 Lux presents Hollywood radio theater brings you Fred McMurray and Marguerite Chapman in Pardon My Past. Ladies and gentlemen your producer Mr. William Keely. Greetings from Hollywood ladies and gentlemen. One of the fastest growing elements of our population is the lowly mink. With care and patience you can raise a couple of these 24 inch rodents into something glamorous and beautiful. A coat that puts a gleam in a woman's eyes and leaves a dent in her husband's pocketbook. I mention these facts because they motivate tonight's play. Columbia Pictures recent comedy release Pardon My Past starring Fred McMurray as the boy with a future in mink and Marguerite Chapman as the girl with a mink in her future. Who gets fleeced in this story of the old skin game you'll shortly hear. But first I'd like to thank Virginia Maxwell for a different kind of story. As a member of the Red Cross she was present at a dance in China given to promote Chinese-American relations and attended by dignitaries of both countries. The high spot of the program was the presentation of three valuable door prizes. A lovely piece of carved jade, an exquisite heirloom teapot over 200 years old, and luck soap. Chinese guests won all the prizes and while the Americans were politely envious they were also proud that an American beauty aide like luck's toilet soap should rank so high in foreign estimation. Here's Act One of Pardon My Past starring Fred McMurray as Eddie York and Marguerite Chapman as Joan. It's a fine spring afternoon in New York City. In his lavish Madison Avenue apartment Mr. Elias Arnold has just received two visitors. Behind the visitor stands a rather sinister gentleman, a gun in his hand. You may dispense with your firearm Mr. Locke. I am sure Mr. Pemberton here and his friend will prove very reasonable. Okay, Mr. Arnold. Mr. Pemberton, how good to see you again. I tell you my name isn't Pemberton, it's York, Eddie York. Yeah, and I'm Chuck Gibson. You got us mixed up with somebody else. Don't holler at Mr. Arnold. Understand? What is this nonsense, Mr. Locke? You got me, Mr. Arnold. I've seen him walk in the append station, see? I says hello, Mr. Pemberton. And what happens? He gives me that Eddie York stuff. Ah, leaving town again, eh? A lot of stuff about going to Wisconsin to race me. That's right. I don't know what this is all about, but you've made us miss our train. We're supposed to be on our way to Beaver Dam, Wisconsin. We bought a mink ranch, see? And my name is not Pemberton and it's York, Eddie York. All the way here, that's all he says. Your name is Pemberton, Francis Pemberton. And two years ago you placed a bet with me for $12,000 on Pegasus in the sixth race with Hialeah. Since then, you have been a trifle difficult to locate. Eddie, the guy's a bookmaker. I have many hobbies, Mr. Gibson. Making book is one. Collecting books is another. Look about you. You see the volumes on my shelves? Everyone a first edition. It cost a great deal of money to be a bibliophile. Oh, what he said. And that is why at this high time you pay your debt, Mr. Pemberton. Here, here I'll show you. We just got out of the army, see? Here's my discharge card. There, you see? Edward L. York. That's me. Ah, don't think you would go to these lengths. Let me have that wallet. Hey, that's my money. Yeah, our money. Have that bank roll as mine. Not more than $3,000. I'll credit it to your car. Now wait a minute. No. Mr. Pemberton, here you are, a young man with everything to live for. Actually risking your life to cheat me out of money you wouldn't even miss. Wouldn't miss? It's every cent I got in the world. We got. I shall call tomorrow morning for the remaining $9,000 and please have a threat. I simply cannot bear the idea of live people owing me money. It makes me nervous. Mr. Long, you may drive them to where you pick them up. We'll be back. We'll get the cops. Don't use that word. Mr. Arnold, don't like. Till tomorrow morning, gentlemen. Long guy, Eddie. Now what do we do? What do we do? We go straight to the police and tell them that Chuck, Chuck, did you get the address where that Arnold guy lives? No. Oh, fine. Did you get the license number to car? No. Couple of smart boys. Hey, wait a minute. There's a cop. Hey, Hey, officer. What's the matter? Hey, officer, my friend and I here were walking down this street a little while ago. I'm glad to see you're back and sober too. Well, well, officer, I'm not Mr. Pemberton. I, I never mind. You want some trouble? No, no, no. Well, it's nice to have seen you again. Thanks. Thanks very much. Hey, Eddie, I'm beginning to think maybe you still look like this guy, Pemberton. No. Yeah. Hey, Chuck, Chuck, I've got an idea. Oh, it's about time. Look, all we got to do is find this guy, Pemberton, explain what happened, get our money and we're on our way. Right. A telephone book. All we got to do is look him up in the telephone book. Oh, this ain't no mean look in Chateau, brother. Are you sure it's the right place? Yeah, that's what it said in the phone book. It's better be. They wasn't kidding when they named this Long Island. Oh, we want to see Mr. Pemberton. Why, Mr. Pemberton, good evening, sir. And we go again. My, this is a surprise. There's a fire in the library, Mr. Pemberton. I'll tell the rest of the family you're home. Oh, whiskey, sir. No, no, thanks. I'll have a double. Very good, sir. I got a hunch I'm going to need it. Yeah. Hey, Chuck, if the butler thinks I'm Pemberton, it's pretty clear the real Pemberton isn't here. What do we do now? Oh, maybe he's got a rich hand or something. We ought to be able to get 3,000 bucks out of somebody around here. Hey, Chuck, look, this picture on the desk here. Uh, to Joan, it says to Joan, my good right arm, Francis. And I wonder that book he collar to assist guy in the picture. He looks like you. Yeah. Sure looks like a sourpuss, doesn't he? Yeah, just like you. Thanks. Well, you might have written it or something. How was Mexico? Mexico? Well, look, I, I want to apologize for barging in like this. Well, it's your home. Oh, Francis never remembers to introduce anyone. Mr. Gibson, just call me Chuck. Good. You can call me Joan. Are you saying Chuck? Well, Chuck's just staying until the, well, he's just staying until I can pay him some money. I owe him. Yeah. You see, I'm crazy about links. And I was going to buy a farm just as soon as I got three grand out of bed. Hey, Francis. Your luck is running through the form, Francis. Why don't you write him a check? Right. Well, I would only. Well, well, Chuck wants the cash, don't you, Chuck? Yeah, there's something about good old hard cash, I guess. There