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Get on the Lucky level where it's fun to be alive. Get a carton of Lucky's and get started today. Lucky Strike Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, in the life of Jack Benny, Saturday is a hectic day of rehearsals. Sunday is an exciting day of the broadcast. But Monday, ah, Monday, that's the day for rest and relaxation. So, if you promise not to disturb him, I'll take you out to Jack's home in Beverly Hills and see how he spends his day of leisure. Ah, this is wonderful. Nothing to do but just sit here by the fire in this easy chair and smoke a cigarette. Are you comfortable, boss? Oh, yes, very comfortable. Rochester, move that ash tray a little closer, will you please? Here you are. Ah, Rochester, move my chair a little closer. Rochester, move my chair a little closer to the fireplace. Yes, sir. Ah. What a way to relax. Rochester, flick the ashes off my cigarette. Will you please? Yes, sir. Ah. Do you want me to lift your eyelids so you can see the fire? No, no, I'll do it myself. But with these long lashes, they are kind of heavy. Yes, sir, there's nothing like sitting by the open fireplace. Ah. What was that? I just threw one in to help you out. Jesus is wonderful. You know, I think I'll doze off for a while. This chair is so comfortable. Ah. Whoops. I'll have to get that spring fixed. You know, Rochester, I hope nobody stops in today. I just want to sit here and forget everything. Mmm. Boss, what are you fidgeting for? My back itches. Scratch it for me, Rochester. Will you please? Okay. A little higher. To the left. Lower. Up a little. Higher. Higher. Ah. Remember that Chinese back scratcher I used to have? Yeah! You know, you're irrevocable propensity for jocularity is just an inept endeavor to be facetious. Well! Now, look, I want to be alone, so just let me... Oh, there's somebody at the door. I'll get it. Oh, Mr. Wilson. Well, hello, Rochester. Is Mr. Benny in? Yeah, he's right in the den. You know, Mr. Wilson, the boss was kind of upset last week after you got in that argument with him about rugged Kipling and Shakespeare. He found out he was wrong. He felt so ashamed. He ran upstairs through himself across the bed and cried like a baby. No! What a pathetic sight. A gray-haired old baby. Who's out there? It's me, Jack. Well, Don, this is my day off and I'm sort of relaxing. Later on, I'm going to have a masseur come over and give me a massage. Well, Jack, I did the same thing yesterday. Only I had two masseurs. They started working on me at noon. And at six o'clock, when they came up over my stomach, I introduced them. Don and masseur couldn't get over your stomach with a pick and a rope. I'm just kidding, Don. Well, by the way, Jack, regarding that argument we had last week about Shakespeare and Kipling... Yes, yes. I want to thank you for that letter of apology you sent me. That's quite all right. Forget it. Did you receive my reply? Forget it, Don. No, no, Jack, this whole argument was ridiculous. Forget it, Don. And I meant every word when I wrote to you and said that my irrevocable propensity for jocularity was just an inept endeavor to be facetious. Where you going, Rochester? When that line came out of you, I thought you were delirious and called the doctor. I didn't tell you I made it up and the side wasn't easy memorizing it. Now, Don, what'd you come over to see me about? Well, Jack, your quartet's here and they prepared a commercial that they want you to listen to. The sportsman? Hey, I want to relax. I'll hear it tomorrow. Oh, you've got to hear it now, Jack. They're going away on a little vacation tomorrow. They are? Well, where are they now? In the living room. Oh, for heaven's sake. The fellow tries to have just one day to himself and all he gets is... Don. Don, who's that guy in your back? I'm his thoid, Missouri. He hasn't met me yet. Well, get off of him. We've got work to do. Oh, hello, fellas. Boys, Don tells me you're going away for a few days. Where are you going? What we know, then you go where we go where they go. L-S-S-S-S-M-F-F-L-S-M-F-E you'd be when you'd see a love that you will get from smoking lucky strike. Very good, Don. So, Jackson, bye-bye. What dumb guys. Imagine them going into my closet. Boss, they aren't so dumb. What? My suits? Hey, fellas! Don, that he's gone too. Oh, well, I'll see him when they get back. I'm not going to let it spoil my day of relaxation. Now, let's see what'll I do. Read a book or a magazine or maybe... Read a book. Read a book. Hello, Polly. Hello. Boss, is there anything you'd like me to do for you? No, no, Rochester. I'm fine. I just want to take it easy. Well, the television's on. Why don't you watch that? Say, that's a good idea. Hey, look at that prize fight. Gee, television is wonderful. Say, those two fighters are really mixing it. A right, a left? Wow, he's on his knees. The referee's counting. One, two, three. Oh, darn it, the Coleman's pulled their shade down. Yeah, I wish... I wish I had a television set. Hey, maybe my cast will chip in and buy me one for Christmas. Maybe my writers will give me one. Say, maybe... Maybe my sponsor will give me one. Or maybe on New Year's Eve I'll have an extra glass of sherry and buy one myself. I'll see what happens. Mr. Bunny, my money, please. Huh? Gee, Polly. Polly, you sounded just like my violin teacher, Professor LeBlanc. Come to think of it, you look a little like them, too. I think I'll go back in