 Woke up with fistfuls of her back hair. Oh, yucky, yucky. Imagine that. Stop looking right. Yeah, it's sick. Are we live, Matthew? Yes. All right. Well, episode number 37, is it? Yeah, 37. 37. Wow. 37, mate. We got 37. We got 38. We got 39 and we got 40. There's four episodes left in the season, man. Hey, sorry about that confusion, everyone. That's my bad, all right. Yeah, that's OK. It's still, we got five to go. And that right there is why we pay you the big bucks. Yeah. Episode number 36. And, you know, we we just we sat down today and we you know, how we're going to do the live show for the season finale. We since we've only got five weeks left, we're we're tossing it up. We haven't. Michael, I haven't really done many public performance things before and we don't want to fuck it up. And we want it to be good and typical us. We've the time has gotten away from us. And we don't think that we can we can organize a good live season finale this year. All right. And it is fucking chaos with openings up and closings. You just don't know what's going on and not and just also the fucking the sheer amount of work that we're trying to pump out at the moment. But I'm glazed with sweat right now. We had a weird day like we're just filming so much. And it's just so we'll just letting you know now. I don't think that we're going to have a live performance this year. But we did. We made a pact and we said next year. We're going to do at least two. OK, maybe halfway through the season and the season finale. We even cut our like fingertip. Well, Matt didn't be scared, but we cut our fingertips and shook all blood brothers. We we we made a pact as blood brothers. You weren't awake, you were unconscious, Matt, but we did do that. All right. And so next year, we promise that we will deliver at least two live performances. We'll have James on board. He'll be helping to organize shit. And that will take care of so much. We'll have so much more time, so much more time. So we're very, very sorry to break this news to you guys. But we don't think we're going to have a live performance this year. But next year and next year's podcast. We've already started planning in a little bit. Let me tell you, fuck me. Can't we're stepping it up. It's good. Each season. We're going to get a better set. We're going to get a table. Matt's going to be we're going to get different angles. We've already got some awesome new segment ideas. It's going to be it's going to be wild off top, I'd say. And I don't say that lightly. He doesn't say that ever. That's like the third time I've heard him say that. Yeah, I know. Oh, my God. I didn't like it. I'm fucking losing it right now. Oh, my God, he's he's really pushed it. Yeah, dude, do you want to push those cables away from you? No, I can leave them. No, I'm living on the air. I can seriously. That's that. Yeah. Hey, while I'm looking at your feet, how are you feeling with that tone now? Should we do a stunt time today? I ripped it off. Oh, just ripped it off for a member dare video. Very good segue there, Matt. On the website dare video that is out right now, right? We took our website members dares and we did them. Well, we did seven of them. And Julian fucking he stepped up. He did. He had some shit ones. Well, we're going to do, I think, a social media version. That should be out as well. Yeah, that's like sense right now. So I don't think that the the tone our ripping will not be in the social media. And I got a whippersnipper up the leg. That probably won't be allowed to be in there. But Julian got a very fucks tattoo and just the. Yeah, you'll see. Go and have a look at the bloody social media or the website video. It's out right now. It's out right now. Yeah, sign up. The University of Michael, three weeks free, which is one of our sponsors, by the way. So if you want to support this podcast, all you have to do is sign up to our University of Michael. The link is in the description. You get free for 21 days to see if you like the content. We post a massive weekly video on there. It's like 30 to 40 minutes long. And it's just like real fucked up shit. I realize the other day, you can't watch the shit we do anywhere else. There's no unless you go and you go porn. Yeah, the collective content that we have, the science experiments, the fucked up shit, you need to go to the dark, dark web or order. Porn hub doesn't have people shitting on each other, does it? Yeah, I think you got to go a bit deeper. Yeah, well, I've never looked. I know what I'm doing later. Hmm. I'm going to fucking. Not that it's like a date. I'm going to try out some scat porn. Not that. Not that. Not that the website is like porn, but we just do some very fucked up content. So have a look. If you can't support the us via that, please like, comment, subscribe, the podcast. That is that is more than enough to make sure that this podcast being around a man. We fucking lover in the comments of a high last night and read through the comments. It's fucking good fun. It's fucking good fun, Matt. It's very nice. So thank you. And just fucking how cool is it? We've got a little family here. Everyone listens to this, this very, very knowledgeable scientific. And it's just a community of fucked fuckness, man. And it's just fucking beautiful. Feels like we got a family here. And the other sponsor, of course, is Manscaped. So if you want 20% off all your male grooming products, go to manscape.com and use that discount code fully actual 20 to get 20% off anything that you buy. That's a pretty good deal. 20% off. So if you need a ball shaver, which, in our opinion, is the best in the business, they got ball wipes. They got ball deodorant. They got just heaps of shit for your balls and your dick and just for your grooming in general. Smells good. Very good. Yeah, it's nice. It's just intense when it's in the eyes. Maybe you've got your balls, that one. So yeah, manscape.com, fully actual 20 for our discount code. Those are the fucking sponsors out of the way. And in fucking big, beautiful news. I don't know if you guys know that we've had a reach restriction on Facebook for 12 months. And that was crippling. We'd see people. We'd know, oh, how come you guys don't post anymore? So we are every fucking week. It's just you don't see them because Facebook doesn't show you. Now, the reach restriction is gone. And to my god, we have views again. We're like all of our old videos, all the videos that we've done for the last year have just been freed. And we've fucking, we've grown like 100,000 followers on Facebook in three days. So we lost over the 12 month period, what, 150? Yeah, so we, yeah, over 12 month period when we had the reach restriction, because Facebook doesn't show our videos to