 Welcome back. Next of kin is a legal term that refers to the closest living relatives of a person. They are typically the people who are responsible for making decisions about the person's care and estate in the event of their death or incapacitation. Making your spouse your next of kin is a good start to protecting your family but there are other steps that you can take to ensure that your family is protected in the event of death or incapacitation. So tonight we are asking is making your spouse your next of kin enough to protect your family? Please let's hear what you have to say. Remember you can join the conversation. Send us an SMS or WhatsApp too. 08-1-RADA 80384-663. Ladies, I feel like we've had this conversation before. I remember I think it was sometime this year. We've had this conversation on Twitter this year and similar conversation last year where some men were saying that their wives or their wife is in their next of kin. They would rather allocate some of their properties or anything belonging to them to their mother or their extended family and a lot of people had so many things to say. Some of the takes I was seeing I was like hmm please is your spouse not your next of kin? I mean when you get married I believe you become one with the person and it is your sole responsibility to make sure that your family is covered not just your wife or not just your children. It extends to both your wife and your children and then when we talk about next of kin there are different priorities of next of kin. The top priority that is being recognized is your spouse and then your children. So it's either your biological children or adopted children. Then the middle priority your parents and then your siblings. Then the last priority you can talk about maybe an uncle. So typically they like to look at your blood relatives before you even move even move outside of that but I would like to get your take on that. Okay so I think that having next of kin for financial or for banking or insurance reasons is mostly let me say it's more administrative rather than for inheritance purpose. I think it is important that people even understand the rules around next of kin. Yes where there is where there is an interstate like there is no real or anything the law is clear you know they would favor the spouse or whatever but where there is a real what the person who inherits is the designated beneficiary that is clearly stated. We find that some people make their next of kin their children that's minor people who actually can't inherit. So by law well a bank may say that's okay you know what we're going to your next of kin is whoever you put maybe in an emergency that's who they call but does that necessarily guarantee that that's who they're going to give your money to not necessarily. So people need to be clear and people need to ask questions now as to is that enough to protect your spouse it depends on the documents you I mean it depends on what your objectives and what you want to achieve. If you want to achieve financial protection or the protection of your wealth for your spouse and your loved ones then you need to look at the broader picture have a will have a trust that's very important it's not enough for you to say oh a next of kin will take care of because a next of kin anyone can't contest that you understand so if your next of kin is not even definitive enough so people can present and say they bear the same name and all that so I mean whose fault will that be if there is chaos or there is anything so people should look at the broader picture people should stop thinking oh when you talk about next of kin or when you talk about will somebody is wishing you to die no nobody wants you to die but the honest truth is people will die we will all die so it's important to even embrace you know the fact that we will die and start making preparation towards it people can't just bring families or have children and not you know be responsible towards them if you want to be truly responsible now is the time to have the conversation to sit your spouse down but again about what you said I want to look at the flip side of it yeah in an in in a medical situation you have a next of kin with your medical power of attorney now some people don't have the capacity to make decisions when a life is involved if you know that you have a spouse that cannot make that decision why burden them with it why I don't think it's necessary just because you want to fit a setting narrative I would rather have I would rather put down the name of someone that I know can make informed decisions you know when it comes to my health because don't forget I'm incapacitated I can make those decisions for myself so I want someone who is able to listen to what the medical practitioners are saying and able to ask questions to say oh okay if we take this option what happens you but if you take someone that is already agitated they can't function because they're so overwhelmed and I think that's a burden exactly I think that's a burden on them so let's remove sentiments and yes you owe your spouse yes your spouse should be able to make decisions for you when you're incapacitated or but let's look at it holistically not just in parts not just for the financial or the inheritance part of it but holistically to say oh okay in certain situations this is who I want my next of kin or this is who I want making decisions for me in financial matters oh okay this is who you understand and I think it's just tidy that's why that's what I think so um there were two reasons like we had like two uncle stories okay why we even are talking about this in the first place um the lady had tweeted about how had died had died and according to the Islamic rights he was buried the