 That was gross. Yeah, I agree. Let's not be in that room anymore. I would like to not be in most of these rooms anymore. They're all bad. Welcome to Guest Quest, the fast-paced adventure where you need to use your quick thinking and some lucky rules of the dice to get through an adventure that I have created. Today's guest is, of course, Kyle Sullivan. Yay. How are you doing, Kyle? I am doing good. Thank you. You're going good. I'm doing good. Good start. Well, I'm glad to have you at your house having me host a show for you at your home. Me too. Thanks for being here. That's supposed to be what you say. I'm glad to be here. Thanks for being here as well. I, as the Game Master, will present you with a scenario and a goal that you must complete only using what you have, which is nothing and dice, or other things, maybe. If you find yourself truly out of options and out of luck, you have a selection of three wishes, which you may make at any point. However, if you make a wish, increasingly bad curses will be applied to you. Some of them may create problems even worse than the ones you are currently trying to solve with the wish. That being said, not all is bad. You do have a selection of one of four blessings to aid you in your quest. After I read all of them, you have to pick one in 10 seconds, or I will randomly roll for one. Are you ready to hear your blessings? Yep, yep, yep. Once I read them, there's no going back. I'm already feeling pressure and we haven't even started doing it. All right. The blessings are as follows. You have limited access to the great value dimension. You are a master of origami, a very finely made Hawaiian shirt. You walk on water. There's no turning it off. Walmart, for great value. I'm going great, I have great value. You have selected. You have limited access to the great value dimension. I miss the limited access thing. The countryside that you call home has been terrorized by a great and vile dragon known as Cyril the Scarred. Since we're starting this off, let's start off with something classic. Sure. An actual dungeon and an actual dragon. Okay. How does that sound? Cyril resides in a long forsaken dwarven stronghold far to the east with his legion of cobalt servants. Cyril's influence has never quite reached your small village until recently when both people and livestock have been stolen away in the dead of night. Additionally, a few nights ago, your father's old sword was taken from a spot above the mantle place. Enough is enough. Someone has to do something about this dragon and it might as well be you. What have you been doing to prepare for this mighty adventure? You have a home. With things in it, presumably. Yes. You can describe to me what you have. Well, I assume I'd be putting together a pack, an adventuring pack of all the essentials. Probably a nice satchel of something. What do you think you'd bring with you? Probably some kind of, probably get some kind of cooking pot just to have on the road. That's reasonable. A few food rations. Sure. After that, I will probably have some great value brand granola bars all the steps in there. We'll see. As well as great value brand toilet paper. We'll have to see what the great value dimension blesses you. How do I choose things from the great value dimension? Would you like to invoke the power of the great value dimension? Yeah, I'd like to test it out real quick to see how it works. With a wave of a hand, before your very eyes, a shimmering light appears and a tear in reality forms. You hear the sound of music whispering through the winds. Do you reach into the great value dimension? Yes, yes, I do. Roll. Right. 19. You reach into the great value dimension. Your hand's shaking. You feel conditioned air blowing past your arm. And after a while of stumbling around, you managed to pull out a large hiking bag. Okay. That's better than I expected. It appears to be empty, but of great value condition. Cool. I'm gonna pull a lot of stuff. I will stuff as much stuff as I can than just all basic essentials, some tools, maybe some like, I don't know, like a hammer or something. What profession do you think you would have in this town? Probably some kind of artisan, something woodworking. Woodworking? Do woodworking, furniture. I make furniture. Okay, so you would have some woodworking tools. You would have some maybe scrap wood around. Here's the thing. You're about to go take on a dragon. So you know, taking on a dragon by yourself practically suicide. Taking on your dragon with a trusted cohort. Practically a confirmed success. However, all of your trusted cohorts were kidnapped by said dragon. Oh no. You do know of a place where wandering adventurers tend to stay nights. A place known as Johnny Two Clubs Tavern. If you're one place in the entire town. It is the one place in the entire town. That's where you go in the evening. Additionally, there is a general store nearby known as Bartleby's Pack Mule. If you're interested in any other supplies that you probably don't have on you now, the choice is yours before you head out. Okay, I can only do one. Oh no, you can pick both. Okay. Yeah, I'll head to the store and just see if there's something. I assume I have like tools and stuff and I'll see if there's something like actually meant to be a weapon there. So I'll say you have tools and you have an amount of gold from your woodworking. Okay. It's not a lot, but it's probably enough to get some essentials and maybe hire an adventurer. Okay. So you head to the general store. It's quite nice. Nothing compared to the great value dimension of course. It's a general store. It has a lot of things that you would normally just kind of find everywhere. Mostly farming and hunting tools, considering this is mostly on farming and hunting village. However, you can see some essentials, like pythons, like cliff climbing gear, some rope. The important thing with any great adventure is getting some decent