 Lux presents Hollywood. Lever Brothers Company, the makers of Lux Flakes, bring you the Lux Radio Theatre, starring Dana Andrews, Anne Baxter, and Cecil Kelleway in The Luck of the Irish. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. William Keeling. Things from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight we have one of the strangest characters ever to appear in the Lux Radio Theatre. It's a leprechaun. One of those famed little men of Ireland who, according to legend, are forever mending shoes and who, if you can catch them, can lead you straight to a pot of gold. Being Irish, they can be depended upon to lend romance a helping hand and see that the right girl gets the right boy. In The Luck of the Irish, adapted from the delightful 20th Century Fox picture, the right boy and girl are played tonight by Dana Andrews and Anne Baxter and the mysterious leprechaun by Cecil Kelleway. I suppose in other times it could easily be believed that the foamy suds from tiny diamonds of Lux could only be the work of some wondrous creature like a leprechaun. Actually, they're a triumph of the world-famous Lever Laboratories. But however it happens, the leprechauns and Lux Flakes do their jobs the same magic way. Here's the curtain for The Luck of the Irish, starring Dana Andrews as Stephen and Baxter as Nora and Cecil Kelleway as Horace. The Luck of the Irish The Irish countryside, late one summer afternoon. At the edge of a narrow bumpy road, an automobile's come to an unscheduled stop. That's no use, Bill. I'm afraid we've burned a bearing. Oh, fine. First we lose our way in. Well, anyway, as long as we stick to the sea coast, we're bound to hit Shannon. What if you are a couple of days late getting back to New York, Prince, for once the great Mr. Orga can wait? I'm beginning to think you don't like Mr. Orga. I don't like what he does to good newspaper men and go to work for him. Like me? Like you. Fortunately, I have the money to compete with men like Orga. Well, look, Bill, it's getting late. You stay here. I'll scout up the road a bit. It must lead somewhere. Yeah, don't be so sure. Irish paths can be just as whimsical as the Irish carriage. Wait a minute! What are you running away for? Why do you ask? Why do you ask with me? My friend and I are lost. Where's the nearest town? Last you see. Oh, then you didn't come here looking for me. Looking for you? What would I want with a shoemaker? That is what you've been doing, isn't it? Mending shoes? Yes, it is. Mending shoes. In the middle of the woods? Well, all I care about is getting to the nearest village. What makes your name big? Well, look, my name. It's Gerald. Please, I'm in a hurry. Hurry. This is strange word. Hurry. Why would you be in a hurry? Because there's a very important man waiting for me in New York. It's good to see that you're impatient with me, Fitzgerald. Well, I've enjoyed our conversation. I want to tell you. Thank you very much. Uh, ask for the nearest village. Yes? Observe the stream and the waterfall. The water from the mountains comes into my pool with a roar and goes out with a whisper. Down the hill it goes till it quietly reaches the sea. There are a little village called Balinapo. You thought we'd do the same. Well, thank you very much. Good day. Oh, uh, just a minute. Can you tell me if there's a... Hey, Shoemaker, where did you... He's disappeared. Well, there's him. I think he's very comfortable. Without a telephone, without a mechanic, how are we going to get out of... Yes? Just me, sir, with your luggage from the car. I'll set it down anywhere. I never should have listened to that old lunatic at the waterfall. Waterfall, sir? What for? Waterfall is that? The one up the stream about a mile or so. Begging your pardon, sir. There's no waterfall. But I saw a waterfall and I suppose I didn't see that old Shoemaker either. Old Shoemaker? Yes, the one with the green coat and the brass buttons. Green coat and brass? Excuse me, gentlemen, I'd better get upstairs. Is everybody balmy in this country? He'd probably think she saw her pixie. I brought some towels, sir. Oh, come in. What time is dinner? Ten hours, sir. If Miss Tove doesn't take it into its head to start an argument. Well, it will if it's like everything else around here. Oh, you mustn't be too hard on us, sir. We're not used to having such grand guests all the way from America. Look, will you tell the old lady I'd like to see her, please? There's only one old lady here. You're seeing her now. Oh, then tell me, what are the chances of getting transportation to Shannon? If you can wait. But I can't wait. Well, you see, the trouble is we're sea-locked. Ocean on both sides of us. There must be boats. Oh, sure. Sean are far and a bit glad to take in his boat when he comes in. Oh, when will that be? He should be back any day now. Any day? But I've... As I said, sir, dinner may be in an hour. Here, Teddy. There was a fine meal. Thank you, sir. Thank you. I brought you a bottle, gentlemen, lest you feel a chill tonight. Well, sit down. Pour one for yourself. But herself wouldn't like it. We niece know her. She says a long glass means a short life. You can tell your niece that I once interviewed a man on his 110th birthday. He swore it was the result of drinking a pint of corn liquor every morning before breakfast. Do you tell me that now? It's the truth. 