 You can't put your finger on it It's like you could be they could check all the boxes and ladies you've met men that have checked all the boxes And it's not chemistry There's a and you might have even thought you grew up an idyllic home and still Experience something where we're healing our childhood traumas. And so it's not a vibe. You're putting out It's an unhealthy place within yourself that needs healing and when you heal it, you no longer I I recognize it's the chemicals in my brain. That's telling me. She's the one. She's the one. She's the one But we also have spent oh We got quite a few. So let me go here, Nicole Question should I trust a man? Wait, should I trust a man is emotionally mature enough when he says he's afraid of making a mistake or letting me down Once I get to know him You could by the way if a man says that go great, you don't get my vagina until you know what you want That's simply it. You don't get my vagina until you know what I want You don't get my time. You don't get my energy You don't go anything if you're afraid of making a mistake if you're afraid of letting someone down Guess what go practice on some other woman. He goes homie. Don't play that game ladies Why men love bitches a bitch babe in total control of herself? Yes Would never accept that kind would never continue dating a guy who says that go you know what go practice on on the low-hanging fruit I'm too much of a sovereign woman to accept that kind of rhetoric That's just my opinion on that. Thank you Nicole. I appreciate that question Scorpio says Scorpio moon Question recently got dumped by a man who initially told me he was seeking marriage His reason after five months of dating was he only felt friendship with me not love not not wanting marriage So this is a tough one. I Was speaking to one of Connor's friends who's in his mid 20s Who okay? Those you know my son Connor passed away and he was seeking my advice on something had been dating a woman for about five Or six months someone he really liked Um She was perfect. I mean she was getting her master's degree. She was very attractive Good family and I'll check all the boxes, but after about three months into the relationship. He said to me I'm just not feeling it. I'm just not feeling it I go yeah, I get it and he's like I go give it a little more time and and and by the way They weren't sexual with one another he they she was a virgin. So he she wasn't you know Connor's friend wasn't sexual with her He was being a very much a gentleman Wasn't forcing it. I mean they did fool around a bit But after about the fourth or fifth month he comes to me and says I'm just not feeling this love and You know, he he ended the relationship. I mean he's in 26 He wasn't in his 40s or 50s like most of my audience and I think to myself You know, and then I called him this happened months ago And I called him up recently because I told him about my new relationship and I said, you know this feeling this euphoric feeling of love is an Intangible you can't put your finger on it It's like you could be they could check all the boxes and ladies you've met men that have checked all the boxes And it's not chemistry. There's them. There's an energetic connection When you meet someone that really touches your heart, it's beyond lust or limerence. I shot a video on this couple days ago about When it's right for a man he feels calm Because that's what I'm experiencing. I'm experiencing this level a unique level of calm Although I'm going through a lot of alliterations of stuff. There's an adjustment period going on right now I'm noticing it's hard to withdraw from the dating apps I mean believe me when you were practically addicted to the swiping. It's like going cold turkey It's like I'm feeling this this withdrawal. I mean, I know Cognitively why would I want to go on the app? But I mean, it's just such a habit to swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe So I do believe there's a detox period that people go through but I'm going off subject here But I was telling them Look, you can't predict love. It's just an intangible. So coming back to your question I don't think this man did anything wrong It's just a reality as we can't predict Genuine love it takes time for some people. They feel it early for some time for some people that builds over time So great question Scorpio moon. Thank you so much question Thank you for all you do by the way. Thank you. I appreciate that Nikki What factors causes a woman to attract an unavailable man i.e. emotionally unavailable married etc What vibe she may be putting out? So it's not about the vibe. She's putting out. It's about her unhealed traumas Most by the way, you have to read the book getting the love you want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt Okay district link below for all the books. I recommend this helps you understand the amago the imaging We follow patternsing. It's oftentimes it's a it's a reflection of one or both of your parents who are unavailable And you might have even thought you grew up an idyllic home and still Experience something where we're healing our childhood traumas. And so it's not a vibe. You're putting out It's an unhealthy place within yourself that needs healing and when you heal it You no longer attract it. So the vibe is your unhealed wound. This is why again I recommend reading the Hoffman process to really do a deep dive into healing stuff And so I'm sorry. It's it takes monumental work folks. I've been at this for 15 years Healing my shit. I've been and the last five years has been