 Section 5 of THE ROMANCE OF AN OLD FOOL The philosopher was in love. It comes, I have no doubt, to every well-ordered man to be in love once. Some there are who maintain, with plausibility, that the passion we call love may be a frequent recurrence, and they point to the passing fancies of boys and girls, the romances of moonlight, the repeated sightings of the fickle Corridan, and the matrimonial entanglements of the aging Lydia, as evidence for their argument, that there are varying degrees of the ecstatic emotion cannot be truthfully denied. Heaven has wisely decreed that the heart, once filled with its ideal, may be compensated for the bitter hour of sorrow by the soothing balm of a new affection, and it is even possible that the second love may be more satisfying than the first, the third, or fourth more typical the exaltation than its predecessors. But love, whether early or late, in the perfect absorption of the faculties, comes only once. As compared with this remarkable mental state all other conditions are unemotional, unfilling. The true lover rises early before the world is a stir. If it is summer and in the country, his thoughts lead him to the cool groves, the shady banks of the river, the retired spots, where he may uninterruptedly commune with his happiness or his misery, and reflect on the blessings that are to be, or should be, his. Was it not then as a true lover that in the early morning I walked into the country, and down the banks of the stream, where Sylvia and I had strayed and talked in the sunny days of youth, and nature seemed a part of the wedding procession, and the squirrels and the fence-rails, and the robins, wrens and woodthrushes in the trees, chirped and twittered, John Stanhope is in love! John Stanhope is in love! And the mocking crow, lazily flapping his wings at a safe distance, croaked enviously, Ha-ha! Old Stanhope is in love! Ha-ha! Yet the whole conspiracy of animated nature could not make old Stanhope in his present exaltation regretful of his age, or ashamed of his passion. Every Eastman had accepted the situation without comment. She neither congratulated nor demurred, but went on with her household duties with the same method and precision as before. Men may come and go, hearts may be won and lost, republics may totter and empires may fall, but the grand scheme of sweeping, dusting, bed-making, and cooking knows no interruption. If I did not understand, I at least commended this house-wifely prudence. And often, when the domestic battle was at its height, I would spirit away my little charmer for the discussion of topics within my comprehension. At the outset I had declared that while it had pleased Providence to begin our romance in a burying ground, I did not propose to sacrifice all tender sentiment to meditations among the tombs, and I bore her away to the old tree down by the river, where we sat for hours together, as I unfolded my plans for our future life. A man who has sat at the feet of the philosophers from Ovid to Schopenhauer, and has gorged his intellect with the abstract principles of love, naturally adapts himself to the professorial capacity, and I soon saw that Phyllis, while one of the most lovable, one of the sweetest of girls, was almost wholly ignorant of the psychology of passion. I could not expect that a young girl of twenty-two would discourse glibly of the emotion in its intellectual phase, but I could not bear the thought that she should enter lightly into so serious a compact, and without gaining a reasonable comprehension of its mental analysis. Hence, as opportunity presented, I enriched her mind with the beauties of love from the standpoint of philosophers and thinkers, and showed her the priceless blessings that must result from a union dictated by careful provision of reasoning. To these addresses she listened with sweet patience, and if she did not always grasp their meaning, she showed much admiration for my erudition and frequently remarked that she had no idea that love was so obstruous a science. It seemed to me, in the serenity of my years and the calm assurance of my love, that I was a most persistent wooer, and I was greatly grieved when she broke out rather petulantly one afternoon. I don't believe you really love me. You don't believe I love you, and why? She hesitated, half abashed by her own outburst, then added a little defiantly. Well, in the first place, you never quarrel with me. And why should I quarrel with you? Aren't you the most amiable, the most perfect little woman in the world? Oh, of course, I know all that. But I have always read, and always believed, that when two persons are truly, deeply in love, they have most exciting quarrels. Is it not true that in all romances the man is eternally quarreling with the girl and bidding her farewell forever? Yes, and coming back in ten minutes to weep and grovel at her feet and beg her to forgive him. My dear little Phyllis, why should I bid you farewell forever, when I am morally certain that in half the time I should be cringing in the turf, weeping and begging you to say that all is forgiven and forgotten? That would be lovely, she said, pensively. Perhaps, but it would be very undignified and unnecessary. And I am not at all sure that you would admire me in that attitude, even if I did imitate the heroes of romance. A weeping lover is much more agreeable in a novel than an actual life. However, if you insist that we must quarrel, in order to demonstrate the sincerity of my affection, I shall suggest that we have our spats when we part for the night, in order that no precious waking hours may be lost. You are joking, she exclaimed with a little pout. Not at all. Still, I added reflectively, even this plan has its disadvantages, for if we quarrel when we part at night, it will necessitate my return to your window, which would not only annoy your aunt, but might scandalize the neighbors. Furthermore, it might give me a shocking cold, unless you immediately repented, for the nights are very damp. No, I sighed with great feeling, all this seems impracticable. You must give me a better reason for my coldness. Phyllis toyed with a clover blossom and made no answer. I went on, as a slight indication of my unloverlike auteur, let me confess that I am going to bring you a marvelously glittering bobble when I come back from the city, something that will bewilder you by day and dazzle you by night. She shrugged her shoulders. Of course you are. You're always giving me presents. I laughed at this. Well, suppose I am. I have never heard that it is a sign of waning affection to bestow gifts on the loved one. You refuse me nothing. I dare say you would give me the Boston Statehouse if I wished it. No, you are wrong there, I replied decisively. If I bought the Statehouse I should be compelled to include the emblematic codfish, and you know my aversion to codfish. She smiled at the thought, recalling the Sunday breakfast, and then with a roguish look and a half-embarrassed laugh, she said, At all events you cannot deny that you did not kiss me when you left last night. Didn't I, I asked in amazement, and then, quite thrown off my guard, I added thoughtlessly, I had forgotten. That, she replied quietly, was because you were so taken up with the philosophy of love and the mental attitude that you overlooked the physical demonstration. Do you remember the