new audiences. So no one knew ever saw our videos. So we, you know, you lose a small percentage as you go. So it trickled down, lost about 150. And within three days, we've nearly made that 12 month damage up. Dude, that's fucking crazy. It's such a nice, it's motivating. It's good. Knowing that our videos will be seen by people again now and that they can go fucking viral again. Man! Dude, it's gonna be good until the end. Literally, like, we did, when the reach restriction started, we came out with some of our best work. Like the coin car, the AFL grand final, like storming the pitch video. Some good points. Like, I think in the end, those videos got Matthew Brown. They got less than one million views. And for it's in, because Facebook just stopped them. But now? Now they're free. They have a chance. They have a chance. So, that's that. We're back. We're back, baby. The website's been keeping us going and we fucking love the website, but Facebook is back. We can grow, new people will see us now. So fucking good news. We're in good moods, cunt. Yeah! Matt was in Tasmania. Yeah. Matt was in Tasmania for a week. How was that, Matt? Yeah, it was good. Is it babes there? Yeah. Tasmanians? Yeah. Do they, what's with them thinking that they're all incest and shit? That's just like the stupid thing the country's doing. Yeah, but surely that stereotype came from somewhere. Yeah. Surely it wasn't just made up. Maybe. But it's like how, what, so everyone in New Zealand fuck sheep? Yeah. Well, maybe a few people were. And then, yeah. Well, I'm pretty sure like Australians are incest and general. Yeah, because a lot of stereotypes are... And all Aussies ride kangaroos. Hmm. Oh, yeah. Oh, one day. We've been training. So you went to Tasmania? Van Demon's Land. What's that mean? That's the original name for the place. You didn't know that, did you? Van Demon? Yeah, Van Demon's Land. That is a shh. It was good. I went to, I saw some seals. I did a boat ride around Brunei Island. Saw some seals. Yeah, I work. Yeah, it was cold, but it was fun. And people don't have to wear masks there because they haven't had a car for a week. Oh, it was so good. Yeah, there was no, as soon as we got off the plane, as soon as you walk out of the airport, no masks. It's like normal, normal life down there. Yeah. Everyone's very happy. Anyway, but fucking, there you go, dude. I had to fucking move house on the weekend. Thank you very much for helping me, Michael. Oh, yeah. And James, obviously, couldn't, he was in Bloody Tassie. And fuck me, moving house. I forgot how fucking shit it is. Oh, dude, it's fucking hell. It's such a process because once you get all the shit there, you're not done. You got to put everything in a place. Park. You got boring that is? And the last place, bond clean, carboclean, pest clean, you got to get your fucking bond back. You got to turn the electricity off. Hang your clothes up on the fucking clothes line. Just have a button that you push in it all gets done. How is that not a thing yet? Dude, I'm pretty sure you can pay people to organize it. Yeah, you can pay for a lot. You don't want people going through shit. But I don't think you can pay people to call the electrical companies and say, oh, I'm moving out now. Because I have to turn the electricity off on the old place and turn the internet off on the old place and then turn it on on the new place. Oh, that sounds complicated. Like calls, just calling people all the time. Yeah, you're not a fucking businessman. Dude, yeah, what the fuck, man? You can't. You should be able to do that on the internet now. Like instead of calling. Yeah, just with a button push. Maybe space bar or something. Teleportation device. We should all have our own little electrical profile and we can just flick it on and off. 110. Fuck me. If we don't pay it, we can't flick it on and off. So it'll get better, better house. Yeah, it's a much bigger house so we can spread out a bit more. And Bosley has a bigger backyard to run around in now. So it's good. It's going to be good. It's progression. And yeah, so fucking that's our lives. And fuck me. Things are looking up. It's going to be a strong end to the year. And then 2022, I'm calling it right now, will be fucking huge for us. OK? We got plans. Stick around because there's some fucking cool shit going to happen. All right? Yeah. Cat on the back, boys. This is a cat on the back for that. Doing well. Doing well in life. This time a year ago, man, fuck off. Dude, well, that's when the retros fiction hit. Yeah. And like just shit was just fucking hard. It was rough. Anyway, let's fucking let's move around. We had a little moan, but it was a celebratory moan. So thank you, everyone who's stuck by us through that retros fiction. Let's do it. Let's get into the diary. Yeah, fuck. We've got shit to do. Let's get into the diary entries, everyone. Oh, yes. OK, I'm ready. Sorry, Kendall with that hair. Thank you, Matt. Same body as well. You have been working. I was looking at it. I was covered in glue, super glue today. We redid the is glue super experiment. Anyway, diary entry number one hundred and forty four from Michael Corey Brookhouse. Words are just sounds. When people were inventing words, I bet they just pointed at something and one of them would just make a sound and say frog. And the others would repeat it. And that's probably how words were invented. So if someone says, fuck you, don't get offended. Just remember that fuck you is just two sounds that were turned into words. Would you get offended if someone said, strip all fruck? No, because it just sounds that I just made. Anyway, I'm off to get some crispy chicken strips and some tomato sauce from KFC. That is fucking spot on, though. I've all fucking said that, like it is like, because you know how, but it's a choice to be offended. It's a choice to be offended. If someone makes sounds that have been made up and then that sound makes you upset, you've chosen to be upset. And not only that, you're placing your happiness into the hands of everyone else in the world and everyone else in the world does not give a fuck about you. So you need to be careful and not choose to get offended by everyone that says something bad. Dakota! That goes to you. That bitch would get offended at everything. Trying to stay. Anyway, that is, it's true. Words are just sounds. So there, good diary entry. Diary entry number 113 from Marty. Today I learnt what a wallet is. A wallet is something where you put money in and some cards that say who you are. I hope one day when I'm older that I have enough money to put some in a wallet. My dad uses a plastic bag as a wallet after he gets paid from work and goes to the pub. It was a pretty good day. Oh, that