 This is David Feldman for Salon. Mark Zuckerberg spent the past week honeymooning in Rome. You know, if Zuckerberg wanted to see ruins, all he had to do was visit Facebook's price on the Nasdaq. As it dips below 30, stock in Facebook is now set to be a steal, just like the idea for Facebook. Miami police shot and killed a growling naked man eating the face of another naked man. Florida police would have shot that naked guy a lot earlier, but he was only eating a face, not a bag of skittles. Miami police knew the guy was insane because who in their right mind thinks they're getting fresh face in Florida before the end of August? I don't know about Florida, but I'm from New Jersey where we like our faces well done. The Vatican Bank scandal has widened after police arrested the Pope's butler. True story, the Vatican needs a bank and the Pope deserves a butler was the working title of Jesus' sermon on the Mount. After firing hundreds of lawyers and cutting salaries for its partners, Dewey and Labouf filed for bankruptcy Monday night, making it the biggest law firm to collapse in U.S. history. Let's wait a second for my erection to subside, shall we? There, Dewey and Labouf owes banks and creditors $500 million in legal parlance that comes out to roughly three billable hours. Melissa Riffers and Porn King Steve Hirsch have called it quits, unfortunately from each other and not from life. Melissa is set to have embarrassed the Porn King at last year's adult video awards when she kept walking up to the nominees and asking who they're not wearing. I'm David Feldman for Salon.