 Kraft presents the Great Gilder Sleeves. Yeah. Each week at this time the Kraft Cheese Company presents for your enjoyment Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve, written by Leonard L. Evanson. We'll hear from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. But first let me remind you that fall is coming in winter too. And when chilly winter weather really comes, your family is going to need plenty of wholesome nourishing energy food. Now one reliable and economical source of energy is Parquet Margarine made by Kraft. Yes this delicious new margarine called Parquet is a protective food of high nutritional value. And to make it even better for you Kraft adds important vitamin A to Parquet Margarine's natural goodness. 9,000 units to every single pound. Now of course all this wholesome food value wouldn't do much good if your family didn't like Parquet Margarine. Well we think they will, thousands of American families do. Yes they like Parquet Margarine's delicate satisfying flavor for table use for baking and for pan frying. Best of all Parquet Margarine is economical yet it's made by Kraft to the same high standards as all Kraft food products. But why not find out for yourself. Yes why not try a pound or two of wholesome nourishing Parquet Margarine tomorrow. Just ask for Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. And now for the adventures of the great gilder slave. Now I'll check the grocery bill. 9 and 9 is 18 and 8 is 28. No 26 and 7 is let me see 33 and 5 is 33 and 5. Oh now I've lost my place. Sorry I disturbed you. That's alright Marjorie I was just checking your household expenses. Part of my job is guardian for you and Leroy you know. We never had any trouble with little things like that before. We never had to count a judge hooker before either. Why that dispeptic little judicial blunder. Oh now Uncle Moore I'll let you get on with your work. Yes I'll have to start all over again. 9 and 9 is 18 and 8 is 28. No 26 and 7 is. Excuse me Mr. Gilder slave. Ham or beef. And 7 lost it again. Ham or beef what? Filling. What filling? Sandwich filling. What sandwich? That's what I want to know. Ham or beef. Cheese. Yes. 9 and a cheese sandwich is 18 and 26. Well I got it right the first time and 7 is. Sam or Mort suppose I could buy a swell airplane motor cheap what would you say? 9 to 9 is 18 where am I all back at the bottom again. But I can Uncle Mort I can buy a practically brand new Bumblebee plane motor for $19 from Piggy Banks. What are Piggy Banks? Well not anything he's my pal. And this engine is such a bargain I'm ashamed to buy it for that price. You needn't be ashamed Leroy you're not going to buy it. But Uncle Mort. Young man you're far too young to take up flying. But this is a miniature plane motor. It's right in my model super duper swooper. Oh a model plane oh well I forgot you were a flying bug. That's a good one Uncle Mort. How's about that $19. Hold on Leroy $19 is a lot of money. Oh not for this motor uncle Piggy never bothered except his plane made an emergency landing into his pop store window. And he wants $19 for the motor. No he wants $19 for a new window. Can I have the door Uncle Mort. Well I'm afraid not Leroy that's quite a large sum. And you know I've got to account a judge hooker for every penny you children spend. Oh why can't he keep his nose out of our business. But that is his business Leroy sticking his nose into other people's. And he's got plenty of equipment for the job too. But gee was Uncle Mort. I bet you had a model airplane motor when you were my age. When I was your age my boy there were no airplanes. Everybody thought the Wright brothers were wrong. Well I bet you had some hobby. Let me see what did I have. Oh yes yes I had dynamite dynamite. Yes dynamite was the name of my Shetland pony. He was my hobby that little horse. I can see him now. Bless his shaggy coat. Well if you could have a big horse. Why can't I have a little motor. Because I earned the money to buy dynamite my boy. You are 19 bucks. How'd you do it huh. Well selling lobsters. I lived on the East Coast when I was a lad. And I got my spending money out of a string of lobster pots. I never knew lobsters grew in pots. They don't grow there Leroy that's how you catch them. I can still remember how hard it was in the winter. Getting up before dawn rowing five miles. Sometimes in a biting gale just to ten my pots. Rowing back to market with my boat full of lobsters. And my hands full of blisters. Then walking five miles to school. Yes. It's wonderful to think what you'll do when you're young and you want a pony. Say what ever became of that pony. Well I took dynamite to school one day and he bet the teacher we didn't have school for a month. Gee instead of a motor maybe I should get a pony. No I guess not. I'll stick to aviation there's more of a future in that. Yes but Leroy I said I wasn't going to give you the money. Oh that's all right Uncle Morton I'm going to earn it just like you did. A splendid idea. It'll help build your character like it did mine. How are you going to do it. All I got to do is find a job and earn nineteen dollars. Then would you let me buy Piggy's bumblebee engine. I'll do better than that my boy seeing that you're so ambitious. I'll advance you the money out of my own pocket. You will. Yes and you can pay me back as you earn it. Gee Uncle Morton you've got a heart as big as your. As big as you are Uncle Morton. And don't worry about me paying your back. I'll get a job in no time. And can I have the nineteen dollars now Uncle Morton. Now. Yeah Piggy's here with me. He can't go home until he gets the money. Oh yes I see. Well here you are. Ten fifteen nineteen. Oh thanks. Hey Piggy. Youth with its trivial problems. I wonder what kind of a job that boy will get. We have a morning paper out open. Seven o'clock tomorrow morning. Now this is no since job young man. You've got to deliver those papers every morning rain or shine. Now do you think you can swing it. Oh sure I'm awfully reliable Mr. I take after my uncle. He used to get up every morning and roll five miles into the teeth of a gale and then roll five miles back. Oh delivering papers. No lobsters. Well I guess you'll do. What's your name and address young man. Leroy Forester 747 Parkside Avenue. Okay Leroy. Now advance and take the early bird's pledge. Neither snow nor rain nor hail nor flood shall stuff the carriers of the summer field indicator vindicator from delivering their papers and collecting at the end of the month. I do. Good. Now wear this pin your badge of honor as an early bird and may it's luster never be tarnished. No sir. And remember for every paper that isn't delivered before seven a.m. you'll be Dr. Nickel. Leroy isn't usually late for dinner is he birdie. No ma'am dinner's usually late for him. Have you tried phoning any place. I don't know where. Well how about this young friend of his porcupine. No hog face something or other. Oh yes yes piggy banks. What's his phone number let's call him huh. Congratulations my boy. What are you doing getting jobs at supper time. What kind of a job is it Leroy deliver on a paper route for the indicator vindicator. Well isn't that peachy indicator vindicator. When do you start tomorrow morning at five o'clock. Five in the morning. Did he say five. You hear what the boys say. Yeah that means I got to get up at four and Leroy you can't get up that early. Yes I can. I'll set all the alarm clocks in the house. Oh and Leroy I'm afraid you're a little too young for that sort of thing. Maybe next year. But you had a much tougher job won't you. Uncle the big man. Well he wasn't a man then he wasn't even an uncle. You promised me I could do this. I can watch you promise me I could do it and I promised the circulation manager. How about look if we both broke our promises. It looked better than getting up in the middle of the night. I agree with you this puts me in rather a bad spot Leroy. What would Judge Hooker say about this. That is building my character. Now I'd better go to bed if I'm going to get up at four o'clock. But you haven't had dinner yet. Okay then let's eat. What's delaying dinner birdie. What's delaying he said. Look here you Leroy. We got ham for dinner and whilst waiting for you our frizzled it deep frizzled it and re-fizzled it until it's faffled. Good morning Leroy. Oh don't look at me I haven't had time to put on my makeup. I'm a sight. Jesus I never knew you looked like that. Looks like a skin wrapping to me. Stop. Have you had anything to eat Leroy. Oh yeah I fixed myself a swell breakfast. What did you have. A ketchup sandwich and a peanut bar. Land of Goshen bar that ain't no breakfast. I'm gonna fix you some pancakes. What was that. Oh just a little drizzle. A little drizzle. Why Leroy it's coming down in buckets. What. Why look at that street it's flooded. Why the water's running over the curb. You can't go out in weather like this. Oh yes I can. Neither indicator, vindicator. I do. You don't. Not the first I got my rubber boots and my snicker and my rain cap out in the hall. And I'll be riding my bike. You're not going out in that rain. Oh shucks this is nothing to what Uncle Mort had a face when he was a boy. He