 Chapter 11 of The Way of Perfection. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Anne Boulay. The Way of Perfection by St. Teresa of Avala, translated by the Reverend John Dalton. Chapter 11. She continues the subject of mortification, etc. It seems to me, my sisters, a very great imperfection to be always complaining of light evils. If you can bear it, do not do so. When the evil is great, it complains of itself. This is another kind of complaint, and it soon appears. Consider you are few, and if anyone among you have such a custom, it is enough to afflict all the rest, if you would observe love and charity. But she who is ill, really and truly ill, should mention the case at once, and take what is necessary. For if you have no self-love, you will so dislike all kind of delicacy, that you need not fear using any without necessity, or complaining without cause. When there is cause, it is very good to mention it, and much better than to use any delicacy, without mentioning it, and it would be very wrong if none were to pity you. But of this I am confident, that where there are prayer and charity, and as you are so few that you see one another's necessities, you will never want proper nourishment, nor care in being attended to. But do not complain of certain weaknesses, and little in dispositions belonging to women. For sometimes the devil fills the imagination with these pains, which come and go, and unless you entirely break off the habit of speaking and complaining of them, except to God, you will never have rest. I lay great stress on this point, because I consider it very important, and one of the things by which the discipline of monasteries is greatly relaxed, and our body has the fault, that the more it is honored, the more necessities it discovers. It is strange to see how it loves to be well treated, and when it has some good excuse, however trifling may be the necessity, it deceives the poor soul and hinders her improvement. Think how many poor sick people there are, who have no friend to complain to, now being poor and deity do not agree together. Think also on the many married persons, even of quality, and some such I know, who though they have grievous maladies and suffer great afflictions, dare not complain for fear of displeasing their husbands. Alas, wretched sinner that I am, I know we came not here to be more caressed than they are. Since then you are free from the great troubles of the world. Oh, learn to endure a little for the love of God, without letting everyone know it. Suppose a woman has not married well, who, in order that her husband may know nothing, says nothing nor complains, though she is very unhappy, without unburdening her mind to anyone. And shall we not conceal, between God and ourselves, something of those evils which he sends us for our sins? This we should do the more, since the evil is not lessened thereby. In all that I have said, I do not include violent maladies, as for instance, when one has a burning fever, though even then I wish moderation and patience might always be observed. But I speak only of certain indispositions, which one may go about with, and not disturb all the world by our complaints. But what shall I do, if what I have been writing should be seen out of the house? What will all the nuns say of me? Oh, how willingly would I bear this, if I knew anyone would thereby correct her faults? For when there is one of this character, things come to such a pass, that for the most part no one is believed, however grievous her infirmities may be. Let us call to mind our holy fathers, the ancient hermits, whose life we pretend to imitate. What pains did they endure, and this too all alone? What extreme cold, and hunger, and heat, having no one to complain to, but God? Thank you, they were made of iron? No, they had the same flesh as we ourselves have. Believe me, daughters, when once we begin to subdue these, our wretched bodies, they do not trouble us so much. There will be enough to observe what you stand in need of. Take no care of yourselves, except there be a manifest necessity. Unless we resolve at once to undervalue death and the wants of health, we shall never do anything. Endeavour not to fear death, and give yourselves up entirely to God. Come, what may. What matters should we die? Since our body has so often mocked us, may we not mock it once? Believe me, this resolution is more important than we imagine. If we often practice it, we shall by little and little, with God's assistance, become masters of our body. Now to conquer such an enemy helps us greatly to triumph in the battle of this life. May God grant this favour, since he is able. I am confident that no one knows the game but he who already enjoys the victory. And this, in my opinion, is so great, that no one would regret the labour which would be required in order to obtain this repose and dominion. End of Chapter 11 Chapter 12 of the Way of Perfection. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Anne Boulet. The Way of Perfection by St. Teresa of Avila, translated by the Reverend John Dalton. Chapter 12. She shows how the true lover of God must despise life and honour. I will now speak on other subjects which are also very important, though they may seem of little consequence. All appears to be great labour and justly so because it is a war against ourselves. But when we begin to act, God works so powerfully in the soul and grants her so many favours that all which can be done in this life seems but little. Now since we nuns do the most, such as giving away our liberty for the love of God, subjecting to another's power and enduring so much labour, fasting, silence, enclosure and frequenting the choir, so that were we ever so desirous of regaling ourselves, this could be done but seldom. And perhaps I am the only person that does it in all the monasteries which I have seen. Why then, I ask, must we be so slow in mortifying the interior? Since without this practice we cannot properly perform all the rest, which thereby becomes much more perfect and meritorious, and we are afterwards able to go through those duties with great ease and delight. This is acquired if we accustom ourselves by little and little, not to do our own will and follow our own appetite, even in varied trifling things, until we have completely made the body subject to the spirit. I say again that all, or the greatest part, consists in throwing off all care of ourselves and of our own pleasure. For the least which he can offer, who begins to serve God in earnest, is his life, after he has already given up his will to him. And in giving him this, what are you afraid of? If he be a true religious, or one truly given to prayer, and wishes to enjoy divine consolations, I know he will not refuse desiring to die for him and to suffer crosses. Do you not know, sisters, that the life of a good religious, of one who wishes to be numbered among the intimate friends of God, is a long martyrdom? I call it long, because it may be called so in comparison with those who are beheaded in an instant. But our whole life is short, and some lives are extremely short. And is it not uncertain whether our life may be so short as to end in our hence, or in the very moment that we have resolved to serve God with all our strength? It is possible, and after all, we have no reason to make any account of that which has an end, and much less of life, since one day of it is not certain. And who is there that, remembering every hour may be his last, will not spend it in labor? Believe me then, these thoughts give the most security. Let us therefore learn to contradict our own will in everything. For though we cannot do this all at once, yet by using diligence with prayer, as I have said, you will by little and little attain this object without knowing how. It may indeed seem very severe to say that we must not please ourselves in anything, because the delights which this denial brings with it, and likewise the benefits which we obtain therefrom, even in this life, are not also mentioned. But as you practice all this here, the chief difficulties got over, excite therefore, and help one another forward, and let each one endeavor to outstrip the rest. Let your interior motions be strictly observed, especially if they concern desires of superiority. May the merits of Christ's passion deliver us from saying, or dwelling on the thought, that I am the senior in the order, or the oldest, or that I have labored more than others, or that another is better treated. If these thoughts come, they must be smothered immediately, for if you dwell upon them, or discourse about them, they will become a very plague. And from this arise great evils and monasteries. If you have a superioress who will allow such things, however trifling they may be, believe that God has permitted you, on account of your sins, to have such a one, and that by her your ruin will commence. Cry therefore to God, and let all your prayers have this end, that you may obtain a remedy for such great danger. You may ask why I insist so much on this, and you may think it is too severe, since God caresses even those who are not thus disengaged. I believe this also, because in his infinite wisdom he sees it expedient, to induce them thereby to abandon all things for his sake. If one enters into religion, I do not call that forsaking all things, because even there a person may have attachments, while on the other hand, in every state of life, a perfect soul may be disengaged and be humble. Yet she will have more difficulty, because order and retirement are great helps. But in one point believe me, that if there be any hankering after honors or riches, and this may happen in monasteries as well as in the world, though religious by being removed from the occasions are more to be blamed. Although they may have spent many years in prayer, or to speak more correctly, in speculation, for perfect prayer takes away all these defects. They will never make any great progress, nor be able to enjoy the true fruit of prayer. Consider sisters if you are in any way concerned in these apparent trifles, for you are here for nothing else, but to conduct yourselves as religious. You are not more honored by seeking honor, and the opportunity is lost whereby you might gain much more. Thus loss and dishonor are here united. Let each one observe how much humility she has, and she will discover how much she has improved. I think the devil will never dare to tempt one who is truly humble, even with the first motions to desire superiority, because being very crafty, he fears a blow might be given him. If one be humble, it is impossible not to gain more strength and improvement in this virtue, if the devil should attack her on this point. For it is evident she will reflect on her whole life, and consider what little service she has done, together with her great obligations to our Lord, and what wonderful love it was in him to abase himself. That so he might leave us an example of humility, and she will also consider her sins, and where she has deserved to be for them. By these considerations the soul becomes so victorious that the enemy dare not return the next day for fear of a broken head. Take this advice from me and do not forget it. Endeavor that not only in the interior, where it would be a great evil not to come off with victory, but in the exterior also, the sisters may derive some benefit from the temptation. And if you wish to be revenged on the devil, as soon as the temptation comes, discover it to the superioress, and beg and entreat of her to command you to perform some mean employment, or else perform it yourself as well as you can, and be thinking how to subdue your will and things to which it is averse, and which our Lord will discover to you. You might also make use of public mortifications, since they are practiced in this house. By these means the temptation will last but a short time, and do you endeavor that this may be the case? May God deliver us from those persons who wish to serve him, from motives of honor, or through fear of dishonor. Consider that it is a poor wretched gain, and as I said, honor itself is lost by seeking it, especially in desiring high posts of honor, for there is no poison in the world which so effectually destroys