move into our age-based activities so our leads if we can get you guys to go to the rooms and set up on a final note positive note what do you say to someone who is on the fence they want to do it they feel it in their heart but they're nervous they're afraid how are my friends going to how are my family going to react what advice do you have for those people beautiful my child just like you'll you know as I mentioned we may have people here who are in those crossroads and kind of not sure it's part of you know life that we're going to be with choices in every situation right we're always at the crossroads of something but when it comes to what will propel you or draw you closer to Allah swt you have to kind of you know start thinking that that should the answer of that choice should be pretty simple right and hijab is one definite way that we draw near to Allah swt because any action where we obey Allah draws us closer to him right but as I said it might be a matter of time for you of when to do that so you want to you know pace yourself but just make a lot of dua I'm always telling people like if you're really really confused about something where's the istikhara where's the tahajjud get up and cry to Allah swt really show the sincerity of the crisis you're in or the confusion you're in and watch what happens because when you do that sincerely like you're confused Allah swt will start to make things very easy for you He'll make it very obvious for you and all of a sudden you'll realize you know what this just feels right and also this is a follow up to that don't look at hijab as something you either have to wear permanently or never wear at all please don't do that because for some people like prayer it comes incrementally so some people start praying like fajr and asha and then they add on the haras some people do all five at once with the hijab the best thing to do and I actually learned this from one of my closest friends who for years everybody thought she was a hijabi but she wasn't what she did is she wore it most of the time in places where she felt very supported to her hijab and she became a hijabi, you get it because as she wore it more and more like to the grocery store to Trader Joe's to you know the gym to the doctor's office the identity of becoming a hijabi became one with her identity but she didn't have this rule that said oh I have to wear it or I don't and I think that is a very detrimental message that women get because you would never tell someone who is struggling with their prayer you can't pray any of the prayers until you pray all five would you do that? Of course not you would say pray make the best effort possible and asha Allah in your prayer and then the action of doing your prayer consistently Allah will then begin to facilitate for you and next thing you'll be praying all your prayers same with hijab so wear it to the masjid wear it to gatherings of you know where you feel supported wear it to places where you feel safe wear it in the car if you can just become infused with the hijab so that one day you wear it and you don't ever take it off inshallah I mean eventually but you know what I mean masha Allah masha Allah this has been such an inspiration masha Allah we are so blessed to have you inshallah the honors might thank you again for organizing this beautiful event to all of you for coming out and support masha Allah it's really been so beautiful to just look at all of your faces and with the mask to see your hijabs to see you here thank you alhamdulillah and to see subhanallah all the different age ranges and the diversity and we're all here together supporting one another celebrating one another especially in today's day and age the age of social media like such as I was saying pulling us into different directions and here together we know ourselves we know our identities alhamdulillah and we're always here to support one another inshallah