conversation? Unfortunately, I did. I recalled that I had spent an hour or more defining the moral status of love and proving the sufficing reason. It was not a pleasant reflection that so agreeable and instructive a conversation was not thoroughly appreciated. We spoke at length on love, I ventured feebly. That is, you did, she replied. I'll admit that it was better than an ordinary sermon because the subject was more personal. But don't you think we admitted the sufficing reason at the start? And isn't it natural that a girl who has been so conventionally brought up is pretty well satisfied in her own mind of the moral status? Of course, she added with a toss of her pretty head. I am not asking you or anybody else to kiss me. I am merely curious to know if this plays any part in the philosophy of love, as understood by the greatest thinkers. Her speech had given me time to pull myself together. No, I said with marked emphasis. I did not kiss you because I had noted the unworthy suspicions you have expressed today. And I was hurt and grieved. It was hard for me to exhibit my displeasure in this way. And I am regretful now that I have learned that it was simply playfulness on your part. Don't interrupt. I am satisfied that the pure merriment of your nature is responsible for this assault, and I shall take great pleasure in making up this evening for the deficiencies of last night. She laughed, and we were friends again. And with such jocular asperities the days passed quickly and agreeably until my nephew arrived with the plans and specifications. Frederick Grinnell was not only my nephew, but an architect of reputation and promise, considering his years and experience. Like Phyllis, he had been left an orphan early in life, and it had been my pleasure and privilege to give him an education and see that he was fairly started in life. While I think I may say that Frederick was not quite so attractive as was I at his age, he was nevertheless a fine manly young fellow, tall, well put together, of good habits, industrious, and devoted to his profession. It pleased me to see that he admired Phyllis's pretty face and bright animated manner, but one evening, when I fancied that he was too deeply stirred by her really beautiful voice, I took the opportunity to converse with him confidentially as we walked back to the tavern. I have been intending to tell you, Frederick, I began a little airily, of the relations existing between Miss King Lake and myself. So far it has been a profound secret. I did not then know that the entire village was gossiping about it, but I feel that I owe it to you, as my nearest relative, to admit that Miss Kingdale and I are engaged. I paused, and noting that he did not wince, or appear in the least degree, discomposed, continued, Of course you will respect my confidence in this matter. Of course, I added magnanimously. It will be perfectly proper for you to signify to Miss King Lake that you are aware of our little secret, as that will put us all on a better basis and lead to no misunderstandings. It would be awkward to play at cross purposes, and I should be extremely sorry, my dear boy, to think that I had withheld anything from you, for you have always enjoyed my fullest trust. Whatever he may have thought, his manner betrayed no unusual interest. I congratulate you," he replied, very calmly. Now that so perfect an understanding existed in the immediate family circle, I gave myself no further uneasiness. I was truly rejoiced to notice that Frederick was deferentially polite to Phyllis, and I encouraged him to show her those polite attentions which might be trod would reasonably expect from my nephew. And at times I even insisted that he should represent me at certain gatherings of Phyllis's friends, who were too young and frivolous to claim my serious attention. When he protested and pleaded headache, business, or other sign of disinclination, I rallied him good-humoredly on his lack of gallantry. Nonsense, my boy, I argued. A young fellow of your spirit should be only too glad to go out with a pretty girl and enjoy himself. You certainly would not deprive Phyllis of an evening's pleasure because your uncle has a stiff knee which interferes with his dancing and, confounded, you know they never let me smoke at these frolics. Come now, be a good fellow and show the proper family impulse. As they went off together I looked at them admiringly, and rather fancied that I saw in them a suggestion of what Sylvie and I had been when we made the rounds of the birthday parties. For it is fair to confess that the image of Sylvie did not infrequently rise before me, and I constantly saw in Phyllis the replica of her adorable mother. In my happiest moments I spoke of this suggestion to Phyllis and continued to regale her with fragments of my early life associated with her family. At first I thought that the girl was somewhat peaked, fearing that Frederick was thrust upon her, although she admitted that he was good-looking, polite, and danced extremely well, but I succeeded in convincing her that true love should not be gauged by the low standards of hot night dancing, and that all philosophers agree that the purest affection springs from quiet contemplation. Such as I should enjoy while she was making merry with her friends. To this she once ventured to remark that in that case perhaps my affection would thrive to greater advantage if I contented myself with thinking about her and not seeing her at all, a suggestion which wounded me in my tenderest sensibilities, for I was very much in love. I was also not a little disturbed when, supplemental to my reminiscences, Mary went back to the past and humorously drew pictures of me as her own early lover. There is considerable difference between the impalpable, airy spirit of the fancy, and a wrinkled and austere feminine actuality of fifty. In the midst of these innocent and improving pleasures, a small cloud appeared in the summer sky. I received a letter addressed in a peculiar but not ornate hand, and I opened it with misgivings and read it with consternation. Mr. Standhope, sir. Prudence and I thinks you'd better come home. The plumber was here twice yesterday and the cutworms is awful. Hero got glass in her foot, and the brown-tail moths is bad again, which is all for the present. Respectfully, Malachi. Duty is one of the exactions of life which I have never shirked when there seemed no possible way of evading it. But in this instance the call of duty was compromised by matters of equal urgency. For nothing can be more important than the successful administration of the affairs of love. It was a happy thought that suggested to me a way out of the difficulty, which was neither more nor less than that we should all go to the city together. I sprang the proposition at a family conference. Phyllis was delighted. There is always so much to be seen in the city, she cried. And I shall meet Mr. Buncey. It has been one of the dreams of my life to know a real literary man. This appeared to call for an explanation. Heaven knows I am not jealous of Buncey and would not deprive him of a single distinction that is honestly his. But a regard for the truth, coupled with much doubt as to Buncey's ability to live up to such lively expectations, compelled me to resort to a little gentle correction. My dear Phyllis, I said, you must disabuse your mind