perfection as these things do. You will say, these are very trifling things, which are natural to everyone. Do not deceive yourselves by such a pretext, for it increases like froth and monasteries, and nothing is trifling in such imminent danger, such as these points of honor, and noticing when we are injured. Do you wish to know the reason? Without mentioning many other reasons, there is this. Perhaps the devil begins by a little affront offered to one, which is almost nothing. Then he immediately persuades another to think it is a great offense, so that she will consider it a charity to tell her of it, and to ask how she can possibly endure such an injury. She hopes God will give her patience, that she should offer it up to him, and that a saint could not suffer more. In a word, the devil so poisons the tongue of the other, that though you may be resolved to suffer, yet you are still tempted with vain glory on account of that which you have not borne with such perfection as you ought. And our nature is so weak, that even when we have cut off the occasion of a temptation by saying, this does not deserve the name of suffering, yet we think we have done something and feel this. How much more when we see others have a like feeling in our regard? It makes our pain increase, and persuades us we have reason, and the soul loses all opportunities she had of meriting and becomes weaker. And we give the devil an entrance to come and attack us another time with some worse temptation. It may even happen that, when you are most willing to bear it, persons may come and ask you whether you are a beast, and that it is proper to feel wrongs and insults. Oh, for the love of God, my sisters, let no indiscreet charity move anyone to show compassion for another, in matters relating to these imaginary injuries, for it is like that charity which Holy Job received from his wife and friends. End of Chapter 12. Chapter 13 of The Way of Perfection. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Anne Boulet. The Way of Perfection by St. Teresa of Avila, translated by the Reverend John Dalton. Chapter 13. She speaks on true humility and mortification and shows how religious ought to avoid honors in all the maxims of the world. I often tell you, sisters, and now I wish to leave it here in writing, lest you might forget it, that not only those belonging to this house, but even everyone who wishes to be perfect must fly a thousand leagues from saying, I had reason, I was injured. He who thus treated me had no reason for what he did. May God deliver us from such miserable reasoning. Do you think it was reasonable that our good Jesus should suffer so many injuries and that these should be committed so much against reason? She who was unwilling to bear any cross, but that for which they who imposed it have very good reasons, had better leave the house. For I cannot understand why she would remain in the monastery. Let her return to the world again, where none of these reasons are observed. Can you suffer so much that you ought not to suffer more? What reason is there in this? I do not indeed understand it. When people show us any honor or do us any favor or treat us kindly, let us produce these reasons, for it is really against reason that we should be made much of in this life. But when we receive injuries or wrongs, for so we call them without any injury being done, I know not why they should be mentioned. Either we are spouses of so great a king, or we are not. If we are, what respectable lady is there, who does not share in the disgrace and affronts which are cast upon her husband, though she herself may not desire it? In a word, both of them share in honor or dishonor. For us to desire then, to share in the kingdom of our Lord, and yet refuse to take any part in labors and affronts, is unreasonable. May God preserve us from desiring such a thing. But let her who thinks she is esteem the meanest of all, account herself the happiest of all the sisters, and truly she is so, if she bear it as she ought, for honor will not be wanting to her, either in this life or in the next. Let them believe in this case. But what a foolish thing I have uttered in saying, let them believe me, when true wisdom itself has said the same thing. Let us, my daughters, imitate the great humility of the most sacred virgin, whose habit we wear. For it is a shame we should be numbered among her nuns, since however much we may seem to humble ourselves, we fall far short of being daughters of such a mother, and spouses of such a spouse. Hence, if what I have mentioned above be not carefully prevented, that which today seems nothing, will tomorrow prove a venial sin, and it is so difficult to digest that if you neglect it, it will not remain alone, since it is an evil very dangerous to communities. We who live in communities must carefully attend to this point, these that we do no harm to those who labor to benefit us, and to give us good example. If we knew what great harm is done in beginning a bad custom, we should prefer death rather than to be the cause of it. For the one is only a corporal death, but the loss of souls is a great loss. And this, in my opinion, never has an end, because when some die, others succeed them, and all perhaps retain more of one bad custom which we may have introduced than of many virtues. The devil also does not allow such customs to die away, but natural infirmity roots out virtue, if a person do not keep a strict watch and beg assistance from God. Oh, what a most precious act of charity, and what a great service to God would that nun perform, who seeing she was unable to observe the rules of this house, would acknowledge it and depart before she made her profession, and so leave the rest in peace. And even in all monasteries, at least, if they will believe me, they should not retain her or give her leave to be professed till after a trial of many years in order to see whether she will amend. I speak not of faults relating to penance and fasts, for though they are faults, they are not matters which do much harm. But I speak of certain humors, peculiar to persons who love to be esteemed and respected, who spy out the defects of others and never acknowledge their own, and so with regard to other similar things, which certainly arise from wants of humility. Unless God be favorable to such a person, by granting her abundance of the gifts of his Holy Spirit, so that after many years her amendment appears, may our Lord deliver you from keeping her in your society. Know that she will neither rest herself, nor let you rest, but she will continue to disturb everyone. On this account I pity those monasteries which, in order to avoid the repayment of the money or dowry received, often times retain a thief that robs them of their chief treasure. In this house you have already hazarded and even lost all prospects of worldly honor, for poor people are not honored. Seek not therefore other honors which cost you so much. Our honor, sisters, ought to consist in serving God. Whoever thinks you are to be disturbed in this, let her remain at home with her honor. For this object it was that our fathers appointed a year's probation. And here it is my wish, that no one might be allowed to make their profession under ten years probation. For a humble religious will be little trouble that not being professed, knowing well that if she be good, she will not be sent away. If she be not good, why should she desire to hurt this community of Christ? By not being good, I mean not loving vanity, which by God's grace is far, I hope, from this house. But not being mortified and being attached to the things of this world, or to oneself in matters which I have mentioned before. And she who finds not in herself great mortification, let her believe me and not make her profession. If she would not suffer a hell in this world, and God grant there may not be another in the next, for there are many things in her which tend that way. And perhaps neither she nor the rest will understand this matter so well as I do. Herein let them believe me, otherwise time will convince them of it. For the object we aim at is not only that of being nuns, but hermits also, as were our holy fathers, our predecessors. And thus must we disengage ourselves from all created things, and whosoever our Lord has chosen for this house, we see in a special manner that He confers His favor upon her. And though as yet it be not in all perfection, it is evident that she already tends to perfection by the great pleasure and satisfaction she takes in seeing that she is to have no more to do with the concerns of this life. And also by the delight she finds in all the exercises of religion. I say again, if anyone feels an inclination for the things of this world and perceives that she does not go on improving, she is not fit for this house. She may go to some other if she wished to be a nun, or if not, let her mark what follows. And let her not complain of me who began this, for not having warned her. This house is a heaven, if such can be on earth, to one whose soul delight is to please God and who regards not her own pleasure. Here she may lead a very good life. If she grasps at anything more she will lose all, because she cannot keep it. And a discontented soul is like one who has a great loathing. For however good the food may be, she casts it up. And that which persons in health can eat with great delight makes her stomach loathe. In another place, she may have better opportunities of being saved, and by little and little she may possibly attain that perfection, which here cannot be reached, because it is to be acquired all at once. For though as to the interior, time is to be allowed for entirely disengaging and mortifying oneself, yet as to the exterior, it should be done speedily, on account of the harm it may do to others. And if here one does not make any progress in a year, though she sees all the others do, and though she is in such good company, I fear that such a person will not improve even during many years. I say not that the improvement must be so complete in her, as in the others, but it is to be understood she goes on still recovering her health, and this is soon discerned if the malady be not mortal. End of Chapter 13 Chapter 14 of the Way of Perfection This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Anne Boulet The Way of Perfection by St. Teresa of Avila translated by the Reverend John Dalton. Chapter 14 How important it is not to allow any to make their profession, whose disposition is the contrary of what has been mentioned before. I believe that God highly favors him who has made good resolutions, and therefore we must examine what intention she has who is admitted. It must not be for her own convenience only, as is the case with many nowadays, though our Lord can perfect this intention if the person have a good understanding. Otherwise, on no account let her be admitted, for she will neither understand herself how she comes into religion, nor will others afterwards, who would direct her better. Generally speaking, they who have this defect always think that they understand what is best for them, better than the wisest superior. This is a disease which I consider incurable, for it is very seldom without carrying malice with it. Where there are many religious, it may be tolerated, but among so few as we are, it cannot be endured. When a strong understanding begins to like what is good, it adheres firmly to it, because it sees that this is its most secure course, and should it be of no use towards advancing much in virtue, it may be useful for giving good advice and for many other things without tiring anyone. But when a person has no understanding, I know not in what she can be useful in a community, and one may do much harm. This defect is not soon discovered, for many speak well and understand little, others again speak little and not very elegantly, yet they have a good understanding. But there are others also, who living in holy simplicity, know little of the business and customs of the world, but they are skillful in discoursing of God. There is great need, therefore, of strict examination before they are admitted and long trial before they are professed. Let the world once know that you have power to reject them, that in monasteries where austerities are practiced, there are many occasions in which this must be done, and then when this power is made use of, they will not consider it an injury done to them. I speak thus because these times in which we live are so miserable, and so great is our weakness, that though we have the command of our predecessors for it, this is not sufficient to make us neglect observing what the world at present has taken for an honor, these not to grieve our friends. But we allow virtuous customs to be forgotten in order to avoid giving a slight offense, or to prevent any ill rumors, which indeed are a mere nothing. God grant that those who admit such may not have to pay for their fault in the next life, for we always have some pretense or other by which we persuade ourselves that the persons may be admitted. This is a matter which each one ought to consider for herself and recommend to God. It should also animate the superioress, hence it is so very important for all. I therefore beg of God to give you light therein. For my part I consider that when the superioress, without affection or passion, aims at the good of the house, God will never allow her to fall into error. But if she pay attention to this false tenderness and foolish punctilios, I am persuaded there will always be some errors. End of Chapter 14. Chapter 15 of the Way of Perfection. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Anne Boulet. The Way of Perfection by St. Teresa of Avila. Translated by the Reverend John Dalton. Chapter 15. On the great benefit we derive from not excusing ourselves, though we may be convinced we have been blamed without cause. What I am now about to induce to you do, these, not to excuse ourselves, produces great confusion in me, for it is a very excellent practice in a great merit, because I ought to practice what I tell you concerning this virtue. Thus I acknowledge that I have made very little advancement in it. For me, things I never want a reason to imagine, that to make an excuse, shows more virtue in me. Now as it is sometimes lawful to make an excuse, and it would even be wrong to omit it, I have not the discretion, or to speak more properly, the humility to make it, when it is proper to do so. It is indeed a proof of great humility, to see oneself condemned without any reason, and at the same time to say nothing. This is a noble imitation of our Lord, who blotted out all our offenses. I therefore earnestly entreat you, to use all possible care in this respect, because it brings great advantages with it, and I see no benefit in endeavoring to excuse ourselves. Accept it be, as I said, in certain cases which may cause offense, by not speaking the truth. She who has more discretion than myself, will easily understand this. I am persuaded it is very important to accustom oneself to this virtue, or to endeavor to obtain true humility from our Lord. From him it must come, for one who is truly humble must sincerely desire not to be esteemed, but to be persecuted and condemned, though she may have given no cause. If we wish to imitate our Lord, wherein can we do better, than by imitating him in this way? Here, no corporeal strength is necessary, nor any one's assistance, except only God's. These great virtues, my sisters, I wish to become our study in our penance, as to other severe and extreme penances. You already know that I keep you from them, because they may injure your health, if performed without discretion. In those others you need not fear, because the interior virtues, however great they may be, do not destroy the strength of the body, which is required for observing the rules, but fortify the soul. And as I have said, persons may accustom themselves in very small things, to gain a victory in great things. But how well have I spoken on the subject, and yet how careless in practicing what I say? Indeed, I could never yet make this trial in matters of consequence, because I never heard anyone speak ill of me. But I saw clearly it was far from being true, for though I may not have offended God in these particular cases, yet I have offended him in many others, and I thought they favored me greatly in omitting them, for I am always more delighted that people should say what is not true of me than what is. It helps us greatly if everyone would consider how much is gained every way, for in my opinion nothing is lost. The principal gain is to imitate our Lord in something. I say in something, for we may clearly see that we are never blamed without having faults, of which we are quite full, since the just man falls seven times a day, and it would be a lie to say, we have no sin. Thus, though it be not the same thing which they accuse us of, yet we are never altogether without fault. Oh, my Lord, when I consider in how many ways Thou didst suffer, and yet didst not at all deserve it, I know not what to say for myself, nor where my senses were, when I did not desire sufferings, nor where I am when I excuse myself. You know, oh my God, that if I have any good, I should be stowed by no one but you. And how are you restrained in giving me much rather than little? If it be because I do not deserve it, I deserve as little the favors you have bestowed on me. Is it possible I should wish anyone to think well of a creature so bad as I am, when so many evil things have been spoken against you, who are the supreme good above all goods? Do not suffer it. Do not suffer it, oh my God, let me desire that you should endure anything to be in your servant, which is not pleasing to you. See, oh Lord, my eyes are blind and are satisfied with very little. Give me light and make me really desire that everyone may abhor me since I have so often forsaken you, though you love me with so much fidelity. What is this, oh my God? What do we imagine we shall obtain by pleasing creatures? Why are we concerned in being falsely accused by all of them, if we are innocent before you, oh Lord? Oh, my sisters, far, far are we from understanding this truth. And thus it is that we shall never arrive at the top of perfection, except we often carefully consider and observe what is in reality and not in appearance. When then, there is no other benefit except the confusion which the person receives who accused you by seeing you suffer yourselves to be condemned without cause. Even this is a very great benefit. Such a virtue sometimes elevates a soul more than ten sermons. Now, we must all endeavor to be preachers by our works, since the apostle and our own incapacity forbid us to be such in words. Never fancy that the good or the bad which you do will be concealed, however strictly you may be enclosed. You, daughters, that though you do not excuse yourselves, you shall want one to defend you. Observe how our Lord answered for Magdalene in the house of the Pharisee, when her sister complained of her. He will not act with such severity towards you as he did to himself, for the good thief was not allowed to undertake his defense till he was hanging on the cross. Thus his majesty will raise someone up to undertake your defense. And if not, there will be no necessity for one. This I have seen, and it is true, though I do not wish you to be influenced by this motive, but that you should rejoice when you are accused. As for the benefit you will perceive in your souls, time will convince you and be a witness there too. Then we begin to obtain liberty and care no more about being ill than being well spoken of. It even appears to be as it were in Magdalene's business, and is like two persons talking together, whose discourse not being with us, we are unconcerned about making any answer. They seem not to speak to us. This may seem impossible to us, who are so very sensitive and too un-mortified. At first it is indeed difficult, but I know that by God's assistance, this abnegation and disengagement from ourselves may be acquired. Chapter 15 Chapter 16 of The Way of Perfection This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Anne Boulay The Way of Perfection by St. Teresa of Avala translated by the Reverend John Dalton. Chapter 16 She begins to speak on mental prayer as compared with contemplation, etc. Let not all that I have been saying appear much to you, for as the saying is I am only setting the men for a game at chess. You desire me to explain to you the beginning of prayer. I know no other daughters, though God did not conduct me by this beginning, for I have scarcely the commencement of these virtues. Here you see what a mother God has given you, skilled even in this vanity. But people say, this game is lawful sometimes, and how lawful would it be for us, and useful in some degree, to chastise the men at chess. You may blame me for mentioning a game which neither is, nor can be practiced in this house. Here you see what a mother God has given you, skilled and useful in some degree, to checkmate this divine king, that so he might neither wish nor be able to escape out of our hands. The queen puts him to the greatest difficulties in this game, and for this object all the other pieces help. Now no queen makes the king yield so soon as humility. This brought him down from heaven into the womb of the Blessed Virgin, and by means of it, we may with a hair bring him into our soul. Believe me, that whoever has most humility will possess him most, and less he who has less. For I do not, and cannot understand, how there is or can be humility without love, or love without humility. And it is not possible that these two virtues should be in their perfection, without a great disengagement from all created objects. You may ask me, my daughters, why I speak to you of these virtues, since you have plenty of books to teach you them. And you desire only to hear something on contemplation. I answer, that had you desired some discourse about meditation I could have spoken on it and advised all of you to use it, even though you have not the virtues, for it is a commencement towards obtaining all virtues and a matter that concerns the souls of all Christians if they wish to begin a new life. And hence, none, however abandoned they may be, whom God excites to so great a good ought to neglect meditation, as I have elsewhere mentioned, and so have others who know what they write about, for God knows I do not. But contemplation, daughters, is another thing. This is the mistake we all make, these, that if anyone accustomed herself to think every day for a short time upon her teachings, which everyone ought to do if he be a practical Christian, people immediately call her a great contemplative and would have her instantly possess as high virtues, as he is bound to have who is imminent for contemplation and even she herself imagines so too, but she is mistaken. She has not learnt at first to arrange the men, she thinks it is sufficient to know the pieces in order to checkmate, but this is impossible, for the king will not give himself up in the way we are speaking of, except to him who surrenders himself entirely into his hands. Thus you see, daughters, if you wish me to tell you the way to arrive at contemplation, allow me to enlarge a little on things, which though they may not immediately seem to you to be so important, yet in my opinion, they are so. And if you will not hear them, nor practice them, continue all life with your mental prayer, for I assure you and all who aspire to this happiness, though I may be mistaken, since I judge by myself, who have been endeavoring to obtain it these 20 years, that you will never attain a true contemplation. I now wish to explain what mental prayer is, since some of you do not understand it, and God grant that we may practice it as it should be practiced, but I fear it will be obtained with great labour except those virtues be acquired, though not in so high a degree, which are necessary for contemplation. I say the king of glory will not come into our soul, I mean will not be united with her, unless we strive to obtain eminent virtues. I will explain this point, because should you find me telling an untruth in anything, you will believe nothing, and you have reason if it were done willfully. But may God deliver me from any such temptation, it must arise from ignorance, or want of understanding. I wish to mention that sometimes God is pleased to bestow great