 When the narcissist loses control of you the narcissist needs to be able to control you They need the power to influence and direct your behavior and the course of events They need to have authority over you if they cannot control you They will have no use for you When you start thinking for yourself or indulging in daydreams or fantasies about something you greatly desire They will treat you with contempt They will disrespect you They will neglect you They will treat you like you are beneath them because they see it as though anyone who is outside of their control It's completely worthless They are beneath the narcissist's consideration Narcissists hate people who think and act in an inhibited way Without worrying about normal social rules They hate people who go with the flow of life People who desire to be free from all external and internal oppressive forces They hate people who are different from them They hate people who use their imagination or original ideas to create something Anyone who thinks for themselves or does their own thing will be hated by the narcissist Because that hinders the narcissist's progress in controlling you The narcissist wants to control everything about you Everything you're doing and if you are someone who thinks for themselves That is going to pose a problem for the narcissist The narcissist expects you to be their slave They see you as their property They expect you to obey them They expect you to submit to their authority and comply with their rules and regulations They expect you to carry out a command or instruction They want to be your master They want to be your superior And if you do not handle the reins of the narcissist They will become rageful They will experience violent uncontrollable anger When some situations that may just discard you If they just discard you and leave you alone You are very fortunate Because most narcissists will try to destroy you if they cannot control you There is no such thing as a relationship with a narcissist A relationship is the way in which two people are connected When they don't know how to connect with you They have no interest in anything you have to say They don't value your input Narcissists cannot be in relationships Because they've got to have the upper hand They've got to be in control They cannot connect to you Because it always has to be about them Everything will revolve around their feelings or needs But they will be happy to maintain a fake relationship with you As long as they've got someone who is willing to listen to their endless monologues and dictations As long as they've got someone who will cater to their needs But it will never be about you You will never feel like you're being heard You will always feel invisible Because the narcissist has to put themselves first In every conversation And in every situation Which leaves you being left behind It leaves you feeling like who you are as a person Doesn't really matter They don't value your personality They don't value your individuality They don't care to nurture that side of you All that matters is what you can do for the narcissist What you can give to them Because that is all they really pay attention to You will never have a moment with the narcissist Where you feel like they've really listened to you Where you feel like they've understood your point of view Because the narcissist is too preoccupied with their own thoughts and ideas They don't care about how you see it Because in their minds they're always right If the narcissist cannot control you They will no longer have any care or consideration for you They won't care about you anymore It's only when they can benefit from you in some way That they think they love you Their idea of love is when you do something for them It's like when someone says they love their car They don't really love the car They just love what it does for them It makes their lives more convenient Because that's all you really are to the narcissist A convenience You're just something that fits in well with their needs, activities and plans You're something that involves little trouble or effort As long as they are able to control you When they have control over you It makes them feel empowered It makes them feel stronger and more confident And they will use it to enhance their own image of reputation They will use it to make themselves look better And to impress other people You can be something useful or convenient to the narcissist Just by feeding their ego or giving them your money The foundation and structure of any relationship with a narcissist Will always be built upon their ability to control you The relationship cannot exist without excessive control And they must be able to exploit every aspect of your life They must be able to make full use of and derive benefit from you Often in a way that might be considered unfair or underhand If you decide to leave the narcissist Or if you just question their ideas or perspectives or their need for control This will cause a narcissistic injury And they will experience narcissistic rage They will attack your morality They will see it as though what you are saying or doing is unfair or not right And they will try to assassinate your character They will try to smear your name They will portray the situation as though you abandoned them You refuse to help and support them When they were so kind and caring to you They may call you selfish They may say that you only care about yourself And they will feed this narrative to all of your family and friends They will tell them that all they wanted was a relationship with you But there's no such thing as a relationship with a narcissist Because a relationship is the way in which two people are connected When the narcissist refuses to connect to you They don't take your feelings or needs into consideration They don't require your input It's all about them and their monologues and dictations Everything has to be their way Often at your expense And you just have to deal with the consequences of what they do to you Without complaining about what they do to you And you just have to deal with the consequences of what they do to you Without complaining about what they do to you Without complaining about it You have to remain feeling unheared Because they don't care to listen to you or understand you The only thing a narcissist wants to listen to or try to understand Is that voice in their own heads Because whatever goes on in their minds They believe that all things should be They believe that they are the bearers of truth And that is why they will assert, declare, affirm and protest Without the need for proof of evidence of their argument Without the need for facts or statistics It all revolves around whatever they are thinking in their minds Whatever they think will be more convenient for them You came here to be yourself To be your own individual Not to be someone else's version of you Not to be someone else's mould The narcissist will try to influence your character and opinions They will try to change and influence you over a period of time So that you develop in a particular way They will try to mould you into whatever they want you to be Whatever is more convenient for them But you need to think for yourself God has given you free will He has given you the ability to have your own thoughts and ideas And to make your own choices and decisions Don't let the narcissist take that away from you The narcissist tries to control you Because they lack control of themselves They don't feel free on their own They get their freedom from trying to control you Thank you for watching I hope this video wears it with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos Check out the new Narc Survival website at www.narcsurvivor.co.uk Where you can read my blog posts, book coaching sessions and join our support forum If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching inquiries, you can email me at coaching at NarcSurvivor.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon