 I'm sorry maami, we need to start with the slides already. Maybe the first slide we can incorporate in what you want to say. So the first one is manome ni kujikaza at what cost. So the topic is suffering in silence, manome ni kujikaza at what cost. You wanted to say something. What Dr. Zulu had said about, before that we go a little bit rewind to the part where you said about fathers. I think behind every man who behaves in dismal ways, who behaves without decorum lies a parent who failed in one way or the other. Most of the time, if not all the time, parents have confused the role of being a parent to just providing or making sure that you have food, making sure that you go to school, making sure that you have a roof over your head and a comfortable place to sleep in and they forget to set good examples for their children. It's more than just being there financially, you have to set an example. If I'm doing this, if I am a parent and I'm doing this, would I be happy if my child behaved in the very same way? Parents are forgetting that. So have you ever met a man? Okay, most of the time I have seen men who behave in the most horrible way and I ask, who is your mother or who is your father? It is so annoying that someone could behave that way and I think it isn't really how someone has, it is not just something that comes up, you wake up and it has been instilled in you. It's something you grew up with. If you are a man who hits your wife, it is because you grew up under the very same influence and for you, you think it is normal to hit a woman. If you're a woman who hits a man, it's because you have grown with the very same and you think it is okay to hit this man because he is not listening and you hit him. You think that's okay and it is not. So it all starts from the parents. I understand what you're saying, but I'm also of the notion that anytime now you could be a parent. Yes, true. Start thinking like a parent. You can't keep blaming a parent. We will not blame them how the child turns out on the parent. We have two factors called attitude, your own choices because the same parent brings up a very well to do a child and another one is off the same parent. So if I serve you the same food and you agree you didn't grow, the problem is you, not the food. So I think we need to say she's very true that modeling has a lot of impact but we're also adding that your choice is also a fact. You will not leave blaming your parents on everything and one of these days because the next pressure was going to tell you is the economic times you're living on impact the man more than the woman. When there are no jobs and all that because the first responsibility to provide was the man's. When there is no money, the pressure falls on him first before it goes to the women. We are not minimizing the role of the woman, but we also know that men are committing suicide more. They are going, hey, we are more. They are giving up, they are just quitting and part of my ambition and so help me God is to help young people employ themselves. The problem with our education system it prepared us to be employed, not to be entrepreneurs. They heard and then you get a good job. At government job, how many people can government employ? Another thing is we have a population burst. We are so many now, more than we have ever been. So all the companies that were existing cannot sell that fast to accommodators but I was wondering, I was looking in Ileona school bus is yellow and all that and people are passionate about schools. But I was wondering how many of us because just look at big schools, big names, the northern school, mountain school, the school went on and all that. But we are asking, these schools, what are they producing? I wish they were coming to town to demonstrate real skill like drawing art, something that they can produce money with. Yes, it seems to be burning. Now the fact is that the woman before she gets into a relationship with the male, does he match the background of this guy? Is he employed, is he not employed? Like how much does he make in a month? There's a muitisha this, maybe he doesn't have it. Then it's okay to get to know the man before you judge him. But you people lie and you pretend and you even get your boys into it. Maybe I want to get your attention. I have to lie to you at first. So I'll buy you Indian Ocean. Because you are the most beautiful girl in the world. I have passport. I have passport but I don't know what to say. No let me not say that. Say! I don't know what to say. I think... What men are lies because the lies are on demand. You guys enjoyed it. Someone actually told me we like to be lied to and I'm not... I think it's a little... Guys who tell the truth are boring. I think it's a little bit. I beg to differ because a guy who tells the truth to me that is actually very enticing. If you tell me the truth I will appreciate your honesty and like a man who will lie to me then later on I get disappointed. It sounds like... Thank you. Tracy you see you are not the majority. You are picking the virtuous girl. No I'm not picking the virtuous girl. I'm just trying not to be narrow minded as the current generation is. So therefore you are still minority. Why you once there? I don't think I've ever been there. I've always grown up differently. You know... What came with me is that I like to believe there is always an opposite of something. Inasmuch as there is bad I've seen so much of bad I believe there is good. Thank you for saying believe. I believe there is good. I believe and I've actually seen good. I have met men. And it is better. Me and Rafi belong to that class. Happily for you. Excuse me. We'll go to the next slide. Thank you very many. Watfefo on Facebook, Watfefo channel on Twitter. How many battered men never come forward? How many battered men never come forward? And this is