of that fallacy. Buncey is a popular novelist, not a literary man. But isn't a novelist a literary man? She asked in amazement. Not necessarily, I replied pittingly. In fact, I may say not usually. Of course, we are speaking of popular novelists. The popularity of the novelist is in proportion to his lack of literary style. The distinctive popular charm of Buncey is that he is not literary. At least, if he is, his critics have not succeeded in discovering it. He successfully conceals his crime. If he is popular, it is because he is not literary. If he were literary, he could not be popular. That does not seem right, said my little Puritan. It is not a question of ethics at all, but a matter of taste. However, don't be prejudiced against Buncey because he is a product of the time and fairly representative of the civilization. You shall meet him and shall learn from him how a man may succeed in so-called literature without any hampering literary qualifications. Mary did not receive my proposition in a thankful and conciliatory spirit. She shook her head doubtfully, and when we were alone together, she gave voice to her fears. Phyllis's country bred, she said, and knows nothing of the toils and snares that beset young girls in the city. Toils and snares, I echoed, one might gather from your objections that we contemplate taking Phyllis to the city merely to expose her temptation and corrupt the serenity of her mind. You seem to forget the elevating influences of my modest home. No, John, I dare say that your home is not objectionable, taken by itself. But I am not blind to the seductions of the great city. You too forget, she added, with a touch of complacency, that I am not inexperienced or without knowledge of the profligacy of the town. Granting all this, I said, highly diverted by her earnestness. And what are some of these seductions you have in mind? Theaters, she replied promptly. Theaters and late hours, midnight suppers and cocktails. I laughed uproariously. My dear Mary, if these deadly sins and pearls alarm you, we'll cut them out. I care little for theaters and less for midnight suppers. And as for cocktails, I shall make it my peculiar charge to see that Phyllis never hears the abominable word. Allowing for the removal of these temptations, I still think that a trip to the city would do our country flower a world of good, though I have nothing but praise for the manner in which you have brought her up. John, she answered very gravely, I have endeavored to do my duty as I saw it. I have tried to bring Phyllis up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The expression carried me back to my childhood, and I bit my lips. Of course you have, I said. Wasn't I brought up in this same village in the same way? Did not my good mother and my blessed grandmother inflict nurture and admonition upon me that I might grow up as you see me, a true child of the Pilgrim Fathers? The nurture, I remember, was a particularly hard seat in our particularly gloomy old meeting-house, and the admonition took up the greater part of the Sabbath day, with a disenchanting prospect of further admonition at home if I failed to keep awake. I do not mean to say that I am not thankful for the experience. In truth, I am doubly thankful, thankful that I had it, and thankful that it is over. To this, Mary Vout saves no further remonstrance than a distrustful shake of the head. Excellent woman! Is it not to such as you, earnest, faithful, self-sacrificing, God-fearing, that the best in young manhood, the purest in young womanhood, o' the strength of the qualities that are the vital force of the nation? End of Section 5 Recording by Roger Maline Section 6 of The Romance of an Old Fool This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Roger Maline The Romance of an Old Fool by Roswell Field Section 6 In the end, the united opposition was too much for Mary's arguments, and to town we went. The pleasure of the journey, on my part, was somewhat clouded as to the welcome we should receive from Prudence. And truly it acquired my greatest powers of dissimulation to feign an easy indifference and air of authority before that worthy creature, as with the most studied politeness and formal hospitality she received us at the gate. Prudence and I had sparred so many years that we were like two expert athletes, and while neither apparently noticed the other, each was perfectly conscious of the adversary's slightest movement. Hence I detected at once her strong aversion to Mary, whom she immediately selected as a probable mistress, and I saw her several times vainly try to repress a grimace of disdain and wrath. It was my first impulse to follow Prudence into the kitchen, after the ladies had gone to their rooms, and make a clean breast of the untoward tidings, but I lacked the moral courage and contented myself with an inward show of strength. Why should I pander to this woman's caprices? Was I not master in my own house? Should I not do as I pleased? I would punish her with the severity of my silence, and perhaps in a week or two, when she was more tractable, I would condescend to tell her exactly how matter stood. In this I would be firm. But the next morning, before my guests were out of bed, I decided that I was not acting wisely. Was not Prudence an old, faithful, and trustworthy servant? Had she not been loyal to my interests, and was not her whole life wrapped up in my comfort? Surely I wronged her to withhold from her the confidence she had so fairly earned, and the flush of shame came to my face, as I reflected that I was indulging my first deceit. I took a turn in the garden, in the heavenly cool of the early morning, to compose my nerves for a very probable ordeal, and then I walked boldly into the kitchen where Prudence sat, with a wooden bowl in her lap, pairing apples. It was one of the unwritten laws of the cuisine that Prudence was never to be disturbed when engaged in this delicate operation. She maintained that it destroyed the symmetry of the peel, and I daresay she was right. Consequently she looked at me reproachfully as I entered, and bent again more assiduously to her work. I was much flustered by the ill omen, but I knew that if I hesitated I was lost. So I advanced valorously, though with accelerated pulse, and said with all the calmness I could command, Prudence, I think it only right to tell you that I am going to be married. One apple rolled from the bowl down along the floor and under the kitchen stove. I cannot conceive of any shock, however great, that would cause Prudence to lose more than one apple. Partly to conciliate, and partly to conceal my own trepidation, I made a gallant effort to rescue the wanderer, and as I poked the hiding place with my stick, I heard her say, Lord, I know it had come! The fact that it has come, Prudence, I answered with a sickly attempted gaiety, does not seem to be a reason why you should call with such vehemence on your maker. There does not appear to be any need of providential interposition. Things are not so bad as all that. I always used my most elegant English when conversing with Prudence. If she did not understand it, it flattered her to think that I paid this tribute to her intelligence. Mr. John, she said, and there was a suspicious break in her voice. For twenty years I have tried to do my duty by you, and now that I must go— Go! I