 The copy and tv event to convert to knockpender will leave you yeah it's like we do we really do we appreciate that you stay with us all the way from 7 till 10 a.m. and we really really appreciate that you watch us Monday through Friday yay so it's Wednesday I don't know why they call it hump day can someone explain to me a Twitter from Facebook or Twitter channel on Twitter hashtag is why the morning minute to a vow or add color me vow on everything and we have a very very interesting topic for you and please customer don't be offended we're just going to throw facts out here and you're more than welcome to give us your opinion and and please do so on our socials once again and use the hashtag why in the morning so before we begin I'd like my panelists to introduce themselves again how are you very fine previously we just had a very very interesting a conversation with faith we were reacting to a couple of videos so that she's already graced our scene so maybe introduce yourself my name is Aldrin oh my symbol yeah my potilla happy I came at Christmas happy new year and everything this has been a minute yeah how have you been I've been great yeah yeah please we introduce yourself maybe for the people who just joined us and where can we find you in social media and Facebook I have not asked you how to find you how do we find you you can find me at Aldrin oh my yeah every handle that's it yeah very very simple I like my panelists very simple precise and to the point now our topic of the day it was phrased very well to squeezy at the marriage nitri quisana people allowed to have more than one wife or more than one husband and of course the normal thing is the first thing that we think of is polygamy which is a man having more than what more than one wife and but there's polyandry on the other side where a woman is allowed to have more than one husband please tell us what you think about this but as of now we have a couple of things that are going on on our facebook so if it's okay with you guys I want to start with our the viewers quagrand kumendadze 1120 so if we can go to facebook guys remember it's at white five on facebook why two five four channel on twitter is we together is we together so we have one bungay dick sensors always tuned from county 29 chapter non-bookhole hashtag when the morning again augustine kavi if you are good morning how are you watching live and direct out of dinghene kisaw mcqueenie county I see you mama canancy says watching from tika we tell you i see you too brahmel bokeh says even quabibi lia polygamy is allowed yes okay mama canancy says good morning good morning uh abednego elengo maya media okay yes but I want you to imagine it in a marital setting what are the easy situations just live no he says uh uh yes like Solomon did you know okay boy boy major oh he says watching from county 45 bungay dickson was again loving from loving watching from nandi county loving the show all right there we go and on our twitter page we have again a bungay dickson hashtag when the morning watching from chapter non-nandi county uh before going to my job always loving you guys all we love you too man yeah fave says mama kumalizaw kisi lakini si si si what is your video faith faith understands but no guys no but no append at all anyway I tried for facebook what if I fall channel on twitter hashtag is why in the morning so do tell us if you feel like it is okay for a guy to have more than one wife or vice versa where a woman has more than one husband maybe let's start with you simple what do you think talk to me um to me I think if monogamy works for you you should not discourage those who favor polygamy and if polygamy works for you you should not discourage those who believe monogamy works yeah what about polyandry polyandry yes is that's the that's no that's kind of new to african culture that's why maybe it's not that embraced because men are known to multitask when it comes to women but women are not known to multitask so it's kind of new to this culture so it'll take like 10 years for it to be embraced okay okay all right on that thought there's a quote I want to read for you but tell me what you think first faith and why I don't know how I think the wisdom came first and what I can say is that simply because something is on the bible you can't use it as leverage but because at this person had maybe four wives now you're at the result of four wives people trying to like misuse the bible because about Jesus I'll change water into wine so we should just drink you know we should just drink wine yeah you know so we should stop using the bible as leverage yeah what do you think uh first of all I think marriage itself is hard so if it's marriage I just get married to one person you know yes why do you think um okay I want to start with guys where do you think a guy would want to have more than one wife is it affluence like I was I was here like Samia I had gone I said cheating in men is default setting is it okay so a man wanting another wife it's just natural yeah and a woman cheating I'm not a woman so I don't think I don't know how it's done to me me as a woman I'm also saying we uh cheating is having multiple partners is also natural you know if you if you as a man can say it's natural even for us it's natural no I would think that we shouldn't say that it's natural better than you get yes yes if you can't watch the day women women come on the task when it comes to work so you're going to choose for us I thought you're not a woman I'm not a woman yes I'm not a woman but I can talk in terms of marriage and that's where you become