 Welcome to Dare to Dream, this is Debbie Daschinger and yet another episode in my 12 plus years of doing radio and podcasts. My question to you is, where's your visibility? Out into the world, that's what I do. And what I know about what I do and what's interesting about what I do and probably about what you do is, hmm, originally there was a core wound for me around visibility. And isn't it fascinating that it would be in my soul's DNA that it's the very thing I disseminate out into the world. So how I do that is I am a book writing coach, it's such a mouthful to say that. I help you write your darn book is really what I'm saying. And I help you turn it into a page turner. Just got a new client yesterday that I'm super excited about and his story that he's going to tell out into the world. And so I do privates, I do groups around writing your book. So I've got a company that guarantees your book fully done for you goes to international bestseller. Just got a great testimony from a lawyer that I've been working with, somebody very prominent who's been on CNN and he wrote me this beautiful testimony thanking me for the launch I just did for him last week. He said that it buoyed him so much. He's getting a lot of television interviews. He's going to Wall Street Journal bestseller now it bumped up his number so much. It's so it's good and gooder. I love hearing success stories like that. And the final piece that I deliver around visibility is about you being interviewed because if you have a business and a message, you must want to be visible because being visible means your tribe gets to find you. So I teach the ultimate visibility program. It's a formula. Everybody who goes through it is successful in fact while they're going through the program they start being interviewed in real time. And so we're going to be rolling out a new class, go to ultimate visibility formula that's located debbid.net slash visibility. And I'm going to also share a little behind the scenes and hopefully more with my guests today because that is our subject to Joran. That's precisely where I'm starting here. You know, I was very aware of the wounds I had and very aware of the irony and the perfection of how I would start where I did having this difficulty about aligning myself fully with being heard and seen. I want to be really clear starting from the time I was terribly young. I mean really young. I was on stage. I was an actress and a singer for the majority of my life until I had a change 12 years ago and radio and books and being on stage in a different way took over. But what I want you to know is concurrent with my feeling most at home in front of a camera and a microphone and being on stage in a spotlight concurrent with that with these terribly awkward belittling thoughts that I live with all the time which drum beat mantra said over and over is you are not worthy. You don't belong here. No one wants to hear you. And boy doesn't that make it awkward then when you're trying to speak to people because you're constantly judging yourself and saying nobody really wants to hear what I'm saying and I'm saying things at the same time. Not good. So lots of healing I've had to do over the years, over the many years so that it became clear that it's incumbent on me to take the mic and the spotlight. And I got just another piece last week was Rhythmia and you know you've heard the people who run Rhythmia on the show and a really huge piece that I got at Rhythmia that really surprised me. You know Rhythmia you set intentions before you drink the plant medicine. I got so darn tired of setting intentions I went out to the shop and I thought oh heck just anything that's in the way let me know about it so we can get it out of the way and I could beat all that I came here to be. And some people would say yikes be careful what you wish for but you know I love playing big. I have to say pain sucks I'm not about pain I really am not in fact I'll run the other way into the light so it's like whatever it is bring it and boy did they grandmother medicine was not messing around and she showed me a big one not going to share it in this interview because it'll be off topic but I want to say it was huge I work with a shaman because it was so big I needed some some love and help from the universe and the outside and they were a hundred percent right there with me and boy the gestalt of releasing that from my system something I had buried so deep away but when it was all done this is sort of very perfect for my personality and all the gestalt was over I looked up at the shaman and said guess what I teach out in the world visibility we just were roaring with laughter he was so appreciative that I have this quirky personality that could go from total tears to hilarious laughter all in the same moment but I knew in that moment I had taken a split part of me back and tied the side of myself fully healed and then I was going to be able to show up even more prominently serving people in the spotlight as well as helping you to become more visible so to that end I just want to thank you for joining me in the show every week and thank you so much for your comments I read all of them and you know I answer you back because I love you for letting me know how the guests and how this show affects you and the things you're creating I also want to thank Dr. Dane here and Access Consciousness for sponsoring the show they do tremendous energy work out into the world anywhere in the world any country you can find them Dr. Dane here H-E-E-R as well as access consciousness calm and also this show has been nominated for two people's podcast choice awards if you love this show and I suggest you do leave us a review subscribe so it comes right into your inbox you don't even have to look for it if you want to subscribe just a few places you can go to so it's really easy we're in at least 40 different outlets some of the mage ones I can name are Apple and Google podcasts Spreaker YouTube BBS radio Pandora iHeart radio leave a review and thank you so much for being a part of the Dare to Dream team so visibility what if you could release those core wounds those triggers those patterns that have been keeping you from the success you desire what if you could actually have the inner freedom and the success the peace that you so desire