used to row five miles out the sea in a lobster pot. But he could take out the car and drive you around. I'm gonna wake him up right now. Oh gee whiz whoever it is. Oh Uncle Frank Morton. That's very good judge hooker. Uncle Mort. Yeah giddy up dynamite. Uncle Mort. Uncle Mort. Who's that. It's me Marjorie. Marjorie who. Oh Marjorie you. Yeah good night Marjorie. Go. What's the matter fire. No rain. Coming down in torrents Uncle Mort. It is huh. Yeah. Well don't try to stop it. No no no Uncle Mort you've got to get up. Yes that's nice. Leroy insists on starting his job this morning and you've got to help him. Yes a very good point. You must get the car out and drive him all over his paper route. Yes to build his character. What I do. Yes. Put on some clothes and come into the kitchen. Ready fixing some coffee. But coffee will keep me awake. Hurry now Uncle Mort. Yes all right. Where's the light. What's wrong. Burn myself that bulb is still hot. Uncle Mort what time did you get to bed. Well I was reading a detective novel it must have been about three thirty. What time is it now. Four. You go back to sleep Leroy is waiting for you in the kitchen. Yes bright boy. People don't get the papers Leroy. They'll understand it caught us on account of the rain. He's right Leroy. No no look I've got almost a hundred customers. And if I don't deliver a hundred papers I get docked to Nicola Peace. That's five dollars. You do. Yeah and suppose it rains steady for a week. Then I'll owe the company thirty five bucks. Why at that rate it'll cost me a hundred and fifty dollars a month just not to deliver papers. Uncle Mort is very kindly concerned to drive you around Leroy. Oh gee you shouldn't have disturbed him. He had to toughen up when he was a kid. He's entitled to some rest now. Coffee. Here you is Mr. Gilles. Thanks. Somebody hold the saucer I think I can handle the cup. Uncle Mort we'll have to hurry. Hurry where are we going. You're driving Leroy around his paper round Uncle Mort because of the rain. You've got to put on something warmer than that bathrobe and them pajamas. You know some of all over. He won't have to get out of the car. Here's your overcoat. Uncle that's all you'll need. Thank you. There we're all set. Now let's go. Okay. Which way is the door? Right through here. Oh it's raining. What am I doing out in the rain? Papers. Papers? What papers? The man said they'd leave the bundle right here on the porch. Where I can't see anything. So do they give you a newspaper route at the other end of town Leroy? That was the only one open Uncle. Say I bet this reminds you of the good old days. What good old days? You know when you went out to the sea lobster potting. Yeah. By George I wish I'd never brought those lobsters up. How much farther is it Leroy? Oh just a block or two. Oh no stop right here. Yeah. Here's my first customer. The Taj Mahal Bungalow Court. You just wait here while I deliver four papers. Yeah. Better turn on the radio or I'll fall asleep. And so if you're troubled with insomnia, why don't you trot right down to your nearest open all night drug store and purchase a can of Dr. Dullock's delicious dream drop. Is that so? Yes. And tell the druggers that Burke the night clerk sent you. Yes. And after you've taken a dozen drops you'll doze into a delightful delirium drum. That guy would put an owl to sleep. Okay Uncle Moore. I'll straight ahead to the next corner. Yeah. Right. Oh careful of that milk wagon Uncle Moore. What milk wagon? I don't. Oh! Now see here don't you talk to me that way or I'll, I'll pasteurize you you little half pint pedder. I don't. He ain't? I mean he isn't? Oh well he can't frighten me. I've got a good notion to report you to the police. Skipping around that corner and stacking up against my wagon and shoveling my horse into a mailbox. I didn't mail your horse. Huh? Yes and shaking up my milk too. Well that's good. Why don't you stay home nights like respectable folks? No I'll see you here. I'm always having trouble with you playboys. Playboys? What do you mean? I don't care. I did not. You woke him up yourself. Let's get out of here Uncle Moore. I still got a lot of papers to deliver. Yes that's right. Let's get out of here. It's too noisy. The nerve of that milk man. Parked in the dark and by Jove. He didn't have his taillight burning. Did he Leroy? I didn't notice. Well he didn't. I think I'll go right back. Oh no we haven't got time. We've just been out for fifteen minutes and I'm already half an hour behind schedule. Lucky for that milk man that you are. I'm just beginning to think of some things I should have told