 Those levels go critical, even slightly. The brain parasite will escape into the base and bring about a pain unlike any known form of pain. So just chill out. You know, drink a 7-up, eat a moon pie, quit murdering people. You hear it all the time. Don't watch too much TV, it's going to rot your brain. But what if the problem was the opposite? What if the television expanded your perceptions too far? That is the case with SCP-425, a seemingly normal television built in the 1950s. SCP-425 is capable of broadcasting without signal or power, although only for eight minutes at a time on days that are multiples of eight, the eighth of the month, the 16th and the 24th. The majority of people who encounter this broadcast have a shared vision of infinity itself along with some atonal background noise. And this vision gives them a sense of well-being as if they are not alone in the universe. The minority though, those unfortunate enough to have birthdays that coincide with the broadcast, have a different vision of being dragged into the event horizon of a black hole to the sound of sinister whispers. No amount of our psychotherapy has cured their nightmares. My God, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what the fuck does it do to babies? This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material. It's like rock, paper, scissors. Baby oil defeats condom. Baby defeats baby oil. Condom defeats baby. Rock also defeats baby. Every day, it's getting closer. Please don't put your penis at the toaster. Turn on you son of a, okay, we're live. I don't have much time. I have been dosed with amnestics, but I have to get the truth out there. I have discovered the real SCP-001 and it's the immortal snail assassin. I was so dumbfounded when I discovered it. Why is this snail SCP-001? But then it all clicked. The administrator has been around for centuries. They're immortal. They have limitless funds. They fund an entire clandestine secret worldwide organization. You would obviously do that to contain the one thing that could kill you, the people deserve to know and, oh fuck. Dr. Scott was a scientific Luddite and a coward who couldn't do what needed to be. Dr. Sherman out in the field. I just have to point out that not only was Dr. Scott a terrible scientist, but he was also a Nazi and as per standard foundation policy, fuck Nazis. Wake up, have a coffee and don't stab people. Stabbing's bad. Quick reminder that Siren Head is not and was never an SCP. The SCP-6789 document was a fake. The SCP-5987 that's named Siren Head is about a boat. Don't believe everything you read on Google. They're already in the chamber. They ain't found me yet, but when they do, they're gonna be surprised. This is a new record for D-classing competence. The entity has been within six feet of the subject for the last hour. The ghost twerked at him and he didn't notice. I'm taking my 15. I truly appreciate the looking out, you weird, cryptid SCP janitor, you. But really, Psy42Fam, I love it when y'all tag me and stuff. We're at two million followers now, so my comments and mentions are a flood. If I don't get tagged by hundreds of people in something, I usually won't see it. And true, the majority of them are, your second at has to fight your third at who will win. But there are plenty of people who are tagging me in excellent content that I should react to, or in new creators like the SCP janitor who's kicking butt. So yes, keep it up, fam. Now what do you tell yourself when you're having impulses to throw yourself off a bridge? Yeet. No. Biblical angels be like, be not afraid. And then they're this Lovecraftian horror story of floating eyeballs writhing around. And when you get close to them, they alter your perception in mind-blowing and terrifying ways. Typical. Are we the same person? I've told you a thousand times, we have to stop hiring all of these- Redacted. For mobile task force duty. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. What do you mean they're the only ones who want the job? Red challenge, you don't mind. Oh, is this what we're doing now? I have to warn you, I have been known to frequent the commissary karaoke nights. And so I think I'm well-prepared for your challenge. Mmm. All right, that's a tasty riff you got there. Oh, and a tasty snack as well. Okay, maybe give them a little of the Pee Wee Herman dance, yes. A little Pee Wee Herman from Dr. Sherman. I hope you're ready for this. Redacted. What? The SCP Foundation cannot confirm or deny the existence of the egg goblin. Meanwhile, Mobile Task Force Gamma 8, coding goblin up those eggs, needs to get their act together. Science teams have uncovered a giant slab. I understand that any human being who touches it turns into stone. Why do you think I want it as a replacement for my office door? Amnesticize the science team and get it for me now. I get it, we've all played Doki Doki Anomaly on Steam. We've all had a good laugh at Bayonetta Waifu 682. But in reality, the hard to destroy reptile will wreck your- Don't be afraid, tell me where they touched you. Get me Bright's amulet, Clef's ukulele, and whatever the- Data Expunge. R79 Connors is working on. We're going hunting. It is no not November, you cut that out. I'm gonna need to ask Dr. Sherman about that. I would love to answer that query for you, but unfortunately I am forbidden from speaking about SCP-173 during the current month. You see, it's no not November. Faced a variety of foes from a wide range of places. Gods, monsters, you know the roster, hostile creatures that we can resist. But this was a hell of a twist, because we are weak to a power like this. What was it? A woman. Believe it or not, I think there's one or two people out there who for some unknown reason don't seem to like me. One or two? I imagine half the Empire would like to see you dead. Hey there, Site-42 Fam. It's come to my attention that not a lot of people know that we have a Site-42 SCP merch store. We've commissioned art from multiple artists to make SCP-related merch, and we've got stickers for the Site-42 channel. And so if you want some SCP merch, as well as helping support the Site-42 channel, teespring.com slash stores slash Site-42. Thank you in advance and cheers.