was a cute one. Oh. They're gonna grab his cheek. Gaw, he's so slappin' a bit. He's running in jail for that. Diary entry number 60 from Julian James Hanson Woods from Ashgrove, little some shit. 40, 60 to Lord Diary. Yeah, good day boys, yeah! Went to Grandma's funeral today and got a few awesome selfies. Can't, ha, ha, ha, ha. People these days are so too fucking sensitive. If I tell you you're a fucking dumb, ugly, cunt slut with shit-tits and bitch eyes, don't come fucking coming at me all upset, can't. I'm just being fucking honest. You should be saying thank you, can't. Holy fuck, I split some hole last weekend, can't. I must've banged like four chicks or no chicks. I can't remember. Whatever it was, it was fucking sick, but yeah! Stab, stab, stand up, can't. Big slash stab, can't. Stab! Ha, ha, ha, ha. Big slash stab. It's like a stab and slash. Oh, he's getting that from Fortnite, the big slash when he's hitting. Eyes out of Fortnite things, isn't it? When he's knocking things down. Yeah, there's fucking, is that, what's the thing that death holds? The little axe or, I don't know, it's like a little pickaxe. Yeah, the Grim Reaper, yeah, what's that? Is that in Fortnite? He was going on about that today. Yeah. Just fucking got that weapon. He's getting so good. Have you been playing him? He's been that good. Oh, he's gonna outgrow me, he'll go on his own. It sucks because he's so good at Fortnite, but then FIFA last night kicked his arse, made him rage quit. Just hear these screams of anger. It's because he dedicates too much time to Fortnite. Yeah, he's way too much time to Fortnite. Yeah, he's into shooting games. Anyway, if you want to play with him, add him. Yeah. What's his, is he, he wants such a shit. I don't know if he wants his thing out there. Yeah, maybe not, but he likes to ask. He always plays on his Twitch. Yeah, he's on his Twitch, go follow his Twitch. What is it, it's Julian Woods or something? It's Julian Woods, I'm pretty sure. If you're sending him messages, I want to play with you on Fortnite, he'll accept the message. Look, if we all try and get around him and support him enough and let him know that it's not like a nerdy thing to do, maybe he'll start Twitch streaming, because honestly, I want you guys to see it. It's freaking good. He gets embarrassed about it, like he goes red talking about it. His fucking hands are like a blur. His thumb, he's like a fucking blur. That's the sound it makes. His eyes go up, like he channels in, he doesn't even look at the screen, he goes up, it's like telekinesis shit. And he has his back facing the screen. Like it's so weird. Yeah, it's something about backs and backs, backs on backs. Yeah. Die Rancher number 1080 from Matthew Gregory Brown. It was a stunning spring day. My skin was pink and burnt as I laid on my front lawn. I was peeling a skin off roadkill I'd found for lunch and set out loud to myself. I've been training so hard and my confidence is higher than ever. But I just recruited my dad to help me. I haven't had the day to tweak myself in months. Not having any days off and training so hard is really having a negative effect on my mental health. And I bam! I was immediately snapped back into reality when the scent of a 14 year and four month old blonde girl towards the end of her menstrual cycle hit my nostrils like the planes that hit the twin towers. Looks like it's treat day to day. I lurched up off the lawn and turned towards my house. My neck's stung with hot excitement. Dad, I'm having a day off for my mental health. I screamed back at the house. Still facing the house, I pushed off and began bounding backwards with such ease that I would bound over entire backyards on a single stride. Still shirtless, I found the blonde girl walking with two boys her age. She was stunning. They were all talking and I saw how handsome one of the boys was and I became shy. I trailed behind them and kept my head down. I sped up and could hear what they were talking about. I must have been too keen as one of the boys noticed me. Oh, Yark, what does that guy have his shirt off? My skin went a deep purple color as I felt dramatically embarrassed. I put my head down and passed the three without making my contact. I heard them giggle. Then I felt rage, so profound that I wanted to change my name to quest it and turn back. You know, I actually thought you guys were gonna be cool, but turned down, you just don't get anyone else. The three teenagers were taken aback. They stopped giggling and their faces changed. They softened. Sorry, mate, we shouldn't have been so rude, said the boy. Yeah, it's not nice. Really sorry. As soon as the girl spoke, the skin on my face cracked, leaving a large, wide gap. I screamed in pain and a river of pre-cumjet shot out of my ass. The three teenagers turned and ran, watching them run off and made my brain fizz with lust. And I rolled my eyes so far back in my head that they did a full circle. I blacked out momentarily, came to and felt more satisfied than I'd felt in months. I slid that home backwards and had a deep, deep sleep with my father, cunt. Oh, no. That could have been a little bit worse. I thought they were in for a beating, but you just wanted to be friends with them. Imagine seeing someone's eyes go all the way around, goes up and then comes back from down on top. All right, very good. Still napping with my dad. Last week, we laughed at kissing. I sucked my balls quickly. Fuck, dude. Very good. Very, very good. All right. Next segment has been renamed. Very good. This is where we answer your questions that you come in on the Muddy Michael fully actual YouTube channel. And what we do is we go through and we select the most liked questions and we answer those first. So if you want to answer your question, comment it and then see if it gets the most likes. Have a scroll through, see which other questions you want us to answer and give them a like if you want us to answer that particular question. Keep the questions coming. Keep the comments coming. Should we smoke up? Yes. Bomb break. Top comment is from Ryborg6. He said, can we get some more on this days again? Maths research was top notch and always made me laugh out loud. Dire entries are funny too. We bring back the on this days. All right. Well, if that's what the... How many likes does that have? Well, 30. If that's what the people want, then that's what the people get. So we'll start with one on this day. Yeah. Maybe just a couple... Just chuck one on this day. I think we do one. Is that all right? Yeah, just one on this day. I'll find... I'll research some top quality content on this day and we'll just do one. All right. There you have it, guys. On this days, we'll be back. You asked for it. We delivered. Coming back next week. And top question went to Ryan Franz Ferdinand. Question for the podcast. Have you guys heard of the German metal band called We Butter the Bread with Butter? They have a new album with a song called... Maybe Marty can pronounce this. That is racist, Matthew. Pronounce that word. It is not... That is not a German word. You just did it so good. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. It's just German. It's German. It's German. Just like a German person, ha ha ha ha. Is that what you German talk like? Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. You fucking cunts. You can't fix it. You bite it and can't fix it. Hylian turkey! Sshhoooo! Thank you, young man. You look great! My apologies, young man! My apologies. My apologies. My apologies. My apology. My apologies. My apologies. Speaking of German, Nikki is working on her. She's preparing. She's doing all his hard work. Oh man, thank you, Nikki for doing that. She's sending more German phrases for the Germans and we'll return. She doesn't have to do this. We literally just have to, like, they got shuffled around. There's so many there, I reckon that we haven't done. We did a lot, man. We did a fair bit. Okay. We did three or four an episode. Three an episode for like 20 at least. That's like 60 cars, kind of. Okay. Yeah, for probably, by the time she's ready, it might be good for season four. Exactly right, mate. Season four. But yeah, thank you. That's awesome, Nikki. But no, we haven't heard of that German bad to answer your question. I can't even pronounce Ryan's name. Yes you can, Matthew. I want you to have a go, okay? Look at it. Sound it out. Put the sounds together. You can do this. Ryan Ferdinands. Ferdinands? No. Sorry. Disappointing next question is from Brad silver Marty, can you not chew into the mick while breathing like a Komodo dragon? It's hate Yep, I can do that. I think he's referring to you. I think you were eating Chinese last episode just as we started Yeah, yeah, we're in a bit of a rush then yes, I think I enjoy does get a bit of a reaction I remember doing in the prank haul with Darren last week and I was like showing a lollipop and I like added to the arrogance of down Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was character. That was perfect. Yeah, I but I enjoy it does really yeah, definitely bring it out when it's needed Look good. Oh, well, Michael's got his belly button piece from that David. It's infected as fun. There's like that's glue. Oh I've got a bit of glow on it, mate Next question is from Johnny Pepper Question of the podcast have you boys infested in any crypto? Um, yeah, we we've put a little bit of money We get advised by some fucking our accountant shit So, um, yeah, we put a little bit in just the not nothing just Bitcoin Ethereum we don't know all the like new ones. There's so many now. Yeah, so nothing crazy, but yeah a little bit All right next question is from Matthew Knowles. Um, what is your most embarrassing moment when you've been at a nightclub? Oh So many Fuck embarrassing well, usually we want we do something because we it's hard to it be be embarrassed But what about that disabled go? Munted as fuck both of us were it was the end of the night to start with the first story from the night Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right, so we're at some fucking bar or something in breezy and we is a cheeky little night out We buy some pills off some dude. We take we take one each and then an hour later Fuck they don't do anything. No, well, we pop the rest in our mouths We have the rest something two or three and then we're like, you know I start talking to these two girls and then literally like five minutes I still remember the second that I sort of was became aware of how we sounded it was like that it started really well they seemed like Like into us or whatever and then I just remember like Noticing that the girls talking to was getting a bit like uncomfortable and then and then I sort of listened into Michael's conversation And Michael was making no sense. Like the complete like And I realized that I would nowhere near as bad but was also slowing my words and was hard to maintain a conversation So while we're talking to these girls the fucking pills that if it hit us and hit us so hard We can't even fucking talk and then they literally just mid-conversation and both just not at each other and got up and left Matt you've seen me like munted Michael like this is where my face caves in and oh, yeah I've got a whole hidden folder And then at the end of the night we're like getting ready to leave there's like fuck all people left there's a girl in a wheelchair and Michael wasn't like it was a Stephen Hawking's wheelchair. It was like the holy grail of wheelchairs and Michael It wasn't just a fucking wheelchair. I don't remember this by the way Sort of talking to her but not really again Not really making any sense just sort of seeing their talking and it wasn't like in a creepy or sleazy way But Michael just sort of like so just just like friendly like lent in a little bit And she just fully like reversed and got out of there I will see you later She said That's the nights that me and Marty got up to I only have vision like a memory of The beginning when we're talking those girls and then once the pills hit everything is black. Yeah fucking Man fucking out big. Yeah, that came off a question somehow Next question. That's an embarrassing Munted nights out dude like I had a friend. Oh, I know I'm going to tell that one fuck it Yeah, we'll do more another time next questions from ill bendo 89. Hey boys I was thinking it'd be amazing if you could do a Christmas episode. Would you ever do a Christmas episode? Yeah, we may we're talking about it today. We've got what five episodes left of the season We're thinking about since it's a Christmas special. Yeah, Christmas special a special one for Christmas Yeah, fuck it. Well, like We'll have time. Yeah, what we'll do once we finish all 40 episodes this season that A week after the last episode we'll do a Christmas special, but we'll release it closer to Christmas And we'll also animate some dire entries in between too. So there's some shit coming out Get Santa costumes and shit. Oh, yeah, imagine if we animated like all the time trees I would watch that start to finish when I'm baked dude. That could be like that would be so entertaining to watch That could be the jail for me next the Simpsons. Oh, do you know what I mean, dude? Let's get more Let's get goop to do more of those But like the whole all of them like everyone yeah, let's eventually start with the best ones some of them are quite long But if I love to see some animated