 Sup guys, it's me. We're back and we're in my apartment here God has been a journey, hasn't it? We're six weeks. It's actually six. I'm gonna say almost seven weeks into My journey to move from New Zealand back to Australia after spending 12 months in Christchurch Getting my shit together Did I really get my shit together? Probably not but we're here. We've been here for almost seven weeks in Rockhampton and Look the first thing I'm gonna say is it's it's day-to-day. It is totally day-to-day. My mood Goes up and down. It really does The time that I struggle with and the time that I've always struggled with is the evenings You know when six or seven o'clock rolls around And I don't have anything to do and I don't have any weed to smoke and I don't want to drink alcohol God that that that three or four hour period from six to about 10 p.m. It's tough. It's really tough and Look, I'm happy to say that for the last few days I haven't drunk any alcohol, but I have to be honest and say that The only way that I've gotten through those periods with a smile on my face Whether that be genuine or not is to drink and so a lot of the time a lot of my spare time away from my YouTube channel away from my kids and You know the time that I'm spending alone is Not alone because I've got alcohol to keep me company, but it simply can't continue like that I'm not living my most optimal life and it is reducing my self-esteem when I really need to be raising it So there's a couple things that I've been doing to try and raise that self-esteem over the last Week or so the last time I saw you was after five weeks and Yeah, there's been a few positives in my life. So I'm not drinking alcohol near nearly as much as I was second thing is I'm still marijuana-free which is a Journey in the self the third thing is I had my daughter over for the first time and that's going to continue every now And then certainly not That regularly but it's gonna happen, which is you know, it's it's not easy. It's not easy looking after kids looking after little kids Entertaining them keeping them entertained, but I do my best and that's all you can do That's why I'm here in Rockhampton is to be near them. So I'm doing my best guys some days look I have to be honest I do feel I feel like a failure. I Feel like a failure of a dad. I feel like I'm not seeing them enough. I feel like Why can't you Really enjoy their company? Why can't you like I love them, but God they're three and one it is tough It's tough and sometimes I feel like I pinned my happiness on Coming here and spending time with them and at the end of the day. I mean with The way things have gone with my ex. It's made it tough. It really has it's not being as easy as what I thought and Look, I'm just working through it. These videos are for me to update you guys the ones that care about my personal life the ones that are backing me with What's happening? And I think you guys Enjoy it deserve it my YouTube channel is is my place to work through things It's my place to get things off of my chest and that's exactly what I'm doing in these week vlogs these weekly vlogs After living here in Rockhampton for almost seven weeks. So I'm happy to say that I've Been to the gym I've been to the gym twice in a row, which is something I haven't done yet So today if I go back when I go back, it'll be three times in a row That is raising myself esteem I've had Tate over like I said, that's raising myself esteem. I have been able to control my alcohol that's raising myself esteem I have I've started a diet So to speak on Saturday, so today's Tuesday. I've started a diet on Saturday that is basically just producing the shit in my diet and going towards Healthier foods fresh foods. I still eat quite a lot. My appetite is certainly up. I went to the gym. I weighed myself I'm 96 kgs Put them into perspective. I was sitting at around 87 for my show late last year So, you know, I've put on nearly 10 kg and I can certainly see it You know, I certainly don't have any abs at the moment, but that's something I'd love to get back So to raise that self-esteem even higher. I want to continue dieting down and Get some abs back man. That'll be great. So moving forward over the next few weeks I'm gonna be focusing on that in the background and Just trying to live my best life here in Rockhampton I got fucked over by the real estate agent well and truly and I still am they got back to me. They said We had a personal emergency We will provide a professional clean that was on Thursday last week. It's it's Tuesday today They still haven't said a word after they didn't reply for two more days. I Send them a text back and I said I told them the truth. I told them the truth. Where is my phone? I mean the way I was feeling there was no other option but to Tell them the truth. Okay, so I said look I'm sorry to hear that you had a personal emergency But it was absolutely horrible to walk into and even worse to have to clean it myself I felt like walking straight back out, but I couldn't because you had my security bond The place has a bad ant infestation which it does and a wasps nest that won't go away As I've already tried to do it myself So it definitely needs some sort of repellent spray done Please let me know what the go