interrupted. Who said you must go? Who spoke about anybody's going? You certainly do not expect to turn that bowl of apples over to me and leave me to get breakfast. No, Mr. John, I shall go on and do my duty, as I see it, until you have made all your plans and are comfortable. Now, look here, Prudence. I am very comfortable as things are, thank you. And you will pardon me if I say I cannot understand why you should go at all. I shall continue to eat, I hope, after I am married, and I think it altogether probable that I shall require a housekeeper and a cook. I believe they do have such things in well-regulated families. At my age and with my experience, and considering how we have lived, Mr. John, I couldn't get along with a mistress, especially, she added with a touch of malice, with a woman considerable older than me. Older than you? What are you talking about? Miss King Lake is young enough to be your daughter. Another apple rolled on the floor. Miss King Lake? she exclaimed in astonishment. That lamb? Good Lord! I thought you were going to marry the other one. Prudence, I said rather hotly, for I did not relish her amazement. You will oblige me by not speaking of these ladies as the lamb and the other one. I might gather from your remarks that I am a sort of ravening wolf, instead of a well-meaning gentleman who is merely exercising the privilege of selecting a wife. But, I said, checking myself, for I was ashamed of my explosion, I shall be magnanimous enough to believe that you are delighted with my choice, and that I have your congratulations. You will be glad to know that Miss King Lake and I are perfectly satisfied with each other, and that we are both entirely satisfied with you. And now that we understand the situation, I think I may presume that we shall have breakfast at the usual hour this morning, and tomorrow morning, and for many mornings to come. And, by the way, Prudence, while I have honored you with my confidence, permit me to impress it upon you that this revelation is not village gossip as yet, and you will put me under further obligations by not mentioning the circumstance. Good morning, Prudence. Kindly call the ladies at eight o'clock, and thereupon I hastily departed, leaving the good woman in a state of stupefaction, since for the first and only time in our long and controversial association had I retired with the last word. Taking a second turn in the garden, I encountered Malachi, and my conscience reproached me. Am I doing right, I asked myself, in withholding the glad news from this faithful servant who has shown himself so worthy of my confidence? Is it not my duty to tell him not so much to interest him in his future mistress as to demonstrate the trust I repose in him? Malachi received my confidence with less excitement than I had expected. In fact, I was slightly humiliated by his seeming lack of gratitude. He touched his hat very respectfully and observed irrelevantly that the roses below the arbor were looking uncommonly well. This was a poor reward for my attempted consideration, and further convinced me of the uselessness of establishing anything like intimate relations with the proletariat. By the way, Malachi, I said in parting, you will keep this matter a profound secret. Miss King Lake and I are desirous that we shall not be annoyed by village chatter and premature congratulations. Having discharged my duty to my good servants, I felt that my obligations, so far as the relation with Phyllis was concerned, were at an end, and the morning wore away without further misgivings of disloyalty. In the afternoon Buncie came over for his daily smoke, and as we sat together in the library I noticed the entire absence of suspicion in his manner. My heart smoked me. Truly, I reasoned silently, I am behaving ill to an old friend who has never withheld from me the very secrets of his soul. Should I not be as generous, as outspoken with him as he has always proved to me? Should I not confide to him this one precious secret, at the same time swearing him to preserve it as he would his life? I blew out a ring of smoke, and then I began with the utmost seriousness. Buncie, how do you like the ladies? He shifted his position, tipped the ashes from his cigar, and replied tranquilly, Oh, I daresay I shall in time. The answer vexed me. Buncie was a bachelor, and should have been, therefore, the more impressionable. I forgot for the moment in my annoyance that he was a novelist, and had been so diligently creating lovely and impossible women to order that he was not easily moved by the realities of humanity. At all events, I replied with delicate irony. I am glad that the future is hopeful for the ladies. My reason for asking the question was simply to lead the way to a confidence I intend to repose in you. To proceed expeditiously to the end of a long story, I intend to marry one of them. Buncie's tranquility was unshaken. Which one? Which one, I echoed with heat. Why, Miss King Lake, of course? Does she intend to marry you? Naturally. Or, unnaturally? Confound your impertinence, I roared. What do you mean by that? No impertinence at all, my dear fellow. In fact, it is most pertinent. Miss King Lake is a girl, and you, well, you voted for grant. Which is your gentle way of saying that I am too old? No, not too old, just old enough, to know better. We are never too old to love, I said, conscious that I was uttering a melancholy platitude. Too old to love? Heaven forbid! But we may be too old to marry, at least to marry anybody worth while. Come, Stan Hope, tell me. Do you really love this young woman? Love her? Here I have been telling you that I intend to marry a charming girl, and you turn about and ask me if I love her? Of course I love her. I have been loving her in one way and another for years. What do you mean by that? I thought you only met her a few weeks ago. I smiled pittingly. So I did, but for years she has been my affinity. Incidentally, I don't mind saying I began by loving her mother. Buncie sat up straight. Oh, you loved her mother! Was her mother pretty? She was, as you see, Phyllis. In fact, I think she was, if anything, a trifle prettier. We were playmates and schoolmates, and in the nature of things, if I had not wandered off to the city, I presume we should have married. Dear little Sylvia, I went on musingly, I can see her at this moment, looking down from heaven and smiling on my union with her daughter. For if ever a match was made in heaven, this was. Confounded, what are you doing now? While I was talking, Buncie had reached over, taken a sheet of paper, and was busily writing. He looked up carelessly. Your story interests me, and is such good material that I thought I would make a few notes. Young boy loves young girl, goes to city, forgets her, young girl marries, has charming daughter, dies, years pass, venerable gentleman returns, sees daughter, great emotion on part of VG, thinks he loves her, proposes, accepted, mere—no, there I think I must stop for the present. Oh, don't stop there, I beg, I said sarcastically. If you are thinking of using these materials for one of your popular novels, be sure to throw in a few duels, several heart-rending catastrophes, and other incidents of what you will call action, appropriately expressed in bad English. Buncie was impeturbable. Thank you for your appreciative estimate of my literary style, he