 The radio theater brings you Lana Turner and John Hodiak in Honky Tongue. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. William Keely. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. If you refer to the American Fasaurus of Slang, you will find that the title Honky Tongue means, among other things, a lawless frontier town. But in tonight's story, you get more than the tale of a lawless frontier town. You get a saga of the growing West, a story of strong wills and a strong love. Starting from Metro-Golden Mayor Studios, two players you've often requested. Lana Turner and John Hodiak. If you've ever visited the western ghost town, a relic of the days when fate depended on a roll of dice, you will have been impressed, as I was, by the inconveniences and deprivations they endured. In the Bonanza days, a bolt of calico, delivered across the high seers to Virginia City, cost from 70 to 90 dollars. While a cake of laundry soaked to wash it with, cost upwards of two dollars and a half. It's time for our curtain and act one of Honky Tongue, starring Lana Turner as Elizabeth and John Hodiak as Candy Johnson. Nevada in the late 1880s, a crowded train bound for the Goldfields, has paused momentarily to take on water and fuel. Now, as it gathers speed, two men dash down the track, followed by a mob of irate citizens. With agility reflecting years of practice, the men leap aboard the observation car, bow politely to their pursuers, and enter the train. That was awful close, Candy. Yeah. I can still smell them torn feathers. Here, have a piece of candy. You and that bag of peppermint. Stop complaining, we're still alive, ain't we? I'm getting awful sick of being run out of town, just for a little crooked card playing. Me too, Sniper. You want to know something? I'm going to find me a town of my own. I'm going to be the gent who says go at stage. Just watch me. Candy, you ain't turning on us. I'm turning smart. Don't you ever want to do anything better and play come on for the suckers? Uh, speaking of suckers, look, huh, end of the car. Poker, that's your speed. Couldn't be persuading. No, I got some thinking to do. Got any idea where this train's going? Uh, Yellow Creek, probably. That gold strike's still going strong there. Yellow Creek, huh? Sounds appealing, Sniper. Yeah. So does the rattle of them poker chips up there. I'll find me a seat in the next car. See you later. Oh, I, uh, thank you for your pardon, miss. You dropped your handkerchief. Oh. Mmm, smells kind of good for such an old trick. You think I dropped it on purpose? Of course not, honey. Well, that's the last thing you'd do. The last thing I'd do is speak to a strange man. Oh, no, no, don't overdo it, honey. Overdo what? The wide-eyed business. Now, let's see. You come from a little town in Vermont, Ohio. Or, uh, maybe New Jersey? Massachusetts. Boston, Massachusetts. And your father's a schoolteacher, poor but honest. My father happens to be a judge, and he's very honest. An honest judge was everyone who wasn't. But, uh, somehow or other, the poor little daughter is thrown out of the cold world. And where does she go? Why to the Golden West, of course. But she needs about $10 to pay for a ticket. Mm-hmm, you're very discerning. And it just happens I've got a $10 bill for you, honey. It just happens I could use it. Oh, Mrs. Morgan. Mrs. Morgan. Yes, miss. Here's another donation for the Salvation Army. Oh, bless you, miss. Oh, don't thank me. It's that, uh, gentleman there. Oh, bless you, sir. Oh, well, that's quite all right. I hope you're satisfied. Honey, that was right cute. You know, there's just one point you left out of your pretty little story about me. They always warn young ladies about men who have clean hands. Huh? Clean hands. In a country where every honest man works. Now, get out of here before I call a conductor. Well, I'll be done. Papa. Oh, Papa, darling, I hardly even knew you had been so long. Been so long, my dear. Well, now tell me all about Boston and your trip. Howdy. Uh, are you speaking to me? You remember me, Candy Johnson? I'm afraid I don't, sir. Sure you do. How'd you leave Dodd City? Now see here, young man. Oh, don't be angry, Papa. Just another clumsy attempt by Mr., uh, Johnson to get acquainted. This is my father, Judge Cotton. Did you say Judge Cotton? An honest judge. Well, like I said, was there ever one who wasn't? Uh, I'm sorry, Judge. Guess I made a mistake. Come along, Elizabeth. Oh, uh, where could a stranger get a good steak around here? The placer saloon has the best beef in town. Thank you, Judge. Elizabeth, that fellow, did he bother you, dear? No, Papa, not half as much as I bothered him. This is the place you recommended, sniper, the placer saloon. Candy, look. Huh? The suckers in this joint are thicker and flies out of Butcher and Bay. Take it easy. Yes, sir. The more I look around, the more I think that maybe this is the town. What town? The town I ain't going to get run out of. If that's the case, they'll put up a monument. Gold dust. If it ain't the Candy Man. Peppermint? Haven't changed a bit, have you? Give me a kiss and find out. Oh, don't ever change, Candy. You working here? Why not? You interested in taking out a clean, Candy? Sure, but it's got nothing to do with digging. Gold dust. Oh, hello, Brazo. The table's cool enough. Got the work. Yeah, boss? Yeah. What's that badge he's got pinned on? He's also the law around