 what's up family welcome welcome welcome back I know y'all haven't seen my face in a while but today we're joined by a special guest and you know I believe in talking to people not talking about people or talking at people so the young lady from the now viral clip the fresh and fit and Nick Fuentes she'll be joining us today so yeah so she doesn't have to talk to just a logo I turned my camera on so obviously I need a haircut stuff but it is what it is we're gonna keep it pushing but the song that you guys just heard it's called Bambule and I wanted to start the stream here for several reasons number one I posted it on the community tab saying that it's a beautiful thing when black men are in harmony when black men are working together I think that's a visual representation of the beauty that we can create the harmony that we can create but also Bambule was inspired by some protests that happened in South Africa some years back resulting in the death of a kid and the protests were about domestic violence but the song kind of is a call for Africans throughout the diaspora at home and abroad to to preserve and remember Africa right as you guys know I'm a pan-Africanist I believe that we're all connected and that's part of the foundation of this conversation for me because like you saw in the case study I posted yesterday I think there are a lot more elements to this than we are acknowledging and I'm hoping by actually having a conversation with this young lady that we can get to the core of what's happening and what this means for us and where we go from here a while back I I talked about how you know in this journey of emotional authenticity sometimes we emote the incorrect emotion right and I think as men in particular a lot of our anger a lot of our rage sometimes is fear and sadness it's misrepresented fear and sadness and I think a lot of black men were angry about the fresh and fit Nick Fuentes situation particularly the picture of this young lady kissing the white supremacist on the cheek kind of like one of my mentors said he said you know men struggle with power you know as far as that's part of our insecurity power and weakness that dynamic and women struggle with shame and it's interesting because whenever men are triggered by women we result to shame and whenever women are triggered by men they result to questioning our power right you got a little dick energy that type of stuff and I think we can kind of walk that back I think we can approach these conversations these important conversations from a different place from a place of authenticity and my number one goal for tonight is to demonstrate that so in the case study from last night and make sure you all watch it if you haven't already but in the case study from last night I talked about how we have an appetite especially on social media for dysfunction we have an appetite for shock and awe you know car crashes and we inadvertently support the things and the people that we claim to hate right and in this case it's Nick Fuentes it's fresh and fit back then it was just pearly things and I talked about how the reality of it is fame and infamy are the same thing these days so whether you are talking or hashtagging these people because you like them and you support them or you're talking about and hashtagging these people because you hate them and you despise them you are supporting them and unfortunately I think as a community we spend more time and energy supporting the things we hate and the things that are working against us versus the things that are for our own good for instance I think you'll find that Cynthia G's audience wouldn't be as large as it is if she wasn't as bombastic as she is if she didn't start talking about aborting black male babies she wouldn't have the audience that she does when she was pro-black people kind of passed her over and this goes for most content creators whether we're talking about Charleston white whether we're talking about fresh and fit in the whole nine unfortunately right now the algorithm aka people's attention rewards you being as colorful and as loud and as obnoxious as you can possibly be and you know demand dictate supply one of the things that is interesting about this whole Nick Fuente situation like I said in the case study he's a 24-year-old kid he knows exactly what he's saying however he's an idiot and I'm not saying he's an idiot because he deserves grace but he deserves to be ignored his entire persona is built on being a social pariah right his entire persona is built on being the guy we love to hate and you know apparently he he and just pearly things were mentioned by the recent Texas mall shooter you know as part of their inspiration so it's serious you know what you say mean stuff and my position is the more we are tuning in to the nonsense the more the nonsense spreads shout out to Stacy yeah I'm Stacy on YouTube he was actually the one who his video kind of inspired me to say okay let me look at this a little bit and he also pointed me towards our guest Instagram which I was then able to reach out to her and she agreed to join us tonight and then also shout out to my brother from South Africa Noble if you have seen the animation he is responsible for that so shout out to him if you haven't seen it again please please please get in the habit of clicking the video tab on the profile well on the channel because YouTube is not promoting our stuff right so you have to whether once a week whether once a day just get in the habit click the video tab you'll see the case study from yesterday you'll see the animation and then you'll see whatever videos that you've missed so yeah do that for me if you're not a member please consider becoming one at any tier or you can bypass that by super chatting but you can bypass that by sending the money to support the channel on cash app and that's because YouTube takes a cut of super chat so if you really want to support what it is that we're doing here and like I always say help keep it sustainable please support through cash app and shout out to William B for the $50 cash app I think he sent this yesterday for so for the time being he will be the stream sponsor for tonight so quick shout out to my brother alright so as a pan African my whole concern and my whole focus is re-establishing that bridge so we can be in community and communication with one another because there is no surviving the white supremacist agenda without that network and I think a beautiful example of that you know I'm Nigerian more specifically I'm Ebo and you know in the 1960s the Ebo part of Nigeria tried to break away from Nigeria because a lot of us were being persecuted a lot of us were being killed so we formed our own country called Biafra here's what's interesting so our guest today is Haitian some people have pointed that out in some of the reaction videos and stuff and I mentioned it during my case study I think she's either full Haitian or half Haitian but Haiti ironically was the only non-African country that acknowledged Biafra as a sovereign nation not only that if you guys know a bit of Haiti's history Haiti was the first independent black nation and especially the first established by former slaves and the first to abolish slavery in the Americas so that's that's a pretty big deal that's unfortunately not touched on in school it's not touched on in our history books it's not touched on in African history it's not touched on in American history and that's why we talk about things like critical race theory and then the clip that I played in the beginning of Dalewanga he's a South African man I think he's specifically Zulu so one of the other nations that I you know acknowledged Biafra as a sovereign nation was South Africa right Haiti did it officially South Africa did it unofficially but if you look into history there are a lot of those pan African connections so this idea that it isn't us versus them but the us and them is within blackness in my opinion is an idiotic idea and I'm hoping that with this conversation in particular we can start modeling to ourselves into the world that we can actually talk to each other and not talk at each other or just about each other hey how you doing all is well how are you so introduce yourself to the audience and then talk about what it's kind of been like these last few days okay well my name is Glody and Narcisse I am Miami Miami Florida native from over town I've lived in Florida all the way up until high school and then I moved here and there I have a son as everybody knows and these last couple