a deep dive. It's it takes time to heal your stuff So Get busy living or get busy healing That's my invitation get busy Get busy dying or get busy healing. I'm sorry. I was thinking get busy living get busy dying Get busy dying get busy healing get busy healing or get busy dying By the way, if anyone can guess the movie I'm talking about I'd like to hear that comment Nikki, I hope that helps but you asked a great question Thank you so scorpio. Where did I go wrong? We waited three months to have sex again It's it's an intangible Sometimes men think that the sex men believe sex will lead to love. Okay Men believe sex will lead to love And The reality is is sometimes even when you've had sexual experience with someone we don't feel it I you didn't do anything wrong. So I invite you to ask three questions. Okay, scorpio moon What positive things did you learn about yourself in this relationship? What positive things did you learn about yourself in this relationship? What was good about this relationship? And what are you most grateful for I invite you to write that in the comments I want to share that with everybody what positive things you learned about yourself in this relationship What was good and what are you most grateful for by the way can folks? Can you tell me why those are three powerful questions to ask yourself because If you want to heal You can focus on what's wrong. You can be a victim. I'm a victim. I'm a victim. I'm a victim. I'm a victim Or you can be a victor A victor is a person A babe in total control of herself. She's a victor. This woman lives in victor consciousness not victim consciousness All right, great question. Thank or great follow-up. Thank you so much. All right ks Question if a man is confused as to whether to commit to you after several months, does that mean Doesn't love you enough for a long term you know So you all know right now I've met someone and I'm in absolute la la land I I recognize it's the chemicals in my brain. That's telling me she's the one. She's the one. She's the one But we also have spent almost now roughly 75 85 hours face to face time and gosh, we probably have spent Oh my god, we probably have spent 50 60 hours on FaceTime as well And our FaceTime conversations are really dip rich and deep in Well, okay, so I have a confession to make so she calls me complicated Because I like to unpack everything And I am by the way amongst my friends. I am constantly unpacking stuff. So I can be a bit exhausting But she also says it's one of the aspects of my personality that she likes So I like unpacking all the little nooks and crannies of our relationship I wouldn't do this if I didn't think there was real potential I wouldn't invest emotional intimacy with a person Because look at getting laid is easy ladies. You make it so easy for men to get laid that it I mean, it's the I'm sorry to say the three-day rule. I mean is the norm What matters most is beyond that It's that when a man has had sex with you and he still wants more not just sex But he wants he wants to spend time with you. He wants to explore. He wants to introduce you to his friends. He wants to He wants to even build a life with you It's a feeling you can't describe I'm experiencing a feeling I can't describe. It's like I could be delusional. I could be absolutely delusional here. This may blow up in my face for all I know I might sabotage it by being so ridiculously Complex, I don't know But you know what's best? Life is a fucking journey. You know what like why not suck the bone marrow out of life? Why not Squeeze that that orange and let it just drip all over your face and enjoy all the good the bad and even sometimes the ugly because guess what Now I believe that we come back and do this over and over again So but make the most out of it. So what if you had a bad relationship? So what if the guy ghosted you so what if those things? Ask yourself what positive things did you learn about this in in this relationship? What was good? And what are you most grateful for? I Invite you to attract an amazing partner in your life right now. I invite you to attract that in god universe spirit I invite an amazing person in my life. It is reigning great people in my life those types of people where we have amazing Connection with one another and chemistry one another and we have that ability to communicate endlessly for hours and hours at a time and the banter Could just be lively and fun and just continuing without stopping and I invite that level of our ability to Blend our lives together and that we share the same values and we can build the deep roots of trust and I invite that in god universe spirit It's my invitation for you Shift your narrative from all the negativity because guess what just like the guys in the jacuzzi. I was talking about earlier There are a lot of good men out there and just need your Guiding light to get them into their heart. This is why I recommend reading this book If you really want to connect with your heart read the book the untethered soul by michael singer and only read one chapter a day Don't read more than one chapter a day. It's too. It's too powerful to take in all at once I highly recommend reading these books. I highly recommend Oh my god If you want to change your life Read the book if the Buddha dated one of my all-time favorites because it throws out the bullshit gender rhetoric and starts You don't need to worry about your feminine energy. You worry about your empowered energy into a relationship And that's my invitation for you All right, you know me I go on my rants here