 In the name of Allah, the Lord of Mercy, the giver of mercy and prayers and blessings be on His beloved Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So when we first talked about this, I didn't realize how big of a thing that I wanted to do because I thought, hey, let's just talk about the mothers and the believers. It's a really, really, really tall order for like about an hour and a half. So if there's a point where I'm like, I don't know, just it's a tall order, but Bismillah. So we're going to start and then because besides that being a tall order, I thought it would be actually pretty cool if we started with the mothers of the greatest believer, Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Because a lot of your personal relationships in terms of your marriage are actually very much dictated by what you saw your parents do. And what you grow up seeing in terms of so, I don't know, for me, who my father was, and the example that he gave me is what my expectation of what a man should be. And the same for men, when you see your mother and how she's acting, that's your expectation of what a woman should be. Subhanallah. So I thought it'd be really cool to start with the mothers of the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam's mom, it's really interesting because his father actually passed away before he was born. But it's a, and I don't want to talk too much about his father because we're focusing on the moms. But the way that his parents got married is that his father was, he gets a new lease on life. So he was supposed to be sacrificed and it is a similar story to his great-great-grandfather Isma'il alayhi sallam. Isma'il, the son of Abraham, he used to be upon him. He was supposed to be sacrificed and Allah's Panathala saved him. So the father of the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had a similar experience where he was supposed to be sacrificed and Allah's Panathala saved him. So the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is actually known as the son of the behind the two that should have been sacrificed. And Allah's Panathala saved them. So his father gets a new lease on life. Everybody is really, really excited. And the first thing he does, he goes and he marries the mother of the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Amin, al-Radiullah, which I think is really beautiful. Like there isn't a greater romantic gesture than you are. If I have, if I now have more time to live, what I want to do is marry this person. SubhanAllah. So he marries the mother of the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and he leaves shortly after they get married. He leaves on a business trip and he passes away on the business trip. And he never actually gets to find out that his wife was pregnant or that he, that he had a son at all. SubhanAllah. So he leaves, but his mother, Amina, so she's at this point, she's a young pregnant widow that is heartbroken at the loss of her husband. And all this stuff is happening in the year the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is born and is also known as the year of the elephant. And it's known as the year of the elephant because there was an army of elephants coming destroy the Kaaba. So there was a man by the name of Abraha in Yemen and he really didn't appreciate the competition the Kaaba created for his big cathedral that he built. He's like, why can't I make religious money? Why can't people come and appeal Grimage to my cathedral that I built? So he decided the only way to fix it is to kill the competition by destroying the Kaaba. Terrible plan, but Abraha thought this way. He was actually a terrible human being. Anyways, he takes an army of elephants. He's marching towards Mecca and there's a miracle that happens where there are birds that come out of the sky and they throw rocks. These burning hot coal rocks at the army of elephants and the army of elephants turns back. But before that happens, like they're seeing the army, you can imagine everyone in Mecca is seeing this army of elephants coming to destroy their homeland. They've never seen an army like this in their lives. The people of Mecca are evacuating. If there's an impending war, the civilians evacuate. So the civilians evacuated, they went up to the mountains and they're watching the army of elephants approaching. And they also watch Allah turn the army back. But you can imagine the mother of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam being a pregnant widow watching this army and processing her own grief. There are narrations where the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam says that there were specific rocks and trees that would say salams to him. When he was young, he would walk around and there's trees and rocks that would say As-salamu Alaikum Rasulillah. And he would think he'd actually never told anyone until much later, until he actually became a Prophet because he was worried people would think he was crazy or like what the rocks and trees are talking to you. But there's actually narrations that those same rocks and trees would give salams to his mom. And they would say As-salamu Alaikum Rasulillah. Peace and blessings be to you, O mother of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. So there's clearly his biological mother, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. There's another woman by the name of Umm Aiman. Her actual name is Baraka. And Baraka means blessings. And Subhanallah, she was an Ethiopian woman that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam actually inherited from his father before he was even born. And it was clear how deeply ingrained slavery was in the Arab society before Islam. And Subhanallah, Umm Aiman is the most consistent motherly figure in his life, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. So she's there when he's born. She helps him with, she's like the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is born. He's just his mother and his nanny and his grandfather is overseeing him. There's a point, short not too long after he's born that he goes out to them as was the tradition of the Arabs. They would go out to the middle of the desert and they would send their children there so that they could be raised there. I just moved to New York. No one should ever raise a child in New York. There's a reason why people raise their children where there's big open spaces. You have a lot less disease. You have a lot of space to run around. Like children just can't be confined to spaces. So this is something that the Arabs would do. They would send their children out with these nannies, especially when they were newborns. They'd have these wet nurses that would nurse them. They would teach them the Arabic and they would protect them from the disease and the hustle and the bustle of the city. So there was Halima, and she's another one of the people that the other mother is in the life of the Prophet. I think it's really beautiful because it makes sense for his mother to love him. But for both Barakah, and Halima, for both of them to say that we loved them as much as we loved our own children, that's a testament to both those two women and a testament to the Prophet himself. And I think it's just so beautiful. In what world does your nanny, where it's her job to make sure that you're okay, we don't say this out of respect for who these people are. But technically he was her job. But yet she said she loved him just as much as she loved her own children, subhanAllah. And you can see how protective they were over the Prophet's life, even as a child. The Prophet's life, when he leaves Halima, it's funny because he has a brother that's his age, from Halima, Halima's son, so he's not his biological brother. And Halima has a daughter that's older than him. Years and years later, when the Prophet's life conquers Mecca, Halima's oldest daughter, she tells her friend, she's like, you know, my brother's a king. You know he's not. And then he's like, no, no, no, he is. And she takes him to Mecca, and she goes and gives salams to the Prophet's life. And the Prophet's life is like, oh yeah, he takes office, he puts it down, he has her sit. And this leader, this king, this leader is like honoring his sister, his older sister that would like watch him play as a child. And she goes to her friend, she's like, see, I told you he was a king. SubhanAllah. Even though the Prophet's life was an orphan that didn't have biological brothers and sisters, Allah swt gave him so many people in his life. Really, and just gave him endless amounts of love, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, from so many different people. After he leaves the care of Halima, he goes back to his mother. And he's living with his mother, and his mother, one of the first things she does, she takes him to Medina to visit the grave of his father. Because she wants to tell him of the stories of his father. And we all have these images of the perfect family. You have, I don't know, you live in a house and you have 2.2 children and you have a minivan and you have a garage. Like we have a very textbook definition of what a perfect family is supposed to look like. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was raised by a single mother. And in that space she's saying, I want you to know your father because it wasn't a lack of love. It wasn't a lack of love that you didn't have a father that was present in your life. And he had a grandfather, he had uncles, he had so many people in his life that were trying to compensate him for the love that he, the love his father would have otherwise given him. So she takes him on this trip and he visits his father's grave and he plays with the children in Medina. Years later when he comes back he says, yeah, yeah, I went swimming with the kids here. I played here, I did this here, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And they leave the trip and on the way back his mother gets sick. His mother Aminah gets sick. And it's just him and Aminah and Um Aiman and his mother is on his deathbed and the 6 year old child is holding on to his mother saying, don't leave me. And you can imagine the pain that he's going through having visited his father's grave now watching his mother pass away in the middle of nowhere. This place called Iblah is actually outside of Medina. If anyone goes to visit it's just, there's still nothing there. It's far out enough from civilization that there's just nothing there. When she passes away and Um Aiman, she's the one that actually digs the grave, she buries Aminah and she takes the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam back to Medina. And he's raised by his grandfather. He lives in his grandfather's home for two years and then he's taken in by his uncle after his grandfather passes away. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam kept switching one house to another because people kept passing away. When he was 12 years old, his uncle was going on the same trip that literally took his father and took his mother. So he's going out to trade and he tells his uncle, he's like, don't leave me. Everyone I love leaves me. And he holds on to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He holds on to his uncle and he's just terrified. Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you can feel the pain that he's going through. His uncle ends up, he goes on the trip, he's very protective of him. And his uncle before the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, besides the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he actually had 10 of his own kids. So now as the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is growing older, he's not thinking, let me build my own family. He's thinking, how do I support the family that took me in? So he's going, he's just, it's upon Allah. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had a very, very difficult life. And the reason I feel like that's important backdrop to the women that he married, you can see that each of the women that he married, wasn't marrying him because, hey, this will be convenient. Hey, this is a well-known man. They all knew the difficulty that came with living with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. His life was just had so much difficulty in it. There's a verse in the Qur'an that actually, I really love this imagery. I think this same imagery is actually in the Bible in a number of different holy books, upon Allah, that is talking about taking metal ore and putting it into the fire. And all the gunk bubbles out and all you're left with is actual gold. And we're going, like, whatever difficulty you're going through, a lot of the times it's just purification. Hopefully by the end of it you end up with gold, SubhanAllah. And this whole idea of, like, faith and belief, it's really easy to have faith when things are going good. The real test is when things are actually difficult and you're fighting. SubhanAllah. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he starts trading. There is a point in his life, there's a point in his life where he's a shepherd. And then he starts doing the same business that almost everyone else in Mecca is doing. They travel to Syria, they travel to Yemen, they trade back and forth. And he's trading back and forth. And at some point there's this very wealthy, beautiful woman named Khadija, and she needs to hire someone. So she hires these traders and she partners with them. And what made her different from all of the other merchants in Medina, like, and I just want to, she ran her own company. She was like the CEO of a company. And every time she hired someone in that company, she gave them the benefits package where she said, you actually own a stake in the company. Because this is a partnership, I'm not just hiring you and when I'm done, you're done. SubhanAllah. Which I think is truly beautiful about who she is and it shows her character. And Khadija radiullah is just this powerful, beautiful woman in Mecca. She's very wealthy. And she hires the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam because she needed someone to go trade. And when she hires him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, she actually sends her, sends a servant with him just to like check on him. She didn't tell them this guy's here to check on you. But she sends him just to like keep eyes on what's going on. And this man is by the name of Maithara and forgive me if I'm using too many names. If anyone gets lost in the names, just start waving at me or something. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and Maithara, they're going on this trip. He's trading on behalf of Khadija radiullah on her. And what Maithara sees of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam just blows his mind. First of all, he's saying we were trading and people are trading and they tell him, swear by Allah, swear by the gods of Mecca. He said, I never worship the gods of Mecca for me to swear by them. I'm telling you the truth. And Subhan Allah, you see the character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Maithara is seeing this, he's like, oh wow, that's interesting. Because Khadija radiullah on her also never worshiped any of the other prophets of Mecca. Sorry, any of the other gods of Mecca. Her whole life, she was also someone that only believed in Allah swt. There were a minority among the people in Mecca, but she was one of them. And she was one of them because her cousin, Waraqa, was actually a Christian scholar that translated the Bible into Arabic. And she would study with him and she was a monotheist. And she was studying with her cousin, really, she had her own knowledge. Well, the Allah on her. Which I think is really amazing. Again, a lot of the times, you're like, oh, she married the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. No, she was a formidable person in her own right. She believed in this. So Maithara sees this and he's really impressed by it. And the other thing that happened is that Maithara gets sick. Maithara is the servant that's there to help the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He gets sick and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam stops and takes care of him. Clearly, he wasn't some elitist that is like, oh, I'm better than everyone else. You're here to serve me, you're sick. Tough luck for you. Subhanallah, we know that's not the character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So Maithara comes back. He comes running back and he's telling Khadija, this happened and that happened. And he's telling her, he's telling her he's exactly like you. He believes like you. Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And you can imagine Khadija, she's like, this guy is interesting. Something else that happened while they were on that trip. There was a celebration for the people of Ben-e-Tameem. Which is the tribe of Khadija, so they're in this celebration. And the women are, have their own era around the Ka'bah and they're celebrating. And she's hanging out with all the other women. And this man comes on the women's side and he gets stuck in the middle of the group of women. He says, ya nisaa ben-e-tameem. Oh, women of Ben-e-Tameem. There's about to come a Prophet from among you. Whoever can marry him should. His name is Ahmed. And all the other women, well, sorry, I'm Arab, so I can make fun of my own people. So the Arab women are like, really, what are you doing on the women's side? We don't care about your message, get out. And they gave him a hard time about it. But Khadija, the Allamah, sat there and listened. She's like, huh, that's interesting. My cousin's been telling me about this. He's been teaching me about prophets. SubhanAllah. So you can imagine this stuff is happening. And she's seeing all these different signs. And she's seeing the true character of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. And he comes back. And Maisaa is running back to tell her all these stories. And she's waiting for the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam to come back. And she sees him walk back into Mecca. There's two clouds that are just following him. Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is shading him from the sun. SubhanAllah, like, she's just like, that's it. Khadija, radiAllah, had sworn off men. Her first two husbands had passed away. She'd had children from her first two husbands. She swore off men. She's like, that's it, I'm not doing this. I'm just going to raise my kids. I'm going to run my business. I'm not interested anymore. But the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam comes back and she's interested. And what she does is she sends her friend by a woman by the name of Nusaybah. Actually, she doesn't send her friend. Her friend sees her just sitting there. She's like, just lost in thought. And Nusaybah comes to her. She's like, what's going on? You're a woman with a good head on her shoulders. What's got you all messed up? And she tells her this man, Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. She said, I've never seen anyone with character like his. I've never seen anyone that is just as amazing as this man. And she tells her, she's a Khadija. Are you interested in him? And she said, yes. And she's like, well, here, let me go deal with it. So Nusaybah goes to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. And she goes to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. She tells him, why didn't you know, you're 25. Why didn't you get married? Which is really funny because if you're single in the Muslim community, this happens to you a lot. And it's what the other thing that's interesting is for the Arabs, the Arabs had two modes. You were either a child or able to bear children and therefore should get married. So by the time he's the age of, and this is more, most pre-modern societies looked like this. It wasn't until the industrial revolution, sorry, tangent. After the industrial revolution, we decided there's this thing called teenagers. But most pre-modern societies, if you were old enough to get married, you got married. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was 25. He had years worth of opportunity to get married and he told her, I won't get married. I don't have the means to do it. And she's like, but you train. And he said, yes. But there's a family that took me in and I'm providing for the family that took me in. All of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam's money and this just goes to show the loyalty that he had. His uncle took him in and he kept all the money that he made. He would give it to his uncle because his uncle had 10 children and he was supporting his uncle's family. Subhanallah, such a high level of nobility. And that's the point where he didn't get married because he didn't start his own family because he was still supporting the family that took him in. So I said to him, so she tells him, but what if this woman is rich and doesn't need money? And there's two narrations. One of them, he says, who? Do you mean Khadija? And there's another narration where she says, what about Khadija? So Allah, which one is the truth? He was into the idea in the first place. He's like, oh, what about Khadija? And she said, well, you know, let me go ask her. She knows her friends interested. She sent her, but she didn't want to sell her friends short. So she's like, here, let me go ask her. And she runs back to Khadija. She's like, yeah, yeah, he's into it too. And it's really beautiful. They get married and Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam's 25. There's a difference of opinion whether she was 28 or 40. The Arabs did not care about age. So there's so many points where there's like discussions. We know the age of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. But for the ages of everybody else, nobody really knew or cared. Like he was just not a thing the Arabs cared about. Subhanallah. Anyways, they get married and the person who's like, there's no one in human history whose life is written in more detail than the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Like, we know, like, Allah said, Allah counted how many white hairs was in his beard. We know how many white hairs were in his beard. We know how many white hairs were in his beard. We know how many white hairs was on his head. We know exactly his height. We know everything that he did. Like we just, there's no one in human history whose life was written in more detail than the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Him and Khadijah fall off the face of the earth for 10 years. He has zero public appearances. No one knows what they're doing except that we know that they had children later. We know their children and the people that lived in their house told their own stories later. But in terms of public appearances, they didn't do that. One of the things that's funny because, again, if you're in the Muslim community, you get married and they're like, what, you're just going to fall off the face of the earth now? They fall off the face of the earth for less than 10 years? That's fine. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam did. What you're building is something that is so much more valuable than anything else that you're going to be doing. And this isn't to say you should isolate yourself. You should probably still show up to events. But it's not necessary. What you're building is so important that you investing time in your marriage is important. It's the foundation of everything that we're doing. So the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and Khadija, they end up having four daughters and two boys. Their son Al-Qasim, Allah knows best that some narrations say that he was actually the oldest. And this is why the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was known as Abul Qasim, the father of Al-Qasim. When he was born, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was not too long after he was born. You know how you teach a child how to ride a bike or a tricycle? The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was starting to teach him how to ride a horse. Again, Allah knows best he was probably around four years old when he passed away. You can imagine the pain that they're going through. They lost their first born child. And then their second child was Zaynab R.A. And then they had four daughters. So they had Zaynab R.A. Oh, sorry. I forgot to mention this. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam surrounded the Prophet, peace be upon him. Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam his prayers and blessings be upon him. Any of his companions, we just out of respect we say it, may Allah be pleased with them. So if I say someone's name and I go after that's what the is. So Zaynab Zaynab and then Ruqayah, Um Kursum and Fatima. And then they also taken two other children. So Ali there's a point where his uncle Abul Talib the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam got married and now he has his own family but to help Abul Talib to help his uncle that helped him he went to his other uncles and said, look Abul Talib can't afford to feed his children. We shouldn't be able to go to sleep at night knowing that this man can't feed his children. So they each kind of took on one of the children of Abul Talib just to raise them and to make sure that their needs were met. So Ali R.A. the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and I believe Jafar goes to the house of so again they're trying to help the uncle of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam the other thing that happened, sorry I forgot to mention this when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam marries Khadija the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam tells like he frees Um Aiman and tells her look you really have to go have your own life now she's the most consistent mother they figure in his life and at this point he's telling her look I promise you I'm good and you see the loyalty she had until he started his own family she refused to leave him and now he gets married he's about to start his own family he's telling her he's like look I'm telling you I'm good you should have your own life too and she ends up moving to Medina and marrying a man from Khazraj more about him later because her story is cool anyways the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam he has that many children the other thing so again someone has given the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam a gift of a young Arab slave named Zaid and again the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam raises him in his own house like he's his own son so much so that his uncle his father and his uncle Zaid was kidnapped and he was sold into slavery and his father and his uncle are running and running and running trying to find their son until finally they find him in the house of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and they go to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and they say what do you want just let us have our son back we'll give you his weight in gold and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam says yeah don't give me his weight in gold just ask him if he wants to stay if he wants to go if he wants to go home with you he can just go home you can imagine his father is like what I was willing to pay his weight in gold and you just turned it down and he goes to his son Zaid he's like great news you get to come home and he's like yeah no I think I want to stay father's like are you kidding I'd rather be a servant in this man's house and he tells him I wasn't a servant I was never a servant I was always treated like a son in all of the years that he lived in the house of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam not once told him why'd you do this or why'd you not do this I mean that's better than most parents and this isn't to put down parenting it's just it is the character of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and I just I think it's interesting I'm gonna go on a small tangent for a second slavery was part of a lot of pre-modern societies and the way that Islam dealt with a lot of these things the first thing that it did is when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam actually became the leader of a country the first thing that he did is he closed the doors in which people became enslaved and he went out of his way to do this the second thing that he did is he took all of those people and rehumanized them and he treated them like they were actual human beings and then the third part of it was that he created all these avenues for people to be able to leave slavery part of the problem is we have I don't know living in America we're like we wrote a declaration of slavery ended that was 150 years ago people are still being discriminated against like it didn't end because you wrote some law things don't end that way it's a whole economic structure that needs to be dismantled and you can see how the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is doing this gradually so that slavery doesn't come back and just how he rehumanized people Um Aiman was his mother he introduced her as my mother she refused to leave him until she knew he was okay Zaid Ibn Harith A.S. who was his adopted son he refused to leave him even though technically he was a slave but you can see just the dignity that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam gave people and then the other ones we'll talk about insha'Allah when we get to Maymuna insha'Allah when we get to the later wives of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is everybody with me? good nobody's falling asleep well you were falling asleep you wouldn't say yes Alhamdulillah ah what happened okay Zainab R.A. the daughters of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam are going older the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Zaid is growing up in the house of the Prophet Zainab R.A. so Zainab R.A. had a cousin and his name was Al-Aas Ibn Rabiyah and every time Al-Aas Ibn Rabiyah would go and travel he'd come back and run and tell Zainab everything that he did on his trip and they were really really close to each other like all the time and then finally when Zainab was old enough where she could get married Al-Aas Ibn Rabiyah goes to Khadija R.A. he's like look if Zainab's getting married I'm calling dibs first and what's interesting about this is it was the tradition of the Arabs that the oldest daughter has to marry someone from the father's side of the family and not the mother's side of the family and Al-Aas Ibn Rabiyah was from the mother's side of the family so Al-Aas Ibn Rabiyah officially goes to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam he says look if Zainab can get married I want to marry her and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam says well I'm gonna go ask her he knows his daughter's interested but still he goes and he asks Zainab he tells her is this what you really want he says yes this is what I want and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was not gonna break his daughter's heart over a tradition so Zainab R.A. marries the love of her life, the guy that she grew up with that she loved and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was not gonna stand on the way of his daughter's happiness she gets married and then his his side of the family flips out so Abulahab comes knocking on the door and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is like what did you do the Arabs and what are they gonna say about us and this tradition and blah blah blah blah and he's like well what do you want he's like my two sons should marry your next two daughters so the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is like I'm not gonna make a decision I'm gonna go ask them so he goes and he asks his daughter Ruqayah and Umqudathum and you know how in families there's always the the siblings that are really close to each other so Zainab R.A. was the oldest and she always took care of Fatima so they were really close and then Ruqayah and Umqudathum were like always together I don't want to say this out of adab for them but like me and my sister we were always like twiddle deen twiddle dum like we were always together no matter what happened we were always together so Ruqayah and Umqudathum they were always together and they said sure we get to go live together sure we're down for this so they go and they get married and they marry these two brothers and these two brothers are actually terrible human beings and they live in their house and they live there for only a short period of time because as soon as the Prophet S.A.W. started receiving revelation to retaliate against him his uncle told his two sons to divorce the two daughters of the Prophet S.A.W. just to shame him and you think that's a shame because we have this idea of like divorce is such a taboo they were so happy to be out of there they came home and they're like sweet we get to go home we get to go home to our loving parents to our loving home you guys don't even know what love is this messed up idea of like these traditions and whatever you all want to keep up that's fine we want to go home and they go home to the house with their mother and father S.A.W. later Zaynab Ruqayah ends up marrying Uthman Uthman because again there was someone that was super interested so Uthman Uthman comes running to the Prophet S.A.W. he's like oh considering remarriage at any point can I marry her and again the Prophet S.A.W. says I'm gonna go ask my daughter so he asks her and Ruqayah accepts there's actually poetry written about them because Uthman Uddilan was so aloft and he would doubt on his wife Ruqayah and people actually wrote poetry that if you want to see beauty if you want to see happiness you should go see Ruqayah and her husband Uthman it's just so beautiful Subhanallah and there's just so much love in the house of the Prophet S.A.W. the younger daughter so Uthman Uthman didn't remarry right away she stayed in the house of the Prophet S.A.W. and Uthman Uddilan was really interesting because again we have this idea that if you're single you have to get married we even have like religious backing that we tell you of like it's afternoon you have to do it tomorrow you're like calm down nobody has to get married tomorrow you want to get married get married if you don't want to it's not a requirement that's just not a thing especially if it's if you're going to marry someone that's going to bring you closer to realizing your true potential and bring you closer to Allah than marrying them if this person is going to take away from that don't waste your time we were not put on earth to procreate we were put on earth to serve Allah if marriage is a part of that great if it's not a part of that don't waste your time and if this person is not going to treat you with respect then why bother? SubhanAllah so Fatima Uddilan actually refused to get married she's like I'm going to live in the house of my parents and I'm not going to leave my parents she saw her daughters get married and move away and she's just like nope I'm staying here and she stayed in the house of the Prophet peace and blessings of Allah refused to leave SubhanAllah until she was much older the