of days been really really funky you know I never had this much action I really I really I'm really not a internet person but because I know with what I'm doing with what I want to do as an artist as a creative producer for the projects that I have in mind I have to be on social media and I have to put myself out there and to let people know that I stand for something you get what I'm saying right because I'm black right I went to my neighborhood community center so I got a lot of exposure from that going to college tours and things like that so I know my history I know my background to a certain extent because at some point you just get mad and then you stop um because it's so it's so wicked you get what I'm saying your thought process like to to to think the way that others think of us is just like whoa why right but at this moment like today today is better every time that I get to express myself or tell my part it gets better it's healing in this this is this is this is the healing for me as well it's not just hiding behind words hiding behind pictures you get what I'm saying like I like real deal things so if you don't call me out let's let's let's let's be real about it however um like you said before don't talk at me don't talk at me because you don't get results like that um never it's it's been it's been proven in the school system but anyway so so you know talk to me about you know you know they say hindsight is 20 20 so when you're looking back first of all explain how you even found your way on fresh and fit and then what happened now go ahead what happened so they usually DM so they have somebody DM you right and then you confirm and then the producer has to approve right and once he approved you're in um so like I said this is my third time my second my my first two times were conversations about relationships what what and and what I mean is you know how Myron goes on his rant about women and how he feels about them and his in his perspective so I was ready to come with mine you get what I'm saying I wasn't prepared to talk about to talk about social politics at all so um you get there you get what I'm saying you do all of the things waivers everything um and they take you on the balcony right they show you around you feel me uh you get to do the the thing it's when you think about it the whole thing is just like to set you up right okay so you you see the view because what woman doesn't want to see a view you get what I'm saying drinks right um and then now you get to take a picture so when the the the group picture is before all group pictures are before the the episode so um what happened next the group picture so I see Nick but and I'm and I'm wondering like who is this person but like I said on my life like I wasn't vocal I didn't I didn't say it out loud it was just like me peeping you get what I'm saying because I really don't I really don't know um and I'm an observer I really didn't talk until to to to anybody for real until we got into the space and you get what I'm saying cordial um but I have to figure out who I'm around I don't know we don't know each other we're literally just getting to know each other in this space so um we gather around we taking a picture I'm still wondering like what's up the way they position the girls is to you who's gonna have who got booty who got breasts all of this you get what I'm saying so um I'm noticing the girl in the blue she's doing her life uh people are like scattered around chatting and talking so when we sit down and they position us around the table how they want the audience to see us um mix it down still don't know who Nick is no one introduced Nick no one said hey today today's topic is gonna be they land down ground rules what you what not to do what what what to do you get what I'm saying don't it's almost if it's just like um I'm the man so make sure if you not paying attention if it's treating us like slugs you know like their mindset uh so wait so the the picture with the kiss on the cheek did that happen before or after it was after mm okay we'll get to that keep going yes so still don't know who Nick is we get into it um and we find out who Nick is when he introduces himself and tell us what he social politics politics so we just like okay like that's cool um still don't know what we're gonna be talking about still don't know that Nick is going to be leading this conversation you get what I'm saying Myron and and uh Fresh aren't speaking as much their moderate moderators didn't know that so um when the show started I peep Myron and Fresh you know hi you see what you did see what I did and it's a bunch of black girls around this white guy and we just looking like okay we're gonna get into so we get into it and when we get into it for me looking at my looking back at myself I'm just like damn I I was so unprepared and caught off guard about it it was just like trying to think trying to trying to because I I was it was uncomfortable it was it was painful and I know the key keys and the last but it's like go with the flow we did go with the flow we combed out I and that if that's the words because that that's the word you get what I'm saying so I but at the same time I was just like still pushing back because I know I was because I know I know me and I should have been the but I wasn't because at the same time Nick was saying some things that I had I had no idea what he was talking about things that I we have no research we have nothing we have not we have no leverage in this conversation but what we think we know you know what I'm saying what what from from from what we think we know so I could have done better that's what I'm saying for me I can't speak for everybody around the table but for me I know that I could have done better I could have articulated better I could have I could have gone way better I could have nailed it but I did it and that and that for me for these couple of days has been really like a tussle in a tug of war too because it's just like damn so so talk about yeah talk about the the end word part like because when when I watched it it did look like you were the main instigator so how did we get there oh cut things I don't I don't know if you watched the whole thing or you just watched what somebody sent you or you just watched what you got like a like a clip but when he came out the gate saying that matter of fact Myron was said ask would you date outside your race I said no matter of fact he they asked us what's our name where we from how old how old are we and if you want to be nasty your body count right um so they asked me if I had a black if I had a black man and I said yes I do and it was like well that that negates what his theory was on black women wanting white men and I I just picked up on that so I'm like okay we go around the table they everybody's telling if they got a man or not um and then he busts out the gate with I want white babies and I say I don't like dating outside my race either because I want black babies so to me we agree to disagree we agree on something to me we agree on something because I don't give a I don't give a I don't care that you want white babies that don't that that don't mean anything to me so he went on to talk about IQ so that theory of IQ I couldn't articulate on that because I don't have any information on that I didn't read up on that I didn't do nothing on that so how can I talk about something that I don't know that makes no sense to me so yes I'm going to be quiet I'm going to listen I have to because I I'm unprepared so okay then we kind of shifted a little bit um to I guess light and the low but then it got back into it got into Trump and then we start talking about Trump and then that's how we start talking about Hitler and then that's when they were talking about females uh they they consent like if a if a guy has this type of status or feed a man could grab her pussy or something like that to that extent so we roll and we roll and we roll into he said it was comments it was after a comment after this comment uh somebody asked him about uh black people coming to his his events or or what is his numbers in with with with black people or something something to that nature um and he was like yeah blacks and he kept saying blacks and he kept saying blacks I wasn't the first person to ask him why he was saying blacks but I noticed he kept saying blacks I was like yeah why are you saying blacks you get what I'm saying because I'm I'm listening so he was like yeah because I can I can have another word nobody will believe me I wasn't