 Craft presents The Great Gilder Slee. Yeah! She's company will also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night. Present each week at this time Harold Perry as The Great Gilder Slee, written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. Well, The Great Gilder Slee's vacation, like everyone else's, has come to an end. And our hero, full of new health and vigor, is about to take up once more the task of guarding, purifying and distributing summer fields water supply. He's at breakfast now with Leroy and Marjorie. But as he crunches methodically on the sixth piece of toast, he looks and feels every cubic inch of him a water commissioner. More coffee, young? Well, since it's not rationally longer, my dear, I suppose, as a patriotic duty, yes. My only regret is that I have but one cup to give for my country. That'll do, Leroy. The water commissioner's got to be on the alert in these war times, you know. Why? Well, water is one of the important sinews of war, young man. What kind of contribution could our citizens make to the war effort? But there were no water to wash in. Yeah, wouldn't that be terrible? Leroy, I believe you enjoy being dirty. Do you consider that shirt clean enough to wear to school? Sure. So I'm just the only one I've got. What about your face and hands? Are they clean? Oh, sure. Look at his ears. Who asked you? Never mind. Well, what did you have to butt in for? I didn't butt in. You did so. I did not. Quiet. I'll not have the breakfast table made of bedlam with this infernal bickering. Is that clear, Leroy? Yes, sir. I hope it is. Now, Marjorie, don't you try to sound so virtuous? You're just as much to blame as Leroy, if not more so. You're old enough to know a little better. Tee hee. Leroy, come here and let me inspect your ears. Ah, gee, young. Come here, young man. Oh, for corn, sir. They're perfectly clean, Aunt. I washed them till they hurt. When? The day before yesterday. Let me see them. Just as soon as you've finished your breakfast, you go upstairs and wash your ears properly, young man. Tee hee. Yep, Marjorie. Your whole attitude has got to show a big improvement this year or I'll be forced to take drastic steps. Gee, what kind of drastic steps? I don't know. Gosh. I've been thinking that possibly I should go and speak to your principal at school about you. Miss Goodwin? Huh? Well, I believe that's her name, unless it slipped my recollection. Oh, yes. Goodwin is the name or something like that. Are you kidding? Leroy, I do not care for that expression. Oh, gosh, young. You went to call on her last week and came home holding hands with yourself. You go wash your ears, young man. Okay, okay. And stick in your shirt tail. Okay. Darn kid. You'd think from the way he talks that he was associated with bad companions. But what companions I see are angels alongside of him. Excuse me, Mr. Gil Sleeves. No, no more toast. Thank you, Bertie. I've enjoyed a plentiful sufficiency. You sure have, Mr. Gil Sleeves. There ain't another slice of bread in this year's house. Oh, well, you can't run a water works on nothing but water. What is it you wanted, Bertie? I just found a morning paper under the hedge and I noticed your name was in it. My name? Where? Where is it, Bertie? Right here. Oh, here it is. Welcome home, Commissioner Gil Sleeves. Well, that's very friendly, Mr. Powers. I must renew my subscription to his paper. What else does it say, Marjorie? This morning, Throckmorton P. Gil Sleeves will return to his desk as water commissioner following what we trust has been a relaxing vacation. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, we hope you will shortly find time and energy to do something about the taste of Somerfield's water supply, which has deteriorated badly in the past few weeks. Why, let me see that newspaper. Wait a minute. There's more. The water now has reached the point where it has a definite taste of onions, a condition which in our father's generation was attributed to the presence of water moccasins. Water moccasins? Why, that's libel. And then it just says, how about some action, Commissioner? By George, he'll get some action all right. Where's my hat, Bertie? On the haul tree, Mr. Gil Sleeves. Thank you. Well, I'm off. What are you going to do, Mr. Gil Sleeves? Go out to the reservoir and look for water moccasins? No, I'm going downtown and look for a rattlesnake named Powers. That's a Lord. You're not going to hurt him. Well, no. But I'll write him a letter he'll never dare to print. Morning. Good morning, Commissioner. Morning. Good morning, Mayor. Good morning. Yes, pleasant vacation, I hope. Oh, yes, yes, very pleasant. Glad to be back on the job. Your secretary will tell you that I've called a little meeting in my office this morning, just the heads of departments. 9.30. Hope you can make it. Oh, yes, sir, yes, sir. I'll be there. Good. See you then. Yeah. What does he want with me? Powers is back of this. Powers in his so-called newspaper. He'll buy George if there's anything wrong with that water. I'll, I'll drink it. No, I'm wearing it up now, Mabel. Still on the telephone. Well, I'm wearing it up now. I wore it down for a few days, but then I decided to look better up. So now I'm wearing it up. Of course, Herbie likes it down, but I've decided now I don't like Herbie. There, see? I'll call you back, Mabel. Mr. Guildens, leave your back from your vacation. And you're right where I left you, two weeks ago, on the telephone. I know, the service is terrible. I guess it's the war. I was saying only the other day that... Could I interrupt your analysis of the situation long enough to take a letter? Oh, oh, yes. I'll just get my book. Letter to Mr. Frank Powers, the editor of the Summerfield Indicator. Here, Mr. Where are you going? My, my book. I had it here somewhere. Oh, for goodness sake. Oh, I found it. It was right under the flower pot all the time. Naturally. Let's see now. Where was I? Oh, it leaked on it. Bessie, I'm trying to dictate a letter. I'm sorry. The editor of the Indicator. Dear sir. Now what? Bessie, have you ever thought of going into our work? You'd make a wonderful bottleneck. I'm ready now. Well, I'm not ready. I'm all out of the mood. Oh, God, now I gotta go back and get mad all over again. Uh, the water tastes bad, huh? Man says the water tastes bad. Oh, it tastes bad, does it? Bessie, bring me a glass of water. Yes, Mr. Gildesleeve. Yella journal. Talk about leaving a bad taste in the mouth. Powers ought to read some of his own editorials. Here you are, Mr. Gildesleeve. Oh, paper cups now, huh? We got those while you were away. Uh, we'll just see now. You like it, Mr. Gildesleeve? Bessie, you're my witness. I never tasted finer drinking water in my life. Cool, clear, and refreshing. That's what the man said. What man? The man who brings the bottles every week. Bottles? Bessie, what are you doing with bottled water in this office? Well, the tap water got you tasting kind of funny, so I have to put in a cooler. Get that thing out of here. Hello. Oh, tell his honor, I'll be right down. Sorry to keep him waiting. Well, I guess I've gotta face it. Bessie, get that water cooler out of sight. If anybody wants me, I'm going down to the mayor's office. Gildesleeve? Yes, Bessie, what is it? I just remembered there was some message I was to give you when you came in. Let's see now, what was it? Bessie, I'm in a hurry. Oh, yes, the mayor called. He wants you to come down to his office. That Bessie, I'm gonna have to let her go. Gildesleeve, you know all these gentlemen, I believe, Judge Hooker. Oh, sure. Hello, Gildy. Mr. Halloran, Mr. Peele. Ah, and here's Mr. Powers. Now we can proceed. Morning, Mr. Mayor. Gildesleeve. We had a little notice about you in our editorial column this morning. I saw it. No hard feelings, I hope. You'd like to know my feelings, just step outside with me for a moment. All right, all right, let's get down to business now, gentlemen. Just be sure you don't make any charges. You can't prove Powers, that's all. There's such a thing as libel, you know. Yes, and there's such a thing as freedom of the press. Come, come, gentlemen, we have important business. I brought you all together here to discuss something that reflects serious disgrace upon the town of Summerfield. Mr. Mayor, if you're referring to the water department. Nobody's talking about the water department. I'm talking about the third war loan drive and Summerfield's part in it. Frankly, our showing so far is way below what it should be. I think there's a reason for that. The reason is that we're all lying down on the job. Speak for yourself, Powers. No, I think the reason is we're not properly organized. We've got to figure out where the money is and go after it. Now the first national of Summerfield. Does anybody know how much they've bought? No, you're all wet there, George. It isn't the banks. They're only a drop in the bucket. It's the people who've got the money. It's the $25 and the $50 bonds that add up. All right, how are you going to sell it? You know so much. How would you go about it? Well, you all know what they're doing over in Riverton. They've pledged themselves to sell enough bonds to build a gunboat, the USS Riverton. And they've already gone half way to their quota. It's working over there. That's why the indicators started this campaign to get Summerfield to build the USS Summerfield. Which is nothing but a publicity stunt for the indicator and you know it. Oh, now, Mr. Gildersleeve, I think you owe Mr. Powers an apology. Powers owes me an apology. I suggest we forget our personal differences and get on with the bond drives. The way it's been going so far, the USS Summerfield is going to turn out to be a robot. Well, I refuse to believe that Summerfield is any less patriotic than Riverton. How about it, gentlemen? Are we going to take this lying down wall? No, my God. No, certainly not. That's what I say, Gildy. Then let's pitch in. I'm at your service, Mr. Mayor. That's the spirit I like to see in my commission as Gildersleeve. Now, I've appointed Powers here as chairman in charge of the whole drive. What? And I'm asking each of you to serve under him as sub-chairman. He'll assign the territories you to cover and so forth. Anything you'd like to add, Mr. Powers? No, except to say that we're really going to try from now on to make this an all-out drive. We're asking all businesses, as well as the schools, to close