Prophet peace and blessings of Allah were married for 24 years and they've been through thick and thin together the Prophet s.a.w. started receiving the revelation not too long after the revelation she got pregnant again they had another son they named him in some narrations they called him atlayib in other narrations they called him atlahir either the pure or the righteous and Allah knows best what the name was and it's true of the Arabs that they could give a child multiple names again that child ends up passing away as a toddler it's very very difficult on the two of them there's actually a narration where Khadija r.a. is crying in her house and the Prophet s.a.w. is trying to console her and she told him I still have milk that is there for a child to be fed and my child is gone can imagine the pain that she went through r.a. Abu Lahab the same jerk that had his sons divorce the daughters of the Prophet s.a.w. when he heard the Prophet s.a.w. lost his son he celebrated in his own house and because he was his uncle there's only a wall that separated the house of the Prophet s.a.w. and the house of Abu Lahab they're crying in the house of the Prophet s.a.w. and Abu Lahab the jerk is celebrating in his house saying Muhammad's lineage is going to die out such a terrible human being and this was his uncle like it only hurts that much more and this things didn't stop Khadija and the Prophet s.a.w. only had daughters and to the Arabs daughters are not worth it they don't care your name they're not as valuable as sons and they went around mocking Khadija and mocking the Prophet s.a.w. say their lineage is going to die out they only have daughters which would have been fine if they only just legitimately had daughters but they're actually mourning the loss of their two sons they lost two children in their mourning that loss just hurts that much more and you can see the attacks of the Prophet s.a.w. and Khadija but still it never deterred them Khadija continued to support the Prophet s.a.w. both in terms of money in terms of emotional support in terms of whatever it is she just always supported him because it wasn't his mission alone it was something they always did together probably the most significant point in the life of Khadija the Prophet s.a.w. when he's about 40 years old they've been married 15 years and he would do this he started towards the end right before the revelation came he started to have these true dreams so he'd have a dream and he'd wake up the next morning and unfold exactly how it did in his dream and this kept happening to him and this was Allah preparing him for the beginning of the revelation and when this thing kept happening and he kept reflecting on his own life reflecting on his society reflecting on why these dreams are happening he went out to a cave has anyone ever been to Mecca or Medina? who is this guy? how did he run up the cave? no? it's a pretty steep hike it's like an hour upwards in the sun unless if you run marathons then it's 20 minutes and whoever tells you it's 20 minutes that's not true it's because they run marathons because we took a group and I was, yeah it took me an hour he's climbing up a mountain and he would sit there and he would go and he would sit there and he would think and you do this for extended periods of time like he'd pack a lunch and he'd go and not a lunch he'd pack enough food for a few days he'd go and he would sit there what's interesting about Ghad Harat is you can actually see the Ka'bah from there it's a really tight cave it only fits about like a person and a half and he would sit there for extended periods of time and when he came he stayed too long and she knew he ran out of food she would pack food and then she would take it up to him so she knew exactly where he was she'd pack him food and she supported him in his mission of just trying to find out what's going on trying to find himself and it's a very specific act of worship so we usually call it meditation the Arabs used to call it Dahanuth whereas it was specific to people that only believed in one God because they were contemplating God SubhanAllah the Prophet ﷺ one of those nights he's in the cave by himself and this man dressed in impeccable white which again the reason that's significant is because if you climb up a mountain by the end of the mountain your clothes are not still white he has impeccably white clothes and he climbs up and he goes in and he sees the Prophet ﷺ and he tells him read when the Prophet ﷺ is looking at this man he's like I don't read and of course we know it was the Angel Jibril and he holds the Prophet ﷺ and he holds him really really really tightly and he lets him go and the Prophet ﷺ is still baffled by this man he's like I don't read and this man again holds the Prophet ﷺ really really tightly and he tells him read and he lets him go and the Prophet ﷺ the second time he told him I don't read the third time he held him and let him go he told him what do you want me to read what are you talking about because read actually has multiple ways like the Arabic word doesn't necessarily just mean read from the page it also means to recite so finally the third time the Prophet ﷺ is realizing maybe he means read in a different form and he tells him what do you want me to read what do you want me to recite and this is the beginning of the revelation the first six ayat of the Qur'an are revealed he says read in the name of your Lord who created created man from a single clot read in your Lord is the most generous the one who taught by the the pen taught man what he didn't know and man here is humankind what they didn't know Prophet ﷺ is in a panic he's like what just happened like who was this guy he runs home to khadija radiolana he's terrified he's shivering and he goes to khadija radiolana and he says cover me cover me so he goes to khadija radiolana she covers him she waits until he calms down she's like what just happened and mind you I love my husband if my husband ever came home and said I was in a cave and this dude he came and he hugged me and this is what happened and there was an angel and he blocked the horizon and tells me this fictitious story I'm just gonna sit there I'm like I love you we're gonna go see a doctor in the morning like what what was that khadija radiolana had so much certainty in the Prophet ﷺ I don't know how she knew this that she told him she says no I swear by Allah that he would never forsake you and she starts listing his good character she says you lift the downtrod you're generous to your guests you help those that are in need you go in the path of everything that is good Allah would never forsake someone like you and the beauty of that is that she saw him for who he was before he was even in the Prophet like it's really easy after someone's like taken over the world be like yeah you know I'm down for that he was still struggling and she saw him for who he was long before anyone else did and this is why khadija is who she was she is the very first believer period there's differences of opinion later who then later joined Islam there's no difference of opinion that she was the very first believer period everyone agrees to it SubhanAllah when you think of Islam the story of Islam could not be told without the story of khadija the lana she put in blood sweat and tears they started calling out to other people for the first three years they made the he started publicly preaching in the third year the persecution started not too long after she watched him through his good his bad all the difficulties sixth year since the beginning of the revelation they actually took it a step further boycotting you the Muslims went hungry didn't have food SubhanAllah she was rich enough that if she had left the group she could have made it but she refused to leave the group and leave her husband she stayed there and by the end of it it had worn her body out so much by the tenth year she passed away at all the lana the weight of her passing was so heavy he was actually called the year of sorrow so she passed away and the uncle of the prophet the one that raised him also passed away in that same year he was called the year of sorrow because of the passing of khadija the lana remember Abu Lahab the jerk that that jerk yeah when he saw how distraught the prophet was after the passing of khadija he said I'm never going to hurt him again he saw just the level of pain he's a jerk he went back started fighting the prophet again but even he was so moved by the passing of khadija the lana he just saw the state the prophet was in I feel like I'm losing everyone no? keep going I don't know is there a sign of life somewhere does anyone have good job do you have any reflections on khadija? yes absolutely so one of the there were a few narrations forgive me I kind of started off saying this was a huge task and we're never going to finish but one of them there was the incident that happened during the trip where he first went they first started working together that man that came and told the women of ben itamim there's a prophet that's coming one of you should marry him all of the narrations from her cousin waraqa and there's actually one last one there's one narration about before she sent her friend to go propose to the prophet and she actually told her I feel in my heart that he might actually be the prophet at the end of time and again there's a reason why khadija is who she is the weight that she had that she saw him for who he was how could someone be known as the honest and trustworthy in the society that they're living in khadija is truly incredible they were married for 24 years the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never married anyone else during the time even though it was the culture and the tradition of the Arabs to take multiple lives he never took another wife as long as he was married to khadija you had a question just to follow up on that, is there any indication as to whether or not khadija saw that as a trap coming as being a prophet was that something she found as like okay this is their responsibility I'm going to have to take as his potential spells like oh hey you know prophet well adam I don't know she never hesitated to support him so clearly she'd internalized this mission on her own she was on board I mean she already believed that there was only one god the idea of serving that one god was not alien to her at all so meeting someone that had the potential of being like someone else that also believed in one god someone else that had good character and had the potential of being that prophet subhanAllah she didn't hesitate once if anything she gave him strength anytime because when you're he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and he can feel the weight of it even the Quran tells him we're going to give you a heavy weight and the way that he would Allah swt consoled him was that he would pray during the night and he would run the khadija she was his home she was his reconciliation to everything that was difficult every time something difficult would happen he'd run to her I mean clearly it was their mission that they had together actually interesting thing so the prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam taught the prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam how to pray the first person he taught was khadija and there were so many narrations the first three years the prophet peace be upon him would be seen praying with a woman like they were there right together from day one even before day one before any of this stuff happened they were together the other thing that's interesting is we don't actually have any recorded disputes that happened between the prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam and khadija like they were just so in line with each other she was clearly the