 1986 is a white, good-humor-brand ice cream truck in poor condition and lacking any images or descriptions of the product it sells. The van appears to be sapient as it drives without a person behind the wheel after the investigation of March 15, 2012 has been concluded that none of the doors or windows on the vehicle open through conventional means. The van plays instrumental melodies of Pop Goes the Weasel and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star 24 hours a day, alternating between the two every four hours. On occasion it has been known to play a version of Green Sleeves, but will immediately switch to another song when in the presence of customers. SCP-1386 is a thin slot in the middle of its driver's side door, which only becomes visible when it dispenses the various ice cream products it sells. Along with the ice cream, the van slides out a small slip of receipt paper with a price written on it, which has been described as very sloppy but legible handwriting. The van receives payment through the same slot it delivers ice cream from, and will drive away as soon as it is paid. The prices and flavors of the ice cream product it sells fluctuate daily, but it never runs out of its stocks of items. Notable tests of the van are as follows. March 30th, 2012 Doctors R- and D- each requested one cookies and cream smoothie, and they were dispensed as asked. However, one smoothie was marked with a handwritten M and the other a handwritten G. The receipt was for $4.89 and was paid without incident. April 1st, 2012 Dr. D- requested one Napolitan ice cream sandwich. After several seconds, the van slid out what appeared to be a meat and cheese sandwich with tomato. The sandwich was made out of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream, respectively. The receipt, given, said April Fools, and the van drove away before Dr. D. R- inquired about payment. April 12th, 2012 Dr. D- asked for a single scoop vanilla ice cream cone and a waffle cone. The product was dispensed as asked with a receipt that read $0.72 and was paid without incident. April 17th, 2012 Dr. F- requested one peach push pop and received it along with a receipt of $16.27. Dr. F- expressed disapproval at the price for the ice cream and refused to pay the full amount, instead paying a total of $3.75 in quarters. When Dr. F- attempted to walk away, the van opened the slot in its doors to an approximate height of 6 feet and dragged Dr. F- inside of it by use of a large and rusted steel trap. The van then returned its slots to its former size and proceeded to spew out a pink substance from its slot for 5 straight minutes before then driving away with no further incident. Upon inspection of the pink substance, it was found to consist of blood, skin tissue and bone fragments whose DNA signature matched that of the further attempts to interact with SCP-1386 must be through D-class personnel. April 27th, 2012 Personnel D- asked the van for a cherry popsicle adding, with nuts. The van seemed to wait several seconds and dispensed a single cherry popsicle unwrapped with nuts embedded in the ice. The receipt given read $2.20, your nuts. When D- was recorded as chuckling as he read the paper, the van was paid without incident. April 30th, 2012 Personnel D- requested a Caesar salad flavored popsicle. After a few moments, the van dispensed a popsicle with an off-green coloration and was noted to taste of lightly dressed lettuce with a hint of croutons. The receipt was for $4.56 and was paid without incident. May 4th, 2012 Personnel D- asked for a dark chocolate fudge pop and received it with a receipt of $1.38, paid for it with two single-dollar bills. After receiving payment, the van made a sound akin to a cash register from within, what is presumably the area in which the ice cream is stored, and then dispensed a small factory wrapped package. There was no written indication of what was contained inside the package, but on the front there was a crudely drawn image of what appeared to be various coins all of American currency. The van drove off once the package was dispensed. At the urging of Dr. J-D- was then assigned to inspect the content of the package. The package was found to have a total of $0.62 in American currency when the coins were considered safe, D- asked if he could keep the change, request was denied. May 10th, 2012 Personnel D- asked for an ice cream kinder egg which was dispensed along with a receipt for $3.87 with a pay-without-incident. The kinder egg appeared similar to the kind popular in Europe, though made of ice cream instead of chocolate. D- reported the exterior to be made of coffee ice cream in the interior of front. There was no toy inside as ordinary kinder eggs have, instead there was a small slip of parchment paper that read, I-O-U-1-Toy, May 16th, 2012. Personnel D- requested the following, in order, one cherry ice lolly, one cherry ice pop, one cherry popsicle, and one cherry flavored drink frozen. The van may describe as a real unnerving sound like someone skinning a cat in reverse. For several seconds before flinging out of a slot-red sticks of unwrapped ice, shattered them on the pavement. Moments later, it dispensed a large styrofoam cup full of a frozen green liquid. D- was noted as asking the van, what do I van drove off? I'm pod inspection of the shards of ice from the first three sticks. It was discovered that the frozen substance was made up of two parts water, one part arsenic, and red food dye. The styrofoam cup was found to contain an unknown substance with a melting point so high, it is impossible to thaw out with current technology. The substance and the cup are currently being withheld for further examination. May 20th, 2012, a new procedure has been tested. Personnel D ████ mute but able to write requested a vanilla cone and chocolate through use of pencil and paper. The request was raised to the area where the dispensing slot usually appears. After a full minute, the van opened another slot three inches lower than a normal one. A thin, flesh-colored appendage slid out of the slot to retrieve the paper before retreating and closing the slot. Years later, the normal slot opened and the ice cream was received. The receipt was for $0.97 and was paid without incident. When questioned about the transaction, D ████ responded in frantic sign language, it is transcribed as follows. It was a hand, not human, two fingers and a thumb. It was bony like a dead body and it smelled, it smelled dead. D ████ to eat the ice cream that was received, reclaiming that they had lost their appetite. May 30th, 2012, following the events of May 20th, 2012, Personnel D ████ who was not mute was given the order to repeat the same test, writing the request on paper and giving it to the van. The van received the paper through a secondary slot by use of another flesh-colored appendage and completed the transaction that's requested. The receipt was for $0.86 and was paid without incident. When questioned about the transaction and the appendage in particular, D ████ responded, I don't see what B ████ was getting all worked up about. It's just a hand, you know, there's probably just some guy in there handing out ice cream. I'm sure it's weird. June 4th, 2012, Personnel D ████ also not mute was given the order to write a new request on paper and give it to the van. The request was for a banana sundae with hot fudge, and as in previous tests, the van accepted the paper through a secondary slot by use of its hand and processed the request. The receipt was for $2.78 and was paid without incident. When questioned about the transaction, D ████ stated, There's got to be somebody in there. I could swear I heard somebody cough, like they had a cold or something. When the topic of the hand was ████, look, it's not that big a deal, just a hand. Got all five fingers, looked healthy, certainly not dead or whatever. D ████ just lost it. Never trusted that guy much anyways. June 6th, 2012, no test. Personnel D ████ logged at █████, May 30th, 2012 was found dead in her holding block at 7.40 in the morning. Approximately time of death is 4.30 am. Autopsy shows that D ████ died of strangulation and light bruising on the neck confirms this. D ████'s death has been marked as suicide as it did not share a cell with any other personnel and her cell door showed no sign of forced entry.