 Five ways to outsmart the narcissist The narcissist has to maintain that authority and control over you They have to remind you that they have the power or right to give orders make decisions and enforce obedience They have to remind you that you are their subordinate You are under their control They want to run your life They want to make decisions for you and they hate it when you have your own ideas or preferences Because they want you to be just like them They want you to want what they want So here are some ways that you can outsmart the controlling narcissist When they say that you're against them Narcissists have black and white thinking You're either with them or against them They expect you to think the same way that they do They expect you to be heavily focused on the same things To outsmart the narcissist You can let them think that you're either with them or against them But you don't have to think that way You can give them the freedom to label you however they choose to Without trying to control how they see you Without trying to fight or resist it Because you understand that how they see you Doesn't have to affect how you see yourself too When they criticize you for having a different opinion They will portray you as being wicked and threatening For not agreeing with their intentions or motives They will say that there must be something wrong with you They will say that you're a rebel As though you're not willing to conform And they can't deal with you To outsmart the narcissist You can tell them that they're allowed to have the opinion of you If they want to see you as someone who is rebellious That's okay You may not agree with what they're saying But you don't have to let it define who you are They can give you all of the reasons To try to change how you see yourself But you can still choose to hold the same opinion Free when the narcissist enforces their fly monkeys The narcissist will enforce their fly monkeys onto you These are people who do the narcissist bidding They act on the narcissist's behalf They agree with everything the narcissist says When you don't conform to the narcissist's agenda They will start talking to people about you They will say horrible things about you They will try to turn people against you Until there becomes this group of people who all see you the same way as the narcissist To outsmart the narcissist in this situation You can choose to not be another fly monkey You can choose to not be one of them And continue to see things in your own way Instead of conforming to a group-thick mentality Let them think what they want If they agree with the narcissist You shouldn't want them around you anyway When the narcissist insults people or things that you love This is a common tactic that the narcissist used to get to you And many people do get affected by this But to outsmart the narcissist Let them think whatever they want They may mock you and laugh at you But you can continue to speak your truth You can continue to hold your frame Despite what they say to you Because it's only when you play their game That they have power over you They want to pull you into their mud But you can choose to stand aside and imagine as though you're wearing an online suit As though anything they throw at you runs right off Five When they make you feel like there's something wrong with you They will constantly remind you that you're not enough As though you're different and you don't deserve to be around them Instead of trying to make them approve of you You can stand in your own frame And say yes I am different You can choose to accept and support their perception of you Rather than resist in it Because when you resist it You give your power away You give them the ability to influence how you see yourself But when you choose to accept and support this belief It holds no power over you It allows you to notice the separation between you and the label that they are given to you Rather than attaching to it and identifying with it The narcissist wants you to feel like you're unreasonable and unacceptable And then they want to tell you what is reasonable and acceptable And make you conform to it But you outsmart the narcissist By letting them be what they choose to be By choosing to hold your own separate thoughts and beliefs Thank you for watching I hope this video resonates with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching Inquiries You can email me at coaching.narc-sur-viver.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon