 Welcome back dear viewers of ImamaSaneTV, we just heard a beautiful recitation from brother Ibrahim with the Juma prayers so I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. So now in this segment we're going to be talking about something a bit different, something more practical, and something that's been more in the news and things that in the community we've been trying to remove stigma and a lot of work has been going on. So in these days we're going to be discussing with a special guest about mental health, about things that affect us as I said, loneliness, things that people around us ourselves could be affected by, and that could be self-harm, suicidal thoughts. So I do hope that in the future, in the weeks ahead, you will be joining us. So to talk about these issues, I'd like to warmly welcome a guest from Canada, sister Barak Hossein, who is a psychotherapist and also a Muslim councillor. So please welcome, salam aleykum sister Barak. Aleykum as-salam. How are you doing today? Come to learn yourself. Thank you, I'm very well, thank you. Thank you for joining us. Looking forward to these topics, so we've got yourself and we've got brother Bilal on the other mornings as well. So in terms of the topics that we'll be discussing in today's is about loneliness. And coming from a community, a very community-based, aren't we? So perhaps people don't often think about those that could be lonely. And how it affects sort of the, so we're going to be starting with topics that are sort of, you know, perhaps we can be quite dismissive and think, oh, what's loneliness? We've got family around us. And there are people in our community that are isolated and it could develop into sort of more serious things. So I really want to delve into, you know, a perspective from an expert about how, you know, how would you describe somebody who's feeling loneliness? Because we all feel that pang in the day sometimes or in a week or a month or a year. But what's something that you'd categorise as something that's, you know, affecting someone's life? Well it has to do with our overall mental health. And it's always good to have an understanding of what mental health is versus mental illness. We all have mental health, just like physical health, right? So it's that balance of everything in our life, whether it's a social aspect, our spiritual, financial, physical. So when it's all in balance, that means you've got good mental health. When you don't take care of your mental health properly, so you're not eating well, sleeping well, exercise or these things are off, it could potentially lead to mental illnesses, which could trigger, could lead to stress, which then could trigger potentially anxiety, depression, loneliness and a series of other challenges. So not necessarily illnesses, like loneliness is not defined as an illness, but it could be a result of poor mental health or poor social connections, could be people who are, for example, I work a lot with international students. So international students who come from abroad, students living in other cities coming to where we are. And so it'd be hard to adjust to connect new social connections, a whole different environment around them. And so they could experience loneliness in that way, right? Everything is new for them. It's hard to make new friends. It could also be you living in your own city. Perhaps you don't have strong ties with families or friends. It's hard for you to make connections with people and you could experience that lack of social connection, which can lead to that lonely feeling. Do you think that loneliness in terms of so we focus on our community? What we can do as a community to sort of, you know, help people that perhaps should they be coming forward and saying, I need help or I would like some, you know, participant activities or is there something that we should be looking out as individuals thinking, oh, you know, I know that X, Y, her families move, her husband's passed away, his wife, you know. Absolutely. And it's about that awareness, right? You know, like you just said, somebody who just had a member of their family pass on or they're new or, you know, something big has happened in their lives. So it's good to offer that social support. And as a community and especially leaders in the community and centres, you want to be able to have that awareness there so that you can reach out, have committees, welcoming committees, have, you know, youth committees, ladies committees, young men committees so that you can draw in people, bring in people. Let's say people come to events, to majales, and then you always see that odd person sitting in the back, not talking, not connecting. It's really important that you reach out and connect to these people, converts, reverts. They experience a lot of loneliness, especially in Ramadan, aid time, because they can't celebrate or participate with family events during these special times, right? So it's really important as a community that we do reach out that way and connect. Now somebody who is experiencing loneliness, let's say they do come in session to see me, they could display symptoms related to depression, sadness, isolation. They could be highly anxious in terms of social anxiety. It makes them very nervous and it causes them a lot of nerve-wracking thoughts to go and talk to people because they're so worried about judgment. They're so worried about what are others going to think of them. So that will prevent them from going to connect with people. They will display physical symptoms of anxiety, so heart racing, palpitations, shaking. How soon, so they're quite, when you think about loneliness, you think okay, because obviously we all sort of experience, like I said in the beginning, but so these kind of symptoms, they're quite, are they things that have prolonged loneliness, of course, or is that something that, I mean, how soon will you see somebody that is saying, well, I don't feel good, I don't feel like getting out of bed, I don't feel like meeting people. It could be either or. Some of the root causes of loneliness could be depression, could be anxiety. I mean, with depression it could be people exhibiting symptoms of lack of care of hygiene, loss of interest in activities that they once were participating in, not doing well in school, not attending classes, not going to work, and just withdrawing from people. That could be the cause of that, or it could be that loneliness causes depression, because when you are lonely you are away from an isolated, so that isolation could lead to that. The flip side is anxiety as well. You could be lonely because of social anxiety. You are afraid of going to connect with people going out, and the social anxiety is quite debilitating. People are afraid of what others are going to think of them, hence they will say they won't go to centres, majales, school, work. It becomes very