 There are more uses than a Jetsu that is dodging process servers. I will not make any plan that hinges on the medicinal value of dire Wombats. Even if he is lawful evil, the villain isn't going to respond to a jury summons. They don't make civilian models of chain guns. Infravision no longer works like thermographic vision, so I can stop trying to hide from the elf by smearing myself with mud. You can't crankstart a warjack. Tharn aren't allowed to take cooking skills. And if I have the model for her, so Texas can't be disc jockeys? Doesn't matter if he is a son of brag, hey baby is not a Trollkin mating call. Trollkin cannot puff out their chins like frogs. Warjacks do not prefer bacon flavored coal. Cadorian's primary weakness is not temperate weather. I cannot saddlebreak a dire troll, a Kodiak warjack, or the butcher. I can't clear out a dungeon by just throwing a ball down the entrance and telling the nomad warjack to fetch. Just because the nests decided to become a fire sorcerer doesn't mean she hates her parents. One does not just whip up a priestess to leviator. I will not buy skills for weapons that do not exist yet. No more arguing over whether my ogrean looks more like Fabio or Lorenzo Lamas. The ogrean language does not sound like the Ewok victory song. Elves do not squirt ink out their nipples as a defensive mechanism. Elves also do not secrete a foul-tasting oil when threatened. The reason elves live in forests is not to protect them from eagles that swoop down and grab them up. No re-gifting cursed items on Christmas. The DM will notice that the entire party is named after the Houston Texans offensive line. No matter how close to lunch it is, halflings do not have to say versus cannibalism. There will be no more arguing over whether Elwin could have killed Macbeth or Macduff could have killed the Witch King. The following haircuts are forbidden to ogrean. Pompadour, Flock of Seagulls, TV's Frank. The elf punk has more options than are downtime of the discordian practice and torture porn. I will refer to the other player's sidekick by her name and not just your make-believe Chinese lesbian girlfriend. My first priority in the Apocalypse is not finding a monster truck or finishing my Lord Humungous costume. The Apocalypse was probably not caused by grips, mimes, or French maids. Despite Hollywood's claims, not all renegade cops keep many guns under their desks. If my starting Star Wars character is mainly set upon by an escaped rift's character wadding up my character's sheet and throwing it at him is not an appropriate form of surrender. Before resorting to burlesque, we will explore all other options on how to sneak past a security camera. I can't make an acquisition test in the middle of combat to hire away the rival rogue trader's crew. I will not let the GM threat me would do your worst if my character were based on Fade Ratha. If I'm playing a Ravenwing Marine, I have to get off the motorcycle eventually. With the game retcons my character's guide, I will not start the orthodox faith of the old version of the guide. You can't critically hit with a nuclear weapon. Even if the rules allow it, you can't slip an object into a person's pocket if the object is larger than the person. After clearing out the dungeon, I won't animate all the dead orcs and leave behind the copper pieces of the next party won't be totally disappointed. No matter how many points I've put into perform, I can't use my mandolin as my sole method of communication. Wishes have no effect on Arata. I will stop referring to Satixus as two pointers. Satixus don't shed their horns every fall like elk. Satixus aren't related to Konari. There will be no more jokes about the GM's horny bikini wearing pirate chick fetish. When asking if I'm cross-playing, they didn't mean my character was Christ. You can't plead bargain regicide. The cryo-kinetic's default job is not to protect the cooler. Just because the dwarf hits name level doesn't mean we owe him a bar mitzvah. Getting four guys each with a different 25% mythos lore doesn't mean we win Call of Cthulhu. The fur and lust domain shall never meet. No reminding my lieutenant that Niedermeyer can be used as a verb. Getting multiple entries and a game's first Arata is not a badge of honor. And if my Meta-Magician has his twined, enhanced, empowered, maximized magic missile readied doesn't mean I can tell people to make my day. Doesn't matter if we all have different costumes and names. The group of the vetoed it is clear we're all Thor. Using my animal-influencibility to send countless animals on a suicide attack is fine, but not the form of chorus line. Just because my media only put the bare minimum into his journalistic skills doesn't mean he starts at MSNBC. The ability to calculate Thacko on your head does not increase attractiveness. Invoking Andre the Giant only works once to win an argument with a storyteller. Can requisition item nobody in the squad knows how to use? Before starting an underwear clad pillow fight I must first make sure the party is not all dwarves. There will be no further product placement in the mission evaluation videos. To cut down on the number of Mexican standoffs, there is only one commissar allowed in the squad now. The weeping angel's natural enemy is not the goldfish. The answer is never Dwarven Riverdance. No starting a bidding war