 The narcissist thinks you want them back. That's what we're going to be talking about in this video. And I have spoken about this topic before, but I am going to be going a bit deeper into it in this one. Yes, believe it or not, despite everything they did to you, they manipulated you, they lied to you, they future faked, they devalued and degraded you, they put you down, they sabotaged your success, maybe they cheated on you, they stole from you, maybe they even started a smear campaign against you. But despite all of this, believe it or not, yes, the narcissist may have the arrogance and the audacity to think that you still want them back. And I know a lot of you may be watching this, and even just the title may make you feel sick, because this person who did all of these things to you, you probably don't even want to see their face ever again. They're probably the last person you ever want to see. And yet, yes, they may well want you back. The camera's a bit blurry for the lights. But yeah, they may want you back. And the reason why, how they're able to think in this way, where they can do all of these things to you and yet still have this arrogance and audacity, it's because they are completely detached from any character or any sense of self. They have a false character. And in fact, they have more than one. They use a different character for different people, and yet they are detached from all of these characters because it's not really them. They have no identity of their own. So their actions, their behaviors, in their minds it has nothing to do with them, which is how they're able to come back like nothing happened, because they never even took accountability for anything that they did. They never changed, they never grow, they never develop. They stay the exact same way until the day they die. They are never going to change. Even when they want you back, they come back just to manipulate you, just to deceive you again. And yes, they may come back with false epiphanies and fake apologies, anything to get you under their spell again, especially with female narcissists. As we know, they are very manipulative. They're very good at switching these different characters, selling you a dream, a fantasy. That's just a typical thing that a histrionic female narcissist will do. That's just typically how they behave. And especially in those cases, yes, they will abuse and manipulate you. They will lie to you and gaslight you. And then they will come back like nothing happened. But even with the male narcissist, this is true as well. Male narcissist, I say male, but let's be real, they are not real men, because real men do not feel the need to manipulate anyone. They can be honest and upfront. They can be direct and truthful about their intentions or objectives. There's no need for a man to lie to anyone. That just completely goes against what masculinity is. But male narcissist, as I've said before, they are not real men. A real man is an empath. But these narcissists, male or female, as you may have seen already, yes, they will come back like nothing happened. They will come back to manipulate and use you again, because they are completely delusional. They really think they're warped minds that you could actually want someone like that, someone who acts crazy, someone who thinks they can get away with all of these things. And yet they can just return and expect you to still find them sexually attractive or desirable. That doesn't make any sense. But this is how it is for them, because they experienced a lot of abuse and trauma in their childhood. They went through a lot of things, and because of that, they have mixed up what an attractive or desirable person even is. So they think they can mix up abuse and seduction. When for any normal person, there's just nothing sexually attractive about that. That will just turn you away. It will turn you off. It just won't even make you want to engage. But this is how they operate. Narcissists, they have all of these weird fetishes like BDSM. Many of them are like chains and whips, handcuffs, all of these crazy things. And maybe there could be some people watching this who are into that as well. But as long as it's under control and it's something that you mutually enjoy, that's your choice if you like to engage in that type of sexual behavior. But from my research, it does come from a childhood trauma, abuse and sexual behavior. These things should not mix. But this leads in to the topic of this video, because that is exactly what these narcissists think and do. They abuse you. They do all of these things to you. And then they come back thinking that they still have this value, expecting you to be attracted to them. When there is nothing attractive about that to a normal person. But this is just how they think. And that is why they have this arrogance, this delusional attitude. But they think that they can just come back like nothing happened and just pick up where they left off. They really are delusional. They're crazy, detached from reality. And this is what happens when they lie so much. They start to believe their own lies. Many of them actually think that they are these perfect people who can't do anything wrong, because they don't take accountability. And their enablers are too weak and afraid to ever even dare to confront them. Which is how they get away with so many things. And they don't attribute all of these negative traits and characteristics to themselves. Which of course that means they don't even know who they are. Because all of these actions and behaviors that they engage in, since they are the ones who are engaging in it, they should be assigned to themselves. They should be owning these traits and characteristics, these actions and behaviors, if they were to have a real, true and authentic identity. But they don't do that. They lie. They manipulate. They gaslight. Which is how you should know that they have no identity of their own. And they lie so much. They don't even know who they are. All they have is a false character, which is just based on how successful they