might be that much in the safe. In the safe? Well, Joan, look, I'm awfully tired. Would you just run to the safe and get $3,000 out and give it to Chuck and then we'd be all square, huh, Jeff? And how? You'll have to give me the combination, Francis. The combination? You know, it's silly, but it doesn't seem possible, but I just can't seem to remember it. Well, Uncle Wills can give it to you. Oh, that's right. I forgot about Uncle Wills. I'm sure you'll be home in the morning. In the morning. I wonder what happened to that Frank? Oh, was that your, I told Bert's not to bother. I thought it was for Francis. I'll have it brought right in. At the same time, I'll speak to the housekeeper about your room. Look like they got you pegged for kind of an elbow bend, my friend. Yeah, Chuck, look, we got to get out of here. Just when we're all set to get our $3,000 next. I wonder who that girl was. That's Joan, her name is Joan. I know that, but I mean, what does she do around here? What's the difference? What's the difference? Well, what if she's my wife or something? No, no, Chuck, I can't stay here. Look, Lunkhead, it ain't our fault this Pemberton Square don't pay off his bookie, is it? No, but... And unless we squat here until we get it, we whistle for our three grand, don't we? Yeah, I guess. Then what's the matter with your noodle? Tell me that. Did you notice if she was wearing a wedding ring? Well, well, well. Oh, good evening. Not back to stay, I hope. Your drink, sir. But they do run you out of Mexico. Well, here's to you, pop. Ain't you having one? No. You ain't? Well, well. I see you're still picking your friends from the Bowery. Oh, yo, it's old man. I could sue you for that. I'm just his grandpa. Now, grandpa, don't mind him, Francis. You know how he is. Doesn't mean half what he says. Why don't you open the window and throw the old cockroach out to the petonias? Him? If he'd do that, I'd think there was some hope for him. And I suppose I'll see you in the morning, Francis, or maybe I'll be lucky and oversleep. If you'll come upstairs, Chuck, I'll show you to your room. Good night, Francis. Night. You're not going to bed, Francis? No, no, no, I just think I'll sit here and think a while. Think? You mean get drunk? Please, Francis, not on your first night home. You're still sitting here, you bandy-legged warthog. Yeah, many objections, grandpa. You sober? Certainly I'm sober. What are you so mad about? What have I done? Nothing, as usual. The point is, what are you going to do? About what? About what? Young man, there's a little lady upstairs. Two years you've been away and she's been crying her eyes out every night. She has? Yes, she has. Now, you march right up there and do something about it. She's waiting for you now. Chuck. Chuck, which room are you in? Hey, Chuck, where are you? Oh. Oh, hello. Did I hear you come up and calling someone, Francis? No, no, no, it's really nothing important. Then come on in. Oh, no. You're probably busy. Come on in. Grandpa said you wanted to see me. He did? Well, maybe I misunderstood him. Francis, is something bothering you? Joe and you know how it is with a guy like me. Lots of things bothering. They're never used to. Well, I'm different now. I'd like to believe that. Oh, it's true. I'm practically not the same fellow at all. You and you and grandpa seem to think I'm pretty much of a heel, don't you? Oh, I think spoiled would be a better word for it. And a little spineless now and then. Well, I asked for it. Francis, what about Mary? Mary? Yeah, Mary. Well, I was sort of hoping we could forget about Mary. I suppose you'd like to forget about Susan, too. Susan. Don't you even want to see her? Who? Susan, of course. I'll take you in to see her now. You mean she's here, right here in the house? Frost uncle wills to see the bath. The detective wouldn't let her leave. Detective? Why? Is she violent or something? Francis, are you sure you're quite yourself? No, I mean, well, with you here, it's a peculiar sort of setup, isn't it? I'd better not go in tonight. Maybe she's asleep and, well, I'd better look in on Chuck. He might want something. Francis Pemberton, after two years, the least you can do is let her see you. OK. Now, come along. We'll only say a minute. Daddy? Yes, dear. It really is. This is Susan? I don't wonder you hardly recognize her. She's grown so. Well, how are you, Susan? Finally, I don't seem to know you very well. How do I, Daddy? Are you going to live here now? Well, I... I wish you would. I'll let Daddy or let Mommy come to see me at Jones. Daddy just came in to say hello, darling. It's sleepy time now. Well, you let Mommy come to see me, Daddy. Why, uh, why, sure, I guess so. Do you really mean that, Francis? Well, sure, I mean, that a mother certainly ought to be able to see her own child. Tomorrow, Daddy? Tomorrow? Well, yeah, I guess tomorrow would be fine. Well, uh, good night, Susan. Good night, Daddy, and thank you. Sleep tight, darling. There. That's the girl. Good night, Aunt Jones. She called you Aunt Jones? Yes. Well, then she's not, uh, I mean... Well, it's usually the fate of most poor female relations to become aunts, isn't it? Oh. Well, you, uh, you make a very nice aunt. I've tried, too, Francis. Mary's going to be so happy. I'll phone her right away. Mary? Oh, uh, yes, Mary. Francis, I want to take back everything I said. I wouldn't have believed it, but, but you have changed. Something has happened to you, and, and you don't know how good it makes me feel. Good night, Francis. Hey, uh, you kissed me. That was for Susan, and for Mary. But, uh, but... Good night. Will you wake up, Chuck? Come on, come on, I'll get up and get dressed. We can't stay here. What's the matter? You want to throw you out? No, she's not my wife. She's some kind of a relative, though. But I've got a wife. Well, congratulations. No, no, I mean, Pemberton's got a wife. And I'm a father. I mean, Pemberton's a father. Look, Chuck, all the time this Pemberton's been away, he wouldn't let his wife see the kid, or this Uncle Will's wouldn't. And I just said she could. If we don't get out of here right now, we're going to be in the middle of a family reunion. Just a minute. You happen to know how much $3,000 amounts to... Yeah, but... Now listen, chughead, the money down in that safe is our money. If you just don't get excited, we'll have it back. We only have to stay in for morning. Yeah, but... All right, move over. In just a moment, we'll bring you the second act of Pardon My Past. Meanwhile, here's our Hollywood reporter, Libby Collins, with news about the stars. Two very lovely stars, Mr. Keely, Captain