at noon, beginning today. I've already sent out instructions to that effect. So that everybody can get out and sell bonds and that means everybody. You hear that, gentlemen? Everybody. And tomorrow night there'll be a rally, in which you'll all be expected to take part. Mr. Mayor, Mr. Gildersleeve? I think I may say that I'm as good an American as anybody here. Nobody questions that, Mr. Gildersleeve. I've always done my part and I'll continue to do so. I'll go out in the street and sell bonds. But I must decline to serve on any committee or appear on any platform with the honorable chairman. Guilty! Until he withdraws certain faults and malicious charges made about me this morning in the public prints. Good day, gentlemen. Hello, Marjorie. What are you doing home at this time of day, Anki? The office is closed. I've got to go out and sell bonds door to door. Oh, you poor darling. On such a hot day, too. Well, it's got to be done, my dear. There's no use spoiling my lunch over it. No, of course not. There's a meal for you. That'll spoil my lunch for sure. Here you are. Eugh, bills and circulars. There's no time of the month to be sending out bills or circulars, either. If I didn't... Oh, what's this? Oh... Eugh... What do you know about that? It sounded pretty good from here. What is it? Oh, nothing really. Only gratitude is such an unusual thing that, well... Well, I'll read it to you. It's from that Miss Goodwin, Leroy's principal. Oh... No, no. Nothing like that. No. Just a nice letter, my dear. Yeah. Yes. Eugh, dear Mr. Gillesleve, I've just learned the true motive behind your call on me last week. You need not have gone to such pains to spare my feelings. A progressive teacher soon learns to expect opposition from some of the parents, but at seldom she has the good fortune to have one of them rise so generously to her defense as you did. I'm very grateful, believe me, and hope soon to have a chance to thank you in some more personal way, sincerely yours. Isn't that nice? Sure, but I don't get it. Well, some busybody's objected to her being put in as principal. They delegated me to take steps, but as soon as I called on her, I could see at a glance she was a fine educator, so I told her to pay no attention to them. Oh... You know, I think I ought to go over and see her this afternoon. Thank her for this note. Don't you think so? Gosh, no. Why should you? Well, gratitude is such a rare thing, my dear. It should be encouraged. But, Aunt, I thought you were going to sell bonds. Bonds? Oh, well, this is right on the way to my territory. I bet you never make it. I have to run now. Goodbye, dear, and be careful. Don't worry about your old uncle. I'll see you at supper. Let's see now. What did she say? I'm very grateful, believe me, and hope soon to have a chance to thank you in some more personal way. Well, I think I'll give that lady a chance to make good on that promise. Schools close. You ought to be home. Why, Mr. Kildesley, for the pleasant surprise, come in. Thank you. I got your note, Miss Goodwin, and I... Well, I thought I'd drop around. Oh, well, when I heard what you'd done, I simply had to write to you. Oh, it was really nothing. Anyone interested in education would have done the same thing. Oh, well, I don't believe that. I think you were very brave and wonderful to do it. You do? Well, I think you're a very wonderful grammar school principal. Oh, thank you. No, I mean that. I was going to come and see you anyway. I wanted to talk to you about my nephew. Yes, he's in your school. Well, I'll be glad to help in any way I can. Come in and sit down, won't you? Well, I can't stay very long. No, not very long. I've got to sell some bonds this afternoon. Well, well, that's all this, eh? An art exhibition? Oh, no. Now, those are posters the children at school have done for the Bond Drive. They're going to distribute them all over town this afternoon. Oh, very clever work. Oh, are you interested in painting? Am I? I've got every art volume ever put out by the Book of the Month Club. Oh, really? Well, then you'll appreciate this poster here. I think it's got some of the feeling of Grant Wood. Oh, yes, I can see what you mean. Remarkable, uh, chiaroscuro, too, for a child. Don't you think so? Oh, yes, yes, remarkable, uh, chiaroscuro, yeah. Here's one that's quite futuristic. The child told me these were supposed to be airplanes. These? Yes. Very poor, in my opinion. No wing flaps. Oh, my. You certainly are refreshing, Mr. Gildeslie. Refreshing? Mm-hmm. Most men are afraid of painting. They give it as art with a capital A. They're afraid to have an opinion one way or another. That's not my way, Miss Goodwin. If Rembrandt himself was to walk in here and ask me what I thought of his painting, I'd tell him straight from the shoulder. Rembrandt is wonderful, isn't he? Yeah, and that's what I'd tell him. Have, um, have you ever tried to paint, Mr. Gildeslie? Paint? No, not really. I used to sketch a bit in my younger days. Well, why didn't you keep on with it? You might have become a great painter. No, I don't think so. I can never get the nose in the right place. But you know something? If I could paint, I'll bet you'd make a wonderful model. Oh, oh, Mr. Gildeslie, you