 Ladies and gentlemen, here we are back on the air again. As you probably know, Jack recently returned from a U.S.O. tour in the Far East. So now let's go back and show you what happened the day our little star arrived home. Well, Mary, Jack will be here pretty soon. Yeah, and I'll sure be glad to see him, Don. I'll bet Jack will be glad to get home where you'll be able to step into a hot tub again. You're not kidding. What are you laughing at, Mary? Jack sent me a picture of himself taking a bath and a barrel. Here it is. See? Yeah. Oh, wait a minute. That doesn't look like Jack. Where's his hair? He's using it for a wash rag. Well, that's Jack getting his back scrubbed in a shampoo at the same time. Next plane is supposed to pull up at gate four. Let's push in a little closer. Okay. You see, Chloe, I told you there'd be lots of excitement here at the airport. Oh, you're right, Clem. Why, I haven't seen so many people since MacArthur came through Calabasas. Is that Clem? Who is this fellow you dragged me down here to see today? Jack Binney. Who? Jack Binney, the star of stage, screen, radio and television. You ought to know him. He played the violin at your Aunt Poodie's wedding. Oh, yes, I remember. Instead of, oh, promise me, he played the hot canary. That's the boy. The plane is coming in now. Control tower to pilot. Pilot to control tower. Pilot to control tower. Pan-American special flight from Tokyo coming in for a landing. Mr. Benny, you can take your head out of my lap now. Thank you. This trip wasn't half as rough as I thought it would be. Oh, this was a very smooth flight. And in just a moment, we'll be landing at the International Airport in Los Angeles. Control tower to pilot. Control tower to pilot. Here are your landing instructions. Go ahead. Weather clear. Well, of course it's Los Angeles. Gee, I can recognize all those landmarks. Oh, yes, there's the Hollywood Bowl. And there's the California Bank. There's the Coliseum. Look, and there's the Bank of America. There's Westlake Park. And there's the Security Bank. Look, there's where they're building the Amalgamated First National. Oh, a new one. Isn't this exciting? And now, Mr. Benny, we're coming in for a landing, so go sit down somewhere and fasten your safety belt. Okay. Look, there's Jack getting off the plane. I see him. Come on, Mary. Let's push through the crowd. Oh, Jack. Jack. Oh, boy, it's good to see it. It's good to be back. Come here up, Mary. I'm going to give you a great big kiss. Oh, Jack, not in front of your friend. My friend? Yes, that man standing right behind you. He came off the plane with you. All these people who follow celebrities. Oh, look, Mr., will you please beat it? I can. What? Remember when the pilot told you to sit down and fasten your safety belt? You sat on me and tied my suspenders around you. Oh, I'm sorry. I'll untie them. Would you go ahead and kiss her? Thank you. Jack, I'm going out the main gate and hold a cab for you. Okay. Gosh, Mary, look at all these people at the airport. I wonder how many of them came down to see me. After all, I am a celebrity. Hi, Rube. Oh, yes, yes. How are you? Fine, fine. I'd like you to meet my wife. How do you do? She ain't no Jane Russell, but she's my kind of woman. Certainly nice meeting. Jack, Don is waving at us. He's got a taxi. Okay, let's go. So long, Rube. So long, so long. Goodbye, Miss Russell. Right over here, Jack. The cab's right here. Oh, here we are. Thanks, Don. Ah, I'll be glad to get home. Where to, folks? 366 North Camden Drive. Yes, sir. Just think. Ten hours ago, I was in Honolulu, and now I'm almost home. Well, Jack, don't you feel tired and worn out after that long trip? Yes, Don, but it was quite an experience doing those shows in Korea. We had a great show, too. There was Marjorie Reynolds, Vinay Vanuda, Frank Remly, June Bruner, Harry Kahn, Dolores Gay, and Errol Flynn. He was our chaperone. And, Don, one incident that happened in Korea I'll never forget. This was so exciting. We were just about 10 miles above the 38th parallel. Say, mister, do you want me to go up Sepulveda to Sunset or cut across the Santa Monica Boulevard? Either way, either way. Anyway, kids, we were above the 38th parallel, and we stayed with this battalion for three days. I'll get this. We marched right with them. For three days and nights until we finally reached the outskirts of Yangdong, Seoul. Now, to enter this village, we had to cross a little stream, and we were so tired, so dirty and grimy, we jumped right into the water. And, Mary, you'll never guess what. You were the only