 Hello everybody. Welcome back to Esoteric Atlanta. Of course, my name is Bryce, and I'm here with my girlfriends I've got Stephanie from spiritual perspectives of our great awakening and Amy Amy able a little it's been a very long day of your recording all day and we were just talking about all these Holistic genie and of course I will be putting their links down in the description box below because if you guys have not subscribed to their channels Then you are totally missing out. I know that I'm a researcher but at the end of the day these ladies and I have a lot in common when it comes to self-healing and Shadow work and working on ourselves. Of course, most people know that's what I did for a living before YouTube But before we get into that we were discussing kind of comically Because if you can't laugh at this shit show you would cry About everything that's going on right now, and I was telling Stephanie say I feel like my nerves Are effing fried, you know, I've been through so much in these last six months and Truths are starting to come to light on a very public scale of what I've been through which has been very validating for me certain people are being removed that have Done terrible things to me awful things to me and I Thought that I would feel better when it came out But it's made me actually kind of go back into that trauma a little bit and it's made me kind of have to relive some of that trauma of betrayal and and I'm great when thankful to everybody who has reached out to me you guys Obviously you two ladies mean the world to me But all of our our friends watching right now meet the world to me too all the emails of encouragement Even if I don't get a chance to respond to you guys like you guys mean so much to me when you send me those It really affects me and it makes me feel so much better to know that I'm not alone in this and that justice is being served and I'm Wrongs are being hopefully made right and I just hope that the innocent the people that were caught up in the spell casting were caught up In the turmoil the innocent will be able to maintain their their dignity in their lives and know that we love them Even though they got mind scrambled that I still love them And so anyway, but with that being said, I mean so much shit's happening right now. My nerves are fried I've literally been shaking all day today Where do we start? I mean we know CERN was turned on which we'll have to be careful I'm just gonna say that one time guys. So let's just just in case because it's YouTube So I said the word once so let's now call it. What should we call it the party plaza? Both a battery the battery there we go I'll explain to you scientifically why I call it a battery. So We all think that the white hats have control of it and if if they Reverse the polarity it would make sense that all of these nefarious energy collection sites like the GGs and the Hoover Dam And these obelisks that are just mysteriously blowing up all over if if what if that's the case Not saying that we know for sure But if CERN's polarity was reversed it would make sense that all these things are blowing up because when you Reverse polarity on a battery it blows the circuits It blows it up So Wrongs are being righted. Yeah. I mean I I know people talked about the not garage Which is outside of CERN which is the Shiva the fire dance of Shiva as being bad And that really hurt me that Patriots are out there saying that because I'm gonna tell you right now if you're still under the delusion That these other religions are bad and only Christianity is good Then you're gonna have a hard time with this great awakening Because the not garage we even with the obelisk We know that the obelisk that were put up for nefarious purposes are gonna go come down but the ones that were originally used for Energy heart for free energy will stay up because they were put up for positive reasons And I was saying this to Shanti today off air. We were talking about it I was like what people need to understand especially if we look at this from a purely psychological point of view Not just not spiritual just psychological if we look at what narcissists do and we know that all Psychopaths are narcissists. They do something. That's called scorched earth So if the bad guys know that they're losing and they're gonna lose They're gonna make sure that we all go down with them. All right, so what do they do? They put out junk conspiracy. They put out disinformation So they are the ones that put out the information that the obelisk that was Osiris's wiener That was put out by the bad guys So that guess what we would do so that we would take our pitchforks and take them all down But what if that's the antenna for Tesla technology? Right, what if that's what our ancestors used in Tartaria to give it to give free energy God's energy, but we take them all down So we have to be really careful and I saw that with a certain thing with the not to Raj the not to Raj of People like all Shiva is the Lord of death. Well, if you just think Shiva is the Lord of death, then you're really ignorant Because that information is out there to research Shiva is one of the tri heads of Hinduism, it's tri head just like Christianity Vishnu Brahma and Shiva Shiva is also the deity who meditated for a thousand years He represents Thomas Guna, which is more of a relaxed Guna a meditative Guna Shiva's skin is also blue Because he took on all the suffering and pain of humans So a skin turned blue So we need to think about that So if there is a not to Raj outside of the battery Could it be perhaps that the bad guys were trying to manipulate That energy for themselves and now that the good guys have it in their hands The proper energies of Shiva Can exist I Mean just just a thought and so we need to be really careful moving forward with the way these energies are that we're not Going to extremities that we're not going it's polarizing completely the opposite direction because that in itself is considered a mental disorder First of all second of all it's not it's going to end up imploding our planet We have to remember that everything has shades of gray. Alright, so yeah So we just have to going forward in these crazy energies and I'm telling them to guys like I said I've been literally I've been texting all day Stephanie like I feel like my nerves are fried right now I mean, I feel like they're freaking fried and It's it's the end of a very long battle And we just have to be really fair when it comes to all these things that we don't understand yet And we have to and we have to have grace and mercy We have to remember that the Christ is some something that heals Right the anti-Christ is anti-Christ consciousness The anti-Christ is an energy that takes you away from your own self-healing, right? So that's anything from the media to education to the church anything. That's taking you out. That's taking that responsibility away from you Is the anti-Christ? The Christ consciousness is something that's your birthright and but you got to work on that and therefore with all that being said All the energies going on right now. We got to just be We have to we have to walk through this with grace and with mercy and with compassion Yeah, so the energies are really like and personally for me Like I've had this like and you know Bryce because I've been talking with you When you're texting me about your your nerves being fried. I have this sense of like urgency to like Go somewhere run somewhere do something But I don't know where I don't know how I don't know why and then like literally I have no motivation Then go ahead and do it. I feel like I need to do it. So we it's like it's like a lack motivation, but I have so much motivation and I don't know if that's just because I'm an AB blood But like it's it's like a super super restless but then super tired at the same time So if you fascinating to find out if other people are feeling like this to like if you do like on my channel You know for the comment section because I'm interested to see what people are feeling like But like I you know talking to people in like groups and stuff like that that I have it's like everybody is feeling like this Something's coming type of feeling like something is Happening, but we don't know what something's happening. Am I am I the only one feeling like this out of the three of us or no? I feel that way, too. I I Mean I have some pretty Pretty big goals right now and so I I've been kind of Running myself a little bit ragged just trying to get everything accomplished that I want to do But I know exactly what you mean. It's like hurry up and wait. It's like it's so I I mean I've struggled with like Feeling like I have so many goals to accomplish and then it overwhelms me. So I just like Stopped it on my tracks. This is this isn't even like that. This is like I I can't even be in my own body right now. I just want to kind of like run out of my body that kind of a feeling it's like um There's no words to really put to it I like it's like restless like syndrome, but my whole body like I just got a run Like an 80-year-old man right now I mean My whole life like I have at night time as a kid I try to run up the wall with my legs because it was just like that like feeling of like something like I Can't even explain it like creepy crawly feeling But yeah, it's like a creepy crawly feeling like I feel like I got I have so much to do and I have so much Things to accomplish and I just have to get out of the house And I got to do everything and I got to do this and I got to do that, but it's like No, I need