replied coolly. But really, my consideration for my old friend deprives me of the pleasure of robbing his diary. I was still out of temper. Buncie, I don't mind favoring you with a further confidence. You're an ass! With this parting shot, I strode out of the library when, remembering the sacredness of my revelation, I turned back. Of course you will understand, Buncie, that however flippantly you may choose to regard what I have said to you, you will have the decency to keep the subject matter to yourself. I do not ask your congratulations or your approval, but I demand your secrecy. The ass! braze acknowledgments! answered Buncie, meekly, helping himself to another cigar. You may rely on my loyal and devoted interest. The fact that I have heard your secret twice before today shall not open my lips or cause me to violate your trust. Notwithstanding my attitude of indifference, I was greatly troubled by Buncie's unfeeling suggestion. Could it be possible that I had mistaken my own heart? Was I, yielding as I had believed, to the first strong passion of my life, only deluding myself with the remembrance of my vanished youth? I dismissed the thought impatiently. For, after all, was not Buncie a hopeless cynic, a fellow without a single emotion of the ennobling sentiment of man toward woman, a sordid storyteller who created characters for money, wrecked homes, committed literary murders, played unfeelingly on the tenderest sensibilities, and boasted openly that the only angels were those made by a stroke of the pen and retailed at department store book counters? And while thus reasoning Phyllis came to me, so winsome in her girlish beauty, so radiant in the happiness I had infused into her life, so joyous in the pleasures of the present, that I laughed at my own doubts, reproached myself for my own unworthy suspicions, and straightway forgot both Buncie and his evil promptings. End of Section 6 Recording by Roger Moline Section 7 Of The Romance of an Old Fool This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Roger Moline The Romance of an Old Fool by Roswell Field Section 7 Love at 8 and 40 is a very pleasant and indolent emotion marking the most delightful stage in the progress of the great human passion. At 25 we talk it. At 35 we act it. At 45 it is pleasant to sit down and think about it. The very young man loves without really analyzing. Ten years later he analyzes without really loving. In another decade he has compounded the proportions of love and analysis and becomes, under favoring conditions, the most dangerous and hence the most acceptable of suitors. The man in middle life takes his adored one tolerantly and keeps his reservations to himself. In the ordinary course of events he has acquired a certain knowledge of feminine character. He knows the rocks and the shoals of love. And skillful pilot that he is, he avoids them. He is sure of his course, master of his equipment, if he errs at all, but I anticipate. Those were very joyous days, notwithstanding the applications of cold water so liberally bestowed by my confidential advisers. And eagerly and successfully I exerted myself to convince the doubting ones in general, and buncy in particular, how absurd were their suspicions, and how apparent it was that Phyllis and I had been purposely created for each other. Mary threw herself into our pleasures as heartily and joyously as her New England nature would permit, which was never a very riotous demonstration. And Phyllis, with the effervescence and enthusiasm of girlhood, eagerly assented to every proposition that had its pleasure-seeking side. While I, as a thoughtful lover should, busied myself in schemes for summer dissipation, thankful that it was in my power to prove so devoted a night, and inwardly rejoicing at my triumph over those who had taxed me with such unworthy thoughts. Even Frederick, good fellow that he was, allowed himself unusual days of vacation to partake of our merriment, and it pleased me greatly to see that when business cares or physical disinclination kept me off the program, he no longer allowed his indifference to interfere with his duty as my nephew and personal representative. Such, I take it, is the obligation of all young men similarly placed. For before many weeks had passed, I discovered that it was not wise to allow the fleeting dissipations of the moment, however alluring, to monopolize time which should be given to the serious affairs of life. I found that a cramped position in a boat in the hot sun brought on nervous headaches, and that too much time in the garden when the dew was falling was conducive to lumbago. Furthermore, I had been invited by a neighboring university to deliver my celebrated lecture on the Protagonism of Plato, and several new and excellent thoughts had come to me which required careful and elaborate development. I explained these matters conscientiously and fully to Phyllis, and while she offered no unreasonable protest, her pretty face clouded, and she did me the honor to say that half the enjoyment was removed by my absence. Once she even went so far as to declare that Plato was a horrid man, and that she believed I thought more of him than of her, a most ridiculous conclusion, but so essentially feminine that I forgave her at once. And when she came to me and put her arms around my neck and urged me to go with her to a tennis match, a foolish game where grown-up people knock little balls over a net with a battle-door, I pointed out to her that such spectacles, while eminently proper for young folk, argued a failing mind in those of mature years. With a charming pout she said, Do you think you would have refused to go if my mother had asked you? Now tennis is a sport that has come up since Sylvia and I were children together, but I recalled, with a guilty blush, the time when she and I won the village championship in doubles in an all-day siege of croquet. So what could I say in my own defense? Therefore I went with Phyllis to the tennis court, and sat for two long and inexpressibly dreary hours watching the senseless and stupid proceedings. It was pleasant to reflect that I was with Sylvia's daughter, and I tried to imagine that the keen interest of youth still remained, but I was sadly out of place. I am satisfied that this game of tennis has nothing of the fascinating quality of croquet. On our arrival home Phyllis kissed me and thanked me for what she called my self-denial, but after that one experience Frederick represented me at the tennis court, as, indeed, the good-natured boy consented to do at many similar festivities. And so the summer wore gradually away, one day's enjoyment lazily following in others, with nothing to disturb the serenity of my life or to interfere with the calm content into which I had settled. Phyllis was everything that a moderate and reasonable lover could wish, kind, gentle, affectionate within the bounds of maidenly discretion, attentive to my wishes and considerate of my caprices. The more I saw of her the more I was persuaded that I had chosen wisely and well. One afternoon Frederick at my suggestion had gallantly given up his work in the office and taken Phyllis down the river. I sat with Buncie in the library and took occasion to expound to him the philosophy of perfect love. The trouble is, I said, that people rush blindly into matrimony. They think they are in love, work