Grayson and June Allison. I've just seen them both in the title roles of Metro Goldmayer's Two Sisters from Boston. Oh, that's the new musical picture. Yes, with songs for everyone's taste, for musical duties to grand opera. Imagine seeing and hearing Jimmy Durante and Lord Eats Melchior in the same picture. Mm-hmm. And Hanson Peter Lawford for romance. In Two Sisters from Boston, MGM has given Captain Grayson a good opportunity to display her fine color at your voice. She's not only very talented musically, but she's so lovely to look at. One of our prettiest lux girls, wouldn't you say, Libby? Oh, yes, indeed. Katherine's really adorable, especially in close-ups, with her glowing dark eyes and fresh, smooth lux complexion. Another treat is the blonde loveliness of June Allison. Now, there's a famous lux beauty for you, Mr. Kennedy. June Allison and Katherine Grayson. Gosh, Libby, what a recommendation for lux soap when two such lovelies depend on it for beauty care. And they do, Mr. Kennedy. Both those famous stars say they wouldn't be without lux toilet soap for a single day. Well, Libby, Hollywood stars know lux toilet soap is a quality product, a real beauty soap, ripe for delicate skin. Nine out of 10 famous stars use lux toilet soap for their daily complexion care. I think any woman who follows their example will be delighted with the fresh new loveliness active lather facials can give her skin. And in these days of shortages, when everyone is being careful not to waste vital materials, it's good to know lux toilet soap is hard milled, can be used right down to the last thin sliver. Why not try this fine white complexion soap, Hollywood's own beauty soap, tomorrow? Here's Mr. Keely at the microphone. Act two of Pardon My Past, starting Fred McMurray as Eddie York and Marguerite Chapman as Joan. It's early the following morning. In the Pemberton dining room, Grandpa gets up from the breakfast table, walked to the window, and stands gazing out in a state of complete consternation. Cut off my ears and roast them over a slow fire. Grandpa, what's the matter? What did you say? Look out there, Joan. Francis Pemberton not only up at this hour, but out on the lawn playing with his daughter. He's been up for hours. I had breakfast with him. Liquid or solid? He hasn't had a drink since he came home. There's something wrong here. Maybe we've misjudged him. Say, what kind of a look is that on your face now? See here, Joan, you ain't beginning to get yourself... I ain't beginning anything. And if I were you, the last person I'd tell. It's the spring weather. You better drink some sulfur in the lasses. I beg your pardon. Yes, Bert? Mr. Wills is on the phone, Miss... Oh, Uncle Wills. Thank you, Bert. Oh, tell Mr. Pemberton, will you please? But didn't you ask him for the combination, Joan? I mean, do I have to...? He wouldn't give it to me. Well, pick up the phone, Francis. Well, does Uncle Wills sound mad or anything? What if he is mad? I think it's high time you began standing on your own two feet. Oh, well, it's just that I'd rather... Well, here goes. Hello, Uncle Wills? Wills? Oh. Well, I just forgot to, I guess. What's this nonsense about you wanting to get to the library safe? Well, I just want to get into it, that's all. Well, I'll be right up. Oh, no, no, no. Just give me the combination. Francis, are you sober? Of course I'm sober. Now, look here, Uncle Wills. Are you going to give me the combination, or do I have to come down there and shake it out of you? Well, do you have a pencil? Yes, I have a pencil. Left. Left, 21, right, 10. Left, 7. Left, 7. All right, go on. Well, that's it. Left, right, and left. Oh, OK. Thanks. Francis, do you realize that you actually talked back to him? You were wonderful. I was, huh? Well, uh... Wonderful for you. Oh, uh-huh. Joan, how come you never got married? Well, looking after Susan in the house has kept me pretty busy, you know? Then I guess the right man just never came along. Uh-huh. You, uh, having any commitments at all? No. Why? Oh, I was just thinking that... Well, uh... Well, it's natural that I should be interested in your welfare, isn't it? Well, I, uh... I guess I'd better get that money for Chuck. Yes, I guess you had. Joan, it's been nice meeting you. I mean, meeting you all over again. You know, I almost feel the same way myself, Francis. As if I'm just getting to know you. You like me better this way, huh? Loads better. Well, you'd better get to the safe. Yeah, yeah. I guess I'd better. Well, stop looking so guilty. You remind me of a second story, man, on his way to a window. I do? I don't know why I should look like that. Sorry to interrupt, but Mary's here. Oh, good. Where is she, Grandpa? I'm the patio with Susan. Well, Francis... Huh? Your wife's here. Aren't you going to... Oh, that's right. Mary... Well, I, uh... I'll try and see her later. Francis... Chuck can wait a minute for his money. Now go on outside and see your wife. Oh, okay. You say so. Hello, Francis. Oh, uh... Hello. Francis, you're... You're letting me take Susan. This isn't some kind of a terrible joke, is it? Well, no, no. You can take Susan any time you like. Why, Francis, what's come over you? Why, you even look different. I do? Well, uh... I've been outdoors quite a bit lately. I... Had a lot of fresh air and exercise. That must be it. Oh, no, that isn't it. It's inside. You've changed. Oh. Why didn't you answer my letters? Your letters? Didn't you get them? It doesn't matter. All it matters is that I'm with my baby again. Francis? Oh, yes, Grandpa. That dang fool detective, he's trying to tell me that... A little girl ain't supposed to leave the house, Mr. Pemberton, unless I go along. That's my orders. Well, uh... Now you've got new orders. Okay, Mr. Pemberton. I bet Uncle Will's will sure be mad, Daddy. Don't you worry about Uncle Will's. Francis, you didn't get my letters, did you? No, I, uh... I didn't. What Uncle Will's told you isn't true. Neither was the evidence they brought up in the court. You must believe me. Well, uh... Mary, I... Well... We'd better go along now, Susan. Thank you again for letting me have her. You'll never regret it. Goodbye, Daddy. Uh, goodbye, Susan. Well, son, maybe Lippards don't change their spots, but Doggon, if I ain't seen a polar cat, change his stripes. Uh, well, uh... Uh, grab I, uh... I haven't got time to talk to you now. Don't give me that hanky-panky. Aren't you sure you're the same poisonous scud we used to have around here? Oh, are you sure? I'm sure. Uh, I'll talk to you later. Uh, you're in an awful hurry to get into that safe. Oh, naturally with the... Well, I'm a day late