versions of Marty's the other thing I was worried about like imagine if This because some of the dining trees are pretty fucked up Like how would you animate that in a way where it stays up on YouTube or can you have fucking dicks and come and are you allowed to have Yeah, it's cartoon porn. Yeah, you got to be careful because it's an entire whatever it is. Yeah, so like I don't know Maybe you could have like objects like well, maybe we just released certain ones Oh, we just blur we could be animated, but we blur the yeah Yeah, I think they are more lenient with cartoons. Yeah, fuck have to be yeah. Oh Man, anyway, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. We'll definitely get some dire entries animated. Yeah, hopefully they stay up Next question is from oh man, I think he gave me shit about Well, Matt Brown ever say someone's name correctly at the first attempt So that was his second part to his question, but I'll try his name Uh, Kusana Kusana Nana Kusana Nana Next question is from Kusana Nana Marty, what is the what what is the worst state you've ever seen Michael in after a bender? He's been in he's been completely Unconscious it doesn't matter what I do to him. He's completely unconscious And I don't think that's that's a state that I've seen him in multiple times I don't think he gets any worse than that, but there have definitely been some times where we've been on MDMA Hi, and this is pretty fucking bad On MDMA and he'll walk up to me in the middle of a nightclub once and goes Do you know where the small dumbbells are? And I was like, what do you mean? So where the small dumbbells? I can't find them. I thought that we were at the fucking gym It had so much MDMA that he thought we were at the gym And then I was like, dude, we're like out at a club and he's like Laugh it off and sat back down But at the time you found me when I was uber driving I was like accepting fairs in the casino Another night out when we were fucking poor as fuck still and we were uber driving Mike we had a rare night out. I don't like it was like so red out of these nights So we went hard and we were at the gold coast or something And I look over at Michael. He's had heaps of MD again And he's on the not the uber app the uber drive app the app that you open when you You know driving passengers around and getting paid and he's accepting fairs On the app and then I'm like, dude, what are you doing? Don't you see you're gonna fuck your rating? And he's like, man, we gotta work man We gotta we gotta fuck They're gonna be fucking these poor friends. We gotta work man. I'm like, dude, we're fucking out You can't you don't have a car. It's like I'm so used to with uber driving every single weekend I had to be uber driving so I've probably just your brain just went into my brain It's what it knows Just what it's familiar like the front part was just dead and the back bit just kicked in Do we get that time normally that's what I go to Oh, very good. Good question. Uh, next question is from Rebskell. Um What did Marty's girlfriend say about her wheels when we stubbed him out? Um, yeah, she Oh, she wasn't she wasn't upset. No, she's used to that sort of shit now. And plus she has another car Um that she can use um at the moment So it wasn't that big a deal So and it's you know, the car's a piece of shit anyway, but yeah, so she was she was completely fine with it But you know, I do I'm on I do come home looking like a fucking freak sometimes And monastic just put up with it I come home the other day with fucking an eyebrow missing and my head Hair that fucking haircut didn't you have to go to like You stepped daughter's party on the weekend So you had to shave your fringe off Yes, I had a joint party and like all these also Esther's friend and all her friends were there with all their parents, obviously So I can't go in looking like a fucking psychopath with all these other parents So I had to I used like three different pens and colored an eyebrow on and no one knew was it legit Yeah, yeah, everyone thought no one said anything about it. I didn't notice anyone staring at it So I think I got away with it. Wow And yeah, I just had to shave that toughed off my head But yeah, very very awkward to be trying to be normal and normal people it would be hard Yeah, especially when you have physical fucked up. Yeah, and it's like yeah, even it's not it's fucking difficult for me in general To like it being normal situations and have to talk adult to adults Like it's like, oh Oh, yeah, it's tough days like and then but like looking like imagine missing an eyebrow And having this weird trying to make like a good normal impression on someone so that you know They're not scared to have their kids hang out with, you know, Marty, what do you are? What do you do for work? That's the one? Yeah, yeah, yeah Next question. I had Steve Brown and Emmanuel Of fail. I feel they both asked the same question. Um, are you guys planning on releasing? Any merch related to the website or the podcast? Yeah, we we did discuss this. Yeah, so this is the sort of plan We're gonna maybe release Something towards the end of the year before Christmas Sort of like slogans that only people that from the Exclusive exclusive to the website and the reason that we're doing that is just because we don't know the demand We don't know how many we're gonna sell so we just sort of want to we can get age Right And you know if during our merch week, you want to sign up to the free trial You'll you'll be able to buy them and then you can just cancel once you've bought the merch if you want to do that Uh, so that's a way around having to pay for our subscription and still being able to buy merch Yeah, but it's gaging from our members in the university of marco See how well the merch does there if it goes really really well Then we'll take the next stage because the what we don't open to everyone Yeah, because the one thing we want to try and avoid is starting merch and then not harming us properly like last time We did it. We just quickly. We're like, oh you're picking the Shopify Group shipping. Oh man, and like quality shit. We want it to be good stuff and Sustainable so we can keep doing merch. You know what I mean? Can you sell club? Can you sell merch through Instagram? Yeah, you can you can connect to shop. Yeah, you can connect. Yeah, dude. It's crazy these days come high tech sorry, um Next question is from steven haunt. Um, what would you guys do if you had twin brothers? Like what would I do to the twin? Oh man life would be a lot easier Yeah You could have you don't have to work half the time like twin is in the same look in his year And same personality. I guess so. Yeah, that'd be great Just have them have them in