favors on persons who are in a bad state, in order to advance them to contemplation, that so by this means he may snatch them from the power of the devil. Oh my lord, how often do we force you still to fight with the devil for us? Is it not sufficient that you allowed yourself to be grasped in his arms when he carried you to the pinnacle of the temple, in order to teach us how to vanquish him? What a spectacle it must have been daughters, to behold that sun surrounded with darkness, and what fear must that wretch have had without knowing once it came? God did not allow him to understand it. Blessed be so much goodness and mercy. And how ought we Christians blush for making him every day, as I have said, encounter so foul a beast? It was very necessary, oh lord, you should have such strong arms, but did they not become weak by all those torments which you endured on the cross? Oh, how does all that is endured for love so soon heal up again? And so I think, that had you continued alive, the mere love you had for us would have healed and there would have been no need for any other medicine. Oh my God, who will apply such a medicine to me, in all such things as may cause me pain or trouble? How willingly would I bear these if I were sure to be cured by so saving a remedy, but to return to what I was saying? There are some souls which God knows he can't attract to himself by such means, and though now he sees them quite lost, his Majesty desires they may not remain for him, and so they be in a bad state and destitute of virtues, he gives them caresses, consolations, and tenderness which begin to excite desires, and sometimes he brings them even to contemplation, though this is seldom and of short duration. This he does, as I have said, in order to make a trial of them whether by that sweetness they will dispose themselves to enjoy him more frequently. But if they do not dispose themselves, let them pardon God for retiring from them, or rather, do you pardon us, O Lord, for it is not indeed just that you should come into a soul in this way, and that afterwards she should again have anything to do with creatures, so as to adhere to them. I am persuaded that there are many of whom God makes a trial in this manner, and few there are who dispose themselves for enjoying such a favor. For when our Lord makes this trial, and we are no hindrance to it, I am certain that he never leaves off giving more favors till he brings us to the highest degree. When we do not give ourselves up to his Majesty with the same determination that he gives himself to us, he does enough in leaving us in mental prayer and visiting us from time to time as servants who are working in his vineyard. But those others are his dear children, whom he wishes should be near him, nor does he part with them because they do not desire to leave him. He makes them sit down at his table and gives them part of his own food so as to take, as the saying is, the morsel out of his own mouth to give it to them. O happy pains my daughters, O blessed abandonment of things so small and so base, which lead to so high a dignity. Consider how little you will regard being blamed by the world while you rest in the arms of God, who can deliver you from the whole world. He is powerful to free you perfectly, for once he commanded the world to be made, and it was. His will is acting. Fear not then, unless it be for the greater good of those who love him, that he will not allow you to be defamed. He does not love so imperfectly those who love him. Why should we not then, my sisters, show our love for him as much as we can? Consider that it is a fair exchange to give our love for his. Remember he can do all things and we, who are here, can do nothing at all, except what he enables us to do. Now what is this, O Lord, our Creator, which we do for you? As much as nothing, a poor feeble resolution. If then His Majesty wishes us to purchase all things, without which is a mere nothing, let us not become foolish. O Lord, all our evils come from our not fixing our eyes upon me. If we considered only the way, we should soon arrive there, but we fall a thousand times and stumble and stray from the way by not fixing our eyes, as I said, on the true way. It seems never to have been trodden, for it looks so new to us. That is truly to be regretted, which sometimes happens, and therefore I say, we seem not to be Christians nor to have read the passion in our life, since we cannot endure to be despised even in a trifle. Nay, it seems impossible to be endured. They reply immediately, we are not saints. When we do something imperfect, may God deliver us, sisters, from saying, we are not angels, we are not saints. Consider that though we be not angels or saints, it is a great happiness to think that if we strive, we may be such by God's assistance, and fear not that He will fail, if you fail not. And since we have come here for no other purpose, let us set to work. Let us not think there is anything whereby our Lord may be served better, which we may not hope to succeed in by His help. Such presumption I wish to see in this house, for it always makes humility increase and produces a holy boldness. For God assists the valiant and is no acceptor of persons. I have wandered much from my subject and now wish to return to what I was saying. We must know what mental prayer is and what contemplation is. It may seem foolish in me to speak on these subjects, but you do not mind, and you may possibly understand the subject better by my rude style, than by another more elegant. May our Lord grant me assistance herein. Amen. End of Chapter 16 Chapter 17 of the Way of Perfection. This is LibriVox Recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Anne Boulay. The Way of Perfection by Saint Teresa of Avila, translated by the Reverend John Dalton. Chapter 17. She shows how all souls are not fit for contemplation, etc. I am now about to enter on the subject of prayer, but I must first say something of great importance to you. It is concerning humility, which is so extremely necessary in this house because it is the principal exercise of prayer. And as I have said, it is very important that you endeavor to understand how to exercise yourselves well in humility. This is very important and very necessary for all those who give themselves to prayer. How can one who is truly humble imagine himself to be already as good as those who have become contemplatives? God can indeed, by his goodness and mercy, make one to be such, but let him take my advice and always sit in the lowest place, since our Lord has told us to do so and has taught us it by his practice. If God wishes to lead anyone this way, let her dispose herself for him. If not, humility serves instead. While she considers herself happy in serving the handmaids of our Lord, and she praises him, because though she deserved to be a slave to the devils in hell, his majesty has placed her among his servants. I speak this not without great reason. For, as I have said, it is very important to understand that God does not conduct all in the same way, and perhaps she who thinks herself the lowest is the highest in the eyes of God. Hence, because all in this house give themselves to prayer, it does not follow that all must be contemplatives. This is impossible, and it will be a great consolation for her who is not a contemplative to know this truth, for God only gives this gift. And since it is not necessary for salvation, nor required for our future reward, let her not think it is here demanded of her, because without this she is sure to become very perfect if she does what has been said. It may even be that she has much more merit because it costs her more pains, and our Lord treats her as a valiant person, and keeps in reserve for her all that which she does not enjoy here. Let her not therefore be discouraged, nor omit her prayer, or neglect to do what all the rest do. For sometimes our Lord comes very late, and pays one as well and as much together, as he has been giving to others during many years. I was more than fourteen years, during which I could never use even meditation, unless joined with reading. There will be many persons of this kind, and others also, who although they make use of reading, yet cannot practice meditation, but only pray vocally, because that is a little hindrance to them. There are imaginations so volatile, that they cannot remain on one thing, but are always uneasy. And this to such a degree, that should they strive to keep their thoughts on God, they run into a thousand absurdities, scruples and doubts. I know a very old person, who has led an exceedingly good life. God grant mine may be like hers, and has been given to penance, and is moreover a great servant of God, having spent many hours and years in vocal prayer, but mental she could not use. The most she could do was to continue a short time in her vocal prayers. There are many other persons of this kind, who if they have humility will not, I believe, be anything worse in the end. But they will equally share with those who enjoy many consolations, and they will have even more security in some respect, because we know not whether these consolations be from God, or from the devil. If they come not from God, there is more danger, because what the devil strives most at here, is to excite them to pride. But if they be from God, there is no reason to fear, because they carry humility along with them, as I have shown at some length in another book. Those others who receive no consolations proceed with humility, fearing lest it might be through their own fault, being always anxious to not see others weep, but accept they do the same. They imagine they are far behind in the service of God, and yet they are perhaps much more forward, since all heads are not perfect, though they be good. There is always more security in humility, mortification, abnegation and other virtues. There is no reason to fear or doubt. You will not fail to attain perfection, as well as become great contemplatives. Martha was a saint, though she is not said to be a contemplative. Now what do you desire more than to be able to resemble this blessed woman, who deserves so often to entertain Christ our Lord in her house? Had she been like Blessed Magdalene, always absorbed, there would have been no one to provide food for the divine guest. Imagine then that this community is the house of Saint Martha, which must have something of everything, and let not those who have been led along the active way, envy those who are engulfed in contemplation, since they know our Lord will undertake their defense, though he may be for the most part silent, in order to make them careful both of themselves and of other things. Let them remember, there must be some to dress his meat, and let them account themselves happy to serve with Martha. Let them remember, that true humility chiefly consists in being very ready to be contented with whatever our Lord shall be pleased to do with them, and let them always consider themselves unworthy to be called his servants. If then to make use of contemplation, mental and vocal prayer, attending the sick, serving in the house and working even in the meanest offices, if all this be not waiting on his guest, who comes to stay and to eat and to refresh himself with us, is it not important for us to serve him in one way, rather than another? I do not say, however, that it is in your power to arrive at contemplation, but that you should use all your exertions to attain it, for this does not consist in your choice, but in our Lord's. And if after many years trial he should wish each one to serve in her particular office, will it not be a pretty kind of humility to desire to make your own choice? Let the master of the house do what he pleases. He is wise and powerful. He understands what is best for you and best for himself also. Be assured that if you do what lies in you and dispose yourselves for contemplation with the perfection mentioned before, even should he not be stow it upon you, though I believe you will not fail to give it to you if you have true mortification and humility. Be assured that he reserves this favor for you to give it to you all together in heaven. And as I have said elsewhere, he intends to lead you on like valiant persons, giving