debilitating that way. Now, in terms of prolonging and how soon, I mean, the sooner people get in to come talk to a therapist because they're experiencing, let's say, sadness, or they're experiencing anxiety or loneliness, then we can try and figure out what is the root cause, figure out some kind of treatment plan to help. So, they've had students come, and especially international students, it becomes really hard for them to engage in a new environment, with a new culture, a new language, and expectations of how to make friends, because it's different in different cultures. So, these students, we try to have mentorship programs, especially international student services. They would have programs for students to go and get to know the city, where you can go shopping. They'll have different social activities for other international students to connect. Most universities would have these types of programs to help students integrate better and connect and build that social connection. Then we start teaching people how to make friends in a different culture. So, this is specific to international students, but in general, the clients I see who experiences is because, let's say, they didn't learn social skills growing up, involved with emotional intelligence, per se. So, learning how, you know, referring to how you feel and how you respond to others' emotions and whatnot. So, that becomes really hard for them to detect, you know, how do I behave? Some clients have autistic tendencies, so that becomes really challenging for them to connect with others, because of social challenges there as well. So, you basically will meet somebody, and then, obviously, case by case, give them that advice. So, it wouldn't be one-size-fits-all. Absolutely not. No, everybody's different. Everybody has their own struggles, and so it really depends on, first of all, where the client is as well. Everyone's got their own pace in terms of where they are in that moment. Some people may not be ready to take on, all right, let's do this plan where you're going to go to a centre where there's an event, where you're going to go introduce yourself or go to the organisers. That can be really challenging for somebody. Yeah, somebody who's experiencing social anxiety, which is why they're lonely, per se. So, we go step by step. I usually start off because I work in a university setting. Well, why don't we take a look at the local Muslim group or another group or society that is of interest to you, perhaps, sports, perhaps, video gaming, perhaps, fashion, perhaps, travel. And so, there you are more likely to meet people who have the same interests, which makes it easier for you to connect to somebody if there's the same interests there. It's such a vast topic, because I was just thinking about introverts and extroverts. Yes. And I often read, I'll see things on social media where they say about introverts and we really don't like to be, it's easier to be an extrovert than an introvert in society because people are all that person keeps to themselves. But that could be their own comfort zone, right? So, that's fine, isn't it, to be an introvert. I mean, introverts can still engage and connect with people. However, how do they draw their energy afterwards is by being alone. Now, there's a difference between being alone and lonely because an introvert will rejuvenate through being alone, through having that alone time to stimulate themselves again. Whereas extroverts need the social drama, social activity per se and interaction, that's where they draw their energy from. So, there's a huge distinction between loneliness and being alone. For example, you could be in a relationship with somebody, in a marriage and it could be very lonely because you don't have any intimacy physical or emotional with this person there's no connection, you don't do things together. Each person's on their phone or watching TV. I've heard a friend saying that to me that you don't understand what it's like to be in a marriage and you're alone in goodness. You're married, there's someone who's always there but sorry I didn't want to interrupt you but it's interesting that it's quite so relevant in our day to day. So, what would you say to somebody who's in that situation? Well, I always say go to couples counselling. Not right away. If that person comes to see me alone then we look at strategies how to build the relationship, how to reconnect. If it was an arranged marriage chances are a little bit more challenging let's say it was a love marriage or you knew this person before but it really depends case by case but we try to work on building things of interest things that you can do together especially from a religious spiritual aspect in terms of doing things together doas, prayers. We've literally out of time I think about 30 seconds but the interesting thing is that I've always wondered that can you solely connect on tick box of doas because there's a social element to us you have to get on as human beings and that is what do you find amusing what do you find interesting and all those things to match up with a person perhaps everything isn't in a spouse then is it our expectation they're part of your journey they may not necessarily be your journey so it all depends how you choose to connect what you can do to work on yourself it is about self development as well like you're saying an introvert would be harder for them but if they want to do it there are certain steps and therapy can also help with that to find the social skills to work and get yourself out of loneliness I see a lot of people who come to therapy to talk to someone because they are lonely for long term type of counselling and that can happen It's so sad because we've been touched about elderly people that are lonely and that's a massive thing and again it's these topics that they never have enough time to justify and again your expertise and I'm sure there's lots of people of different scenarios but if people wanted to get in touch with you just for more information where can they reach you through social media you can try the Muslim counsellor on Instagram and Facebook here in London you have a great resource called the Muslim Youth Helpline they're also accessible on social media and they have counsellors you can talk to who understand the Muslim culture and the variety of cultures subcultures that we do have and you can also provide resources to connect with the people who are struggling with a variety of mental health issues Thank you so much If you know as a female you may feel that you want to connect to it somebody that's amiable and approachable then obviously sister Barat-Pasain is on social media it's the Muslim counsellor so you look her up thank you so much we'll meet you another morning and have a lovely day and dear viewers we are now heading to Dr Yasamadani who's going to be talking about the lungs and its function