 Yeah Make sure everyone can hear the question We're talking about this this feeling of a desire to disappear and not be visible to be invisible in the world and Looking at it from that angle and also looking at the opposite side of wanting to be the center of attention Because both are part of a distracted device from getting in touch with our true self or higher self and I can definitely relate to The first aspect to of the question in the sense that that I Was voted most quiet in my senior class out of the entire senior class My picture appeared in the yearbook twice once with the little mugshot that you're supposed to have and once under the Kind of the superlative things most likely to succeed class clown Da-da-da, you know all those things. I was most quiet. So they had me holding a microphone and saying nothing and So we could say that's all part of the personality self or the mask the persona that was made to cover over our spiritual reality and Oftentimes that's that's just an it's an aspect of a defense mechanism the fear and the panic That's projected out onto the world onto the body When actually there's this fear of love this fear of opening to our reality and That usually is not conscious whenever we talk about fear of love. I know for myself I worked with the course for years and I would never get that part. I'd say I'm not afraid of love I want love. I'm open to love. It took a lot of work and convincing really to be shown That's really what the dynamic was all about that there was a terror of this Spiritual intimacy this divine love that was associated with being identified with the ego. So It seems like the way out of this This sense of being embarrassed of public speaking or terrified of public speaking or shy as I consider myself extremely shy to to the point of not being involved in any kind of Clubs or social groups You know just really kind of what is more like being like a wallflower just slipping by unnoticed The more you Open up to forgiveness and you open up to purpose It's really the question answering the question. What is it for and what serves the whole and? a deepening experience that the sole use of the body By the by the spirit is as a communication device and so speaking is It's part of that It was actually quite striking to me when I first read in A Course in Miracles that The only function of the body Was to let the voice for God speak through it Which is a kind of a striking sentence When you consider all the uses that you can imagine for a body And in the uses and the purposes you could give to a body But the only function of the body he says is to let the voice for God speak through it so To me it's it's not so much of trying to lead or guide with a form at all like Some people who have a fear of public speaking will go to something like Toastmasters and Try to give speeches to overcome their terror that could be seen as as People who have a fear of of heights doing bungee jumping or or Parachuting out of airplanes and so on so forth. It's tempting to believe that we could overcome fears By doing something and actually what the course is saying is no This is part of a mind training program where you're exposing these unconscious thoughts and beliefs and as you do that You loosen the grips of the mind from the ego. You become more aligned with spirit and then Miraculously as you are you shift your perception to be in alignment with God then the that speaking in public or Using speaking in a very helpful and appropriate way. It just starts to spill out and flow out naturally So it's it's like there are no specific problems. It's just that the one Problem is that belief in separation from God and the more that we Keep exposing that problem and raising it to the light then it starts to just dissolve away fade away and And then this the speaking comes in more and more for me it was Like I'd be traveling around and invited to go speak here there and talk at a group here or there and and even the first time I was Invited to a church. I think I was going up to Michigan. I was walking to this kind of a New thought church and I arrived like five minutes before the talk so when I walked in they just took me right up to the front and put me behind the pulpit and It was surreal. I just looked out and I thought oh my god. It's come to this The very thing I never ever could imagine myself doing speaking behind a pulpit and I'm Hands are resting on the pulpit and and I have no clue what I'm going to say or what? What anything will come out and and that's when it just the whole Talk just came out In that church that came out with a lot of parables and so forth which was really good because The congregation loved it. They actually could relate very much to the parables The next night I found myself speaking at a another church and I didn't know that but it was like a very deeply metaphysical church and So the second talk was nothing like the first talk. It was very very metaphysical and they loved it and it's that's why I'm glad the spirit is the one in charge because You know the spirit knows your audience so to speak knows exactly who has the ears to hear and and I think that as I've gone along with this thing of like Being spoken through I call it it. It's very relaxing because a you don't know What's going to come out and be you're not in charge of what comes out? It's more of just like paying. I'm paying attention like everyone else as the talks come And so in that sense it does remind me of the phrase in the course. It says miracles are involuntary They should not be under conscious control And in that sense, that's where the relaxing aspect of the miracle comes in. It's it's more like you're on Holy Spirit autopilot Which is the exact opposite of the egoic? kind of concern and What should I say? What should I do? Do they like it? Is it well received and all the typical? ego Attempts to use words as well