here. Sheriff. Oh. Well, make yourself at home, Candy Man. Same as before, Judge. Another bourbon? Just leave the bottle. Say, you haven't seen a newcomer around here who... Looks like me? Oh, Candy. How are you? I trust that little farce at the depot didn't disturb you. Of course I recognize you. Of course you did. My boy, I'm going to put you next to a good thing. Well, that's the place I like to be. I, uh... I worked up a nice little rig here, Candy. Justice of the peace. Pillar of respectability. Collect fines right and left. How would you like to cut in on it? Why are you so ready to share a good thing like that? Yeah. Yeah. Man's a fool to try and con you, Candy. You're out on a limb, huh? There's a group of nosy citizens here who want to know where the money is gone that I've collected in fines. That sounds like time for you to flag your shirt tail out of town. Uh, it's past time. That girl at the depot, my daughter, she insisted on joining me here. I, I can't go. I'm licked. How much do you need? About a thousand dollars. Have you got it, Candy? No, but I will have. Well, you get it. Never mind. Hey, Sniper. I tell you, there's no resuscitation. Call me, Candy. Look, you never saw me before on a stand. Just stand by and keep the flies off the back. Five, two, many. Uh, seems to me if a customer's worried about the scarcity of aces, Mr. Brazos, the only thing the house can do is spread the deck for him. Easy, son. Easy. He's talking for a lot of us. Oh, no. Why do you want to pull a gun on me, Mr. Brazos? Because that's the best way to handle troublemakers. I don't want any trouble. Come here. See this cigar? Or I'd like me. I said like me. I couldn't do that. That takes too many hands. I keep mine where they can do the most good. I can't even start using them. Hey, mister, shot the gun right out his hand. All right, everybody. I don't know this dude here, but I'm going to see that this remains a private fight. So simmer down. Thanks, stranger, but it ain't a private fight. I'm talking for every man who comes in here for a sociable game of cards. Mr. Brazos, I'm going to borrow that other gun you're wearing. I ought to shoot you with it, but I'm going to let you do it yourself. We're going to play a little game called What's the rules? There are six shells in your gun. I'm throwing five of them on the floor. The remaining cartridge I put back into one of the empty chambers and I spin the cylinder. Now, gentlemen, let the hammer fall where it may. What are you talking about? May fire the first time the trigger is pulled. It may fire the last. You don't know and I don't know. But we're going to find out the exciting way. Now, here's your gun. Aim it at your head and pull the trigger. You're crazy, Brazos. All gamblers are crazy. Out of six, that's as good a bet as a gambler ever had. Aim it at my head and shoot. Yeah. I go first, eh? All right. I will. Your turn, mister. Would you mind my asking why you're doing this? Because I believe in giving everybody better than the square roll. All right, I'll try. Your turn again, Brazos. The odds are getting short. You've got three chances out of four now. I'll make it two out of three now. For you. That's right, two out of three. Maybe you're lucky tonight, Brazos. Let's see, huh? No, we've both pulled blank so far. It's an even money bet now. There's just two chances left. And you go first. Wait. Wait a minute. Take the gun. Take it. Okay. But I'm not aiming at myself this time, mister. I'm aiming at you. I wouldn't do that. I'm aiming at citizens waving a rope. That's the best deal you've got to offer? No. No, you can throw in your hand if you want to. Only it'll cost you $5,000 to do it. You crazy? It's up to you. Either we see our game through or $5,000 to quit. Blackie. Who's Blackie? Cashier. Hey, boss, give it to me. $5,000. I'll take that, Blackie. Thanks. Oh, uh, let me have that gun, Brazos. I'm curious to see what would have happened with Blackie. Mind if I aim at your chandelier? Go ahead. Thanks. Just goes to show you. Think of the money you could have saved, Brazos. Come on, Chad. Candy boy, you're wonderful. Walking away with $5,000 is that crooks' bad rule. Just like old times, huh, Chad? Oh, I forgot that gun. What are you doing with that gun? Pardon me while I blow out my brains. Candy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, it was empty. Gun was empty all the time. Sure was empty. I distinctly saw you put a cartridge back in that gun. No, Judge, you just thought you did. Candy, that's the best trick I've ever seen you pull. You'll get that $1,000 tomorrow, Judge, when you can see to put it back where it belongs. Oh, why tomorrow? Because some people would say that right now you're pretty close to being drunk. Well, it wouldn't be trouble I'd been in. Well, here's my boarding house. You sure picked a nice respectable atmosphere. What's that sign say? The Reverend Jean Barnard Rooms For Let. Reverend, huh? That's you, Judge? Oh, good evening, Mrs. Barnard. Rolling in again, huh? Tighter than a mink. Please, Madam, my... Evelyn, Reverend. Oh, wait a minute. That ain't my handle. The late Reverend was Mrs. Barnard's husband. And I only wish I was big enough to fill his shoes. Well, you look capable enough to fill almost anybody's shoes, man. Oh, get on in, Judge. Papa, is that you? Oh, yes. Am I deepest apologies, my dear? It's all right, Miss Cotton. I'll help the judge to his bunk. It's obvious