don't mean that. Oh, yes, I do, Miss Goodwin. You've got the chiaroscuro. And you've got plenty of it, too. Well, Mr. Gildeslie, I think we'd better talk about your nephew. We can wait, someday when we have lots of time. Well, uh, let's sit down, shall we? If we can find a place, everything's awfully messy with all these posters. Well, the sofa's all empty. Yes, well, you take that. I'll sit here in the little rocker. Oh, not very sociable. Oh, excuse me. Well, hello. Well, look, for Pete's sake. Leroy! Uh-huh! I'm helping Miss Goodwin. So this is your nephew, Mr. Gildeslie. He's one of our best little workers. He's a spy at heart. I'm not spying, honk. I just came here to get some posters to take around to the stores. Didn't I, Miss Goodwin? Oh, trying to get in right with the principal, eh? Well, what are you doing? I'll see you later, young man. Goodbye, Miss Goodwin. And Mr. Gildeslie. Finishing up the prescription here. I am, Mr. Gildeslie. P.V., I'm tired. I thought I'd just drop in for a moment and rest my bones, if you don't mind. And I don't. A little later, isn't it? No, no, just tired. It's just bond drive. House-to-house stuff, you know. Very worrying. No, you've been out soliciting. Yeah, that's it. I haven't actually started yet, but I get tired just thinking about it. I know how it is. Whenever I hear they're starting a new drive, I lay in a good stock of footies. Say, you wouldn't want to buy a bond, would you, P.V.? Well, um, tell you what I mean. That's all right. This isn't my territory, anyway. You just thought I might sell one while I'm sitting here. I'd like to give you my trade, Mr. Gillespie, but the fact is you're a little late. Your nephew Leroy was in here and signed me up at the crack of dawn. That kid is everywhere. You know something, P.V., maybe I shouldn't say this, but I'm getting tired of this war. I'm getting tired of hearing about it. I guess we all are, but... I'm getting tired of a lot of things. Getting tired of these energetic women always doing things, always winning the war and making posters. That's not what women are for. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. I mean it. I like a woman who's a little old-fashioned. I like a woman who isn't too busy to... well, be charming. You know? I like a woman who's feminine. I like a woman who... You just like women. No, no, it happens you're wrong, P.V. I'm a one-woman man. Maybe you are at that. Tell me, do you ever hear from her? From who? Mrs. Ransom. When is she coming back? Who said anything about Mrs. Ransom? Sorry, my mistake. Yeah. You're barking up the wrong tree, P.V. That's all over and done with. Yep. That chapter in my life is a closed book. But I might just go back and take a peek. Leroy, are you following me? What are you doing here? I brought Mr. P.V. a poster for his window. What are you doing here? I thought you were going to go out and sell buns. What I do is my affair, young man. I'll tell teacher. Yep. All right, all right, I'm going, LaGrie. All right. Mr. Diodesley, will we see you at the rally tomorrow night? No, P.V. You will not see me at any rally conducted by Mr. Powers. I'll win this war my own way. And of this great municipality of Summerfield... Yes, I say to you, my friends, I say to you, civilization today is looking to us. Not to you, not to me, but to all of us. Are we going to fail it in this, its hour of need? What is the answer? You better wind it up, Judge. They're going to sleep on you out there. I'll tell you the answer. The answer is no. A thousand times no. Not once, not twice, not three times, not four times, but a thousand times. No. You'll never wake them up that way, Judge. In the words of that great statesman and scholar, whose fame will live forever enshrined in the hearts of his fellow countrymen, but whose name at the moment escapes me. For Pete's sake, huh? Will you give somebody else a chance? Well, as the horse thief remarked when they hung the fatal noose around, I see my time is short. Before I close, I would just like to leave with you one thought, buy war bonds, buy all you can. Not one bond, not two bonds, not three bonds. And thank you, Judge Horace Hooker. Thank you. Thank you very much, Judge. I know we're all going to profit by what the judges had to say here tonight. Say, Frank. What is it, Judge? Look who just gave me it. Gildersley. Well, what do you know? Why, the old sorehead. I thought he wasn't coming. Uh, ladies and gentlemen. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, please. Uh, this wasn't exactly on the program, but I'd like to call on somebody now. Somebody you all know. Summerfield's popular water commissioner, Brock Morton, Pete Gildersley. Would you say a few words? Would you say a few words, Gildy, please? Yeah, come on, Gildy, come on. That's the way. Make way for him there, folks. Make way for the commissioner, that's it. Help him up on the platform, somebody, please. Wait a minute. I'll give him a hand. A couple of you fellas down front there. Get behind him and booze. Come on. Now, wait a minute, Gildy. We need a couple of more volunteers here. That's it. Thank you, sir. All together now. Here. Steady. Steady. Steady, sir. Mm. Thank you, thank you. I just want to say, folks, that Gildersley and I have had our little differences from time to time. We had one this week when my paper cast out on the flavor of Summerfield's water supply of which the commissioner was justly proud. We said it tasted bad. Since then, I've been informed that this is a temporary condition caused by natural phenomena beyond the control of any man. And the water is already, if possible, possible more delicious than ever will that be a sufficient retraction commissioner or do you want me to print it in the indicator there's more people here than read the indicator i'm satisfied all right then guilty go ahead glory's yours and i hope it'll hold you well folks i don't know what i'm doing up here i'm certainly not going to make a speech i haven't got one written if i had i'd tear it up i i just want to tell you about something that happened to me yesterday if it makes you feel the way it made me feel we won't need any speeches any of us i suppose everybody here at this rally has been out canvassing this week i got around to my district yesterday afternoon a little late at least i got around to it and i'll admit i was feeling pretty darn patriotic about it too giving my valuable time that way i marched up to the first house and i knocked on the door pretty soon it opened it was a woman i said how do you do you're the lady of the house i presume yes mrs uh kirk is it yes that's right well mrs kirk i mr gillis leave i'm calling in connection with me please i've got something on the stove i'm afraid it's boiling over come in won't you i'll be right there oh so i stepped inside set a very small place there couldn't have been more than three or four rooms the child playing on the floor in the living room a little shaver about two i guess i said to him hello there what's your name i had a little conversation with him nice little boy presently the woman came back from the kitchen well i'm so sorry not at all i was just talking with your son here fine lad oh goodness that's my grandson oh well it's hard to believe such a young grandmother uh mrs kirk i'm here in connection with a war bond drive well mr gildesley yes i know you bought bonds we all have personally i've been investing all i can spare regularly but are we doing enough are we doing all we can well i try you see i know i know we all try that is we think we do we put up with our little inconveniences rationing and so on we buy a bond now and then when the spirit moves us but do we make any real sacrifices just ask yourself mrs kirk do you ever think of the boys at the front and what they're going through yes i do i think of it day and night because my boy is one of them oh i try to do what i can but it's a little difficult you see my daughter in law lives with me now she works and i take care of bobby while she's away all day no bobby dear take that out of your mouth of it of course we have roberts allotment every month but that still isn't very much to go around mrs kirk i'm sorry i shouldn't have come barging in here like this telling you what you want to do oh no now you mustn't feel that way excuse me bobby darling why don't you run outside and play that's a good boy run along cute little fellow isn't he perfect image of his father i remember when he was just that age well i guess i don't know no please don't go i want you to understand we want to buy bonds i'm glad when i can buy a bond because every time i do i think this is for robert and i think maybe it'll help to protect him bring him back safe it's just that well maybe we don't manage very well oh i think you manage wonderfully no i never did add much of a head for figures but you're a man perhaps if you didn't mind you could look at our budget and show me how we could do more well mrs kirk i'm no shining example myself when it comes to that well maybe not but you're a man and men understand about those things it'd only take a minute if you don't mind well no only gosh i'd hate to have anybody look at my budget well we want to do all we can well she brought out her budget and made me go over it when i saw how little she had to live on i don't remember all the figures but there was $35 for rent $50 or so for groceries the usual amounts for gas light and so on practically nothing for clothes and such but every month about 25 percent of her income was going into war bonds i want to tell you ladies and gentlemen i was so darn ashamed of myself i got out of there as fast as i could i didn't try to sell any more bonds that day i went home and really dug down myself and if everybody else in this town will do the same you won't need any more rallies and there won't be any question about the uss summerfield we'll show riverton we can build a gun boat just as big as theirs and bigger why we'll build one big enough to sink this hey wait a minute gildy uh summerfield and riverton are on the same side in this war oh yes i forgot program this week was contributed to the treasurer's third wall on drive by the craft cheese company music was under the direction of claud sweeten this is ken carpenter inviting you to listen again next week for the further adventures of the great gilders league this is the national broadcasting company