 Unlike a red flag, a yellow flag means proceed, but with extreme caution. Health. The body positivity movement is a scam. This idea that you cannot judge a person by their appearance, and particularly aspects of their appearance that they have control over, is a lie. You can and you should, barring very unique and unlikely circumstances. Guess what? If a woman is morbidly obese, she might also be irresponsible. She's irresponsible of what goes into her mouth. She might also be irresponsible of what goes into other places. She neglects the fact that she breathes heavy doing regular everyday activities. She might also neglect the fact that she's got a 300 credit score. So again, these things are not a perfect science, but they are an indication of a person's character and discipline. Just like the revised episode I did of the woman who lost a bunch of weight and then cheated on her husband, I would go as far as saying you shouldn't fully trust a woman who is irresponsible with her health. And again, she didn't even lose the weight the right way. She just had surgery. So she even took the shortcut. One of the seven deadly sins is gluttony. So when I heard these stories of what Lizzo is doing to her employees and things like that, I wasn't surprised. Lizzo is being sued by three of her former dancers who are accusing her of sexual harassment and creating a toxic work environment. Again, there are certain characteristics and personality traits that are consistent with people who are irresponsible with themselves. Gluttony is defined as habitual greed or excess eating. And I realize that people who struggle with their weight usually it's covering up something else, whether it's trauma or this low self-esteem. But again, as a brother who is now looking to take one of these women on as a potential love interest, this is something you should be wary of. Is this a woman who's realistic enough to understand that, no, this is not a healthy weight? And forget all this stuff about the American health system, is defining VMI incorrectly, whatever the case may be. But can this woman at least acknowledge reality like, yes, I am too big? Or is this somebody who's talking about big fine, big sexy and all these other distractionary terms to enable people literally eating themselves to death? Is this a woman who's familiar with her OBGYN and their besties? Is this a woman who gets checkups regularly? Because again, as men, we are not as, and I encourage men to be more familiar with getting checked up and getting physicals in a whole nine. But this is one of the things that I would like to look to women to inspire us to be better at. Because your family is only going to be as good as her. So if you find your woman who's low-key a hypochondriac and she's very health-conscious, she's very in tune with her body, you got you one. Good job. But if you find your woman who, for all intents and purposes, moves like a dude and just ignores shit until it develops to something that you can't ignore. I'd like to get stuck, you know what? Maybe everyone should sit down. That's not your problem to deal with, buddy. So with smoking, I'm split on it because I think it's complicated. Personally, just like with tattoos, I have a preference for a woman who does not smoke, partly because I hate the smell. And I'm talking about marijuana, cigarettes, red flag, you know what I'm saying? We're not even gonna talk about that. I don't like the smell of marijuana personally, but I also understand the medicinal purposes. I used to, you know, partake back in the day. I got some brothers who partake currently. So again, it's not a complete red flag, but if you're also a man like me who doesn't like that, it's definitely something to maybe make a decision based on. And also to take it a bit deeper, what I've discovered with a lot of smokers, especially in our community, they're actually using it to self-medicate. There's usually maybe an underlying thing that Mary Jane helps them with, whether it's anxiety, whether it's depression, whether it's schizophrenia, whether it's bipolar disorder. So again, I would get beyond the, oh, she just smokes too, why? And also consider the type of people that she has to be in network with to consistently be supplied. Are those the type of people that you're comfortable with your woman being in network with? Now, if you smoke as well, then forget everything I'm saying. But again, young boys, dudes who are looking for a girlfriend, looking for a wife, I'm telling you, keep this in mind. It could potentially cost you money because this again, part of your budget or part of her budget has been allocated, whether intentionally or unintentionally, to her habit. There is some underlying disorder perhaps that she is covering up with this habit. And she might be in environments or moving in a network that puts her at greater risk for maybe infidelity, maybe violence and other things. And then also with me, when I see the little burn marks on women's lips, it's a turn off for me. And now you see women wearing like super dark lipstick to cover it up, we know. And typically you'll find women who smoke. They typically don't keep the most tidy house. Their minds are just as cluttered as their space. Their lives are just as disconnected and disorganized as their finances. And you start seeing certain patterns. So again, it's not a foregone conclusion, but it's something to be aware of at the very least. And it segues perfectly into mental