you've been quite helpful already. Come on, Papa. Oh, uh, take your time tucking him in. I won't move a muscle till you get back. Sorry, Mr. But Elizabeth and me are saying good night now. Okay, clean church. We ain't got a church in Yellow Creek. Now, Van Moose. You haven't got a church? Oh, could you use a church if you had one? I ain't no preacher. I couldn't run a church. Then how about a mission, maybe, huh? Well, it'd be a decent place for folks to go to on Sundays, anyway. Sure it would. Now, here. Here's $1,500. You can have your mission in no time. You're joking, Mr. I never joke with money in my hand. Well, you don't look to me like a man who'd help the Lord again, the devil. You can't always tell by looking, sweetheart. You build a decent place for him to go to on Sunday, and I'll build one for weekdays. What's that? A saloon where they can get good whiskey and honest gambling. A place where every sucker will get a square deal. Good night, Mrs. Vonner. Oh, uh, you might tell Elizabeth I'll be sitting on the porch. Maybe I'll tell her and maybe I won't. But if you ain't gone in five minutes, I'll be down there with a shotgun. Thanks for your donation. I've got pop in bed, Mrs. Vonner. I can't tell you how sorry I am. Don't get it, child. That, uh, big spellbinders are waiting for you on the porch. Oh, he is, isn't he? Now, whoa, honey. I kind of like that fella. Reminds me of a piece of side pork. A streak of fan, a streak of lean, a streak of good, and a streak of mean. Well, personally, I'm a vegetarian. Still, you, uh, could go down and kind of... Oh, you bet I'm going down. And for once, somebody else is going to do the talking. Don't look so disappointed, honey. I'm still here. You're on the wrong side of town, Mr. Johnson. Oh, I think the two sides can get together. Well, I don't. Now, stay away from me and stay away from my father. Well, I thought the judge kind of liked me. My father sees good in everyone. Well, he wouldn't recognize the weasel, but had stripes down his back. That's a skunk, honey. You should know. Well, I hope I've made myself clear. I hope you understand me now, as well as I understand you. But you don't understand me, honey. The truth is, we're really the same kind of people. I'll kiss you and prove it. You'll do what? Still any doubts about it? I've never been treated like this in my entire life. Well, now, stop pretending you didn't like it. Come on, let's try it again, huh? Just for that, I'll kiss you twice. Now, get out of here. Get out. Okay, honey. You know, this looks like the beginning of a long and beautiful relationship. Good night. Well, did you tell him all good, Elizabeth? He kissed me. He what? Three times. Why didn't you stop him after the first one? I... Well, I don't know why. Thinks he can fool around my borders, does he? Just because he'd give me enough money to build a mission. A mission? He did that? $1,500. Oh, well. Well, maybe you were right about him after all. Maybe, honey, but remember, you're a vegetarian. Hmm? Oh, yes. Well, good night, Mrs. Bonner. In a moment, we'll bring you Act Two of Honky Tonk, starring Lana Turner and John Hodyak. We return you now to William Keely. Our curtain rises on Act Two of Honky Tonk, starting Lana Turner as Elizabeth and John Hodyak as Candy Johnson. In the weeks that went by, two new buildings arose in Yellow Creek, both built with Candy Johnson's money. One is the Square Deal Saloon, and the other, Mrs. Bonner's mission. At the mission's first service, one of the main speakers is Candy Johnson. Yeah, folks, I'm here to give you the lowdown on the ornery of Citizen West of the Mississippi. Frazos! No, no, I'm not referring to Sheriff Frazos. I'm talking about John Barley Corn. I used to like whiskey myself. I'd keep on pouring it down till I went plain loco. Now, if you'd like my home remedy to keep from taking a drink, well, here it is. A bag of candy. Outside of a woman's lips, the sweetest thing on earth. Steadies by hand and clears the eye. I'll come your talking against liquor. You sell it, don't you? Yes, friend. Yes. I found out long ago you can't keep some men from drinking. That's why I opened up the Square Deal Saloon. The only place where you can be sure that they cut the cards and not the liquor. But one honest saloon and one mission in Yellow Creek ain't enough. What you ought to have is a school for your kids and a city hall and a mayor and alderman. Decent honest folks will see to it that Yellow Creek becomes the finest town in the entire city. You're surprised I'm letting you walk home with me, aren't you, Mr. Johnson? I knocked off my feet, honey. You're finally starting to like me, huh? Oh, well, I didn't say that. But I did like what you said just now on the mission. I'm almost sure I may have been misjudging you. Have you got any idea, Miss Cotton, what a gal like you can do to a gent like me? No, but I'd like to find out. Well, I've seen women I'd look at quicker, but never one I'd look at longer. Oh, like that woman who works for you, Goldust? Goldust is all right, but we're talking about you. You're just a runt. I could put you in my best pocket and lose you in a small change. Me? Well, I've always gone for women that could stand up and slug it out with me, toe to toe. But you, honey, you slugged me just by looking at me. I'm a runt, and I slug you. I've never been complimented in quite those terms before. And your eyes are green, and