very interesting topic. Battered physically, battered emotionally. Let me tell you how to slap a man. Don't use your hand. Don't use your hand. If you use your mouth that slap you will live with it. What kind of a guy are you? And you are the kind of woman he was looking forward to to believe in him. And she has mentioned a very key point. That when girls are dating and all that, one thing men are looking for is a woman who will just believe him when he is real. But how to know when you are real? You guys need to walk around with signs. I'm being real. I'm being fake right now. No, that's up to you. Two guys in a relationship. You need to know when you are real. You need to know when you are real. You need to know when you are real. You need to know when you are real. And especially you have learned how to tell lies from truth. What I discourage teenagers 19, 20 and 21 and 22 from dating is because their eyes can't tell truth from lies. Especially except a few have been mentored by adults. Especially first born adults have been mentored to tell truth from lies. Kudanganya kuna chikwang a lot of energy. Mutuana kwa mge wungu first of all to me and get a lot of hand gesture because they are creating it as they are talking it. Akiyongia wukweli we are animated. And they repeat questions. How did you find yourself? I knew how to define myself there. I found myself there by they are connecting dots very quickly. You said you wouldn't encourage people of what age to 22 below. I can't call 22 the age of mystics. Mili se mamu date li, that time I was here. Not as a final. You are final also. I have come to notice that with just what he said stereotypes, most of the time give a lot of count on what you will judge in the future. For example right now we have the very famous phrase that people say and I never say I do not believe in but many people say men are dogs. And they say it so much that they actually no please let me finish because they say men are dogs. They say men are dogs. So let me tell you this. Once you believe that or you believe men are liars, men are dogs, men what else? What is there that people say? Trash. We are men at trash. What else? We are open at the same time. This is how it goes. Once you have that notion and once you believe that it does not matter what form this man will come in whether he will come as the perfect embodiment of Christ, bathed and sanctified in holy water you would still see him as a dog. Most of the time. That is how it always is. Water. Don't hold it. Teacher is calling for a break because we need to go to the next slide. Time is running away from us but I am quite enjoying this heated debate and your conversation however you seem to look at it. Okay. Sharing thoughts and feelings ni umama. Is this hurting the adequate growth of the boy child? Mama bagat metumia kizungu. Is it hurting the adequate growth of the boy child? Can you not share your thoughts and feelings? Okay. Let's say I'm in the hood with my boys. Nikuna homies pali. Then like nwa chapewe. Eh Jojana mama niyami niyami niyami ni kaliya, you see. These guys will definitely laugh at me ya water niyama. Kusuna ona niyami ni kakaliya eri ni kai na misita sayamu. Kweli. Ya. Then like when my girl gets the report siyata sayama uhu kuna umama. Umenda oka nii payana uko inje. Nini ni you say Ya understand. If you had a situation that had just happened let's say you in a relationship I'm going to put you in a hypothetical relationship. Alofu mebiki tu anyumba ni kufaniki kwa mazauti na iisdfieldu fezistu ng Nateku ya independent rabbadi Ngili? saludia ya lisha n stormat nisi sexo Yes The problem nowadays is that when you're with someone, whether your friends or your girlfriends, you don't create a platform where you can be able to express yourself freely. That is where you find people are dating someone but they are complete strangers. Most of the time, why people don't say things or don't open up is because the very same things they say have been used against them. You come and tell me this happened to you and I will be like, Oh, omeni angushanayo, you've done this and you've done that, and I use it against you. You see you are already hurting, you're hurting enough, I don't need to use this against you again. So I think people should create a platform whereby they can be able to speak to one another, not just girlfriend and boyfriend. What is girlfriend and boyfriend? Isn't just getting a quiet room and you have a moment of intimacy then that's it. There should be communication. Beyond physical intimacy there should be emotional openness. What would make your girl feel special if it's not knowing what's really going on in your life? Ati, but she has said one fear men have. The last time I expressed my heart, I was heart more, so I learned to close in on my heart. Ati, niku se ma unit, a person you can trust so that ili wu me se ma ita trimua next against it. And all of us when we were young we trusted the wrong people. Like in the Bible Joseph told the very people that you need to know what's really going on in your life. So you should not tell people lightly to be threatened by the very thing. So I think she has a very true point. Another thing, maybe I have no parents who I can tell. My homies have already told them there's no solution. My girl is back in the crib at home. I have no solution to the issue that I have. So I just kick you to myself. A problem shared is a problem have solved. Okay, have solved. At least kuna kaki tu kamienda kwa hanzo upo moe. Kuna kutuna kiki? To say me wu mefiniwa na rent, wu mefiniwa na doa wuna, wu wu kumeku patala wami kuhanda. Isi doa wami kuhanda. Kwa li kuchana atua sense. So iti de wu niya kwa wami niya kutuni e doa. Una express to, how was your day today manze? Nyes, bukani mejerik maliza patili doa. Don't worry ituna, mini mungu wia with you. Ii o tu, ataka maji