you in this world a cross to carry, just as his majesty carried one. And what stronger proof of friendship can we have than to choose for you what he chose for himself? Perhaps you would not have so great a reward in contemplation. These are his judgments and we must not dive into them. It is a great blessing that we are not at liberty to do this. For thinking there would be more repose in contemplation, we should all be great contemplatives. Oh immense gain, not to desire any gain by your own choice through fear of some loss. God never allows anyone who is truly mortified to sustain any loss except it be for his greater gain. End of Chapter 17 Chapter 18 of The Way of Perfection This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Ann Boulet The Way of Perfection by St. Teresa of Avila translated by the Reverend John Dalton Chapter 18 The same subject is continued in which the saint shows how much greater are the sufferings of the contemplative than of the act of life. I say then, daughters, to those amongst you whom God does not lead in this way, that as far as I have seen and understood from those who walk in it, they do not carry a lighter cross than you do, and that you would be surprised at the ways and manner whereby God afflicts them. I am acquainted both and the other and understand clearly that the afflictions which God gives to contemplative souls are intolerable and of such a character that unless he gave them these caresses they could not be endured. And it is evident since it is true that those whom God loves he leads along the road of afflictions and the more he loves them the greater are the afflictions. I cannot believe that he abhors contemplative souls with his own mouth he commends them and considers them his friends. It is foolish therefore to imagine that he admits into friendship with him persons who live delicately and without troubles. Nay, I am very confident that God sends them greater crosses. And as he leads them through such a rough and uneven way that sometimes they think they are lost and must begin the journey again. So his majesty thinks it is very to give them some refreshment not water, but wine that so being inebriated with this heavenly wine they may not consider what they suffer but may be able to endure it. Hence it is that I see few contemplatives who are not courageous and resolve to suffer. For, if they be weak the first thing our Lord does is to infuse courage into them and make them not fear afflictions. I believe that those of the act of life when they see how they are caressed for a little while think there is nothing else but those consolations. But I tell you that perhaps you could not endure for one day what they do. Thus, as our Lord knows what all are fit for he gives everyone their employment as he sees it is most expedient for their souls, his own glory and the good of their neighbor. And since this does not depend upon your having disposed yourselves how to fray less you should lose your labor. Consider what I say that we must all aim at this object since we are here for no other purpose and that not for one or two years only. No, nor for ten lest we may seem to act like cowards. It is well if our Lord sees not that we are in fault, like soldiers who, though they may have been long in the service, must always be ready to perform whatever the captain may command them or to take whatever post he gives them since he will pay them very handsomely. But how much better pay will our King give than anyone here on earth. Now, as the captain when he sees his men present and thoroughly knows what his men are fit for distributes their posts according to their abilities. So, my sisters, apply yourselves to mental prayer. And whoever cannot do this use vocal prayer, reading, and colloquies with God. As I shall explain hereafter, let them not leave their hours of prayer because they know not when the bridegroom may come, lest they share the same fate as the foolish virgins. Perhaps he will send them more trouble under the appearance of consolation. But if he give it not, let such know they are unfit for it, that the other course is best for them. Here we have an opportunity of mariting by humility and believing sincerely, that they are not fit for that which they do. Yet they go cheerfully serving him in what is commanded them, as I have said. And if this humility be sincere, blessed is she who is such a servant in the act of life, for she will complain of no one but herself. Let her leave others to their war in which they are engaged, and this is no trifling one. For though the ensign does not fight in the battle, yet he is not therefore exempt from being in great danger, and must need suffer more in his interior than all the rest, because, as he carries the colors, he cannot defend himself, nor let them go out of his hands, though the enemy should cut him to pieces. And so contemplatives are to carry erect the standard of humility and bear all the blows the enemy gives, and to return none, because their duty is to suffer like Christ, and to carry the cross on high, nor let it go out of their hands on account of any dangers whatever. Neither must they show any weariness in suffering, for this purpose it is that they are advanced to so honorable a post. Let them consider what they do, for if the ensign should desert his colors, the battle is lost. And so I believe there is great hurt done to those who are not so advanced even. If they see that those whom they already consider to be captains and favorites of God, do not act in their works conformably to the post they hold. The common soldiers act as well as they can, and sometimes move from one place to another, when they see themselves in greater danger. No one takes notice of this, nor is anyone discouraged thereby. But the ensigns draw all eyes upon them, and cannot stir without being observed. The post is good and very honorable, and the king does a favor to him on whom he bestows it. Hence, their obligation is so much the greater, in order to discharge properly the duties of their office. Thus sisters, we neither know nor understand what we ask. Let our Lord therefore do what he pleases, for he knows us better than we do ourselves. And it is humility to be content with what is given us, for it seems there are some who, in justice, wish to ask favors of God. A pretty kind of humility this. The searcher of all men does well, then, in my opinion, by seldom granting favors to such persons, he plainly sees they are unworthy to drink of his chalice. To know then, daughters, whether you have made any progress, you must judge by this mark, these, if everyone considers herself the most wicked among you all, and if it appear by her actions that she thinks so, for the good and the advantage of the rest. But not if she have more caresses in prayer, more raptures and visions, and favors of this kind, which God may bestow upon her. These we must hope for in the other world in order to understand their value. This other is current money, a revenue which fails not, an estate perpetuity, and not an annuity which ceases, for the other goes and comes. I allude to the great virtue of humility, mortification, and entire obedience, by not acting in the least point against the commands of the superior, knowing for certain that God commands you, since the superior holds his place. Obedience is that virtue on which I should enter more at large, but because I believe if nuns in this point, they are no nuns at all, I say nothing about it. For I speak to nuns, and I think to good ones, at least they desire to be such, and hence, in a matter so important and so well understood, I add but one word, lest it be forgotten. I say then, that whoever is under obedience by vow and fails therein, not using every exertion to observe her vow with the utmost perfection, I cannot understand why she remains in the monastery. I can assure her at least, that as long as she remains here, she will never become a contemplative, nor even a good nun in the active life. This I consider certain, and though she may not be a person who is obliged there too, yet if she desire or intend to arrive at contemplation, it will be necessary for her in order to proceed more securely, to submit her own will with full determination to a confessor who is himself a contemplative. It is well known, that in this way she may advance more in a year than without it in many, but because it does not concern you much, I need not say more about it. I conclude that these are the virtues which I desire you, my daughters, should possess or endeavor to procure and devoutly envy the possessors of them. As for other devotions, be not solicitous or troubled at not having them. They are uncertain things. It may be that in others they come from God, yet in you, His Majesty may permit them to be an illusion of the devil, and that He may deceive you as He has done others. Why do you desire to serve God in a doubtful way, when you have so many secure ways whereby to serve Him? I have dwelt so much on this point because I know it is necessary since our nature is weak and those, His Majesty will strengthen, on whom He wishes to bestow contemplation. As to those on whom He does not bestow it, I am glad I have given them directions, whence the contemplatives also may have a means of humbling themselves. May our Lord, by His goodness, give us light to follow His will in everything, and we shall have no cause to fear. End of Chapter 18 Chapter 19 of The Way of Perfection This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Ann Boulet The Way of Perfection by St. Teresa of Avila translated by the Reverend John Dalton Chapter 19 On the kind of prayer those persons should use who cannot discourse with their understanding. It is so many days since I wrote the preceding discourse, not having an opportunity of resuming it, that unless I read it over again, I know not what I said. But not to lose any time, what I have said must remain written without order or connection. For solid understandings and souls that are already well instilled within themselves, there are so many excellent books written, and by such eminent persons, that it would be an error in you to pay any attention to what I say with regard to prayer. As I have said, you have these books wherein the mysteries of our Lord's life are arranged according to the days of the week. You have likewise meditations on the last day, on hell, on our own nothingness. And how much we owe to God the blessings and order, respecting the beginning and end of prayer. Whoever is able and is accustomed to practice this kind of prayer, has no need of anything being said to him. For by so good a way God will bring him to a port of light, and the end will correspond with such good beginnings. And all those who can go along such a road, enjoy rest and security, for when the understanding is once restrained, we go on with what my desire to treat of is to lay down some remedy if it please God that I speak to the purpose. If not, that you at least may understand there are many souls who pass through this affliction and therefore, if any of you be in the life distress, do not torment yourselves. There are some souls so disorderly like unbroken horses that no one can stop them, but they run here and there, always restless. Such either their nature or God permits it. I pity them much since it seems to me they are like persons extremely thirsty who see water a great distance off and when they wish to go there, they meet with others who oppose their journey both in the beginning and in the midway and at the end. And so it happens that after they have overcome the first ranks with very great labor, they are left to subdue the second and thus they would rather die with than drink water which is to cost them so dear. They want strength and so their courage fails. And though some have courage for conquering the second kind of enemies, the third quite disheartens them and perhaps they were not two steps off from the fountain of living water of which our Lord spoke to the Samaritan woman of which whoever drinks shall not thirst. And with how much reason and truth since the words were spoken by the mouth of truth itself, shall such a one never thirst after anything in this life, though with regard to the things of the