that means hard to get along with. Oh, that's not true. I have a wonderful disposition. Maybe so, but you've got brains. And that ain't womanly. I haven't a brain in my head, Mr. Johnson. And you've got a full set of Boston principles that are just about as easy on a man as a hair shirt. So why don't you tell me something? Yes. Why do I keep coming back for more? Well, you've told me why, and very sweetly. Well, and why don't we just... You're going to put your arm around me, aren't you? I sure am, honey. I'm sorry, but you're not. Here's the boarding house, and I'm going in alone. I never saw a gal so willing to let it go at talk. A man's got to stop talking sometime. Oh, but not till he said some very important things. Goodbye, Mr. Johnson. Wait a minute. There's no sense. Oh, and thanks for the walk. I bet she even went to Harvard. Hello, Judge. We're doing all right, aren't we? We've cleaned up these last six months. I'm not complaining about that. It's what you're going to do that worries me. The elections? Or is it Elizabeth again? The elections. You're not satisfied with just a saloon anymore. You think of anyone better to run things here? Rizos, maybe? Rizos. Hmm. You've even got him working for you now. He saw the light. I think you do too, Judge. Now, what's wrong in putting all our friends into office? Oh, all right, Candy. What can I do? I need a few more good men around here. Run over to Granite and round up Kendall and Adams. What can I promise them? Tell them no matter what they're making, it's chicken feet to what to take of Ian Yellow Creek. Don't worry, Candy. They'll come. Oh, hello, Judge. I've been listening, Candy. Well, you're all set to take over every outfit in town, aren't you? Yeah, all except one. If you don't take that one over, it's going to take you. I never thought a woman would bother you that much, Candy Man. Why are you sure it's a woman? Because I'm one of the species myself. Um, Candy, you mind if I take off for a little while? I've got some business to take care of. Oh, go ahead, Abby. Just don't be too long. I'd miss you. Yeah, sure you would. Just like you missed the seven-year itch. Go on in, Goldust. Just fixing up some biscuits, Elizabeth and me. Oh, just passing by, Ms. Barnard. I wanted to leave off a little donation for the mission. Well, that's wonderful, Goldust. I'm sure a bleached. Elizabeth, you know Miss Elkins, don't you? Oh, come in, Miss Elkins. Oh, uh, chicken, huh? Well, I'm trying to. Oh, I can't get used to this altitude. It takes everything three times as long. That's only true of cooking, honey. Now, speaking of Candy Johnson... Were we? Well, he would be sooner or later. Yes, sir, that man's some salesman. The only trouble is he's selling just one thing. Candy Johnson. I'll say this for him, though. He don't hand out any guarantees. Well, how can you say that? He has a big sign right over his door. The square deal. He's got a different sign over his heart. You want to know what that one says? I can't wait. Honey, it says I'm not the kind of gent that stays put. Someday I'm going to point myself at the door and keep right on going. Believe me, sister, I know. What are you trying to say, gold dust? Something you should have had sense enough to know. Candy Johnson isn't the marrying type. Oh, and you've come to tell me that because you're jealous. You're getting warm, honey. You really don't think Candy's got a wedding ring all picked out, do you? What else would he be picking out? Excuse to get you out of town with him. Frisco, maybe, or Sacramento? I see. And you're warning me? Something like that. He's seeing you tonight, isn't he? I hope so. Yeah. Well, I'll get along now. Oh, say, could I have a drink first? Being a rat's awful thirsty work. What more could you ask for? Mountains and moonlight. Sure is romantic, huh? Candy, there's something on your mind, isn't there? Plenty. Every time I look at you, honey, it socks me right between the eyes. Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking, too, about courtships. While back home, they're never shorter than a year. I ain't got that much time, honey, not nearly. Now, look, you and me, we're going to hustle back into town. We're going to do some fast packing, and we're catching at 10 o'clock to Sacramento. And when you're packing that bag, don't put any wrong ideas into it. Such as? Well, I'm a citizen like this. I like to know that every door works both ways. When I walk in, I gotta know that I can walk out. You do wear a sign over your heart, don't you? What? Candy, you know very well I'm not going to Sacramento. Well, now, wait a minute. We won't be there alone. Your father's going to meet us there. My father's in Granite. You send him. Sure, I did. And then he's going to Sacramento. What's the matter? Nothing. Well, if we're going, we haven't much time, have we? That's right. Get up there. Honey, you're going to knock them dead. First off, I'm going to hire a whole floor at the Sierra Palace hotel, and then we'll buy out the town. I've been aching to see you dressed like you ought to be. Plenty of plumes and diamonds. A whole handful of diamonds in your hair. Diamonds in my hair. Yes, Candy, what more could a girl ask for? I got the train tickets, honey. Ready to leave? Already. Oh, but we've plenty of time. Sit down for a while. Where's Mrs. Varney? This is her prayer meeting night. Oh, yeah, that's right. Candy, I want a drink of