kutuni e npesa. That support is important. I am coming to learn every day that it's very important to affirm your man. It's very important to affirm. Sila zimo soa tum choche, but ikue tu, you can do this. Yes, ningu mo, but I got your back. Important, yeah. It is very important actually. It sounds like you're talking to a child sometimes, but like a straight face and mean it. Because you know, wem wu niya wu na ngependa kwa iskia. So when you're having a bad day. So give it back to him. As much as this man behaves, he is as macho as he wants to look, this man actually needs motivation. There is this artist who sang a song and says even heroes need heroes sometimes. That is actually true. And I think if you have a girlfriend whom you are not telling things, you are dating the wrong people. You should have people whom you can be able to express yourself freely. You know, the problem with most relationships in our days, like just as you have said it, it is like you are always on an interview. You see, you are afraid to do this. Maybe if I did this, it would have been too much. Or if I did this, it would have been too much. It's always like you're in an interview or an audition. What is wrong? And what is the performance that you are tired of being? And do you know what she says? She says, she put up an image. You are always on your phone. I also told people it's still difficult to maintain an image because we are always talking. So the more real I want to be, you seem to be... I am so sorry. Today the conversation is very hot and I think I don't want to go away. But we are going to do this. We are going to read your messages because you matter. In fact, you should probably be more... Be more of matter. Matter more. Let's try matter more. You matter more because we are here because of you. I tried five from Facebook. I tried five for a channel on Twitter. Hashtag is why in the morning... Okay, gimme gimme gimme that sauce. So we have... Wow. African men don't cry girls do but they suffer just the same or even more. Is it true? Is it false? Talk to us. So we have apparently... Lazo, good morning Val. Good morning to you. It's good to be part of a... Okay, guys. Good morning Val. It's great to be part of this discussion today. Mone I would say an African man has been taught to be strong. The narrative of masculinity is deep rooted in our practices that we find crying a petty thing. Oh my gosh. We have Dennis Evans. We have Dennis Evans and then we have Zipi Mugure saying good morning. Good morning to Zipi. We have Kipkeme Boasis. Watcha badua semiati men don't. I do cry every time I get hurt because I know there's power in tears. Men do cry when they get that shoulder to lean on like true friends or real girlfriends and parents. We don't do public announcement like girls crying on streets. We don't do public announcement like girls crying on streets too. One Nancy says, always watching from Kangema. Always appreciate you. One Nancy, we have Kim Kim. True men do suffer a lot. Like I have passed a lot and hard to my life even can't tell it. Oh, I'm so sorry. I really hope you have a friend you can share with Kim Kim. We have Remy Kago says it's obvious that men do suffer. CWM Tapele says situations do change and hurt and only option is to let it flow. Anatka doonda. Timoakanda I see you in Jeriudeni. It says we men go through hell ask me. As you continue please do not be afraid. Tell us what you really think and we have a producer Magustu Babu says this is true men do suffer and he says lovely Sana. It is always always lovely. Happy your comments displayed. Me naapenda tu. Just in short, atasiki zungunda kupia. Me naapenda tu na vanyatu kawwewe utu patiapu comments ako. Facebook, Y-54, at Y-54 channel, Twitter hashtag is why enumaki. Guys, we gotta live, we gotta go. Can you summarize in a few words please? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I would like to say, okay guys open up, feel free to share your thoughts, feelings, everything. A solution is apatikana tu. Right? It's gonna be okay. Thank you, thank you. Okay, I want to encourage all men that let's be real, you last longer when you are real. And if you want, if you want and there's no need to die, don't collapse men. And if you need professional assistance, if you want us to chat, my Facebook is Zulu Benjamin. Zulu Benjamin Facebook, Gmail, Zulu Benjamin, at gmail.com. Yeah, I hear he's a very honest guy. Weh, weh, weh. Weh, enumami your last remarks. I would like to say that to the young generation right now, don't get it twisted by what people say or the stereotypes out there. Love is a beautiful thing. Get out there, experience it. You'll not love when you feel love. And when it's also not love and it turns into something else, also know it. And as for the men, masculinity or you being strong or you being macho should not be at the cost of your own self-peace and tranquility. That is all that I can say. Love is a beautiful thing, experience. And parents set a good example. There are a couple of boy children who want to see you after this. I don't know. All right, my message is to queens. Queens please are from your man. Just be good. Speak life into him. Tell him he's amazing. And he can do this. He got this. He should not have any reason to fear. We're just mumbetu vitu po po asawa and mean them. Look it to his eyes maybe even a little bit. Who squage a boring girlfriend all the time. I try to find from Facebook. I try to find from China on Twitter. Hashtag is why in the morning we are so, so glad you decided and chose to spend these couple of hours with us. You could have been anywhere else. We want to wish you a spectacular day and we will be coming up with more updates from the collapsed classroom at Dougoriti from the school. Let me not make a mistake. Precious talent school. All right guys, this is the part where we wave.