already with Chuck's money. It won't take you long? Well, no, only as long as it takes to open up the safe. That's good, because Uncle Wills is on his way over. Uncle Wills? Just phone. Oh, and that ain't all. A couple of men just drove up to see you. Chuck's talking to him now in the library. I think Bert said that Darkwind's name was Arnold. Arnold! What's the matter? Oh, nothing, Grandpa, nothing. Mr. Arnold just won't believe us. You're quite right, Mr. Gibson. Mr. Pemberton, you have just squandered 10 more minutes of my time with your lies. Now, open that safe. For the last time, my name is Eddie York. Oh, yes, of course. That's why you spent the night here. That's also why your butler said Mr. Pemberton was in. Well, suppose we have a look at that safe. Oh, wait a minute, Mr. Arnold. Mr. Arnold said he wants you to open it. Uh, better. Open it, Eddie. Well, okay. Left 21. Right 10. Left 7. There. Now then. Oh. Oh. Hey, it's empty. Rather like your head, Mr. Pemberton. Well, this brings us to a rather unpleasant necessity. And who is that ill-mannered individual? That must be Uncle Wills. He brought coming in and out a most annoying household, Mr. Pemberton. Come, Mr. Long. Are you leaving? We will wait out here on the terrace until your uncle has seen you. But we are not finished, Mr. Pemberton. Francis! Francis! Are you in there? Is that you, Uncle Wills? So, here you are. Hello, Uncle Wills. Who's that fool with you? Does he mean me? I want to talk to you alone. You stay right where you are, Chuck. Well, you're acting rather peculiarly, my boy. Uncle Wills, you said you wanted to talk to me. Well, go ahead and talk. Yeah, we got work to do. You're not well, are you, Francis? You've been drinking. What goes on around here? What do you mean? Well, the detective out at the gate and Susan not being able to see her mother. Well, those were your own instructions. Oh, that's right. Well, now look, Uncle Wills. From now on, Susan can see her mother any time she wants to. Do you understand? No, I don't. You're not responsible. You think I'd spend two years on court proving Mary's an unfit mother only to have you white? You poor, deluded imbecile. Unless you keep the custody of Susan, you'll lose half your entire fortune. I thought it was something like that. Look, sir Gallowhead, what about the 3,000 smackers? Oh, so that's why you came back. Well, you don't think we bust into this quail's cage for fun, do you? You better make a 12,000. We don't want to go through that again, you know. Yeah, you better make a 12. We don't want to go through that. I'll give you a check right now. 12,000 dollars. But on one condition. Uh, what's that? That you go back to Mexico and stay there. Okay. But I want Susan to be able to see her mother. Well, you have my word. Uh, that check you're making out, you're making out cash, aren't you? It's all made out here. I'll have Joan get your reservation on the afternoon play. Goodbye, Francis. The check. Well, let me see the check. Hey, check, this check's no good. I mean, well, look at it. He made it out to Pemberton. Hey, Uncle Wills. Let your four Uncle Wills along. Just endorse it. Endorse it? But I can endorse it, Mr. Arnold. It'd be forgery. I am beginning to understand why people like you are so rich. Sign that check before Mr. Long shoots you, please. I tell you, it won't be any good. I'll worry about that. Endorse it. Don't say I didn't warn you. Don't, I don't even know what I spelled it right. Ah, that's fine. You don't deserve this, but I am an honest man, even among thieves. Here, here is your wallet back. And take my advice and burn those phony identification cards. Your 3,000 hasn't been taught. Oh, thanks, Mr. Arnold, but that check's no good. Shut up, you twink. You're no good. Such a strange sense of humor, Mr. Pemberton. Goodbye. Now that Chuck and I are leaving, Joan, I just wanted to tell you that I... I'm glad you're leaving, Francis. You are. I just heard Uncle Wills phoning Dr. Ben Meeder. Francis, if you don't get out of here, they're going to put you in a sanitarium. Oh, that's swell. Francis. No, I mean, it's swell. It's swell. That's why you want me to go. Hey, you're really worried about me, aren't you? Yes, I am. That's nice. Joan, do you like mink? Mm-hmm. What? You know, mink. Look, do you suppose you could sort of... Well, I mean, do you think you could take me at face value for, well, for the time being, that isn't... Joan, I know this all sounds confusing, but you understand, don't you? No, no, of course you don't, but never mind. Everything will be clear to you later. Francis, perhaps you should see a doctor. No, no, no. I'm fine, Joan. And... Take care of yourself, huh? Well, yes. I'll be... I'll be seeing you. Okay, Chuck. We're on our way. Just one moment. Francis, you're riding into town with me. I am. What for? To see Dr. Van Meter. Oh, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm going to Beaver Dam. No, no, you're not. Oh, yes, I am. Then I'll hold you here by force. I love... You will, huh? Oh, Francis! You struck me! Ah, you mind if I leave now, Uncle Willes? Oh! I'm proud of you. Congratulations. See you, Grandpa. Thanks. Goodbye, Grandpa. Goodbye, Joan. Bert! Bert! Yes, sir? Get that detective in here at once. Bye, Mr. Willes. Your nose is bleeding. I know my nose is bleeding. Get him in here. Now, look here, you big moose. And you keep your true sense out of this. I have a good mind to help you put out of the house. You can't. It says so on the will. You can't do a cock-eyed thing. Somebody sent for me. I'm on Francis Pemberton. Mr. Pemberton, but he left here 10 minutes ago. I know he left. Find him and bring him back. Use force if you have to. He's start raving mad. I'll answer the door, Bert. No, no, no. Don't worry about a thing. I'll have Mr. Pemberton back here. It's... Look. Look at the front door. It's him. Well, you haven't changed much in two years. Mr. Pemberton, but you just... Don't stand here. Get him. Say, what's going on around here? Hey! Take it easy, partner. Everything will be all right. Don't be all right. Just kind of go all limp, Mr. Pemberton. Or do I got to make you? Hey, will somebody please tell... Uncle Willes, what's the matter with this lunatic? I'm loony. It's a good one. Good work. Now, hold him there. I insist. Will somebody say something? Let go of me. Do you hear? Don't send for Dr. Henry. Get off of me, you half-wit. This is a fine homecoming. Mr. Willes, may I say something, sir? No. But what shall I tell the driver? Driver? What driver? Here at the door, sir. He's insisting that Mr. Pemberton owes him $11 taxi fare. Hey, what kind of a gag