toast. You take a drink? Why not? This isn't a patient, is it? Now, wait a minute. Oh, that's right. I forgot you can't drink. I can, but I don't. Oh, and I did so want a drink to the diamonds and the plumes. Oh, come on, Candy. I've always heard it isn't polite to let anyone drink alone. Sure, I'll drink. Go ahead, fill it up. Now, you're just not trying to impress me, are you? You know, like a little boy walking you on his hands. Here's to Boston, honey. Oh, no. No, to Yellow Creek. The gents from Yellow Creek and the diamonds and the plumes. Well, you did get it down, didn't you? What are you doing? Filling your glass. No, no, I don't think I should. Give it to me. This one's to the Sierra Palace Hotel. And a red silk dress. Candy, what's your real name? I guess I know you're well enough to tell you. Well... But you don't know me well enough to laugh. Well, I won't laugh. Let me have that bottle. It needs courage to tell you this. All right. It's Jettariah. Jettariah, Johnson. I know you're well enough to smile. Well, drink up, Jettariah. What to this time? To, uh, knock him dead in Sacramento. That's the best one yet, honey. And that's your third drink. Now, give me that bottle. You've had enough, I think. I'm thinking for both of us from now on. Yes, Candy. And I'm thinking one more drink is just what I need. Just one more drink. Good morning, Mr. Johnson. Don't you think it's time you woke up? How do we get to Sacramento, honey? Oh, we didn't. Uh, this is Mrs. Bonner's spare room. We brought the two of you up here last night. The two of me? Well, you and the bottle. You wouldn't give it up. Well, what else happened? Well, don't you remember? Oh, you were very happy. So happy you wouldn't stop singing. Did I sing good? Well, the sentiment was beautiful. All you sang was, Here Comes the Bride. Here comes... Hey. Wait a minute, that thing you're wearing on your finger. That. It's a wedding ring, Candy. What'd you get it? Well, you gave it to me. Oh, and the minister in Evansburg was very cross with you. We were in Evansburg last night? Yes, Candy. We were married in Evansburg last night. Of all the ornery tricks. Well, good morning, Mrs. Johnson. Good morning, Mr. Johnson. Now, look, maybe I got conned into this marriage and maybe I didn't. But anyway, we're married, so come here. Oh, well, I'll go down and fix some breakfast for you. Well, you're not nervous, are you? You know, it's too bad we didn't have one of them long Boston courtships. In three or four years you'd have been called as a cucumber. Now you listen to me. We are going to have one of those long Boston courtships. The only difference is it's starting after the wedding. I'm going to have respect from you, Candy. That ain't why you married me, honey. You're going to change. You didn't go to all that trouble just to reform me, did you? Maybe I did. All right. I'll reform during the day, and it may keep me busy until nine o'clock tonight. But I'll be back at nine, and you better be here. Morning, Candy. Well, I just got off the train. Everything's fixed. Kendall and Adams will be on tap tomorrow. That's fine, Judge. Sit down, have a drink. Well, I really ought to be getting right home to Elizabeth. I've been thinking things over, and I... Well, I am sending her back to Boston, Candy. I don't think she'll go. I'll insist on it. This is no place for her. Come on, here, have a drink. Um, this is the first time you ever pressed a drink on me. Why? Judge, Elizabeth and me were married last night. Married? You married Elizabeth? That's right. I could kill you for that, Candy. I could kill you, except I... I couldn't even shoot a dog. I'm going to hate you as long as I live. He told me you married him, Elizabeth. Darling, you knew I loved him, didn't you? That's why I wanted to get you back to Boston. Elizabeth, I'm going to tell you something I should have told you long ago. Candy Johnson is a liar and a thief. Please, Papa, don't. Maybe there is something wrong with Candy, but he'll change. I know he will. And I'm no better than he is. I'm a cheap crook with a respectable front. I was born that way, and I'll die that way. And so will Candy. We'll never do anything but hurt you. We'll never change, except for the worst. Papa, no. No, that's not so. No, it's no use, dear. It's just no use. Hold up. Give me a minute. What's the matter, Sonny? I thought you went home an hour ago. I was home at nine o'clock sharp. I've been arguing with my wife for 40 minutes. Already? I thought she wants to know whether I have decent honorable emotions or not. Why didn't you just kiss her, Candy Man? How could I? She had that door lock. And you didn't break it down? Sure I broke it down. I stayed just long enough to tell her good night. Now, if you'd like to come to my wedding supper, I'm inviting you right now. Brides at home cladding out her pretty green eyes. Well, then let's eat. Hey, Sniper. Yeah, Candy? Bring us a couple of steaks and a bottle of beer for the lady. Now, stop lying to me, Sniper. Honest, Mrs. Jackson. Candy ain't here. Why, he ain't been back all evening. The man at the bar said he was in his office. Is that his office? Whoa, yeah, but... That's all I wanted to know. Hey, get away from that door. Well, I'm glad I didn't have to break it down. Oh, hello, Goldust. Hello, Mrs. Johnson. The two of us are having a little wedding supper. Honey, sit down. I certainly will. Order me a steak, too. While