to sleep I need to rest I need to I have other stuff to it. I can't even explain it I really can't yeah, I said this on my channel a couple of times about, you know Having complex post-traumatic stress disorder and there were things that I didn't know We're not normal until I actually went through trauma therapy and one thing that I still have to do even though I've been through trauma therapy, but once you go through traumas, you still always have like little It's it's kind of always still there You just know how to work with it and something I have to do at night speaking of running and jumping up the bed I have to lock my bedroom door every night I go to bed because I have the propensity to have night terrors Which means I will actually run out of my bed in my sleep. It started when I was in the eighth grade My mother once found me standing in the shower at two o'clock in the morning with my pajamas on just standing in the shower Another time my mother caught me in the garage In the I was like 14 years old just in the middle of the night. I had I ran into the garage Which gives you a little bit of an indication about what was happening in my life to cause that trauma at that age And I've worked through that trauma therapy, but it still happens And so and there even to this day I'll wake up with a panicky sensation in the middle of the night not having night tears I'll literally wake up and and beg what do I need to grab like I got to grab something to run and So I think okay, that's the kind of a feeling. I'm talking about race. That's CPTSD I don't know. I haven't had a good dream. I thought it was normal that people had nightmares every night I thought it was normal until I went to trauma therapy And and these are and so when we have these energies amplified, you know Sean Stone the videos I've done with him He speaks so eloquently when he talks about the macro and the micro the macro and the micro for half of this movement, they're only focused on the macro and The other half of us are starting to realize the macro is only a reflection of the micro All the darkness that we've learned about of these last couple years is only showing us to what our shadow side Has to offer us to work through and to learn in our triggers And that's kind of gonna be the focus of this video today because I've I've realized and and you'll have to forgive me Because I've been in this world for 15 years And so I forget sometimes when I say something or in some type of way that if someone who's not used to this It might not make sense. So you'll have to you'll have to ask me to explain further If there's something I say that that doesn't make sense. Just asking the comment section Because in the Western world, I think we've been so conditioned to separate our Mind from our body. We know that are you data medicine? Was is what is the oldest medicine in the world? It's where Chinese medicine comes from It is allegedly where Western medicine originated I don't know now based on our talks of Partaria who knows now what the true story is but Western medicine has taken such a giant leap from are you beta from natural healing? That they don't even resemble each other anymore, you know, and the Western medicine they're just Is petroleum based? Yeah, they don't they don't teach doctors anything about Health really they teach them how to write prescriptions and what prescriptions to give people for what symptoms and You know, I I fired my doctor years ago for not sending me to an allergist because I Had researched and researched and I knew that I had food allergies and I wanted to know what they were And she had me on six different medications at the time And I wasn't getting getting any better and I asked to be sent to an allergist and she refused And she wanted to put me on a third blood pressure medication And I don't have high blood pressure my high blood pressure was because of another medication that I was on So I fired her and then I did an elimination diet because without a referral for my doctor my insurance wouldn't cover Allergy testing so I did an elimination diet to figure it out myself And I lost all respect for Western medicine at that point Have you ever checked your dosha and me because I can send you stuff for your dosha too? I looked it up briefly, but I wasn't I wasn't Very happy with the websites that I did find and then I send you stuff Websites sometimes aren't gonna give you the full the full scope. Anyway, yeah, it's exactly that and that's the way Western medicine or Eastern philosophy kind of kind of looks at things According to Eastern philosophy, there's no such thing as disease According to Western philosophy. There's no such thing as help issues If you have something wrong with you, it's your body telling you that there's an imbalance That's all it's doing and it's not gonna go away Until you deal with it. What do we mean by deal with it? You got to do the inner work You know, I shouldn't bring Shanti on to a part We could do a follow-up on this too because Shanti was diagnosed with breast cancer from Aquarius rising up because she's talked about this a lot And when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she immediately decided she wasn't going to go the Western medicine Roots because she knew it was her right breast She knew that went into masculine problems And so she did a deep dive into her energetic emotional body and she cancer went away And that it's with everything with diabetes with cancer with all cancers with you know, we're not doctors I got to put that out there for liability. I'm just saying that When you start to do your own work on yourself You start it's hard, you know, somebody asked me what is shadow work? Basically shadow work is having is leaning into the things that make you really uncomfortable It's and find a process to find a process find find a support group Look online how to work through triggers There's some videos on my channel on how to work through resentments and what trauma bonding and codependency are You know, there there are all kinds of things that you can research and read about to help yourself You know, if you have any kind of of condition like Bryce was saying Look into doing shadow work. I mean, if you just type in the keyword shadow work a lot of stuff will start to come up it's just You know a good a good way to do it would be to start with an inventory an inventory of your life like list off all of the Traumatic events that you've had list off all of the resentments against people or institutions or places that you have and then Dig into that, you know There's there's a lot of stuff that you can do and another thing that's that is a diagnosis that is given to a lot of people is fiber myelgia and I'm not saying fiber myelgia isn't real. I experienced it for no, I have my own I can talk about what I think of that because I'll let you finish and then I'll go into my story on that so I have Fiber myelgia for a number of years and was on quite a few medications for it and After a couple years of being on medication and it wasn't helping me and I just kept getting worse and then I had Symptoms on top of the fiber myelgia from all the medication You know, I just that's when I fired my doctor I was like there's got to be Something else I can do like I am not going to live the rest of my life like a cripple I mean, I couldn't do anything. It literally could not do anything. I I barely functioned it barely function We were having money troubles and my husband at the time said, you know, you're gonna have to go get another job And I was terrified. I was like, I can't barely even get out of bed. There's no way I can do more than what I'm doing It was it was It was no way to live and it's absolutely no way to live, but you can heal from it I don't have any issues with that anymore at all. Occasionally I'll get, you know, a headache, but usually Like Bryson and Stephanie were saying if you do the work and listen to your body and try to find the root cause of The headache or whatever it else is that's ailing you if you try to find the root cause of it instead of covering it with a Band-aid or trying to escape it, you know, it'll go away much faster being addicted to it People literally have addictions to their health problems. I think that's another form of trauma bonding I was about to say because you said trauma bonding and that's a huge one That's what keeps people in abusive relationships. It's what key. It's all like a form of Stockholm syndrome almost Stockholm syndrome is the worst form of trauma bonding, but there are there are many more and they're usually really subtle Yeah, when you're in the relationship and it doesn't have to be with a partner it can be with your mom it can be with a co-worker a boss doesn't have to be with a partner and You know, you don't even realize that that's what's going on because it's so subtle and then and that's the thing with abuse It can be so subtle that you're like, oh No, that's that's no big deal. You know, we were talking about that before you came on I mean, I'm because that's the big difference between complex post-traumatic stores complex post-traumatic stress disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder post-traumatics from what my trauma therapist explained to me PTSD why you see it most of the time in like military people is because it was one event One big thing happened that caused them to go into it a trauma response where it changed their their mental Complex post-traumatic stress disorder is harder to diagnose and it's harder to treat Because it's layers and layers