themselves up to the proper pitch of madness, propose and marry while they are in delirium. Hence so much of the wretchedness and misery that we see in the homes of our friends. For my part I am committed to the doctrine of affinities. It is true that I, like many others, was guilty of the usual folly in my youth, and perhaps that gave me the wisdom to wait for my second venture until precisely the right party came along. Matrimony, Buncie, is an exact science. If we regulate our passion, control all silly emotion, study feminine nature as critically and methodically as we investigate a mathematical problem, and commit ourselves only when the affinity presents herself we shall make no mistakes. For, after all, what is an affinity? Nothing more than a human being sent by providence as perfectly adapted to the wheels and curves of your nature. A very pretty theory, retorted Buncie grimly, and by the way, when do you think of rushing into matrimony? Really, I said, somewhat confused. To be entirely honest with you, I have not settled on any particular day. You see, Phyllis should have her fling. She is very young. True, but you are not. As Buncie said this, he rose and tossed a cigar out of the window. Stand hope, he went on. We are old friends, and I don't wish to be continually seeming to interfere with your business. But if I were a man with fifty years leering hideously at me, and engaged to a pretty girl of two and twenty, I'd make quick work of it before providence came along with a younger affinity in a Panama hat, negligee shirt, and duck trousers. I stared at him with a sort of helpless amazement. Exactly what do you mean? I asked. Well, he answered, shrugging his shoulders. At the risk of being kicked out of the house, let me say that I think such an affinity has already presented himself. Indeed, and who may that be? Suppose we say Frederick. My nephew? Exactly, your nephew. He is an uncommonly good-looking fellow, and thanks to his uncle's childlike belief in providence and the doctrine of affinities, he has most unusual opportunities to test that doctrine for himself. I daresay that he is making a formal study of the situation at this very moment, and inviting providence to appear on the scene as his sponsor. What more was said at this interview, if indeed it did not terminate with this brutal statement, I cannot recall, for Buncie, usually so flippant and cynical, spoke with an earnestness that stunned me. My knowledge of the philosophy of love told me that he was wrong. My observation of the actualities of life made me fear that he might be right. Theoretically, I could not have been mistaken in my course. Practically, I began to see weak spots in the chain of evidence. Swiftly, I ran over the events of the spring and summer, and as little spots no bigger than a man's hand magnified themselves into black clouds, Buncie, sitting opposite, seemed to grow larger and larger, and his smile more malicious and demon-like. Possibly, had I been a younger and more impetuous man, I should have flown into a passion, taken Buncie at his word, and kicked him out of the house. But the philosophy of the thing engrossed me, filled me with half fear, half curiosity, and engaged all my mental faculties. Had I been mistaken? Could I be deceived in the daughter of Sylvia? However strong my suspicions may have been, they were not increased when, with the evening, Phyllis and Frederick came home from their excursion. Never was Phyllis more unreserved, more cordial, more joyous, more attentive to the little wants which I, in a mean and shameful test, imposed on her. She could not be acting apart, this New England girl, with her alert conscience, her puritan impulse and training, her aversion to everything that savored of deceit. And Frederick was as much at his ease as if I knew nothing, as if I had not heard of his duplicity, as if the whole house and grounds were not ringing with accusations of his unworthiness. Such are the phenomena of the philosophy of middle life. I insisted that he should remain for the evening, and, after dinner, with that contrariness accountable only in a true student of psychology, I made a trifling excuse and walked down to the square, leaving them together. The curfew was ringing, as, returning, I entered the lower gate at the end of the garden, and passed slowly along by the arbor. It may have been provident, it may have been chant. It certainly was not philosophy that directed my steps to the far side of the syringa hedge, which shut me off from the view of those who might come down to the rustic seat at the foot of the cherry tree. At least I had no intention of playing the spy, and when I heard Frederick's voice, and knew instinctively that Phyllis was with him, I quickened my pace that I might not be a sharer of their secrets. But an irresistible impulse made me pause when I heard the foolish fellow say, After tonight I shall not come again. It is better for us to break now than to wait until it is too late. Her reply I could not hear. Presently he said, and a little brokenly, I have fought it all out. It has been hard, so hard, but I must meet it as it comes. Then I heard Phyllis's voice. It is for the best. I believe that you care for me. I know how much I care for you, and how much this effort is costing me. We were too late. No other course in honour presents itself. God knows how eagerly and hopelessly I have sought a way out of this tangle of duty. Again I heard Phyllis's voice, sunk almost to a whisper. I have given my word. It is for the best. The Governor has been so good to me, Frederick exclaimed resentfully, that I feel like a criminal even at this moment when I am making for him the sacrifice of a life. He has been my father, my protector. What I am I owe to him, and I must meet him like a grateful and honest man. You would not have it otherwise? And for the third time Phyllis answered, It is for the best. Had I been of that remarkable stuff of which your true hero is made, of which Buncie's heroes are made, and had I come up to the very reasonable expectations of the followers of literary romance, I should have burst through the syringa with passion in my face, and rage in my heart, and precipitated a tragedy. Or, on the other side, I should have taken those ridiculous children by the hand, and ended their suffering with my blessing, then and there. But as I am only a very common clay, with little liking for heroics, I did what any selfish and unappreciative man would have done, and stole quietly away. I even felt a sort of fierce joy in the knowledge of the security of my position, a mean exultation in the thought that Phyllis was bound to me, and that those from whom I might reasonably fear the most, acknowledged the hopelessness of their case. Most strangely there came to me no resentment with the knowledge that I had been supplanted by my nephew in the affections of the girl. The fact that she loved another, surprised, rather than agitated me, my argument was upset, my doctrine of affinities had been seriously damaged in my individual case, and here was I, who should have been yielding to the pangs of disappointment, or raging with wounded pride, reflecting with considerable calmness on the reverses of a philosopher. I went into the library and lighted a cigar. I threw myself into an easy chair, and as I looked up I saw a spider-web in a corner of