half the videos and then me in half the videos half less work Yeah, it could come in handy in things Halfless work and one could cool having like some dude That's you you could kill someone and and if you put enough thought into it you could 100 frame your twin That's what clones are for if twin would be like he's had the same amount of time as life as you So he'd be pissed if you did that and say that you did that if you just get a clone Fresh out of the fucking laboratory And then their brain hasn't had a whole life to question it Bang you say go kill that person and you go to prison forever. They'll do it. I've done it Really? No Fuck next question is from the other hunt Peter hunt. What are the odds of that both in next to each other? Um Question of the podcast if you worked in the adult film industry, what would your stage names be? And who would you work with? Um Stage name does that mean like my porn name? Yeah, what would your pornography name be? um Well, you'd be you'd be in my cool cunt And it would be spelled m y space c o o l space c u n t Michael cunt And I would get a sex change And I'd have a cunt. I'd have an actual a huge one High five up your guts. No, no, and I'd always have ice in it Hence my cool cunt like I'd have like it'd just be really cold In group situations, you could relax and the ice would fall out of your cunt. Yeah, and it would just yeah, it'd be big It'd be brown. It'd be fucking my cool cunt I think I'd just be uh spikes mcgon You'd be in scat porn. You'd be marty fardy And I'd be just I'd have like spiky skin Somehow be scaly like everyone that you fucked would have it turned into blood sex Yeah, you know it'd be for people who want like lizard fetishes lizard. Oh, yeah reptilian vibes Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah a spike. Let's just change it to spikes please Too late to just change it to just spikes All right, so my change has changed the stage name to spikes spikes. That's it SP Y Y Q U E Z SP Y Y Q you oh, there is Q Spike Spike Next question next question is from the juicy fruit. Um, she kind of a think to yourselves. What am I actually doing with my life? Fucking look this the road that we have taken No one's you know this job this job that we have it hasn't been around for very long. There's no There's no one to There's no one there to say oh do this. No, don't do that don't do this concentrate on this more We are just fucking winging this shit as we go and that's what it is. So, yeah, there are plenty of times when we're like What the fuck are we doing? What the fuck did we just do you just sit on my back? Yeah, I should say I've said that So, yeah, there are plenty of times, but we just all we're trying to do we just remember why we're doing it Yeah, it's trying to make some funny shit. We want to make people laugh That's it and as we keep focusing on that and that's all of our decisions come back to that And then yeah, you got that goal that main goal Oh, he's being so cute today That's enough about my german heritage Thank you Next question is from um Next question is from brooklyn bice One of our discord. She claims that she's number one discord. I don't know if that's true She did I just saw she fucking Got a shirt made up her own merch Oh, yeah brooklyn bice got a jumper and it's about julian's like 40 60 till I die. She got it printed on. Yeah, very good Brooklyn bice. Oh by the way, brooklyn bice. She reckons. Um, she reckons. I have veneers Oh Which um, lucky. It's not true. They're my real teeth All right, I've ground mine down over the years Hey, now they I reckon they used to be like this long like a good five centimeters long each now They're down a this yeah, but still less straight as fuck Yes, because I ripped one out when the wisdom teeth are coming through. I gotta bend one here. Wait there Yeah, you you got ripped one out, right? Oh, yeah, I should pull one out with a pair of pliers Is this has anyone else not like oh, there was a 20. I'm not even kidding 20 years Where I didn't go to the dentist. Yeah, I'm on a long streak at the moment. Oh dude It's fucking terrifying. I'm scared to go my biggest fear is the dentist. I'll pull my hand up I need my hand up and say I did get I did get insurance recently so I can start preparing to go. Yeah, it's like it's been a while It is fucking terrifying, man I'm just gonna go when something hurts So I had my wisdom teeth coming through and it crowded my mouth and one of my teeth started twisting Oh, yeah, so it's pushing your teeth. You probably need to get that out. No, I did. I just ripped it out Himself though this sick fuck because it was quite loose So I just ripped it out and then now my bottom teeth. It's all fine There's a couple that are fucking drunkenly. He's fucking splayed out count because usually they're not in There's not enough room for them. So it pushes along. What's that cunt's problem? He's standing and they've been bozzy. We're here for another half an hour Um, but yeah, usually you're you got to watch out your that your teeth aren't it's not growing that way Yeah, coming in sideways coming sideways What's that cunt's problem? He's just standing at the door It's had a gut full of our screaming. Yeah, this is screaming Anyway, brooklyn boys, go have a sleep. Maybe he needs to piss. Surely not. I'll let him out. Um, so brooklyn biases asked, um She says if one of you pegged it, which means I guess die If one of you die, would you replace them with someone in your circle to carry on or would it be back to uber life or woollies? Who's this? Sorry to ask a sad question. Wait, what if someone dies? No, but who dies? One of you Well, one of us. Yeah, so do you replace them with someone else or do you just continue on? Or do you just go back to uber? That would be rough. Hey, it would just have to be a complete It'd be a shutdown. It's like starting again. It's basically starting again That would be right not to answer your question, but I think you'd change your whole I don't think I'd want to be on camera for a while. I just I just do like fart content like I'd and prank calls. That's it. That's me done I just fucking Fart and film it and just make massive compilations cunt Yeah, you just and I'd get so fat I'd get so fucking morbidly obese all my hair would fall out of a wispy little mullet And my I had a massive dark bulges under my eyes My teeth would be all yellow and fucked and my fingernails would be 15 centimeters long Oh, man. Is it you turn into questants? Yeah Oh fucking what's the choir? Fucking um Yeah, wow, I'd probably go on a big big drug bender Oh, it's straight out of my nose. I don't know where to put this now under the table under the table clip it So I do believe brooklyn is campaigning in