 This is Think Tech Hawaii, Community Matters here. Aloha, and welcome to Think Tech Hawaii. I'm Glenn Martinez from Olimana Gardens, and I want to share a few things with you. One is we used to do weddings at Olimana Gardens. Weddings, graduation parties, that sort of thing. We don't do that anymore. We're strictly into aquaponics and our horses now. But back in the day when we did do the weddings, I met some very interesting people. And one of the more interesting people that I met is the young lady that's with me today. She was a minister with Methodist Church at the time. But this is Cynthia Lee Sinclair. Hello. Yeah, so this is a special program today because this is all over the news. And sometimes you think we're a gardening show, but I'll tell you what, when you're out in a gardening, in fact on the farm, we have a joke that goes on. People say, wow, the farm is so peaceful. You know, all the animals and all of that. And we go, yeah, in between the rapes and the murders. And it's kind of a joke on a farm, you know, because sometimes the farm is not all peaceful and all easy going. Nor is it with the people on a farm. We have college interns come. We have people from, we've done 28 different countries have come and trained at Olimana Gardens. And we've had people from 17 years old to 74 years old. And when you do that, you have social problems. You have social issues that come up. And the one that you came to share with us today is come up for us as anybody who works with groups, particularly youth groups or mixed ages groups coming on. And it gets out of hand to the point where we joke, sometimes we say no couples. We're not doing any couples anymore, you know. But because couples are drama. That's from a teacher standpoint on the farm and to sort it out. Particularly if you have absolutely no social skills at sorting out a people's skill, it's even rougher. I'm better with the plants and the fish than I am with people. But I want to talk to you about what your mission is. Can you tell us about what the mission you're on now? Well, one of the things that I've just come back from is a trip around the world. I was awarded a couple of very prestigious study abroad scholarships. And I wrote my own independent study program. And I went to 10 countries during the spring semester. The title of my study was Domestic Violence and Child Abuse in Cross-Cultural Comparison. And what I was doing was kind of looking at, you know, the different ways different countries are dealing with these issues. And one of the great programs that I learned about was the White Ribbon Campaign. And I brought that back with me and I'm trying to get it started here in Hawaii. And I think there's a video that we can show that talks a little bit more about my trip and what the White Ribbon Campaign is. And then after that maybe we can talk a little bit more. And this is kind of a trailer to a full-length movie that you're going to do, right? A full-length documentary, right? That's exactly right. This is like the little taste, the little teaser, so to speak, for the full-length one that's going to be coming out in the spring. Good show. I'm sure it'll give everybody a little idea, a little better idea anyway of what my trip was all about. Good show. Who do we roll that please? It's really interesting that in Maori culture there was no domestic violence present in their culture. But they are starting to work on programs that get the Maori back in touch with that original Maori culture that they have. And it was really exciting to see. There's a program called MANA, which is really a need program where they give these 12-week seminars to teach men to be better fathers, to be better husbands, and how to stand up to each other also. Hi there. My name is Nahirata Gardner. My role here at Awanuiarangi, Te Pariwana o Awanuiarangi is student-supported bison. A few years ago there was one particular student and it was through referring them to counselling and really leaning on them that they both seek counselling help. I was right beside them because we can refer them, but we're not too sure whether they're going there. So, you know, for that particular student there, I ensured that I followed that all the way through. They still work at their marriage. They have two beautiful children, but they are happy and the violence has stopped. And I said to my father, can you take them home and have them stay with us? And he said, you know, we can't do that. There's no lodge. You can't take children and have them stay with you. Oh, I said, you've got to change that. And he said, well, you've got to go up and get educated and do something about it. And I said, I will. I've been working for rights for women. And I've been in 30 years since then. I've seen some problems, but by no means, you know, where we can be today, you know what I mean? The welfare and the safety of our children. What we can do is we can put the safe place posters, cards, pamphlets, information in every church. Every woman can take a card, have the number of a helpline, the number of a counsellor. All of the important numbers are there in every church to do that. It's just a source of information. It's not necessarily going to solve the problem. But it might give the person who needs it a lifeline at exactly the right moment or a telephone number at a crucial time when they need to call for help. I was really encouraged just so you know that people are really raising awareness levels everywhere in the world and laws are changing that further protect the victim and further punish the abusers. We're going to be starting a new program called the White Ribbon Campaign and we're going to be asking men to agree to wear a white ribbon and in putting that ribbon on they're taking a pledge to not commit, condone or keep silent about domestic violence or about violence against women