during character decoration to see who the pet NPC likes best. Can't use a water gun to make the Aslan follow orders. Step one, the party's preparation for the quest is not a mani-pedi. That reduced the difficulty of an autopsy check by skipping the put everything back where you found it step. Even if it's beneficial, no changing the number of limbs on a character without the other player's consent. Better benefits doesn't justify alignment conflict with an organization. If another PC dies, no bonus XP for going through all seven stages of grief before the end of the session. It's best we don't let the Paladin anywhere near customs. Even if calling out characters for critical hits is encouraged, no talking the crit hit monster into naming his character's score. Plant A is not sending the Doom Reaver and wait for the screams to stop. Despite what you think, the profession dentists can't substitute for the interrogation skill. My aware bear can't hibernate through the boring expository part of the beginning. Even if I can justify a viking with a maxed out legal skill, that doesn't give him a law degree. Menace don't practice dental hygiene by having small birds picked their teeth clean. McAllis are not just borg with better PR. Distractive bad guy does not mean with a called shot to his appendix. No hacking in the target megacore to put out a recall notice for their security firearms. Despite his tremendous cost to benefit ratio, bubble wrap is not a staple of black ops. My character in the Anthro RPG is meant to be an anime furry cliche, not an escapee from loony tunes. No matter how many examples I can give, a flamethrower cannot boost morale. The primary use of a druid's nature lore is not to learn the mating calls of various fey creatures. The second book of Gretzky appears nowhere in the Canadian Bible. Can't take energy blasts with infinite range and the ability to shoot through the TV and just channel surf the news. When challenged by a dwarf king, I can't pick basketball. The villain will eventually notice the train tracks are starting to point straight at his front door. Inspired courage is a great superpower, unless you use it to get hordes of innocent bystanders to bum rush to supervillain. No questioning the martial on why a town of 4,000 people with no strategic value warranted a 100 megaton nuke. Lighter control is not an appropriate superhero power. When listing the advantages of elves to the new player, I will leave off shatterproof. Rings of fire resistance offer no protection from rug burn. When the villain is hiding from us, can't just call him on his cell. No animal companions come in a prehistoric version. If I just cast 17 fire spells in the druid's sacred grove and a simple sorry isn't going to cut it. Just because they don't have rules for them, Canadians can still be companions for the doctor. When I take watch, everyone must wake up with the same number of limbs as they went to sleep with. Even if the rules allow it, the spell command summarize can't speed up the plot exposition. The restriction on guns extends to all buildings used for higher education. The commissar will not be pleased if our entire plan is one, asked for a bane blade, two, roll low. Redistraction doesn't mean we're walrus' trained in ballroom dance. We are not stopping the villain with small mammals armed with power tools. My favorite enemy must be more than just Claire. My tech priests will refrain from developing emotional attachments to the ordinance. I will remember that if any samurai sounds like Takeshi Samura, we will all end up sounding like Takeshi Samura. If I have to change my samurai voice, I will pick something that doesn't make him sound like a native of Guadalajara. The DM doesn't want to hear about the pointlessness of framing an Asimar paladin for murder. In the middle of a black ops, the target's elevator music selection is off limits. Deer season is restricted to rifles or bows, not brass knuckles. Despite what the rules imply, multiple held actions do not interfere with the flow of time. Can't spot the paladin hiding in the thieves' gill by looking for the guy breaking out in hives. Multi-classing to a fighter mage thief is fine. A fighter mage thief Reagan Democrat is not. We don't have to consult a neurologist every time someone fails a paralysis save. No casting haste on the fighter while he sleeps to see how long it takes him to notice all of the new gray hair. No using every possible special rule for combat in the very first fight of the campaign. If a conjured monster does exceptionally well in combat, I can't ask him for a resume. The fine trap spell doesn't work on dating websites. Stone of flesh spells are banned in all major art galleries. Anesthetic is not just for sissies. Personal effects are enough to prove we stopped the villain, no more bringing back his zombified corpse. The concept of vows are not alien to dwarves. The first thing you do in Bangkok after clearing customs is not make an alignment check. No asking the elf how they made it to 1,000 years was such a crappy fortitude save. Its thieves can't, not illegalize. Even if we were told to use all of it, can't use the extra explosive for public displays of affection to my girlfriend. The spell is called Dancing Lights, not Detect Epilepsy. An disgusting example of target sizes, there would be no mention of areolas. Cause