 Johnny dollar well hi a pad. How are you doing this bright and sunny afternoon? Pat yes, he's called you. Yeah, he called yes a problem. Well, that's me always big emergency. That's right Which means that you have a problem. No, no, no, no. We haven't Johnny you have. Oh, well now Pat Let's talk about this on why or why does the company pass all his frantic fantastic problems on to us so that you Can pass them on to me. Yeah, sure so that I can collect all those fancy fees and commissions have an excuse to Pair out the little expensive now Johnny after all when you're serving a client as important as he is why you hang the expense It's only because of the dough you collected you put up with that wild wacky old cool. No, no way. That isn't true Oh, it isn't uh, well, I freely admit I've made a lot of money handling his problems over the years a real sack full Yeah, but more important I've grown to like Alvin P and I feel kind of sorry for him and all the messes he gets himself into So if he's having trouble again if I can give my hand Right No, no, wait a minute. I didn't mean that Would you rather he took his insurance somewhere else, right? Maybe I can arrange it He particularly asked for me sure Pat only what's his problem this time Johnny, I don't know. Huh, but you said he called you. That's right. And he didn't tell you sure it did Well, he told me one thing told the insurance company something else. Heaven only knows what he'll tell you Is there anything unusual about that? Nope, not a thing. So go ahead Johnny go over and see him get him off my neck Patrick that I will CBS radio brings you Bob Bailey in the intriguing adventures of the man with the action-pact expense account America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator yours truly Johnny dollar The camel blend of costly Turkish and domestic tobaccos has never been equal for rich flavor easy-going mildness Real smoking satisfaction every time you light up the best tobacco makes the best smoke Truly Johnny dollar Expense accounts of it a by special investigated Johnny dollar to the Universal Adjustment Bureau home office Hartford, Connecticut The following is an account of expenses incurred during my investigation of the merry-go-round Doing a job for Alvin Peabody Cartwright was like riding a merry-go-round to shoot the shoots a roller coaster and a razzle-dazzle all in one Anyhow expense account item one four bucks for a tank full of gas and hoping the snow plows had cleared off the highway I headed north to Lakewood my humble estimation Lakewood is one of the prettiest little towns in all of New England especially in the winter time The cartwright place where the old man lives by himself is on top of a low hill beside the lake three or four acres I'd say with plenty of elms and towering oak trees guarding the sprawling old mansion And now had dusk with a soft blanket of snow on everything a group of skaters gliding gracefully over the frozen lake and a Horse-drawn sleigh loaded with happy kids circling around the edge of the lake Well, I was mighty nice Yeah, it was good being out here in the country again breathing deep of the crisp cold air I Felt real good, and I hope the problem at hand would be no more serious than most of those that were handed to me by Mr. Kurt right. Hi. Yeah Don't just stand there letting in the cold Don't you know it costs a lot of money heat a place like this. Yeah, but it does. Well, how are you? Did you stop the snow off your feet? Yeah, I think I don't want you tracking up the house now What can I do for you, mr. Mr. What? What? Give me a hand Why it's Johnny Johnny Darling, oh, and I know it's a little late, but Merry Christmas Johnny. Merry Christmas to you. Well, thanks, mr. God right of the year the same to you. I knew you wouldn't let me down boy Just throw your things here in the whole record. Yeah. Yes, sir I knew you'd come and so I saved it for you right in here Johnny. Yeah, save what sir save? Christmas present a card You mean to say that's why you yeah Well now listen, we're going to open it up and see if you like it Okay, but now you shouldn't Holy smoke. Well These are diamonds on this. Of course. Yeah. Why do you think it is a piece of junk? Oh No, this is too much. I don't see why Johnny everybody should carry his money in a bill clip everybody Just think I will impress the folks what a bill clip stuttered with genuine diamonds. Yeah, you like it Well, I don't know how to thank you. You don't need to boy. You don't need to if you like it. That's all it's counts So Merry Christmas use it in good health and oh Before you go Yeah, let me wish you a happy new year to belatedly. Yeah. Well, thanks. You were You mean this is the only reason you call me up here there. Oh, of course. No, Johnny. Can't you see I'm in trouble Terrible problem Better tell me all about it then come Johnny and I'll show you And I hope to heaven you can help me with this Johnny dollar in a moment welcome recording star Mel Torme. It's terrible trying to sing with a bad cold So I always take four-way cold tablets to relieve cold miseries fast good idea