and girls. Okay, you will not commit? We will not commit. Or condone? Or condone. Or keep silent? Or keep silent. About violence against women and girls. About violence against women and girls. So help me God. Thank you guys very much for listening. Well, that was quite an eye-opener. But for myself, I sometimes think of when you think of domestic violence and that I think of it as just an American thing, you know. And many families have the uncle that nobody talks about kind of thing and it kind of gets hushed up, you know. And when somebody does kind of bring it up temptation to say, you know, be quiet it's just part of growing up, you know, your kid just, you know, you don't ruin somebody's reputation and all that, you're just a kid. But I'm really interested in these white ribbons Okay, I'm going to ask you to wear one. I can wear one? Yes, please. And when you put that on, you're agreeing to take the pledge. And the pledge is that you will not commit, condone, or keep silent about violence against women and girls. Which is the same pledge that we just saw the senators and the representative take. The white ribbon campaign started in Canada in 1991. I learned about it in Geneva. So it's an international program. It's actually all over the world, but it's not really in America for some reason. It's not anywhere in Hordi at all. But it started in Canada, you said? It started in Canada in 1991. And you mentioned earlier that Canada has one of the lowest incidents? Of domestic violence, yes, right. They do, and there's a lot of reasons I think involve the whole way they approach the legal system. There's not actual laws against domestic violence because it's just considered assault. There's mechanisms in place within those laws to help protect the victims from being put at further risk and all. But so I think maybe that's why because their laws are so different and people are so different in Canada. It's not just that they're extra nice, which they are, extra nice up there. But the thing is that this program is all about getting men involved into the prevention part of domestic violence because right now it's still, even up to the highest levels in our government, having issues with let's just push it away. Oh, let's not get anybody, just locker room talk, right? And it's that good old boy thing that is unfortunately perpetuating domestic violence. So what are the boundaries? When you say domestic violence, are you talking about just people being beat on? Are you talking about sexual things? The definition of domestic violence is changing every day. And just recently, when I was in Scotland, they were changing the laws. While I was there, the law was being changed and put into effect to include emotional abuse and financial coercion also. So there's a broad spectrum of things that define domestic violence. Any kind of controlling behavior that limits someone's ability to have that independence and... So it's not necessarily just hitting somebody, but just financially? I was emotionally abused for many, many years in my first marriage. When he wasn't able to control me anymore with that emotional abuse, it turned to physical. He fractured my skull, put me in the hospital. And I know it sort of goes back to his own abuse when he was a kid. It's that whole generational issue that happens. And until we start to break some of those patriarchal rules that men don't have to be held accountable, until we break those rules, we're not going to get any kind of measurable, sustainable change. And I'm really encouraged now with all the people that are coming forward to campaign and all of this other stuff that has just begun, it's really amazing to not feel like I'm a voice crying in the wilderness anymore, because now there's lots of people that are out there speaking their minds and sharing their stories. And just today, a couple of the senators have now entered in a whole new program in the Senate to... Just our local Senate here in Hawaii? No, no, this is the national in Washington, DC to not allow these guys like this, you know, the Roy Moors and the people like that. Apparently there are two open inappropriate sexual advance type things going on, cases right now in the Senate. And... Against sitting senators? Against sitting senators. Two sitting senators have a suit against them as we speak. But because of the way it's set up, it's not set up for the victims, they don't get any support. They have to wait 90 days before they can even report it and go forward with any kind of legal recourse for it. That's exactly what they call it, a cooling off period. And then they make it so difficult for them to even try to go after the abuser that most victims just say forget it. They don't want to lose their job or they don't want to lose their life. And I've seen in our local news that we're finally clearing the backlog of the sexual abuse kits into the rape kits, so you call them, right? We had like, I forget the number, it was like 1,200 of them. We've cleared off 4,800 of them and we have 400 more to go. But some of these things have languished way too long. And nothing happens until that report comes back, right? So those victims are all sitting on the side. Just sitting there waiting, not able to do anything but feel shame and all that stuff that goes along with it. But in reality, there is healing on the other side of the abuse for these people. And I think that having abusers stand up and be accountable goes a really long ways in helping these women to process it. Somebody made a comment on the More thing over in Alabama that this happened a long time ago. I mean, like, let it go already. The guy was 32, she was 14, she was 16. And I love it, the guy says, I always ask their mothers, you know? I just, I love how the guys confess, you know? Right, exactly. Stay no more, right? But it's kind of ironic, criminally, we