is this? $11 for what? For hauling that guy he's sitting on out here from the airport. You mean you just brought him out from the airport? You half-baked fatfoot. Get off, Mr. Pemberton. You're fired. You mean let him up? It's this fool detective, Francis. He mistook you for someone else, my boy. An imposter. I knew it. Imposter? Grandpa? Yeah, it could be. Well, Francis, my boy, welcome home from Mexico. Yes, sir. Check, we're practically on our way to Beaver Dam right now. There's a station down there in the next block. You know, Eddie, this is just where we was yesterday when that fella came up and stopped us. Yeah. You know what's kind of funny at that? Him walking up like that and saying, Hello, Mr. Pemberton. You know, it was almost like Oh, no. Any time you're ready, Mr. Pemberton. No, wait a minute. I'm not going to go through all that again. I think you will. Eddie, the same fella. The same gun. Yeah, it was that check that checked for 12,000 bucks it must have bound. Something like that, yeah. Mr. Arnold's very unhappy. Well, tell Mr. Arnold to move over. It's all mine. Let's go, you crooks. We pause now for station identification. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. In just a moment, we'll return with a third act of Pardon My Past, starring Fred McMurray and Marguerite Chapman. We have as our guest tonight a young lady who though very young is known as one of the ablest actresses on the Columbia Lot. Let me introduce Miss Jeff Donnell of the Upturned Irish Nose, Hazel Eyes and Peacock Personality. Jeff, I understand you have a long list of fine parts to your credit. I'm still ambitious for more and better roles, Mr. Keeley, like the part that Rita Hayworth has in Gilda. She's wonderful in that picture. Glen Ford does a great job, too. Yes, and did you know that last week the Bobby Socks Club voted Glen Ford the man of the year? Well, I know Columbia searched a long time for just the right story for Glen and Rita. I was on the set while they were filming Gilda. I never tire of watching Miss Hayworth. And in this role, she proved herself a wonderful dramatic actress. She's so talented and so beautiful. We'll agree with you on all counts, Miss Donnell. Rita Hayworth is one of our favorite lux girls, you know. So she tells me, Mr. Kennedy, and don't think I'm not a lux girl, too. A nice complexion means so much before the camera. I'd say you have nothing to fear in any camera test, Miss Donnell. That gentle lux soap care seems to work for you as it does for so many famous Hollywood stars. Thank you, Mr. Kennedy. I do think lux toilet soap is as fine a beauty care as any girl could wish for. I really depended my lux soap facial. Thank you, Miss Donnell. Women everywhere have found that daily care with lux toilet soap really makes skin lovelier. Recent tests by skin specialists showed that actually three out of four complexions improved in a short time. And here's the beauty facial screen stars used regularly. Smooth the creamy lather well in. Rinse with warm water. Splash on cold. And pat with a soft towel to dry. Now when you touch your skin, it feels softer. Smoother looks beautifully fresh. Try this gentle soap for your precious complexion. Use it as a luxurious bath soap, too. Why not put lux toilet soap on your shopping list tomorrow? Mr. William Keely returns to the microphone. Act three of Pardon My Past starring Fred McMurray as Eddie and Marguerite Chapman as Joan. Poor Eddie York. Trouble, trouble, nothing but trouble. You see, he looks like Francis Pemberton. Francis Pemberton owes Mr. Arnold $12,000. And no one will believe that Eddie isn't Pemberton. True, the real Francis Pemberton has just returned home from Mexico. But at this moment, Eddie and his friend Chuck are back in Arnold's apartment with their livid host shaking a large and worthless check under Eddie's nose. For two years, Mr. Pemberton. For two years, you cheat me out of my $12,000. And now you deliberately distort your signature on this check so the bank will not honor it. Well, how could I sign Francis Pemberton's name if I'm not Francis Pemberton? You are degrading both of us with these childish lies? Still on? Go downstairs and get the car. We're going someplace again? Definitely. We planned on going to Beaver Dam, Wisconsin. Your plans have been altered. I'm taking you back home. Oh, no. Francis, incredible as it seems, Joan and your imbecilic grandfather here allowed themselves to be taken in by an imposter. But who was he, Uncle Wells? Why, he looked enough like you to be your own twin brother. Well, your wall-eyed catfish, he was his twin brother. Ask Francis. Go on, ask him. I don't know, Uncle Wells. It's possible, I suppose. Mother and Dad told me I was adopted, of course, but they never mentioned a twin brother. I was there when they got you, identical twin baby boys, but somebody else had spoken for the other one. That is before they knew what allowed she was going to turn out to be, Francis. So I've got a brother, huh? Dead ringer, except he's got a backbone. Joan found him rather pleasing, didn't you, Joan? Yes, I did. Well, it's all ridiculously clear. He knows you're in Mexico. His wife and two of them, they schemed to kidnap Susan. Kidnap Susan? I don't believe it. Oh, don't worry, they won't get far. It isn't true, Francis. Mary only took Susan for the day. I know it isn't true. Uncle Wells, about Mary, are you sure the things that came out in court, the things you wrote me about, are true? Well, of course, my boy. I've had a lot of time to think things over. I came home because I decided that most of what happened between Mary and me was my fault. Francis. And I thought if I pulled myself together again, we could make a go of it again. But I can't understand Mary doing a thing like this. Kidnapping Susan. Son, a woman like that will stoop to anything. But don't worry, I've called the police. Now you're all tied out. Francis, you'd better rest. Yes, I... I think I'll go upstairs. Go ahead. I'll be back later. We'll have a nice long talk. Well, Joan... I just came in to tell you I'm leaving. You're leaving? I've made up my mind. Well, Joan, if it's because of what Uncle Wells said downstairs, I'm sure he was mistaken. Uncle Wells is mistaken about a great many things, Francis. If you'd just open up your eyes, it's not true what he says about Mary. He's only trying to... Oh, what's the use? We've been over this so many times. I'll come in and say goodbye before my cat gets here. Joan... You ring the doorbell. Get out your key, Mr. Pemberton. Open the door. But I haven't got a key. I tell you, I don't live here. All of a sudden, a mink