and layers of subtle abuses and it usually happens I always tell people all the time I would have rather grown up in a home where my dad beat the shit out of us Than the mental and emotional crap I went through because that is what and it took me dating all these really nasty guys to the point where I was in my early 30s and I was engaged to someone and I got strangled one night and If I if the dog had not shit on the floor because he was so scared, I probably would have died Because when the dog crapped on the floor, that's when I was dropped and I had to call 911 and That sent me and then I went to some therapy after that But then what happened after that was I was doing second series and I shone yoga every day in the shala And I would start to shake uncontrollably. I would just my body would start to shake and the teacher was like This is a nerve response He made me watch videos of military people shaking the same way He was like there's something and so I went to trauma therapy and it's and I thought it was just gonna be about that one X I had but what ended up happening in trauma therapy is It didn't start with him I had to go all the way back to my childhood to start to unravel things and go through EMDR therapy And after that I now Since have not had that type of person in my life because I healed that wound Right. That's the shadow work. But yeah, Stephanie. I know you talked about several. I'm not several palsy Um fiber myalgia as well. Um as an as a what it was an immune. It's a me. It's an auto immune disorder Which what does that mean? What is what it does? And most people don't tell you it's an auto immune disorder Actually a lot of doctors don't even believe in the diagnosis Well, let me and well, let's talk about that. What does auto immune mean? Okay, so in eastern philosophy and eastern Not no auto immune diseases really exist. Yep because auto immune is your nervous system is attacking itself Yeah, it's finding something in it's almost like it's a foreign object in the body and it's trying to push it out Except it's the nerves. So it's attacking itself. Yep. What is anxiety and stress due to you? You were attacking though. Yes, you're attacking yourself. Your nerves are shocked. So my theory On fiber myalgia comes from a few different sources so when I Used to ruin patients for a career as a medical assistant I said thanks to patients that I would have gotten fired for Nothing bad. I would literally you know for an example of some if if a doctor was forcing a patient to get a flu um thingy Yep And in the in the patient was like super against it. I'm like, that's your body Don't do it because the doctor's telling you that's your body. I I was very honest Um, and I had a lot of people say I feel like there's an agenda behind this and I'm like, yep In and I could have gotten fired for that But that's that's the kind of stuff that I mean, but I had a lot of patients come in And they would say how they have fiber myalgia and yada yada and I would say to them How much trauma have you had in your life? I just knew Oh, well, I was in a car accident. I was in this bad relationship. Yeah, I had child Abuse and yada yada and that kind of stuff and I'm like, yep So then I knew some of the source had to do a trauma Now one of my favorite not my patient, but a favorite patient would come in She has um multiple sclerosis And she actually got off all her And has literally been helping her healing herself. She's a tarot card reader and a psychic medium And she decided she was going to heal herself And she has baffled doctors because she was told you're going to end up in a wheelchair and never be able to walk again Well, she started to train herself using a dog leash On her foot to get herself to continue to walk She never gave up. She had bad days. She'd have good days. She had bad months. She'd have good months But she's been training herself to walk again And she's been healing herself because she is just a very old soul and does not believe in the Giving her and she's also using medicinal Yeah, you know where i'm going with that I'm not sure if that's a trigger word on you too. So she's healing herself with the cannabis so But anyways, we'll see and let's talk about that but we'll be careful what we say But so if we look at what the word sorcery means, what's the greek word for sorcery? Pharmakia which converts Where that's not pharmacia. That's all natural herbs Or like herbs and and mushrooms and all these things They're demonized So he took petroleum And he converted it he took The the the herbs that are healing and he then looked into well What about them as healing people and then took it twisted it converted it using petroleum I did a whole deep dive on you know myself Which is where you get the western medicine and he demonized um You know herbalists, you know anywhere and so That we're standing up for their Their beliefs in and herbalistic treatments, right? Which is what god made god made exactly. Yep So anyways this patient came in one day and she goes You understand that your fibromyalgia diagnosis because you're an m-path and have gone through severe trauma And that you're holding on to that energy and all of your fascia your muscle your bones and your soft tissue in your body And I said holy shit Oh my god, you're correct It just like Duh, you know, so my thing is For the diagnosis like that where your body is literally attacking itself And it does and I this is what pulled me out of work is my that diagnosis I got so freaking sick And I couldn't function at work kind of like you I mean you couldn't get out of bed It got to the point where I was driving to work every morning Trying to rush to work because I was waking up solely which is unlike me. I'm a morning girl I wake up easily in the morning And I was balling my eyes out for two weeks straight before I finally could not literally get out of bed Like I but it's like god used that in a good way to get out of my job So it was a blessing Even though I struggled a little bit right after and everything and I went through a lot of hardship, you know financially after that but In terms of fiber myelgia, it's literally trapped energy. Yeah, that is making your body attack itself It's trapped energy Di diabetes is trapped energy heart disease is trapped energy It's all it's just trapped energy that needs to be transmuted Yeah, and so why does certain energy go to certain places and create certain issues? That depends on what the energy is Is focused around so if you look at heart issues, you know, it's from the very simplest of forms Like when I work with students who have had a lot of heartache, which is me too Let a heartbreak betrayal. They do this They're hiding it they're hiding their heart Because it's been hurt so much and so My job isn't to help them open it So if there's fears around survival around money around that's going to be a A root chakra a mulladar issue. So you're going to see weight around that area possibly you're going to have lower back pain How many doctors if you if you have lower back pain, which is common how many doctors have said, oh Are you afraid of being homeless? Are you afraid that you don't have enough? To be on this earth Instead of saying here's some more pills. Here's a steroid injection So that's what the shadow work is and again as emmy said there and I have the same thing with Arthritis I in my early 30s was having such a problem with arthritis I was like an 80 year old woman and I was on a medication and I would have to go in every six months and have my blood Take against they could check my kidneys which tells you that that was terrible for my kidneys Um And when lockdown happened I couldn't get more medication that forced me to go through healing for my arthritis and guess what? I haven't had a flare-up since I hardly ever have a flare-up and what I want to see too is When we're talking about ways to do shadow work and to work through this energy and transmute it I learned this from you brice. I'm not going to take the credit because I learned all of this from you I'm learning it firsthand I think emmy you're starting to do this yourself is working out Yeah, I was going to go to that next because what is a great way So if we look back at a lot of these old religions like the priestess the priest and priest sort of isis These old eastern religions They had mandatory exercises that they did mandatory Why? They weren't trying to look good in a bathing suit Um Because the body holds information And so when we put our body Into an uncomfortable position And we start to move the joints in different ways So again when we look at things like the moladara molabunda They do that a lot in bar where they're having you literally pull your pelvis in You are on sticking things or they have you move the pelvis. You're starting to unstick things And and being able to push the pelvis forward is also forcing you consciously or subconsciously to strengthen your perineum Which is the root of your shishuna. What is shishuna? Shishuna is the sacred channel that runs up your spine that carries your christ consciousness Otherwise known as kundalini kundalini is not bad. It is christ consciousness And what happens is when we are holding on to our work To our karma. That's all karma means is work Our chakra points in the body these cycles. They don't stop. They either get really weak or they overspend And so the this this these windmills of energy can't quite Get things to run up that shishuna Now if our perineum is weak too, guess what happens? We lose energy. It just comes right out of us, right? And