the expert maybe selective no no let's and I'm not here to pick a side for that please I'm just here to pour the facts but you have clearly stated cheating in a man is default settings I'm not a man so I don't know so I'll have to take your word for it but again men are different so this is according to one school of thought okay in in the same vein or in the same line women are the ones who are supposed to know how to multitask the most why isn't it the same for men like you can have this one is that not fair according to what you're saying when it comes to multitasking I think women are better somehow because a man can cheat and he can be found cheating but a woman can multitask and not be found yeah so in this particular case in scenario we want to make it that there's no one who's cheating now we have allowed you to have how many however many wives you want and we have also allowed her however many husbands you want is that something that you are willing to embrace that one has to say okay me come on woman I don't eat by the time I'm finished is it also then allowed for her to tell you okay owner I know you proposed and everything but by the time I'm done with you is that okay no it's not okay too why it's not okay because you know in in african culture and maybe all over the world it's so normal for a man to have more than one wife but it's so abnormal because for example you know african culture for example I come from siya if I have a house there's a house for the first wife for the second wife what about the woman what will she do all right so let me read for you something there is a kind of marriage in Nigeria that involves a woman being married to several men but she only lives with one at a time and travels between them so I want you to open your mind a little bit what you what you're seeing is set in stone for this particular country or for Tanzania or Uganda or whatever else that you can imagine I want you to open it a little bit and imagine that somewhere else it's quite normal for saying to have more than one husband is that offensive okay to me it's some offensive but I but I respect it I respect remember as I said if monogamy works for me should respect those who will have polygamy if polygamy works for them it should work they should respect my monogamy yeah that's what I feel but to me it's it doesn't work for me for a woman to for me to be someone's second or third no you see how it looks weird so I assume there's someone else in another country who are na kaiv and afkirea we're going to be more than one wife like when you and I live the way you are finding it very hard to believe now I want to ask you shortly and and just because you have the power just to have more than one husband does not mean you necessarily want it like you said monogamy might work for you polygamy or polyandry might also work for you so there's somewhere in southeast Asia or somebody it says marry every brother so women simultaneously married every brother in a neighboring family and from the oldest son down to the very youngest and this means if maybe the first born is Simba then even that one you will marry when it grows up is that offensive to you as a woman is that does that make feminism null and void yes it does for me because personally you can try out but to angle your side life when you're going to be signed let's say if I had like five husbands to take care of I can't do that I can't although I can multitask I can't satisfy this one then I go and satisfy that one and that one with the time sick you mention thank you now same points and Simba I want you to open up your mind just a little bit so the same same type situation now it's polyandry around the world it's a whole different type of article but it says that this polyandry was exclusive to powerful and influential families only that means dem may be more than one husband they're two or three they're very rich and they're very powerful and influential in the family in the society so the second husband was supposed to enrich the household by providing assistance to the first husband you understand so first husband as a quarchive like I mean sincerely okay so first husband is that and then second husband comes in come assistant again and there were no sexual relations with the second husband should the first husband be around so maybe Amanda Mali in the second husband and in here does that make it easier for you no no it doesn't make it easier for me why not how you know but the concept of having a man having more than one woman is so normal to us for me it's not normal okay that's that's different why is it not normal because how can you share because the man had like society will come accept you know What I can say, in this generation, from if you're born in the 94, up to date, what's contributing to polygamy is that, maybe the first wife, sometimes you know about her, are satisfied. For example, Valentine. They're always afraid, how you're going to judge you, how they'll treat you. For example, Valentine, the man has 500 shillings. Why are you struggling with something you can't afford? Are you trying to have an image? Why are you with a person that you know will not appreciate your 500 shillings? You know, sometimes when you, you know dating is different from marrying. For example, you've just been dating outside there, but when she comes in your house, you start finding new things. For example, you can be dating someone for five years. You marry the sixth year and divorce the seventh year. So it's different. When you come in your house, it's another new level. Say, I'm dating for the