love of his life and this isn't to put down any of the other mothers and the believers but there's I mean there's recorded disagreements that he had with have sallallahu alayhi sallam and they had arguments as any marriages do he just never had one of the khadija that will be on her Subhanallah just a minute ago you said your friend that went to Nusaybo oh my bad it was Nafisa not Nusaybo I apologize no no last question and then we can go ahead I don't know a lot about we don't know a lot about them we know that her father was she was mostly raised by her mother her father was he actually got a little too drunk at their wedding that the next morning that they're like he's like who's this guy and they're like yeah he married your daughter last night her father was a very absent father she was mostly raised by her mother and she was very close to her sister she had a lot of very strong women Subhanallah but on that note of women going to the prophet I said I'm saying hey what about so and so maybe you should get married there was another woman by the name of Khaldad al-Diladha which and the reason I bring this up like how people get married there's so many stories of how people get married it's a different story every time but we just I don't know a lot of the times people get married through friends if someone's suggesting something and they genuinely care about you there's no written rules of how you should get married and you can see we'll see insha'Allah when we get to the other mothers and the believers they each had a different story but in this case there was another woman that went to the prophet's life and said and she says you know I feel like you're really distraught after the passing of Khaldad al-Diladha and I want to look at what's it called she told him I can feel I see that you're feeling this huge sense of loss after the passing of Khaldad al-Diladha and the prophet's life is clearly still very distraught he tells her yes and then she said of course she was the mother of my children and she was the queen of this house of course I miss her and I just it's interesting because again we're talking about this idea of a perfect family at this point the prophet's life is a single father he has two daughters at home he has two daughters that are married living elsewhere but he has two daughters at home Ali al-Diladha is still living with him there's just so much that's happening in his house it's not we look at single fathers and be like is he ever going to find someone why not the prophet's life was a single father and Khaldad al-Diladha was a single mother like she had two children from previous marriages we forget that he was her third husband and for anyone that is just like oh I'll never marry a woman that was married before in the prophet's life her third husband didn't take away from their marriage at all SubhanAllah this woman goes to the prophet's life and she tells him like you miss Khadija and she said yes and she kind of suggests he get married again and he felt so she said I saw the pain in his face I saw the tears well up in his eyes and she said I wished I hadn't said anything and he looks at her and he says woman Baad Khadija and she said in that moment I just regretted it but at the same time he asked her he's like no really who do you mean and she's telling him like who's going to be for your house who's going to raise your children who's going to help you out and he's just in so much pain he's like who do you actually mean who do you have in mind because clearly she was there ready to suggest people so she goes and she tells him I have two suggestions one of them is Saudam al-Tizamah and it's significant why she mentions Saudam al-Tizamah Saudam al-Tizamah is the son of Abu Bakr daughter of Abu Bakr grammar is not my thing and like whatever thank you guys Alhamdulillah Saudam al-Tizamah we talked about how Khadija was there from the beginning his best friend Abu Bakr al-Tizamah was there from the beginning they should follow the prophet so there's a narration where the prophet said every time he proposed Islam to someone they all hesitated the only one that didn't was Abu Bakr al-Tizamah he's like when do I start which way do I go you say jump we say how high it's like how high where do we go out of the ten that were promised five of them were actually brought to Islam by Abu Bakr al-Tizamah about ten people at the time of the prophet they were promised Jannah like the first day the prophet said the revelation of Abu Bakr al-Tizamah is just out on a mission so the reason she suggests the daughter of Abu Bakr al-Tizamah is because she knows that he's still part of that initial tight knit group and this is why she's suggesting al-Tizamah actually in one of the narrations he tells her she's still kind of young but she doesn't know about this she tells him you have to marry her now it's just an idea propose you don't have to get married which is another thing that's interesting I don't know I work with college students and every so often someone will come to my office she'll be like there's a boy and he likes me I'm like okay one do you like him back first question two just because you're talking to someone doesn't mean you have to get married tomorrow second one is Sauda al-Tizamah we're going to talk about Sauda al-Tizamah first how much time do I have okay we have to go a little faster so Sayyid al Sauda al-Tizamah she's really interesting so the beginning when Islam first started there were families that became Muslim together so Sauda al-Tizamah and her family all became Muslim together and her and her husband and they actually were part of the group that first migrated to Habisha and I something that I talked to Ahmed about this right before earlier there are very little descriptions of what they actually looked like Sauda's name means the one who has black skin I don't know if she was black in terms of her lineage she had Arab fathers but Allah Alam they were intermixed enough also the Arabs are really descriptive with things and I don't think they would call her Sauda unless if she actually had darker skin a lot of anyway so she Sayyid al Sauda al-Tizamah her and her husband actually went to Habisha they migrated to Abyssinia when the persecution started and there are just so many people that were under this persecution they left and they migrated to Habisha and there was a point where they were actually on their way back and on their way back she had a dream that there was a full moon and then the full moon went out she woke up from the dream kind of weirded out by it so she told her husband and her husband told her I had he told her I have this feeling I don't think I he told her I have this feeling I don't think I'm going to live for very long and her husband actually ended up passing away on the journey back so she's coming back into Mecca she was one of the early believers she's been like again they were running away from persecution they migrated to a different city to seek protection and now she's coming on her way back to the place she ran away from except her husband's passed away and she's there on her own so you can imagine the pain that she is going through and this is part of the reason that Sayed Ha'udah actually suggested her she said look she's in her family she's really really struggled and she's a good person she can help you out so the prophet says okay go talk to Sayed As-Sauda so she goes and talks to Sayed As-Sauda she's like completely blown away she's like are you serious the prophet says he wants to marry me she says I want to but you have to go ask my dad she's really funny for an older woman to say go ask my dad and her dad was still alive and out of respect for her father so Sayed Ha'udah goes to her father and she says the prophet's proposing to your daughter and her father's not even Muslim he's like but he's a good dude he's a good man what is your friend thing well then I accept too and the prophet says Sayed As-Sauda and what's interesting because again there's like we talk about them like they're like superhuman they're very much human Khadija Radulan who was well known in Mecca as this woman of like great status, great beauty, great wealth she passes away in the prophet and always in every society people compare women and be like really she passed away and married her imagine how painful that was for Sayed As-Sauda but that didn't deter her from trying to console the prophet's life and there's actually one narration that she was heavier set so she would intentionally walk in front of the prophet's life and walk like a penguin just to make him laugh she helped with his children she just she was just happy to be part of another family and there isn't a greater family than the prophet's life and you can see just throughout her life she was just the caring mother even though that wasn't her original family all she did was just mother and care and nurture for everyone else SubhanAllah and the prophet's life was only married to her until they went they actually migrated and then after the migration he married her but I just think it's so beautiful that again the prophet's life she was the only one that was besides Khadija she was the only one that was married to the prophet's life after her old and she was married to him for a couple of years before the migration, SubhanAllah so it was about three years anyways so that was the story of Saudat al-Dulana the story of Asha al-Dulana so around the same time that the prophet's life sent him proposes to Sauda Khadija al-Dulana also goes and proposes to Asha so she goes and she goes to her mom and she's like great news prophet's life sent him agreed to officially propose to your daughter we've already been talking to someone else and we don't break our oaths SubhanAllah it's just what's so stunning to me is that clearly this is the better option but yet it goes to show their character as a family of like no we gave our word, our word doesn't just go to nothing and she was actually engaged to the son of al-Mut'im al-Adiyy and what's interesting about al-Mut'im al-Adiyy he was actually someone of who never became Muslim but he very consistently protected the Muslims from persecution and it was something that the Muslims always thanked him for SubhanAllah and it just goes to show his character but even though he wasn't following the religion he didn't feel like that deterred him in any way shape or form from protecting religious minority and protecting people from believing whatever they wanted to believe SubhanAllah so he is engaged to the daughter of Abu Bakr and he knows that Abu Bakr al-Dulana he knows he's on this mission so Abu Bakr he says look I can't just break a word I'm going to go back and talk to him so he goes back and he talks to him and the microphone's out back on he goes and he talks to him and he tells him so what do you think and al-Mut'im al-Adiyy's wife is like are you still following that man Muhammad so I said him and he's like yep totally still following him like totally like hardcore in because he doesn't want to be the one to say no but he doesn't want it to work out he wants his daughter to work out with someone else so he tells him he's like man this is way too much for us he's like yeah it could be too much and they're like alright fine we're breaking off the engagement and they break off the engagement Abu Bakr al-Dulana like comes home running he's like we're done we're done with the first engagement I think it's interesting to mention because al-Dulana is the one where people are consistently saying like oh she was really young and they very consistently use her age against her there's two problems with this one clearly she was engaged before this wasn't something that was out of the norm for the Arabs at all the Arabs of his time fought the prophet as I said him tooth and nail nobody ever held