my guest today is Patrick Dominguez he's here to talk about the visibility wounds banishing the fear of being seen and I might add to that also being heard because a personal development is something that you're in and hey you're my tribe so clearly it is what you do all the time inner growth but maybe you're throwing money at books maybe you're throwing money at workshops maybe you're feeling something in the interim and walking away and in the long-term going nothing's really working well he's going to share his inner freedom process Patrick is also the co-founder of the big shift working with business owners around the world and growing their impact and he developed a revolutionary inner freedom process based on 10 years of working with entrepreneurs and leaders as well as his own transformational journey at wisdom 2.0 Patrick takes you through a four-step method so you can have a continuous experience of self-love peace and feeling secure from the inside rather than perpetually seeking it on the outside his website to learn more is innerfreedomprocess.com my friend Patrick it is so great to have you welcome to dear to dream hello Debbie and hello everybody it's so fantastic to be here well I met you at a summit that we were at together together and we immediately connected and I'm so grateful now for knowing you and I was gifted by you with this process we had an experience so I appreciate I'm able to talk to the audience also from the point of view I have had a session so I've got an idea but for those who don't know what it is what is inner freedom process and if you don't mind a little backstory how did it even come about yeah so yeah let's definitely start with the backstory so so I've been building a coaching business for the last 10 years with my business partner Bill Barron and you know we've built this coaching business up to a business doing almost five million dollars in revenue a year and working with clients all over the world change agents and people doing good in the world entrepreneurs but people always think oh you were able to build that sort of business there must be something you know very special or unique about you but what a lot of people don't know is when I first started coaching it was a lot like other coaches where I was kind of scrambling to get clients you know my goal was just to have you know a handful of clients to start working with and it was a very humble beginning and how long was it humble for way too long I would say for a year or two was very very humble and the thing is when you know when I started out probably like most coaches I know this is what we advise our coaches you know the advice that coaches and other you know transformational agents usually get is if you want to get clients if you want to be able to help people in the world you have to go out and get in front of people right and that's big I just want to as an aside that is so big because so many people don't they don't want to go to networking they don't want to speak on stage they don't want to go maybe they'll go to events and participate but the other stuff that has to do with visibility is off their list yeah and you know so for me I came to coaching after having worked in the corporate world and basically working for other companies for 16 years and so visibility wasn't really a thing you know if you're an employee of larger companies or even smaller companies usually it might be the head or the leadership of the company that has what you might really think of his visibility and so that wasn't really in my background to be visible or to cultivate a brand you know maybe I present something at a meeting but wasn't really like being visible as you know Patrick Dominguez.com or something so so when I shifted from mostly really just being invisible as a you know member of a company maybe visible to my team but not visible to the public and so when it came to being visible to a wider public that's a completely different animal. Yeah I think you shared with me that at some point while you were working with Bill it became incumbent upon you to get up on stage and when you share a little bit about what happened in your space about speaking from stage. Oh god yeah so so you know so the conventional wisdom if you're building a coaching business or a you know transformation oriented business a healing business is speak in front of people right because then you get to present yourself as an expert right you get to educate people and when they learn about what you do then they're interested in talking to you more and possibly working with you hiring you and so this is pretty common wisdom however for me I was you know scared to death of actually getting on a stage and speaking in front of people and just like really terrified at the idea and so basically had been avoiding it and of course there's the cost of avoiding that right if you're avoiding it then you're not in front of people and you're not really generating business and you're not doing what you want to be doing right so that's kind of where I was was mostly not getting that many clients because I was you know not really visible and so Bill and I decided let's have an event so we decided to have an event called the big shift experience and the first year we had 60 people come and it was a two-day event and we had divided things up Bill was going to present some sessions I was going to present some sessions and when it was my turn oh man I was just sweating so much and I'm not like someone who really sweats that much even when I go to the gym I don't sweat that much but when I was on that stage I was just sweating bullets my shirt got so soaked I had to get a different shirt at the event you know close enough in color probably people didn't notice like there was some costume change or something but and then you know I used to be the sort of person where everything had to be scripted out line by line but then it's hard to remember everything so then I'm forgetting what I was supposed to say in the middle of my session and so forth and it was pretty it was a pretty miserable experience I you know I I think I did not do a great job you know Bill tried to pat me on the back and my business partner and say oh you know you did fine and so forth but I was like I think I dragged the event down and and mainly I was