110 years. Oh, Teddy, how about that waterfall and the old man I spoke to? There's no waterfall. And it was no mortal man you had words with. Oh, who was it then? I mind well who it was. It was him, the leprechaun and none other. The leprechaun. I'll see you here, Teddy. Mr. Fitzgerald, it was a great opportunity you had. And the saints will give you for not taking advantage. Well, what should I have done? Seize the leprechaun. What else? Make him give you the pot of coal. Oh, yes. Yes, I remember now. Well, Bill, I'm going up to bed. A little early for you, isn't it, Fitz? I'll read for a while. I'll see you at breakfast. Put up your face. Put up your face. Oh, it's you, sir. What are you doing up there with your head out the window? And what are you doing down there with a bottle of whiskey? Selfish, sharp ears. I'm leaving the whiskey on the doorstep for him. Oh, I see. The leprechaun. It's a good thing to leave a bit of something on the doorstep. I thought the traditional drink of leprechauns was milk. Milk? Milk, you say? You don't mind the suggestions, sir? Get back to your bed and go to sleep. Good night, Mr. Fitzgerald. Good night, Tady. Bill, we're awake. We could play a game or two. Someone's coming. Someone's coming down the road. The shoemaker. Well, this time, he's not going to get away with it. Oh, you bastard. You're not a bastard born to a favor. Let me go. Oh, no, you don't. I'll let you go after you've shown me your pot of gold. Then what with a poor shepherd or a man like me who'd be there with a pot of gold? None of you lies now. Of course you've got a pot of gold. No right-minded leprechaun would be caught without one. Yeah, of course. Been telling you such stories. Never mind. Now, where is it? No, but, uh, you're just near to our... Where's the gold? Down to the thorn bush. Not far from your ugly face. Oh, the thorn bush, of course. It's always buried under the thorn bush, isn't it? All right, my friend. A pot digging. Oh, the wicked thing you'd imagine me to do. It's your own fault for burying it so deep. Yes, yes, yes. The...the other keys to the pot of gold. All right, lift it out. Well, they're real. For the real gold. Now, look. I don't know who you are or what sort of game you're trying to play. Did you steal this money? I never stole anything in my life. Except it was rightly mine. Well, that's one thing we have in common. Here, put it back. He...he...you don't... You've asked me to put it back. You don't really think I'd take it to you? The...the pot of gold. He...he...he...he... You give it back to me. Oh, I'll never forget you for this, dear. Give out my hand-grab, you twerp. Here, here, here. Take this little bit for a kick. Oh, no, no, I couldn't. You should just take it. I want you to take it. One gold coin. Oh, thank you. You see, no, no. It is I...it is I that am thanking you from the bottom of my heart. Well, all the luck and the will to you. You wish me? Oh, the luck and the will? Yes, why not? You still have a way of twisty things in the most perplexing manner. It is I that am seeing all the luck and the will to you. Good boy, sir. Well, we're up very early. I didn't sleep very well last night. Oh, I hope it wasn't the bed. I kept having dreams. Dreams? Good ones, I hope. Strange ones, anyway. Look, about that waterfall... What waterfall is that? The one by the stream. Mr. Fitzgerald, there is no waterfall on our stream. Now, if you sit down, I'll have breakfast... Breakfast can wait. Mr. Fitzgerald... We're going to find out once and for all if there is a waterfall up there. But, Uncle Tady... Uncle Tady can go and fly a kite. We're taking a walk. Shall we turn back now? Are you convinced? But it was right there. I'll swear it was right here. A waterfall. Hey there! Hey! What are you calling? Well, he's...he's a rather peculiar friend of mine. An old man, about so tall and very nimble on his feet. It's easy to imagine things here in the woods. Let's cross the metal, Mr. Fitzgerald. There's a ground view of the sea over there. I'm sorry. Sure, let's take a look at the... It's from out there that Sean O'Fairness boat will be coming. I wish it were coming now. Is it so very important to you to leave here? What's the chance I've been waiting for? Is he nor I ever since the war I've been kicking around Europe writing for newspapers, magazines... Your friend, Mr. Clark, is he right or two? No, no, he's an editor. He'd like me to stay with him. But this other offer's just too good to turn down. Well, whatever it is you really want, Mr. Fitzgerald, I think you'll be getting it. Do you, Nora? Nora, you know if I ever had a daughter, that's what I'd call her. Ah, then you're not married. Oh, but a man shouldn't marry, should he not? It's the natural rule and a good thing altogether. Well, what about you? Doesn't the rule apply to you? And who would I be marrying here in Balinabun? Michael the fishmonger or old fowl who calls himself a farmer or... Well? Oh, look, the boat. The one I'm waiting for? Yes. It's the arena, Sean's trawler. And your wish has come true. But you look troubled. Nora, this coin, have you ever seen anything like this? Oh, sure. It's an old Spanish doubloon. Well, how could I have gotten it? Very easily. There have been many of them since the armada was wrecked here. The farmers plow them up from time to time. I see. Nora, you know it's funny, but now that I know I'll be leaving here, I have want to stay. No, a man like you you mustn't be looking backwards. No, not ever. But forward to whatever you want from life. You shouldn't be so serious, Nora. Not about me. No, I shouldn't. No, let's get back to the arena. Isn't Shannon getting... He's a wonderful man, Mr. Clark. He's a nice fellow. He's a first-class writer. But he's willing to throw it all away for money. Working for an egomaniac named D.C. Auger. And you call yourself his friend. Saying things like that the minute he's back is turned. I've said the same things to his face, Nora. He knows what's best for himself. Don't waste your fine Irish temper, my dear. It isn't