 J-E-L-L-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris in his orchestra. The orchestra opens a program with in Old Chicago. Music This is the shortest month of the year but even so there are plenty of days to enjoy Jell-O. And plenty of ways to enjoy Jell-O too. For, no matter how you serve it, plain or combined with fruits or topped with whipped cream, Jell-O is always delicious. That's because it's crammed with delicious extra-rich fruit flavor, a luscious, satisfying, real fruit taste that makes Jell-O America's favorite dessert. No other gelatin dessert brings you Jell-O's extra-rich fruit flavor. No other can top it for sheer, delightful goodness. All six flavors are equally tempting. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. But just be sure to insist on genuine Jell-O when you buy. Don't accept any substitutes. Look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O. Old Chicago from the picture of the same name played by Phil Harrison, his orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you... Hold it, Don. Jack isn't here yet. Well, not here yet. Well, are you sure, Phil? I didn't seem. Did you marry? No. Have you looked under everything? Yeah? Well, that's strange. I wonder where Jack can be. He was here last Sunday, if that'll help. Maybe he met somebody on the way over, and they stopped off to eat. Well, it wouldn't take him that long, would it? It would if the other guy didn't pick up the check. I think you better call up his house. Yeah. Number, please. Operator, get me Hollywood 3981 and hurry up. Hurry. Oh, keep your shirt on. Hello, Mr. Benny's resident. Hey, Rochester. Is Mr. Benny there? Yes, sir, but he's still in bed. Ben, well, now, you go and wake him up and tell him the program started. Is he on it today? Of course he is. Now, you better get right down here. Okay, but I hate to wake him up just for that. Dog gone, why don't they let that man rest? He sure looks happy there. He must be dreaming about a blog. It's a brunette. Hey, Mr. Benny. Mr. Benny. You're low again. Oh, good morning, Rochester. Good morning. Morning, man, morning, came and went and almost is again. My goodness, is it as late as that? Yes, sir. Mr. Wilson just called up and said... Wilson, hey, I've got a program to do. Rochester, this is a fine thing I told you to call me at 12 o'clock. I was out playing polo then. Well, put down your mallet and help me get dressed. I gotta rush over to the studio. Get me my underwear. Hey, y'all, ain't you gonna take a bath? I haven't time for a bath. Anyway, I can miss one day. Okay, but I better dust y'all. Now, never mind that. Give me my socks. You know, the gray ones without the holes. And give me a shirt, too. You want a clean one or are you gonna wear a muffler? Well, of course I want a clean one. Gosh, how could I oversleep eight hours? If you ever let me do that again, Rochester, you won't get that raise, I promised you. There goes nothing. Is that so? Look it, I'll answer the door. Get me my shoes. They're under the bed. All right, I'm coming. Yes, sir, what is it? Pardon me, I have a package here for Mr. Homer Truffle. Homer Truffle? I'm sorry, but you got the wrong place. Sign right here, Mr. Truffle. Look, look, I'm in a hurry. I'm not Homer Truffle. I don't even know Homer Truffle. Well, you should. He's an awfully nice fellow. Goodbye. Everything happens when I'm in a rush. Hey Rochester, where's my neck tie? Ain't you gonna shave your whiskers a kind of long? I haven't got time for that. I'll just put a little powder on. That ain't gonna fool nobody. Now mind your own business. Give me my hat and coat. I'll answer the phone. Hello? Hello, Jack. What's keeping you? Oh, it's you, Mary. I'll be over in a few minutes. Keep the program going. All right. But, oh, Jack, I must tell you, the funniest thing happened a few minutes ago. What is it, Mary? Well, Phil Harris was showing Don Wilson how to play a new card game. Yes. And now Don is the orchestra leader. Are you all playing the game? I'll say, Kenny just won my new hat. You know, the one with the red feathers on it. He did? Is he wearing it? Yeah, I think he's an Indian. Me, he big cheat. Buy an Indian. I'll scalp him when I get to the studio. I wish you would. I want my hat back. Well, hang up, Mary. I gotta finish dressing. I'll be right over. Okay, goodbye. Goodbye. I knew something would happen if I wasn't there. Hey, Rochester. Rochester. Right here, boss. Here's your hat and coat. Okay. Where's my wristwatch? Your what? My wristwatch. Where is it? Oh, you don't want that. I do too. Rochester, where is my wristwatch? You mean that no good little thing that never keeps time? Rochester, where is my wristwatch? You could have lost it, you know. Rochester, where is my wristwatch? Okay, here's the ticket. I thought so. Why, Rochester? You're the third-degree-ness man I ever worked for. Never mind that. You pawn my watch. How