other life, this thirst is greatly increased far beyond what we can imagine respecting our natural thirst. But with what a thirst is this thirst desired, for the soul understands its great value and it is also a very painful thirst that afflicts us and yet it brings with it a satisfaction whereby our other thirst is filled. Hence, it is a thirst which only extinguishes a thirst for earthly things. It affects us also in such a way that when God satisfies it, one of the greatest favors he can do the soul is to leave her in this necessity and she always has a greater desire to drink again of this water. Water has three properties as far as I can now remember, which will illustrate my meaning. It may also have many other properties. The first property is that it cools so that however hot we may be when we take water, our heat goes away and if there be a great fire, water puts it out except wildfire for then it burns the more. Oh my God, what wonders there are in this fire which burns the more when water is poured on it since it is a strong and mighty fire and is not subject to the other elements. Though water is the opposite element to it yet this does not extinguish but rather increases it the more. If I understood philosophy I could explain this phenomenon because knowing the properties of things, I should be able to express my meaning better. But now I amuse myself in speaking of it and I know not how to speak about the matter and perhaps cannot even understand it. When God shall bring you sisters to drink of this water you will delight in it as those know who now drink of it and you will understand how the true love of God is master of all the elements of the world if it be in its strength and entirely free from all earthly things and soar above them all and as water comes from the earth fear not that it will quench this fire of the love of God it is not under its jurisdiction and though they are contrary to each other this love is no absolute master it is not subject to the water and so sisters wonder not that I have said so much in this book for I wish you to obtain this liberty is it not an excellent thing that a poor nun of St. Josus may obtain dominion over the whole earth and the elements and what wonder that the saints do with them what they please by the help of God fire and water obeyed St. Martin the fowls which is obeyed St. Francis and so with regard to other saints who it clearly appears were such absolute lords of all earthly things because they labored so well to undervalue them and so truly subjected themselves with all their strength to the lord of the universe hence as I have said the water which rises from the earth has no power against this fire the flames of which are very high and it derives not its origin from so mean a thing from the earth there are other fires arising from a small love of God which any event will extinguish but not this fire even though a whole sea of temptations should break in yet it will not make this fire leave off burning rather will the fire become master of them if it be water that comes down from heaven much less will this extinguish the fire it even revives it more than the other contrary but have the same origin do not fear less one element should destroy the other one rather helps the other to produce its effects for the water of true tears such are those which come from earnest prayer is given by the king of heaven and helps to kindle and rather to make the fire continue and the fire also helps to cool the water oh my god how pleasant and how wonderful that fire should cool and even congeal all earthly affections when it is united with this living water from heaven and this heaven is the source once come those tears mentioned above and these are freely given to us not obtained by our own industry thus I may indeed assure you that this water will leave no love for the things of this world so that the soul should be detained by them unless it be to kindle this fire if it can not to be content with a little space but if it could to inflame the whole world the second property of water is to cleanse dirty things if we had no water to wash with what would become of the world you know how well this living water the celestial water this pure water cleanses when it is not troubled and when it contains not any mud if we drink of it only once I am certain it leaves the soul pure and cleanse from all her faults for as I have said God permits no soul to drink of this water since it does not depend on our will this divine union becomes something very supernatural except to purify her and leave her clean and free from the mire and misery wherein she was involved by her offenses for other consolations that come by the intervening of the understanding however much they may affect draw water which runs on the ground they do not drink it at the fountain head hence as the water always meets with some dirt in its course this prevents it from being pure and clean I do not call this prayer which goes as I have said discoursing with the understanding living water according to my judgment I say that however zealously we may desire to labor our soul always contracts some impurity in spite of our will and this body and vile nature of ours contribute much there too I will explain my meaning a little more we are perhaps meditating on the character of the world and how all things come to an end so as to be excited to despise them then almost without our perceiving it we find our thoughts engage on things which we love and though we desire to be free from them we are distracted a little by thinking what this world has been what it will be what we did and what we shall do and sometimes by thinking on what will be of help to us in order to free us from such thoughts we fall into new dangers I do not wish that this meditation should be omitted but we must fear and not grow careless here our lord himself takes his care upon him for he does not wish us to trust in ourselves he values our soul so much that he will not allow her to engage in things which may be injurious to her during the time when he wishes to favor her he immediately places her near himself and in an instant shows her more truce and gives her a clearer knowledge of what all things are than we can attain in this life during many years our sight is not free the dust blinds us as we walk along here our lord brings us to our journey's end without our knowing how the third property of water is that it satisfies and quenches the thirst for it seems to me that thirst implies the desire of something which we stand much in need of and which if it cannot possibly be obtained kills us a strange thing which if we want kills us and if taken to excess also destroys life just as we see many who die through medication oh my lord who can be so happy as he who finds himself so engulfed in this living water as to end his life therein but cannot this be affected yes indeed for the love and desire of God may grow to such a height that nature cannot endure it and some persons there have been who have died thus I know one on whom this living water was poured so abundantly that had not God come to her assistance her raptures would almost have taken her senses away I say would almost have taken her senses away because there in the soul does not work it seems even that the soul suffocated by not being able to endure the world revives in God and his majesty now enables her to enjoy that which if she remained in herself she could not without losing her life but here we must remember that since there cannot be anything imperfect in our supreme God all that he gives is for our good and therefore however abundant this water may be there is no excess for no super fluidity can be found in anything belonging to God since if he bestows much he disposes the soul as I have said and makes her capable of drinking much just as a glass maker who makes his glasses in whatever way he sees necessary for containing a certain quantity merely desiring this water is never without some defect as such a desire comes from ourselves if it should have anything good it is through our Lord's assistance therein but so indiscreet are we that because it is a sweet and delightful pain we think we can never be satisfied with it we desire it without measure and as much as we can we increase this desire and so it sometimes kills us blessed is such a death and yet perhaps by living such a person may help many others to die with a desire of such a death and this I believe the devil does because he knows the loss he will receive if such a one lives and so he tempts us here to indiscreet penances which destroy our health and so he gains much then that whoever has this violent thirst should be very careful for let him be assured he will meet with this temptation and though he may not die of thirst he will lose his health and show it by exterior signs even against his will which by all means are to be avoided sometimes our diligence will avail but little since we cannot conceal all that we desire but let us be careful when these great persuasities come for increasing this desire not to add to it but with sweetness cut off the thread by some other consideration for it may be that at times our nature will effect as much as love for there are some persons who very vehemently desire anything even though it should be bad these I think are not so mortified as they ought to be for mortification is useful in everything it seems foolish to prevent so good an action but it is not so for I do not say this desire should be destroyed but only checked and this perhaps may be done by another desire just as meritorious I will use an example to make myself understood someone let us suppose has a strong desire of seeing himself immediately with God and of being freed from this prison of the body as Saint Paul had now a pain for such an object and which in itself is very delightful will require no small mortification to moderate it and this cannot be done entirely but when one sees that it overcomes him in such a way as almost to take away the judgment as I saw one not long since who though impetuous by nature was still so accustomed to break his own will that I thought he had quite lost it yet by what was seen in other things I saw this person for a time almost mad with the great pain and violence he used to disguise this passion then in such a strong case though it were the spirit of God I consider it humility to fear for we must not think we have so much true love which places us in such great difficulties I say then I shall not think it wrong for a person to change her desire if she can though perhaps she cannot at all times for she thinks that by living she may serve God more and by serving God more may merit to be able to enjoy him the more yet let her fear for having hitherto served him so little these are consolations fit for so great an affliction and thus she may lessen her pain and gain much since in order to serve our Lord she is willing to suffer here and live with her cross it is like consoling one who is in great affliction of a hermit by bidding him have patience and resign himself into the hands of God and let him accomplish his will in me since this resignation of ourselves is in all things the most secure course but what if the devil should in some way contribute to so vehement a desire this is possible as I think casean relates concerning a hermit who led a very austere life and who was persuaded by the devil into a well in order to behold God the sooner I am confident this man did not live with true humility nor even a good life for our Lord is faithful and his majesty would never have severed him to be blinded in so manifest a case but it is clear that if the desire had been from God it would not have hurt him for it brings with it light and discretion and moderation this is evident but the sworn enemy of ours whichever way he goes seeks mischief since then he is not idle let us not be negligent this is important for many things as for shortening the time of prayer however delightful it may be when the corporal strength begins to fail or it hurts our head in everything discretion is necessary for what purpose do you think my daughters have I endeavored to explain the end and show the reward before the battle by telling you the