feeling after that kind of like PTSD like I kind of I kind of never want to do that again and you're such a good person like you're really such a good human that I can imagine you must have really taken the weight of that upon yourself like way more than an average person oh yeah I was apologizing to Bill multiple times like I'm sorry for dragging the event down I'm sorry you know I'm glad thank you for being you know such a rock and doing so great and compensating for me doing such a horrible job there and and even though he tried to like say yeah you know you did fine and so forth I'm like no I know I didn't I think objectively like it was not great you know so wasn't even just being hard on myself and so so we decided a year later let's do the big shift experience again and I was in charge of all the marketing for the event and you know it's crazy because our business was growing at the time and so we had double the number of people come the next year so we had 120 people and so you know Debbie created the situation where basically the more people were signing up the more I was dreading going to the event and so you know the worst thing you could do in your business is create something that you're dreading you know so it's kind weird situation where I was in charge of it I love the event concept right the big shift experience helping people experience big shifts like right then and there at the event but like the closer we got the more people were signing up the more I'm like oh this is gonna be horrible it's gonna be twice as many people as last year which normally like if you're running a marketing department excited they're like people like you know home run like you know we rocked it and so that that's when I said okay you know I just don't want to have a business where I'm seriously dreading like our biggest event of the year you know that just there's something about that just seem fundamentally wrong yeah so you know intimately what it's like to have a visibility wound clearly you work through it I know you've come to the other side you don't have to sweat through shirts anymore you don't have to dread like manifest and then dread what you're manifesting at the same time I know you've come very very far so I actually like that you know what it's like to have a visibility wound because I just feel for the work I do out in the world it's important that I know what my clients go through and I feel that when I'm gonna hire someone so where did inner freedom process come from is it something you culled from different modalities is it something that was a download for you yeah so so this inner freedom work started with things like me healing my own or at the time it was finding people who could help me heal this visibility wound this fear of being visible and I hired you know eight different people you know all sorts of healers coaches experts to try to help me and ultimately when it when it worked and when I was able to go to one of our events to go on stage just feel comfortable and ultimately free like free to be me free to say what I want to say and not be afraid of what's going to happen I thought wow this is such a powerful transformation and then in working you know I've coached hundreds of entrepreneurs and it's very common people have visibility wounds or other sorts of wounds holding them back in their businesses and so I just got very passionate about not only how do I help you know because coaching in a lot of ways is about helping someone get from A to B you know they're here they don't really want to be here they want to be there and so coaching tends to be mostly what are the action steps I need to take to get from where I am to where I want to go but that's the action steps the strategies and so forth the tactics are only one half of the picture the other half of the picture is well what's going inside of you on that journey and you know what by definition if you're doing something ambitious if you're stepping out of your comfort zone there's going to be resistance right ambitious goals and resistance go together and so the question is what are you doing to work with the resistance or the fear or the inner blocks that come up and so as a coach myself and I could see this was typical in the coaching world is most coaches you know we're pretty good are really good at helping people move forward with action steps but then when people stuff would come up coaches want to kind of avoid that shy away from that they're like oh how can I help this client move forward without having to get into this messy stuff and I got to the point where I realize if I can't help a client with the quote unquote messier stuff or the stuff that comes up then there's a lot of people that are just going to stay stuck and I'm not really helping yes I am so supporting what you're saying and pleased to hear you say this this is exactly why I do what I do with my clients it is inner and out of work there is no way I can teach anybody the technical strategy I can get them booked on shows but there's something up I have found even with people who are massively successful seemingly on the outside that everybody's got their ceiling and there's a place they get to where stuff comes up of course you and I know it comes up to be healed it's actually a gift but it's very uncomfortable when you're in it because you're aware of it but not how to actuate it out into the world like okay I'm hitting the ceiling this sucks I don't want to be here I'm aware it's here but I don't know how to access this and make it into something that works for it for me to transform it to heal this piece that's holding me back so this is huge so around visibility there are core wounds and they operate for people on in different places and spaces and they all look quite different what are the signs what signs do you know exist that people might hear you talk about right now where they can say oh I have that one or I have that one yeah so by the way in my work with people I have a system where there's five different types of wounds that interfere with people's ability to make progress in business also in love and in other pursuits in their life so there's these five core wounds and one of them is a visibility wound and there's four other ones actually but just talking about the visibility wound so along with the visibility wound there's usually fear of failure fear of feeling like a fraud fear of being found out of fear of not being good enough or feeling like they're not good enough but I would say especially like to me the hallmark of the visibility wound is a feeling of if I'm visible then blank and I just want to encourage people who are listening right now to us just you know if someone's listening to this right now there's there's a decent chance they're aware of a visibility one for themselves and so give us some blanks so if I'm visible then well first if you're listening just think see what's the first thing that comes up right if I'm visible then blank what happens okay can I give you a really weird one yeah so like while you're talking I had something pop up and I'm like wow I had no idea this is one I've been aware of for so long and stymied by okay but I'm letting it rip so one of my goals I've actually shared this with you one of my biggest values is world travel and I have traveled even since I'm a kid you know I've gone lots of places but compared to my heart's desire oh nothing like what I really want to travel the world and I've been well aware for the longest time the thing that holds me back is this pervasive concern for myself traveling the world alone or to another country as a woman I'm keeping it real as a woman alone I don't and I've always wondered is it the news that concerns me is it what is it that I'm so worried about like who's going to take me as a hostage you know and put me on television with a bag over my head it's like it's sort of crazy but it's so real and while you were talking I felt there's something about visibility here because it's also a strange thought that me out of maybe 50,000 people let's say every day who go to whatever let's say I'm Spain I want to go to Spain and it's true I'm arriving there 50,000 other people are arriving the same day why me why would something even befall me why would somebody be in the airport going her right but this is something about being visible going somewhere and being seen and heard in an environment that somehow somewhere even for a person like me who was traveling from the time I was like five years old that there's suddenly this unsafety factor isn't that fascinating yes yes and so appreciating that you're sharing this in front of an audience Debbie and this like what just came up for you and by the way what are you feeling in your body in terms of like emotions or sensations just as this is arising okay major sensations like the energy right now is huge pouring through me top to bottom top to bottom and out every side in a really good way I don't know about feelings but it's like suddenly something turned a light on inside of me and the light had tremendous energy and it's like whoa what an awareness that's fascinating so that sounds like your response to the whatever is coming up but was there like a fear you know that came up related to the idea of traveling yeah I would say that concern is a is a fear yeah if I take my logic out of it because my logic's all over like what it's but that's where I've been residing anyway and then I want to create on top of it now let's go travel anyway yeah so this is great because you know you're so evolved right you've done so much work you immediately start turning this into you know hey there's a life lesson here and you know we're gonna go travel and you know find these silver lining to this and so forth but I always say is before you overlay all you know the the self-coaching and you know the sort of the positive let's how can we take this in a positive direction when people do that by the way I just say like it's very evolved to do that like instantaneously that's amazing that you can do that but when people do that they're missing out on the gold I always tell people before we bypass that too much rewind and come back to what was there that primal energy because that's the doorway to something really valuable and I in my work with clients I call it the treasure map because the stuff that comes up people usually want to just shove it into the corner like let's just push that out of the way because I'm really just trying to move towards the goal here and when I'm working with clients I'll tell them no that stuff that comes up that's the gold right that's perhaps your life mission is to transform or to shine a light on this part of you and usually people will spend their entire lives avoiding shining a light on a particular aspect of their psyche and when they do that's actually the thing that's going to unlock them or unleash them the most duly noted and very true because getting out of the feeling the feeling is where the nugget where the transformation can happen and I yes concur yeah and so you were asking me you know how do I do this inner freedom work so the first step is when someone has something that's very triggering very reacting that doesn't make sense as you said what you know why should you have such a strong reaction to traveling when on your own when you've been traveling since you're five you're a veteran traveler and you're adventurous in many areas of life anything that doesn't make sense and there's a strong trigger and a strong reaction that's the doorway to some you know obviously some powerful healing but something that's going to open up like some really new you know possibilities for people and so that's why I like to start with a question we kind of got there from the question if I'm visible then blank right so when I'm working with clients who have a visibility wound that's one of the first questions to ask is if I'm if you are visible then blank what will happen and usually something pops right out for people and generally speaking it's in the category of then someone's going to hurt me I'm going to get hurt in some way so good I just like really being with what you said yeah and what we know is if we have a sense about that that's real then why would we take that action if being hurt is the result so your process then because that's I'm feeling that right now strongly as I said that hilarious thing about someone putting a bag over my head and putting me on television but at the same time illogically there is I think I've seen and the funny thing is I don't really watch news I'm very careful about what I allow