can't do anything but as somebody said, how do you set a senator in that you would likely have to start proceedings to removing? So to me, it's a big wake-up call. I think also that's on the sexual side, on the abuse side, what happened over there in that church in Texas to come out that that young Air Force man, really they come out and they say normally a lot of this stuff is all hush-hush because the people are minors and he said, he broke his kid's head. He cracked his skull and he did a year in prison in the Air Force and then got a less than honorable discharge and is out, okay? And of course the Air Force is now admitting they blew it. They forgot to tell the world that they had a domestic abuser which would not be allowed to own guns. You never should have been able to allow a gun. So the Air Force has said at least they're stoning up saying this one. So there's a whole wake-up call going on in people that we do it. And here I belong to different organizations here in the community and all of a sudden you find out somebody in your club was a pedophile or that. They did their time, they served their time but now they're on that list. What is that? The sexual offenders and the rest of their life, right? So in a sense there is no statute of limitations and like more, you may not legally be able to do anything. But we can stop them from being a senator. I hope so. I'm really concerned about that that so many people in the South are willing to look the other way and put, you know, been saying they put party over country and now they're putting party over their own morals because there's no way they can claim that they're Christians and allow or condone this kind of thing that pledge is I will not commit condone or keep silent. Thank you very much. About violence against women and girls. It's such an important issue and so often these guys are able to get away with it. Like and in the South the good old boy syndrome is really, really big and I know this because I was a United Methodist minister in the South for 10 years. I was a woman in the pulpit so some of my parishioners wouldn't even come to the church because I was a woman in the pulpit. And things like this so there's that good old boy syndrome is really in place down there for a lot of reasons but they all want to protect him because like you said, oh it happened a long time ago just let it go. Well, you know they might have been willing to let it go and these girls have all said they were going to just let it go until they found out this man was going to maybe go to the U.S. Senate and then they felt compelled to say something because a man like that does not deserve to be there and you know one of the I don't think they would have got an audience in Alabama I don't think anybody would even take their case in Alabama against an Alabama sitting judge a little or no chance or something happened. But when it stepped up to the national platform all of a sudden they can't squash it quite so easy. You know when the Washington Post picks it up or the New York Times picks it up then it goes off. And one of the oddity things I find about that whole story is they're coming out now saying that people that worked with him said, oh yes he got banned from a mall because he was hanging around the teenagers in the house of a teenager. I mean he got banned from the mall and then they talked to fellow workers they said well I think I was a bit weird that way so everybody knew and everybody went like no harm is coming of it and that's the treasure the Hollywood director on Weiner where girls are coming up saying you know they're in a room the guy comes into her room and that and master base or something just really weird and then leaves the room and she tells everybody in the morning she does not keep her mouth shut and everybody says, oh that's Harry he's like that no way so it's kind of like that director's casting couch thing it's gone way too far what people will do to go over you know to be around so liberty and power. So yeah it says come up then for it. So when you went to what countries did you go to? Well I started in New Zealand because we have our sister campus there and so I went to Pei Katoenanga O'avo Nuiarangi for Wynward College for UH yeah we have a sister campus or sister college I should say it's a really wonderful tribal school in Fakatani, New Zealand in the North Island so I went and I spent 10 days with the people there sort of comparing what what they're doing on their campus compared to what we're doing on our campus here in Hawaii and then I went to western Europe I went to Rome and took a train all across western Europe and then went to Scotland where I got to spend a little time looking at my own heritage and I'm half Scottish so and then I went from there to Ireland and then Canada and then back home again. Fantastic we'll take a little short break here and I want to talk to you about Ireland. Okay stay with us we'll be right back. Think Tech Hawaii I believe we bring very interesting topics and objective matter to the community. For the first time Think Tech Hawaii is participating in a campaign to raise $40,000 give thanks to Think Tech we'll run during the month of November and you can help please donate what you can so that Think Tech Hawaii continue to raise public awareness and promote civic engagement through free programming like mine I've already made my donation and look forward to yours please send your tax deductible contribution by going to this website thanks for thinktech.causebox.com on behalf of the community enriched by Think Tech Hawaii's 30 plus weekly shows thank you or mahalo for your generosity Hi welcome back now each week we like to have a tool because I'm a tool guy not quite Tim the tool guy but the ladies in my life Natalie and Liz from time to time think that I should show more interesting