thinking the word was gonna be nigger because I don't I don't know to the extent of how far he is he could go I don't know I don't really I never watched none of his videos I never until after the the until after the whole photo thing so it's just like yeah my bad but he didn't give me white supremacists because I feel like if if if you were strong white power are you ain't even sitting in the room with black people and if you are you disrespecting them from the gate but that's my my perception you get what I'm saying I'm not privy to this new stuff because I'm not so I'm not socially politically aware and I should be that's on me but like I said that that's another thing for another time but and then we got into the n word and then I was my my allergic reaction was put as cracker because that's what you say that's that that's what you do you jump up and you slap the shit out of this cracker but at the same time I can't jump up and stop the shit out of this cracker I could use my words but I don't even fucking have words so now I got to play it off like I'm what do you do when you're in that in that position people could say whatever they want to say but we were definitely what people said railroaded and caught off guard because that's how I feel at the end of the day smoke when the smoke clears at the table so I mean if you want to veer off to the to the photo we can but at the table I don't know we'll get to we'll get to the photo so one of the things you said that stuck out to me you said from the conversation it didn't strike you that he was a white supremacist because a white supremacist would either not sit in the same room or they would be a lot more you know i'm saying bold and loud in the whole nine so what what is what what does an actual white supremacist look like and how did nick not fit that description in your eyes um shades head blue eyes like skin head like in there with his all his tattoos on like with it I don't know if you ever seen American X but that like that's what I that's what I see as white supremacy when I when I went when I saw that movie because it's it's it's loud it's bold it's out there however that's not me you get what I'm saying so not playing chess in there playing only because I feel like why am I how would how do I why might this take like why even when Maherin put on the hood I I even asked him what is what why why are you doing this like what is your purpose yeah it threw me the whole thing through me it it I was throat but at the end of the day um my my mistakes were not having discernment in that moment not being vocal not saying saying the things that I I need to say in that moment and and letting Nick know that no and and and not having to be all up in in in flames about it but just letting Nick know like no you cannot say that that you you're not allowed to say that you you we have boundaries here I don't I don't I don't I don't agree with your ideologies and you don't you don't you don't agree with mine but however that that's this is why I draw the line if you don't really want what's coming next after that so so that's before yeah before before we because I want to break it down for you so next time if something like this happens you'd be more prepared but um what whether from your perspective or from other women's perspective what is the goal of appearing on a on a channel like Fresh and Fit like what what do you look to get out of it by appearing on their channel well I was ready to come and go back and forth with my ring honestly like I was ready I was my I was mentally prepared to just give it to him in a way of you can have your opinion but you see how you and I are speaking you see how you set up a a safe space for some for someone and I didn't see that show I didn't like I said didn't didn't do my research I didn't I don't watch I'm not a I don't watch it like that I just know what the Reddit was what what it how it set up for for women so I was going to come in there and let them know like that it's messed up how you all come and and this is not a conversation this is this is some bullshit that y'all own because you you set women up to look stupid you set women up to look crazy I don't whatever shade of skin of color they are but this this is that it's like we're plotting behind the scenes and setting this thing up that's that's that's weird to me but but let me let me ask you let me ask you this though um I think some people's hesitation with hearing that is the fact that you had been on there three times right and they're going to have the question of well if you've been on there more than once you have an idea of what it is that they do right they're not interested in blackness they're not interested in progress um Myron's mind is not going to be changed so either there's a sense of like you enjoy the back and forth the sport of arguing or there is something else that you're looking to get from either the exposure or or you know the the leveraging the connects or the context that you make so like what was the thing that kept you coming past just maybe today I'll get Myron like I said for for what I do for what I want to do as an artist um I have to put myself out there and I didn't put myself out there at this point in time on a on a on a platform that I should have I haven't even watched in a year so I didn't I didn't even know that Myron was going to even come out with a sheet like I wasn't ready for him to be racist you get what I'm saying like I wasn't prepared for those things I was prepared for him to try to shut me down with the things that he wrote in his book about how women deserve less like you get what I'm saying like why am I doing this you get what I'm saying it's it's because I need to let people know what I stand for I'm I'm I'm of course so this this is of course it's for it's of course it's for connectivity because every time and time again I met beautiful women I met women who are when you get on the show you they look dumb but they're not dumb like we we have conversations it's it's sociable you it's a it's a social moment so it to me it's not about it's not all about Myron because I know that I'm gonna come in with my position you get what I'm saying so I think I think what's what's difficult about that it's like like I said conversation has turned into a sport and especially the conversation between men and women and particularly the conversation between black men and women so we ignore the things that connect this conversation for instance to the race conversation and that's why despite how Myron talks the way he moves a lot of people would not assume that he also would throw on a KKK mask so so for me I think larger than just preventing you from doing this again my bigger question is how do we prevent so many women being drawn by just the popularity and the clout associated with their platform simply because it's large well for one it starts with self right so my biggest lesson in this and advice would be know where you going you get what I'm saying don't just be going right no no no know know yourself enough to know that I don't belong in this space this space doesn't associate with what I got going on I'm not gonna do that it's like for me I put my hand in the fight I got burned that's on me however my lesson is know know where you're going and not even know where you're going because I knew that's not because I knew but don't attach what I want to do with something that I'm really not about I talked to my coworker today um because he showed me he wrote on a when we have a we have a huddle and he wrote on his his his uh his pad uh I don't I don't remember his name but he's a youtuber uh it's stratosphere men stratosphere I remember that part um had their perspectives of what happened um and but by the end of the conversation uh my coworker told me that if you if you ain't about that don't don't don't don't speak on it um and don't don't put don't associate yourself with it because perspective is everything and if perspective is everything and if I want to I want to present myself a certain way then I have to practice what I preach I have to walk in what I say you get what I'm saying um in this very moment it doesn't it doesn't look like that because I didn't I didn't do that I didn't present I didn't present that so that's what I got out of that conversation um and these in these couple of days they they have been been very reflected on who I am on the inside um and what I want to associate myself with moving forward uh whether people still like me or not uh I still have to move forward