 What's going on you guys? It's your boy Lloyd here. So today we're going to be talking about a subject that some of you have asked me but not exactly asked me. So I'll get questions from guys about a specific situation with a girl. He's shown a lot of love towards her and he's wondering why she's not showing any of it back to him. Okay. So a lot of times what this happens with men and the way they pursue women, a lot of times I see them going for love when in reality they should be going for respect. So psychological studies have proven across the board that although men and women truly desire love, men prefer respect, like if they have a choice, usually they go for respect over love. Now this is not by what they say but a lot of times it's by their actions. So women prefer love and men tend to prefer respect. Now this is not every single case but in general more often than not I've seen the men favor the respect as opposed to the love. And there's a reason for this because the way love is and the way love is shown, love is shown through affection, through compliments, through gifts, those kinds of things and they're very endearing to a lot of people. However, love comes and goes and what I mean by this, I mean if you're with somebody who says that they love you, yes they might love you all the time but there's going to be a lot of times where maybe they like you less or maybe they don't love you quite as much because they're angry at you, you guys are having issues and problems. It's a natural in a relationship, it happens all the time. However, respect is kind of, it's more stable and even if they're mad at you, even if they don't love you quite as much, usually the respect is still there. Now when I see guys talking to women and when they see them pursuing them, they don't really go for this, they go for the love. They show the affection, they show the gifts, they show all of that stuff and then at first the woman tends to like it a lot. So let's take an example about this. One question that I got from a guy was things were going really great with this girl. He started to show love and affection towards her and she responded very, very positively to it, right back to him. They kept talking and they kept getting more and more intense and then eventually at some point in time she just kind of dropped off. She stopped talking to him, then she started to pull away, she started to feel more distant and he's wondering why this happened and it was because although in the moment she liked him to kind of skip the work things that he was playing on doing, not preparing for things, making her more of a priority than pretty much everything else that was going on in his life. At first she really enjoyed that and so then she felt love for him. But it didn't earn him respect. In fact, she respected him less because although in the moment that's what she wanted and he did what she wanted, that's not how you earn people's respect, okay? Respect is earned by doing the things that are right for you and in the end they learned to appreciate it. Whether they liked it in the moment or not, it's the right thing to do, okay? And so as a guy, you should definitely go more for respect than you should for love and this is true even at the beginning too. This is not just like a thing where you ignore the girl and only go after yourself and that's how you get respect. It's actually how you show affection towards someone or show interest towards somebody. If you come at somebody with your feelings, who they are unapologetically, whether or not they accept your feelings or whether they come back to you, they're still going to respect you for putting yourself out there and doing that. If I walk up to them and they're like, hey, listen, I really like you, I think you're great, I'd like to date you. She might not say that in response, she might not share the same feelings as me, but she will respect the fact that I was going after what I wanted and a lot of times you'll find if you do this the right way, even though they might not respond so positively right away, later on you'll start to see them come around. And the reason for this is because although they, in the moment they didn't love you, later on they respect eventually a lot of times will... If you have respect for somebody, it usually turns into some form of love, okay? And especially romantically, if somebody really respects you, yes, that's going to turn into love. And a lot of times it turns into sex and romance and all of that stuff that we love. But love can come and it can go. And if there's no respect as a baseline for it, it will go away, almost guaranteeably. And usually if it starts out really hot and heavy at the beginning, if there's not a lot of respect there, it won't keep it going for very long. So there's certain circumstances during short-term mating, if you're the type of guy that just wants to sleep with a bunch of women. No judgment, that was me for years. Sometimes still is now. But basically if you, in those very minute specific situations, there's times where, okay, well maybe I'll just sleep with this person, maybe not earn her respect, but I'll, you know, I'll be able to get laid tonight. But usually I would say 99% of the time you'll want to go for respect. I would say if you want to have really engaging and amazing relationships with people. So go for respect, stop going for love. That's the weak, low-value guy mentality, okay? Go for high-value guy mentality. You don't need to be loved, be de-respect, okay? And eventually love will come. Thanks guys. Good luck out there.