advantages we may derive from drinking of this celestial fountain and this living water I have done so in order that you may not complain of the pains in opposition which are to be found in the way and that you may go on with courage and not be weary for as I have said it may be that after you have arrived at the well all you may want will be to stoop down and drink of this fountain and still you may leave all things and lose this advantage imagining that you have not the strength to reach it and that you are not fit for it consider how our lord invites all he being truth itself there is no reason to doubt we're not this banquet open to all our lord would not call us all and though he did he would not say I will give you drink he may say to me all you that labor and are burdened and I will refresh you or if any man thirst let him come to me and drink but as he speaks to all without this condition I consider it certain that all those who do not loiter by the way shall not want this living water may our lord who has promised it give us in his mercy grace to seek it as it should be sought End of Chapter 19 Chapter 20 of the way of perfection this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Anne Boulay The Way of Perfection by Saint Teresa of Avila translated by the reverend John Dalton Chapter 20 She shows how we never want consolation in prayer and she advises the sisters to let their discourses always be on this subject It seems that in the preceding chapter I contradict what I had said before For in comforting those who do not arrive so far at perfect contemplation I told them there were different ways whereby to approach to God as he had many mansions for us in heaven The same thing I now repeat again for as his Majesty knows our weakness he has so provided for us in his goodness yet he did not say that some should come by this way and others by another but his mercy was so great that he has forbidden no one at all to strive and to come drink at this fountain of life May he be blessed forever for with how great reason might he have forbidden me Now since he did not command me to desist when I began it caused me to be plunged into the depths thereof I dare certainly say he forbids no one but rather calls us publicly and aloud though being so very good he does not force us but gives in many ways drink to those who will follow him that so no one may go away disconsoleate or die through thirst From this rich spring come rivers some great some small ones this is sufficient for them since they would be frightened if they beheld a great body of water these are persons who are yet only in their rudiments do not fear then sisters you will die of thirst in this way the water of consolation will never be wanting in such a way I mean as cannot be endured and since this is the truth take my advice and do not loiter on the way but fight like resolute souls till you die in asserting your right you are here for no other purpose but to fight but if you always continue thus firmly resolve rather to die then desist from advancing to the end of the journey though God should suffer you to endure some thirst in this life yet in the other which is eternal he will make you drink thereof abundantly and that without fear of ever wanting it may God grant we may not be wanting to him amen now in order to enter upon this way which I have mentioned before so as not to turn aside in the beginning let us speak a little as to the manner how this journey is to be commenced this is of the greatest consequence I say everything depends upon it I do not mean that whoever has not the resolution which I shall mention hereafter should neglect to begin because our Lord will go on perfecting him and when he makes but one step forwards it has so great a virtue with it that he must not fear losing it or despair of his being very well rewarded it is as we may say like one who has a rosary to which indulgences are annexed so that if it be used once he gains something and the more the oftener but if he never make use of it and only keep it in a chest it would be better if it had no indulgences attached hence though afterwards one should not go along the same way the little progress he has made therein will give him light to proceed well in other ways and the further he goes the more light he has in a word let him be assured that the fact of his having begun will not prejudice him in anything though he should afterwards forsake it because good can never do harm therefore daughters with regard to all persons with whom you may converse are in any way friendly with them endeavor to remove from such the fear of their commencing so excellent a thing and I beseech you for the love of God that you always direct your conversation for the good of those with whom you converse since your prayer should be for the welfare of souls and this you should always beg of our lord it would look bad sisters not to endeavor to accomplish this object by all means in our power if you wish to be kind relations this is true friendship or to be good friends you can show it in no other way but this let truth enter into your hearts by meditation and you will plainly perceive what love we are bound to have for our neighbor this is not now the time sisters for children's play for these worldly friendships seem to be nothing else though they may be good nor let there be heard amongst you any such words as these do you love me or do you not love me such language must not be addressed either to friends or to anyone else except for some important object or for the good of some soul for it may happen that in order to get your relation or brother or such like person to hear a truth and receive it it will be necessary to dispose them by using such words and such proofs of love which are always listening to sensuality it may be that they will be more affected with one kind word as they term it and thereby they may dispose themselves better than by many words spoken about God that so afterwards they may relish these the better hence while you act with a design to benefit others I do not forbid you to use those words but if you do not use them for this object they can produce no good but may do without your perceiving it they already know that you are religious and that your employment is about prayer therefore never say to yourselves I do not wish them to consider me good for the public benefit depends upon what they see in you and it is the cause of great evil that persons who lie under such obligations of speaking only on God as nuns do should in such a case approve of any dissimulation in their course except it were for a greater good this is your employment in language whoever wishes to converse with you let him learn it if not be careful lest you learn his for it will prove a hell to you if they consider you to be clowns it matters little if hypocrites still less thereby you will gain this object these that none will visit you but such as this language for it is unlikely that one who does not understand Arabic should delight often to talk with him who knows no other language and thus they will not weary or molest you since it would be no small trouble to begin to speak a new language and to spend all your time in learning it you cannot understand so well as I do who have experience in this matter the great mischief it does a soul which in learning one thing forgets another it is also a perpetual trouble which you must avoid by all means in your power because that which is of great assistance to us in the way we are beginning to speak about is peace and tranquility in the soul if those who converse with you wish to learn your language since it is not for you to teach it you may tell them of the riches that may be gained by learning it and be not weary of this duty but perform it with piety and love prayer thereby to do them some good that so perceiving the great gain they may seek a master to instruct them for that would be a great favor which our Lord would bestow to excite any soul to seek after so great a good but in beginning to speak of this way how many things present themselves even to one who has traveled along the road so badly as I have God grant sisters that I may explain this duty to you better than I have observed it. Amen. End of Chapter 20 Chapter 21 of the way of perfection this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Anne Boulay the way of perfection by Saint Teresa of Avila translated by the Reverend John Dalton. Chapter 21 how important it is to begin with a firm resolution to make use of prayer and not to heed the difficulties the devil may represent wonder not daughters at the multitude of things which must be considered for commencing this divine journey which is the royal road to heaven a great treasure is gained by traveling along this road in our opinion that is not much which costs much but the time will come when you will understand what a mere nothing everything is for so great a price now to return to those who wish to travel along it and not stop till they arrive at the source of this water of life to drink of it and be filled I say that it is very important it is everything to have a strong and firm resolution not to stop till we arrive at the water come what may whatever may be the consequence or whatever it may cost us no matter who complains whether I reach there or die on the way or have not courage to endure the troubles which I may meet with or though the world should sink under us for we are often told that there are dangers that such a one was ruined thereby and another was deceived and such a one fell who prayed often etc others say these things injure virtue this is not fit for women for they may fall into delusions it is better they should spin they have no need of such subtleties a potter and ave are sufficient for them this I also say sisters and how sufficient they are it is a very excellent practice always to ground your prayer upon the prayers uttered by such a mouth as that of our Lord they have reason in this they are not our weakness so very great and our devotion so tepid we should have no need of any other collection of prayers or any other books since then as I have said I speak to souls who cannot recollect themselves upon other mysteries which seem to them too artificial and some minds are so subtle that nothing pleases them I have now thought it proper to lay down here certain principles, means and objects relating to prayer while I do not intend to dwell on high subjects thus your books cannot be taken away from you for if you be studious and humble you need nothing more I have always been more affected and more recollected by the words of the gospels than by books very correctly written and especially if the author were not well approved of I should take no pleasure in reading the books coming then to this master of wisdom he may perhaps give me some consideration that may please you I say not I will give an explanation of this divine prayer I dare not presume to do so for there are many explanations already written yet if there were not it would be improper for me to attempt this task I will however give you some considerations upon the pattern noster our lord's prayer for on account of the multiplicity of books it seems that we sometimes lose all devotion for that prayer and yet it is important we should not forget it it is quite clear that when a master teaches anything he conceives a love for his pupil that so what he teaches may delight him it is also of help in learning what is taught and thus in like manner will our heavenly father act towards us and take no notice of the fears men may raise and the dangers they may represent to you it is a curious thing that I should wish to travel in a road where there are so many robbers and be without any dangers and at the same time gain so great a treasure the world then acts kindly in allowing you to enjoy such a treasure in peace but when any trifle connected with their interest is at stake they will interrupt their sleep for nights together and on that account they will not let you rest either in body or mind when therefore you are able to receive or to obtain by force these treasures according to what our Lord says the violent alone shall bear it away keeping along the royal road and this is a safe way along