into my space but I have seen enough little snippets that it has made an impression okay so what do you do next with your client so next we so when we enter there's something going on there's a wound present then the next step is to find out where it started okay so to find the origin or the root cause okay that's where the action is okay then we're we're lifting up the rock and saying where did it start and you know this is the part a lot of people don't do right which is where did this all come from and if you don't do that then oftentimes it's the the work is more surface you know like oh I'm feeling this you know fear of being visible you know I'm going to listen to some guided meditations or I'm going to read a book on you know how to overcome that and so forth but really if you want to transform the deepest wounds then you need to shine a light there and when I do that with people you know oftentimes there can be a little bit of a resistance or reluctance like what's down there in the basement it's kind of like the movie Inception did you see the movie Inception I did yeah so there's a so there's a scene where Leo de Caprio finds he goes down this elevator into the basement and finds his wife there and basically the camera what happened if he wasn't able to save his wife if she died and he wasn't able to save her or what it was but basically there was a sense that he had done something to harm his wife and that pain of that was living in the basement of his psyche and like he couldn't let go of that pain from the past so tell us your last two steps because I also want to preface by letting the audience know I mean you can play with this at home clearly but the reason why I want to preface whatever Patrick is going to say next is his process is way more in depth having experienced it there are things that we get to do with our hands and there are ways he somatically guides us as well as back into the past and to come forward and the actual healing work and what it entails so even though these are words and it's a one two three four please understand it's way deeper so if you want a session with him then I recommend you do in your freedom process.com you can reach out to him and get more information so you can experience it firsthand so okay Patrick steps three and four yeah so so then ultimately like the sphere of being visible or whatever core wound there is because there's you know five different ones it started somewhere usually someone wasn't born with a fear of being visible although it can't happen to there are certain situations where that that does happen but usually the fear of being visible comes sometime after birth right so we want to find out well where did that actually start from and then reprogram the fear that got loaded into the system you know so so I actually work with a lot of clients who have a fear of being visible and so one of my clients was just telling me that when she was four her parents went through a messy divorce and so she felt like because her parents were going through so much pain and even though they kind of tried to hide it from her you know you can't hide with you can't hide all that emotionality and all the the acrimony you know from a child very easily right and so she felt like it wasn't okay for her to express her needs or uh or to share her self-expression you know like here's like this thing she colored at school or or she was wanting a new doll she felt like she couldn't express herself because her parents needed the support and it wasn't okay for her to ask for support when they were in such need of support so she basically suppressed her needs she suppressed herself expression and basically did whatever she could to support them fast forward to her business life now that's how she's still operating right so it's she doesn't really express what she cares about it's kind of a secret right she's all about trying to help other people but because she doesn't express what she cares about what's what her message is you know which the her the change she wants to create in the world no one kind of knows about her and she's so busy trying to help people but she never tells them about the help she can actually provide and so i call this the uh uh the the five-year-old mba that's so good because we get we get our first business training usually somewhere around five three four five six so she learned how to be a business owner when she was four four to five right so to be okay as a human being she needed to suppress herself expression not really be seen by your parents kind of stay hidden and try to do her best to alleviate their pain this is so prevalent for people come from dysfunctional homes by the way i hope like if people are resonating right right right like really get into this because i know this one intimately too and i see it in other people if you come from dysfunction or alcoholism or whatever that you part of learning to survive that is well one of the ways but most of us on this in this tribe are that sensitive we will learn to understand what other people want to need so we are safe and protected so we're constantly scanning we have this incredible gift to know all of what's going on and if i do this you're you'll be fine you'll be happy and if i do that and etc it's prevalent and then when you go out into the world you're still living from that pattern and service first but there's very little service to self this is such a big wound exactly and uh it doesn't even have to be that dysfunctional of a family you know a lot of my clients had an emotionally distant parent so they would say you know there was nothing wrong with my childhood you know i wasn't abused and so forth but a lack of connection or a sense of neglect is also a form of trauma that you know sometimes it's called invisible trauma and so i know for me growing up you know one of my the pattern one of the patterns i learned was in order to sort of feel the love and affection of my dad i learned to be really competent you know it seemed like it seemed like he liked it when i had good grades or when i did well you know at sports or i was in like the y indian guides you know kind of like the boy scouts but like little indians and so forth so it seemed like when i accomplished something that seemed to like work well for the connection and so i