same day probably by by noon and before they knew what was happening they had bought like the biggest padlock to lock the house right so basically kicking the mom and her out of the house and um in that kind of situation this is not the first time I'm hearing something like this right we've had instances where a man dies they tell the family extended family comes over to take everything and the human is left with nothing right and this can also be tied to why life insurance is also very important because when you put when you get life insurance for yourself and your family if anything happens to you even if an extended family decides to move in the opposite direction your family has something to fall back on true right nobody can contest that true for life insurance when you're buying a policy you need to list out the name of your next of kin yeah no family member can go to the insurance company to tell them oh this is not true you will need to prove that right you can't see Jennifer as next of kin and think that you Emmanuel or you Florence can contest it and say oh you're now the next of kin you want to get everything right anything can happen sometimes we can't predict what our family members would do in certain situations right we can only hope for the best and there's one thing that I know I know that money makes people mad people you've lived with for years they could be very conservative very nice to your family and once you are gone that's the end and that's because they don't recognize your wife as part of the family and we see that time and time yeah time and time again and I mean it's very disheartening that things like this are still happening but it is a sole responsibility of the head of the family to take charge of his home right if you feel like yeah I want to accept you don't care so that's fine that's that's understandable and they are like Jala had earlier mentioned it the problem with insurance is illiteracy right not that you're not educated it just means that you don't know anything or you're not educated when it comes to insurance and if you feel that way it's not just you a lot of people around the world don't fully understand what insurance is about and then sometimes when it comes to some certain policies you just richer it's country rates sometimes you need a legal person to explain to you you need an insurance officer to actually explain to you even the fine prints yeah so you know exactly what you're signing up what you're signing up for and I think the insurance companies when it comes to things like this they need to do more education yeah I love that I love that there is education now about insurance people are now talking about it right but there needs to be more push right there needs to be more push the word needs to go out education daily people need to know that they can protect themselves but just on a side note do you even know that you can buy insurance for your gadgets people don't know that right yeah I think I don't know insurance is more popular like insurance true the gadgets insurance that people hear about is warranty it's not the same thing warranty and gadgets insurance two different things now when you get warranty from probably the manufacturer or whoever you buy from they tell you okay one year if anything happens bring it back but after that one year that's the end if anything happens to your phone yeah that's that's it right there is education there's education insurance which I also think that life insurance is not the only thing that you can use to protect your family absolutely you can get education insurance absolutely for your kids absolutely so if anything happens they are covered actually for a period of time well anyway I'm sidetracking no wait for you like you all the talking but yeah um yeah I think the gadgets insurance is pretty much saying like vehicle insurance like when you get a brand new vehicle two years or thereabouts and after a certain mileage you know but um yeah so about the the the life insurance thing I would like to look at this from this angle that um yes there is life insurance but I always want to um I always go back into the trek cheese for the people that are there that cannot afford um life insurance yeah right so for people like that the woman who sells pepper and you can tell her to open in life insurance how because you fund life insurance with money and she barely she can barely send her kids to school or maybe the money is working as a barrel pusher because the thing is the reality of our society is that yes there are people who are within the upper echelon and the middle class like ourselves that can discuss that but how about the man who is a barrel pusher probably has just one couch or one piece of land that is somewhere and he's been hoarding it his entire life and he's like okay if anything happens let me give this to my family so at the end of the day I feel like a good old way giving our society is still to leave a will even if you make your wife your what is it your next of kin it is is still or you make your children next of kin it is still not enough at the end of the day for the average person the easiest way to ensure or to take care of your family or your loved one when your disease is take recognition of your assets or whatever little things that you want even your clothes as little as your clothes you can say okay so when I'm when I'm when I'm dead or if you can't afford a lawyer find a trusted person you know or maybe something as little we're talking in the makeup room something as little as give them access to your bank accounts because next of kin if you have let's say again I'm talking about the people that cannot afford life insurance right so let's say all you have home and abroad is 50 000 in