have been in their manipulation. So yeah, they are completely fake, because you have to own both the good and bad sides of yourself and take accountability for what you have done wrong. If you can't do that, you are a fake person. And this is for anyone who is watching this as well. Even for us, we must take accountability for our faults and mistakes. Because by doing that, it allows us to be more authentic and to improve and become the best versions of ourselves. Which is something that we typically do. I mean, of course, that's why most of you are watching this video right now. You're watching it to learn and to become better. You have the desire to heal, but narcissists, they're completely fake. And in a way, I think they actually like being fake. It's either that or they just prefer it. They do not want to accept themselves. That is the last thing that they want to accept. Because to accept themselves and to be real and authentic, they would have to accept all of the things that they have done to you, which of course is something they're never going to do. So they will always be fake. They will be fake for the rest of their lives. As for myself, I will admit that yes, I'm human. I've made plenty of faults and mistakes in my life and I've spent a lot of time reflecting on that so that I can improve and become a better version of myself. But even when you do that, they don't like it because it reflects badly on them. It reminds them that while you are real, they are fake. It just reminds them of that and they don't want to be constantly reminded of it. So to sum it up, this is how they can think that you still want them. This is how they can come back like nothing happened because they are fake people. If they were real, they would at least have the very key components that make us human beings. Effective empathy. The ability to feel and understand another person's emotions as if you were going through it yourself. The ability to put yourself in another person's shoes. But quite clearly they can't do that. But it's why they come back like nothing happened. It's why they have the arrogance to think that you still want them because let's remind ourselves what arrogance is. It's an exaggeration of a person's abilities and importance. They can't see that they are unimportant. They can't see that they lack the abilities to maintain a healthy relationship. If they could see that they probably wouldn't come back but they come back because of this arrogance. They don't realize that when you do these types of things to people you lose that significance. You are no longer important because you don't deserve to be held to that regard. But just know and be aware that yes they will come back and they will come back like nothing happened as though they never did anything to you. They'll come back expecting you to forgive them or to not even confront them on what they did. They would expect things to just return to normal overlooking everything they did to you. And it's because they're fake. These characteristics, these traits, these actions and behaviors they do not assign these things to themselves, to their own character. Their character is built on a lie. It is a false self. If it was real it would integrate the negative things as well but it doesn't include that. They could do something to you and just quickly forget about it and still see themselves as being perfect, faultless because it's all a lie. They're completely fake, they're not real and that's how they can come back so easily and when you see it, if you've been watching my videos it does seem really fake the way they come back with these apologies acting like they've realized what they did wrong but then they can never expand, they can never actually explain what it was or why it was wrong because they have this sense of entitlement which comes along with them seeing themselves as being perfect because they don't have any real sense of self. There's no one in there. They get their identity from us, the supply. We fuel them. We give them a life and when they leave they just find other supply. They can't be alone. A narcissist can't be alone even for one day. They would probably go insane. They would lose their minds. It would drive them crazy because there's nothing inside of there. There's no person, no human being. All they've got is a void and that void needs to be filled and that is all they can think about. They can't think about anything else. It's like imagine if you didn't eat any food for a couple of weeks and then someone was coming to you with their problems or something they want you to help them with or maybe saying that you did something wrong to them and they want you to resolve it. If you didn't have anything to eat for the past two weeks and you were starving the last thing you could think about is someone else. You wouldn't be able to put yourself in their shoes or even if you could. You wouldn't feel much desire or motivation to do anything about it because you haven't eaten for the past two weeks, you're starving. It's the exact same thing with narcissists. Only for them it's emotional starvation and it's emotional starvation because they have a void and they have a void because they never had the emotional needs met when they were children and there's nothing that we can do about that now. They would need to spend years in therapy and even then there is no cure for the disorder. So this is why they are the way that they are. They just didn't get much attention as a child especially not the emotional attention that they needed. So even when they get it now it's still not enough. They're still crazy, they're still mad and they're just always going to be that way and anything that reminds them of that fact that reflects this back to them. It irritates them, it winds them up. It causes a narcissistic injury but then at the same time they just can't be alone. They can't be alone even for five minutes. They've always got to be around you or someone else. Their other supplies, their flying monkeys, enablers. I've said it before well much about the narcissist