the discord to get on the On the background one episode, but I was thinking Can't just put her on well, maybe we do A whole group of fans for a background one day We'll get a screen shot of the all the constant discord Maybe and then all of us just chatting away and you can have the faces on there I could do it It takes some work But with some photoshop You could get them all to send a selfie in and I could put all the selfies together into one photo Wow, that's you speak photographer So and if there's any photoshoppers who watch out this podcast Have you got maybe photoshopping some funny shit together as the background? Oh, yeah I really um actually that's a great point I really want to start putting some of the photoshop works that people have been putting out So I've got a few of them. I mean to be posting them on the instagram Yeah, so I'd love to get some yeah some funny stuff. There you go If you know photoshop good and you want to send weird fucking anime or pictures of us Or even something combined pictures with pictures for it. Yeah go for it. We'll put it on the back and Yeah, I reckon that's a good idea with the discord people Send them to the backdrop to Send them to the fully actual instagram Yeah, if you're on discord send a selfie of yourself to fully actual Fuck me. It's already buddy All right, two more questions and we're done. Um Question for the podcast. Um, who do you like better? Do you like chris rock or eddie murphy? Um and also for fighting. Do you rather mike tyson or mohammed ali? Uh comedians, I haven't watched much of eddie murphy, but I've watched a bit of chris rock It's it's like it's chris rock is is a funny guy. I've never watched I'd go chris rock over eddie murphy and I'd go mohammed Tell you who's even better than both. Oh, Dave chappelle. Go watch his latest Yeah, Dave chappelle is very very funny guy. Fuck. I have to go eddie murphy over chris rock But I just enjoy his old stand-up. There's not much of it. Yeah, I haven't heard much of it enough of a day Yeah, I'm just going off movies. I prefer chris rockers movies. Yeah, what about one of the fighters tyson and ali tyson and ali I just go ali. Yeah, you'd have to go ali But even tyson actually my tyson is so entertaining though. Fuck his fights will fucks come See, I think ali would be entertaining too watching him some of his old it'd be probably similar to what year was ali Well, like 80s 70s. No, it's like vietnam. So it's like 60s or 70s. I think there you have it Anyway, should we get one more? Yeah Lot of questions guys. Thank you all for sending them in bloody. Love you. We're gonna get to toka. Oh, yeah Hang on. There was one here. That was very good Look at the piss has got a bit of sediment at the bottom now. Oh, um fly by night question for the podcast Marty, why are you german? That's pubes Hey, look mate. It wasn't my choice. All right You you you wake up one day and you're in the circumstances that you're in You can't choose it. You just you wake up and you deal with it and you move to australia as quickly as you can And that's what i've done here And i've done i've done germany proud Yeah, I might have left a lot of heritage behind a lot of family But I I see today is proud Well said It's always more emotional if you stand up. So that was fucking big I didn't even realize I was standing up then. All right. Um, should we just get into the peo box and then we'll end this Uh, yeah, do we have any fuck? Yeah, we do All right next segment of the peo unboxer. We're moving a little quicker now It's just because we looked at the time and uh, we don't want to be late to toka Okay, because it's our one Evening a week. Well, we can really just throw ourselves out there. Yeah, it's a good time to unwind All right. Oh, we do have a fucking we have mr. Kota again Every week all the letters were like that so I don't know what to do every fucking week that Same guy. We do have a box here though guys. So fear not going on What is it? Oh, marty, can you be careful with the boxes? I feel like I read a comment somewhere that someone was going to try and send a bomb in or something I don't know. Oh, fuck you matt Why would you say that to me right now? All right, so be careful. It looks friendly That doesn't look friendly Oh, what is it? Whatever this is is wrapped in blue paper. What he fucking got me Don't blame me. You said send weird shit in for yeah, you're right. We shouldn't get angry at you And this isn't the kota. What I keep getting the kota and him confused I rubbed my dick nut sack dick cheese hair from nut sack spat on it Lick it rub my bum and a toe clip of mine is in this letter. So where he's fucking he circled it I don't like what marty's pulling out circled it and that's where I was grabbing I guess Wash your hands keep that shit come I've probably gone and fucked myself here too. All right, do you want to open? Oh, no, that's just more paper All right, here we go. I'm now opening this package. I love blue paper around. I don't know. It doesn't look safe It's a Tupperware container, which is it? Tupperware container is never good Wait, I think we got some oh my god. Oh my god. Is it it's a Tupperware container full of cookies now We're not jumping to any conclusions, but we think these could be our favorite type of cookies. Anyway Let's read on Oh, they look like they are Hey ringworms. I bake some special cookies and thought I'd share They're strong. So don't eat them all at once. Oh, you have no idea our tolerance From I don't know if you want me to say you know, we'll keep it first name. No, it's all right, right? Yeah, yeah from angela Thank you very much, angela. This this is like Thank you. Holy shit, dude. This is what we like pop and one in this isn't this podcast. Oh pop and one in my mouth We're going to talk Oh, did you change the knife does that deserve a clap? Yeah, that's a clap. There's more there's more in the letter um PS thanks for the content always jump on the website after a shitty day. Oh, well, there you go. Thank you Not for podcast Okay, yeah, let's give her a bloody follow-up Oh man, angela, you are the girl save the day That's touching you get a bit of ball sack and dick cheese on your hand Then you get a fucking Little magic cookie Matt you're gonna have one Hmm Nah, all right Requested there you go angela. Thank you very much. We fucking love all the shit you guys send in Where's there's still another letter. There's still another letter. There's still another another Careful, no, I just look at this Matt. How's dangerous? Open it in my look at that. Yeah, exactly What have we got here, huh? Oh Okay Thank you for more codes. What do we got here? Okay, we got this guy who sent some codes. Thank you for the codes Is the