Tests of all the leading cold tablets proved four-way fastest acting Four-way starts in minutes to relieve muscular pains headache reduce fever calm upset stomach also overcomes irregularity When you catch cold try my way take four-way cold tablets Fast way to relieve cold distress and feel better quickly four way only 29 cents now Here's a word about another fine product of Grove laboratories had dandruff for years Now get rid of it in three minutes with Fitch dandruff remover shampoo Three minutes with Fitch regularly is guaranteed to keep unsightly dandruff away forever Apply Fitch before wetting hair rub in one minute add water lather one minute then rinse one minute Every trace of dandruff goes down the drain three minutes with Fitch embarrassing dandruff's gone Fitch can also leave hair up to 35 percent brighter get Fitch dandruff remover shampoo today And now act two of yours truly Johnny dollar and the merry-go-round But I tell me what it's all about mr. Cartwright what it's all about My nice new art gallery what else now come along you have an art gallery now Johnny Ever since I went over to Paris last summer and saw that louver place with all those pretty things in it I decided I'd better have an art gallery to Maybe not as big but with everything just as good well Louvre has some pretty valuable things and by spending a bit of money I have some things that even the louver couldn't get Yeah, turn on the light How do you like it? The gallery was 50 or 60 feet long maybe 30 feet wide with a high vaulted ceiling a floor of solid marble The tall narrow windows were all of beautiful stained glass Around the walls were some of the finest paintings. I've ever seen that's a Romney Johnny a genuine Romney And you see this Matissee over here and How about this? There were statues and various other sculptures Beautiful tapestries valuable urns and vases rare pieces of jewelry and well just about everything you could think of Crack right must have poured millions into this place and all within the space of only a few months. Isn't it nice Johnny? Unbelievable and when I get tired of it. It's showing it off to people All right, and I'll give all these pretty things to that big museum over in Hartford. I think they like them too Don't you oh sure what I can see your problem. All right problem What problem the reason you asked me to come here? Well, of course I did because of the possibility of theft theft It was robbery and Johnny you've got to solve it for me. You mean it's already happened of course it has Why do you think I sent for you what's been taken one of the most valuable things my whole collection a sacred painting a holy picture? Only it was more than just a picture. It was an icon Johnny It was encrusted with emerald and Ruby. How big was it mr. Cadre? It was nine inches high and about four inches wide very heavy It was hanging on the wall under that light right there Johnny was worth over 90,000 dollars a thing as valuable as that hanging right out in the open so that people could see it yeah and Small enough to be hidden away under an overcoat. Yes, that's why I hadn't thought of that I'm afraid you had it coming mr. Cartwright. You're lucky that more isn't missing What do you mean by that what I mean you alone in this place with all these valuable objects of art Letting all sorts of people in to see them well pretty things like these have to be seen to be appreciated Well, did you ever screen any of the people you let in here? Hi, you think for one minute the kind of people who would come to admire these nice things would ever steal anything somebody did Guess you're right, but you were wrong about my being in here alone when it happened What do you mean every day Johnny during the hours people were allowed to come in and look at my things I had a guard on duty all the time. Oh a registered peace officer Well, no, he just happened to be the first man who answered my ad. Oh, great. Where is he now? After this happened yesterday, I am I suppose it was unkind of me But I let him go I telephoned this morning told him not to bother coming back And I sent him a check for a couple of hundred dollars Just severance pay in other words you paid him for robbing you. You know where he lives anything about him Yeah, I have his address in town. Okay, then you better give it to me He wasn't the only precaution I took and I said you see I never let more than one person come here into the gallery at a time and I always stayed with him I was so man. It was getting late. The guard was about to leave But there was a knock on the door and so I answered it And who do you think was there? I'll bite who as sweet little old man He was all dressed in rags. He said he'd heard about the icon. He'd like to see it So I showed him in here and did you stay with him? Well No, because just then there was another knock on the door And who do you suppose okay who this time Johnny it was Jonathan Jonathan people. Oh, yeah, my oldest and dearest friend. He lives down in New York. Oh, yes I remember the oldest most loyal friend. I am sure he was the one who gave me a hand