your account it's important that when when so you had that 50 000 in your account and then you pass on the bank will not pay that the next of kin is there but the bank will not pay to your next of kin probably drag you round and round and say oh yeah bring this one bring this one by the end of the day you're probably still not going to get that that that that fund so I was reading up something on Facebook I don't know if you guys are aware of it something payable on death I think all of us need to be sensitized about is that maybe go to the banks and inquire is this how does this happen because if you have if you feel that payable on death form then you're automatically telling them okay when this happens the person this money goes to either my children or my wife or so that way even if for some reason you have a will and they still manage to chase your children away you know that that money in the bank that is bank they cannot come and do customer tradition for banks you understand and also um this is my personal view um I don't have a will yet as much as I'm advising that doing the good old will is the best way to me but I don't have a will because the reality is I'm probably one of those people that like I can't even think of death right now or imagine mobath died at 27 you know I don't know if he has a will uh but given the entire situation that surrounding his family and his wife and his son um it would be weird I would feel weird to tell mobath why did you not have a will because sincerely speaking you know at 27 at 27 your whole life has just started ahead of you so I like the angle I like the angle that you're taking that right um but let's just take a short break and we'll see you shortly if you're just tuned in it's our ladies night out and we are discussing the topic is making your spouse your next of kin enough to protect your family please let's hear what you have to say remember you can join the conversation send us an sms or whatsapp to 081 80384663 our phone line is now open please call us on 07025007749 so yeah you were talking about um you were talking about something right um death I think I'm one person the reality of death I'm not scared of it you know I think there was a time I'm I'm glad you actually talked about what did you call that document again I actually love to look into it because one day I was just sitting down randomly and the thought of death just crossed my mind and I was like huh even if anything happens to me today what's going to happen to all the money that I've saved up all the planned vacations right so when I was thinking about it my head what I was thinking about was ah I know who I usually use as my next of kin but then I was asking is this the person I really want to leave this money um too but I'm even if it's just one person I put as my next of kin if something happens to me is there a way that I can tell the bank or tell the financial institution you know what I want this money to be dispersed to this person this person this person maybe 50 percent to this person 20 percent to this person that kind of thing and it was just an interesting thought at the time and when I was done with the hula baloo and thinking about it I actually just smell and I said huh to the next of kin would be eating good I think we talked about that and we were like listen I don't care who gets I mean I would rather it is someone that I know would appreciate the money right I'm like but I'm like whoever it is I guess so long as the bank doesn't eat that money don't eat money you have no work so I would be rolling the migraine you're like why are you topping my money did you work for it did you send me to school did you buy me breakfast what did you do for me you know you know I I think people should just look beyond everybody's afraid of death yes I mean we don't for cultural reasons even I mean religious reasons a lot of people don't want to talk about it so when you even broach that subject they go like ah please and it's inevitable it's inevitable so just do the needful I mean you would imagine that someone with a special needs um child not making preparation if covid has taught us nothing it has taught us that nobody nobody has been promised tomorrow anything can happen in the blink of an eye you can lose your job you can have an accident the renders you incapacitated you can leak I mean you can just like that you understand so you have to think of your dependence again in Nigeria we're a communal nation we were about family we're about so don't throw your family into chaos yeah because that's that's the that's the bottom line you leave and then your family there there's bitterness there's fighting nobody's happy it's just it's just madness so let's do what we need to do let's plan from today you get into the labour market you start earning it starts and and with insurance life insurance you don't have it's your choice if you wake up today and say I want to do a life insurance plan of a hundred million policy it's your choice it depends that I mean that informs what your premium would be if you say okay let me stay within my boundaries let me do 200 000 if it is 1000 you are able to contribute they will do the calculation for you so you would actually know how much you're supposed to be contributing you know so that's what you will pick pay on premium but to now say oh I don't think I have that money no see the honest truth is nobody has any loose cash anywhere you just make intentional plans towards it especially if you have minors if you have like if you start raising your family leads imagine having your first child at 45 hmm you can't you can't live your life just like that and just think oh I still have 20 years who said who said and then you're still earning don't forget that