farm seems like a nice place to me. Mr. Pemberton, good evening, sir. Good evening, Bert. We're going into the library for a few minutes. Yes, sir. So there's no need to say anything to the family. We'll be going right out again. Yes, sir. Still, sir, you can't do this, Mr. Arnold. I am taking the equivalent of $12,000 from one of your first editions, Mr. Pemberton. If any further explanations are necessary, I will leave them to Mr. Long. Oh, Bert, was that my cat just now? It was him again, Miss. Him? The other Mr. Pemberton, the bogus one. Where? They went in the library. You sure it wasn't Francis? Positive, Miss. Why, I just brought Mr. Francis a tray. He's up in his room. Oh, I must notify Mr. Wins at once. We'll observe, Mr. Pemberton, that I brought along a catalog. You will get full catalog price for these books. Yeah, but it's still robbery. Yeah, I'll say it is. You pay $5,000 for Shakespeare and only $900 for Dickens. Somebody's getting rocked. Oh, hello, Joan. We came back. I mean, we had to come back because, well, Mr. Arnold here wanted us to show him some books. The check wasn't enough. You had to come back with a second hand, man. Please, please, collect her. What you really mean is a receiver of stolen goods, don't you? Joan, I can explain all this honest, I can. It seems to me it explains itself. I was wrong, that's all. And don't let me disturb you. You'll find the jewelry upstairs and the silver in the dining room. No, Joan, wait. Ah, even your family seems to mistrust you. Well, don't stand there looking at the door, Mr. Pemberton. Here is a pencil and paper, make a list of these books and then sign them over to me. And please, this time, your correct signature, Mr.... Here, where are you going? Joan, Joan, where are you? Get him, Mr. Long. Wait a minute, Annie, I'll hold him here. Kate, give me that key. I want to play tag. No shooting, Mr. Long, no shooting in here. Get away from that window. No. Okay, you caught me. You took the key out of the window. If I was you, I wouldn't go out the window after it. Somebody might think something phony was going on and call a cops. Boss. Get the work on the door, quick. We've got to get Pemberton. Joan, where are you? Oh, hello, son. Grandpa, where is she? Where is Joan? In front of the house waiting for her taxi cab. Joan! Don't you come near me. Go after her, son. Don't let her get away from you. Wait, I want to talk to you. Oh, old man, where did he go? Oh, you finally got the door open, huh? Say, is that thing loaded? You'll find out if you don't answer, Mr. Arnold. Well, under the circumstances, seeing that he left here in such a hurry after you were locked up in the library, I guess he went for the police. Boss, cops. In my opinion, Mr. Long, this old man is lying. Mr. Pemberton is undoubtedly pursuing that girl. Why don't you just blow, Arnold? You got your book shut up. Such a ridiculous household. Say, which Pemberton are you boys after, anyhow? Is there more than one? Oh, yes. That's impossible. I want Francis Pemberton. The worst well sure it has been my bad luck to ever come across. That could be him, all right. And I do not believe he went for the police. I could be mistaken. But he may choose to go to the police on a later and equally embarrassing occasion. I cannot take these books without him signing them over to me. Then when that is settled, nothing would give me so much pleasure as to beat your relative within an inch of his conniving life. Do him a world of good. Now, I'll tell you, you go back to the library and I'll get him for you. You'll get? I'll be back here in a minute. Now, don't you go away. Ah, Mr. Long, this is an experience we will never forget. All these riches and not the same person in the house. Can you come in, Francis? Oh, hello, Grandpa. In the sleep, huh, Francis? Say, some man downstairs wants to see you. Oh, well, what was he? Seems to think you owe him a lot of money. I can't imagine who. Well, maybe he could kind of jug him every Francis boy. All right, I'll put on a robe and come down. Here he is, Mr. Here's Francis Pemberton. Mr. Arnold. Hey, Eddie. What's the idea to make up? I beg your pardon. Cut it out, Eddie. These mugs ain't kidding. Mr. Arnold, what are you doing here? What, Mike? For two fantastic days, I've been chasing you and you ask what I am doing here? Oh, you must have been involved with my twin brother. He's been around here impersonating me. Oh, your twin brother. He's not at York anymore, Mr. Long. No, now he's somebody's twin brother. Instead of beating you up, I should get ready for this moment as a public service. Oh, this is good. Mr. Arnold, exactly what do you want? What do I... All right, I will tell you once again. Two years ago, you placed a bet with me. That's right. I lost $12,000 to you at Hyalia. You act as though you hadn't been paid. I see if I hadn't... But I told my uncle to pay you. He evidently overlooked it. He certainly did. Well, I'll make you out of check right now. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. If you don't mind. Well, why you never refuse to check of mine before? Uh, would you mind writing your name, please? Well, not at all. There. Ah, Francis Pembert. Are you sure this time the signature is correct? Well, of course I'm sure. Uh, you. You seem to have an honest face. Is this his signature? Yeah, that's his, all right. Thank you. But when are you going to beat him up? All right, make out the check, Mr. Bemberton. Hey, Grandpa, is that him? Or him? Oh, that's him. Then where's Eddie? Eddie, hey! But, Joan, I tell you, I didn't know I had a twin brother. I had to pretend I was Francis. It was my only chance of getting our $3,000 back. You could have told the truth. Well, every time I did, nobody'd believe me. You wouldn't have believed me, would you? All right, I agree with you. I wouldn't have believed you. And furthermore, I don't believe you now. Oh, Joan, listen. Eddie, Eddie, is that you? Hey, the guy is back. Pemberton. Yeah, I know. Joan just told me. He's right inside now, paying Arnold off. He is? Joan, this is what I've been trying to tell you. Now I can prove it. I hope I haven't caused you too much inconvenience, Mr. Arnold. Inconvenience? No, no, no, not at all. Just here, here is your bomb check and your wallet with the $3,000. Bomb check? Wallet? Well, I can't take this, Mr. Arnold. It isn't mine. Where did you get this check? Why, you... No, no, no, no, no, no. Such a strange, strange case. Oh, this must be the check Uncle Wills was talking about. Oh, yes, yes, we... Mr. Long, come, I must get out of here. Coming out of the house? Mr. Arnold? Yeah. He's still got our $3,000. Hey, Mr. Arnold. Mr. Long, look, Pemberton. What we just left him is... Mr. Long, certain things are beginning to dawn upon me. Well, you've got your money, didn't you, from Mr. Pemberton in there? Just a minute, just a minute here, you are on the terrace and inside the house, sitting in that library where the light is... Is Francis Pemberton. So could I please have my wallet? Yes, I am beginning to understand then you are... Eddie York, that's what I've been trying to tell you. Sure, we're mink ranchers. Only we ain't got a mink or a ranch. Well, well, well... Mr. Long, we made such a mistake. Yeah, some joke. Mr. Arnold, my wallet. Oh, yes, yes. Mr. York, I have done your grave injustice. My profound apologies and your waltz. Here, now look, Joan, you see, there's our $3,000. Now do you believe me? Yes, I do believe you. Then let's go, Eddie, huh? We're off to the minks. Eddie, before you leave, would you go in and talk to Francis? What do I want to talk to him for? But he thinks Mary kidnapped Susan. He does. Kidnapped? Well, he can't be that stupid, can he? Didn't anybody explain to him? Yes, someone did explain. Uncle Will's. Oh, I see. And Uncle Will's is called the police. Well, all right, I'll talk to him. But Joan, before I go in, there's something I want to tell you. Chuck, will you keep an eye on Joan's bags down the driveway there? Huh? Oh, I get it. Sure. Lamour. You know, Joan, when I talked to you this afternoon, when I thought Chuck and I were leaving... Yes. Well, I know I said a lot of things that didn't make sense, then, but at the time, I figured the sensible thing to do was for Chuck and me to go on to Beaver Dam, and then after we got all set, why, I was going to come back and ask you to marry me. You were, Eddie? Yeah, but, well, I didn't go, and now you're leaving the house, and that changes everything, doesn't it? Well, yes, I guess it does. But I think it's better this way, don't you? Because now we can all go to Beaver Dam together, and, well, while you're fixing up the house, Chuck and I can be out working with the minks, and how's that sound to you? Well, Eddie, I think it would be just the... Eddie, Eddie. I know you ain't interested, but do you hear that siren? The police? Yeah, coming up the driveway. Yeah, I'll take care of this. Eddie, but how? Look, that's Mary and Susan in the car. They found them. Yeah, I've been Francis Pemberton for two days now. I guess I can stand it for five minutes more. But if Francis should come out and found out... Don't worry. If he does, try to come out stalling. Well, I don't know Eddie. I don't know that... John, hurry up to here! Oh, uh, good evening, officers. You'll miss the Pemberton? That's right. Well, we got him. Oh, you and the little girl can get out now, lady. I'm afraid there's been a little mistake, officers. Well, this here is her, ain't it? Well, yes. Francis, what a horrible thing to do. Well, I'm sorry, Mary. They're not going to take Mommy to jail, are they? Oh, no, of course not, Susan. I'm very sorry about all this, officers. I thought this was a kidnapping. Well, no, not exactly. Well, yes, it's to pick them up, didn't you? Well, yes, I did, but it was a mistake. Say, what kind of a razzle-dazzle are you people trying to pull? You think we're running a taxi service? The minute I heard it was Pemberton, I said to myself... Well, you did your duty, officers. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. You better watch your step, see? Wasting the taxpayer's money. Come on, Gus, let's get out of this booby joint. Francis, you must be out of your mind to humiliate me like this. You told me I could take, Susan. You told me so yourself. I know, Mary. Then what happened? Well, Mary, I... Look, Joan's inside. Why doesn't Susan run in and... and Joan can put her to bed? She looks all tired out. Well, maybe you'd better, darling. Mommy will be in in a minute. Good night, Susan. Mary, Mary. All I can say is that I didn't do what you think I did. It was Uncle Will's. Uncle Will's? Yes. Well, you don't have to shout, Francis. Did Uncle Will's know when he telephoned the police that I had Susan with your permission? Well, you see, I... Or were you too weak-need to tell him? Oh, I was so hopeful this morning. It wasn't just that you let me take Susan. You seem so changed, so different. I see how mistaken I was. Uncle Will's has you so completely hypnotized that you've absolutely no mind of your own anymore. You're the way you are, and I guess there's... Is that Grandpa there in the library window? Yes, that's Grandpa. I didn't realize we had an audience, Grandpa. Well, don't let me interrupt you, Mary. I don't know what an audience is a good thing sometimes. I think maybe you're right, Grandpa. If he had any brains in that skull of his, Francis Pemberton would do a little thinking. Well, I... I'll go in and say good night to Susan, and then I'll leave. I want to talk to you again, Mary. I wouldn't do you any good. Oh, don't say that. You're a swell person, and I've treated you terribly. If I have any sense at all, and I hope I have, why, it might do a lot of good. I'll be waiting for you in the library, Mary. All right, Francis. Hello, Grandpa. Where is he, Mary? Oh, there he is. Eddie Boy, you're wonderful. Are you sure Francis heard what we said? He's no account, but he ain't deep. I was sitting right next to him in the library. We heard every word. Now, when Mary comes down... I told her to meet me in the library. Don't worry, Francis will be there. He can pick up where you left off or not, but I still think it's best that Mary never finds out there was two of you. Uh, I guess maybe you're right. Eddie? Oh, uh, Joan. Uh, Grandpa, will you excuse us a minute? Oh, sure, sure. Lots of things happen around this house tonight. Where's Chuck? Joan, uh, you never did get a chance to answer any of them about Beaver Dam, I mean. How about it? Well, Eddie, it sounds wonderful, but getting married is something a girl thought I'd have a little time to think about. Oh, sure, sure, I understand. I'll give you two minutes. Pardon me. Oh, Chuck. In case anybody cares, there's another car coming up. Uncle Will's? He gets a chance to talk to Francis before... Look, uh, do you think Francis would listen if Uncle Will's told him himself? Of course he would. That's all I wanted to know. Chuck, start walking down the drive. I want Uncle Will's to see you. Hmm? Oh, okay, mastermind. And Joan, uh, you'd better get out of sight. And, uh, keep thinking about that, will you? I ain't had so much fun in years. I'll just, uh, stand here in the terrace and hope for the best. Hi, Uncle Will's, old