disease doesn't let you pick the disease caused, so I can stop reading the sentence of Khuru. No abusing homonyms. Just because Orlius doesn't have a shotgun doesn't mean I can declare myself one. Even if it would be awesome in real life, immunity bureaucracy is not acceptable superpower. Christian baleful polymorph is not a real spell. The returning ability of magical weapons doesn't let me make a fortune at pawn shops. Under no circumstances is modern art purchases coming out of the team fund. Though there are many ways to become a god, buying a Gibson Les Paul and maxing out to perform skill isn't one of them. Fantastic in the sheet is not appropriate character focus. Even if the rules allow it, no asking a dread destroyer for favors. Using the crew to best quality underwear in the sector isn't going to increase morale. On second thought, rhythm guitar is an appropriate focus for a bard. Ammunition is not just for closers. No basing our epic powered superhero group in Terror Hot. Even if the rules allow it, no trading in our laser guns for muskets to place sharps rifles in space. No abusing union bylaws to exploit holes in security. Even if I take the total recall trait, I can't remember all quarter million crew on my ship by their first name. Even if I haven't had anything to do for several hours, no updating Facebook in the middle of a black ops. No calling a city councilman to settle an argument about dwarves. When a dwarf goes to the service for the first time, I can't cast levitate on him. Gandalf never had a lavender phase. Covering myself in mud doesn't make me invisible to the elf. In the middle of a black ops, I can't delete the guards we killed from their HR database. I cannot play anything with a blowhole. Even if my character is Welsh, his name has to include vowels. In the middle of a black ops, can't call a lot of long distance phone sex numbers and just leave their phones off the hook. Even if I am allowed to design my own gun, I can't make a 3-4 team magnum pistol. My Qunari cannot join the Church of Giantology. No picking a god-based solely on the number of paid religious holidays they offer. If we're level one, we can't blow up the planet. The Rune Stones do not just say the princess needs to get naked. Even if my character is from Chicago, he still only gets one vote in party matters. I will remember any use of the perform burlesque skill as going to require a full turn for my bard to get dressed again. The ability to blast damage does not help against the fallout of another player's stupidity. When the GM says I can have any weapon classified as archaic, that does it include trebuchets. When in the presence of a god, it's not the best time to bring up the topic of reformation. Can't switch religions in the middle of a game. No auctioning off my faith between the various temples. No converting to religions from other games. The paladin does not have to run a background check on new PCs before they can join the group. Can't pick a religion based solely on the greatest number of sexual positions allowed. I am not trans-elven. Disguising the party as signerins requires more than just buying a whole bunch of goggles. I will not name my character Bab Thacko. If the king says he will reimburse our expenses, no turning the mission into an epic continent spanning quest. Especially if the original mission was to kill all the goblins in this cave. No abusing the thaumaturgy spell by slamming doors in the face of missionaries and venting the clapper are constantly impersonating Brian Blissett. We aren't starting fifth edition by finding El Minster in the shower wondering about fourth edition. Bringing the goblins to justice doesn't mean knocking all of them out and marching them back for a public apology. Our first encounter can't end with me hugging a bugbear and telling him how much I missed him. There is no such thing as a belt of Norwegianification. I am not assigning that 18, I just rolled to my necromancer's charisma. I will remember the basic set is still incomplete and ignore all the under construction signs. Can't only pick two of the following from my character. Dwarf berserker, batter and ram, fireproof, light source. We are not using the Dwarf's back hair to make any of the following. Rope, sweater, quilt, hot air balloon. I will not force the rookie to pick sides in the eternal banded male debate. If the breakup was bad, naming my ex as my ranger's favorite enemy puts out a creepy stalker vibe. And if the rules allow it, my gladiator starting weapons cannot be the trident and bagpipes. And if he is a mysterious entity whose nature is utterly foreign to the fabric reality, Andy Kaufman does not count as a great old one. Even if the rules allow it, I can't have proficiency in every skill by level 6. No casting guards and wards in the houses of people who ignore me. I will stop casting awaken on the other party members' horses. Even if they are half the cost of war horses, can't just buy an elephant for the entire party. My gnome won't drunk-call the Elf Mock 2 that didn't make the cut in the new edition. When asked for typical barbarian settings, I can't suggest Camden NJ. The bond ex-husband cannot be applied to every female character in the party. I will stop assuming I'll drow no drits. It's cute when you train your hamster to attack their eyes. Your weasel, not so much.