fucking po box this we keep sending your shit there is our po box You fucking you fucking sent some shit and we open everything live on the podcast You want to send us some crazy shit send us some crazy shit? We want to send some cushy sense cushy. It's all entertainment. It's all just great You're adding to the whole community of it A po box. So we got an idea for the po box next year too that we think we'll take it to the next level What's that prank call time to finish the episode and this time we're using suggestion Sent in by none other than you you there you guys listening Okay in the comments last week's podcast someone had a great suggestion They said why don't you call a restaurant pretend to be locked in the toilet Saying that you're out of fucking toilet paper It is a good idea. It's a great idea. Fuck me. I hope this works. Let's see if I can keep them on the line this time Hello, um, I've just come into your restaurant and I'm just in the bathroom Um, and I've gone to the toilet and there doesn't appear to be any um toilet paper there Yeah, so I was just wondering if maybe someone could perhaps bring me a roll of toilet paper or is that too much to ask? Yeah, I will I've come into your restaurant. Yeah, so um The restaurant um the golden bamboo, uh chinese restaurant The golden bam. What's that sorry? Yeah, the the female toilets. Yeah, I'm not sure if it's the toilet. It's just a dark sort of room Yeah, the female Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, I've just sort of snuck in. I've just sort of snuck in. Yeah, and I've just gone to the toilet Yeah Yeah, I've just used the bathroom the ladies bathroom and there's no toilet paper here. I'm sure Inside the restaurant the toilet. Yeah, I'm in a dark room. It's quite dark here. There's no actual light So yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the toilet in the female toilets. Yes, that's correct. Yeah I'll we shoot Sorry, oh Yes, hello, sorry, I could hear you screaming in the toilet. Nobody answer Oh, I could hear you screaming. I could could you hear me? Maybe I'm in another room And maybe I've accidentally gone into the male toilets. Could you go and check the male toilets, please? Yeah, I'm in the sink. There? Yes. Hello. There's nobody in our bathroom. Oh, look, maybe I'm in some sort of storage Compartment or something. Do you guys have like a closet? I'm in a dark room And I've just taken a shit on the floor and I can't feel around for any toilet paper Okay, and it's sort of starting to dry up and caking on Look, I'm in a dark room. Okay. So maybe just um, maybe you need better signs on your doors All right, because I've come in to your establishment Looking to use a toilet and I've obviously walked into some sort of storage room and I've taken a shit All over the floor and all I'm asking is for a little bit of toilet paper, please Yes, from Sandgate Road Boondle. That is correct I believe I've accidentally walked into a storeroom. Yes, and it's getting quite hot. I'm getting quite humid in here Check the storerooms, please darling. I'm freaking out Yes, near the female toilets. I must be close Female toilet. You said the female toilet. Yes, the female. That is correct. Yeah Well, look, maybe perhaps I'm in another room next to the toilet Okay, okay, I'm sorry. It's just me you are okay. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. I'm sorry. I'm panicking It's just Okay, it's just the shit's really starting to cake onto my ass cheeks. It's quite hard Yeah, I must be looking and let me just apologize quickly for losing my mind there But it is quite terrifying It is a very dark room and now that I've realized that I'm not in the women's toilet I am terrified and the shit is caked onto my asshole. Do you understand? It's so maybe bring a scrubbing brush Okay, so Okay, so I'll take you through the way I went I walked in through your restaurant and I headed right and then I took the first left And then I walked straight and I must have accidentally walked into one of the other rooms I didn't see anyone as I walked in either darling. I didn't see anyone come in Perhaps one of the storage rooms. Do you guys have any storage dark cupboards or something? I believe I've taken a shit in one of your cupboards Okay, okay. Listen, maybe Okay, okay. Maybe if I maybe if I start screaming if you maybe walk towards the woman's toilet I'm gonna start screaming as loudly as I can Okay Okay. Well, thank you so much for trying. I guess I'm just It's just so confusing because I swear I read your restaurant name as I entered the premises I must have gone into a different restaurant. Yeah Yeah, that's so strange, isn't it? Isn't that strange? Oh my god, how embarrassing No, that's totally fine. How embarrassing All right, I'll see you later. Thank you. Yeah Yeah I think she said it's not funny. Okay at the end that's oh, dude. Oh, I like I would let her move in Yeah, what a nice lady guys. She is so nice and she sounds so sweet golden bamboo Chinese restaurant Go on go to their restaurant. No, that's yeah. Yeah. She's a small small business. Yes supporting small business Yeah, my voice is Fucking like man that lady is one of a kind. Yeah, she was very helpful As you all know The all our podcasts are demonetized. The only way we grow is through your engagement. Okay So we need you to like comment and subscribe if you feel like it All right, just um, if you can't think of something to comment Just comment the best or something comment comment comment. And yeah, please I guess It's fucking we got we are growing more than we usually do which is beautiful Yep, it's fucking and it's fucking it's all just word of mouth and it's just fucking good to see so keep it coming We love reading your comments. We love the support We don't expect you to sign up to our website or buy manscape shit All we ask is for a fucking like and a comment And we are The best We're the best. We are the best. We are the best. We are the best. We are the best Yeah, and what he said Man, my pupils are like fucking engorged. Can't we've pre come anal glands to humans have anal glands. Yeah Maybe some humans Let's get into it that was fucking off to tocker gold can't Oh Wasted so much of that ladies time That that is she was like I could hear you on phone But not in the restaurant. We could um, oh, yeah, that could be uh That could be the one that was very good. All right. I'm sweating from laughing so much I'm sweating from screaming so much. Here we go. So she would have been standing next to the toilet You're freaking me screaming Hearing the phone go off. I thought she might have put the phone down, but she's but she was there the whole time Are you done with your screaming now? Yeah All right, here we go