the ceiling. I must speak to prudence about that in the morning, I said to myself, with annoyance. Then for the first time it came to me that I was out of temper, and I was out of temper, and I was out of temper. For I am customarily tranquil and not easily upset. My mind wandered rapidly from one thing to another, and oddly enough I caught myself humming a little tune, which had no sort of relevancy to the events of the day. I tried to dismiss the incident of the garden as the temporary folly of a romantic girl, which would wear itself out with a weak's absence. Why should it trouble me? Had I been lacking in kindness or affection? Should I be disturbed because a few boat rides and the influence of moonlight had wrought on a mere child? Was I not secure in her promise, and had I not heard her say she had given her word? As for Frederick, was he not my debtor? Had he not confessed it? Then why give more thought to the matter? It was awkward, but both were young and both would outlive it. Sylvia and I were young and we outlived it. But still kept ringing in my ears that despairing half-whisper. It is for the best. Petulently I threw away my cigar and went up to my room. I walked over to the dressing-case and turned up the gas. The shadow displeased me and I lighted the opposite jet. Then I stood squarely before the mirror and looked critically at the reflection. Yes, John Stanhope, you are growing old. That expanding forehead with the retreating hairs tells the tale of time. The gray upon your cheeks is whitening, and the razor must be used more vigilantly to further deception. Those creases in your face can no longer be dismissed as character lines. The shagginess of your eyebrows has the flying years to account for it. Plainly, John, you and Humbug must part company. You are not of this generation, and it is not for you. I turned down the gas, threw open the window, and let the moonlight filter in through the elms and over the tops of the little pines. The soft beauty of the night soothed me, and gradually and very gently my irritation and annoyance slipped away. Why should not a young girl, radiant in youth and beauty, affect a young man of her generation? What has an old fellow, with all his money and worldly experience and burnt out youth, to give in exchange for that intoxication which every girl may properly regard her lawful gift? Undoubtedly I should make a better husband, as husbands go, than my romantic nephew, and any woman of rare common sense would see the advantages of my position. But why burden a woman with that rare common sense which robs her of the first and sweetest of her dreams? No, John Stanhope, go back to your pipe and your books and your gardening. Your life of selfish, indolent, do nothing. Take life as it comes most easily and naturally. By sparing one heart you may save, too. And that nephew of mine, what a fine manly fellow he proved himself when put to the test. The Governor had been good to him, and he was going to stand by the Governor. How my heart jumped! And what a warm little feeling there was about the internal cockles, as I recalled his words. Bravely said, my boy, and nobly done, I fear I should not have been so generous at your age and with Sylvia. And with Sylvia. How the past crowded back at the thought of her. Who are you, old dreamer, who neglected the gift the good gods provided in the heyday of your youth to return to chase the phantom of the past? Behind that little white cloud, sailing far into the north, Sylvia may be peeping at you and smiling at the delusion of her ancient whore. Or why not think that she is pleading with you, pleading for her child and the lover, as she might have pleaded for herself and somebody else, had somebody else known his own heart before it was too late? I watched the white cloud as it passed on and on, growing smaller and fainter as it receded. I settled back still deeper in my chair and side. And then, oh unworthy night of love, and then I fell asleep. End of Section 7 Recording by Roger Maline Section 8 of The Romance of an Old Fool This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Roger Maline The Romance of an Old Fool by Roswell Field Section 8 In the morning, before the family was astir, I wrote a note pleading a sudden and imperative call to town and vanished for the day. I argued with myself that such a step was a delicate consideration for a young woman who, having listened to a confession of love a few hours before, would be hardly at her ease at a breakfast-table conversation. Incidentally, I was not altogether sure of myself, although I was much refreshed by an excellent night's sleep, which comes to every philosopher with courage and strength to rise above the unpleasant things in life. If Phyllis had yielded to an emotion of grief, there was little trace of it when we met at evening. I fancied that she was somewhat paler and her manner at times seemed a little listless, but otherwise there was no great departure from her usual demeanor. As for myself, the long sunshine of a summer day, and the conviction that at last the opportunity had come to me to play the role of a minor hero, gave me a piece that amounted almost to buoyancy. No need had I of the teachings of the musty old philosophers reposing on my bookshelves. John Stanhope had learned more of life in a few short hours than all his tomes could impart. His books had helped him many times in diagnosing the cases of his friends. When John fell ill, they mocked and deceived him. Opportunally enough, Phyllis followed me into the library, and when at my request she sat on a little stool at my feet, and I held her hand and stroked her soft, light hair, a pang went through my heart, for I felt that she might be near me for the last time. The philosopher had yet much to learn. For several minutes we were both silent. Of the two I was doubtless the more ill at ease, although I concealed it bravely. Phyllis, I said at last, did you ever get over a childish fondness for fairy stories? She smiled at this. Was I wrong and fancying that her smile was that of sadness? And answered, I hope not. Because, I went on, bending over, and affectionately patting the hand I held, a little fairy tale has been running through my head all day, and I have decided that you shall be the first to hear it and pass on its merits. And because, I added gaily, if it has your approval, I may wish to publish it. Shall I begin? She nodded her head, I could swear now to the weariness the poor child was so staunchly fighting, and looked off toward the sunset. Once upon a time, you see that I am conventional, there lived a beautiful young princess, on whom a wicked old troll had cast an evil eye. Now, this wicked troll was not so good as I thought he was, now, this wicked troll was not so hideous as the trolls we see in our fairy books, I must say that, but he was so wicked that even this deficiency could not excuse him. The princess was as young and innocent, I was going to say as simple, as she was beautiful, and the wicked troll talked so much of his experience in the world, and boasted so hugely of his wealth and generosity and other shining virtues, that the imagination of the poor little princess was quite fired, and she was flattered into thinking that here was a treasure not to be lightly put aside. And so, in a foolish moment, she consented to be his bride, and