shoes. So I'll take a look at the boots. So a lot of them are handmade by people you probably know in town. A lot of them are, they're not like, oh, this is the greatest boot ever, but they're meant to be sturdy. So there's very decent boots that you can buy. Okay. You buy some good boots. I will write down that you bought some good boots. Okay. I will go check out the blacksmith though. I'll see if he has anything pre-made that maybe isn't sold yet. So the blacksmith, you can kind of hear him hammering away in the middle of town. And as you approach, you see he's working on some nails for a new construction project. He turns to greet you and kind of dusts his hands and says, can I help you with anything? Yes, I am going to go slay a dragon. And I was wondering if you have anything that would do that for about $5. Well, slaying a dragon is a mighty task. And I don't think I have anything specifically for that. But I'd be a fool if I didn't always have a couple of short swords in stock. That would be good. That would be something. He turns around and goes back into the actual store portion. And he brings back a reasonably made short sword. It actually has a little sheath and everything too. It seems like adult service. It doesn't lay them at the fall apart. No, I'm not going to Jimmy John's or whatever it is that's over there. I think you mean Johnny Two Clubs Tavern. Right. Johnny Two Clubs Tavern is the only tavern in town because it's a very small town. However, once in a while, you do notice strange figures walking in and out of there. Adventures from a foreign land perhaps. Walking in, it's dead. It is the middle of the afternoon after all and there's not really anyone here. Most of the people are out working the land or out not being at a tavern at 2 p.m. You do notice two people in the tavern that don't look like they're from around here. You see a very tall and lanky figure who's wearing a full face mask and very fancy traveling clothes. And you see another quite short figure in the corner who seems to be sewing a repair on their robe. Sorry, what did you say the first one was doing? There's a very tall figure who's in a full face mask. They have very fancy traveling clothes and they're actually currently strumming a strange stringed instrument that is on the table before them. I mean, they're wearing a mask and playing an instrument. I don't know how I can turn them down. I'll go greet them. They say, hello, I am Jubilee, a traveling bard. How can I help you today, find sir? I just, I heard your music is quite nice. Oh, thank you. It's always nice to find an appreciation, the appreciator of the arts out in these parts. Do you do anything aside from playing music? Anything more dragon killy? Dragon killy. Yes. I don't think I've actually slain a dragon, at least not recently. No, that's a joke. I've never slain a dragon. Why are you looking for someone to kill a dragon? Someone to help. I'm gonna go kill a dragon and I figure it'd be easier with the second person. That is enticing. However, I will require a little bit of money to buy supplies before we head out. If you are interested. I have exactly a little bit of money. Fine, I'll join you and try to slay this dragon. I hope that I can aid you well. And Jubilee stands up to their full like seven foot height, gives you a gracious bow, takes a little bit of gold that you have, and runs to the general store. Okay. And then they run back. Okay. I'm ready whenever you are. I guess, I guess I'll head out now before it gets too dark. All right, you did a little bit of research before embarking to slay this dragon and you know of two routes to possibly get to him. There is, of course, the old dwarven forges that were constructed long ago. You're not quite sure what lays in there, but it may lead to a back entrance to his cave. You also know of the kobold caverns themselves, which are filled with kobolds. Ah. The kobolds directly serve him. If you go through those caverns, they're probably gonna warn him that you're coming. Dwarven Forge sounds like there might be stuff in there to grab too, so I think I'll probably take that route. It's very possible. I'm sure there's also other horrible things inside there, but. The mountain looms closer and closer with each day that you travel. Your rations are starting to run slightly low, but you reach the foot of the mountain that contains the dwarven stronghold, and, of course, Cyril the Scarred. You see kind of a large looming entranceway carved out of stone itself. The years have not been kind to this place. It's crumbling, there's lots of vines and kind of foliage just kind of covering it up, but you can walk way in without a harm. I will check the Great Value Dimension before entering just to see if I can. You wish to invoke the Great Value Dimension again? If I find anything. Invoke away. I have a limited number of times I can do this. We'll have to see. 19, again. Once again, you invoke upon the powers of the Great Value Dimension, a shimmering light and a blast of refrigerated air blows past you. You reach in and you kind of fumble around, and after a while you pull out, it's kind of stuck and, oh, oh, oh, it's gummy bears. You have a packet of gummy bears. You know what, no complaints. You proceed onward. The room itself is dark, it's cold, you just hear strange dripping liquids all around you. You're eating gummy bears too. This room is falling apart before you, like actually literally. The ground is falling apart in front of you. Statues of dwarven's long gone are collapsing and cave again. You can see an entry. There's an exit. There's an exit on the far end of the hall. However, the floor is actually caving away as you're walking on it. Okay, I will attempt to run as fast as possible towards the. All right, roll to run as fast as possible. Okay, 15, that's fine. You run pretty fast. You step on some pretty sharp stones. However, you've got some good boots. I do. They get