 I am Sam Vakni, and I am the author of Malignan Self-Lover, Narcissism Revisited. The Narcissists would tend to display the sadistic aspect of streak in his personality in one of two cases. One, that the very acts of sadism generate narcissistic supply, so that such a narcissist can say, I inflict pain, therefore I am superior or omnipotent. In the other cases, when the victims of the narcissist's sadism are still his only or major sources of narcissistic supply, but they are perceived by him to be intentionally frustrating and withholding. Sadistic acts are the narcissist's way of punishing them for not being docile, obedient, admiring and adoring as he expects them to be in view of his uniqueness, cosmic significance and special entitlement. Narcissists are not full-fledged sadists in the psychosexual sense of the word, they rarely inflict physical torture or sexual torture on their victims, but in all other respects they are full-fledged sadists. Because of the narcissist's lack of empathy and rigid personality, he often inflicts great physical or mental pain on meaningful others in his life, and he enjoys their writhing and suffering. The narcissist is as much an artist of pain as any other type of sadist. The difference between the narcissist and the classical sadist lies in their motivation. The narcissist tortures and abuses as a means of punishing and reasserting superiority, re-establishing omnipotence and grandiosity. The sadist does the same thing for pure, usually sexually-tinged pleasure. But both types, the classic sadist and the classic narcissist, are adept at finding the chinks in people's armors, their vulnerabilities, frailties, fears. Both are ruthless and venomous in the pursuit of their prey. Both are unable to empathize with their victims, self-centered and rigid. The narcissist abuses his victims verbally, mentally or physically, very often in all three ways. He infiltrates her defenses. The narcissist shatters the victim's self-confidence, confuses and confounds her, demeans and debases her. The narcissist invades her territory, abuses her confidence, exhausts her resources, hurts her loved ones, threatens her stability and security, and meshes her in his paranoid state of mind, frightens her out of her wits, withholds love and sex from her, prevents satisfaction, causes frustration, humiliates and insults her privately and in public, points out her shortcomings repeatedly, criticizing her profusely and in a scientific and objective manner. And this is a very partial list of the sadistic tactics of narcissists. Very often, the narcissist's sadistic acts are disguised as an enlightened interest in the welfare of his victim. He plays the psychiatrist to her psychopathology, which is usually totally dream-topped by him. He acts the guru, the avuncular father figure, the teacher, the only true friend, the old experience. These roles, this acting, is intended to weaken the victim's defenses and to lay siege to hurt this disintegrating nurse. The narcissistic variant of sadism is so subtle, so poisonous, so pernicious, that it might well be regarded as the most dangerous of all variants of sadism. It's not overt, it's covert. Luckily, for the victim, the narcissist's attention span is short, and his resources and energy are limited. In constant effort-consuming and attention-diverting pursuit of narcissistic supply, the narcissist lets his victims go. And usually, he does it before the victim has suffered irreversible damage. The victim is unfree to rebuild the life from ruins. It's not an easy undertaking this, but it's far better than the total obliteration which awaits the victims of the true classic sadist. Narcissists are a touch and go. Sadistic narcissist once has written, quote, I find it difficult to accept that I am irredeemably evil, that I ecstatically, almost olgiastically enjoy hurting people, and that I actively seek to inflict pain on others. It runs so contrary to my law-cultivated and tenderly nurtured self-image as a benefactor, sensitive intellectual, and harmless hermit. In truth, my sadism meshes well and synergetically with two other behavior patterns, my relentless pursuit of narcissistic supply, and my self-destructive, self-defeating, and therefore masochistic strength. The process of torturing says the narcissist. Humiliating and offending people provides proof of my omnipotence, nourishes my grandiose fantasies, and buttresses my false self. The sadistic narcissist continues to write, The victims distressed and dismay constitute narcissistic supply of the purest grade. It also alienates them, turns them into hostile witnesses, or even enemies and stalkers. Thus, through the agency of my hapless and helpless victims, I bring upon my head a recurrent torrents of wrath and punishment. This animosity guarantees my unraveling, my failure, outcomes which I avidly seek in order to placate my inner, chastising and castigating voices, what Freud called the sadistic superego. The narcissist concludes, Similarly, I am a fiercely independent person. This is known in psychological jargon as counterdependent. But my independence, my autonomy, is a pathological variant. I want to be free to frustrate myself by inflicting mental havoc on my human environment, including and especially my nearest and dearest. This way I secure and incur their inevitable ire, and I am in my confidence zone. Getting attached to or becoming dependent on someone, in any way, emotionally, financially, hierarchically, politically, religiously or intellectually, means surrendering my ability to indulge my all-consuming urges, to foment, to torment, to feel like God, to be ruined by the consequences of my own evil actions, concludes the narcissist.