one with a wash rag. I was not. Now, Mary, listen, that night, get this, that night we were tamped on the outskirts of the town, you know, just a few miles from the front lines. There was a dark night, no moon, when all of a sudden... It's shorter by Santa Monica, but there ain't so much traffic on Sunset. Driver, go any way you want, as long as I get home. All right, I'll go by Pico. Go, Pico, go, go. Anyway, kids, look at that night. Kids, I don't want you to get the impression, look at that I was braver than the others, but it was about two o'clock in the morning when I was awakened by a rustle in the bushes near my tent. I didn't have a gun, but never the land. You mind if I turn on the radio? Look, and I don't care what you do. Thanks. Anyway, kids, look at when I heard this noise, I went out to investigate. I got down on all fours, was crawling along the ground, and all of a sudden... Anyway, I crawled around to the side of the brush, and there in a gully were four snipers. I had to think fast. I knew I could get a hand grenade, but then I found that it was protected by a barbed wire which had a high voltage of electricity running through it. Just turned from Correa, where he spent several weeks entertaining our boys. Wait a minute, wait a minute, he's talking about me. Driver, driver. No, no, don't turn it off, turn it on, turn it on loud. He's talking about me. What? Your radio, turn it on. Okay. It's 366 North Canada Drive. Gosh, Mary, I can't get over it. Here I am home, and only 36 hours ago I was in Tokyo, Japan. Watch your step, Mary. I'll take care of the cab. Here you are, driver. 75 yen. Keep the change there. yen? They're no good here. Look, if you can get them changed at the bank. Now, come on, kids, let's go in the house. Well, Jack, Jack, look who's coming down the walk to meet you. The house. You really miss me, huh, Rochester? Yeah. All the way to your way, this old house was so lonely. I'd go into the living room and see a big easy chair sitting there with no one in it. I'd feel like crying. Geez. Trees outside were in bloom, but they didn't mean nothing to me. Oh, Rochester. Words were singing, but I never could seem to hear them. The sun was shining, but I never saw it. Really, Rochester? Yeah, I never got up to eight o'clock at night. That's what I thought. Say, look, hey, the Coleman's had their house painted, didn't they? Yeah. Jack, there's Benita at the kitchen window, and Ronnie's looking out of the upstairs window. Oh, yeah. Ronnie! If they're going to give a party for my homecoming. Could be they gave a dilly when you went away. Well, that was nice. Oh, gosh. Home. Home, sweet home. Ah, the house sure looked good. Everything is just like I left it. Yeah. Diana was in the corner, my easy chair by the lamp, and Rochester, that picture on the wall. Who is it? Shall we dust it and find out? Never mind. Look, kids, let's all sit down for a while. I just want to relax. All say, Jack, I've been meaning to ask you. I presume that on your trip there were various times when you had the opportunity to meet some very important people. Don, I'm glad you brought that up. Now, I was in Tokyo when General Ridgway and his wife gave a big reception at the embassy. It was a thrilling occasion. Say, Jack, I've seen so many pictures of Mrs. Ridgway in the papers, and she seems so charming. How was she to talk to? Well... You see, I didn't get a chance to meet Mrs. Ridgway because she was so busy with all the women there, but the general, General Ridgway, what a guy. He was so friendly, so congenial. Really, you've never met anyone like him. Oh, then you met General Ridgway. Well... You see, a funny thing happened, Don. Just as I was about to be introduced to him, General Van Fleet arrived. So naturally, we had a rush over and shake hands with him. Oh, then you shook hands with General Van Fleet. Well, almost. What do you mean, almost? I stuck out my hand and he handed me his hat. I was so embarrassed I didn't know what to do with it. If you had to put it on, maybe you'd have met somebody. Met somebody? What are you talking about? Before the evening was over, I met a lot of people. Why talk for nearly 30 minutes to Corporal Peterson? Corporal Peterson. He was the one who married Aunt Poodie, but they drafted him anyway. Anyway, kids, this is one trip I'll never forget if I live to be a... Oh, boss, boss! Yes, Rochester? It's your sponsor. On the phone? No, the picture I just dusted in. Oh, good, good. Now, what was I talking about? About not meeting any generals. Oh, yes, but that was in Japan. Now, Mary, when