worth it. Fishing trawler to Shannon. The plane to New York and here I am. And now suppose you tell me something. After knowing me all these years, why do you suddenly want me to work for you? Well, because I made a big decision, Fitz. I'm tired of just being a publisher. I'm going to run for the Senate. The Senate? But where do I come in? You're going to see that I'm elected. Oh, no, I'm no politician. Exactly. Fitz, I've read every article you ever wrote about the American spectator. Not that I agree with your conclusions. Oh, no, but you do know people and you understand the issues. Now, you take that piece you wrote about my Paris speech. You called it boneheaded. Well, the point is you put your finger right on the weakness of my argument. I could have put my foot on it. Well, that's exactly why I want you on my side. I want you to write my speeches, Fitz. Be my right hand. Cover up your shortcomings by ghostwriting your speeches so that people will be hypnotized into electing you. To insult me. I have to do something for my self-respect in spite of all that money you want to pay me. Then it's a deal. Okay. We'll show them who's a dunderhead. That's what I'm afraid of. Incidentally, my daughter wants you to phone her. Is she going to be busy tonight? I wouldn't know. Oh, and here are your keys. I got you an apartment. You ungrateful hack. Here's the address. You're a servant. I've never had a servant in my life. Well, we can't have you bothered with trifles, Fitz. Got to keep that brain of yours on ice. We're going to do big things together, my boy. Now, if you want to call Francis... Fitz, what was their name? You're easy, being two days late. Oh, the irony, she's a fishing trawler. Ha-ha, you're cute, aren't you? I mean, that's good at the end. Her name is Nora. Pretty, I suppose. If you like the Irish, I've missed you, Francis. You don't think I believe that, do you? I'm surprised you call me, Day. Well, after all, the boss's daughter, you know. Oh, look. I'm dead, Francis. I haven't slept for 24 hours. Let's go home. I want you to see that modernistic little nightmare your father rented for me. I spent a whole week fixing that apartment for you. Ha-ha, you're a busy little thing, aren't you? Interior decorating and convincing papa that he needed a ghost writer. Who says I had anything to do with that? Nobody. So what are you gonna do, resign? No, but I'd like to know what it's going to cost me. Not a thing, darling. It was sheer altruism. Now finish your coffee and we'll go on home. I think with people I hate, darling. Now she hates me. So I tell you why. Because all the time you were away, you kept coming between me and whatever I was doing. Because I ate, dreamt, slept, and lived you. You and your black magic. I hate you. I hate your superiority. Your black Irish eyes and your arrogant nose if you're not going to kiss me. Oh, what was that? Door buzzer. Excuse me. You all close at you live here. The employment agency, sir. The ACME employer. Oh, yes. Well, uh, come in. Thank you, sir. The kitchen's in there. You don't mind waiting a minute or so. I'll excuse you. It's a fine time of night to be sending people over. Well, did you say you wanted him tonight? I didn't say a word. It was your father's second. What is it? What's the matter? That man. Who is he? How do I know? Excuse me a second. Uh, are you? Haven't I seen you someplace before? I wouldn't rightly know, sir. Depends on where you've been. Where did you come from? The ACME employment agency, sir. I mean, before that. The last place, sir. Where was that? Oh, there were no complaints. No complaints at all at all. I keep great pride in my work and pride in myself. I'll, uh, talk to you later. Yes, sir. I still have a feeling I've seen him someplace before. Well, how about that drink? Oh, I like the bar, Frances. Was that your idea? That was a scotch. See, your favorite brand. And I haven't even thanked you. No. No, you haven't. Then come here and let me begin. Heaven's sake. Yes, you can. Mix us a drink. A drink. Oh, I'm sorry, honey. But a servant wasn't my idea. Never mind my drink. I'm going. There's too much traffic here. There's a little crowded. Shall I see you home? No, don't bother, Fitz. I'll take a cab. Take me lunch tomorrow. I'll stop by your office. Bye. Good night, baby. You can throw that other drink away. Throw it away, sir. Oh, he's a great pity, sir. One should not waste good food. All right, all right. Drink it yourself, then. Oh, wait a minute. If you insist, sir. I beg your pardon, sir. But there's something wrong. The way you keep looking at me. All right. I don't know if anything's wrong or not. Well, you're a good head, sir. You're a good dog, sir. Thanks. With you around, I think I may need all I can get. The trend with Act II of the luck of the Irish in a moment. New York got a pretty nice Christmas present, didn't it, Libby? Oh, you mean John Garfield and Beatrice Pearson in person? Yes. My, I wish I'd been there Christmas day for the grand opening of their new picture, Force of Evil. As a lawyer involved in the numbers racket, John Garfield is terrific. He certainly is. Enterprise productions have made an outstanding screenplay of Ira Wolfert's fine novel. The flattering reviews were a very nice Christmas present for Beatrice. Force of Evil is her screen debut, you know. I hear she's going to commute between New York and Hollywood for the next seven years. That's right. Her new contract permits her to spend part of every year on the New York stage. Well, that'll mean a lot of traveling. Well, fortunately, she learned a lot of shortcuts to easy traveling when she played in stocks. Like a box of luxe tucked in her suitcase. That's right. Luxing