much did you get on it? Eight dollars. Eight dollars? Yeah, I could never get over five. Next time? Next time I'll go with you. Yeah, next time wait for the laugh, too. Well, I'll take this up with you later. So long. Goodbye, boss. It's a fine butler I've got after all I've done. Oh, taxi, taxi. NBC Studio, quick. Hey, Mr. Benny. Mr. Benny. I'm in a hurry, Rochester. What is it? Ain't you gonna wear no pants? Pants? Well, of all of us. Wait a minute, driver. I'll be right out. Gee, I hope the neighbors weren't lucky. That was, uh, that was let that be a lesson to you from Hollywood Hotel played by Don Wilson and his jolly Jello Jorchestra. And Don, I couldn't have done worse myself. Well, I don't know about that, Phil. At least the boys in the orchestra followed me, didn't they, Mary? Yeah, I wish you'd have gone home. Say, that's a pip. I'm an Indian. Quiet song in the puss. Hello, fellas. Gee, I'm sorry I'm late. No, this is the first time I've overslept that much. Imagine, 18 hours. The Sandman must have slugged you. And say, Mary, the most awful thing happened to me. I was in such a hurry, I rushed out of the house without my pants and had to go back. I didn't put them on. I tell you, I was never so embarrassed in my life. Imagine going out without my pants. Well, just turn them around now and you'll be all set. Oh, oh! Well, I can do that later. Say, Jack, you know that same thing happened to me once. What's that, Kenny? I got up at six o'clock one morning to go to work and put my pants on backwards. Uh-huh. And then I walked by the mirror and thought I was just coming in so I went back to bed again. I bet you must have felt silly, huh? And then when I went to bed, I put my pajamas on backwards and thought I was just getting out of bed. Oh, quiet! Go over in the corner and play Indian. Okay, white boy. Say, Phil. Yes, Jack? What's this I hear about Don winning your orchestra from you? That's his tough luck. I know, but, gee, what are you going to do now? Don't worry about me. Ladies and gentlemen, if you happen to breeze by a grocery store, why don't you walk in and say to the clerk, listen, Shorty, slip me a couple of boxes of Jell-O, will you? Jell-O-A, what flavor, sir? All six of them, Baldi. Okay, Kinky. Say, Kink, you kind of go for Jell-O, don't you? Yeah, man. Oh, I feel that was marvelous. Did you hear that, Don? Not bad, huh? Oh, he used a stooge. Yes, but that wasn't any good. Oh, cheer up, Don. After all, you did leave the orchestra. Say, how were you anyway? Well, Jack, we started off pizzicato, ripped through the alegretto, and when we got to the crescendo, believe me, Jack, it was fortissimo. It was? What does he mean, Phil? Don't ask me, I'm a civilian now. Oh, well, anyway, a change like this is good once in a while. Leave me. Come in. Special delivery for Murray Livingston. Oh, it's for my mother. How do you know? You haven't even seen it. Probably isn't from your mother at all. This too. Oh. Well, Murray, open it up. Let's hear what the playing field Mrs. Fiddler has to say. Just a minute. Sign here, please. Oh, yes. Here, bud, here's a tip for you. You got change for quarter? No, I left my wallet in my yacht. I never heard such impudence. Oh, why didn't you give him the whole quarter? It wouldn't break you. Murray, you know that's an eagle on a quarter, not a homing pigeon. Well, why don't you open the letter? Okay. Well, that's a novelty. A wooden envelope. What are you laughing at? Look at the way Mama starts her letter. Plain steel, new jokesy. February 1st. That's starting out good already, huh? The old, go ahead, Mary. My dear daughter, Mary, received your letter and thanks very much for sending us a check for our anniversary. You shouldn't have done it. Well, that was sweet, Mary. I gave your father the check to send back to you, and he has a brand new suit to prove it. Oh. We celebrated our anniversary by going to a movie. We saw Thurbread Don't Cry with a swell kid asking it named Macaroni. Macaroni? That's Mickey Rooney. Macaroni. Your uncle Otto, who dropped in for Thanksgiving and stayed four months, has promised to leave next Thursday. He better as your father put a time bomb under his bed. Well, that's one way of getting him out. I think your father means that as he has already ordered a new roof. Well... I must tell you what happened yesterday. Your brother, Hillard, swallowed his harmonica. And now we can't get him to play anything unless we put a nickel in his nose. Commercial little fellow, isn't he? Go ahead, Mary. You remember how much trouble your sister, Babe, had with her eyes? Well, the doctor said she doesn't have to wear glasses anymore. That's good. We think she does. She came in the house last night and said hello, Papa, to the gas stove. Oh, well, that's awful, isn't it? Uh, we didn't want to make her feel bad, though, so this morning we cooked breakfast on your father. Well, that's just trying to be funny. No other news? No. Well, close now. Give my love to the whole gang and say hello to Jack. Your affectionate mother bubbles Livingston. Bubbles? Well... P.S. Oh, gee, more stuff, huh? Please ask Kenny Baker to sing by Mary Biss and Shane as he is the only one who hasn't done it yet. Hey, she's right at that. Hey, Kenny, do you know by Mary Biss to Shane? Oh, I think I do. How does it go? You know, by Mary Biss to Shane. So let me explain. Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum. You get it, Kenny? What's left of it? Well, sing it. Play Phil or Don or whoever owns the orchestra. All the girls I've known and I've known some Until I first met you, I was known some And when you came inside, dear, my heart grew light And it's all worth seeing for the first time The bar each language only helps me say hi Mary Biss to Shane, sung by Kenny Baker And Kenny, for a song that's been kicked around As much as that, it certainly sounded great. Thanks, Jack. That kid gets sillier every day. Oh, say, Jack. Yes, Don? You know, I've been wanting to ask you something all evening And I've just remembered what it is. What is it, Don? Said he's slipping gracefully into a new routine. What, Don? Well, I, Jack, you were out at Santa Anita Race Track last Friday, weren't you? Yeah, what about it? Well, I was just wondering if you had a bet on Play May. You know, the horse that paid $673 for a $2 ticket. Boy, what a horse. That's not a horse. That's an annuity. No, I didn't have a bet on her, Don, And I'm sorry you brought it up. I've been sick about it ever since. You know, I had a hunch to play that horse. I had it on my mind for days. I'm surprised you didn't, Jack. You're always looking for a bargain. Well, I tell you, Phil, I'm disgusted with myself. You were there, Mary. Remember that horse that paid $673 to $2? I'll say I had it right on the nose. That's right. You did, yeah. Gee, that was a marvelous price for a horse to pay. Who was the jockey? Santa Claus. I can't understand why I backed out on it. Well, what made you change your mind, Jack? Do you really want to know what happened, Don? Yes. Well, this is positively pathetic. What was it, Jack? Tell us. I'll do better than that. I'll show you. The scene is the Santanita racetrack, 10 minutes before the first race last Friday. Take it away, Santanita. Gee, it sure crowded here today, isn't it, Mary? Yeah. Are you going to bet on anything in the first race, Jack? Look, Mary, I've got a hunch on a long shot. A horse called Play-Me. Well, that horse ought to pay $100 to one. Don't tell me you're going to bet a whole dollar. A dollar? I'm going to bet two. That's what I think I heard. Must be love. Now, listen to this hunch. The horse's name is Play-Me, isn't it? Yes. Well, for years, I've been saying Play-Fill, haven't I? You get it? Play-Fill. Yeah, but the horse's name is Play-Me. All right, Smarty, I'm not through. What month was I born in? February. Well, can't you see? It's only two months from February to May. Play-Me. I tell you, I can't lose. Oh, I don't know. And not only that, but look how it works out. The horse's name is Play-Me. Now, spell May backwards. Y-A-M, yam. There you are, yam. And you know I'm crazy about sweet potatoes. I tell you, Mary, it's in the bag. Well, I don't care. I'm going to bet on the favorite. Knee-Grat. I got a hunch, too. Knee-Grat, what's your hunch? Well, I've got two knees, and I feel Grat today. Now, that's silly. Well, anyway, I'm going over to the window and bet on Play-Me. That's the horse, believe me. Now, you wait here. Okay. Hello, Jack. Oh, hello, Kenny. Who have you got in the first race? Well, Jack, I don't know much about picking horses. Gosh, I don't know whether to bet on City Slicker or Brenda. What do you think? Well, I would know what to tell you, Kenny. Of course, one horse is a Gelding, and the other is a Philly, you know. What do you mean, Jack? Well, one is a male, and the other is a female. Oh, are there two kinds? Look, Kenny, I can save you a lot of trouble. Just bet on a horse called Play-Me. It's going to come in and pay you a fortune. She will? Sure. Take my advice, Kenny. I'm going to bet on $2 on his nose. All right, lend me $2, will you? Kenny, I'm not a finance company. See you later. Hey, Jack. Jack. What is it, Mary? I was just talking to Ben Crosby, and he said you shouldn't make any bets until the fourth race. Why? Then you can lose your money on his horse. Well, I'm not going to put any more money on Crosby's horses. I bet on one last week, and he stopped writing the homestretch and saying, I surrender, dear. I didn't mind that so much, but the jockey was playing a bazooka. Now, listen, Mary, I'm going over to this window and bet on my original hunch, Play-Me. Okay, see you later. Yes, sir. Plenty of money and you can find it. Well, God, this horse can't lose. Hey, buddy, come here a minute, will you? What is