the higher I mean the the more your age the less your earning capacity yeah so you as long as you're still earning you need to be put yes for some people okay I mean for some people it's not it's not everybody that would be 55 and be at the top yeah leadership in the organization or even have a business to run for most people at 50 55 there are any incapacity reduces why more people are coming up the ladder they have to pay those people you you have almost going out again if you are not financially literate even your pension and you won't even know what you are going to do with it you will just spend it on maybe you're buying medicine because you have one health issue or the other you understand at that time but if you've started doing what you need to do from like your 20s your 30s the strain the burden is not so much so please people let us I mean think tomorrow today and that is by taking actionable steps let's not put our spouses in jeopardy let's not boarding them just because or like a spouse that wants to have a conversation I can't I mean I don't understand why a person will be married and you can't sit your spouse down to say guy sit down let's talk about this if something happens to me or something happens to you what's the next thing these are conversations but you need to have them how can you have a spouse and you don't know where their bank accounts are you don't know what investments they have you don't you need to have these conversations because one day somebody will just wake you up and say sorry I've seen situations where people would people will come upon the debt of a spouse and they'll say well sorry I am somebody bearing the same initials with you I am mrs x y z oh yeah what do you want to say exactly so you can leave things to chance you have to be okay so intentional I have a question because um when we are talking about inheritance well women also become growing up to this place where they're like major income absolutely absolutely so um yes it is true that um um inheritance well as he concerns the man is more discussed because the people on the losing end most times is the woman yeah yeah but now let's talk about um a woman who has you know pretty comfortable and whatnot and then at the time of her disease or demise yeah demise thank you she ends up let's say she has a property with her husband and so the part of the property that belongs there she's like yeah I don't trust you to give this to you so she diverts it to another person instead of the husband that's within her rights if they are co-owners and you see that's where conversation comes in when they are purchasing the property together so what is the name on the title of deed that's very important you need to expressly ensure that the document supporting that asset covers you as a woman as well if your money is in it or whether he bought it for you whatever yeah no I'm saying that like when you're when when getting the property obviously it is mr a and mrs a it doesn't matter whether you're bearing the same son in my the end of the day we have established that it is not one person on this okay okay people yeah but then at the end of the day the woman passes on and now says okay yeah you have one half of this but my own half yeah I choose to give it to somebody else absolutely she's well within her right that is documented yes she's well within her right to do that there's nothing you can there's nothing anybody can do about it if she has designated beneficiaries included in her will and her trust absolutely they cut or knows that but if you don't document it and you're wishing it the other spouse has hundred percent of it simple I think some of the issues that we have right when it comes to marriage is transparency yeah right a lot of people are not transparent and even sometimes I see women who are doing so well in their homes financially right and they also don't put things in place it doesn't make sense to me it doesn't right you have kids again anything can happen right I'm not even saying that your husband might go out and bring in another woman and you're going to have a lot of issues right even if that is not the case worst case scenario best case scenario those are the things I need to think about if it goes really bad how would my children fend for themselves if it goes really good how would they still fend for themselves if anything happens to you today you want to make sure that your kids are being taken care of that they have school fees they have feeding money they have things to take care of themselves at least for a period of time to another guardian either if they are still minor if if so another guardian comes to care for them and even if another guardian comes to care for them there should still be a standing order to say these funds should be used for this so you're going to allocate your funds properly right put them in different channels so that if anything happens so the thing is I know that we are very superstitious right and it seems like we're talking about there nobody who wants to die when they are young right we all want to live and grow old I get it I understand that and I pray that for everyone but it's truly some of these things are inevitable anything can happen and that is what we are preaching about if something happens right in the event that something happens the rest of your family should be taken care of and I know that sometimes people don't allocate these things oh you want to repay the no-soul the truth is if you don't do it the bank will repay the no-soul but the cuts would even make the decisions for you they will take it so your money just gone to a stranger right so for this is what I'm thinking right there was a point you made ahead that I just want to like touch upon it a