a pair of nylons en route is just as much a part of her routine as brushing her teeth. Well, that proves she's a smart girl because luxing nylons makes them last much longer. And those new tiny diamonds of luxe get the job done in a jiffy. The new diamonds are so fast, they burst into suds the instant water touches them. And they make richer suds that last and last. They're a real triumph of the lever laboratories. Girls like especially the way these new diamonds make stockings last twice as long. Strain tests prove that. Stockings washed with strong soaps got run much sooner. I'd advise girls who got nylons for Christmas to make new year's resolutions never to use anything but luxe flakes for them. Back to our producer, William Keely. Act two of the luck of the iris, starting Dana Andrews as Steven and Baxter as Nora and Cecil Kellaway as Horace. It's a moment or two later and Steven Fitzgerald stares blankly at his newly acquired manservice. An elderly gentleman bearing a remarkable resemblance to a certain leprechaun from County Clair in Ireland. And you say the ACME Employment Agency sent you here? Yes, sir. What's your name? Well, you may call me Horace, sir. I've always had a fancy to be called Horace. Now, what about your salary? Oh, that's how I've been taken care of, sir. Oh, is he Mr. Orga's office, huh? Yes, sir. Sir? No, nothing. No, I'm going to bed. Oh, I'll have breakfast tomorrow morning at nine o'clock. Yes, good night here, Mr. Fitzgerald. Sleep well. So what can I do for you? I'm from the ACME Employment Agency. You're too late. The position was filled last night. I demand to see the master. And what would you be telling him that you got the fact from your last days forgetting into the port, not to mention pinching the Palomate until Paul Gerber's black and blue? Who are you? How do you know that I... How are we here with you before you feel the back of my hand? Yes, sir. Good day, sir. How would I know? How would I know, indeed? Ha-ha-ha! Oh, good morning, sir. Who is that at the door? Oh, nobody at all, sir. Just make yourself comfortable. I'll have your breakfast ready before he comes. He might have been here before you. Thank you, Horace. Stephen Fitzgerald. I'd like to inquire about a servant you sent up here. Oh, yes. Any complaints about him? Oh! Thank you. Take a look at this coin. Have you ever seen this coin before? No, I... I'm a poor man. Just answer me, yes or no. I've never seen it before in my life, sir. You gave me this coin yourself. Me, sir? How could I? Oh, I'm losing my mind. Horace, I'm sorry, but you can't stay here. You'll have to leave. The... Leave, sir. Yes, right now. And please stop that crying. I'm displeased here. And I... And I wanted to serve you so. Well, you don't have to cry about it. The best mask that I ever had in me was everything. I was fair. All right. All right. I take it back. You can stay. Only stop that bawling. And never mind breakfast. I'll get it downtown. You mentioned luncheon, the engagement downtown. Yes, I know. Call downstairs, will you, and tell the garage to have my car ready? Yes, sir. Mr. Fitzgerald, I've been serving you now for two weeks, sir. I hope everything's satisfactory. Yes, everything's fine. I'll tell him I want my car. Yes, sir. You have a busy schedule today, sir. Then what are you waiting for? Just a suggestion, Mr. Fitzgerald. Leave your car at home, sir. And take the subway. But you're losing dignity again in time. Well, maybe you're right. All right, I'll take the subway. Thank you, sir. I didn't take my car today. My man advised me to take the subway. This is the first time I've been in one since I got back to New York. And if I hadn't taken that particular train, I never would have found you. Now, tell me, how long have you been here? Where are you staying? No, I can't answer everything at once. I've been here five days. I haven't called you. Oh, but I didn't know where you were. And I'm stopping with Katie's cousin, Mrs. Crimin, up the street a bit. Yes, sir. How long are you staying? Oh, it's as long as my business. So sweet. You think it was something unnatural that I should be here? It's wonderful, whatever else it is. Oh, wait. The new sand. I promised little Dennis I'd bring him some candy. Yes, ladies. This candy, how much is it? Uh, 50 cents. Four bits. Hey, lady, I can't change 20 bucks. Oh, dear. Stephen, would you mind? Oh, I'd be delighted. That's great. What's the matter? Well, that's funny. I could have sworn I had... Horace must have let me go out without my wallet. Oh? You couldn't change a doubloon, could you? A what? Oh, no, not your lucky piece. Come along. Dennis can wait for his candy. I, uh... I was just about to have lunch, Stephen. You were? Yes, you know, Mrs. Crimin's cousin's son is our carnelist. I had a bit of a bar and grill on the next block. You wouldn't care to join me. I'd love to, except I have for lunch and engagement, and after that, some pretty important meeting. Oh, sure, sure you have. Stephen, you wouldn't refuse me out of pride, would you? Pride? Oh, forgive me, Stephen. Oh, look, I've changed my mind. I accept your invitation. Now that's best. I never was a man to argue with miracles. Only you'll have to pay the check, I'm afraid. Of course, Stephen. Don't even think about it. The poor boy hasn't got a penny. He was going to get a fine job, but I guess it just didn't work out. Let's do his name. I'll give him some more stew. A little more stew, sir? Oh, no, please. I couldn't. Oh, give him some more carnelist. She's my own wife's ivory stew, sir. And that light, it wouldn't distress a canary. Well, just a little, then. Oh, Stephen, I didn't tell you that carnelist's daughter is getting married