you're sure you'd like our steaks out here, we eat them rare, honey. That ain't Boston style. My grandfather used to eat them raw on the hook. Oh, sure. It probably took the horns in one hand and the tail in the other and ate the critter like an eerie corn. What about your ancestors? They didn't eat beef, honey. They just rustled it. Family troubles already? Oh, only with the relations on my husband's side. Oh, well, Candy isn't a relation of mine. He's just a friend. An old friend? She hardly knows anything about you, dear. If I'd sold all I knew, sister, he'd be in jail. And so would you, sweetheart. Well, the Mrs. doesn't object, Candy. I think I'll leave this wedding party. Before I go to another, I'll give me a husband first. Thanks for the beef steak. All right. What'd you come down here for? To tell you what I thought of you. Oh, but I can't. I can't. Oh, Candy, it isn't my fault if I can't slug it out with your total toe. I didn't want to be born in Boston. It just happened. And I can't help it if I have green in my eyes. I'm just as good-looking as she is, and I have just as good a figure, maybe even better. And I can walk like she does if that's what you want. What else can you do? Well, I... I haven't had much practice, but... but I can kiss a man. Practice? Oh, Candy, I... I want to go home. I've got my arms around you, honey. You are home. Our stars, Lana Turner and John Hodeac, will return in a moment with act three of Honky Tonk. Here's Mr. Keely at the microphone. After our curtain, you're invited backstage for a visit with tonight's stars. Here's the final act of Honky Tonk, starring Lana Turner as Elizabeth and John Hodeac as Candy Johnson. Though tricked by Elizabeth into marriage, Candy Johnson's discovered that the girl from Boston is nothing short of an ideal wife. And matrimony, the perfect existence. Yes, for two years now, all things have flourished for Candy. Yellow Creek is a blooming town, and he's ruling it with a crafty, greedy hand. Come in, Brazos. What's on your mind? Them storekeepers again. They say they can't pay the rent we get to stay in business, too. Tell them to shut up and raise the price of beans. Or can't you handle a tough assignment like that? I think I can swing it, Candy. Anything else? Yeah, we've got every roulette wheel and poker table in town on a 15% kick in. Well? Heist at the 20. But do I get out of the heist? The same as before. Any objections? Plenty. But where'll they get me? Nowhere. So I ain't kicking. Not yet. So long, Candy. Sniper, close up the office. I'm going home. Uh, boys, what about Brazos? You need rats in this business sometimes. The citizens are getting awful mad at you. I'm going home. Uh, had big dinners on tonight, huh? Yeah. I'm entertaining the biggest politicians in this state. Plus four millionaires. The, uh, judge is going to be there. He's Elizabeth's father, ain't he? The judge is doing an awful lot of talking these days. There's anybody else here to shut him up months ago. I'll have a little chat with him. Better do it quick, Candy. He's out to get you. And what's eating him anyway? His own son-in-law. That's what's eating him. I'll talk to him tonight. Finished dressing, honey? Uh-huh. There, do I look all right? Only the prettiest thing I've ever seen. Black lace stockings and diamonds in my hair. That's what I promised you, and that's what you got. Everything but the plumes. I would think of it, darling. You and I are about to entertain the most important men in the state. Aren't you nervous? I'm shaking all over. Suve me, honey. Oh, Candy. Candy, darling, I love you so. Never stop saying that, baby. Never. Oh, uh, your father downstairs? Oh, he said he had to go out. He left just before you came home. He'll be back, won't he? I'm sure he will. Why? Oh, well, nothing sugar. Nothing important. Well, Mr. Johnson, now that the ladies have left us, perhaps we can get down to business, eh? Yes, Johnson, what about that mining stock deal? Well, gentlemen, I'm happy to tell you that... Good evening, gentlemen. Come on in, Judge. I'm sorry I'm late. But I can still have a little drink with the gang, eh, Candy? Gentlemen, my father-in-law, Judge Cotton, retired. Yes, very tired judge and a practicing drunkard. Now, how about a little drink? Excellent. A toast to Candy Johnson, Nevada's man of the hour. Yes, to the man who arrived in Yellow Creek with one shirt and a million words. Now the people have all the words and he's got every shirt in town. You can do better than that, Judge. Yes, I can. I'll drink to your guests. A room full of suckers. Suckers? You know what a sucker is, don't you? A sucker is any fool who listens to Candy Johnson. Good night, gentlemen. All right, I do run this town. That's why you came here. You're ready to pay for anything that I can do for you and I can do plenty, so we ought to get along fine. Now, does anybody see a difference? I'd like to repeat my toast to Candy Johnson, Nevada's man of the hour. Candy Johnson! Well, darling, tell me, did I behave all right? Was the dinner successful? Honey, I got those big boys just where I want them, all of them. Oh, what a relief. You weren't worried. Well, I've been worried about a lot of things, Candy. For instance? Oh, for instance, about you. About your never wanting to feel married. I don't want to feel married. Well, I wish you would. He'd want you to. Who'd want me to? Your son, or your daughter, as the case