it against him nobody thought it was a thing it was very normal for their culture that's one and two the problem of doing that is that you're taking away her voice the prophet as I said him he passed away and for years she did nothing but continue to protect and deliver his message so for us to look at her and be like yeah no this poor oppressed woman really did you listen to her any time someone's like oh women in Islam are oppressed I'm like seriously have you heard of al-Dulana she was the scholar of the most religious community in Islamic history and she would go around correcting the Sahaba she'd go around telling him like no no you didn't do this right no no she was the most knowledgeable out of anyone else in that society and they all respected her and gave her her respect and it never occurred to her as a woman that she wasn't supposed to speak her opinion Subhanallah I just yeah you can't in the name of women's rights ignore the voice of the one woman at the center al-Dulana Sayyidah al-Dulana she is a character so after this the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam actually has dreams where Jibriya al-Aislam brings him this silk cloth and in that silk cloth is the image of al-Dulana and he tells him she is going to be your wife both in this life and the next life al-Dulana is so amazing that she makes a point to narrate that herself and that's what I'm saying about who she was and just the idea that she shouldn't speak her mind never even occurs to her al-Dulana she marries the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam she was much younger and yes that is a power dynamic but there isn't a power dynamic than being married to the prophet of a people forget a king kings can be loved they can also be feared and can also be hated prophets necessitate the fact that people are willing to bet their lives on him and they do so if you're at the center of this and you're married to that man can you imagine the first disagreement you have with him the junk people are going to say about you and it's subhanAllah is so amazing they did have disagreements she was very young and every time they had a disagreement he would come to her defense so there is a point where they have this disagreement and he's like look how do you want to settle this so he tells her look let's go to Amman he's a just man he's like nope he's one of your guys we're not going to Amman pick someone else he's like do you want to go to Abu Bakr he's literally her father so he says okay they're going to go to Abu Bakr they had a disagreement they're arguing about it and he tells his side of the story sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to Abu Bakr and she gets frustrated halfway through and she's like that's not what happened and Abu Bakr is like did you just call the messenger that he's not telling the truth he like loses it and he's about to lose it on his daughter and the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he stands between him and his daughter and says calm down you're here to mediate you're not supposed to take sides what are you doing you can't just take my side you can't even hurt her side yet like there isn't a more intense power dynamic than that and yet there's so many points where she just he treated her like she was his equal they would ask her sallallahu alayhi wa sallam how is the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam peace be upon him at home he says oh you know he does normal stuff at home he fixes this he puts that he cleans this he sees whoever a servant is cleaning up he helps him out normal stuff so stunning to me how can she be saying this about him and there's so many points where they would have war secrets anyone besides Aisha al-Ghalana with the war secret there is actually a point where her father goes to her and he's like so are you going to tell me what's going on she's like nope told me not to tell not telling you Subhanallah there's so many points in the life of Aisha al-Ghalana there's I don't want to make sure I give time to everyone else but this is a really cool story so right after the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam there's an event that's happening in the masjid and there's a group of Ahbash and they do this thing where they have a dance with spears and they're like I don't know it's a dance and they're doing this in the middle of the masjid and the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam so she can't see she's still young she's shorter and the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam tells her can you see and she's like no I can't see so he helps her get up and what she does is she sticks her cheek next to the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and she just sits there and the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is like okay we've been watching this a while you done she's like nope and then just sit here and she was very intentionally doing it so everyone can see her with the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam on their own like she just, she was a woman this is what she did Subhanallah there are other points, there was another narration that was interesting there was a point where Hafzal al-Adha someone else made food and everyone's enjoying this food and she's watching this she's starting to get really jealous so she knocks over the plate the plate falls all the food dumps on the floor and everyone watches this like you can imagine there's like this feast and you just knocked over the table with all the food on it and everyone knows you did it on purpose and everyone stops and looks at you and she's kind of just standing there and the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam just goes stands between them and her and she says it's okay she just got jealous it's okay and she's like you know your plate her plate broke give her yours you broke her plate we all know you did this on purpose so just give her back her plate we'll be fine and it's fine Subhanallah there was another point where her and the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam started racing and they went on this race and she won the first time and then a couple of years later she put on more weight and they raced and he won and she's like well I won last time because she just it's just who she was she never just like she never stopped challenging him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as part of what he loved about her there was a point where he actually got angry at his wives and he's like that's it I'm leaving and he leaves and he says I'm going to be gone for a month and he comes back 29 days later and she's like you said a month and he tells her he's like well the Arab month can be 29 or 30 days it's okay and she's like okay it's just who she was she always asked him questions there was no one that asked more questions and we have this image of like the perfect woman sits in a corner is quiet oh my god and that's why she was a scholar Subhanallah what else what else so the fifth year they were coming back there were so many different narrations that actually happened because of oh this is funny so they were on a journey they were coming back from a battle and she had borrowed a necklace from say the S. Matt her sister and then she forgot the necklace and then she couldn't find the necklace and then she made the army stop until she found the necklace she's like I have to give back the necklace and the army whole army of people ended up being delayed for her looking for her necklace so much so that they ran out of water and the next prayer was coming in and they didn't have enough water to make the next prayer because they have to do a do you have to wash before prayer and then people are starting to get really really angry at her you're holding up an entire army of people for a necklace like what are you doing and Subhanallah ended up happening because the verses were revealed that if you run out of water you can do Tayyama you can purify yourself with the earth verses were revealed from the sky from the heavens from Allah swt to the end of time because I was looking for a necklace Subhanallah we think these things are so trivial I mean she again she was who she was there was another battle she was really light so the mothers of the believers almost every time there was a battle the prophecy I said and treated everyone equally so they would just pick out of a hat or whatever it was whatever the version of that was to see whose turn it was to come so she was on this battle and she had something called the heldage which is like a little tent kind of thing that they put on top of the camels so she was in her heldage and then she went to use the bathroom and she was so light they didn't tell the difference whether she was in it or not so they put the empty heldage on top of the camel and they left so she's like okay now what do I do she ends up sitting there and waiting and she knows that there's a scout that comes out behind the army and tries to figure out if someone dropped anything or whatever it was so she figures look someone will realize that I'm gone and they'll come back for me so she kind of just sat there she sat next to a rock for a while and she got tired she fell asleep and she woke up the scout had come and he kept saying Samaric really loud until finally she woke up and she heard him so then he woke her up and he recognized who she was and she herself says that this was before Hijab like she didn't always wear Hijab the mothers of the believers used to actually also cover their face so he recognized her because she'd fallen asleep and her face cover wasn't there but he knew her from before so he kept saying salams he knew who she was so she woke up he put her on his horse and he took her back into Medina and he said to her there are people that are out to get you so they're coming back into Medina it's a completely innocent interaction but there were people that hated the prophets I said them and saw them together and said hmm I wonder what they were doing together and it's interesting because we saying something scandalous about someone you don't actually have to go out right accuse someone of something terrible to sully their reputation so they started this rumor and she came back from that trip and she actually got really sick so she was sick for about a month and she didn't find out any of this stuff was happening until the last three days so after like the last three days of this month all this stuff has been going on and the story kept spreading and spreading and it kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger we're the same people that were out to get the prophets I said to them they're like you know we saw him go into the house so the prophet peace be upon him when he wasn't there actually specifically accusing someone of something but you're just propagating this rumor and this rumor kept spreading and spreading and spreading and the reason this is significant if someone like Hashel of the line can't defend herself against scandalous rumors really none of us have a chance this is why you're not allowed to accuse someone of something and it's interesting because there's points where her father they asked him what if you actually saw two people actually committing adultery he said you know what I would do I would cover them so no one else could see we don't go out of our way to either expose people or to accuse them of things even if you know someone's doing something wrong give them the space to repent we are never going to go on a witch hunt we shouldn't go on a witch hunt anyone that goes on a witch hunt in the name of religion you're doing it wrong what benefit do you get of someone else's sin being exposed that's if they committed the sin so what if they even didn't even commit the sin and