him. Funny they always come just five minutes too late. You better watch where you're going Uncle Mort. The water's pretty deep here. You might get off the road. It does seem to be getting deeper doesn't it? Throw your flashlight on that sign over there Leroy. Sure. Can you read it? What does it say? Warning. No fishing allowed. Whoa. Oh my goodness a lake. Where's the street? I better turn around. It's back that way. Yes I see it now. We'll be on dry land in a moment. Don't worry Leroy everything's going to be alright. I think the carburetor's flooded. With water. Why now? Isn't this the car that ran into me over on Quinn Avenue? Yes. Wow. If you haven't got more brass than the marine band. Asking me to pull you out. Yes but I'm willing to pale. No thanks. Get it up Nelly. Jump in your milk both of you. It's getting pretty late Uncle Morton. We still have a lot of papers to deliver. What are we going to do? Well the car won't move Leroy. Looks like we'll have to travel the rest of the way on foot. And I'm wearing bedroom slippers. Well at least it stopped raining. You come on Leroy. You take that bundle and I'll carry the rest. The water is cold. You want me to carry a piggyback Uncle Morton? There's no time for joking Leroy. Oh good great you start to rain again. 12 more papers to deliver on way through. Ah George. I'm soaked to the marrow. And on me that's pretty far down. There's 2100 burn side. It's your turn to put it on the porch uncle. That's a long walk up there Leroy. And I'm rapidly reaching the end of my tether. Suppose I just throw it up on the porch. Oh no no you can't do that. Those early birds aren't allowed to throw papers Uncle Morton. Well I'm no early bird. I'll bet my aim is still pretty good too. Oh but we've got orders. Oh it's alright just this once. Watch me place it on the porch. There it goes. Oh gee. It hit a window on the second floor. I told you it didn't go. Let's not stand around Leroy. We delivered the paper didn't we? Come on quick we might as well get going. Where's that operator? Get me the police department at once. Hello police. This is Judge Hooker at 2100 Burnside. An attempt has just been made on my life. Somebody threw something wrapped in a newspaper through my window. It might be a bomb. I'm trying a gangster in my court and his mob is probably trying to rub me out. Get him at all costs. Spread out a dragnet. Do something. Attention all cars. Proceed to 21st and Burnside streets. Judge Hooker's home has been bombed. Stop and question everyone. Investigate all parked cars. Bring all suspicious characters to headquarters. That is all. Rosenblatt. There must be some excitement around here. I wonder what. Did you sneeze Uncle Morton? What did it sound like? Sounds like you're catching a cold. Oh. I only got four more papers to deliver. Why don't you go home from here? Oh no I wouldn't run out on you. Well if you insist that's a different matter. Maybe I better get in some dry clothes. Oh sure. Just go straight. So long. See you at home. Oh it's as cold as Judge Hooker's heart. And I'm as wet as a mad hen. I wonder if those policemen would mind giving me a lift home. Well nothing ventured nothing gained. Hey officer. Yeah. Hello officer. I wonder if you're going my way. I'm all wet. I'll say you're all wet. Why don't you call a cab Mr. Well you know how cabs are. They're like policemen. Anytime you need one you can never find. Oh what am I saying? Present company accepted of course. Where have you been buddy. Oh hello. Two of you. Well. I've been out delivering morning papers. Delivering papers and pajamas and bedroom slippers. An overcoat don't forget. What do you think Joe. Smells. Smells to me too. Well I assure you officers it's true. I did it all for my little nephew's character. We're building it you know. It was raining too hard for him to take his bicycle so I drove him around. Yeah. Where's your car. It broke down. Where. Well I can't tell you exactly but it was right near a no fishing sign. Yeah. Where's your nephew. He went that way. Say it follows I'm terribly cold. Couldn't you give me a lift. What do you think Joe. Okay. Get in. Oh thanks very much. Oh a gun. I hope this isn't going to be out of your way boys. I live at 747 Parkside. Got it Joe. Sure. Oh but you're headed the wrong way Joe. Oh no I'm not buddy I'm headed for police headquarters. Oh my goodness. Now Mr. Gilda sleep you say your aim wasn't very good. Yes judge Rand I hadn't had much sleep and well I had the wind and the rain and my hair in my eyes. And so instead of throwing the paper on this man's porch you broken upstairs window. Yes