learned to be a student i learned to be good at extracurricular activities and so sort of my mode like here's how i can get loved by people is by accomplishing things unfortunately that's a super tenuous strategy because first of all then you can never stop you always have to be doing stuff then you also feel like you have to do everything right right perfectionism comes out of this wound as well and then you can never rest because your whole your whole program is i have to be doing and accomplishing to be loved big so your client comes to you with this wound and and how is she now so basically this wound was i call it the five-year-old MBA because she got trained how to operate with people at that age and now that's the business it's kind of like a training program what you go through in childhood is a training program for life you learn to operate as an adult from what you're the training program you went through in childhood and so she that training program is what now she's relying on in her business and so what we did was we basically went back and reprogrammed or unwired the training program for when she was four okay so we did some work inside and the work i do is basically sort of neuro science-based so we're working with the programming and the unconscious that started in childhood because you got to go back to the source code right so with her i went to the source code what was going on when she was four helped her unwire the program and basically have that program go to neutral so it's no longer driving her and then we essentially installed a new program right so so a program where it's okay to assert her needs it's okay to express things that she cares about okay and so we basically installed this and it sounds a little abstract when i talk about it but it's very sort of organic when we actually do it and we basically installed a new program a new wiring where she can express herself she can move forward towards her needs and then now in situations where it would make the most sense in the world for her to express her needs she can do it because it's been reprogrammed inside essentially so beautiful wow well when we come back i'll be talking to bachek a little bit more about how this shows up so what is procrastination or is that actually a visibility wound and how can you stop constantly striving and instead move into something that actually serves and works for you well this is dare to dream i feature successful leaders who do outrageous major things in the world and really create their goals and what if you knew that you couldn't fail what if you knew that your alignment to be big and bold was going to allow you to be completely free if you want to be part and i invite you to be part of the dare to dream podcast we are the number one transformation conversation available you can help this show by donating a dollar or more cup of coffee or as much as you feel generous to do so it will make a difference go to patreon.com slash dare to dream you have a big purpose to fulfill and at this show i do everything to align to get you there i bring on the best guess to support you to create what you came here to do go to patreon.com slash dare to dream and if you're tuning in after we've started i've got patrick domingas here on dare to dream he teaches people how to use the inner freedom process so i do want to talk about that idea a procrastination versus visibility how do people start to understand what camp they're in what's actually going on yeah great i love that question so so you know in my 10 years of working with clients i remember one of my first clients as a business coach he came to our first session he said i just have to let you know before we get started that i'm a self-sabotager it's great for a coach to hear and i was like what does that even mean i'd never heard of that before and so that was my introduction to the world of self-sabotage and literally i had no idea how to help him and i basically let him go and said you know i suggest you find other resources because i didn't know how to work with self-sabotage at the time now you know i have the tools to work with that and so self-sabotage of procrastination these all fall into the same bucket procrastination self-sabotage perfectionism also continuously being unclear lack of clarity where you someone never manages to get clear these are all self-protection mechanisms so essentially if you're never taking action right if you're procrastinating if you're self-sabotaging it also means you're not taking action if you're not clear it means you're not taking action and so all these things are ways to avoid taking action in your business or if you're doing that in other areas of your life it's to not take action in those areas and essentially there's like an inner equation that if i take action something bad's going to happen i might fail i might be seen as a fraud i you know i might get hurt in some way i might get judged i might get rejected okay and so sometimes people will put a label like oh i'm just a procrastinator and that's just putting like a little veneer over saying i'm actually afraid and it's so much healthier actually to be able to say you know what yeah procrastinating because i'm afraid because then you can actually get to the bottom of things so usually these sorts of labels that people often use for themselves are just another way of saying yeah i'm afraid and how about like compulsions or addictions to working i know there are addictions to working but i guess what i mean i think it's very prevalent right now people who are like so driven have a to-do list like they don't that i mean i'll be honest i don't wake up and see three things in my to-do list it's like oof i'm always creating always generating and i am a generator in human design so maybe that is part of it but there's also the aspect of peace would be nice about now rest would be nice about now how can that be resolved yes by the way i just want to point out that you know we're talking about core wounds and so forth and i want to just mention that it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you to have core wounds we all have them first of all and you know it's not like we're broken it's just more we have a feeling inside that something's not right okay so we often think like you know those of us who go