 Tantric massage in general, when I teach it, when I facilitate, it's about the experience in the moment with another, it's about being of service. This is what tantric massage is, it's working with the body's sexual energy, arousal energy, all the things that make life exciting, not just in the bedroom, we're working with that kind of energy. So a tantric massage literally invigorates all of the senses, so you can have a full body cleanse, mind, body, spirit, and even if you're not one who goes deeply into the things of the soul, this still offers a very deep mind cleanse. This video is sponsored by Beggucated. It's all in the name, baby. It is the number one resource to learn sexual health and happiness tools to help you level up your love life from the bedroom and beyond from the world's top experts, which means maybe you can't get Brendan to come to your house and teach you how to give an incredible tantric massage. 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Tantric massage in general, when I teach it, when I facilitate, it's about the experience in the moment with another. It's about being of service. This is what tantric massage is. It's working with the body's sexual energy, arousal energy, all the things that make life exciting, not just in the bedroom, we're working with that kind of energy. So a tantric massage literally invigorates all of the senses so you can have a full body cleanse, mind, body, spirit and even if you're not one who goes deeply into the things of the soul, this still offers a very deep mind cleanse. It's for a deep intimate connection. I'm going to start by saying in itself, this allows you to actually get to the bottom of the things that you like within yourself, like where you like to be touched, what you like to feel. This is very important because when you go into a space with somebody else, this is you're going to be clear. You're going to be absolutely clear on what you desire and your desires and when it comes time to be in a space with somebody, you're going to be so totally understanding about your needs and desires and also what the person that you're relating with is needing and wanting and desiring. So there's a few things that you should keep in mind when it comes to setting the stage for a tantric massage. It's not just something that like let's say you only have 20 minutes for and I'm going to do a tantric massage and leave. No. This is something that you actually want to put a lot of heart and soul into when it comes to creating the space. So practical things would be like ambiance. You have to have a very, very safe and comfortable space in order to be a part of a tantric massage. Communication is everything, literally everything. This is not something too that you might, you might not want to just surprise, let's say your partner with a tantric massage. You want to actually, let's say you're going to do this on a Wednesday and your guys are talking about it on a Sunday. This is a, it's a very much a collaborative experience and with anything that's collaborative, you need communication and above all with communication, consent is everything. Even if you've been with your partner for 20 years, 30 years, 5 years, 2 months, it doesn't matter, communication is key and you always have to ask for consent to touch another's body even if you're in a deep intimacy already. And this can also be a thing when it comes to, let's say you're presenting this idea to somebody that you deeply care about. Don't feel bad or don't feel like pushed away if they're like, oh my God, like they're offering me a tantric massage because they think that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing in bed or it's an experience that like I'm not enough. This is not about you not being enough. A tantric massage is not about you being enough. I'm going to say that again. It's not about you being enough. A tantric massage is an opportunity and an invitation for you and your partner to go deeper into intimacy together, is to get to know each other deeper. It's not about you lacking or they're lacking, it's just an opportunity to grow, to grow and love together. Even if you've never done this before, the first thing that I always do, I grab, you can use a non-staining oil or something that's really organic and natural. I like to use natural shea butter from Ghana. This is like my thing. I always bring it back when I go visit the fam. So put the oil in your hand and you're rubbing it, cream, and think about friction creating energy in your hand. You never want to touch somebody with cold hands in this space. You want to actually, you want it to be such a comfortable warming experience so you're not shocking them with cold hands. So I always rub my hands together and in the realms of energy, you can also rub your hands together as well to create heat. So I just do this with my hands. Very important that whoever received you just don't roll over and go to sleep. With all your power, try to stay awake and engage with the giver of this experience. Because remember, even though it was for you and the experience pleasure, you build the intimacy by having a deep connection conversation with the person of what you liked, what you didn't like, how do you feel? It doesn't have to be a long, deep philosophical conversation, but it's very important to engage eye contact, eye gazing, soul gazing with your partner. This literally solidifies the connection that you just had with somebody and it causes for a beautiful experience. The first thing that I'm going to have all of us do in this space is to breathe. Like we have to breathe first together to link up and when you're doing this with yourself or with a partner, you want to breathe deeply into your belly. Like the belly is like the thing that you want to breathe into and what I mean by that is that when we take our slow deep breaths through our nose, we're going to literally see our belly rise away from our body and we're going to exhale to our spine. So it's like three, two, one. All right, Chrizia. So I'm going to begin to touch you. May I touch you? Yes. Thank you. And at any point when this is happening, I'm going to be asking you questions. I'm going to be communicating with you because my ultimate goal is to essentially please you, to essentially give you the best experience possible. So let's say I'm massaging your shoulder and I'm just moving around and let's say there's a spot you would like me to work more on. You just have the confidence and the strength to be able to ask me, hey, I want you to go back to that spot. That spot felt really good just to keep the coherence going between the both of us. This spice ends up anybody's intimate life, it spices up even things with yourself because how often in life do we we're doing something to ourselves and it feels good, but we're just kind of like running through it. This slows us down. So I want you to use your words and also say what you like more of and say what you don't like more of as well. This is a free safe space. So as I mentioned earlier, we can use any kind