may be. I'm a great-tailed tanger. Oh, Candy. Candy's been having a baby. It doesn't make you feel too married. What do you think? I was scared, Candy. I was scared to death you'd start looking for a door. What door? From now on, this house hasn't got any doors. Am I intruding? Oh, Papa, darling, where have you been? I just wanted to tell you, Elizabeth, that I'm leaving this house tonight. I'm moving into town. Papa. Come on now, Judge. You've got to start acting like a grandfather. What? Elizabeth, I tried to believe you didn't know what was going on. What's making all the honest, respectable citizens of Yellow Creek talk about taking the law into their own hands. Forget it, Judge. Just a lot of suckers talking to more suckers. You were going to change him. Instead, he's changed you. Wait a minute. What's wrong with her wearing dresses like this? What's wrong with her living in a house like this? What's wrong with her being happy? If you cared about anything but yourself, you'd know. The only chance for real happiness is to get away from you. Anything I like, Judge, I don't let get away from me. I wish you were dead. You're acting like a bunch of school kids now. Shut up. All right, Brazos. Now, what's this you're trying to tell me about the judge? We've kept quiet for more than a month while he's been shooting off his mouth. He's out to get his candy, and the boys here don't like it. We should have put him out of his misery weeks ago. We've got to do something, Candy. This reform league in town is holding a meeting tomorrow night. They're demanding a grand jury investigation. That's right, Candy. The judges promised him all kinds of faction figures. The judge will leave town tomorrow morning on the 10 o'clock train for good. Now, get out of my office. Brazos. Yeah? I figure the boys got the idea that you were sending the judge out of town. I'm doing it. Understand? Oh, sure, Candy. They was worried you might be a little sentimental about the judge. Me? I wasn't worried at all. Sure you understand everything, Judge? I understand perfectly. I'll tell Elizabeth you got a sudden itch to be on the move again. Drop her a line, and when you need more, let me know. Where do you be? Right here in Yellow Creek. Hanging from what tree? After the baby's born, I'll have Elizabeth pay you a nice, long visit. So long, Judge. Well, folks, you all heard what our reform committee's got to report. The thing is, what do we do about it? I'm forgetting a rope right now. Let's switch to the next Candy Johnson and his whole gang. That never settled anything. Wait till we hear from Judge Cotton. Why ain't he here now? I don't know why, but he will be. No, I'm afraid he won't. The judge sends his regrets, folks, and asks that I take over. I understand you got a squat coming. Yes, and a loud one. When the judge starts talking, the grand jury will hear it a mile away. The judge is through talking, but I'm not. I don't like to blow my own horn, folks, but it seems to me as though I have to remind you of a few things. Don't let him get wound up or you'll have us noddin' like trained seals. I can prove that 40 cents out of every tax dollar goes to public improvement. And we can prove that 60 cents goes to you. Mr. Wells, I don't like talk like that. I've got to ask you to trot out the proof right now or pull in your horns. Don't worry, folks. I'll give you all the proof you need. I've changed my mind, Candy. I got off that train and I'm seeing this thing through. Here's the whole rotten story. I'll begin with Sheriff Brazos, the man who just shot me. Brazos and Candy Johnson here made a deal with... a deal with... Sniper! Where's my wife? Where's Elizabeth? Candy, haven't you heard? Sure I heard. I was there when Brazos killed him. I've got to find Elizabeth. I meant, haven't you heard about Elizabeth? What are you trying to tell me? Well, she was in her carriage when they carried the old man out. She saw him, Candy, and she fainted. She fell from the carriage. He'd hurt real bad. Where is she? Where? Well, the darkened gold dust. They took her to Gold Dust House. It was the nearest place, Candy. Elizabeth, Elizabeth. Candy... Candy, where are you? I'm here, honey. Right here. Oh, it's my fault Pop is dead. He was only trying to help me. He didn't understand that I... I couldn't believe you, no matter what you did. I should leave you, but I... I never will. Have you had any idea that Brazos was... Someday... Someday I'll be like you. I'll lie and cheat and steal tools. It's the drug, Mr. Johnson. She doesn't know what she's saying. Doc, she's going to be all right. She is, isn't she? She'll be all right. But the baby, I'm sorry. It doesn't matter. Candy, Sniper says he's got to see you. Things have busted loose, Candy. We're in trouble. Not now. We're in the warpath. Brazos and the boys are holed up in the city hall. They got guns and barricades. You better listen to him, Candy. The judge getting himself killed like that touched off the works. He said her only chance was to get away from me. I believe that so much, he got himself killed for it. Let's believe him. Coldust? Yeah? This envelope, give it to Elizabeth. Inside it tells where everything is. There's enough cash to last her a hundred years in Boston. You're picking up time to walk out. I should have walked longer ago. Not unless you're no good for her, like the judge said. I've got a different reason. I'm not for her. Her