you're accusing them it's funny I did this with my Sunday school girls so I went and I'm like oh guys this happened but I can't tell you and they're like what and I'm like there's this imam and they're like oh no and I'm like yeah his wife someone saw her in the car with someone else and they're like well who was it and I'm like I don't know some dude and they're like and then what and I'm like and I used all of the same rumors and they saw this guy go to their house and when the imam wasn't there and they're like oh my god the point where I had to end it was they were like googling imam scandal and I'm like calm down that they're all the same stories and when you hear it out of context we're all sitting because we've all heard this we've all heard this said about someone you're like hmm that person that brother this sister don't trust them we've heard this we've heard that we don't go around selling people's reputations the one and only except not the one and only the really few exceptions to that is if someone's actually going into business with someone if they have a reputation of being a thief tell the person they're going into business with you don't spread you don't spread it to everyone else you tell the person because they're going into business with them the same thing with marriage if someone's getting married and you're like this person has a reputation of not being faithful I'm not going to tell the whole world I'm just going to tell you because it directly affects you so I don't know almost every time Donald Trump got married someone should have told his wife this is his reputation almost every single time he was starting a business with someone and be like he has a bad reputation of not paying people and that's an extreme example but really that's the point where you start protecting people you can't say I'm going to go tell the whole world your sin because I'm protecting other people no you're not, you're just exposing a scandal if someone's getting married or going into business and that's the point where you're actually supposed to tell the truth makes sense well again verses were revealed Sa'a Ash'ala Lillallah the prophet SAW is like seeing all this stuff and he's struggling to defend his wife because what's he going to say don't talk about it he was never a dictator in that society he was never the person that's like no that's it we're not allowed to talk about it that wasn't him and he's really struggling to defend his wife he's like what am I supposed to do so he goes and he consults with his people he's like what do I do so he goes to Allah and he tells him what do I do he tells him well who married you off to her he said Allah and he's like do you really think Allah would give you a bad deal he's like no but why are you telling me no tell everybody else Allah so he started a counter campaign of like this is who she actually is and because this accusation is significant there was an investigation where they went and said if this man was going into the house of the prophet SAW someone would have saw the houses of all of the mothers of the believers we think like it's huge they didn't have houses like ours their houses are walk-in closets not in New York that's actually New York apartment but for us here there's really small space and they're right next to each other like they shared walls did anyone see this man going to their house where are all the character witnesses there wasn't a single witness to anything that was wrong and the prophet SAW tells people he's like look there isn't a single witness to these rumors these rumors have no basis and in the midst of all of this she's so frustrated because again she's a woman she doesn't care that yes her husband's the leader she just wants her husband to go be like how dare you lie about my wife so she asks him can I go stay in the house of my parents and she goes to the house of her parents and she tells her mother she's like did you hear this junk she tells her it's okay you're young you're beautiful people get jealous she's trying to calm her daughter she goes to her father and her father is in tears he's like before we believed in Islam no one accused us of junk like this now we're being accused he's hurt by his own community he's like what just happened to us there's no I can't go on this tangent I'm going to focus on that she loves the vlog what ends up happening is the prophet SAW comes to her family's house and he tells her something and he tells her look if you want to say something say something and she gets really angry at him she tells him if I tell you I did it everyone would readily believe me but if I tell you I didn't do it everyone would pretend to believe me but still have an ounce of doubt I actually don't have any way to completely defend myself and while he's in that house of Allah SAW there's verses that are revealed that actually exonerate her again verses are revealed from the creator of the heavens and the earth to the end of time to exonerate Aishat al-Tawana and she herself like she's saying like verses are revealed and her parents are like go run go to your husband she's like no he's not the one that exonerated me he was Allah I'm going to go pray to Allah and then come back and talk to him so she goes and she thanks Allah and then she comes back to her husband SAW he was her third husband SAW he was her second the prophet SAW was her second husband for Aisha and only Aisha he was her one and only love everyone remembers their first crush everyone remembers their first everything he was her first he wasn't just her first he was her everything he was the only love that she ever had in her life so I said I can see why she was who she was why she was so protective of him there was a point where he went to do something and she ran after him he's like you know I'm just running an errand like what are you doing he's trying to calm her down and she tells him how could someone like me not be jealous over someone like you you could see how much love she had for him SAW I don't want to talk about she's a very significant end of the life of the prophet SAW we have 10 minutes left can someone like wave at me thanks oh shoot sorry there's just really we went through three okay so the third year of the hijra is actually a really difficult time so after the migration we think of Medina as this like magic land the first two years they're actually sleeping with their weapons on them because there were raids that Mecca would send at night so every night they would go to sleep with their weapons and they would sleep with one eye open this was not some I don't know it wasn't some like magic time where you were just like floating on a carpet and you didn't have any problems they were really really difficult times the second year of the hijra was the battle of Batra and it was a huge decisive battle and the Muslims ended up winning that battle and then a year later there was the battle of um sorry that's ahad thank you so the battle of ahad was in the third year of the hijra it was such a stunning defeat to the Muslims they lost 7% of their army in a day there were a thousand men that went out to this battle from Medina 70 of them were killed there were groomers of the prophet peace be upon him himself was killed they didn't end up being true but there was just so much chaos that was happening and after the battle there was these children that would run out to the battlefield they call out their fathers names and they kept calling and calling and calling and their fathers wouldn't answer and the children would just sit there and cry because they knew that it meant their fathers were killed and the prophet peace be upon him said he would scoop up these children he'd lift them up and he'd tell them I'm your father now and he tried everything he could to protect these children that had lost their fathers and again when you imagine the weight of it he knows they died fighting for him fighting for his message the weight of that he knew that they died because they believed in him he's lifting up these children and one of the things that he did and this is again the tradition of the Arabs that he started marrying widows he didn't marry anyone else up until that point but the first person that he married afterwards was actually Hafsadullah Anha so she was the daughter of Amr after her husband is killed Amr is going on this mission of like I need to find my daughter another husband because he's Amr like he doesn't wait for things to happen it's just who he is so he goes out he's trying to find a husband for his daughter and he's like there's nobody better than Abu Bakr okay Abu Bakr you're marrying my daughter Hafsad and Abu Bakr will go down just go quiet and he gets really angry at him he's like what do you mean you don't want to marry a daughter Hafsad he didn't even get him a chance to speak Abu Bakr will go down didn't want to say anything he just walked away so he's like man what's wrong with this what's wrong with this and he's like can you believe Abu Bakr man that guy okay you're going to marry my daughter Hafsad and at that point and he goes quiet he's like what is wrong with you guys what are you doing and he just very gently quietly tells him go talk to the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam so he goes and he talks to the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam and what he tells him he's like what had actually happened is the daughter of the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam passed away right after badd in the second year of the hijrah and the man had proposed to his other daughter Umqutul and he told him yes that's a good match and I think I would be a good match for Hafsad because she also lost her husband so they can't tell him oh it's because the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam himself wants to marry your daughter Hafsad I can't expose the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam secret but I'm not going to so I can't say yes but I can't say no and I'm just left in a really weird position because Umqutul is on the bad side Umqutul was a wrestler before Islam Umqutul was a huge man he was terrifying like I don't know if Mike Tyson says hey jump I would jump because it's Mike Tyson I am terrified of him Umqutul was a terrifying man and lots of people were scared of him until finding out the man's like look just go talk to the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam so he talks to the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam and he tells him it's because I want to propose to Hafsad and you can imagine the elation that Umqutul Lan is going through he's like oh yes yes that's a good match there is no better human being than the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam again Hafsad al-Dul-Lan we think of people that are like Hafsad al-Dul-Lan was a really tough cookie and you have to be a tough cookie to grow up in the house of Umqutul Lan so her and her brother Abdullah bin Umqutul were actually also both they were both literate and they were scholars of their time so after the passing of the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam during the time of Abu Bakr they wrote down the Quran it was the first original manuscript completely compiled start to finish of the Quran and this happened the year after the passing of the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam after the passing of Abu Bakr al-Dul-Lan it went to the house of Umqutul Lan and after the passing of Umqutul Lan it sat in the house of Hafsad the original manuscript of the Quran sat in her house al-Dul-Lan SubhanAllah say the Hafsad al-Dul-Lan there were so many points and again she was one of those people that the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam would say something and she would challenge him and she so