which our king walked as well as all the saints and elect I say when you do this people represent many dangers to you and excite in you many fears as to those who wander out of the way according to their pleasure to obtain this treasure what perils do they not expose themselves to all my daughters they endure many more without comparison and they do not perceive them till they fall headlong into a real danger where there is no one to lend them a hand and they entirely lose the water without drinking little or much either out of puddle or from the stream do you see then how impossible it is for them to travel along away where there are so many to contend with without receiving a drop of water it is certain that at the very best they will die of thirst for whether we will or know my daughters we all travel towards this fountain though by different ways believe me then and let no one deceive you by showing you away different from that prayer I do not say now it should be mental or vocal and that all persons should use either one or the other as regards yourselves I say that you stand in need both of the one and the other this is the employment of religious whoever shall tell you there is danger in this consider him a dangerous person and avoid him but do not forget this advice for perhaps you may stand in need of it it will indeed be dangerous for you not to possess humility and the other virtues but God never permits the way of prayer to be a way of danger for the devil seems to have invented the art of exciting these fears and hereby he has shown himself crafty in making some fall who were addicted to prayer see the wonderful blindness of men who do not consider the many thousands in the world as they say who have fallen into heresy and other great evils by not using prayer what it was and if among all these the devil in order to accomplish his design the better has made very few of those to fall who practice prayer this has excited in some a great fear respecting such practice of virtue let those beware who take to this refuge for protection since they fly from the good in order to escape the bad never did I see such an evil intention it seems to be from the devil Lord return and defend yourself see how men interpret your words to a different meaning suffer not such weaknesses as these to be in your servants there is yet one great advantage sisters that you will always find some persons to assist you because this property the true servant of God has to whom his majesty has given light to know the true way that so by these very fears his desire of not loitering may be increased he sees clearly where the devil intends to strike and thus avoiding the blow he breaks his enemies head and this fixes him more than all the pleasure afforded him by other delights him when in the time of trouble the devil has sewn his cockle whereby he seems to lead all men after him under the pretense of a good zeal half blinded God raises someone up to open their eyes and he bids them to prove how the devil has cast a myth before them that they may not see their way oh the greatness of God that sometimes only one man or two who seek the truth prevail more than many others together he again by little and little discovers to them the true way and gives them courage if they say there is danger he endeavors to inform them how good prayer is if not by words at least by his works if they say it is not good to communicate often he then rather receives the oftener hence if there be one or two who follow what is best without fear by their means our lord regains what was lost by little and little banished then sisters these fears in such cases never pay any attention to the opinion of the people consider that these are not times when we should believe all persons but only those whom we see what conformable to the life of Christ endeavor to keep a pure conscience to have a contempt for all the things of this world and firmly to believe whatever our holy mother the church teaches and you may then be assured that you have taken a safe course cast away these fears as I have said wherein you have nothing to fear if anyone should terrify you show him in humility the way you are walking along tell him you have a rule which commands you to pray without ceasing and so indeed it does and that you must observe this rule if they say it means only vocal prayer ask them whether the understanding and the heart are to attend to what you say if they answer they are and these men can make no other reply then you see they acknowledge thereby that you are compelled to use mental prayer yay and contemplation too if God should be so it on you therein may he be blessed forever amen end of chapter 21 chapter 22 of the way of perfection this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Anne Boulet the way of perfection by St. Teresa of Avila translated by the reverend John Dalton chapter 22 she explains what mental prayer is no daughters that with regard to our prayer being mental or not the difference does not consist in keeping the mouth shut for if while uttering a prayer vocally I do attentively consider and perceive that I am speaking with God being more intent on this thought than on the words which I pronounce then I use both mental prayer and vocal prayer together but if they tell you you may be speaking with God would you recite the Potter Noster and yet be thinking of the world here I am silent for if you would conduct yourselves as you ought to do in speaking to so great a Lord it is proper you should consider you wish to speak with due respect for how can you address a king and style him your majesty or know the ceremonies which are used in speaking to a grandee unless you are well acquainted with his dignity and understand what yours is he must receive honor according to his rank and as custom gives it and with this you should be well acquainted otherwise you will be sent away as clowns and gain nothing what is this oh my lord oh my sovereign how can it be endured thou my God art an eternal king for the kingdom which thou hast is not a borrowed one I feel a special delight almost every time I hear it said in the creed that your kingdom have no end I praise you oh lord and bless you forever never allow anyone oh lord who speaks of you to do so with me with his lips what is this Christians do you say you need not mental prayer do you understand yourselves I certainly think you do not and therefore you would have us all mistaken with you and neither do you know what mental prayer is nor how vocal prayer is to be used nor what contemplation is for did you understand it you would not condemn on one hand what you praise on the other when I think of it I must always join mental with vocal prayer and therefore be not frightened daughters for I know whether these matters tend since I have endured some trouble on this account hence I wish no one to disturb you because to walk along this way in fear is very injurious it is very important to know that you walk along very securely for if you tell a traveler he is straying from the right way and has lost the road he turns from one side to the other and he is worried with all the trouble he has taken in seeking the right way thus he wastes his time and he only reaches his destination the later who can say it is wrong if anyone beginning to recite the hours or the rosary should first consider with whom he is about to speak and who he is himself that speaks in order that he may see how he is to conduct himself now I tell you sisters that if you properly discharge the great obligation incumbent on you for understanding these two points well before you begin your vocal prayer you would spend a good portion of time in mental prayer we should not speak to a prince in the same unprepared manner as we should to a peasant or poor persons like ourselves there all is taken in good part as if we were speaking one to another it is proper that though the king be gracious and humble we should not be rude or unmanorly and though he knows that I am so rude as not to understand how to speak to him yet he refuses not to hear me nor does he deny me access to him nor do his guards repulse me since the angels who attend him know well the mind of their sovereign who is the more pleased with this rusticity of a humble shepherd seeing that if he knew better he would speak better than if he used the language however elegant but not accompanied with humility of the most able scholars it is at least requisite in order to testify our gratitude for the unpleasant as he endures by permitting such a person as I am to be so near him that we should endeavor to understand his purity and who he is it is true we soon discover him by approaching to him as we do the great ones of this world and with regard to these when once we are informed who were their parents what is their annual income what their title we need no more to know our duty for in this world no account is paid in general to the merit of the persons but their riches only are the cause of their being honored oh wretched world my daughters praise God exceedingly for having enabled you to abandon so base a place where persons are not esteemed by what they are inwardly possessed of but by what their farmers and vassals are worth and hence when these things fail then the world refuses to honor the individuals what a pleasant consideration to make you marry when you all meet at recreation for it is a good source of amusement to consider how blindly world links spend their days oh my emperor supreme power supreme goodness wisdom itself without beginning without end without bounds to perfections which are infinite and incomprehensible a bottomless ocean of wonders a beauty including in itself all beauties strength itself oh my god with that I had here at once all the eloquence of men and wisdom also properly to understand as far as can be understood in this world which in reality is nothing how to make known on this occasion some of those many things which we might consider for understanding in some small degree how great is this our lord and our sovereign good continue then to consider and understand with whom you are going to speak and with whom you are speaking in a thousand such lies as ours are we should never be able fully to comprehend how this lord deserves to be treated before whom the angels tremble who commands all things can do all things whose will is the deed it is proper then my daughters that we should endeavor to delight ourselves in these excellencies which our spouse possesses and that we understand to whom we are married and also what kind of life we are to lead oh my god since here in this life when a person is married she first knows with whom she is to live and who her husband is and what he has shall not we who are already contracted think on our spouse before the nuptials when he is to conduct us to his house since then those who are espoused in the world are allowed to have such thoughts why should we be forbidden from endeavoring to know who this person is and who is his father and what kind of a country that is to which he is to conduct us and what those good things are which he promises to be upon us what his good qualities are how may I best please him and in what can I delight him and to study how to make my will bend to his now if a lady who is likely to make a good match is advised omitting other points to consider well these things though her husband may be a very insignificant man they are oh my spouse to esteem you less in everything while others are made so much of if men would not approve of such conduct towards others let them leave your spouses to you to spend their whole lives with you it is true when the husband is so jealous that he does not wish a spouse to converse with any other person it would be very odd if she did not endeavor to comply with his request it is but reasonable she should do so since in him she has all that her heart can desire to understand and practice these truths my daughters is mental prayer if you wish to understand this and also to pray vocally you may do it but do not speak with God and be thinking of other things for then you do not understand what mental prayer is I believe I have explained it sufficiently God grant we may learn to practice it Amen End of chapter 20