on Friday with a big reception right here on the bar and grill. Oh, congratulations. Oh, thank you, sir. If you'd care to attend yourself, sir, I'd be very happy. Eat, Stephen. Finish that stew. Oh, yes, the stew. But you still haven't told me. What are you doing in New York? Oh, it's very simple. Katie's uncle Peter died here, and that'd be very money. Oh, that's that Mr. Kremen, did you mention? No, no. His driscoll uncle from Galway. The one that married the youngest Brady girl whose father had a farm next to Sweden. Oh, I see. That one. Yes, you see, Mr. Driscoll had four sisters, and the eldest was married the same as Corridon that had a public house in Limerick that failed for drinking with a customer. So my father took Katie on as a lad to help with the horses, and then he came to Limerick. Corrigan? No, no, Stephen. Uncle Griscoll is on telling you. You see, his favorite sister was Kathleen, that Katie's mother. She never went to see. He changed his will, leaving everything to Katie. He never cared much for Rory, that little snippet of Ryan Gurley married. There was some trouble with the O'Shays, of course. Oh, yes, of course. They'd think that her mother was entitled to a share, but Martin O'Shay had done well in marriage with the old doolies from Nakashiga, and it'd been only a bit of an inheritance, a few shillings a month. There was no trouble to persuade him not to make any complications. That must have made everything very simple. Well, it would have been, but for Uncle Griscoll being a bit hazy in his notions and thinking that Katie was a girl, so he left his money to his beloved niece. Can you imagine? I can't understand what could have confused him. So someone had to come here to straighten things out, and Katie wouldn't budge. He mistrusts the sea and refuses flat out to set foot on the Atlantic. So that's why I'm here. Well, I'm very glad you made it so plain to me. And I'm very glad you're here, Nora. I never thought I'd see you again, Stephen. When I knew I was coming, I wrote to that nice Mr. Clark in London, but he didn't answer. That's because he's in Paris. He did tell me one thing, though, before he left Balinaboon. That whatever might happen, he'd be that glad to have you back working for him. Oh? So if it's a question of passage, money, Stephen, I'm sure he'd advance it. Oh, a bit more than nice stew. No, no, Nora. No, no, I couldn't. Oh, Stephen, you don't have to pretend with me. I wait here. You haven't eaten for days. Oh, I'm not that busy, believe me. But I do have to get uptown. Mr. Auger's having a press conference. Well, it's a long walk uptown, Stephen. He'll give you strength. Cornelius. You've been very cooperative, Mr. Auger. Thanks a lot. Well, it's a newspaper man. I know the problems you reporters have with politicians. Now, if you boys want copies of my speech, why, uh, Fitz will get them to you on your way out. Oh, one more question, Mr. Auger. I understand you support the Crawford proposal for Germany. I most certainly do, yes. Then let me read you this clipping. The Crawford proposal is a fraud on the German people, a death sentence for European democracy, and a betrayal of American ideals. Well, uh, I never made any such statement. I wasn't quoting you, Mr. Auger. This appeared in the American spectator two months ago under the byline of Stephen Fitzgerald. Oh, very simple, gentlemen. When Fitz wrote that, he was working for somebody else. Now he's working for me. Yeah, well, we all have to make a living, I suppose. That's what's called on here. Goodbye, boys. Goodbye. A little too close for comfort. You should have told me about that piece. You read it, didn't you? I didn't remember it was that strong. Fitz, this could be very embarrassing if the opposition wants to make an issue of it. But you knew those were my views when you hired me. Oh, for heaven's sake, this is politics, man. What's the matter with you? Now, look, uh, you'd better write an article for the new era magazine. We don't go to press until tomorrow night. Let's see, uh, title it Second Thoughts on the Crawford proposal. You see what I'm driving at? Yes, I think I do. You know, the other side of the picture, I think it's a good sound idea. My agreement with you calls for perjury, but not under my own byline. It will be under your byline, Fitz, and you'll have it on my desk by noon tomorrow. Well? Of course, Mr. Ogre. Writing all those important political speeches into his nose. You know, Horace, there is such a thing as taking one's job too seriously. Oh, no, sir. It's not worth the services of another man. He surrenders himself to his vocation. Should the master get hot, the man will cry out. When the master's nose itches, it will be the man who sneezes. He will live for his master, sir, not for himself. But perhaps you find it difficult, sir, because you're the type that wears no man's collar, a proud free man. It is for that reason that I'm proud to be working for you. Will that be yours, sir? Yes, Horace. That'll be all. Thank you, sir. Second thoughts, huh? You bet there'll be some second thoughts. What's he done now? I've been his usual sweet tactless self again. It doesn't matter, but since you were instrumental in getting me this job, perhaps you should be the first to read my resignation. Oh. I guess I shouldn't tell you this, Fitz, because it's still supposed to be a secret, but if Dad wins this election, he needs someone to run the publishing business. Your father should stay away from politics. He has more power right now than a dozen senators. And when he's in Washington, the man who sits in his office will inherit that power. Not if Papa's still running things by remote control. He won't be. I'll see to