social media, my life up on the new one. So are you trying to have 500 shillings? That says more about the process of courtship than the people who are in it. Maybe it wasn't her fault that we'll do it. Maybe we'll raise the right questions. And maybe there's some things about yourself that maybe are not up and down. But I'm talking about a setting where we have agreed that if you come be with me, if we're going to be in a union, there's going to be more than one of you. Yes. Why is it such an issue for a guy to accept? Not to say many, because it's not really to say many. Okay, all the times, in fact, at Asahi, I'm sure there are some cultures that say if a man has more than one wife, that means he's affluent. He is able. He's wealthy. That's why he's acquired two or three. And in fact, I'm quite I'm quite sure there are some tables you can't sit at if you have just one wife, you know? Nicheo is some type of thing. Why is it so hard for you to believe there are parts of the world that a woman is in the exact same position as you. I know, but I'm just curious. What do you inherit from Nicheo? Nicheo, Naniya, and Kufa. So I inherited from my wife. First born, second born, third born. And there are those who are close to me. But why is it so offensive? It's not offensive somehow. What is it? In African culture, since time immemorial. And use it loosely because there are some Africans who allow women to to own in here. You find those kinds of cultures like women marrying more than one man, they're coping it from a different place. It's not western because you might not be able to copy western behavior. For example, Asia. Asia is not in western. Asia, they embrace that culture a lot. And that's why you find most cost women have more than one husband because they have a link with the Asian people. But women marrying more than one husband is not common in those parts of eastern Rift Valley, Nyanza. Is those parts where Nini? Do you agree with her that should a man have more than one wife? Again, please, if Monokomi is the thing, we're just talking facts here. We're not trying to change your life or your opinion. No. If a man has more than one wife, is it possible that they would be jealous and in fact just squeeze a girl at 101. It depends how you approach the situation because if you have a first wife, there are some people who come and tell the wife I respect and I love. But I feel like I need another woman. Those women will accept. That's one approach. The woman will just find out that there's someone. So it depends with how you approach the issue. But for me, I think if you're mature you just approach the wife and tell him. What if Nidini, you know... For example, Muslim? If Nidini is your number one, you just know you might have one. In fact, your number one idea could be number two. Would now that make you change your whole religion? No, not really. Because I feel like before you get into anything you should have a background check. These people, what do they believe in? If the guy tells you where, where to? We marry many women. Ask yourself if you're good with that. If you're not, sing a song. But sing a place where he says ah, I'm touching a woman. That's too cute. That's too cute. If it's okay with my people upstairs, we have a couple of videos that we have asked for your opinion on the matter. And I feel like some of them have been sent in. So remember that Y254 on Facebook, Y254 on Twitter, Y254 on the ground, hashtag is Y in the morning. Please let us know what you think. My name is Avera. My name is Avera. I do not believe in polygamy and as a Christian and it's also against our cultural beliefs as Africans. I do believe that one should have one man or one woman. And for polyandry I still don't think it's right. Because I don't see the need of a woman having two men for herself and one woman who attaches. Yeah. So according to my opinion, I don't think that polygamy is good because even in the Bible, in the Christianity view, you say that he who finds a life finds a group, he who finds us back. We don't say he who finds women. So according to me it's not good at all. So when you marry many wives, these wives will never be at peace with each other and this may lead to many injustices like what we are witnessing today. A woman kills another person so I don't think it's good at all. I support polygamy but I have three sides of it. It actually depends on the man. Maybe the wife can't give birth and maybe another wife so that's the way I can support polygamy. But come on a puja then I don't support polygamy. So I have two sides of the story. Yeah, thank you. My name is Joie Criswa Maita. I do not support polygamy. I think actually what we end up, what we touch is families because we suffer. So I do not support polygamy. As for polyandry, I think come out and support polygamy without the need to have many husbands. And there we have it. Discuss five marks. Pick something and discuss what I can pick for you. Which one would you like? There was a video of you. There's someone on our social media and again I really appreciate your opinion and I'm not trying to hang you out to dry. I'm just trying to compare these two schools of thought. So one school says that it's in the Bible that polygamy is okay. But you have also the same gender. Different guy but same gender. Who has a different school of thought and says the Bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing not women. So I don't know. What do you feel about that? They're using the same book. They're using the same book to justify their different schools of thought. How do you feel