speed is somebody working in a store selling groceries. That's for her, and I just found it out. She's asking for you again, Mr. Johnson. Tell her I... No. Never mind, I'll go in. Now, there's nothing to cry about, honey. Nothing at all. What did the doctor tell you, Candy? Sure. He said you're going to be fine. But the baby, I... I lost your baby. I didn't think you wanted one, and then... I knew you were so happy. Now, when you get well, honey, you're going to have everything you ought to have. A nice, clean world, all dressed up in a white shirt with its face washed. I like the one I have. No, you just kind of got used to it. You'd better get some sleep now. No, I... I want to stay awake and think about my husband. Please, honey. All right. I'll go to sleep then and dream about him. How about a kiss? You've got to do me for a long time. Candy. Oh, it's just that any time away from you is a long time. Well, where are you going? Let's go, Sniffer. Candy. Candy, come back. That's us there yelling for, boys. They're sure anxious to have our blood. They'll never bust in here, you sure built this city all solid. Wait a minute. How come they let you through just now? They offered me a deal. They're giving me ten minutes to get out of town with my hands up and my pockets empty. If I was you, I'd take it. You only wish you were me. They got a rope for you, Brace. I'm not a judge. But I am, you candy. I just now changed pleasure with you. I'm boss now, see. I get that high horse you've been riding and you get a little hunk of lead. But first me and the boys want to see you do some crawling. Light my cigar. Come on, light me. I told you once I don't carry matches. Here's a fistful of matches. Light me. Looks like I don't have much choice in the matter. All right, Braceless. That's the last time you slug anybody, Johnson. Well, boys, I guess Braceless won't hang after all. All right, candy. Stop your gun. Stop it! How you set it with Braceless is your own business. What goes on now is ours. We don't give in to that town out there. That town gives in to us. Now, how do you stand? Now, how do you think I'd stand? I'm through talking to them suckers out there and I'm through running. Now, get on those windows, boys, and start shooting. When we polish off a town full of citizens, we'll be famous. But this won't be the real fight. That's going to start when the militia gets here. What militia? I got a telegram just before I came here. That's why I was late. The governor's heard about our little feud and he's sending down the militia. You're going to fight it out with them, too? You bet I am. Oh, no. They'll come charge it up here with their cannons and we'll have some nice shiny brass buttons they aim at. What are you worried about? We're all duly elected officers of the town government. We ain't breaking the law set mob out there rioting. I got this town in my pocket and I'm hanging on to it. Now, who wants the honor of firing a first shot? Your town. I ain't fighting the militia to fill your pocket. He's right. The troops are massacres. Maybe they will, but what a fight we're going to put up. Nobody will ever say we ran out the back way. I ain't too proud to go out the back way. Me neither. How about it, boys? Hey, come back here. Come back, you yellow dog. Looks like we've been deserted, Candy. Yeah. Like me, Sniper. You're getting more like Brazos every minute, except he's dead and I ain't. You're dead in Yellow Creek. You just give the town back to the suckers. That was the best con speech I ever heard. Come on, Sniper, let's go meet our public. You're 10 minutes off, Johnson. And the city hall's all yours. Move right in, folks. It's vacant. What about that gang of cutthroats? They're pouring out of the back door right now. And Brazos? Brazos is dead. Now, if you'll excuse us, Sniper and me, we got some urgent business to attend to out of town. Start running, Johnson. All right, suckers. One side, please. Here we go. Running for a train again. Relax, Sniper. Here, have a peppermint. I know we've been living in your hotel a month, and if it's the bill you're worrying about, I got an idea. Will you please let me say something? Now, the bill comes to $100. Now, here's a deck of cards. Highman wins. Pick a card, double the bill, and nothing. But I'm not talking about the bill. Huh? You ain't. The lady just came in. She said she wanted to see you. Young lady. Sniper. Honey. Oh, I couldn't be any more glad to see you if you was a big fat sucker from Iowa. Oh, I've never told you this, Sniper, but I think you're beautiful. Uh, he don't know I sent for you, honey, and he's going to take my head off when he finds it out, but meantime, it's, uh, Room 206. First turn to the left. Hello, Candy. Elizabeth. Wait, wait a minute. It's bad luck to say goodbye twice to the same person. I didn't come all the way here to have you say goodbye to me again. You know I'm no good for you. No. No good at all. Only all I have to live for. You mean that? You think I can change? You changed long ago when you ran away from me. A man like you running away from a runt from Boston. Every time I look at you, honey, you still slug me right between the eyes. Which I'm very apt to do if you don't kiss me. A fine married couple we are without even a home. Home? With your arms around me, Candy, I am home. Good night and thanks for being with us. This is William Keely saying good night to you from Hollywood.