consistently challenged him so much so that her mother started challenging Um'a and you can imagine the first time Um'a al-Dul-Lan his wife never challenged him ever in his life and now she's challenging what just happened like just out of a lack of precedent he's like what just happened she says what you're thinking you're better than the prophet your daughter challenges the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam he's like she does what he freaks out he runs to his daughter Hafsad he's like what are you doing and she says yeah we all challenge him we all talk like it's a conversation back and forth we all do this there's no like I said and that's the end of it that's just what it is don't compare yourself to Aisha her father is better than your father she herself is better than you like she's just Aisha just don't mess with her don't compare yourself to her and she's like no this isn't just me we all do this and he's blown away by and he runs to the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam he's like what's going on what's really interesting the point where the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam left that month that he was gone Um'a al-Dul-Lan it goes to him and the woman wouldn't talk back to us and now we're in Medina and we can't get a word in edgewise Prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam started to laugh Medina was just a fundamentally different place here's a narration much much later in the life of Um'a al-Dul-Lan this man his wife was like giving him such a hard time he went to complain to Um'a he's like I don't know what to do man he goes to Um'a and as he's getting closer to Um'a he goes to Um'a's house he can hear Um'a's wife yelling at him so he leaves he hears that and he's like nope he just starts walking back so Um'a al-Dul-Lan sees him and he's like what do you need and he's like ah no nothing I'm good he's like no what do you want and he tells him he's like I was here to complain about my wife your wife was yelling at you and he tells him look I did something that frustrated her also do you know how much she does for me she does this and she does that and he starts listing everything that his wife does for him it's like so what if she lost her temper it's fine go home to your wife and the man goes home to his wife SubhanAllah I just think it's really funny because these are just normal day to day interactions and we think of them as like beyond being human they had disagreements SubhanAllah how much time do I have okay okay next person was Syeda Zaynab again she was just a no shoot bad time to have a tangent the women of Medina it was not part of their culture polygamy was not part of their culture so the Prophet SAW never married a woman in Medina because if it's disrespectful in your culture he just wouldn't do it he only married women from Mecca one because they had migrated because they'd left their families behind a much larger group of women than there were of men and it was culturally acceptable for them he would never insult anyone so Zaynab again her husband passed away in the third year of the hijra her husband passed away and the Prophet SAW married her that same year so in that same year the Prophet SAW actually ended up marrying three widows and Zaynab was one of them so we actually know very little about Zaynab she ended up passing away a couple of months or a year after the Prophet SAW married her the fact that we don't know anything about her doesn't in any way shape or form take away from her status of being one of the mothers of the believers if we make it our mission to do nothing but to meet her in Jannah that's a worthwhile mission we have this idea that if like you cooked some fabulous meal but it didn't end up on Instagram did it really happen? yes it really happened we don't have to know the details of everything Zaynab RA the next one was Um Salama again her and her husband were some of the earliest Muslims her actual name is Hindah Binta Abi Umayah the Prophet SAW married her in the fourth year of the hijra her husband Abu Salama was one of the earliest Muslims and he was actually related to the Prophet SAW and again she was a single mother she had two children she had two children Zaynab and Salama hence the name Um Salama and Abu Salama Abu Salama was the older son her daughter Zaynab actually also became a scholar in her own right Um Salama was a scholar and Zaynab was a scholar when Abu Salama when Abu Salama passed away this is really one of my favorite da'as and it had a huge impact in my own life when Abu Salama passed away she went and she was just completely distraught and the Prophet SAW told her say this da'a the translation of it is Ya Allah protect me in this calamity and give me something that's better she was a complete believer so she said the da'a and then she sat there and thought about it she's like who's better than Abu Salama she goes to the Prophet SAW he was one of the very first Muslims he did this, he did that he did this, he did that she's like listing everything great about her husband and the Prophet SAW says well you know I am a prophet and that was his proposal to her and she's just like listen you're great I get really jealous I have children, I'm old I have a list of reasons why you should not marry me what are you doing also you're the leader of this community like this is a huge responsibility and the Prophet SAW tells Um Salama he's like it's okay, as for your children they sound like they were my own as for your jealousy I will make da'a that will help you with it also, I don't care how old you are do you know how old I am Subhanallah Prophet SAW married Um Salama and shoot, I'm going to skip to the next person and come back to her Zaynah bint Jashal radiullah anha okay guys we're not going to make it Zaynah bint Jashal radiullah anha if you want to have the definition of a controversial marriage it's her so Zaynah bint Jashal radiullah anha was a philanthropist, she was a businesswoman she had a lot of her own wealth which never scared the Prophet SAW she was just very very generous with her money so much so that she was known as Um Masaqi in the mother of the poor I have this image in my head of women that go to these gallows and raise thousands of dollars for causes that wear these pearl necklaces that's what I picture when I picture Zaynah bint Jashal radiullah anha and she was originally married to Zaynah bint Haditha the adopted son of the Prophet SAW who later wasn't his adopted son they called him the love of the Prophet SAW instead of the son of the Prophet SAW she was married to him and it didn't work out because you can be to good people and just not fit it didn't fit they ended up getting divorced and then there was Quran that was revealed saying the Prophet SAW should marry her he had in the jahliyah before Islam announced that Zaynah was his son and you're not allowed to marry the wife of your son and even though Islam said that he wasn't technically his son and that's not a thing anymore that didn't stop people from making it a controversy and Zaynah bint Allah she go to the other mothers and the believer she's like yeah the Quran was revealed telling the Prophet SAW to marry me Allah decided my marriage take that Allah just because you have a controversial marriage doesn't mean it's not going to work out just because other people don't approve doesn't mean it shouldn't work out SubhanAllah Zaynah Juwadi and again this was one of the past that the Prophet SAW took to free people from slavery so there was a point and there was a battle and she was the daughter of the chief of the tribe she goes so she's now captured she's a prisoner of war and she's like what am I supposed to do so she decides you know what I'm going to negotiate my way out of this so she goes to the house of the Prophet SAW she sees Aisha and she tells her look my dad is the chief of the tribe I need to talk to the Prophet SAW and the Prophet SAW says I saw this beautiful woman coming to talk to the Prophet he said nope you don't need to talk to him at all and she just stood in her way and she wouldn't let her until finally the Prophet SAW was like look who's at the door just let them in so this woman comes in and the Prophet SAW says okay would you accept if I married you so the Prophet SAW married her and then went to everyone in Medina and said these people are now my family how about we free them and not keep them in captivity how about they not be prisoners of war her entire tribe was freed because of her marriage to the Prophet SAW Aisha told the Allah he said I've never seen anyone bring more good to their people than this woman I enjoyed her I'm not going to get to everybody there was Sayyidah Safiyyah who was originally Jewish and she would be converted to Islam and married the Prophet SAW and the last one is Maybuna the Prophet SAW married her during Amr al-Qadah which was the 7th year of the Hijrah the reason this is significant two minutes Bismillah this is actually a good wrap up so the reason we know how to make us so after after a woman finishes her period or after a couple is intimate they're supposed to make us and it's the ritual bath and we're also supposed to do this before Juma'a we're supposed to do this before the prayer of Reed the reason we know how to do us is because Maybuna al-Dula'na narrated to us what the Prophet SAW did what's so significant about Umayyad bin Minin as a collective group the men saw who he was in the public SAW they saw him in his most intimate moments and narrated to us everything that he did we wouldn't know him as a complete human being without the mothers of the believers one, two there's only one Prophet SAW but there isn't one way to be a woman there isn't a one way to get married there isn't one way to do anything out of these women there are two of them were business women two of them were scholars some of them were really really really strict with themselves and with others some of them were more relaxed some of them were good at cooking some of them had long hair some of them had short hair no time Umayyad had really long hair there isn't one right way to be a woman and we keep telling women your job in the world is to get married and have children and to nurture those children and to put in blood sweat and tears into the community and to build things and to nourish things women are supposed to do this naturally but so are men the imbalance that we have in our society is actually hurting both sides of the equation most stars in the universe are actually two stars that rotate around each other do you know that game where you hold someone's hand and you go really really really fast in a circle sort of but you're not sitting down you're holding hands and you're going really fast if one person lets go and the other person goes flying that's the balance that we're supposed to have of male and female in our society you're holding a child the child is flying because the weight's not the same so being insulting to one side of the equation or the other it just throws society out of balance our goal isn't to have patriarchy or matriarchy it's not a competition between the two it's supposed to be a cooperation and a balance and when we lose that balance both sides lose out SubhanAllah the perfection of Allah's Panathana the perfection of Allah's Panathana is that he's one and not part of a pair if you are part of a pair so just SubhanAllah my time is up hopefully we'll have questions and answers later hopefully we'll cover the mothers of the believers in enough time again we knew it was a tall task come back after Salah there's food and questions so Allah just do a closing drought sorry can I do a quick closing drought may Allah join us with the mothers of the believers and with the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam I mean Allah