about it? Just as I said, the Bible is being misused. Because whatever you want to find, if you want to find something good in the Bible, you're going to find it. If something bad, you're going to find something bad because the Bible is written by different writers who are different thoughts. So if monogamy works for you, respect my polygamy and if it works for me, respect the thought. How do you feel about the lady who said she supports polygamy but only in that, let's say the first wife wasn't able to bear children and that's why now the second one is coming in to help. But now you say, in this woman or this lady from the word go, how can I do it? It's a point like the reason is to accept polygamy because of her condition. So it wasn't a chance from the start. So this situation in a come up where she is barren and she cannot bear kids so she needs someone to help her with. So if this second person comes in, this second person does not share the same zuri kayae. This second person, how can I do it? How can I bear kids? I can as well be your first and only wife. So you cannot control what the other woman or how the other woman will react. I'm feeling this particular situation is very centered on the guy, how he feels. It's not really about how they feel. Plus if you are able to bear kids you can adopt. Actually that was my next question. Is it too western to say that polygamy from the equation, just because now the said first wife cannot have children? Is it too western to imagine that you can adopt or you can have a surrogate or you can have in vitro fertilization? Are these not options for an African man? I'm just asking for your thought. Those are options. Adapting is not western. Adapting has always been there. For example, you find your uncle, the kid is dead. You take the kid and he becomes yours. You just adopt him naturally. So it's not western. And they say polygamy it depends on how you approach the situation with the wife. You can tell her, I can see you can't bear kids. We can adopt. Or I can go and find another woman. It's about talking. When you talk about the situation, it's always hard for the woman. But after some time maybe she'll embrace it. That's that option for communication. I really do. And now in the reverse, should the guy be the one who is sterile and cannot give you children? Is it now okay for you not to decide? We don't even have to get married. Let me just do the thing and then I come. Then we pretend it's yours and live happily ever after. That's the problem. The woman can understand if you sit her down and you tell her mama it's okay. So let's get another person to help us. But if I come and tell you that, will you accept that? In fact, if she accepts it, she won't accept it. In fact, the men don't even accept that they have a problem. The blame will shift to the woman. Is that not too western? Again, I feel like that's a bit too western for us to imagine that we have a problem. How do we approach this? You find your uterus is viable and it's willing, it's functional but me, perhaps, maybe, I don't know what's going on. But you about say something before you finish that. There are some marriages where a man is not able to produce and the woman brings another option and it works. It has worked for many. It's only that the men don't come out to say it because they don't share it with the woman. But the problem is you, you have a wife after some years you find that the kid is not yours. That's why the conscious brother killed himself. Because after some years that's the reason. Because the wife came and told him, you know what, these kids are not yours. That's why you find there are more single mothers and sometimes they don't trust you. That's why you have a routine to check up if you trust them or not. No, let me ask it. Let me not say it. Are we expected, and by we I mean females, are we expected to be more lenient in the thought of let's say he's coming to you saying he loves you. No one is blaming you. But at the end of the day you expect to love and care for all these other three children as if they were your own. Is that something that is a pressure in society? I think it's unfair that a woman can be left. Yet the men that we are dating and marrying these days, they have kids. That's something normal. It's like having a pair of shoes. And they expect us to understand because she's just my baby mama. But when I am the baby mama and I have kids outside it depends how you find about the information. It's not that you guys tell us. If I'm dating you, you don't have a baby. Then the baby comes. After five or seven years. It's not automatic when we're dating. For example, I'm dating someone. After five years the wife gets a kid. Because she doesn't have a kid. But after 15 years, for example, there's an accident. The baby is not yours. That's unfair. When you approach a man, you don't have a baby. You don't have a baby. Who says that you have to lie in order to get something you love? I think therein lies the problem. It's not even about polygamy or polyandry. I think it's the courtship that's the problem. You convince her to marry you. She will always be waiting for money to come. Now you're a normal lifestyle. Now she wants to run away. You are there shining. You have to have a baby. You have to love her. You want to flex with her. Now it's going to happen. Maybe we should just tell the truth before we get into marriage. It's not where the actual problem is. Maybe if we checked before we got married if we are viable to have kids. There are ways you can get tested to see if you can have children. The song about