so these exercises like these ancient exercises like yoga, and I think bar does a really good job with this Um, even though it's a newer thing work on essentially you Finding these pockets of information within your body that are going to release Knowledge So what does that mean? That means that when information comes up You might feel all of a sudden like you're going to cry You might feel like you want to run. Yep. You might feel like you just want to start cracking up laughing sometimes Yep, so sometimes that information Listen, I still and it's never ending. I still go through it Sometimes that information comes up and you're not going to actually have the story You're not going to know Remember the the action that happened to cause that emotional attachment. That's not important What's important is that feeling? Oh my god. Why am I sad? That's betrayal Why do I feel like I'm going to be betrayed and you start always the same movements to that Because one time is not going to bring all of it up at once. So it's like specifically with the pelvic tuck stuff That's when I'll start to cry Then there's other different movements where I might feel like really happy or I I might get super depressed all of a sudden it goes away. I mean it's that doesn't stay there But and and I just I acknowledge it when it comes up And if I have to cry, I just let it come out I know I'm not working out in front of anybody except that one time where we were in dc With very very little space doing our workout before we went on our little gallivanting day Um And I saw you can cry you can have snot coming out of your nose. Listen. I've been farted on multiple times I have had bodily functions Fluids fall on me from student. Listen. I've seen grown men cry. It's you you can I find crying in front of you I just I wasn't I it doesn't happen every single time I work out. No, it will I noticed it tends to happen after maybe I had a rough night or Maybe I I ate something the night before that probably was not good for me because that's also energy Is I'm sorry. I've noticed Things that I do or ingest or Let's say I had um a beer the night before I don't drink a whole lot of alcohol, but I will have like um beer like wine with my dinner sometimes Maybe a couple times a week and if let's say I drank the alcohol When I was not to do good mood like I'm I'm a happy I don't get drunk, but If I do get tipsy, I'm happy usually unless unless I drink vodka and then it's like I literally have reruns of like all the terrible things I've ever done in my life and decisions I made throw up a few times and hug the toilet waking up after blacking out which has not happened in about 10 years Thank god. Thank god. I recognize that so Anyways, if I do 10 because that's a lower vibrational thing. You're ingested now If I do something like that like the next day in doing my workout I might notice that I'm a little bit more on the more emotional side because I may be releasing that energy that may be that Last night triggered and stuff like that. So I I'm I'm gauging like different things that I'm recognizing. I'm recognizing how my body works I'm recognizing how my body responds to things different triggers and Instead of running from it. I kind of just work with it. You know, I mean, I think it's for your own your autonomy And you have to and I want to get to something because emmy you've had some experiences too But you get to the point too. What's really important as well We have something in the yoga practice called tapas not the appetizer tapas. It's heat And so this is why it's super important. So if you're doing a yoga practice, it's quite super important to sweat Because the sweat is what's moving and flushing the energy out, right? It's what's flushing through the muscles So not not only is it physically flushing toxins out of your body But it's also taking when you're triggering that muscle you're triggering that energy cycle through whatever exercise you're doing The blood and the sweat that's pumping through your body is then going to come through and it's going to pick up that energy And then move it and present it to you. So if you're going to a yoga class and you're not sweating You're not doing yoga Right, you have to sweat and you've picked up something to know emmy you've been doing Um ashtanga. So you've been doing the same sequencing every day and it that's extremely important in traditional yoga I don't know where it came from that people would do different classes every day If you're doing a different class every day You're just skimming the surface, right? Because the more you do these postures and you put these different shapes The deeper your body is going to drop into the postures The more it opens and the more information is going to start to come out And what you talked about Stephanie is called autonomy So part of the healing work that we do is we start to gain autonomy over ourselves We start to recognize our own patterns We start to recognize this morning when I got up and I started my my practice I was really tight And i'm not a tight person You know it that's not i've been doing this for 15 years But I know now that when I wake up and my body feels tight that means that i'm depressed i'm sad okay Okay, because I've been really um, I've been really tight the last few days And I just I've had some stuff coming up because I am taking a class And I have these goals that are so far out of my comfort zone And shit's getting real and it's like oh my god And also something you said brice um That when you have a c-section sometimes when you begin a yoga practice you can finish the birth That happened to me also My my my last my last menstrual cycle lasted 10 days It was the worst I have ever felt the cramps felt like contractions the bleeding was so heavy And I cried every single day Yeah, and wow, you know when It came to mind. I I I was like why Why is this happening? Like what is going on? And then I was doing yoga that day and what you said in a video I don't remember what video it was. It was like, I don't know within the last couple months um, you said that Women you have c-section sometimes You know they'll have it's a it's a birth trauma having a c-section is trauma. It doesn't matter It doesn't matter if it was A good experience or not that is a very unnatural way to have a baby and yes, it does save lives I'm not you know knocking c-section. Sometimes they're they're absolutely necessary But it is a trauma and your your body is is stunted the birth process is stunted And it affects everything it affected my hormones it affected my milk supply Like it took so much longer for my milk to come in And then I didn't produce as much as I did with my other children And you know it c-sections just really really affect a woman and we just don't know Yeah, because they don't know that it but it makes so much sense right like yeah anytime from what I know I know as as a teacher anytime and I've had multiple operations myself So I anytime you cut open the body You are then technically considered a trauma patient because the body has been cut open now and multiple times I have a big scar going across my stomach side my appendix out when I was 12 at that point I know that with the new medicine we're not going to have to do that stuff But that saved my life at that point So it was the lesser of two evils and i'm entirely grateful to the surgeon who took out my appendix because he saved my life But yeah, so when you if you have to have a c-section in that moment It's what has to be done to save your life in the baby's life So it had to be done But what they don't prepare you for is that because Your body didn't get to finish what it started. It's going to hold that energy And when we do this shadow work when we start to work in the body again, the body then goes And just releases it Do you this applied to for miscarriages? I don't know. I've never heard miscarriages brought up with finishing. I guess it depends on at what point the baby I'm talking like late term Unless you're livered do some women deliver Yeah, some actually, you know, yeah now that you say that that they some people do have to deliver And then if it's early on you might need to get a dnc. So they scrape out everything I don't know that I would have to look into that but i'm sure that's i mean that's emotional trauma I knew somebody who had a stillborn and they took them a long time. I can't even imagine And they had to deliver They had to deliver. So I know that that was it was very traumatic and it took a long time before she was even willing to try again for another child they now have to help the children but You know, so i'm sure that that is incredible trauma that I would definitely Suggest seeing a good trauma therapist for that because that is intense stuff that you need to work through You know, um for sure But I will say too. So so what starts to happen is we start to experience these sensations in our practices and in our workouts and when when I talk about working out for Shadow work, I want to be very clear because I've had people ask about this kind of stuff You have to pick an exercise. It's going to force you to be in your body So if you're doing something like gardening Playing in the pool with your friends. Yes, technically you're exercising But you're escaping because your mind is focused on something else You need to do something that's going to force you into your body It's going to force you to feel the sensations of your body You know like the bar like the yoga like running if you're swimming like let lapse that's great