past. You look at their life, you probably won't be able to remember even one day in their entire life when they were alone. They just can't be alone because there's just no identity, no character. All they have is a false self and this false self needs excessive attention, admiration and praise where it needs to be able to keep other people down and devalue them so that they can feel powerful and important. Either way it still props up the false character but if there was ever a time when for whatever reason they had to be alone even just for one day but definitely a few days, one week you would quickly see them fall apart. They would experience a lot of stress, they would lose their minds because there's just nothing there. There's nothing there and there's nothing there. There's just nothing inside of them whereas for me or for you we could spend a week alone we could camp out in a forest somewhere and then we would come back feeling completely refreshed because we do have something inside of us. We don't have a void but narcissists, they do have a false self and that's how they can do all of these things and then come back like nothing happened but that doesn't mean that they just live with it. The shame continues to grow within them they may not show it in the way that we do but just look at them they've got so much stress so much anxiety so much fear guilt you can see that they are always going through it you can see that they are very miserable it's like they can't even sit in a space with you without having to manipulate and abuse you lie to you, put you down, insult you say all of these things about you they can't even sit in a space with you and do that because they're so miserable they're constantly going through it there's all of these things going on in their mind there's all of these things that they have done in the past and it is eating away at them but they try to disguise it by deflecting it onto other people they want to make us think that it's us but it's not us at all there was nothing wrong with us before we got involved with them we were perfectly fine but we didn't do anything to them they were already that way they were that way from the very beginning because they were too weak they couldn't handle the pain in their childhood while we may have gone through even worse things than they did and yet we still chose a different path and that's how it's so easy for us to be happy and carefree we can just love other people and enjoy our lives but these types of people they cannot do that all they're going to do is come back and maybe love bomb you again in the beginning but then they will quickly return to the devaluation again they will always return to that and of course it is because of the disorder this disorder does not allow them to function normally they thrive in dysfunctional environments where they abuse you and put you down and yet at the same time they disown all of these parts of themselves they're completely detached from who they are because they don't want to accept all of these negative things about themselves so that's my message for this topic let me know what you think below in the live chat have you experienced this yet but the narcissist thought that you still wanted them let me know down below I understand this may be quite triggering for some people but it's just weird to even say that and put the narcissist in the same sentence because it's like how could we even think of the narcissist thinking that we want them or that they are still attractive or desirable after everything that they have done to us I mean to a normal person this just doesn't make any sense of course between narcissist who's experienced all of this trauma and they have this disorder it makes sense to them because they have a false self which they are detached from they have no true identity of their own so they disown all of these parts of themselves and they assign them to you which is how by the end of it it's like they're blaming you for these things they're making false accusations as though you're bad or you're crazy and you're just looking at it like this isn't me, it's you you are just projecting these characteristics and traits onto me Ishan Mishra asks what is the instant indication that someone is narcissistic I would say that although I have seen some videos on YouTube that do say there's like an instant way to know but I did see a video by Richard Granan he said something like if you say no to a narcissist then they won't take it very well which makes sense but to me personally I would say that it would take time to know for sure although there is one way that I can think of and that's by looking at the people that they surround themselves with are they surrounding themselves with other groups of narcissists especially sociopaths they tend to operate in groups of like-minded people and you just got to think and put yourself in their shoes would you feel comfortable around those types of people people who you know are bad and abusive people who are engaged in immoral acts because it's kind of like people who use recreational drugs together or drink alcohol they all tend to be in a similar boat but if a person is healthy and they're not a narcissist or a sociopath they don't desire to be around dysfunctional behaviour that type of person is not going to stay in that type of group they are not going to associate themselves with those types of people because it would affect them it would make them sick and those qualities and traits might rub off on them so for me that is an instant indication that someone is narcissistic it depends on the company that they choose to keep Quiltit asks do they ever get exhausted of themselves I don't think they really do as long as they have supply then all of this stress and exhaustion that they have they can just deflect it onto the supply but if they are alone they will just end up driving themselves mad William Finley says if they see you joyful and happy they will become very agitated yeah that's very true but then I'm sure we've also experienced it the other way around