a little torn up running over there. Jubilee, of course, is quite fit and acrobatic, so they manage to keep pace with you as they're running along, and you reach the end of the hallway. You hear a thunderous crashing from behind you as all of these statues of dwarves long past just cave in. You might need to find a different way out. After the great hallway that you entered through earlier, you find yourself kind of in a smaller passageway. It's a bit winding as well. You see several doorways leading off to the left and right. A bunch of identical doorways? Is there any indication of anything being? They're not completely identical. There does seem to be some markings and dwarves that kind of say maybe what this hallway is leading to. Okay. Do you think you speak Dwarvish? I do. I speak Dwarvish. I don't know. Do you speak Dwarvish? I guess I wouldn't specifically have a reason to be able to do that. I believe you do not speak Dwarvish. Does my friend speak or read Dwarvish? So Jubilee is examining one of the kind of doorways leading to another hallway, and they're kind of, you know, thumbing their mask and trying to consider what they're seeing right here. After a while they speak up, and I think I know enough Dwarvish to piece together what these doorways might lead to. I believe this one leads to an old infirmary of sorts. That one over there. I don't want ancient Dwarven diseases. I'll stay out of that one. Sounds like a wonderful idea. That one over there leads to a living quarters of sorts. Well, I guess we can go check out the living quarters and see if there's anything useful in there. So you enter a hallway with several doors kind of leading into small individual rooms. Roll me a perception to see what you see. 13. So you kind of peek ahead into each room and see if you can find anything interesting. A lot of them are in severe states of disrepair and severe states of, like, decay. There's really not anything that you find that you could probably pick up and use. There is a doorway at the far end that appears to lead to a very large room. It's massive, actually, in scale. You see kind of giant chains reaching up to the ceiling and they're all hooked to something. It looks like a giant, like, cylinder of sorts. The ground before you is also oddly, like, indented. I'm gonna go stand directly under it and look straight up. Stand directly under it. So you go to stand directly under the cylinder and you look straight up. You hear a click and your foot kind of sinks into the ground a little bit and the chains start going ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. It starts tipping over and you see a very red liquid begin to pour out of it. I see. What do you do? I will leave. Also, you have 15 seconds to decide what to do. I will leave. So you go to leave. There's a lot more red liquid also pouring out of the sides of the indent. No. So you're kind of in what appears to be a very large casting basin. Um... Jubilee is preparing a rope to throw down to you. Okay. They're trying as quickly as possible to tie a knot that you can rub onto. Um... I will use a wish. Would you like to use your first wish? Yes. Okay. What do you wish for? Mmm... I'm thinking wings. Thinking wings. Wings sprout out of your back. Luckily, the spirits are in good humor today. They're not exactly great wings, however. Like pigeon wings. Dragon fly wings kind of go out of your back. Okay. This, of course, means you are cursed. Let's see what you're cursed with. A giant bug is flying around and distracting you. It seems to have been... It's me. I am the giant bug. Well, it seems to have been attracted both by the glowing orange liquid and by the sound of your wings. It flies in kind of from the side and starts hovering around you in circles. Oh, wow. What do you do? The lava is getting closer. I'm going to try to fly at least over the lava and also, I guess, do this a little bit. Roll to fly and do that. Two. So the thing about giant bugs that fly around and distract you is that they're very loud and especially if it's like a jubilee bug. It's like smacking into you. Seeing this, jubilee is like, this is horrible. An attempt to lasso you with a rope. Okay. Attempts is the word we're going with here. Please help. I don't know what I'm doing. They attempt to lasso you with the rope. The rope lands on some of the glowing orange liquid. But it is currently between you and them. So you might be able to grab onto it. Somebody Minecraft flashbacks right now. So you're flying this bug, smacking off of you. You grab onto the rope. It's currently burning. I attempt to grab the rope. You grab onto the rope. It's currently kind of burning, but on the other end, you managed to pull yourself out of this weird casting basin. However, the rope is spent at this point. The rope is gone. Jubilee just kind of looks at the burnt end that they're holding and throws the rest of it into the lava. Nice wings. That bug is annoying. We should kill it. By the way, your hands are a little bit scorched. You've lost one health. Oh no. Out of six. Okay. What are you about to do about this bug, though? It seems to be approaching you. It doesn't look happy. Is it? How big is it? It's giant. So it's about this big. Okay. I have a sword, right? Yeah. I'll try to cleave the bug in half. All right. The bugs are flying at you. Try to cleave the bug. Okay. 14. That's enough to cleave a bug. Okay. You swing at this bug. It's like, it's all of your nightmares of eating out of a nice restaurant that's ruined by an insect just multiplied by 10, except for in an old Dwarven building. You managed to cleave it pretty good. Some bug juice starts spraying out of it onto your clothing, but it falls into the glowing goo. Let's get out of this room before it continues to fill up with orange liquid. Yep. Let's leave. Jubilee starts running towards the other end of the hallway. Well, the chamber. Is there another door other than the one