and and and knowing that okay so next time like I did this time um I made sure that the next space that I'm in um it's it's it's going to be encouraging it's it's going to be warm it's going to feel safe uh because if it doesn't feel like those things and I don't need to be there because now I'm putting myself in a position to to to to be in that situation that I just was in so talk about the kiss after he said everything that he said after he did everything that he did after you got a taste of kind of who he was what um inspired you to show love in that particular way to him for one in that in that moment I didn't think about it I didn't I didn't think about what that would look like to anybody else I didn't I didn't I just I didn't I didn't think about it I was and to me it was just like oh so oh so you don't like me all right cool cracker like it's you don't you don't you don't you don't offend me but you offend my people like and I know that makes people cringe but I don't follow Nick I don't after this I I looked at a clip and was like all right I'm I'm I'm good like I don't after this me and Nick are not going to have drinks after this me and Nick aren't going to lay down in the bed after this I don't know he's not my bestie like this was just like to be like so what cracker I don't care if you don't like me or not but you still for for and for whatever his motives was to still touch me how about that um and just like me like like women but anyway um yeah so it it wasn't me thinking about what it would look like from the outside okay so I I don't want to preach to you so instead I'm gonna have you no no no I want you to ask me questions right ask me based on um so how do everything that happened okay how do I feel about it yeah like how do you feel about any of like even me responding back like I because I I I hear the accountability like I in in spots you're like okay so you got what you I gotta hold you accountable for this this but you're not doing it in a way that is making me feel attacked you're doing in the way of of love because we look alike I never and and then I'm gonna ask you but I never knew that it was this deep of a division even with the terms being used against me it's just like what um and then a a light bell just went off in my head I hear as a child when you grow up um my family is very family oriented but after a while you know family dispersed and we do our own things but growing up we were very family oriented however my mom side of the family are black Americans she's from South Carolina born and raised you get what I'm saying she moved here to Florida with everybody packed up in the car to South Carolina you know and it was still segregation and when they came to Florida it was still segregation but black and white so blacks it was still it was still family it was still um village you get what I'm saying that's for what I want to say it was still village like so when my dad came to America they had that attraction it pissed my my uncles and my my grandfather it pissed them off I just hear stories so I never knew why until right now it's like oh okay so I'm considered this I'm not considered I I didn't I didn't realize how how deep it goes which is but like yeah how did did I piss you off like let me know because I'm I'm gonna explain it I'm gonna break it down for you um number one I want to say that our I wanted to say our education failed us like the education system failed us but it didn't because it was created to keep us misinformed right and part of that misinformation is us not being able to connect some of those dots as far as like white supremacy as far as the the white psyche as it relates to how they see us and that's why I think a lot of people including yourself in this situation um don't initially see how deep these things are from the n-word situation to the kiss and the whole nine um when I saw it I I I wasn't angry I was disappointed and the reason I was disappointed was when I went to your profile for instance I saw a picture of you with the black power fist up and apparently at some point you had the picture kissing nick and it was such a contradiction and on YouTube for instance um being quote on quote pro black has become a joke right a lot of people including black folks refer to pro blacks as you know hypocrites right hypocrites who don't really know their history they just like the um the character like to play that part of being pro black but they don't actually know what being pro black is and I think again with your fist up and with your presentation and the whole nine it's like a superficial pro blackness but when it's time to demonstrate how number one you actually deeply love yourself and your people and you identify the things that want to cause harm to yourself and your people it was like the substance wasn't there so it I didn't expect you to know who nick fuentes is because most people don't um but during the podcast after he said everything that he said um I expected some kind of light bulb to go off like hold up if this man had it his way my son would be his slave not his golfing buddy if this man had it his way I would be his bend winch not his podcast partner so for the whole night to end with the kiss it starts seeming like your pro black when it's convenient but it's really about clout and it's really about being um viral or being famous and this was kind of an opportunity to and I think that's how some people viewed it give me your thoughts I mean no I mean I can see that that's the conversation uh me and my brother had actually uh and he was just like take it down and I was just like okay because not just because you're my brother but but because I I see you um and you're not yelling at me you're not making me feel ashamed you're not you're just telling me like yo you feel you not not even feel um you you lacked here you like you lack there you lack here um and just do better just whenever you have the opportunity to have a chance to be on a platform just do better next time um but just don't let this make who you are and I appreciated that uh what I what I didn't appreciate is all the all the attacks but the extra stuff yeah yeah the extra stuff is it it gets a little weird because it's just like it's a lot of opinions behind fake pages and yeah that's and and and to be to be fair to you right um you not being aware of some of the more complex aspects of race relations is not necessarily your fault it's your fault if you stay unaware after especially after this conversation but most people if we're being honest with ourselves don't understand the nuances so I'll give you an example um have you ever seen this guy before not until I saw um one of your videos mm-hmm so on on a on a video I was it the video that I was in on was it that one the okay study video yeah so so this guy his name is Jared Taylor and I think what's interesting about him he looks very ordinary he looks like a math teacher he looks like a history teacher some shit but if you can see the book that he's holding in his hand is it's his book it's called white identity um I found out about Jared Taylor um I was watching this uh documented called hate rising and hate rising was uh by Sergio Ramos he's a telomundo reporter and he was going around the country and interviewing like white supremacists he was interviewing um people like skinheads the people who look like white supremacists but also people like this and the interview during the documentary that stuck out to me was his interview because when he was sitting down with Sergio he said that the upward mobility of any subgroup of people is a direct threat to ours meaning that in layman's terms if anybody else does better we suffer as white people right that's what white supremacy is white supremacy is not obvious white supremacy is not um in your face contrary to popular opinion it's covert right um I don't know if you've heard the saying the greatest trick of the devil is convincing us it doesn't exist or he doesn't exist that's white supremacy and the thing that's important I think for you to take away from this is when you study history and even in the uh during the interview nick actually said this he doesn't mind um he's actually attracted to black women slave owners were attracted to black women that's why they rape them so much right however they don't see them as people they see them as property they see them as subservient and on top of that they rely on that way of seeing us in order to fund their institutions in order to maintain their supremacy white people are a minority