is No reply Also, the on-site managers were getting up me about the front garden that was overgrown He says he isn't paid to look after it. So I've done that myself too and that's exactly right I feel like I am alienated in this block in this unit block because the owner of the unit that I Stay in has not put The management of it with the on-site managers. So they basically hate honestly They hate anyone that lives in this unit block That doesn't provide them with any income and you know, it doesn't make sense to have the real estate agent in a place like the Gold Coast It sucks this guy This groundsman who lives on site. He's been doing it for 19 years. He still has to come and mow my lawns, right? and I finally met him I met him in the in the car park and he basically said that I Had to do something about the front yard because there was these weeds that were being overgrown and I look I Just walk straight past it every time I come inside. I don't have time to look at the fucking garden. It's not my you know, it's Look, I wasn't in the best of spirits. Anyway look, I Tried to get him on side. I tried to say look I I Side with you, you know what I mean? I used to own a rental property like this in a complex like this and I decided to go with the on-site property managers I understand. I'm sorry, but yet, you know, I've seen him around a couple more times and I just feel like there's this This thing, you know this this tension in the air and I don't like it. I don't like it I shouldn't have to fucking deal with it But I am so anyway, I went outside in the front yard and I pulled out all the fucking weeds I put them in my bin. I've got no more space in my bin for anything else for the next week But it doesn't matter at least it's done. And so that's what I was meaning. So so you know what? For anyone that doesn't want to help me For anyone that doesn't want to be on my side Fuck you That's how I feel, you know, but it's all good. It's cleared He does still mow my lawn, but he was adamant. He said this about ten times in our conversation. I don't get paid for that You know, I don't get paid for that. No, we don't get paid for that It's like fucking hell. I heard you the bloody first time mate. Just let it go. I'll sort it out Yeah, we don't get paid for that. So you better sort that out. God damn Anyways, that is what it is, mate. It is what it is So it hasn't been the most ideal introduction to this unit block, but I'm still here still haven't heard back from my real estate agent Absolutely ridiculous, but I will take I'll happily take professional clean I will happily take professional clean even though I cleaned it myself. I thought you know what do I do? I go back to them and say nah, just Just give me the money off of the rent that It would have cost or do I you know take the professional clean and just let them come in and do it And I'm gonna take it so I'm still waiting still waiting for them to come back I definitely want them to spray the place to get rid of these ants because they're coming out of like the walls man, they're coming out of cracks in the walls and I mean What can you do about that? There's probably ant fucking nests within the walls. I don't know. There probably is I don't know I don't want to think about it So I'll leave it there It needs a good spray and needs a good clean still and I'm waiting on them to do that anyway I'm feeling good this morning. I Hope that comes through on the video. You just got to roll with the punches, man Doesn't matter where you are doesn't matter what situation you're in you just got to roll with the punches you've got to have ah You've got to have something to look towards and I'm looking towards a trip to the state still. I'm looking forward to coming to the states this year Later on in the year and attending my first NFL football game That's that's that's the thing that I've got in my head. You know what I mean? to keep me going to keep me motivated to keep me positive and Hey, you've always got to have a goal my everyday goal guys is to be in my kid's life My two kids, but you've got to have a personal goal You do and at the end of the day my goal is to fucking make it states. I want some for all and Go to a game go to two games go to ten games. Who cares? I've just got to get there You know what I mean? I just got to get there and I know that we're gonna have some fun We really are so some days I I I'm depressed Some days. I'm ecstatic that mood will you know sway to and fro throughout each and every day But that's just the way I am. So anyway, that's my update. I hope you enjoyed. Thank you one and all for the support It almost is like the Truman show and I haven't even seen the Truman show. That's a that's a movie I have to watch someone has said on multiple occasions that this is almost like the Truman show now I'm led to believe that Jim Carrey's in the Truman show He's living his life, but his life is being shown as like is there hidden cameras everywhere videoing him do people decide as As viewers of the show what he does in life like that's fucking fascinating. It really is fascinating I'm gonna have to watch it. In fact, I'm gonna watch it now So once and for all, thank you so much for the support. Thank you for watching and peace out