 The narcissist will do anything to avoid this. They will do anything to prevent this from happening. They will do anything to avoid being in a situation where they have to be vulnerable. Where they have to be completely honest and open about who they are. Because they see vulnerability as a weakness. They see it as something that makes them less impressive and valuable. It makes them feel weak and delicate. Where they are unable to advance in position and progress. They see it as a setback. Something that causes a delay and prevents a process from continuing. Which is why vulnerability is something that they will persistently avoid, ignore and reject through antipathy and caution. It's something that they will run away from. Vulnerability is a place where you can develop empathy for other people. It allows you to develop the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It allows you to put yourself in their shoes. It allows you to be authentic and have meaningful exchanges. It can give you a feeling of reassurance. Following release from anxiety and stress. It can give you a sense of safety. It can make you more self-aware. It can help you to examine your own behaviors. When you are vulnerable, you set aside any ideas or perfection. And instead, you choose to be real. You choose to be kind. You choose to be generous, helpful and caring about other people. You choose to learn from your faults and mistakes. Because you have a willingness to tolerate a difficult situation. You practice acceptance. But all of these things are considered wrong and offensive to the narcissist. Because it's something that they despise. They hate vulnerability. They will do anything to avoid it. Because they're very afraid of it. They're shame-based people. Who are doing everything to avoid reflecting on their shame. So they will be committed to being insincere and deceitful. And they will run away from vulnerability. Because they see it as a weakness. They would rather that you were afraid of them. They would rather be something dangerous, painful or harmful to you. They would rather be something that you are anxious and concerned about. Rather than being someone who is friendly and easy for you to talk to. Rather than being cordial, sociable and congenial. Because they have to appear strong. They cannot let you see their weaknesses. It's far more satisfying for them to destroy you. Than it is for them to build you up. It's easier for them to be unreasonably opinionated. Than to accept that they have a lot to learn. They would rather prepare and train you for the purpose of giving them superficial admiration. Than you admiring and respecting them. For some deeper and more meaningful qualities that they could otherwise develop. And them taking an interest in making your life better. They would rather act like they have all the answers. Than to accept that they need some help. They would rather draw attention to your deficiencies. Instead of accepting their own trouble, pain and struggles. Everything has to be a competition with them. And they are always keeping score. Rather than accepting equality. And realising that you are both special and unique. Instead they build up a wall. They don't talk freely about their feelings or personal problems. They are open, honest or personal with you. In their minds, it's better for them to indicate your faults. Than it is to give you support, confidence and hope. It's better for them to avoid accountability. Than for them to allow you to discover something about them. Because they will do anything to avoid being vulnerable. It scares them. Because they see it as something that can seriously weaken and harm them. In their minds, a successful life. Is built on short lived impressions of power, achievements, perfection and being commanding. When true success is built on love. It's built on an intense feeling of deep affection. A great interest and pleasure in something. Accepting your own experiences both good and bad. And accepting the experiences of other people. And supporting them because you honour and respect them. I believe that this is a much better perspective of a successful life. But to achieve that, we have to be vulnerable. Which is something that narcissists are not willing to do. So we cannot participate. Or establish a meaningful contact or connection with them. We may want to help them. But they're not going to put themselves in a position. Where they can make it easier or possible for us to do that. So just know within yourself. That being open, vulnerable and authentic is the best that you can be. It is the opposite of their lack of accountability. But it is what will help you to heal. Thank you for watching. I hope that the fundraising with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries. You can email me at coachinganarchsurvivor.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.