the den now. Oh, Jonathan. I'll get the phone, Rochester. Hello? Hiya, Jackson. Hey, Jackson, I'm all alone at the house and I want you to help me out. What is it, Phil? Well, I'm writing a letter to a friend of mine and I'm stuck. How do you spell entertainer? For heaven's sake, Phil, why do you call with the silly things like that? Why don't you look it up in the dictionary? I did, and it ain't in there. Entertainer? Of course it's in the dictionary. No, it ain't. I looked all through the ends. Naturally, you won't find it in the ends. Entertainer begins with a knee. Entertainer starts with a knee? Certainly, the E is silent, like the P in your first name. My name starts with a P? Phil, don't you even know how to spell your name? What do you do when you sign a check? The same as you. I cry a little. I mean, now look, Phil, the day is my day off. I'm trying to relax. All right, Pops, relax, relax. Maybe if you rest up real good, you can come along with me on the next hunting trip. When I went on last week was a pip, Jackson. We went up in high Sierras. I know, I know. You told me you were going. Tell me, Phil, did you hunt bear? Well, one day we... Jackson asked me that again. He caught me on that last week. I'm not going to catch me this time. Jackson, ask me that again. Okay, tell me, Phil. Did you hunt grizzly? No, we shaved every day. Harris, the P in your first name may be silent, but the rest of you is dying on mine. Phil's the boy. Hey, no kidding, Jackson. I wish you'd have been with us. Really exciting, especially when you've got good hunting dogs. You shoot down them ducks and the retrievers, bring them right back to you. Oh, the retrievers, eh? Who went on the trip with you? Just me and Remly. You guys are really pals, aren't you? I have to take him. He's one of the retrievers. Remly? Yeah, you ought to see him, Jackson, swimming across the lake with a duck in his mouth. Oh, for a habit. Why doesn't he carry it in his hand? What? And let go of the bottle? That does it, Phil. Goodbye. So long, Marsha. I never saw a guy like Phil. Doesn't worry about a thing. Gee, I was hoping that call was from Daisy. Daisy who, boss? Daisy Dickinson. She's Mr. Osborn's secretary of Baton Barton Derson and Osborn. I got a date with her tomorrow night. She's cute, too. She makes $85 a week. Her take home pay is $63.40. Well, what'll I do now? Maybe I'll read a... Say, Rochester, what's this package here on the table? It came in the mail this morning, bosses, for you. For me? Hmm, I wonder what it is. Gee, it's a little phonograph record. That's funny. I can't understand. Well, I might as well play it and see what it is. Hello, Jack. This is Eddie Cander. Jack, I just want to remind you you're going to be a guest on my program Friday night. You didn't have to send me this record. I knew I was going to be on. So long, Jack. I'll sign off now. This is Eddie Cander, Cander, Cander, Cander, Cander, Cander. Rochester, lift up the arm. The record is stopped. No, it isn't. I made it this way. Cander, Cander, Cander. You're making a record just for that. Say, while I'm relaxing, I might as well put some other records on. Let's see. Here's Brahms Lullaby by Spike Joan. Here's White Christmas sung by Bing. Hmm, the last name is scratched off. I wonder who that is. Here's a new one. Who Put the Microfilm and Mrs. Murphy's Punkin'. Oh, what a beautiful morning by Patrick J. McNulty. Hey, here's one that Dennis Day made with Phil's orchestra. You must have been a beautiful baby. See, that's an old favor to mine. I think I'll play it. Yes, a good number. And Dennis sings it so well too. Phil's music didn't spoil it a bit. Well, what else can I do to a while away the time? I think I'll read a book. I must have been a beautiful baby. I must have been a wonderful child. When I was only... I don't know what to read. When I was only starting to go to kindergarten I really drove the little girls a while. Oh, yes. And when it came... Oh, here's Billy Rose's new book, Wine, Women and Words. Yeah, I read that. It's great. And when it came to winning Blue Ribbons, I really showed the other kids' house. I can see... I don't know whether I'd like to read a mystery or something romantic. I can see the judge's eyes as he handed me the prize. I made... I'll get the door, Rochester. I made the cutest little bow. Oh, I must have been a beautiful baby. But brother, get a load of you now. A little Christmas shopping. Would you like to join me? No, I'm not going to shop until next week. This is my day of relaxation. You know, Mary, a man should begin to take things easy, you know, when he's pushing 40. Pushing 40? He went through it like a Michigan half-back. All right, all right. Come on in for a minute. You can shop later. Okay. You alone? Yeah, Phil called a little while ago. He just got back from a hunting trip up in the High Sierras. The High Sierras, eh? Did he hunt bear? Well, he... Mary, what'd you say? I said, did he hunt bear? No, he took his razor with him. See, you may not be your retriever, but anyone who throws you a lead is a dead duck. What are you talking about? It's over your head, sister. It's over your head. Come on in the den, Mary. I want to get back to that old fireplace again. Don't bother, Jack. I'll answer it. Okay. Hello? Hello, can I please speak to little old Jack Benny? Just a second. I'll call him. Oh, are you his mother? No, are you? Daisy Dickinson, will you please call Mr. Benny for me? Okay. Just a little while. Oh, Jack, it's for you, Daisy Dickinson. Wow. Hello. Hello, sugar. Hello, Daisy. I just called to thank you for the lovely bouquet of flowers you sent me. Oh, did you like them? Oh, yes. Oh, and I just loved what you said on the card. Daisy's for Daisy. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I wrote that without my writers. I saw Daisy's for Daisy. It made me wish my name were Orchid. Oh, but that would sound silly. Daisy's for Orchid, you know? You know, I've been waiting for your call, honey. Well, everything's okay, Farley. Hello, date of our night. Good, good. We'll do something special. You know, we'll have an early dinner, and then I know the most romantic place to park on Wilshire Boulevard. Oh, boy. Wilshire Boulevard, Roman. Have you ever watched the moon come up over the Bank of America? Oh, you little posse of you. Goodbye. Gee, Mary, she's so nice, you know? How'd you meet her, Jack? She's a secretary at my advertising agency, Baton Barton Derson and little old Osborn. Oh, well, Jack, I can't wait any longer. I've got to go shopping. Okay, Mary. See you later. So long. Oh, by the way, Jack, maybe you can help me out. Can Rochester hear us talking? No, he's in the kitchen. Why? Well, I want to know what to get him for Christmas, and it's kind of tough to think of a suitable gift. Yeah, Rochester is a problem at Christmas time. Where can you get him? He's been with me 10 years. He's got nothing. I know. Say, Jack, do you think Rochester would like it if I got him a pair of bedroom slippers? Sure, Mary. Bedroom slippers would be fine. Well, thanks a lot for helping me. I'll be running along now. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Size eight and a half. Rochester! Rochester, I know that wasn't very nice. You know what happens to people who eaves drive? Yeah, they get the right size. I just didn't get the right line. You got the right size. Well, I think I'll go back in the den and read a book. I must have been a beautiful baby. See if there are any books that I haven't read. Here's a good one. The City Boy by Herman Woke. Oh, he's a fellow who used to write for Fred Allen, and then he left Allen and went to war. A coward. Say, I think I'll read that one. Oh, Donald, why can't I? Come in! Oh, hello, Dennis. I came to say goodbye. I'm going to jail. Unless you can straighten out this traffic ticket. Where'd you get a traffic ticket for? I took a four-way cold tablet on a one-way street. Dennis, let me see that ticket. Here. Oh, for heaven's sake. Dennis, you got this ticket for riding your bicycle up the escalator in the May Company. I don't blame them for being mad. Neither do I. I bought it at Bullocks. Look, yet I'm trying to have one day of complete rest so I don't want any more of this silly talk. What'd you come over here for? I thought Phil was here. I wanted to talk over an arrangement with him. Well, he's not here. He called me up a little while ago. He just got back from a hunting trip in the high Sierras. Oh, did he hunt bear? Hey, Dennis. Dennis. Ask me that again. Ask you what? Did he hunt bear? No, he had his clothes on. How can a kid think of such silly things out... Hmm. Hello? Two shows and a head for each one of them. Dennis, how did you get to a phone booth so fast? My bicycle's got a motor on it. Goodbye! I was gonna drive me nuts. One of these days... Oh, now who can that be? Goodbye. I'm tired of trying to figure it out now. I'm going in the den and relax. Fast asleep. I won't wake him. I'll just pick him up and carry him upstairs and put him to bed. The way he snuggles in my arms like a little child. He must have been a beautiful baby. He must have been a wonderful child. When he was only starting he drove the candy garden. I bet he drove the Indians wild. He must have shown the other. Just a moment, but first... Smoker lucky to feel your level best. Smoker lucky to feel your level best. You see, lucky's fine tobacco picks you up when you're low, calms you down when you're tense. It's good to know that fine tobacco can do this for you. And that's why it's so important that you select and smoke the cigarette of fine tobacco, lucky strike. Smoker knows. L.S.M.F.T. L.S.M.F.T. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. No wonder lucky strike is the overwhelming favorite of tobacco experts. For more independent auctioneers, buyers and warehousemen, smoke lucky's regularly than the next two leading brands combined. So, smoke a lucky to feel your level best. Get on the right level, the lucky level, where there's real joy in living, where it's fun to be alive, the lucky level where you feel your best Smoke a lucky to feel your level best. Smoke a lucky to feel your level best. And remember, here's a gift. Every smoker on your Christmas list is sure to appreciate a carton of lucky strike cigarettes in beautiful holiday wrapping. And for that special someone, get Lucky Strike 500, the handsome gift box of 25 packages of Lucky Strike cigarette. I'm sorry I woke you up, boss. That's all right, Rochester. I'll go right back to sleep again. Good night. Good night. Well, yes, my day is just about over. I'll have to make the cutest little bow. Next is Phil and Alice Faye. Dennis Day on Saturday. Be sure to listen there a while. Oh, they must have been such comical babies. Because brother, get a load of them now. They both got two shows. Brother, get a load of them now. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.