jewelry right I think they meant for them but I went out and I tried to find something so I bought one in black and I bought one in silver one is American and the other one is metric and this is so cool because this is a guy's tool let me tell you have you ever wondered what the thread is of something well you take this and you has the female and the male so you can see what the tool thread in and if it threads in easy so cool written legibly where even my tired old eyes can read it tells me what it is so when I go into the store I walk up and I see I need an MA 18 metric bolt right now that's if it's a bolt if it's a nut you thread it on so if you come over here and it's similar thing if it threads on it threads on nice and easy and no wobble you then read it and say oh this one is an M2 15 and that's the size of it so it's really cool and I thought you know if you want to buy ladies some jewelry get them something practical you can wear it so many different places and it does sizes you know so it's kind of cool and this gets actually used more than you would think in a shop where you're hunting for nuts and bolts and stop cross threading things saves all repeat trips to the store but back to that's very cool you know what we didn't do though we did not um have you take the pledge really raise your right hand raise my right hand I will not I will not commit I will not commit or condone or condone or keep silent or keep silent about violence against women and girls against violence against women and girls there you go it's the one never never going to happen well I think you know if we can just get men involved we can really make some sustainable important changes and until we get men involved we're not going to get the kind of changes that we want mm-hmm yeah so one of the hard parts is nobody wants to air their family's dirty laundry right so that that has been a problem for a long long time the other one is I think people are starting to learn that they have to pick when to speak up and sometimes it's like the more thing is when you say no it's okay if you may talk small town but you go up big leave you represent America no not you now they'll put it up the other thing I found very strange is that the people are speaking up sometime if it's just a 16 or 17 year old girl it's a kids word against an adult and they can make up stories and embellish stories and that but then when you come up with somebody a woman sitting there 50 years old telling about the worst night of her life or why she didn't date for another five years or blah blah blah exactly and the effect it had her life and tell you straight no it was wrong I should have I was told to shut up you know and some of them wanted to speak up right but also back in that day when these things were happening people are not quick to sue for this kind of stuff you didn't you didn't just go out there and throw it down well there were no laws there was no mechanisms in place to bring a lawsuit someone I was molested as a child by my father and I had blocked all memory of it until I was 30 years old and I was involved in one of the first delayed discovery suits is what they're called because of course you know that statute of limitations had long past but back in the early 80s there was some suits that started coming out with that delayed discovery and so I actually one which was really an amazing empowering feeling to finally stand up and make him accountable yes he was oh yeah and he was held accountable and had to pay for my therapy so yeah but it was more any reconciliation out of it no I would not ever reconcile with him ever it was hard enough for me to reconcile with my mother who was the non-protective parent you know like where were you mom just sit by and watch all this and let it happen but you know because I am a victim I should say a survivor I should say wait a soldier because the war is not over yet that's where my passion comes from and that's why I'm so driven to go out and help as many people as I can while I was working as a United Methodist minister my specialty was working with domestic violence victims and child abuse victims and so now that I'm back in school to get my social work degree I'll couple it with my pastoral license I hope to still work it'll be social work and I hope to be able to be a pastoral counselor working under the umbrella of the Methodist church still and work one on one with domestic violence victims and child abuse victims do you feel that the people connect to you more because you were also victimized oh gosh yes otherwise people say don't tell me you know what I feel how could you know what I feel and you can honestly say I do know what you feel and it goes beyond that even when I would go out on cases with my mentor who has all the PhD degrees stuff and things all the book learning things and I had nothing at the time I was just a nobody and all of the people almost every single time which is glom onto me before they knew my past before they knew anything about my experience they would just instantly connect to me and bond with me and we'd be leaving and my mentor would be like how do they know how does that happen how do you do that well thank you so much I want to thank you so much for coming today I do take this place seriously I hope you do yes please and I'm going to leave some with you because I want you to give them to all your male friends please I want everyone to wear I want all of Hawaii to know that I am on it I am bringing the white ribbon campaign here to Hawaii I hope that all the men that are listening here today will pick up a white ribbon when they see one they'll take that pledge to heart and they will start to make a difference for domestic violence and child abuse thanks thank you so much for joining us here at Think Tech Hawaii and we'll see you next week thank you very much good fun