through transformational work will hold a belief oh yeah you know i'm whole complete and perfect and of course it's true but it's more of a mental concept and oftentimes there's not a feeling inside of being whole and complete okay so this drive this compulsive drive to do that you're talking about definitely comes from a core wound and basically when you sit and you know for anyone listening here if you sit with that compulsive drive okay so let's say you get up in the morning and the first thing you want to do by the way i've done a ton of healing for myself on this one so i know i i know this one intimately because i spent a year just getting connected with it but if you get up in the morning or any time of the day where you're just like compulsively reaching for your to-do list and compulsively checking how have you done pause sit there with that compulsion and just be with that compulsion and feel into the bottom of that compulsion and usually at the at the core of it there's anxiety ah interesting okay and if you and the more and to really get a feel for it have your to-do list there but don't look at it don't let yourself look at it for like five or ten minutes just let it be there and like i'm not going to look at it i'm just going to sit here and relax and it's impossible to relax it's just like this craving i was going to say the trigger is right there yeah and so again just like i said earlier in this in this conversation that's the doorway right whatever is operating that is having you be out of inner harmony and you can't control that's a beautiful doorway to something to to inner freedom to inner peace if you're willing to look there and open the door okay so i've i've also worked with clients who want to have more ease and peace around their work and the drive has positive aspects but you can have the drive and motivation without that anxious compulsive energy and what i asked my clients to do is think about your day to day experience in your business and oftentimes they'll notice oh yeah i feel like this constricted sort of compulsive anxious energy all day long or a lot of their work day and so we can not have that and still be productive and creative and so forth i heard kyle cease speaking yesterday i'm watching the series right now and he was talking about how he meditates for two hours every morning i've heard this before and i'm saying it like that with a shrug because before i was like teflon right i heard it whatever that's that's amazing and but i heard it yesterday because after he talked about that he meditates for two hours he was saying how many people look at him and say god how can you do that how can you even factor in meditation and he looks at them and says how can you not and it just hit me yesterday because i had this understanding in that moment the profundity of what comes to somebody even if it's only 20 minutes the connection with the divine the downloads the peace the becoming part of the all that is and so much more i suddenly had this really big revelation of the import of that and i'm someone who strives to do it every day but i have been trying to jam it here and there into my schedule and letting my schedule take the control in the rains as opposed to saying no meditation first so i'm really curious patrick when you say this was big for you you took a year you found anxiety at the bottom of the barrel there so what what was it besides of course your technique obviously but what have you employed that has created something contrary for you out into the world where is it that you live now yeah so there's a lot more freedom around waking up in the morning and just being able to you know do my morning practices versus like having to get up do things for two hours and then never actually getting to the morning practices so you know so i get up you know my morning practices i get up i smile that's the first thing i do when i wake up in the morning it's so great for your whole sort of energetic system just a smile of a glass of water i take a walk so pretty basic things i might do a little bit of inspirational reading but the whole thing was i had to if or at least in my experience it really helped to rewire that compulsive desire to jump out of that and do stuff yeah okay it wasn't it wasn't i'm going to make this a really big priority and so forth it was actually healing the part of me that was feeling so driven so that i could actually choose something other than to just keep driving because trying to override these sorts of patterns inside is very difficult because these patterns like the compulsive doing you know it's running all the time so you can stop it you can really will yourself to stop it for a little while like oh i'm going to meditate you know for 20 minutes right now but as soon as you're done meditating you're like right back on that hamster wheel of doing so i love the idea of the morning practice i i have been uh since i got back from Costa Rica i've been using youtube on my smart tv and they have morning intentions and i've been listening to that and that's a beautiful like beautiful to surround myself with i i do dry brushing every morning i have to take a walk before i go to the gym because i've got a dog and one of my practices is eft tapping which for me is tremendous and i still feel that peace that this this connection with the divine this silence i guess if you will which is so the antithesis of the anxiety but this silence this just being is what i long for more of yes i remember when i was in college i took this class in buddhism and there was this metaphor of the of the three veils and the idea was that all of us inside have the buddha nature this sort of awakened nature and but it's covered up by these three veils and the veils are ignorance attachment and anger okay and so when i was studying this in college i always thought this was a metaphor but what i realized now in since i've been doing deep healing work is the parts of us that are unhealed right the inner critic the part of us that's consult compulsively doing the part of us that's afraid of being visible these are like kind of like cloud layers over our inner sunshine and the inner sunshine is that aspect of us that already knows how to be at peace and grounded and so forth and so what i found in doing this healing work is when you