as well because that can happen too when they abuse us and then instantly they start feeling calm and happy that can be quite irritating but it should just remind you that they are quite clearly impaired they don't have that effective empathy Lone Wolf says they are so important to themselves it may seem that way but it is just the false self who they actually are is not important to them at all John Tracy says I was portrayed as insane by the flying monkeys after the spear campaign yeah it's always the same it doesn't matter what part of the world you're from in the end they always when they enforce their flying monkeys the narrative is always that we're crazy something is wrong with us you'd think at some point people would start to catch on however it's going on the spear campaigns, the gang stalking all of these things it's always the same narrative every time and it's like people never seem to get it although I do believe that the flying monkeys are narcissistic as well that's why they're all together in the group because they think alike and they're just in it because they see a sense of belonging to the group and an opportunity to affect a isolated target which is just what these types of people seem to enjoy it distracts them from themselves and their own lives it gives them a sense of power in a world where they would normally feel powerless because these types of people it's like normally they might not even be able to pay their rents or their bills though it normally notices them or pays them any attention and now finally suddenly rather they've just been granted this power to chase after this target and do hurtful things to them so they're really seeking power and control because otherwise they feel powerless and insecure Anonymous2281K says narcissists who have a lot of money and supply still get envious of people for being able to experience peace yes I agree with that that's very true I mean I even remember in my own experience where I had a lot of money and I had a lot of people around me a lot of girls at the time and yet yes even for me I noticed with other people they had a lot less they didn't even have many people around them and yet I could see they had so much peace and I used to look at them and wonder how I could have all of their stuff and I still couldn't find peace and then I realised I was using money people and sex as a distraction from my internal state which is what a lot of people do even those who aren't narcissists and I think we've all been sold a dream it's like when you get this perfect job you finish college you get your degree you make lots of money you buy a fast car, a big house you have tons of friends neighbours and the right neighbourhood we saw this dream that once you have all of their stuff now you're finally allowed to be happy when in fact even when you achieve all of these things the ego always wants more no matter how much you have so you just end up wanting even more and you're just feeding into this addiction and of course with narcissists they have very addictive personalities so this affects them even more they're highly concerned with their image and exploiting their targets for supply and in the end they never find peace or happiness they just become even more bitter and resentful as they age Quilty says you would think that something would click with a narcissist but it doesn't yes that's a very interesting point it doesn't click because this disorder that they have is a trauma response a hostile environment in childhood so they believe that it defends and protects them they don't actually see that it is self-destructive they're just thinking about what they can get in the moment they don't self-reflect and it's because it's meant to protect them it's meant to protect their fragile ego and that's why when you cause a narcissistic injury then they lash out at you they don't look at themselves or self-love like we do because the disorder is set up to protect them from ever being vulnerable or even looking at themselves so that's why it doesn't click but of course there are some very rare cases where narcissists are completely isolated and alone or they're persuaded to go to therapy because of some crisis and then in therapy they can eventually become aware of their disorder and how it is affecting them and then they may finally begin to take accountability and try to make the necessary changes but of course this is very rare it's not something that happens often so I don't want anyone to be hopeful that their narcissist can change in most cases it is highly unlikely thank you for the donation Mirtel Starra I appreciate it FreeSpirit says narcissists show us what an ego-based false self looks like our own ego reacts to theirs and we can see it and be grateful to be real yes that's very true I mean that's all it really is it's ego-based but they have this obsessive need to feel important and yet as you said yes they do attack our egos as well but when they do that we can see it we are aware of it but for them it's their disorder it's how they protect themselves they lash out while we tend to self-loat thank you Vicky Rice for all of the comments there I appreciate your support but yes I think that's enough for this topic this is just what they do the arrogance I know how they think that you still want them it's because they're fake that's really all that it is their characteristics, their traits their toxic behaviors they do not attribute these things to themselves if they did and they took accountability and they worked on themselves to change then they would be real and of course the odds are that they wouldn't be a narcissist because narcissism or rather NPD is maladaptive they do not change, adjust or adapt it's a very rigid, inflexible personality so yes that's it for this one if this video was helpful for you you can show your support down below by giving this video a thumbs up and you can let me know your thoughts in the comment section let me know if you agree with this video or not share and subscribe and as always I will talk to you in another video very soon