of organic natural oils. Right now I'm using this delicious ass shea butter from Ghana that I always bring back and this is what I'm going to use to work with. Can I get some tea? Yeah, would you like some? Yeah. I want to know what you're feeling. What? Do you want some too? Yes. Yeah. Actually take that frothy part. So this is actually from eating cacao, the stuff that we drink that I drink, the Boy Scout chocolate. Very enthusiastic about his chocolate. Who isn't though? Right. That's the truth. Beautiful. So with this, you can just take the cream in your hand, just rubbing it, getting it warm. And if you're into energy and the things of souls, this is how people also generate energy in the hand. They rub their palms together. And in this tantric massage, we're not using our fingers so strongly, we're actually going to be using the base of our palms more than anything else and also body. Body finds the rhythm. My rhythm connected with Krizia's rhythm. I said a Krizia. Yeah you did. Oh fuck. Yes. Exactly. My body connected with the rhythm of Krizia's body and that's what this is. So I'm going to come in with touch and a thing too that I like to do when it comes to tantric massages as well, especially when you're working with somebody before you go right in for like the touch, I like to initiate subtle touch before anything. So say like, I'll just come close like here. I'll have my arm, my leg just up against you like that before I even go in because this allows us in a space to connect just with our bodies right in the beginning. So I'm going to first just pull your hair back over here, pull to Shan side and Shan, you're going to work on her left side and I'm going to work on the right side. My very side. Oh, she can put it up. And if you want, Shan, you can also just put your left leg up. Krizia may I also touch you please. Thank you. So we're going to do so. You feel solid. You feel good. You feel strong. Yeah. You feel the athletes that we are, cup it just a tiny bit and you're going to just think about stretching, stretching, sensual and curiosity, curiosity is the biggest thing. So if you're a dude watching this and you want to do this with your partner, think about touching spots that you've never touched before when it comes to being with her like let's say, oh, there's a birthmark right here. Beautiful. What does that feel like rubbing into it? How do you feel? Gently going up her shoulder just a little bit. Think about stimulation because this also works with arousal energy. That's what this is about, a tension massage and arousal energy doesn't mean sex, okay? So now and normally in a setting, if you're with your partner or somebody, they'll if they want clothes, they can have clothes, but it's easier without clothes as well because we can just without rhythm, but for this experience, it's on because you see how the rhythm, the clothes can like disturb the rhythm as well. Of course, the neck is a very delicate place as we all know and when you go into the neck, it's more about stimulating the blood flow from the neck down through the shoulders and I'm going to do it as best as I can in this demo with clothes on. So I have my hands, palms here, on her shoulders and my thumbs are leading the way. My thumbs are like steering. So if you can see from the back, I'm coming in and I'm going out, in, out, in, out. The strong firm hold because also in a part of this tension massage connection is that she feels my touch with the base of my hands. It's really important that she feels that I'm here. So as I'm here, how does that feel, Chrissie? So she feels my touch here. Her heart is also over here. So the energy that flows through the heart is close to my hand. If we were to do it in sequence, would it be, I'm not familiar with the chakras, but would it be starting at the head and flowing down in a particular way or left to right or you freestyle? It's intuitive or freestyle because of the connection between us. It depends if you want to do that because we would start at the crown and go all the way through. But we start with these things before when we set the ambiance, like let's say music, smell, all our senses are being evoked. That's happening in the beginning. You can even do like a little, you have like a sound bowl at your house or you know, you put on that on your, on YouTube or something like that. But you can do like a full-on cleanse with the body, with your partner. I generally like to do it as a freestyle because I want to be of service to what she wants in this moment more than anything else. I'm going to ask you just to breathe a little deeper, Krizia. Yeah. Deep, inhales, deep exhales, the whole time, inhale, see does shine as she inhales, exhale. Watch with my hands when she inhales. So you might have noticed that I am barely in this video and that is because I chose to do this video, as Brennan would say, on the worst possible day because tantric massage is about taking your time, it's about making space and it's about savoring. Things that were impossible for me to do on this particular day because in the morning we had to get an emergency passport for my newborn daughter Ziya and then in the afternoon I had to drive two hours to go speak at the makers conference which meant that I left about 25 minutes. Not my fault. I thought it would be longer but traffic, passport office, et cetera. So I have to give a huge shout to Brennan for giving all of us what we really deserve. Slow, intentional, meaningful connection. Not rushed, not between this and that, just between us, between you and I, between you and Brennan I guess in this case. Yeah, something I'm definitely having to work on, slowing down and savoring. It's difficult given where I'm at in life but it's definitely aspirational and I can see the benefits of it and hopefully you can too and if you want more of that in your life you can go down to the info box and follow Brennan who I worked with on Too Hot to Handle, the Netflix show and I just love collaborating with so you might find similar joy in collaborating with him which he's very collaborative so please go and follow him. Also, in the info box is where you are going to get access to Begukated for Free which is such a no-brainer, like literally no matter where you are on your journey to enjoying your intimate self, Begukated has something for you. For beginners, for intermediates, for experts, for people who are just curious, for no good reason or for people who want to send somebody else a great gift. Don't give them the one day free pass is kind of cheap. What you can do is give them a yearly pass as a gift and they won't know that you got 60% off by doing it. That's pretty magical and you can do that by going down to the info box and clicking using the promo code BOOTY and that's going to get you 60% off your yearly pass with Begukated which breaks down to less than $7 each month to learn so much about your love life and your pleasure potential and I think that that's just beyond worth of it. It could be $700 and it'd be worth it but lucky for us, it's less than 7.