we came in? There is one kind of at the far end of it. Okay. You proceed through the old casting chamber and you approach what you believe is a combination storage room and an actual forge itself, like a proper forge. You see large anvils and kind of furnaces and smelters in this room. They look very old and very like just dilapidated as everything else is in this place. There are boxes here and there that are actually in okay condition. They're mostly made of metal and stone. Can I try to open some of the boxes? You can if you would like to. Okay. Yeah. I want to open the boxes. You approach one of the boxes. It's like very large. It's made out of flat like stone and the edges are actually made of like riveted metal. The lid looks like it's going to be quite difficult to pry off. Do you think you have anything to actually open it? It's not like locked or anything. It's just heavy. It's not locked. It's just, it's heavy and it has like a latch. Okay. The latch can be open. However, the lid itself is like meant for someone probably much stronger than you. But I brought, let's try to think of like a, like some kind of tool I may have brought with me. You did say you brought some woodworking tools. I brought woodworking tools. Yeah. You might have something to pry it open, maybe like a chisel of sorts. It would give you a little bit of leverage. Sure. Yeah. I think something like a chisel or just like the back end of the hammer or whatever I can probably try to use. Roll it. All right. And Jubilee's going to roll as well. So. I got a one. Jubilee attempts to assist you in opening this up. You shove a woodworking chisel into it, which immediately snaps in half. Some splinters are in your hands. You're not hurt though, but it's just annoying. Jubilee starts laughing. You don't have much time to enjoy the merriment of the situation as a hammer flies past both of your heads and clatters against the wall. When you turn around, a lot of tools are actually floating. You can look for a tool laying around me. We're in a parking lot. Sorry, go ahead. You can roll to see what you see if you would like to perceive the tools that are floating. Or I'll see if I notice something controlling it to three. Jubilee's also going to check. Okay. I appreciate that. They're also not sure. All right. However, tools normally don't float by themselves. No. There might be something spooky going on here. Several tools fly towards you. I tend to open up a portal to a Walmart so they fly into Walmart instead. Sure, invoke. As a shield. Invoke the great value dimension for me. Important to you. So you open up the great value dimension. You feel your grasp on it starting to wane slightly, but you managed to open it up. It's there, it's shimmering. Refrigerated air is blasting out once again and a tool goes flying right into it. You hear two shelves fall over. You also hear someone angrily screaming from both outside the great value dimension and inside. Outside you hear, get out of this forge. It's ours. No one should be in here as more tools kind of harmlessly fly past you. I'll yell back and say, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I'm just passing through. I'm trying on my way to see somebody. I will be out of your hair as fast as possible if you can show me the way out. A hammer kind of pauses before being thrown and then kind of falls into a restful position. Are you an invisible man? I'm not invisible, I'm just dead. The exit's over there. Be on your way and leave me in peace. Okay. Can you open these boxes at all or do you need the things in there? All right, I have another one. Another hammer flies at you. So do you just start running? I will run for the... All right, you book it. Can I grab anything on the way out? Like if I pass by anything that I can just like... See what you see? It's like a crowbar or something just in case this happens again. God damn it. I got one. Okay, so you're running, you trip and fall on some like sharp stone that's sticking out. One of your boots is just torn off. Oh, no, my boots. Jubilee runs, notices that you falls and then grabs your arm and starts just pulling you as hard as they can. You barely manage to get out of the hallway. You're kind of cut up and scratched. You take a damage. Jubilee looks like they're out of breath at this point. I will mourn the loss of left boots. Left boot is gone. Rest in peace, left boot. You not only have right boot and a bare left foot. As you step, you hear clunk, slap, clunk, slap. Just comfort of finely made boot and cold of old dwarven stone. You realize the chamber that you're standing in is very oddly designed. It's very round. There's the ruins of a large table stretched out before you and there's several, several, several seats that kind of surround it. More noticeably though, there was a large metal figure on the table that's kind of looks like possibly is what broke it. It is currently unmoving. However, it is vaguely the shape of a humanoid with a large metal weapon slammed into the table. Does it look like the figure has anything else invaluable on it that would be easy to remove or to get close enough? You don't see anything loose on it. The thing itself appears to be made of metal entirely. It's not wearing metal armor. Sure. The sword it's holding is probably too large for you, but that's the only thing that you see that's separate from it. Okay. I guess I will try to sneak around the outside of the room and just try to get to the door without being particularly loud or noticeable, just in case this totally definitely frozen thing decides to not be that anymore. Well, let's sneak then. Okay. With your one-on-one. My one-on-one. I would remove the other boot and put it in my bag so I just have bare feet. Okay then. Four. So the following happens. Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, thumb. You kind of kick your foot into a stone chair that was toppled over. I actually do that all the time. And then jubilee bumps into the back of you and goes, ugh. And then you hear a horrible metal noise as the large metal figure next to you slowly starts raising the blade out of the table and then its head turns to face you. Wait. I am here to fix the boiler. Can you tell me where to find the owner of this building? Roll to lie to a golem. Okay. Five. The boiler has been long since removed and it starts to swing. But no one told me that. All right, I'm gonna leave. What do you do? You are now in combat with this thing. It's big and it's made of metal. I'll try to fly out of the way because I still have my wings. You do still have your bug wings. Start to fly. Okay, do I roll for flying out of the way? Yes, because you're currently like kind of in a dangerous situation. Okay. It's kind of maneuvering. 17. Okay. I think there's not a giant insect that harassing you. So you start up, you're hovering a little bit, you start dodging, you're successfully dodging these like giant walking swings that this creature has. It's slow at least. It's slow, it's rusted. It looks like it hasn't been maintained very well. Jubilee's kind of like running behind it and like pointing towards the back entrance and like starting to run there. Do I see any weak points on the thing? Yes, actually. Since you're kind of flying with your wings and you're a little bit above it, every time that it swings in the back of it, you can see a hole kind of in the metal. I'll try to go around the back of it and I guess try to like jam my sword just into the back and see if that does something. Sure, yeah, give it a shot. All right. You have maneuverability on your side. 13. You kind of try to fly around it like narrowly dodging another like upward swing. You try to plunge your short sword into this strange like hole in the back of this golem and it just kind of scrapes along the side and it kind of like dings off. What else do I have on me? I have tools I have. So as you're sitting there pondering this, the golem starts reaching back to kind of grab you as you're currently kind of plastered up against it. Can I open up the Walmart dimension inside of it? Attempt to invoke the great value dimension. Three. You are a frequent buyer. However, recently we've noticed a lot of damage to our premises and we believe that it might have been caused by you with an incident with an angry dwarven ghost. Your membership to the great value dimension has been suspended temporarily. Oh, this is bad timing. You're running out of time. This golem is about to like grab you. Like metal hands are closing in. I will drop and then I will run. Okay. So you just stop hovering with your wings. You just plummet. The golem misses. Like hitting the brakes in the car kind of thing. The golem's gonna see if it's gonna miss. Okay. Golem misses. Yay. It just clamps its hands and drops. All right, I'm falling. With two wet slaps. Why are my feet so crouched? You've been running around a lot. I don't know. You start running. Okay. You start running to the exit. The golem turns and looks at you and grabs its sword and it's gonna start running towards you. Small enough to fit through the door. It's not too small to fit in this hallway that you're in now. What's that at the end of the hallway? What do I see? What am I going towards? The hallway kind of like crumbles, but there's rubble moving up to an opening. I guess I'll just go. Are you just gonna try to? Yeah, I mean it was slow before, so I'll try to get to the rubble and... Roll me to run. Okay. Three. The golem doesn't roll a three. Doesn't do much better though. So it runs and then it kind of like clambers onto the edge of the doorway that you went in. You run to the rubble and you're like trying to climb up it and it's like really awkward and it starts shifting down. And like you're having a similar problem. Like this is like loose rubble. Can I, my wings aren't super strong, but I try to like hover us a little bit over it just so we're having to climb less and... Give it a shot. Just sort of float more. Let's see how that goes. It's nine. So it's much easier than just trying to climb up it itself because you're not putting as much pressure on the rocks. However it's slow going and the golem is gonna try to bust through that door and get to you. You're running out of time. Okay. The golem isn't doing great though. Okay. As it kind of punches its arm through the wall, but it doesn't get all the way through. As we keep going towards the top, I'm gonna yell up towards the top and just hopefully just, hey, is anyone up there? We could use some help just in case there happens to be somebody listening to me right now. So you yell towards the top of this hole. Three scaled heads kind of peek down to the hole and look at you weirdly. And one of them kind of turns to the other two and goes, I don't even think they're there. In a weird language. And then they ready their spears to throw down at you. I'm here to fix the boiler. Roll to lie to the cobalts. 14. They pause like an inch before releasing these spears. And they kind of look at you and you look like a handyman. And then they look at Jubilee, who doesn't look anything like a handyman. And then the golem is gonna try to bust through the wall again. The golem's stuck in the wall. This is just a weird hallway right now. And the cobalts look at the golem and they look at you. And then they kind of connect the dots. And they're gonna start throwing spears now. What do you do? Press a shot. I think, I don't know what it's gonna be yet, but I think I might need to use a wish. All right. Time freezes. What do you want to wish for? You currently have a golem charging after you. You are barely holding Jubilee over this pile of rubble that you're climbing up. And there are at least three cobalts looking at you with very sharp spears I might add. I think the biggest problem right now is that I suck. Just in general. I wish I was much stronger