we got to Korea... Come in. Well, hello, everybody. Dennis! Hi, Mr. Penny. Welcome home. Well, thanks, kid. Thanks. Gee, you look wonderful. Well, thanks. Turn around. Okay. Gee, you look even better that way. Dennis, look, why can't you just walk? Well, never mind. Tell me, Dennis, did you go... Dennis, did you go anywhere on your vacation? Oh, sure. I went to Hawaii. Well, Hawaii. Well, did you take the boat? No. Oh. Then you went by plane, huh? No. Dennis, I'd like to hear the song you're going to do on the first program. Wait a minute, Jack. Aren't you going to ask him how he got to Hawaii? Not for a million dollars. This love... Great. It'll be nice for our opening show. Mahalo nui loa. O kule maluna mahi mahi e o loa hapa hala kamehameha kui moi. Sad, Dennis. Hawaiian. Oh, did you learn to speak Hawaiian while you were there? Mahalo nui loa. Kule maluna mahi mahi e o loa hapa hali kamehameha kui moi. What does that mean? I don't know, but if you say it to a Hawaiian girl, you get your face slapped. A peng heng tesu mingan kuli gu wao man. What's that? It's the same thing in Korea. You know, it's a funny thing, but when you go to a foreign country... Well, goodbye. It was nice being with you. Finally got the suspenders unfastened. Being that close behind me. Oh, Rochester. Yes, boss? Would you make us some sandwiches, please? No fool. Rochester, what happened to the money I left you when I went overseas? I'm sorry, boss, but that only lasted for three weeks. You know, a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to. How much did it leave you, Rochester? A dollar. Looking at me. He was supposed to buy seeds and grow things. I think that means... Oh, Mary, I'm tired. Answer the door, will you please? Oh, sure, Jack. Oh, my truly, truly bad. Thanks. Let me look at you, Liv. Turn around. Let me put the ray on you. You ain't changed a bit. You haven't changed either, Phil. Just set your glass on the table and come on in. Welcome home. Thanks, Phil. Before I forget it, I want to thank you for letting Remli come to Korea with me. Oh, that's all right, Jackson. He was very handy. Every time we did a show for the soldiers, he accompanied us on the guitar. Good, good. And I want you to know that I brought him back to you safe and sound. That's all right. No hard feelings. Anyway, Phil, it was a good idea. I mean, it was worth a try. All right, so we weren't lucky. Listen, the kid. Oh, that's fine. You want to know something, Liv? Alice got herself a new car yesterday. Ooh, that's nice. What kind? Oh, one of them foreign cars, a Dagmar. That's Jaguar. Well, Dagmar is a girl on television. I've changed it. What? Mahalo nui loa kula ma luna meneo. Now, how does Dennis behave yourself? Hey, Don C. I didn't see you. How are you, Don? Well, hello, Phil. All set for the first program? Yeah, ready to go for another season. Jack. What? I've waited long enough. I've got to ask him. What? Dennis, how in the world did you get to Hawaii if you didn't take the boat or the plane? No, no, wait. No, you don't. Well, it's the first time we've been together in months. I don't want that kid driving me crazy with his silly talk. Wait a minute. What's so silly about it? If he didn't take the boat to Hawaii and he didn't fly, maybe he took the train. Well, he took the train, eh? And how, pray tell, can anybody go by train from here to Hawaii? You can go into a pulmon and get a loa. But this morning, I told you that old man had... Phil, why don't you go back to your little grass shack and do what did he do? I'm going. I'm going. Hey, so long, Jackson. I'm gonna see you later. I'm going too, Phil. Well then, come on, Mary, Don, I'll drop you all off. So long, kids. Thanks for coming on. So long, Jack. Aloha. All right. So I bid on it. At least I have sense enough not to ask Dennis why he was wearing that grass skirt. Boss, would you like me to fill the bath up for you? Oh, not yet, Rochester. I think I'll just turn on the radio and relax a while. Okay. Yeah, go ahead, Rochester. See, that's a pretty song. You know, boss, considering how far you traveled, your clothes didn't get very wrinkled. So I'll just hang them up and... Boss. What's the matter, Rochester? What thing? Ain't that a hand grenade? Yes, but don't get frightened, Rochester. Just pick it up. Who, me? Rochester, believe me, it's all right. Pick it up and shake it. I know. It's the safest little piggy bank in the world. What are you laughing at? Boss, you haven't changed a bit, but it's sure good to have you home. Thanks. This is the United States Armed Forces Radio Service.