Nairobi is out of the soul. The lyrics are just 100. In this generation, if you meet a girl and we just open to her, you won't get a girl. But if you treat her like a dustbin, it will look like a dustbin. That's the reality. The same way... I'll expect you to say something. The same way I did not go to that school that said all men are dogs. I just look at you and say you have your own thoughts. The same way you are very sure all men are not the same. Why are you putting us on one line? I'm not putting all men on one line, but I'm just using the majority. That's the reality. The beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. However, if you work with them, they satisfy you. But if you work with them, the beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. But the reality is that they are beautiful girls. The majority of girls are not the same. They just want to be pampered. But if you open to them, I do these kind of things. Talk to me. Why? He has answered himself. He said that there is a woman who has a future. Why are you wasting your time looking for a wife going for a slave queen who is all about good good stuff? Why can't you settle down with this girl when you are not working? You are not going to be a slave queen. You cannot be a slave queen. You are not going to be a slave queen. If you don't have a job, you can't afford it. It is all about the standards. You are not getting a job. finish with this vein and then you conclude in your own words. I would like to think that to say me, I'm too, I don't know if I can understand that. And I don't think anyone should be shamed for what they want. Come and try to take a light skin. Don't, not necessarily for you to bleach yourself, baby. There's someone who likes your melanin. Are we together? Yes. Come and try to find a plus size, a dim dog. Like there's always someone who wants something that you have. But that's the way we come at them. If you try to find money, now you'll be called a gold digger. And I'm not going to shame you for wanting what you want. But I also think that you should step up your game. OK? So if you're going to say, Are you taking steps also to be financially stable? Are you taking these steps for yourself? Is that something that you're doing? You can take it or just conclude the way you want. I would like to say about women, which I've understood. I've understood that there are three types of women who need a date. Some of them want a date at the top of the level. Some of them want to go up. And some of them want to go down. And some of them want to go down. So what's the name of that guy? Between the three? There's a girl. Come on, come on, pause. Yeah, let me ask you a question. What's the name of that type of guy? Mr. Kujibu Oswali. No, she's allowed to be pregnant. She's allowed to be pregnant. Yes, she's Mr. Kujibu Oswali. But what I can tell you is love is a choice. So you choose yours. Like if your type is light, if you love them short, if you love them, you know? If you want a kind-hearted person, you go for that. Leave these other ones. Who can do it? And Senje, if you have agreed, if he has come out and told you he does not have money, who's saying there's so many of them who want to go out and go to Dubai and you start stressing somebody's son, don't do it. It's not fair. You can see he's supporting his family or he's doing what he needs to do and now you want to be there, make him feel bad. No, we will not allow. And the same way, uncle, I will not let you shame Senje for wanting what she wants. All in all, please, before you jump into these things like marriage, monogamy, polygamy, polyandry, whatever you want. In fact, it's just sonogamy, so something where you marry yourself. Before you jump into these things, please, courtship, know your person, know the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. Know what to happen if you don't have children. Can you even have children together? Get tested. Like, please, please, please, please. Find out if he has children. Find out if she has children. Just know each other. Communicate, please. Don't just jump, jump and then come complain to us. Oh, all men are dogs. Oh, Siji, all children are what? We are tired. We want to make money this 2021. Thanks. You have been watching Why In The Morning. Do you want to conclude any further or can we wrap this up? What I can say about just as I started, if monogamy works for you, respect those who believe polygamy works for them. And if polygamy works for you, respect the monogamy's idea. That's what I can say. Sorry? Me, what I can say is that the reason as to why people don't get satisfied, it's because they look at you and they're like, I like Val because of her hair. So the day that Val will lose her hair, there's nothing more to like. So when entering into a marriage or relationship, enter as a whole being. You're not dependent on someone to rise you or to take you to a certain level. Enter as you. You know, tomorrow you'll be fine. And if you do that, let us know why you should get married to 50 people or 60 people. Thank you for watching. I'm going to go to the kitchen and eat. I'm going to go to the kitchen and eat. Thank you. Oh my gosh, I might just exceed my time. Sorry, I'll write it on Facebook, write it on Twitter, write it on Twitter, on the grammar hashtag. Over days, wine the money. Thank you again for letting me host you through this. Now tomorrow is our thing's hip hop. And the day after is social Friday. So please, please don't you miss a day, seven all the way through 10. My name is Valentine. And we insist that you have a fantastic day.