 What's up, everybody? I'm the Mangus. You are awesome and welcome back to Paragon Storytime. Stories about Paragon or its many successors from viewers like you. Check the link below if you have a story you'd like to share. Today we have a Countess with a master plan, a late rector, and a defeated Chimera. Let's start this off with this crazy-ass Countess story from...Girdo. One time, post-42 patch practicing 5-man co-op, I wind up in mid lane with a Countess jungler. Match starts normally, then Countess comes out and I'm thinking she is going to gank the AI mid laner. Nope, she runs past him and dives his tier 1, attacking it until it kills her. Confused, me and the other three laners keep playing, but I'm watching the minimap. Countess respawns and goes straight to solo lane, repeating her odd behavior, runs past AI solo, dives the T1, and suicides. Our solo text chats, what the fuck? Then Countess comes back, be lines the duo, runs past bots, and yet again, suicides on the enemy tier 1. Clearly, after three tower suicides, us four laners know something is up, so we all text chat about it and Countess responds. What you were about to read was not a troll, joke, no one on drugs that we could tell, this Countess player was serious in a disturbing yet funny way. Countess says they are doing this every 5-man co-op match, thinking if they generate enough tower suicides, Epic Games staff will notice this behavior and their data and contact the Countess player. At this point, the Countess player plans to tell Epic everything they were doing wrong with Paragon, and honestly expected Epic Games to realize how silly their company was, how brilliant this Countess is, and change the game. Just for this one player. When I started reading this story, I was like, how can an AI story be interesting, but holy shit, that's insane. If that plan would have worked and we heard about it, oh my god, that would have been nuts. Next up is a Gideon trying his best to help from Kevin DeJesus. You can check him out on Twitter at kevdehesus. This one is kind of a funnier story. I was playing Gideon mid lane, and our off lane Richter came from left lane to help me push mid lane tower. As soon as the announcer said tower destroyed, the entire enemy team materializes out of thin air, so I start pinging retreat, retreat, but Richter wanted to take a last few minions while I started to get up out of there. I could have sworn he was close enough behind though, so I threw a portal to make sure we made it out of there okay, but literally the frame he jumped to go through it, it closed before his eyes. We looked at each other across the riverbed of mid lane, and he did what I could only describe as the epitome of a full body sigh. All he did was shake his body and somehow I understood that he knew this was the end of the line for him. Needless to say, he got absolutely obliterated within seconds. It was simultaneously the funniest and saddest shit I've experienced in that game, a cinematic emotional roller coaster. There are times in the game where you can look at a player and even though there's no expressiveness in the 3D model, they don't say a word, you can just tell that dejected like, ah fuck me, you can just tell what the player is thinking. Finally we have a story about learning the power of minions from Claymore. Paragon was my first MOBA and I started out playing Murdoch because he seemed the most familiar. Getting ganked is never fun and someone as inexperienced as I was, Chimera was terrifying. One game I had my lane pushed up pretty far when, sure enough, Kai jumps me. I take off running, but I'm too far away from my tower with no chance of escape. Just then a wave of minions shows up and I run right through the middle of it, Kai right behind me. My minions start swarming over him and I start circling the clump, raining down basic attacks. Finally he has to cut and run. As he takes off back up the lane, I finish him off with a long arm right between the shoulder blades. The exhilaration of going from abject terror of Chimera to seeing him turntail and flee is easily my favorite memory of Paragon. I'll tell you what man, as soon as you learn that you can use that minion wave to straight up block jugglers from coming at you, ah it's a beautiful thing, it's a beautiful thing. That's it for this week guys, like I said, if you have a story you want to share, either about Paragon or one of its successors, use the form linked below. Like the video if you enjoyed it sub for more third person content, but for now, this pig has been fucked.