 Hi, it's Pukie and Buddy. And today I am responding to a request to talk to you about how to prepare for the first time you go to see a therapist. So if you've never been to see a therapist or a counselor before, then it can be quite daunting. So hopefully these tips will help you to understand a bit more about what to expect and how to prepare and that kind of thing. So number one, anybody, number one is to understand that therapy isn't like, it kind of looks in the movies and stuff. So you're not gonna arrive and be expected to kind of lie on a couch with someone just sat there going, and how did that make you feel? So yeah, number two, that's an important thing to understand that regardless of what type of therapy or counseling you are doing, the most important part about it and the thing that's been found to kind of have the biggest impact on anything at all is what we call the therapeutic alliance. So basically the relationship that you build with the therapist or counselor. And that's very important, but it does also take a little while. So you wouldn't necessarily expect to walk into your first appointment and find that by the end of it, everything's changed and you're skipping out the doorway. It's gonna take a little bit of time. Number three is to actually prepare, to have some idea about why you're going, what you're hoping to get out of the session, why you think you're there, any questions that you might have. So kind of do, yeah, just do a bit of thinking before you go along rather than just sort of rocking up and hoping for the best. As with most things, if we prepare better then we tend to get more out of it. And with therapy, either you're gonna be paying for it or else you might be there on the NHS or as a result of kind of medical insurance or something and it's gonna be some sort of limited. So there's usually some sort of limiting factor, whether it's your income or how many sessions you're allowed to have. So it's really good if you can try and get the most out of each and every session. So preparing really helps with that. Number four is it's important to understand that your therapist isn't your friend. So you might build a relationship with them. You might get to know them a little bit. They might certainly get to know you pretty well over time, but they aren't gonna be your friend. They're not gonna be someone that you're ever gonna hang out with outside of the session. And they are probably unlikely to answer many questions about themselves. Next one is your therapist, counselor, definitely wants to be there. So sometimes there can be this concern, particularly if your self-esteem is very low, that the other person in the room is just there because they're being paid. Believe me, these professions are not ones that you do just for the money. These are generally kind of vocational, someone who's gone into it because they really, really wanna help other people. It's a waste of your time to be constantly kind of questioning and doubting that. And I say that as someone who has spent a huge amount of time questioning and doubting that. Next one is they don't know all the answers. So you can't expect them to give you a magic bullet. If you have ended up in sort of talking therapy or counselling, then it usually means that there are some underlying issues that you need to work through. That's gonna take time. There isn't gonna be a simple answer, but you will find that if you engage with the therapy and you get engaged with the process and you try it hardest, that it's likely that things will get better over time. But yeah, no, there's no magic bullet. If there were kind of some sort of magic wand or pill that would make this all better, then someone would be making millions and millions of pounds out of it and I would be kind of clutching their ankles and never letting go. So the next tip is to ensure that you are ready to feel big stuff. So when you go through therapy, then you will feel lots of feelings perhaps for the first time. You might be somebody who's been quite emotionally guarded in the past. You might have various things that you've never explored or talked about and so you're likely, yeah, it's likely to evoke a lot of feelings that you haven't allowed yourself to experience in the past. All therapists tend to have tissues to hand, be prepared to cry. They're quite used to it. That's fine. But there might also be some laughter there too. There's usually a whole range of different thoughts and feelings that go with each session and you might find that as you relax into it and you get to know your therapist better that even just as you walk in the room that you begin to sort of stir up some of those feelings, they won't all be positive but it's so important that we allow ourselves to, yeah, kind of run that whole gamut of emotions. It's certainly something I'm having to learn very slowly to become more comfortable with but it is important. We have feelings for a reason and blocking them off tends to have relatively negative consequences which is why we end up in talking therapy. But because you're gonna evoke those big feelings, then it's great if you can plan something for afterwards, read your favorite book, go for a coffee, something basically that allows you to kind of carry out a bit of self care because it can really take it out of you. What I wouldn't do is kind of try and squash your therapy session in lunchtime between big meetings at work or something. That doesn't tend to work so well. What's really good is if you can give yourself a bit of processing time, a little bit of time to let it settle, to be kind to yourself, just allow your thoughts to process after the session, that can be really helpful. And it might be that there's someone else in your life that you like talking to about this stuff and sometimes saying to them, oh, is it okay if I give you a call afterwards or can we grab a coffee? That can be really helpful too. It can be nice to get another perspective. It just depends on who you are and what your friends like and stuff. Next is engage. So you will get a limited number of sessions most likely and you will wanna make less use of your time. So try and really engage with the process. It can be really hard. It's possibly one of the harder things that you'll ever do, but it's also one of the most worthwhile things that you can ever do. And the use of this time is one of the best investments that you could make if you are in need of the therapy. And so the better that you engage with the process, then the more you'll get out of it. It really is very that you put in the more that you get out. And you need to kind of make sure you're doing it at a pace that you're comfortable with and work with your therapist to ensure that that's the case and it's not having too much for toll outside the sessions. But yeah, being able to actively engage is really important. And then finally, my final tip is actually, this sounds really weird, but try and enjoy the process. It's really fascinating. You'll learn more about yourself than you ever thought possible. And it will also probably change how you view things that have happened in the past and your relationships with different people. You'll find yourself over the course of the sessions kind of growing and learning and becoming a slightly different person with a bit of a different outlook on things. Hopefully you'll become, you know, slightly happier, healthier, more emotionally stable person too. But yeah, it's a process and it's interesting. And if you can, yeah, try and enjoy it. I hope that was helpful. 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