and faster. I wish I was the greatest. I wish I was a knight. I wish I was a knight. I wish I was a knight. I don't know what that means, but I wish I was a trained knight. So you pray with your heart of hearts, imagining heroes of old, knights on horseback charging in a battle. They didn't have to deal with golems and caves or cobalts throwing spears at them. Exactly. Maybe they had to deal with this. I'm terrible at this and I wish I was someone who was better. So you have this image in your mind of knights in shining armor. And suddenly your essence begins to change itself. You feel much more chivalrous, much more proud, much more tall, much better with a blade. And armor begins to form around you. You become, in your mind's eye, a knight in shining armor. A knight in shining armor is a very heavy thing, however. So you kind of zzz. And also, you are cursed. You cannot gain your wish unless you sing it into existence. With musical accompaniment, by Jubilee. All right. Oh, I wish I didn't suck. I wish I were a knight, a true hero of the land. Someone who could climb. That's it, you're late. I wish I were a knight. A very odd scene starts occurring on this lift up to this hole. This is a nightmare. You start to- I'd like to request to replace my drink with something of a stronger place. So you start climbing up. You start singing. This shining armor starts forming around you. You plummet to the ground, more so than you already were. However, you feel a lot more sturdy, a lot more brave, a lot more strong. The cobalt's noticed this and go, okay, I have no idea what's going on. And there's spears kind of, like, slide off of your armor that has formed around you. The golem is still mad, but you've kind of made it to the top of the hole, and now you have three coals kind of like looking at you holding spears at the end of their arms. I will draw my sword, I will say, take me to the dragon, or I will cut you all down right here. Roll it for me. 20, natural 20. They believe you. Yeah. Let me see how well the golem's doing by the way. Okay. Better. Okay, good. I'd love to someone- The cobalt's believe that. And they kind of like shirk back a little bit, and they start trembling a little bit, and they start nodding, like, okay, sure, okay, sure, whatever you say. And you just hear, from behind you, but they start leading you off deeper. It's Jubilee, okay, you got help. Jubilee's fine. All right. Jubilee has been finding God through this whole experience. You're being led along by this trio of cobalts who are kind of shuddering because they just saw someone transform into a literal knight in shining armor. And they're kind of leading you to the end of this like cave. It looks like this is the back of just some natural cave that formed in this mountain. It doesn't look like this was ever supposed to be part of the Dwarven Stronghold. Thank you for your assistance. They kind of like start, scatter, they just scatter. Like right when you say that, they're done. Okay, I guess I will venture in. So as you kind of like stoop down, you feel like a hand on your shoulder is Jubilee like, we should be quiet. If this truly leads to the dragon's lair, we might have the element of surprise on him. Fair enough, I will attempt to stealth forward in my newly obtained full suit of armor. The good news is your feet are covered. The bad news is your feet are covered with metal, but give it a shot. Jubilee, do you have anything that would help with the stealth? Yes, actually. As ironic as it sounds, I know a song of silence. Playing it will create a sort of white noise that will encompass us and keep us quite much more silent. Jubilee kind of pulls out this strange, like it looks like a trapezoid. Like it's a wooden trapezoid with strings across it. And they start kind of plinking at it. And at first you hear the strings, but eventually like the strings kind of bleed away into nothing. And you just hear like kind of a fuzz emanating around you. It's a very surreal experience because you have to stoop down to kind of get into this cave and your arms scrape against the wall, but you don't hear the scrape. You feel it, you definitely feel it, but it's just silent. You peek through the opening and before you is a mountain of treasure. More riches than you've seen in your entire life, perched on top of it is a massive red scaled behemoth of a dragon. Okay. Looking the other way, the entire room is well lit. In fact, there's like a hole in the roof that's leading natural light in. You can hear voices and a large like kind of roaring voice as the dragon appears to be speaking to some of its subjects, which are of course more cobalts. At the far end, on the other end of the cave, there seems to be another like smaller cave. And you can see what almost looks like pages of sorts kind of set up in rows. So the dragon is on top of the treasure pile? Like just kind of like basking in it. Are there any other platforms that are higher than the area the treasure pile is sitting on? So there's a few like on the walls of the cave itself, it's shaped like big kind of circle with an opening at the top. There are little cliffs that kind of jut out here and there that you could possibly get on. Okay. It would take some climbing. Aside from that, there's no like built platforms. There's the treasure pile. There's the few like kind of caves. And like near the top of the cave, there's like rocks that are kind of sticking down. Okay. But that's like- No obvious way out. There's a hole in the top. Oh, well the other end where the cages are, there's like another small cave. That's the only other like exit. Does it look like I can get to the cages without moving into the line of sight of the dragon? Roll to see what you see. Okay. 20. Going to the left, you will be spotted. No doubt about it. The cobalts will see you, the dragon will see you. It'll be a mess. It'll be embarrassing. You showed up with the wrong suit of