that. You? How? You leave that to me. Father will be completely happy making speeches in the Senate while Steven Fitzgerald makes history here in New York. It's a very alluring prospect. Only I'm not so sure that's what I want. What I want, Fitz? Do you go with the job? If you want me, I do. You know I do, Frances. Then let me have that letter of resignation. I'd better warn you, honey. I'm saving the carbon copy. Just in case. Would it be the tall lady? Oh? Oh, yes. Miss Olga, yes. Ah. He had a fortune this month, sir. She'd make you a fine wife, sir. It's a very important decision. Marriage? Probably the most important decision in a man's life. Oh, indeed it is. May I ask you what prompted you to make it? Well, she's beautiful, for one thing. Oh, she is indeed, that's all. With a man's courage and a man's brain? Yes, sir. Or is there anything wrong with a woman's courage? You know, woman's blades? We won't discuss it any further. No, sir. You have something against Miss Olga, haven't you? Me neither. No one's forcing you to stay here, you know. No, sir. After the wedding, I'd be looking for another situation. Well, you don't have to make up your mind this minute. We'll not be all, Mr. Fitzgerald. Yes, it'll be all. Good night, Horace. Good night, yourself, sir. Oh, forgive me, sir. I forgot to tell you that I'd waxed the floor. It was very thoughtful of you, Horace. Good night. The Columbia Broadcasting System is one of those behind-the-scenes heroines of Hollywood, Margie Corso, head of the wardrobe department at 20th Century Fox. That's quite a responsibility, Miss Corso. It is, Mr. Keely, especially when we have a picture with as many gorgeous costumes as Jean Tierney wears in that wonderful urge. Old Egg Cassini did a magnificent job of designing those glamorous costumes for his wedding. Any girl would envy her. And besides that, she gets to own power in the picture. Who is excellently cast as a dashing reporter who writes scandalous stories about an heiress. This smart comedy with its highly amusing situations is just what the fans ordered for him. When we were fitting Jean's costumes for that wonderful urge, she admitted she adores pretty clothes. The negligee she wears in her dressing room are lovely. You take care of those two? Oh, yes. And with Lux Flakes, John Kennedy will be glad to know. I use them for all nice washables we have in the wardrobe department. Well, then you know how much faster and richer the new tiny diamonds of Lux are. Mm-hmm. And did you know that these new diamonds of Lux do more for you, too? They remove soil which other kinds of suds can't. Leave things cleaner and fresher. Well, I know they're wonderful for colors. Nice lingerie doesn't get that washed out faded look. You're so right, Miss Corso. Tests prove that wrong washing methods can soon fade colors. But gentle Lux care keeps lingerie lovely three times as long. So girls, if you want your pretty new slips in 90s to stay color fresh three times as long, be sure they get gentle Lux Flakes care. Thank you for coming tonight, Margie Corso. Thank you. Here's our producer, Mr. Keely. The curtain rises on the third act of the luck of the Irish, starting Dana Andrews as Stephen and Baxter as Nora and Cecil Kellaway as Horace. With a brilliant future at stake, Stephen Fitzgerald's been working day and night on the election campaign of D.C. Organs. With hardly a thought for Nora or for the strange little man who calls himself Horace. Now in his apartment, Stephen greets an unexpected visitor. He says, Stephen greets an unexpected visitor. His old friend, Bill Clark. He's from Bell and a Boon. Hey, aren't you the man who said he'd never come to New York? Well, I'm afraid I had no choice, Fitz. The spectator's calling in all his foreign news bureau chiefs. You know, consultation. Boy, am I glad to see you. Look, I don't know how long you'll be in town, but this is where you're staying, understand? Then it is your apartment. Well, sure it is. Well, I'll be giving it up soon. But meanwhile... Pretty expensive, eh? And a servant. Otherwise, he's on Orga's payroll too. Orga? You're still working for Orga? Well, of course. Oh, look, Fitz, you don't have to put on an act for me. What did you do? Told Orga where to get off, huh? Sure. And then he had you blacklisted on all the papers. That's why you can't get a job, huh? Have you been drinking or something? Fitz, you're going back to Europe with me, working for the spectator again in Italy. Hey, now, wait a minute. You see, Nora's cable arrived just as I was leaving England. Nora's cable? Yeah. Nora's made a little mistake. Mistake? She must think I'm broke that I don't have a dime. Bill, I've got that job with Orga. I'm doing fine. I should have known it was too good to be true. Well, hadn't you been explaining things to Nora? Yeah, I still have to. Why, I just haven't had time to look her up. What's the matter with her right now? Now. Oh, she'll be at that wedding. Wedding? Yes, at Cornelius' barn grill. I was getting married. But who's Cornelius? Why, he's Mrs. Crimmins' cousin's son-in-law, of course. Oh. Oh, of course, yeah. Well, I'll be on my way, Fitz. You won't stay here then? Well, thanks, but all the other boys are at the hotel, and I thought... Well, I'll see you before you go back to London, will I? Well, I'll see you tonight. The journalist club. I'm going to hear your boss make his big speech. They tell me it's his chance to recapture the speech. Don't waste your time, Bill. So long, Fitz. Yes, Horace? The tall lady, sir. She says she'd expect you to call her at 7 o'clock. The tall lady, sir. Oh? Oh, yes. Well, call her back. Tell her I'm tied up or something. Are you going out, sir? Yes, to a