because it's going to force you into yourself So I would suggest and that's that's the thing about shadow work too is what's the first thing we want to do when that trigger comes up We want to escape It's uncomfortable right So we have to do something that's going to force us to acknowledge that and that's what I do even to this day Listen people say to me all the time. They're like I tried exercising. I didn't like it I don't like it Listen, I promise for 15 fucking years. You think I like it. You think I every day every single day I wake up and I think oh should I just sleep in every single day But I'm disciplined and I get on my mat and I do it I don't like it half the time. I didn't like it this morning. I was miserable this morning, but I did it That was me yesterday morning and I was super like You guys are talking about muscle tightness. Oh my gosh like same same and I've been feeling very miserable the last couple days But the energy so and yesterday I literally wanted to just stop off. I did everything I could for 20 minutes to avoid working out I'm like I gotta get the dog's water I gotta take her out again. Oh shoot. I gotta pee now Um, you know my hair. I don't like the way my hair is right now I'm gonna redo it because who the hell cares if I'm working out. It's gonna look like I'm a Fricking lion anyways, you know by the time I'm done because I'm sweating so much and I got frizzy freaking hair Everybody gets alberdine sign hair. Everybody gets alberdine sign hair I mean it was like anything that and I wasn't doing it intentionally either But what I will say is after a few times of saying, oh, I gotta get this done. I gotta do this I'm like, oh my god. Why am I avoiding working out today? Why I've recognized it. So I was actually impressed. I recognized it because normally See I wake up at 4 35 o'clock every morning. I would say five days a week at this point I'm working out And I just put my workout clothes on and I just do it after I take the dog out and feed my dog That's actually a huge motivation is my dog is part husky and huskies like to wake up early And if you don't wake up, they start to howl at you Okay, so I have I have a back talker. She likes to back talk me. She made a soul contract with the girl to get your ass out of bed No, I did she did she certainly did and so I have to take her out and you have to feed her right away Because she's like looking at you like for mommy. I'm hungry Like final freaking feed you instead of feeding you an hour from now Okay, because she loves her food as brice. No, she love doesn't she love her food brice? She saw our camera tonight. Like she was like So, I mean that's my motivation to wake up. It's one of the things that you know forces me out of bed, but even so um Normally just wake up put my my workout clothes. I just I just do it Well yesterday morning. It was just like No, we're not But no, yes, we are no or not. It was like this internal battle I had with myself, but I recognize Why am I avoiding this? I have been miserable all week. I've been on edge. I've been like I've had to kind of face a few things that I don't want to face and you know, um Yeah, it's just one of those things. So no one likes exercise. I will say this I feel very lost on the days. I don't exercise and I feel very clear minded I didn't work out this morning because today was my day off It was just my day off So I let myself sleep in a little bit not too too late because I actually feel sick if I sleep in too Too late. I only need four or five hours of sleep to function for my body anyhow And eight hours is way too much for me. Um, but Um, was I gonna say so oh my god, I was gonna see something really important. I totally forgot what it was Um, I'll say too while you're what you brought up a good point. So like, you know, if you do recognize certain Things like today. I recognize I didn't want to I took me a while to get on my mat too And I realized I'm really tight. Oh my god I am depressed because sometimes sadness we can mask sadness We can busy ourselves to convince ourselves. We're fine. It's like that episode from friends where he's like, I'm fine I'm fine. I'm fine, you know And so what did I do when I was done with my practice and I was in my resting position? I I actually had compassion for myself And I sat there and I said listen Your trauma that you went through these past six months that was awful was public And it's coming up again in a very public way And that's what you're feeling right now And it's okay because it was hard And it's okay, but justice is here It's okay if you're a little tight It's okay Right. So when you feel these things come up You don't have to get mad at yourself. You don't have to punish yourself for being a fucking human being like this is This is the human condition. We're going to be dealing with this until the day we die And I also said something to you one thing Stephanie that is big in the this the spiritual world that We see a lot is this idea of toxic positivity Which I think we've all had a taste of Intoxic so if you feel the need to cry if you feel the need to mourn That is a part of the grieving process And you need to allow yourself that time. I know you said something Stephanie about your child and my child I was told to cowgirl up You know just to hold it in But what does that happen when you hold it in and you go, it's fine. It's fine It's fine. You push it down and it starts to build up and then it becomes fibromyalgia becomes cancer. It becomes You know and toxic positivity. We see that a lot with MLMs We see that a lot with a lot of um where you just have to think positive Yeah, like I was told up, you know Stuff with the crocodile tears like stuff like that and then when I was in a relationship with my son's father, which was a very narcissistic relationship um, I was called a Sniveling pathetic little cunt Oh, I've been called that before too girl high five or um a lazy bitch on repeat and so Guess what happened? I started coming up with this mentality that you know, I'm tough. I'm tough. I'm tough I don't cry. I'm tough and literally I get bitch mentality Meaning I just was tough as nails and nothing was coming through me So I built a lovely little brick wall around myself And I could be the nicest person or I could snap and be the nastiest person So it can't alter your personality until you address it really um, and the other thing I wanted to bring up um regarding that you actually kind of made me think about something this morning when we were talking because You know you confided me about a lot of your emotions and I probably did the same thing myself And so what happens is I think sometimes I feel like as an empath. I got to constantly make that person feel better And be positive and be positive and and feel better and then that that also sucks the energy out of that person too Whereas I should just say no price. It's okay. Why don't you go have a good cry? Which is actually what you say to me Like go cry it out girl. Go cry it out. I'm not I'm not used to being told that So it's like weird for me to hear somebody actually give me permission to go and yeah Part of that is validating like yeah Like like you have to do that to yourself too. That's what I was saying on myself like be like, yeah What you went through fucking sucks And you did not deserve to have your needle start Chart stolen you did not deserve to have this happen to you But it did and you dealt with it the best that you could and yes, you're gonna have You're gonna have side effects emotionally. You're not you're not a psychopath. You do have feelings You do have a tender heart and so you were betrayed You were betrayed and that hurts And you have to mourn that and you have to grieve that and when these these emotions come up Like we'll take betrayal for example the reason why it hurts so much is because You love the person who did it to you. You still love that person. It's not an easy shut off, right? And so you have to be able to give yourself And sometimes that is part of the healing my my trauma therapist would do that to me She was like, yeah, your dad was kind of an asshole to you as a kid wasn't he And to have that validation to have someone that makes a huge difference because shit. Yeah, it's like growing up too I remember I I um I don't know if this person watches I highly doubt it because I mean there's so many youtube channels out there And I haven't talked to this person. I had a boyfriend in high school who Is a very good guy still to this day. I would probably say a very good person Not toxic at all. Just a genuine good person um And the only Michael that I knew that wasn't a troublemaker In my life does michael's are normally troublemakers and um So and I remember him Always validating how I was treated by a certain family member now I'm not going to say who this family member was uh or is but um, I remember Him always saying Stephanie. Why does someone so treat you like this and I would be like, no, no It's it's fine. It's fine. That's from a bonding Yeah So and I would be in such denial now I had pushed it down pushed it down pushed it down for a long period of time He wasn't the only person that had brought this up to my attention It wasn't until I had gotten married um that um You know, I was told you know, David would say um You're gonna stick up for yourself. I'm like, what are you talking about? Well, so and so is really not treating you very well and I'm like, well, she I would make excuses after excuse after excuse after excuse and it wasn't until the last couple years when um a certain Uh type