when you look globally they might be a majority in america but when you look globally they're minority so their idea of supremacy is to keep them themselves on the top and everybody else on the bottom that's important for you to know because like you said in one of your videos because we are a minority in this country we all represent each other so seeing you hugged up buddy buddy encouraging somebody who doesn't think you're human it's gonna hurt it's gonna hurt people and especially if after this you don't take the time to actually learn some of these nuances and make sure that number one you're not simply clout chasing and hopping on everybody's platform because they have a large platform but also that when you speak it means something and it's not just to argue with somebody it's not just to a got you moment because that's what fresh and fit have created they've created a circus right and if you participate in that circus and you might not know even if you don't know you're participating in the circus for all intents and purposes you're also a clown in that circus and as a sister as a black woman i know a lot of people were saying oh she's Haitian no she's a black woman it's like i said our histories are tied and your mom is african-american a descendant of slaves your dad is Haitian it's important that you take the time and i think it'll inform your art as well you take your time to actually understand some of these more complex nuanced pieces of black identity and it's not just a fist in the air or black lives matter or going to marches that's not what it's about it's a whole lot deeper than that i agree definitely i wanted to know what what did you see in me versus other people versus the people that are um saying nasty things to me you know turning my life and all these things like what made you reach out to me like what made you say let me holland what made you say that well number one um i think that you are more consistent with the majority of people right like the majority of unfortunately people who are seeking a certain thing from fame or being famous can find themselves in that type of situation so you every other girl who's appeared on fresh and fit the primary goal there because i i i know you understand in the bottom of your heart there is no convincing myron there is no winning at fresh and fit they make money from bringing y'all on and making a fool out of yourselves that's their platform so i wanted to talk to you because i felt like you represented a lot of women who whether knowingly or unknowingly were willing to mortgage their self-respect for attention and i was hoping that through talking to you maybe the next girl who's thinking about going on fresh and fit to sit there and have them make them look stupid might think twice but also i think it was also a great example of like i said in the beginning how much our education failed us right because the the nicks of the world they've read my comp they they know all the quotes and all the stats that support the way that they think but the regular black person on the street is just trying to survive they don't know all the details right so you just end up being a punching bag for their quote on quote intellectualism and i'm hoping that through talking to you it could inspire you and the other use to take some time energy and effort to actually learn some of those things right so you're not just whether in real life or whether on another podcast you're not just somebody else's punching bag and you're just not positioning yourself to make somebody else look good at your expense because at the end of the day that's what bothered me about the situation they bring people on to look bad so they can make money because they don't care what you think you just represent everything in black women that's wrong with black women and the reason why myron and fresh don't date night writers i think is what they call black women these are not people who care about you these are not people who care about your son these are not people who care about your future and unfortunately i think as as people sometimes we conflate popular with substance and a lot of times just because something is popular does not mean it has substance and i think if we start moving towards the direction of substance and away from popular will stop celebrating car crashes the last reason i wanted to reach out to you is because i wanted to understand and i said this during the case study as black people globally we are a very forgiving and loving people and i think part of the reason why white people will never respect us is the fact that they know despite whatever they do despite whatever they say we will still seek their validation we will still seek their love we will still seek their acceptance we'll still seek their friendship and i thought that kissing picture particularly the fact that it happened after the conversation was such a perfect example of damn what that motherfucker had to say to get you to be like oh this isn't somebody i need to be even taking a picture with let alone kissing an amount on the cheek or some of the other girls twerking on him right so part of it is the drug that is clout and then the other part is education and the lack of education that gets us caught up in these cycles of being exploited for somebody else's entertainment i agree um i'm sorry i was just processing what you said no no part process that's what this is about um but you're right the the conversation that i had with my my brother like i said on my life just made me understand what i'm what i'm representing when i when i go out the same conversation that i had with my brother i had with my co-worker who's also a male um because i need the perspectives of black men because y'all see what we don't um in the sense of leadership so when i come across a black male who a black man when i come across a black man who i feel like can leave me somewhere and not whether whether he's my co-worker whether he's my brother work whether he's my man you get what i'm saying um and and show me a different lens and it it's it right i'm i'm good with that that's why i don't have i don't have much to say about what you said because it is all it is all real it is all true and and now what i do is i go and i i look at myself in the mirror because now there is something highlighted in me that i didn't even think was a part of me so because all of this happened is just like okay i will go and learn i will go and sit i will go in um and do my part so so the next time you see me i i'm ready um so talk talk to us about because you know you explain that your appearance or your constant appearance or fresh and fit was to build your network to build your following for the thing that you ultimately want to do so talk to me about the art like what is it exactly that you actually want to do um so art therapy uh right now i'm working on a project called mania my grandmother she suffered from mental illness so uh and you know that's not really something it's it's it's talked about now but it's not really prevalent we it's not a conversation it's not a it's not something that we just sit down and we talk about around the table eating dinner you get what i'm saying i even if we are sitting around the table eating dinner so um me and my cousin who's a male um okay so me and my cousin um we had a conversation and um we were going back and forth about how each other how we felt or or i brought up something about like how i felt and sometimes i have these high highs and low lows and um just don't know just just all over the place sometimes so he was he broke it down because he's older than me so he let we had grandma in stages so he got grandma when you know she was up and on her feet and things like that and i got my grandma uh when she wasn't as well but she was still anyway so i said that to say um mania is about the maniac it's about it's literally about us um and how we have to operate in mania and chaos every day like we are all maniacs we are all many we are all going through some type of mania so my project is to visually show um what that looks like breaking it down um almost Beyonce's visuals inspired me so it's not a Beyonce visual however it it it is a visual to feel to when you when you don't know what to do you have something everybody doesn't read everybody isn't picking up a book people are listening to things so to see a visual of of just something to make you feel good when you are when you feeling like you're you're about to go to the extreme extreme yeah because i know that we