he took her away to his castle. I believe trolls do have castles to make ready for the marriage. While the preparations were going on, and the wicked old troll was laughing with glee to think how he had deluded a princess, a handsome young prince appeared on the scene, and what so natural as that the princess should immediately contrast him with the troll. And it came about, also quite naturally, that before the prince and the princess knew that anything was happening, they fell so violently in love with each other that the birds and the bees and the flowers in the garden and the squirrels in the trees sang and hummed and gossiped and chattered about it. Here I paused. Phyllis did not look up, but I felt a shiver run through her body as I stroked her hair and put my arm around her shoulder to caress away her fear. But it happened that although the princess was so much in love that at time she must have forgotten even in the existence of the old troll, she was still possessed of that most inconvenient and annoying internal arrangement which we call the New England Conscience, and one night, when the prince had declared his love with more ardor than usual, she remembered the past, how she had promised to marry the troll, and how she must keep her word, as all good princesses do, and the prince, who was a very upright young man, most foolishly listened to her and agreed to give her up, whereupon these poor children, having resolved that it was for the best, Phyllis looked up quickly. Her face was white, and a look, half of fear, half of reproach, came to her eyes. She sank down and hit her face in her hands. Both my arms were around her, and I even laughed. Dear little princess, I whispered, Don't give way yet. The best is still to come. For you must remember that this is a fairy tale, and all fairy tales have a good ending. And, to make a long story short, this wicked old troll was not a troll at all, but a fairy godmother who had taken the form for good purposes. I would have said fairy godfather, but I have never come across a fairy godfather in all my reading, and I must be truthful. Well, the fairy godmother came along right in the nick of time, and of course you know who married and lived happily ever after. The convulsive movement of the poor child's body told me she was weeping. And I, being a philosopher, and more or less hard-hearted, as all philosophers are, let her weep on. Presently, she said in a voice hardly audible, I gave you my promise, and I meant to keep it. I am trying so hard to keep it. Of course you are, little girl, but why try? A bad promise is far better broken than kept, and, come to think of it, I am not at all sure that I am anxious to have you keep it. How do you know that I am not making a desperate effort to secure my own release? She raised her head quite unexpectedly and caught me with the tears in my eyes. My eyes always were weak. Why, you are crying, she said. Of course I'm crying. I always cry when I am particularly well pleased. It is a family peculiarity. You should see me at the theatre. At a farce comedy I am a depressing sight, and that is the reason I always avoid the front seats. Then, realizing that I might be carrying my gaiety too far, I went on more soberly. Can't you see, Phyllis, that the old fool's romance must come to an end? Don't you understand, that had I the selfish wish to hold you to a thoughtless promise, our adventure would terminate only in misery to us both? Perhaps you and I have been the last to see it. I, because I was thinking too much of myself. You, because you were carried away by an exalted sense of duty. Thank heaven it is clear to us both now, for it is clear, isn't it, dear? The foolish girl did not reply, but she kissed my hand, and it is astonishing how that little act of affection touched and strengthened me. So we are going to make a new start and begin right. Tomorrow I shall see Frederick and make a proposition to him, and if that rascal does not give up his heroics and come down to his plain duty as I see it, well, so much the worse for him. No, don't raise objections, she had started to speak, for I am always quarrelsome when I cannot have my own way. Go to your room and think it over, and remember, I said more gently, for that old tide of the past was coming in, that you are Sylvia's daughter, and that Sylvia would have trusted me and counseled you to obey me in all things. Slowly and with averted face Phyllis rose and walked toward the door. I had commanded her, and yet I felt a sharp pang of bitterness that she had yielded so quickly to my words. It seemed at the moment that everything was passing out of my life, that Phyllis, that Sylvia, that all the once sweet, continuous memory was lost to me forever. I could not call her back, and I could not hope that she would return. Philosopher that I was, I could not explain the sinking and the fear that took possession of me. The Philosopher did not know himself. All his thought and all his reasoning could not solve the simple riddle the quick intuition of a girl made clear. She had reached the door before she paused. Then she turned. I had risen mechanically and stood looking at her, as slowly she came back and waited as if for me to speak. And when the dull Philosopher groped helplessly for words, and could not meet the appealing eyes, she put her hands on his shoulders and laid her warm, young face on his heart, and said, Father! The night was peacefully beautiful. I had strolled out of the garden and down to the river, and there along the bridal path on the winding bank, I walked for miles. Absorbed in my own thoughts, I gave no heed to my little dog, Hero, trotting at my side, and looking anxiously up at me with her large brown eyes, as if saying in her dog-fashion, Don't worry, old man, I'm here! A strange inexplicable happiness had fallen to him who thought he knew all others, and did not know even himself. I crossed the river to return on the opposite shore, and all the way back, through the arching trees, the shadows danced in the moonlight, and the crickets chirped merrily. Life seemed so contrary, so bewildering, for I thought of the wedding music in those early mornings at my boyhood home, and I wondered, how I would be able to get out of the wedding music in those early mornings at my boyhood home, and I wondered at the optimism of nature in attuning all emotions to a joyous note. Again in my garden I saw a half-light in Phyllis's room. Coming nearer I saw that she was standing at the window, with the same cloud on her face that had betrayed the battle with her conscience. At sight of her all the joyous emotion of my new tenderness overwhelmed me, and I cried out cheerily, Good night, Phyllis! Something in my voice sent a smile to her eyes and gladness to her heart. As half-leaning from the window she kissed her hand to me, and called back softly, Good night, Father dear! The south wind came, bringing the scent of the rose and the honeysuckle, and stirring the drowsy branches of the elms. The river rippled merrily in the moonlight, hurrying to bear the tidings of happiness to the greater waters, and off in the distance the blue hills lifted their heads above the haze. Toward the north scutted the friendly little white cloud, and it seemed again a soothing fancy that Sylvia, oh sweet and pleasant world, end of Section VIII, recording by Roger Maline.