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Alcoholics Anonymous | September 26 | DonInLondon | Step 9 "Amends Into Action"

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Published on Sep 26, 2011

September 26 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 9 Amends In Action Alcoholics Anonymous [ Full daily blog link: http://donoddylondon.blogspot.com/ ] Today's AA daily reflection: "how relationships develop with family, friends, community and work..." Part of the promises is that life will take on new meaning and this is true. For the first time in my adult life, resolving my feelings and knowing what they were started the ball rolling towards truthful and loving relationships. I still had times when I really didn't know what my feelings were, because the whole business of feelings was something which had confused me, and made worse by suppressing those feelings I felt were inappropriate. Feelings are not usually inappropriate, it is the thinking and actions we take which can be very inappropriate and based on life experience and distortions brought on by the way society shaped us over the years...

Better relationships all round? As a consequence of the past, some relationships cannot be mended. Damage done to us and to others can make it impossible. The stark truth is there are consequences to our actions from the past. And when other people have been hurt, how they are as a consequence is simply the way it is today. And I've learned my job in recovery is to be open, honest and willing to change. It is not for me to expect anything from past relationships and not to be forgiven just because I am changing. There will be plenty of people, places and things from which I will be excluded because of past actions. I can make amends if opportunity arises providing it does no further harm to all concerned, but this is not a rite of passage to be included in those parts of life again...

Step nine amends help me be more aware of what I can and cannot do on a daily basis. Can do, cannot do, what I like to do and what I don't like to do, the people I like and the people I do not like. Emotional and spiritual living, knowing my feelings in the moment and how they impact on my thinking and actions means my choices are more true to myself and my outlooks. I need not be a people pleaser, I can be a people supporter. I can say yes to what is right for me and those I love, and no to what is not right for me and ask those I love for advice and help in making some of these decisions. Asking for help, being included in fellowship, has taught me a lot about where I might be included in family, with friends and community and work. What works one day, might not work another day and I keep on learning the difference as time and days move along...

Sometimes very hurt people will hurt others, "hurt people, hurt people." Loving people able to love unconditionally can produce the same feelings in others, not an overnight change, a change in understanding loving relationships develop through time. Getting to know people, accepting people as they are and not as we might wish them to be. This is all part of life where there can be much joy and deep sadness and much love and considerable frustration learning every single day. Humility to keep on learning is one of the key ways I keep on track and spiritual principle of forgiveness at all costs for my own actions and the actions of others is an imperative. I might be forgiven but excluded, I might forgive and exclude others. I might be forgiven and included, I might forgive and be included by others. It depends on trust, coping with our feelings in the moment and what is possible and not possible as a human on a daily basis... There is no right or wrong, and we have no right to impose our will on others freedom to choose one day at a time...

Attraction and not promotion... I am attracted to? When someone is promoting an idea? In fellowship what you see is what you get, the best a person can be in that moment, imperfectly perfect, flawed human beings. And we learn what it is to be a human being living life in recovery. I am attracted to people who are learning life with humility, and also I have learned so much from those who are imperfectly perfect, still full of the same old same old, but perceptively changing through time and learning what it is to be open honest and willing to live life on life's terms. The medicine men with their promotions, dogma and snake oil charm are all part of the learning process, if you do this they say, "you'll be a winner!" There are plenty of medicine men around in fellowship promoting, but the majority in fellowship are simply like me with the serenity prayer ingrained, learning serenity by accepting what we cannot change and having the courage what we can and learning the wisdom and the difference one day at a time...

DonInLondon [ Full daily blog link: http://donoddylondon.blogspot.com/ ]
AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aareflectio...
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm...

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