 the great gilder sleeve a special rebroadcast for all your soldiers sailors and marines of the united nations listen to another amazing episode in the life of the great gilder sleeve let's join the great gilder sleeve he's already tried three times to get his old friend judge hooker on the telephone hello judge about time you got up you don't be right away will you i'll tell you what it's about when you get here i'll tell you what it's about when you get here do laura's delray is suing me for breach of promise all right oh so that's what he thinks oh uncle mortis you're really going to sue you after all well i'm afraid so children she realizes that a public trial will probably ruin my career and she's using it to shake some money out of me are there really women like that i'll say you know nothing about it i'll thank you to remember that if you hear anybody discussing this case you too marjorie okay whatever we know about this we'll keep it on a little family understand yes sir i get out of here so i can be along with judge hooker you mean go skating no i mean go write your letters there's the judge listen hooker take a look at this what is it the fella handed to me last night i'll just get my glasses on here oh take your time judge it's just a man's good name and reputation at stake that's all now let's see what have we here mm-hmm mm-hmm well wellfully and with intent to deceive all seems in good order well gildy do you know what this means no judge what you're being sued ye gods i don't need a lawyer to tell me that judge what am i going to do about it that's what i want to know now in the first place you have to file an answer look judge you told me yourself only one week ago that the woman has no case how about that well that was my personal opinion gildy i merely gave it to you for what it was worth well for what it's worth you can have it back furthermore i was evidently not in possession of all of the facts at the time if the charges here are true oh what do you mean is it true as it says here that you and the plaintiff discussed the question of marriage well i told her she ought to get married answer yes or no yes but i was proposing she should marry you and you know that maybe i do and maybe i don't is it true that following the aforementioned discussion of marriage you kissed the plaintiff none of your business gildy i'm your lawyer and i have to know well i never would have kissed her by knowing she was going to be a plaintiff but you did kiss her well when a lady throws her arms around you and hollers kiss me what are you going to do you got to be polite that's bad you propose to the lady she should marry someone else and then you seal it with a kiss it'll never stand up in court well that's what happened what am i going to do Horace is to get hold of her lawyer Waldo Barker Waldo Barker what kind of a lawyer is he well they call him weeping Waldo good man in front of a jury i'll call him in the morning you call him right now but gildy you get a hold of him tell him we'll be right over there meet my client Mr. Gildersleeve Gildersleeve eh well i've heard a lot about you Mr. Gildersleeve yes sir i've heard a lot it's a pleasure to meet you i wish i could say the same well it's some time since i've had the pleasure of opposing you in court judge yes too you lawyers thicker than thieves last time was in the Anthony cases i remember it involved a dog yes yes one of the best witnesses i ever had said nothing and did as he was told i won that case as i remember miscarriage of justice and then we oppose each other again in fadkin versus some of the enlightened power remember manhole cover i'll never forget it i won that case too if you recall another miscarriage judge didn't you ever win the case look gentlemen i don't like to interrupt your chummy reminiscences but we've got a lawsuit here remember now guilty all in good time the law has many fascinating angles mr. gildersleeve and one of the most fascinating is breach of promise you recall the case of bohak versus gains judge no i can't say that i do i'm not up on breach of promise oh five well the point of issue there was whether a cider jug thrown in the heat of argument but without intent to name or kill constitute an appropriate termination of contract to marry i don't need to remind you that the woman one i might point out however consular that the facts are a little different in this case oh i quite agree i merely mentioned it because it was interesting no no no this is an open and shut case if i ever saw one hey now that we're not prepared to admit in fact the whole thing is nothing but a frame up consular and you know it now gilding now now now commissioner let's not get excited feelings you you're a man of some reputation in this town and a thing like this can be very embarrassing it might even cost you your career not to mention the cost of defending a long drawn-out suit in court what it doesn't need to get to court oh what do you mean well if they're handled in the proper way these things can be settled out of court how much well i haven't consulted my client but i would imagine