all get to the ledge um and some of us jump and i just i just want to create it i've always wanted to create a space for black people and which is why this is like like you said is contradicting because how but all before before the photo that is who i am it is definitely beyond the fist in the air um but that is just my art the way that i dress is art like i'm i'm i'm i'm a style i i'm a stylist i'm a creator however i'm trying to see i'm i'm trying to see what that looks like for me but right now what i'm what i'm working on is that project um and is there anything you can show us you can you know to kind of demonstrate where you're going so if you go on my instagram it's a short clip and i'm in all white my hair is wrapped um and to me what it expresses freedom and that's the piece in mania it's gonna be called i'm gonna give y'all something it's gonna be called reflective because you have to be able to reflect even in moments like this i have to write that stop so yeah so yeah keep talking so yeah so you have to be able to reflect um even when it looks nasty even when it's sticky even when the world is telling you you're a bad witch cool like you have to be able to go within yourself like like i said there's no real excuse i did it it happened and i should have done it con i didn't matter of fact i did unconsciously it was just like like i said i would i would it was ego it was it was it wasn't me thinking about my community it was me like trying to make him feel some type of way even though even not even realizing he don't even feel no type of way because like you said i am i am his his his ragdoll i am his mammy i am i am i am nothing so to to look back on it and to see that i displayed i displayed myself like that yeah i i deserve what i'm getting however what i don't deserve is threats on my life or saying like my my my son talking about my son and what my parenting is going to be like first of all yes my son does know about the photo i said as soon as y'all went on as soon as the bots or the whomever people that are hiding they they went and and took it there that same day i was like yo okay how am i going to present this to my son so i had to come first off because he is on social media when he gets screen time he is on social media so um yeah i asked him if he knew who he was because you're on the internet more than me like literally my like i said my life is not the internet so because i took i took in a a stupid opportunity right some things some things you just don't do like all money and good money right so um i have to i have to come to my child and and and see how and and see what he had mentally like i'm not a i shouldn't have did what i did and so now it's like i'm not begging but it almost feels like i am fighting for my life because i know that i'm not that person um and i do have a lot of work to do i do have a lot of study in the do uh i i know these things this highlighted that for me and it i'm not taking this as an L for me this is a win for me because now it was a teachable moment you know we got to put it all out on the table ain't nobody harboring anything not for me like i i i i listen the only thing is is the is the pulling up and all of that type of stuff because then it goes to another level now i feel like i have to protect myself against everybody so now it's me against the world and i and yes i put myself in this position to be it be it me against the world but at the same time where is all this camaraderie when we really really really really really really really needed really really needed like come on let me let me ask you this um let's say we knew each other at some point in your life before this right when do you think would have been the best time to grab you and explain to you some aspect of this to prevent this from happening in the first place is it you know the young version of you is it you right before you went on set is it you right before you you got reached out to you by fresh and fit at what point can we prevent another you from having this happen to them in the future there's there's always a moment there's always a red flag you know what i'm saying and if you're not paying attention and and thinking that like if you're if you're constantly like in an ego state of mind you're not going to pay attention to a lot of things so pay attention to what you feel on the inside because the whole time i felt something but then i was like i'm gonna push past this because i'm gonna do this you get what i'm saying like i'm gonna and for some odd reason i'm just like i'm gonna do this going to don't go against what you feel don't go against yourself um whole time it was just like it was it was this thing it was this thing and i didn't i just i moved around it i just was like all right i'm gonna do it because i want to do it you know what i'm saying i i want to do it i want to if i'm gonna be on a platform then let me let me go um and because it was something that i watched i watched i and that was my last episode of watching it and it was when i don't remember the episode but it it was what doing what they do making women look stupid and then um i was like i want to be on the show and because i had i felt like i had something to say you get what i'm saying um but then i was shut down so this time around and it like i said it's been a year this time around it came to me so i'm like all right because i ain't go i was when it got shut down i was like cool like i don't feel like it's not that deep to me so when it came back around to me i was like all right i'll do it like all right i'll do it because it came back around i even was like am i even gonna get past the producer because the last time it was just like oh oh we because i because i the first the first time i got on there was because it was somebody i knew who was casting for the show and they needed somebody and it was like can you do and i was like all right um and i went and then the second time they needed somebody and i went so this time it came to me you know it always from me but like i wanted to go and then i wasn't able to go and then this time it came to me and i was like all right i'm gonna do it um and i did and what i got out of it was knowing the effect that i have and that'd be my problem and it'd be my problem not not realizing the impact that i have your power yeah yeah like i i almost as if like i'm afraid to flex because if i flex then my wings gonna be too because and this is um this is something that me and my my friend she used to say this to me she was like no why you so you afraid to flex like if you if you if you flex your wings you gonna everybody just going he's going but and it but it feels like that like to be afraid of your power like to to to always have to talk yourself into walking into your power because it's just like damn sometimes i just don't feel good about myself sometimes i just don't feel like doing it sometimes i'm i just want to say fuck it all and i don't want to be nobody mom i don't want to be no i don't want i don't want to be i i just want to be but i don't want right now i just don't want to be strong all the time and um i was laxed i was there but i wasn't there because i didn't play the character i was supposed to yeah like it was epically but at the same time i still consider it a win for me because um like i said i get to go back and be like all right go write about it journal about it um i'm i'm i'm i like to write i'm a writer like and that too like and saying who and saying who i am and standing in that it is just like just because i'm 33 that means absolutely nothing i think erica vaudeau said i am a grown woman in a little girl's body i have to you said it to women constantly i don't know did you say women constantly is evolving like and we are and and that's not it and i know people want to say it's an excuse but we are and i have to constantly catch it like i have the constant about okay you know okay great like i have to constantly check myself so when i'm being checked it's just like damn all right i missed that but i can learn from it i can move i will learn from it i will move past it even changing the words that come out of my mouth and how i engage with people so my mind getting wrapped around all all all of what that all of the hate you know what i'm saying it was just like dang okay i messed up but like think think about think about this for me because there there's another version of you somewhere else and she's um there's a version that's older there's a version that's younger what do you think if it went differently