that time We all thought you were lost at sea a bit of an eccentric doll Yeah, but anyhow it was Jonathan and the cars he gave me the usual lecture lecture Oh, you know the sort of thing that you would I'm afraid I don't understand You know about it being wrong for me to have all these valuable things here in my home and being alone at night And maybe somebody might break in try to kill me and get at them. Oh, that's sort of nonsense Nonsense now you listen to me mr. Cabaret now as we were about to come in here to the gallery. I Saw that the old man was leaving So naturally I stayed out there at the front door to say goodbye to him and to have the guard look him over And pat his clothes over and but then Johnny Oh Johnny that poor old man. What happened he tripped over the door seal and had a terrible fall Well the guard helped him up and made sure he wasn't badly hurt and well I I just gave him a few dollars just in case and I had the guard brought him back to town Uh-huh, and then you found the icon was gone It was Jonathan who came out and asked me what I'd done with it and Johnny when I looked and it wasn't there And I was so upset. I just For the first thing this morning. I put in that call Well, that's probably too late to do any good But give me the address of that guard you had on here and tell me what he and the old man look like the guards name is Gummy is what? Gummy O'Banion Gummy O'Banion What's the matter with you anyhow? Don't you remember? Gummy O'Banion was mixed up in more rackets down in New York in the old days Of course I remember why under the sun would you hurt me that he's through with all that it has gone straight And he's retired and he's the one you picked for a guard. Oh, brother Johnny you don't think that he that gummy no you want to bet You know something I'm glad that mr. Cranberry didn't want to bet as I said before any case where he's involved when you can bank on just one thing The solution isn't going to come from any logical process of deduction or series of sensible clues It's gonna come from way out in left field and believe me. That's exactly what happened on this one Constipation is something people don't talk much about But it can be a problem for anyone even doctors and when constipation occurs It's interesting to see just what doctors consider important about a laxative. They might use or recommend Now a majority of the doctors we heard from had this to say a laxative should be effective Gentle as close to natural acting as possible and a medicine that can be used with complete confidence Well pleasant tasting chocolate at x-lax is effective Overnight it helps you toward your normal regularity x-lax is gentle next morning. It gives you the closest thing to natural action And that's why many doctors and millions of people use x-lax with complete confidence x-lax the laxative that helps you toward your normal regularity gently overnight Is x-lax in your medicine cabinet and now act three of yours truly Johnny dollars The address of gummy O'Banion turned out to be a little more than the shack of the south end of town But there was a light inside so I parked well on down the street and pulled a peeping Tom act at the window The light was coming from the window was slightly a jar Inside sitting at a bare wooden table guzzling beer were O'Banion and a ragged looking little old man On the table between them was a stack of bills not only tens and 20s But I spotted several fifties among them as they poured them over And you know what Cartwright says he said to me 200 severance to what do you think of that doc 200? That's right. So with that and all this dough the other guy gives us for that act We pulled at the front. Oh that guy why doc you and me won't have to work for months. That's pretty good Yeah, doc that's pretty good. Well, they don't me up another bottle out beer, huh sure Doc I still don't get it what that other guy wanted is to make all that fuss for him there at the front door You've fallen down and me helping you up and all the diversion he called it. Well, that means diverse version Yeah, and what do you say his name is the one that give us the dough, huh? Oh crazy kind of name reminds me of a church Like I didn't wait to hear that name I didn't need to because things had suddenly begun to add up the wrong way Instead of disturbing the two lucky gentlemen I got back in my car and drove drove hard And I didn't stop until I got all the way down to New York to a fancy apartment building on East 52nd Street It was well after midnight and the uniformed dormant was half asleep and a little grumpy about it Oh, look where you think I am my brother's keeper or whatever it is. They say and a crazy old man And you have no idea at all where he might be Your name ain't dollars. What'd you say? I asked is your name dollars all yeah, that's right Johnny dollar. Why why don't you say so? We'll coot left this note for you. He want me a dear Johnny I Have tried all day to reach you by phone But with no success knowing you I'm sure that sooner or later He will come to look for me here at my apartment. I can only ask