of treatment came out You guys know where I'm going with that Um, and I got alienated from the family um about my belief system about uh, Both medical and political stuff. Okay and literally alienated I I have not talked to my family and about A year and a half and I haven't seen him enough just about three years because of this whole situation this situation um And I started to recognize it and like That that's where my shadow work started So when I work out sometimes I literally Get this horrific anger that comes out of me When I'm doing anything to do with the legs That's where it's told me Anger is in the thighs and I was doing thigh work at the time and I wanted to punch a flippin wall and I mean I have all these emotions coming on some stuff I don't remember. I don't I recognize the sometimes I can recognize the energy and link it to the memory But a lot of times I can't And like you said Bryce, you don't necessarily have to remember the memory. It's just the energy coming up and and just Sitting in it and and and allowing it to transmute itself and and do what it needs to do to release itself out of you um But it there's been a lot of denial in my life about Everything and just pushing things down pushing things down trying to be the tough one and trying to not like No man is going to do this to me and no nobody in my life can say this or like I became this really hardened tough person And like I told you Bryce. I don't cry in front of people because it's embarrassing Well, why you're like, well, where does that come from? Why what's the root of the problem? And then I started to recognize like literally like I felt like when I cried as a kid I'd get made fun and we're told I'm just crying crocodile tears and I get very insecure and so I mean There's a lot of digging that goes with shadow work. There's a a lot of times. It's not just one root problem There's a like layers upon layers upon layers Yeah, so I had a lot of abdominal surgeries and this was Way before I knew about the chakra system and energy work And there was this one particular Uh traumatic event that happened. I was pregnant with my fifth baby a girl And I got up in the middle of the night and caught my husband at the time with my sister and then several months later Let's see that happened in october by February January january or february I ended up getting appendicitis and I had to have my appendix out while I was pregnant That's very dangerous Yeah, I had you know, and I looking back now I realized that that was a fast track manifestation and my physical body of what had happened to me and My next pregnancy. Um, I had another traumatic experience with that same max husband And um I ended up getting really really sick and I was hospitalized. They could not figure out what was wrong with me I would I ended up on tpn, which is um Stephanie you probably know what that is. It's what they give cancer patients when they can't eat Because I couldn't eat and the baby's movements was uh, we're slowing down and they were concerned about nutrition and uh, so I was in the hospital for a couple of weeks and they finally Decided to send me down to Have a CT scan with contrast die while I was pregnant But they were at a complete loss. They had no idea what was going on Well, it turns out I had about 25 gallstones and they and one was lodged in my bile duct And you know, they they couldn't do gallbladder surgery while I was pregnant then So they put me on a bunch of medication to control the symptoms until the baby was Mature enough to be able to induce labor and then a week after I had her I had gallbladder surgery But it just it really goes to show that traumatic events will Either quickly or sometime down the road wind up Causing a physical issue usually In the area of the chakra that was traumatized Yep That's why it's so important to study the chakra system. I mean I I'll put a link under this video to eastern body western mind That to me is one of the best starting points That's my next book i'm reading and it's good because she she breaks it up in a chapter So it's not like you have to like read it all the way through you can work on one for a while and try to understand it To understand what these energy cycles are Because once you start that's when you start to get it and you can find the exercise with it And you know and we do have to understand though at the ends of the day talking about eastern philosophy in our lives Everything we go through We agreed to go through it Yeah, and when you accept that First you're like, why would I do it when you accept that it becomes a power move Your soul has no ego when it's just a soul too before it takes form into a vehicle such as the body Um, so when you're in the spirit realm before you incarnate The ego is not involved in your decision making And then you come here and you're like can I abort mission, please? You know So I mean but but I like that you brought that up because the thing to me is like let's say we lose A parent in a horrific way or we go through some sort of trauma or um I don't know whatever happens to us in our life Instead of this this feeling that the powers that he would like us to feel is this this guilt That we oftentimes have and hang on to or this dread or this all these Very negative emotions that we hold on to because of maybe certain decisions we've made or a certain trauma that has happened to us It's liberating to understand our soul decided this before we incarnated And it gives you a different way of perceiving um, how to address it or just just a different perception as Um, well, it's you're not the victim anymore Exactly and that's the thing we really need to get out of too is victim mentality Because that keeps us locked and held in a prison that has no bars. It's called your mind And um, even if you were the victim in a situation like our a pe and stuff like that Again, you decided to go through it Mm-hmm. Yep So, I mean it It starts to Make you have a different perception in and then liberates you so you can start your journey of healing It is really liberating And this is not going to go away. I mean one thing my trauma therapist spoke to me too about about past She was into the past life. She goes you're probably also carrying things over from a past life So those are those emotions sometimes you don't know where they come from But you've got to deal with them because it's going to snowball into the next life too It's not going to go away until you deal with it and what happens to you know in the kwan yen reading I just released this week. She talks a lot about how You know hurt people hurt other people People who have not dealt with their wounds will then hurt others unintentionally In a reaction to their own pain. I know that through energetic body projections what it's called And so when we start to actually work through our own suffering In our own pain what tends to happen too is we start to develop more compassion for other people So instead of using our pain and projecting on others. We actually transmute that and it turns into compassion It turns into empathy You know, we look at things like the trail again like what you went through me Girl would have been gone. Yeah That would have been a scorched earth for me But I don't tolerate any type of cheating like that's a boundary for me But um, but that with your I mean good god girl and you said that my heart like broke for you Like holy shit. Yeah, I'm mine too. But um, but you know, but there's other there's other You know every every situation is different any Situation ship that you're in with people is different And when in some betrayals there can be healing But if you're gonna forgive if there's forgiveness for the person who betrayed you guess what? You have to heal yourself first In order for that forgiveness to actually be there Because you have to heal that wound within you That was opened for that betrayal That's what i'm working on right now is is I was massively betrayed and now I have to heal that I have to if I want to move forward, right? So that's something we all have to work on it doesn't happen overnight and it's not going to happen Literally either it's going to happen in cycles some days. You're going to feel like you're good You got this in the next day. You're going to feel like you were hit by a mack truck again You're and I have anger with a lot of things and I know a lot of therapists We'll tell you to get a dog bed Without the dog in it just an empty dog bed and like a plastic baseball bat and just Smack away Just to get that energy out because that energy of anger is very Punching bag. Yes punching bad, but even madeline my girl Magdalene she's always got to make an appearance someone does that want me to say her name? Holy shit Magdalene yes the divine feminine christ I know who doesn't want me saying her name because you want people to believe she's here in a man's body and she's not She's right behind me. Anyway in her gospel. She talks about the wisdom of the wrathful person Well, what's the wisdom there? She's not talking about getting pissed off and going eight ship on somebody and being violent She's talking about taking that anger Working through it transmuting it for positive change It's okay to be angry It's a human emotion that god gave us. It's what we're doing with it. Yeah Are you using that anger to hurt others and to hurt yourself and to Run away from trauma and stuff like that or are you taking it and using it to Help yourself help help yourself and help others because you've transmuted that energy Productively It's okay to be angry