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I've fallen and I can't get up!

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Published on Feb 8, 2012

Stay right there, Mrs. Fletcher! We'll send help right away!

(Good thing Mrs. Fletcher had Life Alert Emergency Service! Otherwise she'd be in big trouble. Dehydration can cause death within 24 hours, not to mention the sheer dicomfort from being unable to move and without a soft cushion or cover. It's a mess! Add to it the dicomfort of your own human waste piling up, and no chance to do anything but think about the sheer pain of it all. Not a pretty way to go!

So go and get your beeper from Life Alert. Then all you have to do in an emergency is press the red button, and a nice man at the call center will respond and send you help. They can also call your children, unless they don't give a shit, then that's out. So anyway, you're much better off with that wonderful panic button around your neck. So call the toll free number right now and tell them that asshole from Yout Tuibe sent you!

Ciao, darlings! You look MAAAHVELOUS!

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