it? Now, listen, pal, I'm going to give you a tip that's so hot you can fry an egg on it. I'm sorry, mister, I've had breakfast. Besides, I'm putting my money on Play-Me. Play-Me? Why, that nag couldn't win if you put a digital engineer. Oh, yeah? Take my tip, buddy. Play the favorite, Negrette. The favorite? Negrette, huh? Do you think he'll come in first? Why, he'll be dancing in the Trocadero before the rest of them hit the homestretch. Gee, say, maybe that is the horse for me. Are you sure Negrette will win? Cross my heart in the honest engine. Well, that's good enough for me. I'm going right over and bet on Negrette. Gee, I'm glad I met you. Wait a minute, buddy, got a cigar? Only the one I'm smoking. Well, that'll do, so long. Didn't have to jerk it out of my face there. Here's the window. Hey, mister, give me a $2 ticket on the... Hey, get in line, you. Sure, that's what I say, too. Oh, I'm sorry, lady. Gee, everybody pushing and shoving and... Hey, mister. What is it? Will you please hold still? I've been trying to pit your pocket for 10 minutes. Get away from here. I'm ticklish. Well, come on, come on, what'll it be? I want a $2 ticket on Negrette. Win place or show? To win. No, wait a minute, wait a minute. Make it to place. That's it. No, no, no, look, better make that show. That's it, the show. Yes, that's better. Okay, reckless. Here's my $2. Thank you. Well, let go of it. Now, don't rush me. I may never see it again. Hey, Mary, Mary. Yeah? I just bought a ticket. I changed my horse to the one you had, Negrette. That's funny. I changed mine to playmate. You did? Well, why didn't you tell me? Oh, gosh, I don't know who's going to win. Well, the race starts in a couple of minutes. Let's go over and grab a hot dog. I'm starved. Okay, but I won't enjoy it. Hey, buddy, come here a minute. What do you want? I got a hot tip for you in the first race. A horse called Barcarole. Barcarole? You just told me Negrette was going to win. Oh, are you the guy? Pardon me. I'm sorry I came out here at all. Oh, come on, Jack. Let's grab a hot dog. Too late now, Mary. The horses are lining up. Well, I'm hungry. Here's a stand right here. All right, hurry up, Mr. Give us two hot dogs and plenty of mustard. Okay, here you are. Here's a quarter. Keep the change. Come on, Mary. Let's get up close to the rail. Wait for me. Gee, I'm nervous. I wonder if I did right in switching from playmate to Negrette. You'll find out. Gosh, I'm excited. Mary, give me the binocular. Here you are. Thanks. Mary, that's the hot dog. Now my face is full of mustard. Darn it. Go on. That's the healthiest you've looked all year. That's so. Give me your field glasses. Look, Mary, Negrette is number seven. Gee, that's a swell position. When they break, he'll be on the outside. See, there they go, Mary. Then the second by two lengths, city slicker third by a length and a half. Come on, Negrette. Come on, playmate. They're coming into the half. Sun起est is leading by two lengths. We're in the second and Barker-Ole third, but moving up fast. And here comes Rosalie from the picture of the same name. Where's Negrette? At the three quarters. It's Verendi in the lead. Negrette second. Come on, Negrette. Barker-Ole. Fixing. That's a mistake. Well, I'm only human. It's a fine race. Mr. Verendi first by a length. Playmate second and coming up fast. You see, Don, that's exactly what happened to me last Friday at San Anita. Oh, that's too bad, Jack. You should have followed your hunch. Why, certainly. Come in. Say, buddy, I got a hot tip for you in the second race. You can't lose. Oh, Mr. Rebek! If you're looking for a surrounding dessert that's delicious and tempting, here's the answer. It's called apricot bavarian cream, and it's one of the grandest desserts you've ever enjoyed, made with luscious strawberry jello, whipped cream, and apricots. And here's what you do. Dissolve one package of strawberry jello and chill until slightly thickened. Then fold in three fourths of a cup of whipped cream, a cup and a half of cooked apricots mashed, and a half a cup of sugar. Mold until firm, and you have the swallest dessert you've seen in a long time. It's a rich, creamy rose color, and it's a perfect flavor combination for apricots and strawberry jello taste simply grand together. Just be sure to make your apricot bavarian cream with genuine jello. For there's only one jello, and only jello brings you that delicious extra rich fruit flavor. Ask your grocer for jello. This is the last number of the 19th program in the new jello series, and we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. And the moral of our little playlet is, never bet on a sure thing. Unless you're sure, it's a sure thing. What's that, Mary? Your horse just came in. I knew he'd come through. Good night, both. Flaker appears on the jello program for courtesy of Mervin and Roy Productions. This is a nice little broadcasting company.