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Uploaded on Jan 26, 2012
This is, I firmly believe, the worst poem ever written. 'It's A Tragedy', written by Theophilus Marzials (1850-1920), which was first published in 1874 in an anthology of his work called 'The Gallery of Pigeons' (I've often thought that would be a great name for a band).
Here it is in full so that you can read along (apologies for weird focus issues on camera):
Death! Plop. The barges down in the river flop. Flop, plop. Above, beneath. From the slimy branches the grey drips drop, As they scraggle black on the thin grey sky, Where the black cloud rack-hackles drizzle and fly To the oozy waters, that lounge and flop On the black scrag piles, where the loose cords plop, As the raw wind whines in the thin tree-top. Plop, plop. And scudding by The boatmen call out hoy! and hey! All is running water and sky, And my head shrieks -- "Stop," And my heart shrieks -- "Die."
My thought is running out of my head; My love is running out of my heart, My soul runs after, and leaves me as dead, For my life runs after to catch them -- and fled They all are every one! -- and I stand, and start, At the water that oozes up, plop and plop, On the barges that flop And dizzy me dead. I might reel and drop. Plop. Dead. And the shrill wind whines in the thin tree-top Flop, plop.
A curse on him. Ugh! yet I knew -- I knew -- If a woman is false can a friend be true? It was only a lie from beginning to end -- My Devil -- My "Friend" I had trusted the whole of my living to! Ugh; and I knew! Ugh! So what do I care, And my head is empty as air -- I can do, I can dare, (Plop, plop The barges flop Drip drop.) I can dare! I can dare! And let myself all run away with my head And stop. Drop. Dead. Plop, flop.