health. Fellas, I know our nature, if you're a good dude is to try to fix, try to heal, try to put somebody in a better pot so they can grow and water them. But I want us to start assuming that you're not qualified to do that. Some people need professional help. They don't need love. They need psychotherapy. They don't need love. They need medication. And not to say they don't need love ultimately, but this idea, this Hollywood idea that love heals all its nonsense. And if you do not have the bandwidth, the patience or the competence to deal with people who are classified as neurodivergent, my brother do not stress yourself out. So again, these are conversations to be had. These are things to pay attention to. Is she neurodivergent and I'm neurotypical? Am I neurodivergent and she's neurotypical? Is she suffering from ADHD, depression, anxiety, panic disorder, autism? Assume that whatever she is suffering from, it's so much worse than you think. Because when you see these things firsthand, I just hope you're not too deep into invested because you could stress yourself the hell out. So again, in those beginning phases, these are conversations that you should be having. These are things that you should be noticing, making note of and earnestly asking yourself, is this what I want? And she might be fine as hell. She might be a good woman. She might have a good heart, but ask yourself, is this what I want? Am I ready for this responsibility? Am I ready for, in some ways, this burden? Because it could potentially also be a burden for your children. You have to think ahead, man. The hardest thing about this job is you can't always save everybody. Diet. fellas, pay attention to what she allows to enter her. And I know the rumor these days is, you know, we're big boned it in my family. That's bullshit. A lot of our bad habits are hereditary. She eats like shit because her mom eats like shit and her grandma ate like shit. So if you don't want your daughter to eat like shit, you might need to keep it pushing. She doesn't drink water because her mom don't drink water. Her grandma probably didn't drink water. She's not health conscious because her mom wasn't health conscious. Her grandma wasn't health conscious. Part of the inspiration that we look for as men and women is the inspiration to do better and be better. And certain things like diet is what we look to women to lead us in. Can you ask her questions about what you should eat? Or does she not have any answers? Because again, she lacks consciousness even in her life. Is she a 20-something, 30-something year old woman who can't cook? Does the food that she normally consumes give you pause to question her pH balance? Ladies, I'm sick of it. Because the shit y'all eat on the snack tip is just fucking crazy, man. And then we be kind of, we be noticing y'all kuchi be changing a little bit. Because you done set up a Kool-Aid pickle, hot Cheeto soup. You know what, ladies? I don't think y'all should have kuchis like throughout y'all whole life. Just you should be able to make it to like a kuchi get zone. Like you made it to that level. Again, you now responsible enough to have a kuchi. Because, oh my God. Let her cook, let her cook. Don't even bother her. And we've seen a bunch of grown women who have the palate of a nine-year-old. You take it to a nice restaurant. She's eating fries and chicken nuggets. You're hungry. Let's go eat somewhere. Her idea is Chick-fil-A. These are things to take into account. But also her entertainment died. Just like I said, what goes inside her, not just inside her mouth or her vagina, but what goes inside her ears? What kind of music does she listen to regularly? What kind of TV does she watch regularly? Does she listen to more trap than you do? Does she love the super over-the-top emotional heartbreak music? And now my subconsciously model her life after what she's consuming. Does she have a unhealthy parasocial relationship with Beyonce? And she's part of the beehive that really should be considered a terrorist group. By the Southern Law Poverty Center based on the online bullying that we see, these are things to make note of because it's a peek into her character. Is she quoting Big Lotto and the city girls? Or is she quoting actual intellectuals or even the Bible if you're religious? What's her diet? Because again, just like actual food, what goes in us is exactly what's gonna come out of us and especially for women, especially for women. All this stuff is gonna affect her mood. It's gonna affect her hormones. It's gonna affect the version of her that you are left to deal with. So pay attention to her diet. And again, the point of this is not to police her diet, it's just to pay attention and decide within yourself if this is something that you're proud of and that you wanna take on because you'll have to deal with the consequences as her man. Send this to your boys, have conversations about it. Share stories. Father, send this to your sons. Have conversations about it. Share stories. And as we continue to elaborate on some of these conversations, my hope is that we can establish a strong and prosperous black community full of strong men who are intentional about the women that we choose and the behavior that we reward or that we stay far away from. Thank you guys for watching. Leave it in the comments, run these likes up, hit the subscribe button on your way out, check out some of the other content and I'll see you guys in the next one. Peace.