I was trying to throw a curve your honor. Well Mr. Gilda sleep your story sounds reasonable and if you just wait in the sergeant's office Lee can check it. Oh gladly. I think you'll be able to go home in an hour or less. I want to thank you judge Rand for being so nice to it. I hear you caught the man who tried to kill me. Let's get a look at him. Here here one moment this is a police officer. Not a pool room. Who are you judge hooker superior court Department 25. Well I'm just as the piece ran the sunrise court take off your hat. Oh excuse me. I'm a little excited. My life's been threatened and I want to confront the coward who. Gilda sleep. Yeah hello judge hooker. Do you know this man. Of course what's he doing here. Well we picked him up near your place he's the one. I see it all now. You were trying. I was not. Don't lie. Order order order order in the court order. Now Gilda sleep. You better make a clean rest of it. Confess and I might be inclined to be more lenient. Say wait a second. All right all right I'm trying this case. Now tell me Gilda sleep. What was in that newspaper you threw into my bedroom. I don't know what was in the judge I didn't read it. Now judge hooker I've heard this man story. You later. Gilda sleep. You're guilty of breaking and entering my home. The judge I've never been in your home. It's true something didn't you. Yes but. And it broke something and entered somewhere didn't it. Yes. Then by your own admission you're guilty and by virtue of the laws of the state. I hereby sentence you to one. One moment judge hooker. This isn't your court. I'm the judge here and I'm capable of running things. All right all right. I don't want to tell you you're a business. Then don't. Now Mr. Gilda sleep. Now Mr. Gilda sleep I don't think it's necessary to question your word any further. You broke judge hooker's windows that right. Yes sir. And for that Mr. Gilda sleep I'm going to require you to pay for installing a new one. Yes sir. That all you're going to do. No not quite. That's better. I've never before seen such disregard for the dignity of a courtroom. Of the rights of others as you've shown here this morning judge hooker. Who me. Yes and I'm going to cite you for contempt of court. What. Twenty five dollars fine or thirty days in jail. Yeah this is wonderful. The great Gilda sleep will be with us again in a few minutes. But right now I wonder what the park a margarine users who are listening in would say if I ask them why they like park a. Well it's a pretty good guess that they like park a first because of its delicious flavor. And the good many would answer to that they like park a because they can use it so many ways. Yes park a margarine is so good tasting you'll be proud to serve it at your table. And for the same reason you like it for seasoning for baking and for pan frying too. Why more and more these days good cooks are insisting on a flavor shortening for baking. A shortening that adds its own tempting taste to cookies cakes and pastries. And the flavor shortening is just what park a margarine is. You'll find park a flavor makes it a delicious seasoning for hot vegetables too. And the grand fat for pan frying that doesn't spatter or stick to the pan. And whether you use park a margarine at the table for seasoning as a flavor shortening or for pan frying. Don't forget park a is a nutritious food and a reliable year round source of vitamin A. Now when you go to your food store don't just ask for margarine ask for park a margarine made by craft. Remember craft reputation for quality backs every pound of park a so be sure to say park a margarine. It's made by craft. You know Leroy I don't think this paper route was such a good idea after all. I wish you'd give it up. If you quit this job I'll pay for that motor myself. Stop interrupting Leroy I'll even buy you the most expensive model plane there is. If you don't carry papers anymore. I'll make up your mind Leroy will you take my offer. Well if you feel that way about it OK fine. Now what were you going to say I was trying to tell you Uncle Mort I was fired this morning. What good night. You have probably heard that September 15th to 20th is retailers for defense week. During this week your regular food dealer will be selling defense sales. When shopping you can help this patriotic cause by taking your change in defense stand. Original music heard on this program was composed and conducted by William Randolph. This is Jim Vannon speaking for the craft cheese company and inviting you to be with us again next week at the same time for further adventures of the great Gildersley.