kid. How's the old schnoz? Oh, so it's you, is it? Yeah, you want to make something out of it? Well, I'll attend to you later. Is that you, Grandpa? It ain't Sandy Claus. Well, did they get him? That imposter? Yep, they got him. He's in the library, Will's. We're just waiting for the police to take him away. Uh, Uncle Will's, I haven't time for you now, Francis. I've got a few things to say to that criminal in there. But I want to know what's going on. He's made some pretty serious charges. Charges? What charges? Against you. Oh, that's ridiculous. And while I was away, Mary wrote me some letters. What happened to it? Well, I destroyed them. Anything I've done has been done entirely in your own interest. Now, I want you to go to your room, Francis. You just wait a minute. I found out that Mary didn't kidnap Susan. She thought she had my permission. And you knew that when you called the police. I'll explain everything later. Now, you go to your room until I call you. I have a few things to say to that imposter. Well, my fine-freithed friend, it didn't work out, did it? No, I guess it didn't. Coming here posing as Francis Pemberton. What kind of a child do you think I am? But I understand you made some charges against me. There will be a few more, too. That's absolutely nothing you could do that could embarrass me in any way. It merely happens that because this stupid nephew of mine is back here mooning over his ex-wife, you have a sort of temporary nuisance value to me. Oh, I have. So I'll make you a proposition. Promise to get out of town, and I'll make good that check I gave you this morning. If you don't, I guarantee to put you behind the bars for 20 years. Do I make myself clear? Very clear. Good. Now, take off that robe and get out of this house immediately. Thanks, Uncle Wills, for letting me know how stupid you think I am. What are you talking about? About a little mistake you've made. I'm Francis. Francis? I just sent Francis up to his room. I know. I heard you talking to him. Except it wasn't Francis. It was my twin brother. Uncle Wills, I don't know exactly what you're trying to pull, lying to me about Mary and sending me off to Mexico. But whatever it is, it's all over. Now, wait a minute, Francis. I can explain. You can save your explanation for the auditors because I intend to find out for whose benefit you've been managing my affairs. Now, get out of here. What, my dear boy? Francis, I said get out of here. Stay out. Francis, you've done it. And right down the schnoz again. Francis, you... Mary, don't say anything, Mary. Just try to forgive me. And stay here. Please stay here. Oh, darling. Darling. Francis has come to his senses at last, thanks to you. Yeah. You know, Grandpa, I kind of wish I'd met him at that. He'd be worth meeting now. Yeah, but I don't think now's quite the time, Grandpa. Eddie, can we please get out of here? What about them menks? Well, that's right. Well, come on, Joan. But, Eddie, I haven't said I'd go yet. Well, that's right. You haven't, have you? Well, will you? Of course, you will. Won't you? Well, I... Well, yes. There you are. Goodbye, Eddie. Goodbye, Grandpa. Goodbye, Joan, dear. Goodbye, Chuck. So long, Gramps. Hey, wait a minute. That's my car. That's right, Uncle. And you're driving us into town, ain't you? I most certainly am not. Ain't you? Oh, very well. Get in. Everything's all set, Joan. We can get on the train in five minutes. Just a minute. Oh, no! Oh, relax, Mr. York. Relax. I forgot for a minute. Here. Here, this box with my compliments. For me, Mr. Arnold? Open it. Now, look out, Eddie. It's probably a bomb. I regret so much the inconvenience I have caused. You're a little gesture of apology. Eddie! Oh! Hey, this is wonderful, Mr. Arnold. Chuck! Look! Eddie, rats! Eddie! They're minks! Sure they're minks! They agree. They're here on the paper. Yes, I don't know what to say, Mr. Arnold. Joan, this puts us right in business. They're beautiful. Mr. Arnold, thanks. If you ever get the beaver dam, you look us up, huh? Well, thank you. Well, goodbye, Mr. York. Goodbye, miss. Goodbye, clock. Chuck. Oh, I love to see happy people. Well, you know, Joan, we've been so busy, I haven't had a chance to tell you how pretty you are. Well, you can start right now. All right. Here, hold this box, Chuck, will you? I hope I don't have to listen to this mush all the way to Wisconsin. Chuck can ride in the club car, can he, Eddie? Sure, Chuck and the minks. If anybody ever told me I'd wind up as nice-mate to a couple at... Hey, Eddie. Hey, Eddie! What's the matter? The box. Something's happened to them or I got the DTs. Why, they... Yes, they have. One, two, three, four, five. Five kittens. Eddie! Hey, what do you know? 250% profit already! We take leave of Joan and Eddie on their way to Beaver Dam and meet them again as they are in real life. Fred McMurray and Marguerite Chapman. Fred, I don't think many of our audience know that Beaver Dam is actually your hometown. Well, that's right, Bill. It's a great place, too. I grew up there. Is that where you learned to play the saxophone? Well, Bill, let's just say that that's where I tried to learn to play the saxophone. You must have had some very tolerant neighbors, Fred. Well, I didn't have them very long, if you get what I mean. What's your hometown, Bill? Philadelphia. But my ancestors came from the English town of Keely. K-E-E-L-E-Y? No, spelled like my own name. K-E-I-G-H-L-E-Y. I understand, Marguerite, you came from White Plains, New York. That's right, Bill. As a child, my ambitions were to become an actor. I hope in your early training you didn't overlook lux toilet soap. As a matter of fact, I've always used lux toilet soap for my complexion. It's a great help. And I'm sure that lovely complexion is one reason you're a star in Columbia Pictures' latest mystery. Well, that's one we'll have to see. What's the title, Marguerite? The Walls Came Tumbling Down. Well, I'll pick a seat where I won't get hit. Put a tack on the seat, Fred, and you'll have the name of your next Paramount production. Suddenly, it's spring. Sudden spring, you get the point, Fred? Well, no, but while I'm working on it, why don't you tell us what you have for next week, Bill? Next Monday night, we're bringing our audience RKO's exciting mystery, Deadline at Dawn. Starring Joan Blondell, Paul Lucas, and Bill Williams. Take a baffling murder mystery, set a deadline on resolving it, and you can get ready for plenty of breathtaking thrills, fast action, and suspense with more than a sprinkling of romance. I wouldn't miss it, Bill. Good night. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.