wedding reception on 6th Avenue. Came after all. Nora, I just saw Bill Clark. Nora, come along, girl. It's our dad. He offered me a job. Oh, I'm so glad when you believe it. Nora, the music started. Oh, Terence. Oh, excuse me. This is Terence Flowerty of Hook and Ladder Company 38. The pride of the New York Fire Department. Hello, Mr. Flowerty. How do you do? Nora, I... I smell smoke. Smoke? Oh, yes. Can't you smell it? Backroom, I think. Backroom? It's coming from someplace. I'd have a look if I were you. Clear the way I'm coming through. That takes care of Terence. Now, where were we? Mr. Clark, and the job he offered me. Just what did you say to him in your cable? Oh, I... I know I had no right to interfere in your affairs, but... even if it rung my heart to see you like that. But I have a job, Nora. A very good job. Well, then you lied to me. I didn't lie to you. You did so. Then it was a truth? How's that about your automobile and... your apartment appointment? No, don't try to wriggle out of it. Just go and try to find Terence Flowerty. Nora, you're not angry, are you? Of course I'm not angry. Poor Terence is making a fool out of him in broad daylight. But I tried to tell you, Nora, that all... No, it's not. You said... There's no smoke back there. Well, try upstairs then. Upstairs? Upstairs? Clear the way I'm coming through again? Ah, you're a wicked and deceitful man, Serum. And me filling you up with Irish stew. Well, it was wonderful stew. It was not. She put too much flour in the gravy. Oh, I... I'm glad you got what you wanted from life, Stephen. When are you going back to Ireland? Well, my business is finished. I have project on a steamer tomorrow. But you've only just arrived. There's no reason to stay longer. But, Nora, I have so many things I wanted to talk to you about. How do you still smell smoke, Mr. Fitzgerald? Certainly, don't you? Hey, wait a minute. What are you doing? Let him start. He takes your hands off him. But he still smells smoke, Nora. His nose needs a Justin. Anybody fighting now? I'm afraid I have to leave. Do you suppose if I sneak quietly out the back way... You should wait for a while. But I'm late as it is. Come on. Here, Stephen. And thank you for your company. Apologize to Terence for me, won't you? Goodbye, Nora. Goodbye? I was hoping you'd see me off on the steamer tomorrow. I'd like to. I'm going to the country for the weekend with my fiancée. Fiancée? I'm being married in a month, Nora. Oh, oh, I see. I wish you happiness, Stephen. Goodbye. Good evening, sir. I... Yes, I know, Horace. You didn't expect me home so early. What were you doing just now in the kitchen? Nothing, sir. I saw you as I came in. You were mending shoes, weren't you? Mr. Fitzgerald, sir. And perhaps you can explain something else. Just a few minutes ago, I happened to put my hand in my pocket. This pocket. Where I keep my gold piece. Only the gold piece was gone. Instead, there was this. Is it a bit of a paper, sir? Yes, a little black stone. But half an hour ago, it was a coin. From your part of gold. What sort of writing talk is that? I want the truth, Horace. Mr. Fitzgerald, let me go. Let me go! I don't know what you're talking about! What about that shoe I saw you hide? And what about the coin? Just take your hands off me. Take them off! I'd be happy to give you any information you require. You're the leopard corner. I am. What do you say I am? Well, that's for your mental condition. Just threw you a bit on the weak-minded side. But you're the same as you'd ever be. Aren't you a little lard for a leprechaun? Well, that's a page in my family history. We won't go into it if you don't mind. You brought her over here, didn't you, Nora? I didn't bring her over here. You brought her here yourself long ago. In your mind, Fitzgerald, a physical presence ought to have nothing. What are you trying to do? Ruin my life? I came to you, Fitzgerald, prompted by the noblest motives. Simple gratitude and affection for yourself. For that reason only, I came to dwell in your cold, inhospitable city. And I don't mind telling you, I'm a little bit homesick. My nose itches for the smell of peat and the eyes water for the sight of a black dawn in bloom. It's sad indeed that I've been unable to complete my mission, but I must leave you in failure. I didn't ask you to come in the first place. You'd be sure you didn't. But you see, I had learned to like you. I offered you gold. It's not my fault that you prefer the black pebbles. Oh, Horace. Horace, wait a minute. Horace, Horace, I... I'll be an honest newspaper man myself. And off the record, I wish I still were. Thank you. And in the second place, Mr. Orger should have someone in charge of his publications who agrees with him on the issue. Is this for the record, Fitz? What are your plans, Fitz? Sure, sure, you can quote me. As for my plans, I really haven't any, except to sit under a waterfall in County Clare in Ireland with an old friend. Oh, come on. What about your engagement to his daughter, Fitz? Is that on or off? Miss Orger's right over there. Why don't you ask her? How about that, Miss Orger? You gonna share that waterfall? I don't think I'm invited. But even if I am, as Mr. Fitzgerald would say, I'm afraid I'm not cut out for the job. Oh, sir, with his typewriter, as usual. The fine place Mibaru was turned into a literary establishment. I don't agree with the word of it. Why not? Because anyone who knows anything about conditions in Italy... Listen, I just came back from Italy. You sent me there, remember? Well, I should have gone myself. And if you don't like the article, you can give it back to me. I'll send it to D.C. Orger, now that he's safely back in the publishing business