can kind of peel off these layers these sort of layers that carry anxiety the fear and so forth when you peel off the layers what's left is basically like a shining buddha nature and i call it the inner freedom state some people call it true self or higher self but basically i studied all the different people who talk about higher self true self and so forth and everybody is talking about the exact same qualities there's a state where you feel grounded at peace connected to unconditional love connected to deeper wisdom it's kind of like this whole like basket of different things that you get when you tap into the state and what i find is when you heal the parts of us that feel sort of like lacking inside or when we have a hole inside and we heal that it's just so much more automatic to have this you know deeper you know sort of true self higher self experience you don't have to kind of work for it you just have easier access to it because there's fewer things sort of in the way between you and that state wow i feel it as you describe it i appreciate that so much because as i hear you say that patrick if it already is there's no place to go to access it i already be that it's just a matter um i'm feeling into it as i say it but if i know this to be true it's really choice right so i can wake up and make a new choice now i totally dig the part you're saying like the healing work is kind of important you know so don't bypass that and try to repatter but still um for me in the mornings i i really can be in choice and i long to have that feeling i know that right now more than ever i'm really wanting that so there's no accident that kyle would say what he did yesterday and i'd hear something in a way i never had before that you're saying what you're saying and allowing me to understand i'm ready that space everybody listening is already that space and that we can just choose that and the modality can be different for all of us but i i really appreciate that beautiful point of view the buddha nature it's ready here golden buddha nature yes and i remember for years i was drawn to buddhism and i would go to buddhist retreats and dharma talks and you know the whoever was giving the talk usually some you know beautiful buddha monk or nun would talk about how you know we have this shining buddha nature inside and no striving is ever going to have you experience that so you've probably heard that so no striving no teaching is ever going to give you that connection and i remember once asking one of the teachers so then how do you have access to this the state and there wasn't really much of an answer other than well just let go of you know it's just about letting go of what's you know sort of in the way or on top of that and it's sort of like what i said to the shaman in the fourth plant medicine ceremony i'm like so tired of the intentions i said whatever's in the way let's get rid of it bring it and so i at a certain point i got really frustrated in these spiritual you know situations with spiritual teachings because there was teachings but not really much how to like so no striving is going to get there okay i'm not striving now but doesn't seem like the buddha nature is any more accessible so and so my own path to more access to that buddha nature experience is by letting go of the layers it's like the cloud cover over the sun and so now i get why there's no striving because when you let go of the parts that are kind of covering it up the parts that are actually striving to have peace when you actually allow you know more parts of your being to be at peace than the buddha nature that kind of like is just becomes available so beautiful thank you well folks right here at the end if you're interested in connecting with patrick go to innerfreedomprocess.com i've got also an exclusive for the dare to dream listeners a unique deal with thinkific available only to you where you can create you can market you can sell your online courses best technology best support three months free of their business plan go to thnk.cc slash deb three months free patrick here at the end this is dare to dream what are you next dare to dream what are your future dreams and goals uh i'm feeling uh so motivated right now just so on fire to uh my my dream is for the sort of healing work that we're talking about to go mainstream so in the same way that you know just in our lifetime yoga has gone fairly mainstream obviously there's other aspects of yoga but you know hatha yoga has gone fairly mainstream mindfulness and meditation has gone mainstream coaching has gone pretty mainstream and so i'm out there in the world as an ambassador for healing to go mainstream and i believe healing is the new coaching it's the new personal development it's the thing that people are going to coaching and personal development and spirituality for they're craving something to change inside and so you know i'm just spreading the word for people to you know look at those places inside where maybe it's a little scary to look because they're not as scary as you think and they open a door to you know just amazing inner harmony inner peace and inner freedom thank you so much for coming on the show today i really appreciate it thank you for having me and if anyone would like to chat more or discover where your core wounds are and so forth you can find me at my website i'd love to talk to you otherwise debbie you've been an amazing host it's been such a great time talking with you and thank you for having me really appreciate it always patrick the best well i end today's show with this quote from annette messager being an artist means forever healing your own wounds and at the same time endlessly exposing them tune in to next week's show and dare to dream with my guest sherry belul who runs simply celebrate sherry has been seen on a major television as she activates life's magic and shows us the best gifts that we can get for the people we love remember to subscribe to dare to dream your number one transformation conversation and if you're listening to this on podcast and you love it and you really want to see what the guest looks like and see us animated talking together go to youtube.com slash debbie dashinger and remember the secret of success is having the courage to begin in the first place thanks for being with us today