 Hello everyone. Welcome to the Narc Survivor YouTube channel. Before I begin, please hit that thumbs up button down below to show your support. Thank you. The narcissist's strange sexual behavior. If you have been involved with a narcissist, you're probably aware that their sexual behavior is quite strange to say the least. In the beginning they're completely in favor of you. They've had close links with you and then they deliberately become less close to you, which is very strange and peculiar. It's very different to what is typical, usual or expected. It's different to what you might normally experience, which is how it catches you off guard and causes you to overthink about it because you just can't understand it. It doesn't make any sense to you because you're a normal person trying to wrap your head around something an abnormal person is doing. And that is why it doesn't make any sense. But I'm here to shed some light on this topic because I can understand that it must be very confusing for you, especially after you've already had this intimate connection and experience with them in the beginning. And everything seemed to be going well and then suddenly it's as though it was all in your imagination as though nothing really happened because they're not like that anymore. They're making you think that something is wrong with you, which is affecting your self-worth and self-esteem when it really has nothing to do with you. It's just that they have problems in developing emotional attachments because in their childhood they didn't experience healthy attachments to their parents or caregivers due to neglect. So they were unable to consistently connect with their parents or caregivers which resulted in this behavioral disorder which has affected their ability to form and maintain relationships. Because unlike ourselves they have difficulty experiencing positive emotions and they may even react violently to love and affection. They experience fluctuating moods, a flight, a fight, flight or freeze response and a strong desire to make their own decisions which is why the relationship and the connection that you were supposed to have soon stops and naturally as an empath it may cause you to blame yourself. When in actuality it's just that when you're dealing with a narcissist at some point it will become toxic because they always have an agenda. So they will use the relationship for other means because they're disconnected from themselves. They don't even understand themselves so of course they can't connect to you or understand you because they can't even do that for themselves. So instead they use intimacy as a means of gaining an advantage over you which means that they will become very manipulative and controlling and they will try to limit or restrict any intimate or sexual acts or it will have to be on their terms so that they can feel like they're in control because they're very insecure. They've never experienced a secure attachment in their lives so they've got to feel like they're in control and that is why they seem to resemble the characteristics of a robot to where they're very stiff and unemotional as opposed to being energetic and enthusiastic and that is when you begin to blame yourself or you assume that they're no longer interested in you or that they've found someone else who they like more than you so it causes you to ruminate and you think about it again and again because you just can't wrap your head around it. You don't understand what went wrong when it's because your ideas and perspectives of the narcissist being sexually attracted to someone and enjoying sexual activities are actually inappropriate, irrelevant and incorrect because narcissists are not sexually attracted to anyone and they do not enjoy sex because sex is about giving someone else attention it's about giving someone else power over yourself and your bodily reactions which is something that narcissists are very uncomfortable with because they're very insecure so they always have to be in control. The last thing they really want is to give a person power over their own body and they also don't want to have to think about you or trying to please you because they're only concerned about themselves they don't care about your sexual pleasure that does nothing for them it doesn't make them feel anything it means nothing if anything it actually makes them feel sick they are repulsed by the idea of love intimacy and connection and that is why they're so manipulative and controlling because they don't want to be involved in that they don't want to connect they don't want to do anything for you they don't want to bond with you because they have an attachment disorder they're incapable of doing that and that is why it all seems so strange and peculiar because what you're anticipating and expecting is normal it's supposed to happen it's how you're meant to connect and grow in a relationship and they don't want you to suspect that anything is wrong they'd rather you just blame yourself when the regard to gives that it is then even if they've had many relationships and sexual partners the truth is that they were not sexually attracted to any of them and they didn't enjoy the act of intimacy or sex what they enjoy is what happens before that such as their manipulation love bombing and gaslighting that's what excites them they may also enjoy pornography and masturbation but they do not enjoy being intimate with another person they just use it to gain an advantage over you to get you to agree with them or to get something from you or especially if they think they're about to lose you then they might do it just to stop you from leaving or they may also do it to get you back but that's really all that it is and that's all that it's ever going to be they use intimacy and sex as a means of manipulating and controlling you they do not enjoy the activity it repulses them it makes them feel sick but many of them will play along and try to pretend like they're into it because they want to look normal they don't want to feel like something is wrong with them but deep down they do know that it's them because you're the one who is always trying to initiate it and they're the ones who are always pulling away so of course they know it's them but even then many of them don't really feel like they're missing something they're just not even concerned about it it's not something they even think about they could quite easily go years without sex and only use it as a means of manipulating and controlling their victims because it doesn't do anything for them and this is why they're so dismissive of it because for a lot of them it really is unworthy of their consideration they don't even think about it they just do it to pacify you to keep you at bay also that you don't ever suspect that they have a serious problem because it is a natural human need to desire to be close to someone there is nothing wrong with wanting or needing that it's completely normal but when you're involved with a narcissist it's all very weird and it's actually very harmful to you because you're not bonding or connecting to each other which is a natural and most things that are unnatural are harmful but it's because they just don't have the desire or the sexual drive to do it there's nothing inside of them that makes them want it unless they can use it to support their agenda otherwise they can do without it and you will see this throughout the relationship not just during the act of intimacy when you hug them they pull away when you kiss them they pull away they do not like affection they do not like intimacy they just don't like anything that is outside of their control because they're very insecure and even if everything is on their terms even then they haven't got any desire to actually do it it's only something they use to manipulate and control their victims and even then it's only if they feel like they have to do it if they feel like they can do that without it they will but naturally it will make you blame yourself it will make you question your own sexual attractiveness or even your sexual technique it will make you feel like you must have done something wrong because it's just so unusual for someone to not have any sexual desire so you may feel like it's you you may feel like you're not good enough you may feel like you're the problem when really it is the narcissist they don't know what love is they're disconnected from themselves so how could they ever connect to you or anyone else how could they ever be vulnerable how could they ever show you their emotions they could never do that because they see that as a weakness when really being vulnerable takes strength and courage but this is just how they were raised to see it that love is a weakness and it opens you up to being used and exploited to them there is no such thing as intimacy or connection people can only use or be used they can't connect because they never saw a vision of love in their childhood all they saw was people using each other so it was conditional when it is unconditional love that allows us to develop a sense of self narcissists have no sense of self so there's nothing for you to connect to and they have nothing to connect to you any representations of intimacy or sexual behavior are used purely as a means to manipulate and control you they're not concerned with the act of sex or sexual attraction they just want to possess you like an object they want to feel like you belong to them and as though you exist to serve them so that you can meet their emotional needs if they can do that without any representations of love sex or intimacy they will thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me slash narc survivor you can book a one-on-one with me on my website it's narcsurvivor.co.uk thank you for watching and i'll talk to you soon