and I I've seen so many times Parents and I'm not a victim. I'm guilty of this too Don't be angry. You need to stop being angry through toward your children And the thing is that's not healthy Because the kids need to understand it's okay to be angry. So what I've told my son now is It's okay to be angry. But what are you doing with it? Yeah, it's okay because it's an emotion coming up. There's a reason for the emotion Let's figure this out. Now granted. He's a teenager So he doesn't want to listen to me when it comes to any of this what he calls hubu-jubu stuff, but I can't get away from it in this house. Okay. I just can't get away from it. I try to That's Anytime I talk about anything eastern philosophy of anything that I learned from brice here. It's I'm not listening to hubu-jubu stuff. I'm like, um, it's literally not hubu-jubu stuff If we're talking hubu-jubu stuff, we're talking tarot card hubu-jubu stuff That's in the west that's that western mentality Which is what got us into the position we're in with these controllers Anyway, it's this idea that this was crazy mystical weird shit And that's what got us under the thumb of the gabal Because we worked that that information was stolen from us and it's so valuable It's I come from a lineage of doctors y'all I could my chemistry teacher would make fun of me because I wouldn't get it in high school because I hated science Oh, there's abby and um, and he'd be like, aren't you a brice? Like that's my mom's family aren't you like the granddaughter of all these like famous doctors And I'm like, yeah, but I like english and philosophy Is she as she french kids wanted to make an appearance? Um, and I will tell you right now in all confidence in my opinion I'm grateful to my ancestors who were doctors because that afforded me a wonderful life as a child However, I feel like I know more About the body because of my studies in india I studied medicine as a doctor, but I studied as a medical assistant, which Is just uh under glorified underpaid lpm pretty much um licensed practitioner licensed practical nurse. Okay. Um, do the similar thing I feel like I know more I feel like I feel like it doesn't make sense. It's common sense if it's yeah, that didn't create things complicated It's it's just like I take what I learned in school now. I I love the body Learning about the body. That's something that I really um Learned very easily like anatomy Um, what I what I just didn't understand was um from I understood pharmacology, but I Disagreed with pharmacology and I always have Um, I always thought that you know, you should take a a non-natural herb or supplement well over a Pharmaceutical and that's something I always disagreed with with that particular world, but learning what I did know and actually um You know learning it very fast being as I was never a school person I did terrible in high school and middle school and but when I went to medical assistant school, I I got straight A's um Now what I know from learning from reading or what you've taught me thrice. Um, I'm I felt like Okay, this is a totally different world completely now. It does help. I know anatomy Yeah, so I could take that kind of stuff with me like I understand where certain organs of the body You know the different bones of the body the different muscles the different parts about the fascia and stuff like that um But now what I'm doing is I'm taking the information. I know from that world And converting it into now learning Okay, how do I heal this part of the my body? So if so for instance, I'm just gonna use this as an example like I've had issues with my hair falling out of my head for years on and off Especially during a significant weight loss Or hormonal problems Um, so I need to that's something I'm still trying to work on why What what's the root cause of it? What is my body trying to tell me? We were actually just talking about that off camera before you even came on. I mean, um, or like I had um My left shoulder pops out a lot, especially my sleep and price you had mentioned that's the dad's Daddy issues left is mommy issues No, this was the right side. Yeah, right side is daddy issues So daddy daddy issues. Well, my father passed away. My biological father passed away when I was four and a half So that's like an abandonment And I mean so You know, it's like once you start to realize there's certain Things that are connected to certain emotions physically in the body. It starts to all make sense It's like a puzzle piece that you're putting together and I'll say it gets even more complicated Me and I we shared this you text me and I told you something to consider because this is something I was told in india from my are you Vedic doctor? Because I typically have left issues my left side my left hips really screwed up And so I was going to an are you Vedic doctor getting acupuncture? I was thinking it was my feminine side and the are you Vedic doctor I was working with said actually Picking up that the energy is coming from the right side The reason why your left side isn't so much pain is because your left side is over compensating for the damage at the right side Okay, interesting. So when I was 15 years old I had a double whammy trauma with my father I was 15 it was It was probably Right after my birthday that he left. So it'd be march of 1993. I think Same thing happened to me My dad so yeah And he didn't when he left he didn't just leave the house He disappeared and I didn't see or hear from him for six years and then that summer after he left I had my first boyfriend and He bet his mom a year's worth of car insurance That he could take my virginity so he and Because those two things happened within very close succession and my dad was He was one of the those kind of people that children are to be seen and not heard So I didn't have much of a voice growing up and When I was a pillow was held over my face. So I couldn't talk and Because that's around the throat chakra Later on that winter the december of 93 I ended up having my tonsils out My tonsils got so sick. They were so filled with struck bacteria That even a month long course of antibiotics Wouldn't take care of it and when the doctor took my tonsils out He said he cut into them and the inside of them was like swiss cheese And I didn't I mean looking back hindsight's 2020 looking back on all the trauma. I've experienced I have had almost every single time. I've had a major trauma. I have had something happen in my body that caused a severely diseased or severely ill organ that needed to be removed. It's like Crazy Crazy how quickly it manifested too. Oh, yeah, you know, especially when we're that young because at that age or seventh chakra hasn't even developed yet It's still in the developing process God, yeah And so the power then and this is what shanti says it's to turn around to look at that incident say Thank you. What were you trying to teach me? What do I need to learn from you from an incident with the hair issue? It's like shanti's I learned this from shanti and it's the same thing the same thing I teach She just has a more eloquent way of saying it saying to your hair Okay, acknowledge this is happening. What are you trying to tell me? What do you need to tell me? And then let the answers come Um, she was telling a story where she got and broken into and the guy had a rock overhead But she moved and changed she chased him out. She stepped on broke a glass bleeding foot and immediately She was like, thank you. What are you trying to teach me? You know immediately she go into that mindset of like instead of saying god damn it like, you know crying and getting angry. Thank you What are you trying to teach me in this moment? What do I what do I need to see in this moment? That's awesome. I know I said that to myself today I I've hurt my fingers today like four or five times I'm like, okay. What is what is one of my being told here? I haven't investigated into it yet, but something's going on. I've hurt my finger five times today Not the same one, but you know, what what is the spiritual significance of fingers? You know, I I don't know. I haven't looked at part of the heart chakra Coming through the palm So but that's and that's we're only work you can do right like nobody if you ever go to trauma therapy That's what they do. They ask you questions. They validate you but they get you to answer the questions And so if for people because I know we've been going over an hour now So we'll start to wrap it up But for those people who are asking about shadow work, the first thing you need to do is lean into your pain Lean into it. You don't have to jump in head first and swim deep down to the deep end. Just start to lean into it Journal start to pay attention Start to work out if you're not I know if you don't say I don't like it. None of us like it None of us like it. Just do it. Let's do it first thing in the morning before your ego kicks in 30 minutes Do uh, do a bar class. They're fun. Oh, they're not that fun Um, are you sure about that price? I mean, I do like the hip hop one. I really really like the teacher The teacher gets to the legs Once we have the legs sound a little angry I mean, I call I carry a lot of tension on my neck now I know for a fact as I would I get spiritually attacked attack too That's a whole other trauma that I do have spirits that try to hook on to my neck. I do know that Actually, I mean actually let me remove one off of my neck one time when they're raking healing Well, I was gonna say too Well with my neck issues, I know it's other stuff It's also the stress of