armor. To the right, however, there are some plants that are growing kind of from the opening and basking in the light and kind of, they cast a shadow in that area. There's a few larger bits of treasure too that you could possibly go behind. It looks like a paintball arena almost. It's just there's pieces of like larger like wealthy furniture kind of up. There's some plants hanging down on them and there's some stones that are kind of in the way. It looks like you could possibly weave a path that way all the way almost to where the cages are. And at this point, Jubilee is like gesturing kind of more frantically. The song is ending soon. Okay. It would be risky. Well, nothing isn't, so I will try that. That's a good way of playing it. You kind of start to hear strings return to the world and Jubilee stops. You are 20 meters away or meters deep? It's far enough away to where you, if you've made a mad dash, you can make it there very quickly but you'd be very loud. Okay. You kind of get a look at this dragon and the cobalt as the dragon is just horrendously scarred and just screaming insults at the cobalt for something. You can't really figure out what. Now that I'm closer to the cages, can I see if any of the captives are there? It looks like a lot of people have been kidnapped. There's some people that you recognize from your village. All right, I have a plan. Jubilee turns and says, I'm all ears. Well, my other plans haven't been great so far so I can't necessarily speak to the quality of this one but I have a plan. Our trick was really cool. The giant bug was horrible. Don't do that again. Please tell me that's not your plan. No, no. My, okay, so my plan requires that you, Jubilee, stealthily unlock those cages and get those people out while I make a large boisterous distraction for everybody else in the room. I can see the other cave entrance from here. Yes. No. Does it look like it goes anywhere? You're pretty confident you know where that cave goes. It was the other entrance that you could have taken. That's the cobalt burrows. Probably does go out. It does, it would lead to an exit. All right, get them all out of the cages, give them hidden, just kind of off to the side, ready to leave and then on my queue, take them all and book it out of that cave as fast as possible. You'll know the signal when you see it. Yeah, all right, I'll give it a shot. You guys, you will have a better chance of getting out than I will. Do you want me to come back after I send everyone on their way? If it works out the way I'm planning, you will not be able to. All right, I trust you. I appreciate your help. They kind of like do the- Pro five. Yeah, they do like the classic like muscle. So they're gonna start sneaking out. There's a lot of things going on in this room. The dragons are yelling and screaming and like you started to piece together what it is. Apparently, there's a golem that's been charging through a bunch of caves. Very mad that that's happening. Not sure why that's happening. It seems to be a recent development too. Yeah, no, I don't know where that would've come from. Golems, am I right? Just, just, I swear. Jubilee starts sneaking, very poorly. So here's what happens. Step, step, step, trip, slap. Just a loud noise. You gotta just hear the room turn to look at this essentially rug of a person who's laying right there. Do they see me? They don't see you. You probably have about like five seconds before everyone stops being stunned. Okay, I need to get on top of the platform. You are in front of some rocks. Okay, I'm gonna climb on top of the rocks. Okay, I'm not gonna make you roll for it. It's easy to just hoist yourself up. Fear of the scourge. What? I have come to challenge you to a fight. Kill him, kill him, kill both of them. The cobalt's turn. If it's a fight you want, you must know I don't fight fair. I mean, if you do that, everybody's just gonna make fun of you though. He coughs after hearing that. I mean, come on, look at me. I'm like here with like full armor. I got a sword and everything. You're just in a bunch of lizards after me. Like that's pretty lame dude. Everyone kind of stops when they hear this. You're making some good points. Zero kind of haunches down their face. Gets like real, well close is a relative thing. They're very large, you see. They get kind of close and you can feel the intensity of their gaze. What are your conditions? I request a wager. A wager. I would like my compatriots and your captives to be released. If I don't win, you can eat all of us. I'm glad you didn't try to beat around that bush. Fine, what contest? I mean, look at me, I'm a knight. I got a sword and I'm gonna fight you. Very well. Well, hold on, hold on. You know, like, oh, you put your money on the table. Let's get the group, like, over there ready to go and then we'll fight for them and then whoever wins gets to take them and do what they want. They're all locked up in cages. I mean, I don't want to win with that. If I do win, I don't want to unlock the cages. Unlock the cages, unlock, everyone get out. Go unlock the cages and take care of the gold. Just addressing, like, different groups of cobalds. The small group kind of in front of you. They walk over, they start, like, like fumbling with just a huge ring of keys. Like, it's a massive ring of keys. This is exactly what I'm talking about. I don't have to deal with that after I kill you. They start unlocking the various cages and they're, the prisoners are still, like, manacled up. Sure. Like, they're in, kind of, loose. I would expect to put them in a situation where they can, you know, obviously escape while we're fighting or anything, that would be. They bring them in, kind of, sort of a big pile. There's probably, like, 50 people that were in all these cages. Okay. They're all brought together and they're, kind of, like, put in a little, like, the cobalds are standing there with their spears to keep them in place. Okay. And