again. Who said I don't like it? I'll run it as a series, Fitz, the usual fee. Oh, it's this obstinate husband of yours. No respect for my gray hairs. And now, don't you listen to him, Nora. He's getting an Orga complex. Have a nightcap, Bill? Oh, thanks. Now you're going up to bed. I guess we'll go up, too. Good night, Teddy. Good night, Mrs. Terry. Oh, Teddy. You can leave that bottle on the table there. Oh, he had no intention of touching it. None whatsoever, I assure you. If you want anything, Bill, just sing out, and thanks. I want a wife like Nora. Sorry, there aren't any more. I'll remember that, Bill. If he gets all together unmanageable. Good night. Why it? What are you doing with the bottle? It's for an old friend of mine. Just in case he needs something to keep out the cold. Oh, oh, I see. Well, good night. It's there on the doorstep, Horace. It is I who say thank you, Horace, from the bottom of my heart. We'll return for their curtain calls in a moment. Say, Libby, do you want to look into this crystal ball a minute? What's going on? Well, I see a lady starting to wash her dishes after a big holiday dinner. And does your crystal indicate an unhappy ending? Oh, everything's going to turn out very pleasantly. Look, she's shaking something out of a dark blue box. It must be a box of luck flakes. It is. She's pouring out a stream of tiny, sheared diamonds of luck. Now they've melted away. And instead, she has six billowy suds. Hey, who's looking at this crystal ball? Oh, I can see the rest without one. Even with mountains of dishes, those rich suds last and last. Dishes go fast. The lady just rinses them and lets them drain dry. There's no need to wipe the dishes because these new luck diamonds dissolve so completely, suds rinse away easily. My, that woman looks pleased with herself. She should be. Her job's done in double quick time, and she's been economical, too. The new tiny diamonds of luck are thrifty because they go further and do more work. Ounce for ounce. They wash up to twice as many dishes as any of 10 leading soaps tested. Why not start the new year right? Try this thrifty luck sway of washing dishes. Get a box of luck flakes tomorrow. We'll return you now to William Keely. Our thanks to Dana Andrews, Dan Baxter, and Cecil Kelleway for an entertaining evening. And here they are. Dana has recently returned from England. In fact, he returned on that eventful voyage of the Queen Elizabeth. That was really an experience, Bill. There we were at the dock in Southampton, waving goodbye to everybody. 12 days later, we saved. Oh, that's a long time to wave goodbye. What happened, Dana? Among other things, the worst fogged in a few years appeared without warning. A scientific phenomenon usually caused by cool air moving over a warm body of water. This is in Southampton, just about 200 miles from Ireland. Well, yes. Yes, there wasn't cool air. Must have been a leprechaun. Anyway, we had a good time. Have you picked a play for next Monday, Bill? Yes, and a delightful romantic comedy. It's the Columbia screen success, The Mating of Millie. We'll have the original stars of the picture. Glenford and Evelyn Keyes. This is one of the most refreshing pictures of the year. And with Glenford and Evelyn Keyes, I know we'll have a hit next Monday night. Hey, Bill! Bill, I think you've got a wonderful idea. Jack Binney! I really think that's going to be a great show. Well, what are you doing over here in the Luxor Radio Theater, Jack? Well, Bill, you know, I'm moving my program to CBS starting next Sunday night, on my same time, right ahead of Amos and Andy. And now that we're going to be neighbors, I thought I'd drop in. Well, that's nice of you, Jack. Why don't you come over and do a show for the Luxor Radio Theater? Well, I'd like to, Bill, if I could find the right vehicle. I... I understand there's a picture coming out called Portrait of Benny. That sounds like it might be good for me. No, no, Jack, that's portrait of Jenny. Oh, oh. You see, Joe Cotton plays the lead, and you know, well, you're not quite the Cotton type. Well, I'm not exactly burlap either, you know. Well, anyway, I'll try and think of something for Lux, and then I'll be back. So long, Bill. Good luck, Jack, on CBS Sunday night. It's been a time for us to take inventory of our lives. Perhaps this year, we may ask the question, are there in America racial and religious prejudices that threaten our unity as a people? And having asked that question, we may then resolve that whatever blessings of health, happiness and prosperity 1949 may bring should not be only for a few, but for all Americans. The River Brothers Company, the makers of Lux Flakes, join me in wishing you a most happy new year. And we invite you to be with us again next Monday evening when the Lux Radio Theatre presents Glen Ford and Evelyn Keyes in the mating of Millie. This is William Keely saying good night and happy new year. And Baxter appeared through the courtesy of 20th Century Fox and will soon be seen in Yellow Sky. Baxter appeared through the courtesy of Samuel Goldman, producer of Enchantment. The luck of the Irish was based on the novel There Was a Little Man by Guy and Constance Jones. Join us next Monday night to hear Glen Ford and Evelyn Keyes in the mating of Millie. Any other type shortening. Spry's amazing cake improver takes guesswork and hard work out of cake making. Try Spry's one-ball method for glorious cakes. For all you bake and fry, Rely on Spry, S-P-R-Y. To the Lux Radio Theatre presentation of the mating of Millie starring Glen Ford and Evelyn Keyes. Stay tuned for my friend Irma, which follows over these same stations. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.