what's going on that I have to now work on but in me too that rakey And and that's the thing about raking any type of spiritual healing guys You can't go to a rakey practitioner yoga teacher and just expect to be like the bitty boppity boop and done Yeah, actually have to continue work. You have to meet the practitioner halfway My readings I tell people that well, I went and I had this done. I'm like So what are you doing every single day to continue to heal? Well, nothing. Okay. That's your problem That's your problem You're exactly your hips and all of a sudden it's all done No, because if you don't deal with the issue that got your hips stuck in the first place, it's just going to come back Yeah, right. So the answers are within you. Yes All these modalities of healing are just tools because at the end of the day, you're the one that has to be the alchemist You're the one that has to transmit that energy that energy was given to you And that energy believe it or not is a gift for you to transmute Well, that's what I like about You know, I've had rakey done before but I mean did something I've never heard From somebody and you before you even started on you said I'm just the conduit You're actually the one healing yourself Yep And so when you said that I'm like That got me thinking Like and we do all have the ability to heal herself I don't care if you are on 20 different medications You you know, you've got diabetes heart disease whatever it is. You still have the ability to heal yourself It's your body trying to tell you something And you got to stop If no excuse lazy some people are lazy. Yeah, and I just when I get excuses. Well, I have this one that I just want to like Roll my eyes. I'm like, yeah, I can't I don't I don't feel it that well in the first thing I say is yeah Two years ago. I couldn't get out of bed. But yeah, I've had that too. I've had all these I get up and I Hardly ever have any pain anymore But I did the work I did the work And yeah, I'm kind of saying it kind of aggressively because I'm actually proud of myself because I never thought I'd get myself here I've dropped about 30 pounds 25 30 pounds And I didn't do it because I was trying to lose weight I did it because I actually did shadow work because now my channels are starting to clear up And now the wait's just saying sayonara. I no longer need to stay here Killing you something showing you something the minute you saw it It was not needed anymore And that's something too. So what we have to look for too is like and I see this in the yoga room a lot people Be like my big toe hurts. I can't do it and I'm like, no, you're avoiding the work I have a torn ligament in my left ankle right now I know it's a torn ligament. It's torn and it hurts like a bitch. I still work out like five days a week I practice with a broken sacrum like I mean that's a void. That's so when you find yourself saying Oh, I have any issues. I can't do it. You are now that's escapism You're taking something and saying I can't heal myself because of this Of course we modify when there's an issue, of course, those modifications we take doesn't mean you stop working You constantly and this is something it's never ending guys It's never ending But when you start to find that power within yourself when you start to actually transmute you can feel it And you start to realize how powerful and how special you are and this is why This is why they the controllers did not wanted us to call things like eastern philosophy hubu-jubu You start to feel like you're alive again. Yeah, because I didn't want you to know how powerful you are Right So I guys we're at like an hour and a half now. So i'm going to go out getting close too So we're going to go ahead and wrap this up. I want to do a part two. Is that cool with you ladies? Let's get shawty. I love shawty. I Shanti's the best shanti's just amazing I was supposed to film with shanti today guys But uh, I think we're going to be doing that tomorrow because I got on with her and we started doing healing work ourselves So that happened sometimes with shanti and so um, there were some things that I needed to talk through and work through with her because of everything going on With certain channels right now that As I said earlier, I should feel vindicated, but it's just kind of re-triggering a lot of trauma for me So anyway, that's the cycle of drama though. So that's my shadow work right now. That's my work right now This is coming up again. So I need to go through and do more healing But anyway any questions that you guys have regarding this, please put it in the comment section below I want to thank both view ladies for being very vulnerable And me especially what you told us because holy shit like and there's power and vulnerability There's power and that and so I always told us No, that's not good. You don't want to Speak what happened and I want to validate You both of you who are with me right now and validate everybody watching right now. Um If something bad happened to you and you've been told to be quiet or to ignore it I'm going to validate for you and be like, yeah, that happened to you and it sucked And you have permission From most importantly from yourself to cry and to mourn Because that's when the healing starts The tower moment is when the healing begins And so if you need that validation if you need someone to tell you Yeah, that was rough I hear you You got it from me. I know you got it from them too We see you we see you. Yeah We see you and that's being being a human is really really hard And sometimes things happen to us And we can't control it but we can control The way that we transmute it When bad things happen to us We can either go forward and do other bad things to other people or we can decide To take that energy and being compassionate and be loving Instead of punching someone we could hug them And tell them it's okay In the end everything is okay If it's not okay, it's not the end And we all we all are literally walking each other home hand in hand Except the people who do black magic as I've said they can walk the other direction. So they can't sit at our table. So We we don't play that game over here. We want to play in love and compassion not a harmful shit So anyway, but we love you guys so so so much. I hope that helps people understand more of what shadow work is Yes, it fucking sucks, but it's also very very powerful too. So thank you ladies so much Again, I'm going to be putting their contact information in the description box below a way to book with Stephanie as well It's booked with emmy Um, if you want to continue your your healing journey your journey with us and leave us questions And we'll get shanty on next time and we'll do a part two Hell we could do a part three part four part five We can just keep going with this until the flow. Yeah, this can go on and on and on obviously we're at an hour and a half We all it makes you I hope people are sitting at home feeling better about their life circumstances Especially with the R word. We all put our hand up That um, oh, I guess I'm not alone, right? I'm not I'm not alone No one has a perfect life and it's a little perfection. No one's alone And if you feel if you feel you're alone You know, you have us validating and you also have a whole spiritual team Maggie said so Maggie just told me if you feel like you're alone She always makes me cry And you want to you want to feel the presence of a hug? She told you just to stand and open your arms and open your heart Up and ask her to come hug you and she will I had a couple of readings by the way who did that from a Past video and they felt her presence. I forgot to tell you that by the way So it yeah, it's a true thing and that goes for if you have a past on love one like my grandmother and my grandfather Often come through yashua comes through maggie comes through now too Maggie's fierce Yeah, Magdalena for those who don't know her real name is Magdalena Mary was not her magdalena And she wants she likes to be called Maggie so you can call her if you call on Maggie She knows and she just she just showed me she wants you to stand just stand in your house drop open your throat Because the throat and the heart chakras are very connected open it up and just ask her to come And she will come swaddle you up because we think of her as being this young cute fierce woman But she was also a mom. She had five children She was also a mother too So she knows how to love her babies. So We all have someone who loves us whether it's Magdalena her child realm Or Or physical realm. It's a matter so you can be one of our vulnerable with the spirits though Because they watch you go to the bathroom too. So I think that I'm like Why are they watching me? Why are they watching me? Everywhere she I feel her all the time. She she's in fall me around so 16 and there are times I'm gonna be like honey You don't I know you had a wild sex life with yashua, but but Wait until the christians find that one out anyway And these ladies know my connection to magdalena So it was pretty traumatizing to me for me to read about her sex life in the magdalena manuscript But anyway, you don't need to be here for everything magdalena. You don't need to watch me go to the bathroom. So As my 15 year old is walking in the room All right, well, I love you ladies and I love all you guys watching right now and chin up No, we literally are right here with you even though we've all been separated We are energetically there and magdalena will come give you that great big hug if you need it. So Talk to you soon. Bye guys