there's a lot of cobalds. So, people are all out? They're all out of cages. There are cobalds surrounding them? Yes. I'm on my rock. You're on your rock. The dragon is indeed on his massive pile of treasure. There's a lot of things in that treasure. Okay. I wish all the treasure was lava. Are you sure? Yes. There's a lot of treasure, Kyle? I know. That's a lot of lava. Yes. The massive pile of treasure, including your father's sword, trying to save lives here, turns into lava before your very eyes. Let's discuss the consequences before we discuss what truly happens. Okay. All humanoid creatures look like nightmare monsters. So, the following happens. You stand, you gesture your nightly armor shining. I wish the treasure was lava. Splish. Serial sakes down like maybe 50 feet into what used to be treasure. They don't seem like they're that uncomfortable. The cobalds are freaking out and just are running. The people, well, the horrible nightmare creatures that the cobalds used to be surrounding. I have a question about that. Yes. They look either way only to me or to everyone. It just says all humanoid creatures look like nightmare monsters. The cobalds, sorry, the horrible demons that are surrounding other horrible demons that are much taller start freaking out and running away. Another question. Am I included in the humanoid figures? I would like to follow up then with a bow down to me for I am Satan and your time has come. Roll to lie. 15. You, Kyle the demonic knight, shout up into the sky that you are here for Serial's soul. Serial believes you. If it was just for that lie and not for everything else that currently happened in that one second, probably wouldn't have believed you. You haven't quite ever heard a dragon shriek in terror before. It's a very fun noise. Serial starts backing up in this sloshing pool of lava that everyone is starting to run away from because it's starting to pour towards all of the cobalds and people who are just running into the caves. I told him to book it. Jubilee takes that as the signal. They start booking it. The dragon is just backing up into the corner. The lava isn't affecting them that much. They are being a fire after all. That's, yeah. They're more taking psychological damage from this than fire damage. What do you do? I will call on the powers of Walmart one last time and hope that maybe they will reinstate my frequent fire's card. As all things begin, it all will end. Invoke the power of the great value dimension. This is either gonna be a great death or a great escape, we'll see what happens. That's boring, that's an 11. You open it up. Ah, a new customer. We can get you signed up right away. They don't recognize you as you are a horrible demon and night armor. Applicants to our great value membership are able to receive one free product. What can we help you with today? The lava is slowly rising. You can start to feel the heat kind of on the, like the metal is burning your legs. Actually, would it be all right if I used your bathroom? Role diplomacy. 17. Of course. Right this way, sir. I'm gonna step inside the portal, please. You step into the wonderfully air-conditioned splendor that is the great value dimension. Feels real good right now. Tall, oaken shelves filled with goods of every variety stretch out for miles in front of you. The air chimes with lovely music. A horrible demon stands before you and says, right this way, valued customer. And you can see a sign glowing in the distance with magic-fail lights that says restrooms. The sound of shrieks running and more shrieks slowly die off. You can use the restroom if you want to. I will, I will do so. Well, I'd like to renew my car probably because I'm gonna be able to have some access to this in the future, so. Of course, yeah. What's your name? Sir Kyle of Hell, I suppose. Sir Kyle of Hell, is that the cold one or the hot one? The hot one, definitely the hot one. And what is your occupation? Demon Knights. Okay, okay. Once we have you all signed up, where can we return you to? My house would be great. They hand you over a shiny new premium membership card. Oh good, thank you. And they open up a portal. The green fields of Birchfall stretch out before you. You leave a shiny new great value membership in hand. You turn and you don't see anyone because they're probably about two days out. But you know, you did a good thing. I did, I thought. You may not have left with your father's sword. You may not have killed a dragon. But now you and everyone you know and love are horrible Nightmare's creatures. And in the end, isn't that all that matters? I mean it is now. So Kyle. Yes. How did you enjoy your adventure here today? The esteemed customer and great value membership holder. It was wild, it was a wild time. Yeah, lots of things happened. There were twists, there were turns, there was drama, there was romance, there was action. My plan did not work at the end. Of course while you're here, is there anything that you're working on that you'd like to talk about? Well, this is only one of many D&D videos for tabletop RPG themes, things to come on this channel. So be sure to stick around and watch the rest of it. We also have a brand new shirt up that says I Denounce You and it's over in Joey's face at Suleiman and you can get that on dftba.com. So be sure to check out that link in the description. And we'll be putting up I think a poll along with this video for the next shirts. So check out the I Denounce You t-shirt and also vote on the shirt you would like next. And we will have that up next month. And also, I need blessings. I need blessings to put these horrible, horrible people through and to inflict them with at the start of each episode. If you have any blessings in mind, write them in the comments. I'll look through them. Thanks for being here. Thanks for participating. Glad I could contribute to the world. Thanks for watching everyone. We'll see you next time.