that a settlement of five thousand dollars five thousand well you're getting off cheap i think you ought to consider it guilty listen you old goat what did i hire you for you're supposed to be my lawyer and as your lawyer i advise you to settle the case very sound judge you lawyers make me sick always getting together to cut up somebody else's money i take it then that you don't intend to settle settle i'll fight this case to the finish i'll fight it all the way to supreme court and back i'll fight this case if i have to handle it myself gilder slave will be with us again in just a few seconds back to poor old gilder slave he spent the afternoon in the public library reading the law on breach of promise and studying the rules of court procedure until he's completely confused on both of those subjects a supper of fried oysters baked beans and dill pickles lies none too comfortably on his stomach as we find him now fitfully dozing on the couch in his parlor dozing and dreaming let all transgressors be bought to the bar pay the penalty demanded by the law for this afternoon's trial that celebrated star of bar ladies and gentlemen first case delray versus gilder slave he is the court stenographer ready yes your honor plaintiff's council ready yes your honor dependent's council ready uh i'm handling my own case your honor you are the opening statement for the plaintiff mr. barger your honor ends the jury this is an action in breach of promise instituted in behalf of the plaintiff mr. lorries delray whom you see sitting there before you and by the way did anyone ever look lovelier lovely lovely i shall prove to you before this trial is over that this little flower this tender blossom who sits here bathed in the view of her tears has been the victim of this designing monster objection overall witness it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you at this time the little lady yourself mr. lorries delray not the jury i'd like to have you meet judge hofstetter i think i meet you some place before judge no could be you don't happen to know kitty maclure do you but she's one of my best friend well what do you know say what are you doing after object what oh objection sustained the court is out of order you're telling me attorney for the prosecution will continue with the witness and is delray we know how painful all this must be to you but i'm going to ask you to try to recall for the jury is it not true that this man here mr. gilda sleeve was at one time very dear to you and trusting she came to him wide-eyed like a child to him it was just another conquest but to her to her it was the flowering of true love the meaning lies within that one word love for it's written whole poems about it to ask you only one question is it not true that mr. gilda sleeve on various occasions made to you protestations of undying affection is it not true that he begged you to marry him is it not true that he subsequently spurned you in a cruel and unusual manner and so gentlemen i rest my case help the lady down from the stand there somebody not any defense i certainly have your honor i should like to introduce first the testimony of an old and trusted servant who's been in my employee for many years miss birdie lee coggins birdie i'm right up there birdie yeah that's it now will you tell these people what kind of an employer i've been birdie mr. gilda sleeve is a fine man yeah that's it tell him some more he's a fine man that's all may i ask to witness a question no certainly go right ahead did you ever see mr. gilda sleeve in a tater tate with miss delray mr. gilda sleeve is a fine man answer the question he's a fine if it leaves the court the witness refuses to answer the questions put to her answer the gentleman's question did you ever find them embracing i still say he's a fine man i'll be cited for contempt of court i'm talking about the court i'm talking about mr. gilda sleeve and he's a fine witness has obvious sleep in coast that's a lie my next witness ladies and gentlemen is well known to summer field miss eve goodwin principal of our local grammar school tell him the kind of fellow i am eve all right drop your honor mr. gilda sleeve is a very high-minded man devoted to the public welfare he's shown his loyalty to the community by his long service as water commissioner and as a member of the school board i've always known him to be honest upright kind and good yeah there tie that mr. biker if that's all you want from this witness well who could ask for anything more you want to cross question mr. biker just two questions your honor miss goodwin were you ever engaged to marry mr. gilda sleeve yes i was did he marry you no he didn't that's all i object this wasn't the same kind of a situation have you any more witnesses mr. gilda sleeve yeah yes i'd like to call an old friend and neighbor to say a few words at this time mrs. lila rance you'll step up to the witness stand please lila must i smile at the jury throck morn i'm afraid you'll have to do more than that leave it to me well good morning judge tell me are you related to any of the virginia hofstead is by