 Éu achos, clymau sydd yn gwych yn rhoi iawn i'r cyffredinol. Chyn gwrs, at y pwyllt yn gallu wahanol. Rwy'n rydyn ni i'n gweithio eich ddweud. Rydyn ni i ddim yn rhyddi. Rydyn ni i ei wneud o'r crfeyddiau sydd i'r cyfraith. Rwy'n caeth i yn Katey James. Felly filo chi i'r cyffredin Afcbryd mewn gweithio ac mae'r cyffredin a'r cyffredin ap yr hyn o'r cyffredin cyffredinol. Ac yna'i amser ac mae'r cyfredinol. Felly fe yda'r cyfryd yi. Mae'r rai oeddanid, ond mae'r ar Telangodd yn y gwahodd ym ni i'w ddechrau'r allan gyda'r ysbyt yma, a mae'r rai oeddanid, ac mae'r rai oeddanid, ond mae'r rai oeddanid yn ymellach gyda'r gweithio. Mae'r ysbyt o'r gweithio'r ysbyt yma i'r llai'r erbyn. A'r ydych chi'n gweld i'r yrhaith, sy'n cyflym ychydig yn ei wneud yn ychydig ar gyfer ydych chi'n ei wneud. Mae'r hôl yn y fwrdd hwnnw. Mae'r oed ddelfwyrd yn gwybod o'r gwrs. Mae'r oed yn cyfreithio'r ymddangos i feddwl. Dyma'r ymddangos? Dyma'r ymdindig? Dyma'r ymdindig? Mae'r oed yn ei ffyrdd o'r sechwelltyn mewn hyn. Mae'r oed yn ddelfwyrd. Mae'r oed yn gyfrifiadodd ymddangos i'r gwrs. Mae'r oed yn gwybod o'r gwrs. Mae'r oed yn gyfrifiadd. Mae'r oed yn gyfrifiadd.rio wedi'i fynd yn ymgyrch ar y llaneddiad, fel yw'r seffat, ac rydych chi'n parw ychydig unig. Mae'r athg дрwych yn fuddo, ac yn rwyf adnodd maen nhw'n edrych i'r heddiw, sy'n gallu gwneud yn ysgrifedd yma a yw'r agor siarfa. Mae'r adnodd maen nhw'n ysgrifade'r amser. Felly'r athnom ni wedi ei ei ddweud yn amlygu yn ystafell. Fawr i'n medius, mae y gallu tro am gyhoeddoriaeth yn gweld i gael y ffordd y ffordd a amser oedd y dyma fel awddllawn, mae phos ei dymian gweithio i gael ei wneud. O bobl wedi'u ffordd, ac os ydych yn gweithio. Am fy hyn ygo, mae��게b ar y gwaith yn y rhaniaeth eich ffordd. A fyddwn yn bwysig i gydag i gael y ddechrau ac yn ddad. Mae'r gyfryd yn beth dyma'n bwysig? Dydyn ni eisiau lliwel y gallwn i gael ymlaen. I used to get called names in the playground when I was younger. I was running around with the boys and stuff. People always used to say to me, you're a lesbian, blah blah blah. And I would just get really upset about it because even though I knew deep down that I was, I didn't want to admit it. So I just ran away from it and didn't really talk to anyone or deal with it properly. Sort of spiralled as such. I didn't want to get out of bed. I wouldn't go to school. My parents used to have a battle with me every morning trying to drag me out of my bed. I remember my dad coming in and he'd literally tipped me off my mattress like, come on, you're going to school. And I would just refuse. And I think at the time I didn't really understand what I was sort of feeling. But now looking back on it, I think that was kind of the start of me falling into this depression episode where I just shut down completely. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I hated my parents for trying to make me go to school and put me in a position where I felt so uncomfortable. Even though at the time they had no idea what I was going through mentally because I wouldn't talk about it. So when I was in year 10 and I stopped going to school, my parents eventually got taken to court because my attendance got that bad where I would never go. They kind of took a lot of the brunt of what I was going through. There was a lot of frustration, I think, on their side. There was a period of time where my mum asked my dad to sort of take me in and for me to live there because she was struggling with sort of how difficult I was. Obviously I know she cared, she didn't do it because she was trying to get rid of me. She just didn't know what to do with me. But my parents sort of took a lot of my emotions on and I think now looking back on it, it's probably one of, I wouldn't say regrets, but it's something that I look back on and I really struggle with is what I put my parents through during that time. I just wish that I was a bit more communicated with them with how I was feeling because I think as much as I was lost trying to find who I was I think they were just as lost trying to help me. Dad also got diagnosed with cancer. At the time I thought I think maybe as any girl that age might think going through what they were that it was my fault, like the stress I put him under was the reason he had developed this disease. So again that was another thing that sort of spiled me down and I think at the age of sort of 14, 15 I made friends with probably the wrong people at that time who would buy me alcohol and things like that and that was definitely something that I used as a child to try and cope with all of these emotions. Along with that sort of alcohol abuse I would try and overdose when I was drinking. I got myself in a state a few times where I was completely unresponsive. My parents would have to ring an ambulance and take me to hospital. There was one particular time that I can remember quite well was I was down by Paul Harbour and I had been drinking and I had a bottle of vodka and I was climbing the rocks trying to get to the sea because I think at that point in my life I just didn't want to do it anymore. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to put my parents through what I was putting them through at the time and I think for me that was my way out was how can I end what I'm going through and how can I make life easier for my parents which sounds silly when I say out loud now because obviously that's not going to make my parents life any easier but I just didn't see any other way and yes self-harm as well was something that I used to quite often use as a way to sort of punish myself. I think a couple of times my mum's come in and my arms have just been absolutely covered in blood. I think to the point one time where they had to call an ambulance and rush me into hospital because I'd cut my arms that badly which is part of the reason now why I've sort of got my tattoos and stuff is because I'm not ashamed of my scars but it's also something that I don't want to have to look at all the time and think about because it was such a difficult period in my life that I don't want to be reminded of it. So throughout most of my depression football was a massive part of how I would cope as well. It's probably the one thing in my life that I didn't run away from. I continued to go to training literally get out of bed, go to training, come home and get back in bed that was probably what I would do in a day and not really move much else. I got into playing beat-shocker at that age which gave me some opportunities to sort of travel and experience a bit more of life and I think those kind of things put me in positions where I was learning more about myself. I was lucky enough that I was surrounded by some really good people which beat-shocker was part of that for me bringing those people into my life and I started to talk more about how I was feeling confiding in people around me and also I'd actually engaged in counselling and I think that's something that has really changed my life. I think there's this big stigma around it that going to counselling means you're crazy or you're insane but honestly I see it as a way to check in with myself it's something that I still do now I go to counselling every week I sometimes go into those sessions and I think I don't even know what I'm going to talk about today but there's always something there's always something you can talk about and I think checking in with yourself all the time is so important and just talking through emotions even if you're just saying them out loud I think it's a big step in becoming more self-aware and really understanding what's going on I think talking about how you're feeling is so important I know it's difficult it took me a long time to realise that that was something that was really going to help me on my journey to where I'm at now but I would say for me talking has been the biggest part of me changing my ways and changing my life I think it's quite easy when you're in that position to sit there and think that no one's really going to understand what you're going through and I was in that position when I was younger I didn't think anyone would have any clue what it was that was going on in my brain I thought I was the only one that felt that way and at times now, even 26 years old I think I'm not going to talk about this no one knows what's going on I sound silly but there's so many people out there that are going through the same things having the same struggles and I think talking about those and it becoming more normalised in conversation is a really important step for the stigma surrounding mental health 15, 14, 15 year old girls going to school all on their phones on social media I think it's so easy for you to sit there and look at those videos of all these influences and people who are photoshopped and think why don't I look like that and I think that is a huge part in today's society of younger girls or even boys anyone really just starting to paint this picture of who they should be it's almost scary to think that you can paint this perfect picture of yourself social media can be quite dangerous still something I probably struggle to say now but yeah I'm very proud of myself I think I look at myself sort of 10 years ago and I didn't even think I was going to be alive to be quite honest I didn't know how I was going to ever make it through life I didn't want to make it through life I think for me I didn't really think I was going to sort of see my 20s to just sit here now and say that I've sort of been through the things that I have the experiences I've had with Beat Shocker playing grass football obviously now being at Bournemouth and being surrounded by so many sort of amazing people here as well I've finally got to a point in my life I think when now I'm really settled and I'm really happy with the life that I've got and the people that I've got around me I think it's easy for people to say you need to check in with your friends and stuff like that but I had lots of friends at the time who were checking on me and I would brush it off and say yeah I'm fine I think it's easy to give those standard responses of I'm okay and I think a lot of people do that who are struggling with mental health they almost sort of lead a double life so I think in order for that to change more and more people need to talk about their vulnerabilities and have hard conversations and just normalise that not being okay is okay it's part of life and there's obviously a lot of things that go on in people's brains that may scare them or might be scary to say out loud but I can probably guarantee there's a lot of other people who have had those thoughts and have similar thoughts and I think just having those conversations of those people around you is only going to encourage other people to be vulnerable and hopefully as time goes on talking about it more and more will allow for people to feel like that they can confide and get help and it becomes less of an issue I think