 Hello everyone, another Narc Spiver Live video. In this one, we do have a very interesting topic. The Narcissist will never be happy. You know, a lot of you may not feel too happy right now after everything they did to you. They loved bombed you, they manipulated and deceived you. They future faked, they lied to you. They devalued and discarded you. They did all of these things to you. And you may feel bad, but trust me it will pass with time. Especially if you are an empath. We can self reflect, we can process these emotions, we can heal our traumas, but unfortunately for these manipulating and deceptive Narcissists, it's not so easy for them. Because a lot of them lack self awareness, they don't self reflect. They don't process these emotions instead they deflect. So in many ways you unknowingly and unintentionally become there. You become the source of their misery, pain and shame. And the reason why you become that is because there wasn't an equal exchange. There wasn't reciprocation. You were led to believe that you were going to get something and you didn't get that. Or you were manipulated and deceived. You were harmed. You were led astray. And you didn't have justice. There was nothing in retribution as a result of what was done to you. And so that energy stays with them. And they carry that with them wherever they go in whatever relationship they get into. But they can't validate themselves. They need other people to validate the illusion. So they'll run off and they'll try and look for you in someone else. But it's never the same. Because they can never find you. Which is why a lot of them, they will end up hoovering you again trying to get you back. And it's because they're seeking validation. It's because of the shame they feel. And they're trying to resolve it. So they're seeking that validation from you. And a lot of times it's usually in a sexual way. It's like all they really want is just to have their asses beaten down. Because it validates them. It tells them they're not so bad. They're okay. It's like they just want to come back so you can put them over your knee and give them a spank. And then they can finally feel like they're okay. As though they're not such bad people after all. But again, unfortunately for these narcissists, they do have a lot of ego and pride. A lot of arrogance and audacity. So a lot of them know they're not going to come back to you. They're not going to put themselves in a position where they could be rejected or humiliated. Where you could get the last word, the last laugh. They're not going to give you that satisfaction over them. Because of that, the trauma, the pain is never resolved. And instead they just keep going on from one third relationship to the next, trying to find someone to replace you. They go looking for you in someone else. But they can never find a suitable replacement. And you may find on their social media, or you may even see it in person. But they're trying to replace you with someone who may even look just like you. Or they may try to turn someone else into you. Because they're trying to resolve this trauma, this pain. They're seeking this validation, but they really want it from you. And it could be subconsciously as well. They may not realize it on the surface. But yes, this is what they're looking for. And that's why those of you who did experience the narcissist Hoover, you will have seen for yourself how seductive they can be when they come back. It's like the sex is very different after the breakup. If you make up again. Now they want to try all different things, all different positions. And it seems to last a lot longer as well. Because they really want that validation that they never got. And they felt like they were bad. They did something wrong. So they just really want you to give it to them. And for some reason, yes, it does work. It seems that your validation, it does fill in some kind of gap, some thing that they were missing. Because deep down, they know what they did wrong to you. And that harmed them as well. It made them feel a lot of shame. And it's like they just need that reassurance, that confirmation that what they did wasn't so bad after all. And they get that by you still wanting them. Especially sexually. But it's not enough for them to just think that you still want them. They have to come back with the Hoover and actually engage in sexual activity with you for it to be resolved. Because otherwise what do they do? They just move on and try to find someone just like you. Or they try to turn someone into you. But it just doesn't resolve it that way. And some of them they may have been carrying past traumas with them as well from previous relationships. And that's why you may have found when you met them, everything was so fast. You had sex with them on a one night stand. Because they were just trying to resolve it with you, what they experienced with someone else before. But they had too much ego and pride to go back to them and have sex with them instead to try and process it. So they tried it with you maybe. And then what you may have found as well is that they stayed with you for a few weeks or a few months. They still went satisfied. They still had these insatiable desires. And then before you know it, they were back with their ex. They were going back to them again. So yes, this is what you will find with them, how they just jump back and forth between relationships and what they're really looking for is that validation. This is why the hoovers are so common. This is why on average a victim will be hoovered about seven times by a narcissist before it's finally all over. Because what they're seeking is this validation. And they will try to achieve it through sex. Because that's what tells them that they're okay. But of course, yes, if the narcissist you were dealing with had too much ego and pride. And as most of them do, they had too much fear of being rejected and humiliated. Or even of being exposed. These types of narcissists are pretty much screwed for life. Excuse the pun. But yes, there's not much they can do in that situation. They're never going to get that validation from you. And they're just going to carry that same pain and shame into every relationship they get into. And even genetically, it will be passed down to their children as well. And maybe their children's children and it just goes on and on. So yes, believe it or not, it's actually the ones who are more the most egotistical, defensive and resistant narcissist. They get it the worst in the end. They really do. Because they just can't let go of that pride and this false self-satisfaction. If they could let go of that, then maybe they would have a shot. They would be able to resolve it. But because they can't do that, then there's really not much they can do. And yes, they will just carry that pain and shame with them wherever they go. And it's just always going to be like that. So yes, it is sad. And despite what I've been through, yes, I do feel bad for them. But that's just the way it has to be for them. That's just how it