your indulgence When you return to Alvin Cartwright's home You speak with me before you talk further with him. What the icon incidentally is safely ensconced in the bottom of one of the large Roman urges there in the gallery Jonathan W. People's But now will somebody please tell me what's your matter, mister Here is a five spot for your trouble. Well, thanks, Johnny. You're okay So I drove on back to Lakewood to Cartwright's home after a quick stop for some breakfast along the way Not only was there no guard at the front door, but the door was unlocked And I wondered had Jonathan people's deliberately left it that way for me Anyhow I sneaked inside and there sure enough in the breakfast room their backs toward me with a two-wild old characters Or maybe just one such and his really good friend You are unless you solemnly promised me two things promise What are you talking about that you'll immediately immediately mind you that you'll turn this whole collection over to a museum The way you plan to do sooner or later anyway, but Jonathan, I haven't got tired of it yet No, well by the time you do somebody will come here and bash in that silly head of yours Or at least come here and steal some of those things over with me around there I just like to see anybody try That's right the icon are such a lovely thing and you'd like it back Yeah, you crazy of course. I'd like it back. Well, you'd also have to promise to have some honest legitimate guards around here now Immediately 24 hours a day you and your ex gang. Yeah, I guess I was wrong about him Of course you were he might have killed you unless you make those promises out and somebody will you stupid incompetent? Oh, don't you talk like that, but it's true isn't it? Of course it is Of course it is this whole thing was silly right from the beginning and and losing that beautiful icon Would you like it back? Yeah, I do anything back anything. There's anything you can hear can't you? I can give it to you. Well, I don't care what you can do. I care about it You that's right. I have it. I'll be glad to give it to you Janet Jonathan if you keep your word, you're a crook. That's what you are I am not a crook, but if you have the icon is because you stole it. I did not you're a thief That's what you are. I think I am. There's only one way you could have gotten it by stealing. Oh, you silly old fool Don't you see don't I see what all I did was hide it away from you in the hopes of knocking some sense into that thick skull of yours Well has it it made you realize that you have no business keeping a valuable thing like that around here All right, Jonathan. I'll admit you did the right thing. You brought me to my senses But now give it to me Well, come on give it to me. Oh only uncondition you make those promises to me. Didn't I say I would then do so? I do Yes, I crossed my heart and I hope to die for there now. I'll give me back the icon Well, I said I will did not well. Well, they do so And if you think for a minute that was the end of it you're wrong Those two wild old men sat there for the better part of an hour Squabbling shaking their fists at each other and a half dozen times. They almost came to blows But finally they ran out of breath put their arms around each other shed some tears of repentance And then as they've done so many times before quietly solemnly swore undying friendship for each other What a bear The expense account I bought her after all by now Alvin Peabody Cartwright has probably forgotten he even sent for me So yours truly Johnny Our star has a few words for you about the case you'll investigate on next week's program It's called the Sidewinder matter and the whole thing happens out in the middle of the great Mojave desert Believe me It doesn't take long for me to realize the desert could be a mighty dangerous place So join us won't you right here on the station that brings you all the best in radio yours truly Johnny dollar Barring Bob Bailey originates in Hollywood and is written produced and directed by Jack Johnstone heard in our story We're Lawrence Dobkin Howard Mcnear Frank Gerstle will write Forrest Lewis and Joseph Curran's Be sure to join us next week same time and station for another exciting story of yours truly Johnny dollar This is John Wall speaking a terrorized model races for the end of the road Joking drama of suspense next on the CBS radio network Are your reward at orange motors for a board Get your orange guarantee from the largest dealer in Albany in the heart of auto Orange is the place to go Or is motors as the parts is true plus 44 years of experience to orange motors If you're wise for better service better fine What a new Ford right now come to orange motors and choose from a large selection of new 1964 orange has new boards and new Falcons lots of them for a better deal by Ford By at orange motors 799 Central Avenue Albany. What a new Ford right now go to orange motors right now better for advice used or new at 799 Central Avenue Orange motors if you're wise for better service better advice Radio 59 WROW first on the dial serving Albany Troy and Schenectady you