 Whatever representation you see, isn't what you have to be. Good morning, my beautiful internet friends. Welcome back. Today's video is gonna be special in that I think I'm gonna leave it predominantly unedited and I'm just going to talk to you about something that I think is pretty important and is kind of eye-opening to me. It's something that I've not spent a lot of time thinking about in this light before and it kind of hit me as a big realization last night and this morning. So let me start off by saying that I released a video yesterday talking about a trauma scam email that I had received and I made a video about it about how I thought that they were exploiting people who had been through difficult things and how wrong that was but I did not release the name of the company. And I was talking to my husband, Brian, about that last night. And I was like, you know, maybe I should just put it out there so people know who it is so they can check it out for themselves. And I was like, I don't know about the legal repercussions of that and I'm not sure about the personal repercussions of that and like, what would happen? And I was just sort of talking and he stopped me and he was like, you need to remember that you're not just a person anymore that you represent something that you have a fairly significant platform to some extent and you are not just a person anymore. And that kind of hit me because I am just a person anymore, obviously. You know, I just sit on the couch and watch Netflix in the evening like you probably do as well. But this morning I turned on a Peter Coffin video. He's a fantastic YouTube creator. He talks about a lot of different subjects and I watched a whole video about representation. And at the end of this video, he was talking about his own gender identity and why he's never really talked about that publicly because he would then become, to some extent, representation of what that should look like for better or worse. He becomes a figure for it. And I realized, I was kind of curious. I'm not trying to like say that I'm all this or that or anything, but I realized that I am, to some extent, a figure in the amputee community. I am a representation of amputation to a lot of people. I logged out of my account and my computer and everything and Googled amputee in YouTube. And I would say about 50% of the results that came up were my videos were me talking about subjects specifically related to amputation. And while that's amazing and wonderful, I'm super happy to see that and I feel great and accomplished. It's also really sobering in thinking that so many people who are facing amputation who message me every day, I get hundreds of messages from people who are amputees or new amputees or facing this or dealing with something significant or watching my videos and are seeing representation of themselves kind of a mirrored representation of themselves to some extent. And I've never wanted my channel to be that like I'm not trying to be anything other than exactly who I am which is why I don't just show the ups, I show the downs. I think the next video you guys are gonna see is one where I'm having kind of a rough time. But when we think about representation of people who are disabled or chronically ill or in pain or amputees in my case. So that would fall under the category of disability. Usually what we see is inspirational stories and that's great. There's nothing wrong with that on the surface. But I think that that can be a little bit disheartening to a lot of people depending on where you are because so often stories don't go the way that we think that they're supposed to. Surgeries don't go the way we think that they're supposed to, recovery doesn't. And then we see people on YouTube and on the news and in movies and in media overcoming adversity and living a normal life and look at what they can do and look at how well they're doing and they're just normal people. That seems to be a big message and it's like well if they can do it, you can do it. Get off your couch and do something because this person who lost both of his legs is going to the gym. You know I have kind of an issue with that message already. I've talked about that in previous videos but when it comes to any kind of representation, I think it's fiercely important to remember that there actually isn't a standard for you to reach if you are someone who is dealing with an illness, chronic pain, disability. There's a lot of pressure to be a certain way. I've felt that myself for the last year. I don't ever want to play into that but I realize that simply by producing videos and living my life and being who I am, I'm made to some extent because I've talked to so many people, so many of you beautiful, incredible souls out there whose stories have not gone according to plan. There aren't a lot of people representing those stories and I think it's important too but I also think it's really more important than that to remember that whatever representation you see isn't what you have to be. Like you can just be yourself. You can be exactly where you are and also the representation that we see is highly generally edited and it's produced and it's a specific moment in time. I think that's why a lot of people speculate which is so disgusting on how valid illnesses really are, especially with YouTubers because they see them doing stuff and they're like there's no way you could really be chronically ill if you're making videos. Well it's like, because you see people in the moments when they are physically up to it. Everyone has good moments and everyone has bad moments. So I guess what I'm trying to say is I fully recognize that not everyone's stories go according to plan. I've felt this because mine hasn't. You know I've spent a year wondering if I was ever going to be able to walk. I'm starting to walk now and it's incredible but during that interlude there's terror and pressure that you're not gonna be the inspirational amputee that you're supposed to be. At least that's what I felt and please know that I'm still fighting that. I never want to just be an inspirational amputee. I just want to be myself. We're seeing more representation of people who live with disabilities, people who live without limbs, people who are living in chronic pain and with chronic illnesses, with mental health struggles, so on and so forth and that's incredible but also as we see those things, whether that's you watching your favorite creator here on YouTube or on your favorite TV show or in an ad campaign, know that you don't have to be those people either. Just because we're represented by them doesn't mean that that's a standard you have to meet. What I'm trying to say in a nutshell is that wherever you are it's okay. You don't have to live up to any standard. There is no standard to reach for. There is no actual normal. There is no thing that you have to be to be okay to be yourself. I recognize that people are vastly different when it comes to where they are with living with disability or living with mental health struggles or whatever it is and wherever you are just be you and know that that's okay no matter what kind of representation you may see, myself or otherwise. It's okay to be where you are. It's okay to be struggling. It's okay to have a hard time. It's okay to have a fricking amazing time too. I sincerely hope that some of that was sense worthy and I'm gonna end it there. Thanks for listening to me today guys. I love you guys. I am thinking of you and I'll see you in the next video. Bye guys.