when you were younger would have prevented the situation from happening okay so like i said um from the beginning from from the beginning stages of my life where i could come from here where i could see where i know who my mom and daddy who i know who my mom is and i know who my dad is right my dad was there right and people gonna say whoa but yeah because people what i'm anyway my dad was there until i was six and then things happened with adults and it's almost like they broke up my daddy broke up with my mama he also broke up with me so there was there was a father figure however my father figure was a man who provided a lot of material things he couldn't give me any type of real knowledge because to me and even as a child um being a being around my old but being around older people my great group my great aunt my granddad uh my grandma those people uh they were definitely a part of my life because my mom was a single mom at some point and i'm not the oldest i'm the baby i'm a girl i have two older brothers right so my oldest brother is incarcerated for the rest of his life my second oldest brother he got murdered so there's me right so at some point my mom did like this she wrapped herself around me in the sense of she has to protect me at all costs so i did not see men coming in and out she i did not have to go and get her off the corner and you know what i'm saying get her to get no um my mom provided me with the with the shelter in the life that she felt like i needed in in those times right i'm a 90s baby 1990 right so a lot of my life um i did see i was with my brothers and then i i i had a lot of males around uh and they were older than me so i was the baby girl i was protected in some type of way and then at some point all that dispersed so my my brother gets locked up you get what i'm saying and then my second older brother dies and then my brother who is um what we what you call a non-fba um who's completely uh Haitian um who who i'm really very connected to because we are both artists uh because our father uh he's an artist so he leaves he goes and he has to do what he has to do with his life because life is happening so life is happening for everybody and i'm this little girl by myself so at some point i'm alone and i have to learn how to operate alone and i have to learn how to do things alone i am sociable because i go to school and i you know what i'm saying i put myself in at the school program because my mom i was just trying to go into my granddaddy house you know what i'm saying god i'm at this age i'm in middle school and i don't want to be with this old man i don't want to do these old man things you get i didn't i didn't i didn't understand the the importance of having a grandfather because i didn't want to be alone right so i went to the Overtown Youth Center and i was dancing and i was doing all of the things and then at some point um i had to make a decision in my life about what i wanted to be so this is high school a lot of people don't talk about it but you need to be preparing in the ninth grade like if you it's stressful it's a stressful time trying to get being in these long lines not really having the support like you you don't really have the full scope it's just like go to college you get what i'm saying but i did have some some type of support but at the same time it was it was overwhelming it was it was a lot for me so not really knowing that i am who i am right now i want to be an artist i was just trying things because mom i thought that i was supposed to go to school because that's what everybody said i was supposed to be doing so i'm doing that so it's just like you see where i'm going you see where i'm going it sounds it sounds like there was a um like going from having the attention of your dad the attention of your brothers to then being alone it almost seemed like a part of you craved attention and a part of you craved like being seen and maybe that's what led you down this path of trying to find attention whether it came from exposure from fresh and fit whether it comes from like doing crazy stuff like kissing nip for a test on the cheek but a part of you is kind of craving to be seen is is is does that resonate with you at all um just like you said like he's gonna hear me yeah but not seen in that that way because i i also realized that um i think i think i've accepted um the relationship i the relationships i have with my parents i accept where i i am for okay i have to think about that because take your time not that type of attention i the the attention that oh wanting wanting to be seen oh wanting to be seen um and respected as adult artists because like you said it's it's not it's not easy to break the internet with authenticity authenticity yeah thank you thank you thank you so at some point it's just like i don't want to do like i don't i don't want to do this anymore because i know that i'm dope but nobody is accepting that because not even accepting that but overlooking that because you got all these different shapes and images that like i i i i just want to be seen for me like i don't want to be seen for being the the black the the the representation of black people like not like i don't want to be the president i just want to be me it's simple for me like i i don't i don't i want to get the money and have my own and and and and live and live simple like i but in order to do that i have to still engulf myself in all of its new age stuff you get what i sound real but because i'm i'm not born in the internet era it's still things that i have to learn uh i have to still it it's always something you have to learn something you just grow it's it's growth um and that and that's it but i don't i don't i don't want i'm i'm i'm not a hot girl i'm not a this is not a hot girl someone for me the hot girl something for me is making sure my project gets done the the hot girl someone for me is just making sure that the relationship i have with my partner it stays with it is it's it's healthy the the you get what i'm saying it's it's i'm i'm not trying to be this this instagram model or this no i just want to be um i want to get paid off of my gifts and and and what god gave me i i and i know that that i can so and what that looks like doesn't look like the Nicki Minaj and the in the megas i'm i'm i ain't regular but i i'm i'm what they call a natural but to me it's just i'm just me i think you know one of the the consequences of what happened to us is black folks a lot of the things you're seeing like our personalities the fact that we're we're loud we we want to be seen is because for so long we had been hidden whether hidden you know on the plantation whether hidden in our families told to be quiet told to be smaller and i think we kind of rage against that by trying to be so colorful and bright and all that good stuff and sometimes it's to our detriment because sometimes we end up involving ourselves with bullshit just because we're trying to feel that void of being seen right everybody wants to be seen as black folks we've been told for so long that we're less than worth being seen right and and this is why for me it's so important that our people get educated and and understand some of these connections because people are thinking oh this thing that happened is an example of how black women are actually uh their their friends and they're in cohoots with white supremacy and and she loves nick and all that good stuff but there's really so much more going on behind the scenes like you said you were caught off guard you were trying to grow your project and you saw getting some exposure as better than getting no exposure which lets you to fresh and fit to be exploited and my goal is just for this to not happen to another you somewhere else did you have any questions for me anything that i could help clear up or any direction i could point you in and then you know it's an hour and a half i don't want to take it right yeah um i'm sorry but no um no not no i don't really have any questions um i am appreciative of you allowing me to come on your into your space um and letting letting me be able to show who at least show who who who i am um i really appreciate the fact that we have a safe space like this um to actually have conversation um to actually do do you think we resolved anything like do did i read like what did i make things clear um was i clear enough because i i don't want to talk no more like i don't want to talk about this yeah yeah i think um i i don't think it's one of those things that one conversation can solve because i think it's bigger than you i think unfortunately people are using you to project some of their anger like right now you represent and you have to kind of carry that but i i do think number one it was good for our people to see a black man and a black woman talk amicably i think that's we got a plus for that i think number two it was good for black men to see accountability you owned up to your wrongdoing um i think that's powerful especially in these internet spaces uh but number three i think it's it's giving you some homework right um because for me what's most important is that you don't find yourself in this situation again whether because of clout whether because of being unprepared whether because of uh going to a party you weren't really invited to so with those three things i think this was a uh this was a w okay thank you absolutely no thank you thank you for coming on if there's any time that you want to um promote what it is that you're working on instead of having to go to a fresh and fit please just hit me up and uh we'll work something out but i appreciate you so much glow thank you so much alan for having me and um and everybody knows where to find me i don't have twitter i don't i don't i don't have twitter only because when they first started i didn't know what to do with it so i just left it alone um but i do have the new threads thing it's my name everything is my name um and that's about it for me oh yes thank you for creating this space for us um because we need it we we we definitely needed the most um and that's it for me i think that we're done listen thank you so much have a good evening have a good weekend we'll talk as well all right later later maybe it's coming through for you but um i think that was productive um like i said during the live stream we have created and maintained an appetite for bullshit and that's why we continue to see more bullshit um and i think that only goes away when we start consolidating our attention and our support towards productive shit right whether that's me whether that's another youtube content creator but i think this is an opportunity for us to reflect obviously she has to do her own reflection but it's an opportunity for us to reflect on what we might subconsciously unknowingly support right so if you're a black man and you are supporting fresh and fit then you might want to rethink what you're doing if you're a black man and you're constantly clicking on videos talking about how black women are the devils stepchildren you might want to rethink what you're doing or what you're supporting um i think it's also an opportunity for us to educate ourselves on our history educate ourselves on the nuances of this race dynamic that we are caught in as global black folks and more specifically black people in america um i want to appreciate our guest i i could tell she was nervous you know these internet streets it's uh what's more normal is the myron-esque i'm gonna show you how stupid you are but you know that's not what we do here so i appreciate y'all for your support again support what you want to see more of because fame and infamy are the same exact thing these days and uh whether it's somebody you love or somebody you love to hate you're supporting them just the same so thank you for everybody who sent the cash out shout out to elsie um shout out to let me see the hungry millennial welcome uh baba welcome i'm gonna just call you wilson um welcome be mccray welcome i appreciate it nimb keith uh appreciate it um thank y'all so much um before i go y'all have any any questions anything that you wish we touched on any curiosities you know since i don't i don't show my face as much anymore um it's an opportunity let me give it like 15 minutes and then i'll be out but also i've been really obsessed with south african music recently um just like the the song that ended the uh case study yesterday and the song that began this stream i'll play those things more times than i can count just on repeat there's something spiritual about it and i think it also speaks to that internal link that we all have because i'm not south african i'm nigerian but their music speaks to me right um but yeah y'all um we need each other black men need black women black women need black men black people need each other and that's why i call this we need to talk because it all starts with communication the opposition makes its money and it maintains itself based on how terribly we cooperate with one another so um i hope this was an example of uh speaking to people from what you think they can be not necessarily what they are um you can google something called the pig pig million effect apparently if you address people as better than they actually are people who actually care about you and have the capacity to if they're not damaged by some you know mental disorder will try their best to live up to the the light that you see them in so i think we need to shine more of that light on our women shine more of that light on our men and i think we can uh go in a good direction say sharday thank you so much appreciate it yeah man music uh music was beautiful such a great conversation absolutely absolutely i uh i had notes but i to be honest i didn't know what to expect i didn't know what energy she'd be coming with but i wanted to give her the just like my other interviews give her the latitude to show her full and authentic self and then you know slowly peel back the layers d davis appreciate you my brother i saw the um the comments that you had appreciate you so much she says uh would you ever have a conversation with myron if given the chance or it's not productive slash waste of time that is a good ass question um somebody asked me before the channel grew they were like yo if you were invited on fresh and fit would you go at the time i was conflicted because you know what's the saying sometimes you got to play the game to change the game and they have a massive audience and it would be exposure and an opportunity to grow the mission but then um as you become you know as you grow in your content journey you realize that um just like you said all money ain't good money and a good example of this is the lapief network um you know some months ago they started kind of falling apart and you assumed that the people from that network not named Courtney Michelle of course would have been able to sustain their own audiences from the momentum of that but that's not how it works because the audience was tuning in to watch them tap dance a certain way to a certain type of music so they're not going with you somewhere else to hear you play jazz right similarly the fresh and fit audience is not interested in what i'm interested in and ultimately it would just be attention for the sake of attention but it wouldn't move the needle for the cause that um i'm actually passionate about i am a black person who happens to be a man they see themselves as men who happen to be black with a very superficial understanding of their their place in the world um or just you know are uninterested in facing reality or being a part of creating a better world it's about being individualistic and maximizing whatever you see as a good life but i think ultimately they're leading men to doom because even myron after all this still can't pull women by himself he has to coerce them into sleeping with him so these aren't leaders these aren't thought leaders so number one the conversation that i would have there would be shallow at best number two it wouldn't it wouldn't help expand what it is that i'm trying to do and i'm realizing just like she has that um you you you don't belong in every space right and and your voice especially if it's valuable i should not just be shared or your space and your platform shouldn't be shared with everybody so nah they can't do nothing for me i can't do nothing for them so that's not that's not happening but yeah so um matter of fact let me i'm play another one that i've been playing on repeat so we can close this out but again like i said thank y'all oh yeah this one i've been playing this one on repeat so yeah i'm gonna play this one for y'all um this is another south african um it's like a boys choir it's just like a group of friends but yeah i've i've played this more times than i wanted to admit but y'all have a good evening thank y'all so much for tuning in um again stay tuned to the channel click that video tab and see what's new um and i appreciate y'all um hit me up on instagram hit me up in the community tab uh hit me up by email and peace so