is. And yes, they will go on and try to replace you. They will try and find you in someone else. But they will never actually find you. Or they'll try and turn you into someone else. Turn someone else into you, I mean. But it's never going to be the same. It's never going to give them that validation that they're looking for. Even though you will see them, they like to triangulate you with their new supply. And they flaunt it in your face. They put it up on social media. And they want you to see, oh, I'm so happy now with this new person. I'm living my best life. I'm having a great time without you. Well, that's just not the case at all. They want you to think that they want you to believe it. Because again, they're trying to get your validation. It always comes back to validation so that they can feel like they feel sane and okay. But they're not going to get the validation they're looking for by doing that. For some reason, it does appear to revolve around sex. And that's why when they, if they do who forgive, they will be very seductive. And they will want to have sex with you again. Like this makeup sex. Because that seems to resolve something for them. Whether able to process these emotions just by knowing that you want them. If you want them sexually and not just that, but you engage in sexual activity and you enjoy the act, you feel satisfied following it. Then they feel satisfied. Then they feel good about themselves. So yes, that's really it. It's crazy as it sounds that is the truth. But of course, it's very, very different for us as empaths. We don't even need to have sex with them at all or even see them ever again. Because we can process these emotions. We can go within ourselves and heal. But for them, yes, it's very different. And it's much better for them if they can come back and get you sexually involved and satisfied with them. If they can get that then, and if they have gotten that from you, you will have seen it already. It's like they're on top of the world. They've resolved that shame. Of course, that they may still have shame from past relationships or from their parents, their mother or their father. But sometimes it even seems to resolve that as well for them in relationships. The trauma that they experience from their parents, it seems to get resolved when they are sexually involved with someone too. So these are all important things to take into consideration. Of course, it is very different for us empaths. We don't tend to resolve these things sexually in relationships. I mean, some of us might, but it's just different. It's not the same. For narcissists, it is more that they have this emotional dependence which is resolved sexually through their victims. I'm not too sure why exactly, but it does just seem to process these emotions. It resolves something for them mentally. Yes, you will see that if they have engaged with you sexually again following the end of the relationship and they hoovered you, but otherwise, yes, if they do have too much ego and pride, then they will just move on and carry that pain and shame into the next relationship while still acting as though they live in their best life, as though they're so much happier without you when you should know that that is not the case at all. They're not happier without you. They're a lot worse, especially if there was no hoover attempt. If they didn't even try to come back, not even once, because you will know if you have experienced a hoover attempt already and you had that makeup sex, they really put a lot of energy and enthusiasm into it. They really go over the top and outdo themselves more than ever before for that validation. And yes, it can be quite an experience for you too, but you do need to be very careful, because that will only be in the beginning and then they will return to normal, to where they will return to abusing you, giving you the lies and the future faking. They will return to doing that again. So yes, you do need to be very cautious about that, but yes, I can understand it can be very tempting and enticing when they come back and they're so seductive, they're all over you. And if you do let them back in and you have sex with them again, then that can pose a threat to you and your sense of power and control over yourself. Because to do with the trove on and how they're letting them back in because you're seeking some form of validation from them and gives your power away to them, which they can then hold on over you as an advantage, which can then give them an influence over your behavior and even direct the course of events. So definitely these are things to take into consideration. If you are thinking about letting them back in, I'm not saying that it won't be sexually satisfying for you and that it may provide you with validation as well, but you have to consider the after effects and how it will quite possibly push you back because you may be desiring more a relationship, all of these things which they won't be able to give to you, they will only give you lies and future faking. So yes, be careful, be very careful. Remember they are seeking power and control. So when they're coming back with the seduction and the love bombing, that's what they're trying to do. They're trying to gain power and control over you and of course we should desire to empower ourselves. That's where our power comes from, validating ourselves instead of letting someone else validate us, which of course is what they want to do. They want to be the source of our influence and validation. They want to have power over us so it keeps us in a trauma bond. It keeps us attached to where our energy is constantly going to them because that's really it. That's how they get our energy. A lot of energy is transferred through sex. It may even feel like a soul tie, but yes, this is why the narcissist will never be happy, especially the ones who have too much ego and pride to even come back and hoover you. They're going to carry that pain and shame into their next relationship and they're just always going to be miserable. While as for you, yes, you may feel down in the beginning and that's completely normal, but with time you will be able to process those emotions and you will learn to validate yourself so things will be okay for you after some time, but for them it's just going to get worse. It's going to get worse and worse, but that's just how it goes for them. It doesn't have to be that way for you if you do the work, which of course is what I advise you all to do. So yeah, yes, that's it for this one. I'd just like to thank you all for watching and if you'd like to support our community you can give this video a thumbs up down below and let me know your thoughts as well in the comment section. I do read your comments every day, hit that subscribe button to receive the notifications for all of my future videos and if you'd like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me you can do that on my website at isnarksurvivor.co.uk and also check out my Instagram. 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