little bit why some couples refuse to have the difficult conversation and I feel that the reason for that is because of trust and for instance if I have a property and I know that ideally I should discuss this with you know my spouse and maybe I've gotten to place your spouse is the person that knows you in and out they know your strong points they know what you can do and what you cannot do so if I know that if I leave money in your hands you should be the if anything happens to me you should be the guardian of the kids or this and that but if I leave money in your hands I don't trust your ability to manage your money I don't trust that you you you know maybe not get a brand new car or go and buy or do you understand because as much as there are people who as much as they love their children they still end up they just can't control how they spend or their priority absolutely so because of that most people just have that trust issue or maybe they've just tried to walk that ground and walk that ground and they were not able to get to a conclusion and sadly something happens along the way you know so um so I I I get you I get you and I I honestly I honestly agree but again you still have to have kids you have to you have to you have to but yeah I feel like the basic thing is life insurance life insurance yes it is growing up in Nigeria and I feel like more people need to understand it especially people in the rural areas because most of these things mostly affect people most of all these like in the in the in the city we have grown to a place where to a certain extent uh we we uphold the rule the legal rule lord the justice but in the rural areas these are the places where they still have customary laws if you do this one they do this one they end laws they this one they they handle all that you know so I feel like life insurance should still be um they should be edutatified to people in the rural areas but then for every other person generally speaking I think like um uh what's he called living a wheel with a trusted lawyer or whoever that is trusted it I think it's just like the ultimate way yeah okay so and I think this is a conversation that we would probably have to take another time because I mean it's um very needed but I would also want to say that um for next of kin please let us know that next of kin you cannot put your minor children as next of kin you can't nothing can be passed to minor kids in Nigeria according to the law except you attach a guardian to aid so if you have some assets somewhere or some money somewhere and you say transfer the first thing they're gonna ask is how old is this person a seven years old child cannot inherit anything so if you want your seven years old to inherit be very sure that the guardian you are attaching is the guardian of your choosing you understand and you leave standing instructions but if you keep saying I've put my children's name hmm children's name will not save anybody as long I mean they must be adults if they are adults why not I mean you know whatever anything can be transferred to them the law allows it but minor nothing like that and so many people have lost their assets or their money a lot of kids they have their parents have money in banks they can't access it because then there is like trust funds where you can just leave that and maybe just attach this clause that until they get to 18 absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely but that's that's a good thing that's a good thing I hope um people actually really do listen and I want to implore the insurance companies to do a lot more education because I feel like that's one of the things that would help in curbing some of these issues that we're currently having um when we're talking about transparency obviously um Sansi has mentioned that that one of the reasons why people are not transparent is because they don't trust their partners please marry somebody don't worry for the sake of marrying or marrying people who do not have financial literacy um literacy right or you're marrying someone who doesn't know how to manage their funds right when you see things like that they are setting a very bad precedent because by the time you get married it's just going to go down here and if in the course I mean if you trusted the person before marriage and during the course of your being together you lose trust I do have advice for you you must protect yourself regardless right you must protect yourself guys I didn't want to sound I didn't want to sound selfish it's not selfish but you need to you just need to you have to because if your spouse has decided to go left and your plan is to go right yeah protect yourself or you have to whether man whether woman you have to that that responsibility is yours to bear regardless of what anybody says because you see at the end of the day you're the one in that situation yeah and you're the one who will be at the brunt of it emotional mentally anyway it it becomes your cross so why not do the needful anyway thank you ladies thank you Sansi thank you thank you it was great having you on the show so before we go do ensure you follow us on instagram at wayshowafrica you can interact with us for the drop a comment and most importantly follow all our social media engagements and remember to like share comment and invite your friends and family to watch us and follow us we're watching we're taking notes you missed today's notes here it is again life insurance is a gift that we can give to our next of kin it is a way to show them that we care about your financial well-being and that we want to make sure that they are taking care of after we are gone this is by no name anonymous so see you tomorrow at 8 p.m same time same station come prepared all right bye