any chance nope oh proceed with the case mrs. rance how long have you known me well let me see throck morn it must be about two and a half years i remember because that was the fall cousin alley had a baby he's the same age as cindy louis child and cindy louis child is two and a half oh great you've known me two and a half years yes in all that time have you ever known me to do a dishonorable thing gracious i should say not why throck morn is the soul of honor and ridiculous all the things they're saying about him here throck morn wouldn't hurt a flower he may go around kissing everybody but he doesn't mean anything by well the witness please address the jury the jury oh y'all can come this is here i give up your witness parker mrs. ranson were you ever engaged to marry mr. gilda sleep why yes i was did he marry you no he didn't but that's all i object objection of a rule and do for you this afternoon peavey just get up there on the witness stand and tell the truth will you peavey now you're a drugist here in summerfield are you not a pharmacist mr. gilda sleep all right then a pharmacist i come into your store quite frequently do i not well objection defendant is leading the witness sustained you can't put words on the witness mouth mr. gilda sleep just ask him questions oh sorry judge i'm a little new at this time well peavey am i a customer of yours yes you are mr. gilda sleep fine now how often do i come into your store is that all right your honor yes that's all right how often does he come into your store peavey that's a question he was in yesterday yes but how often do i come in hard to say would you say he comes in once a month well some months he does would you say i come in once a week some week yes does he ever come in more than once a day some days yes well come found it then he comes into your store quite frequently doesn't he wouldn't say that let it go peavey now look do you remember my talking to you about mr. delray that's all i believe i do great did you ever hear me say anything about marrying her marrying her yeah marrying her yes not did i remember all right in your opinion he's nothing but a woman chaser well no i wouldn't say that by george peavey as a matter of fact i'm indifferent to women am i not wouldn't say that peavey you're the world's worst witness no no i wouldn't say that i give up your witness parker i pass well any more witnesses for the defense i guess not your honor i guess i'm through is that all well you've got no case whatsoever gilda sleave but your honor i never thought of marrying this woman nobody has proved i after to marry me your honor may i recall mr. delray to the stand go ahead and now mr. delray you say mr. gilda sleave asked you to marry him oh yes he certainly did do you recall the words in which he proposed to you uh-huh yes i recall him very well would you mind repeating them please no not at all exactly as he said them yes sir yes sir best of me best of me much i object that's nothing but a song i intend to show your honor that defendant gilda sleave offered marriage to my client in the course of the song mr. gilda sleave did you sing this song to mr. delray well yes then you'll hold your peace until she's had her say uh proceed mr. delray oh thank you judge you're so kind proceed best of me that means kiss me it's spanish proceed best of me much that means that kiss me plenty it does not proceed each time i cling to your kiss i hear music divide now i ask you if the defendant said that it's just a song quiet uh this is a musical treat the court seldom enjoys then kiss me you too yeah me my darling and say that you'll always be mine uh i i don't like to interrupt the court's pleasure but i wish to call particular attention to that last phrase hold me my darling and say that you'll always be mine there's the whole thing in a nutshell let the lady sing this joy is something new my arms and folding you never knew this thrill before thought i'd be holding you close to me whispering it's you i adore lovely and they call this justice dearest one if you should leave me could leave me all of my dreams court's attention well i don't know how you fellas feel about it in the jury but that's enough for me what how about it boys have you reached the verdict wait wait well what is it you wish to say you fiend in human form i want a lawyer sorry you've had your chance all right gentlemen you may give your verdict no no glad to see you that case listen that's just what i got to talk to you about i've just been through it i mean i had a dream i mean something tells me never mind we've got to settle it judge do anything but settle it but you can't settle it now gildy he'll double the ante he'll make a ten thousand instead of five no gildy we'll do it your way what do you mean i'm going to fight that's the stuff yes by golly they can't scare me i'll carry this case all the way to the supreme court i'll fight this thing through to the finish if it takes every cent you've got well still that's less than five thousand dollars oh what is it why don't you marry the girl why not i better sleep on it good night everybody